Tetsubun no Yokubou
by turtlechow
Summary: With an iron will, she will attempt to forge victory against the force that threatens to destroy her. ByaxOC. Sequel to Kagayai ta Hasu and the final installment in my Bleach Fanepic.
1. Chapter 1: Wish

A/N: The wait… is OVER!

My biggest anxiety at the point of posting the final chapter of KTH was the possibility that I would completely murder the plotline, as Bleach has (at this point, for those of you keeping up with the manga) pretty much done. Nonetheless, I decided to press onward despite my fears because I was (as usual) enjoying myself thoroughly. And since I've gotten several reviews and even a PM begging me to continue… well, what better time than now?

A brief note about the title: It translates roughly to Iron Desire, thanks to a combination of Google translator and online dictionaries. I also looked up some example sentences to make sure I was using the word "desire" right since desire can be... well... desire is a slippery term. Pun intended. And according to the example sentences, I am safe using the word as I have it. Hopefully, the internet is not lying to me.

If you've stumbled here by mistake and have not read Koware ta Tsubasa and Kagayai ta Hasu, then I suggest reading those first. Otherwise, you might be a little lost. ^_^' However, my readership has thus far enjoyed both and have reassured me that they are quality work. I hope to execute the same quality in this sequel to the sequel. Here goes nothing… enjoy, readers, and thank you again for your continual support.

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 1: Wish<em>

Takumi shielded his forehead against a frigid gust of wind that swept through the streets. He wished the weather would make up its mind. Soul Society had been wavering on the cusp of fall and winter for long enough in his opinion, but he knew he needn't be impatient for long. The change would come quickly and unexpectedly, as changes often did. He knew that all too well now, now that he knew he had allowed his one chance at doing something meaningful to turn away from Soul Society and traipse into Hueco Mundo with some vain hope of returning safely. She was a fool, yet at the same time, Takumi couldn't fail to acknowledge the courage it took to make that kind of decision. Yes, she was a fool… a hero and a fool.

The death she received in Soul Society was in no way, shape, or form a hero's death. Someone had leaked the information about Haru's demise and had deliberately left out the part regarding her true motives. He was suspicious of one captain in particular… then again, he already knew the truth, no thanks to his vigilant left eye. _It's simple and logical enough, _he thought. _Haru-sama didn't want to die a hero's death. I can't ask her why, since she's dead, but knowing what she wanted is good enough. Still… it bothers me. I wish… I understood. _Somehow, Takumi had adjusted relatively quickly to the idea that she wasn't coming back. He only wished that Byakuya would embrace the permanence of death rather than walling himself up behind his desk and working like the devil was at his back. A nagging anxiety gnawed at him as he thought of the unpleasant captain, who simply grunted every day when he came in and reported that he was going to the fifth division. What bothered him wasn't the fact that Haru was dead; it was the measures people took to forget that drove him mad. _What a pain. I thought he was unpleasant before, but now, it's just like hugging a porcupine._

He paused and cast his eyes towards Soukyouku Hill. The foreboding feeling about that place had long since faded, especially considering the one in his sight had faded out of existence. As Takumi continued on, he considered why he had seen it in the first place. _It makes sense that this power isn't perfect, _he told himself. _Still… _His mind turned back to the sixth division captain again, and he wondered about the existence of a partial truth. _I wonder what your motives are for this, Byakuya. Honestly, I can't see what good announcing it to the whole world has done you. Soul Society now scorns the name Yamashita more than they ever did, and you… well, that must make you suffer. I know I do. _He covered the patch over his left eye for a moment and peered skyward. _Yet why… why would you willingly agree to endure that much pain?_

_Perhaps because telling others makes the loss more concrete. _

_Hmm? _Takumi threw his eyes forward, not because he didn't want to hear any further explanation but because he wanted to keep moving. He hadn't been late to the fifth division since he had made a full recovery from the mild cold that had set in the night after he glimpsed his captain's true fate, and he planned to keep it that way, regardless of his mind's meanderings.

_Just think about it… if only the five of you knew the truth, how real would it be? What if someone said something, just off topic, about the suspiciousness of Haru-sama's abandonment and put forth the hypothesis, unknowingly, that she may have had a just cause for leaving?_

_I don't even know if it was a just cause, _Takumi responded with a sigh. _It bothers me a little that she never told me. Still, it wouldn't feel right trying to see it for myself, especially if she didn't want me to know._

_If you ponder about this much longer, it will drive you to madness._

_Please, _he retorted with a smirk. _Only you can do that, Akumashoku. _He chuckled easily as he rounded the corner to find the usual mayhem of the fifth division. _Without leadership, these guys are useless… _He sighed solemnly and continued walking, weaving around them as if he knew just where they would go, walking with his one visible eye closed and the other locked on his thoughts. As he stood in the door of the cafeteria and scanned the crowd, he didn't see the familiar face he expected to. Troubled, he moved to leave but then found his old "friends" intent on starting some trouble. Recalling his sister's words, he turned away with a smirk that spoke of a challenge and began towards a more empty area of the compound. Once he was completely alone, he turned slowly to his pursuers, a handful of shinigami no more fit to serve in what would have been Haru's division than they were to mop the floor with, and narrowed his eye. "I would ask why you're following me, but I already have a good idea why. If you're here for a fight, then I suppose I'll oblige."

"Eh?"

"I'm not running away this time," he answered. "If I did, then my sister would probably chew me out because I worried her, and I'm not about to do that." They exchanged glances for a moment, then burst into laughter. Perplexed, Takumi tilted his head and raised a brow. Clearly, they thought he was joking, and despite his insistence that he wasn't kidding, they continued laughing anyway. He nearly tried explaining to them exactly who his sister was, but then again, that wouldn't do much good, either. Her name and rank had the family name "Fujiwara" attached to it. With a woeful sigh, he pressed his left hand against his eye patch, shutting his other one and flashing a bitter smile.

"Please… you should be less concerned with what your sister's going to say and more concerned with what we're going to do."

"Yare, yare," he murmured, stepping forward and letting his left eye slide open. "You're so quick to look for a fight. This is so inconvenient." He peered at the sun for a moment, then dropped his head into a bow. _Gomenne, Momo-san. I guess I can't find you just yet. _They came at him one at a time. The first opponent was easy; Takumi simply threw him to the ground before needing to block or dodge the first strike. The second one, he thrust a foot against and sent tumbling backwards just before his fist was raised. The third, he hooked by swinging his arm backwards to swat the hand away then slamming the heel of his hand into his opponent's chin. The fourth managed to get his sword out, but before he could even think about using it, he too, found himself in much the same condition as his comrades: on the ground nursing one wound or another. But by then, the first two had managed to get back up, and then, there was their ringleader, who not only had his sword out but managed to slice through the air directly in front of him. He staggered backwards with a smirk and shot towards the third, who was still struggling to get up, and thrust a fist into his opponent's solar plexus.

As he turned away, he shot a venomous glare at the others, who stopped dead in their tracks when they saw the black line curving up his neck and towards the azure eye that dared them to come any closer. "What… is he?" one stammered. "It's like… he knows what we're going to do before we even do it!"

"Like hell," the ringleader retorted, drawing his sword and rushing forward. Takumi stared blankly at the metal for a moment before taking one step backwards.

_What are you doing?_

_Just wait, _Takumi told his zanpakutoh. When his attacker was barely out of sword's reach, he lost his balance and tipped forward. Apparently, he had forgotten that his comrade was in a heap directly in front of Takumi. He moved with the utmost precision and calculation, drawing his own blade from its sheath just long enough to strip his opponent of his weapon, then sheathing it. The motion was so fast that witnesses only imagined they saw the sword pass through the air. Just as soon as his attacker hit the ground, Takumi heaved him up by the front of his uniform and threw him against the wall. The look in his eye was murderous yet composed, so much so that the shinigami who had moments ago boasted about attacking him now had a pallor that rivaled Byakuya's. He studied the expression for a moment, read the fear in it, and drew an arm back before slamming his fist into the wall, just left of the shinigami he had pinned against it. Then, with the same calm demeanor, Takumi simply turned away, ignoring the blood dripping from one of his knuckles.

"Hey… wait a minute!"

"What? Are you going to complain that I'm letting you go?" He turned back with a smile that was almost pitiful, peering between locks of his hair with an eye that now seemed clouded with grief. "She would have wanted me to let you go, so… don't question mercy when it's given to you." Takumi turned away just as quickly and continued in the direction he had chosen, hands at his sides until he rounded a corner. Then, he sunk against a wall and covered his eyes with one trembling hand, releasing one strained gasp. _Kuso… over something like this… nande? _had to appear cheerful, if only for her sake. He couldn't bear to see her cry again, especially since last time, she had literally cried until she knocked herself out, and right on his shoulder to boot. He couldn't bear the thought of waking her any more than he could bear the thought of her tears, and so, he had simply let her doze until she snapped awake and hastily apologized before launching into another fit of tears, this one less severe, thankfully. _If I had another day like that, I think it would kill me._ He swallowed as he considered the thought.

_Takumi, are you feeling alright? _The question startled him; the words seemed so real that at first, he thought one of the shinigami has asked it. Then, he remembered.

_Why do you ask?_

_Because it isn't like you to let a bunch of guys who nearly messed you up really bad, not to mention their involving someone else in the whole mess, go with nothing more than a few minor wounds._

_I'm fine, _he answered, pushing his hands harder over his eyes and gritting his teeth. _Just fine… give me a moment. _He drew a slow breath and endeavored to make himself at least presentable, drying his face with an effort he seldom put forth, then turned and rose again. _It's so strange, _he thought as he rounded a corner. _When I first met her, I thought things would stay relatively normal, but instead, they've whirled far beyond my scope of vision._

_Yare, yare, _the demon commented. He could tell Akumashoku was flicking his twin tails amusement. _The longings of the heart are so strange and inexplicable._

_What the hell are you talking about? _Takumi retorted, his visible eye filling with bewilderment. _Are you insinuating that… that…_

_Come now, Takumi. You can't tell me that that comment was only directed at the tragic events of last week. _Horrified, he stopped and glared down at the hilt of his katana. _Besides, when she met her end, your orders ended as well, yet you still carry them out dutifully each day. You spare Byakuya a glimpse or two, just to make sure he's not doing anything stupid, but her… if she even considers neglecting her physical needs, you intervene. And glimpses? No… you keep your eye on her constantly, both the one you show others and the one you only show her…_

"Baka!" he shouted, pulling it out of his obi and leveling the sheathed sword with his eyes. "What you're saying is all wrong! If I'm watching anyone, I've got reasons for it! Got that? I don't stare at people just because I…" He was still shouting, but his sudden awareness of Hinamori, who was perched on the roof of the captain's office peering down at him, made him bite off the rest of his sentence and stare awkwardly at the ground for a few moments. Clearing his throat, he put on a smile and waved to her, rubbing the back of his head and laughing nervously. He still clutched the sheathed weapon, as if it gave him any excuse to be yelling like that. "Yo," he said casually, pacing towards the building. Hinamori glanced down at him and attempted a smile before raising her hand in a half-hearted wave. "Mind if I join you?"

"Eh?" she stammered as he leapt onto the roof and made himself comfortable. Then, he released a deliberate sigh, one that signified some kind of resolve.

"Sorry if I startled you earlier."

"Ano…" She paused, then glanced at the ground. "Why are you… up here?" A trace of seriousness raced across his face. Then, he leaned back into a full recline, folding his hands beneath his head and losing himself for a moment in the clear view of the sky. "Takumi?"

"I like heights, alright?" he answered, rolling over on his side. "There were lots of times in the past that I was feeling pissed off or down, and whenever that happened, I would always climb on top of a roof to think things over."

"Oh," she answered softly, folding her hands and peering away. Takumi perceived a hint of disappointment that perhaps even she wasn't aware of. She glanced down for a moment, her eyes skimming over his skin. "What… happened to your hand?"

"Oh this?" He raised it and stared at the blood. "It's nothing serious." Before he could object, she had already taken it, rested it on her knees, and started pouring the faint light of medicinal kidou over it. The pain in his bones drifted away, and he stared up at her. Still, she avoided his eyes.

"Has your… zanpakutoh been giving you a hard time about something?"

"Yeah, but I'm really not at liberty to discuss it." In the past, he would have simply ended the sentence right there, but before he could stop himself, he had attached an apology to the end of his statement.

"It's fine," she answered, smiling slightly. "I understand." Something told him that she didn't understand at all. True, Hinamori understood the grief just as well as he did, but what lay beyond it? She would probably comprehend it if he ever had the courage to tell her, but that wouldn't be anytime soon. He peered at her with one eye.

"What about you?"

"Hmm?"

"Why are you up here on the roof? It's cold, and you're hungry."

"I'm not…" But the sharpness in his eye cut her off before she could finish the lie. "I just… needed to clear my head."

"Understandable," he answered. "Still, I find it kind of hard for me to think when my stomach is empty." Takumi silently admitted how much he hated his current situation, but worse still, he hated the fact that he could do nothing to rectify it. There he was, the seventh seat of the sixth division and nothing more than foot soldier in a division without a captain, and while it would have been simple to cancel his request for a partial transfer, doing so would take him farther away from Hinamori, whom he knew would not eat if not for his constant minding. With a heavy sigh, he turned onto his back and stared at the sky again, wondering how things had inevitably spun so far out of his control. "I used to wish I could make a difference, you know?" He had said it aloud without even thinking, and before he could stop himself, he continued speaking. "At least with her around, I had a chance." She had finished healing his hand enough not to stop him when he suddenly moved. That sting in his eyes again, the one that made his head throb, soon surfaced, and he immediately sat up, pressing a hand against his forehead, noting that it trembled with the effort it took to hold back.

"Takumi…"

"Chikusho," he murmured, bowing his head a little lower. Hinamori perceived the grimace on his face and turned, crawling towards him. "Until that moment, I never knew hope. I merely resigned myself to the workings of fate. She changed that. And the price she paid… why did she have to suffer? What had she ever done but hope that she could change things?" Takumi shuttered as he felt a hand fall against his arm. When he shifted his eye, he found Hinamori's sorrowful gaze peering at him, thankfully tearless. With a smile of relief, he wiped his face with the back of his hand. "Sorry. I guess I'm just bitter."

"Bitter?"

"I should know by now that not everyone receives a fate they deserve. It's not that I don't grieve. I have every day since it happened, but there's part of me… that doesn't want to let go of hope." Takumi pressed a hand against his eye patch and let his eye close. "And I can't see why, for the life of me, Akumashoku would even let me cling to some kind of futile hope like that."

"Futile hope is better than no hope at all."

"Iie," Takumi replied, shaking his head as a serious look overcame my face. "Of all the forces in this world, only deception and doubt are more deadly than false hope. Besides, this eye should be able to see through false hope." He pointed to his left eye, and even through the barrier, Hinamori felt it peer at him.

"Then… is there a possibility that your hope isn't false?"

"Oh, no… I'm positive that Haru is dead."

"Iie, that's not what I meant," she said, clearly exasperated at his blunt expression of the truth. "I mean… is there another way for you to get what you're aiming for? All you want is to affect this place somehow, no matter how small the level. Am I wrong?"

"Iie… that sounds about right."

"Then you've already done that."

"I'm not sure I understand," he answered. Suddenly, his words weren't coming so easily. He could feel a different kind of redness spreading across his face, one that was fortunately concealed by the frigid gust of wind that swept through their surroundings.

"I think that in some way, you may have changed me." For a few moments, there was silence. Takumi avoided her gaze to the extent that he could, and when she could no longer endure not seeing his face, she pressed a gentle hand against his jaw and turned his head towards her. "Takumi, you helped me reconnect with this place. You got a partial transfer after taichou left to make sure I didn't forget about everything again, and you're always making sure I take care of myself."

"I'm only doing that because she asked me to."

"I don't think so," Hinamori insisted. "It may have started out that way. We both made the effort because of her, but if it was only because of that, then why are we still acting civil towards each other?"

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that, somehow, we've come to trust each other enough to keep being civil, even though we've really got no reason to." Takumi drew a breath sharper than he would have liked not to mention the look on his face had become utterly absurd. He managed to swallow and blink twice before pulling back with enough force to send him toppling off the edge of the building and straight onto the ground. "Takumi!" Hinamori's face appeared above him, a bit blurry yet clear enough to recognize. He groaned and rolled over, perceiving that her feet hit the ground and bolted to him. She dropped to her knees at his side and gently shook his shoulder. "Takumi? Takumi? Daijoubu desu ka?" Slowly, he turned towards her, gasping because he was winded and because his head was spinning a little bit. With a groan, he sat up and hunched forward until his breath caught up with him. When it did, he flashed her an amused smile and threw in a laugh for good measure. Immediately, her expression changed to bewilderment.

"Gomenasai. Did I worry you, Momo-san?"

"Idiot!" she shouted, punching him in the arm with enough force to knock him down again. He continued laughing despite the pain until he started coughing. "I thought you were seriously hurt, after a drop like that! It's your own damn fault!"

"I know," he stated, sitting up again with a smile. "But if you hadn't startled me, then maybe I wouldn't have fallen."

"Oh, hell, no! You are not turning this back on me! Hey! Are you even listening?" He had tilted his head at a certain angle that suggested thought, but the smile lingered, bemused yet troubled. "What is it now?"

"Betsuni."

"I don't believe you."

"Just trust me. If it needed to be said, I would say it." He smiled again, then rose and dusted himself off. "Well, now that I've got you down here at ground level, what do you say to some lunch?"

"Don't change the subject!" As he started walking off, she followed him if only because she was irritated and cold, and, as much as she hated to admit it, a little bit hungry. "Takumi, what was going through your head back there? Come on. Tell me."

"It's not something you need to know."

"Or maybe it's just something you don't want me to know." His posture betrayed him; at least she had figured out that much. "Takumi…"

"Let it be, Momo." He said it quietly but pleadingly, enough so that she almost did, but some part of her still wanted to know. Still, as much as she goaded him, he said nothing. He simply kept smiling in amusement at her somewhat irritated state. Long after she had filled her stomach, her curiosity still lingered, just like the grief that, for some reason, she could not relinquish.

* * *

><p>The taste of stale awareness drifted into her mouth, and she knew that she was dreaming again.<p>

Her eyes flitted open to an absolute blank whiteness. She felt heavy, stiff… she wasn't sure what more she could do but drift in that snowy void and stare at the emptiness. And remember… remember that first night. It had left her once in death; it wouldn't part from her again, not now that she had her hands on it, not now that she had relived it who knew how many times in the timelessness of that place.

It had been a clear, starry night, but a momentous one nonetheless. She had been up against one too many hollow. Although she was good with her sword for someone her age, she wasn't good enough to handle so many at once. Her stamina, the weak point that Byakuya had found and utilized in their first duel, did nothing to prevent the onslaught. The eighth or ninth one stripped her of her sword. She killed two more with kidou, then cried out as one bit into her arm. There were tears in her eyes, but for some reason, fear hadn't touched her. Her gaze had remained steady, as if she were fully prepared for her demise.

And then…

Perhaps fate had not seen her fit to die. Perhaps even back then, she had willed it to happen. Somehow or other, she found herself thrown on the ground, gripping the bleeding wound in her shoulder and rolling over on her side while gritting her teeth in pain. She laid there in a daze, only half-conscious, and recalled her purpose with enough vigor to stagger up, grab her sword, and charge forward without a question or a care. Something had seized her in that moment, when her glasses had fallen cracked on the pavement, when her hair streamed free of its restraint. It wasn't the desire to kill that made her swing so powerfully. No, she knew, and perhaps her savior knew as well, that it was her will to live that drove her to kill. She slashed through every hollow without remorse until the last one was finally gone. Then, she fell to her knees on the pavement, remembering her wound and grasping it, her forehead meeting the asphault and gasped for breath, waiting for her mind to catch up with everything else.

She had ignored it at first, that suspiciously familiar feline shape that she had seen but once before. She had to confirm it. With the strength she had left, she sat up and gazed at him, staring into his teal eyes and drawing a slow breath as she tried to process his actions, his presence, the black blood seeping from between his teeth. The situation sent every boundary she had ever learned into a precarious state of non-being. "The shinigami," her sensei had exclaimed, "are here to exterminate hollow and bury the plus. But hollow don't really die when their masks are cut. No… they are sent to Soul Society, too, reborn as souls in rukongai, just like the plus. This cycle continues on infinitely. Still, that doesn't mean a hollow wants to be saved. They will try to kill you if given the chance." That certainly had been true in the past, but why was this hollow, this strange and powerful hollow, trying to save her?

"Can you walk?" She gazed at him and nodded once. "Come on. There's water not far off." It seemed an odd thing, but now that he mentioned it, she was thirsty, and needed to clean her sword off. She followed him to the river's edge, stumbling a bit down the sharp declivity of its bank and then kneeling. She stared at herself for a moment; how different she looked with her hair rolling about her shoulders and her eyes unhindered, almost as if she weren't human. The gleam in her eyes rivaled that of the moon, which danced atop the gentle flow and attracted her gaze momentarily. Then, she remembered the hollow and dared to glance at him again.

"Drink." That was all he said. With another nod, she set her zanpakutoh aside and washed her hands, then cupped some water in them before tilting it to her lips. She repeated the process until her thirst was quenched, then threw a handful of water across her face. She dried it away with the sleeve of her uniform and peered back to him with her hands in her lap, trying to read his expression. Confused but not afraid, she sighed and dropped her head a bit, pushing one tendril of hair behind her ear before continuing to study him. "You don't say much for a shinigami."

"Is that bad?"

"Nah… kind of nice, actually. The ones I've met usually talk too much." He lowered his head and drank as well after the water had shifted enough to dilute the taste of her blood. Haru took another handful and threw it over her face, rubbing vigorously as she felt the sting of tears in her eyes again. Wave after wave of relief crashed onto her until she finally let loose a single sob that drew his actions to a stop. It was good to be alive. Once she composed herself, she washed her face again and began to clean the zanpakutoh, whose gleam made the hollow a little more hesitant than he had been.

"I won't use it on you if you don't attack me."

"What the hell kind of reasoning is that?"

"Reasoning enough. Besides, I'm injured. I can't take you out." Her silvery-violet gaze settled on him. "So why didn't you kill me? Iie… why… did you save me?"

"Doesn't matter," he stated. "I just wanted a bite, although… you're pretty shrimpy for a shinigami." In a split second, she sheathed the blade and slammed it against his skull.

"I am not!" she declared. "I'll have you know, I'm just about as tall as everyone else my age, and the last time a boy tried to beat me up, I gave him an ass-kicking that his grandchildren will feel!" He peered up at her, and when his pupils narrowed, Haru realized that she had just struck the hollow that had saved her. "A… ano… sumimasen. Sensei says I have a quick temper… when it comes to things like that."

"Nande?"

"Hmm?"

"Why did you save me?" Haru's eyes flickered, and she cast them up towards the moon, which devoured her attention as she processed the complete lack of discomfort she felt with the situation. There was that rainy night where she had seen the hollow. She hadn't saved him per se, but she had spared him. That must have meant something, both to her and to him. Otherwise, he would have devoured her by now. Her brow furrowed, and she bowed her head. "Nande?" Another moment of silence transpired, and she sat down, resting the sword in the crook of her arm and staring longingly at the river's ever-changing surface.

"I don't know," she said at last. "But I could ask you the same thing." Scoffing, the hollow turned away and finally rose, stalking away. "Where are you going?"

"Back," he answered. "It ain't safe for me here."

"Aren't you going to kill me?"

"Nah," he retorted. "You're too scrawny."

"Urusai!" she shouted, raising her sword and swinging it threateningly. He flitted his tail indifferently and paced into the garganta he had opened. "Matte." The beckon stopped him, and he peered back with the same deadly eyes. "At least tell me who you are."

"Nande?"

"So I can return the favor."

"Che," he growled. "You're a shinigami, and I'm a hollow. You don't owe me anything."

"Demo…" He turned those steely blue eyes on her again, then began stalking away. "You can't leave yet."

"Eh? Are you going to try to kill me with that little thing, chibi honoo?"

"What did you just call me?" she shouted.

"Nani? I think the name suits you, chibi honoo."

"I already told you, I'm not little! And I have a name! In fact, I've got two! Bet you can't beat that."

"Why would I want to?"

"Because it's cool." He twitched his ears and looked dubiously at her.

"Then go tell your little shinigami friends or whatever."

"I can't do that," she answered quietly, glancing at her feet. His ear twitched slightly, and he glanced at her. "I'm not supposed to tell anyone, and even if I wanted to, I've got no one to tell."

"Then why do you want to tell me?"

"So you can find me if you need me to pay you back."

"I told you before," he growled, stalking away, "I don't believe in any of that debt stuff. I'm a hollow."

"So?" The word made him jolt and stop again, but he didn't look back at her. "I don't really care what you are. I owe you a debt, and it's in my code of pride to pay it no matter what." He probably felt Urahara drawing closer; she certainly did.

"Grimmjow," he murmured. "Grimmjow Jeagerjaques." Only then did something recognizable race across his eyes. That settled it. The hollow she had seen several weeks before on a rainy night, the one she had stared at from the porch for more than two hours, the one that only darted away just before Urahara appeared and set a hand on her shoulder, asking her gently what it was… they were the same hollow. The pair of eyes had peered at her directly through the darkness, hungry, intent on murder, and she had stared at them unafraid. And she had lied, said it was only the wind. She had almost forgotten… how could she have? With a smile, she bowed her head and then raised her eyes again, which shone brilliantly, innocently, in the sun's light.

"Grimmjow-san, then."

"Grimmjow-san?"

"Yeah… I know we're not familiar with each other, but your last name sounds kind of hard to say." His tail flicked through the air, and she slid her sword into her obi, clutching her wounded arm and smiling at the sticky feeling of blood on her fingers. "Both of my names are easy. At school, they call me Tokazawa Miharu, but my real name is…"

Thoughts of a strange hollow flitted through her head as she staggered over the door frame of Urahara's shop, took one look at her sensei, who was staring at a pair of cracked glasses, and delivered a faint, "Tadaima," which made him stir and wrap his arms around her despite the blood seeping through her uniform. She spent two days recovering from things other than the wound in her shoulder.

That name. It was the same name that had condemned her to death. Years later, when she was fifteen, she would be pacing through a crosswalk with a violin case in her hand and a sack of books on her back, and the old feeling of that murderous gaze would bubble up in her. She imagined the sound of her name through the depths of time, echoing hostilely, as she imagined his reiatsu drift through the air, and in that moment, the unfortunate man in a car would tear her flesh, break her bones, and paint the pavement with a smear of her blood. Moments later, she would wake up, staring at her corpse, so horrified that she couldn't even scream. Then, she would back into a corner and sink to the sidewalk, letting the rain pour over her head in torrents. So, Aizen had known after all, and what was more, he had capitalized on it. Either that, or he had changed so much that he now volunteered to play some part in killing her. That was why he had insisted on assigning that hollow to be her guardian.

_The memory hurts you. _She heard the voices that weren't Suzaku's and turned her head. _Your desire… do you want me to make you forget? _Haru opened her mouth and tried to speak but found herself incapable of doing so. _Your desire… tell me your desire, and wish for it._

_My desire… _Her head turned again in the whiteness. _I want… to go back._

_If that is your wish, _said the voices, _then awaken... _

She heard a name that wasn't her own, but one that her soul responded to in a peculiar way. Understanding flooded her mind, understanding that became dull and disappeared altogether when consciousness crushed it. With a gasp, she sat up and opened her eyes to a whir of color, but the excruciating pain gnawing at her hip caused her to give a sharp cry and collapse again. She noted that her mouth was dry and that her body ached, yet at the same time, there was some kind of light hovering over her, and a voice calling her name gently. After the third time, a question followed, but she couldn't hear the words yet. "Haru-san." At last, she perceived the syllables, one by one. With difficulty, she turned her head towards the sound of the words and found Orihime kneeling beside her, hands pressed against some kind of orangeish dome of light. "Don't sit up so fast. I haven't finished healing your wounds yet." Haru sighed and slung an arm over her eyes, nauseated by the mere fact that she had wounds. No doubt, her hair would be mended by her phenomenon rejection. "That aside, Hirako-san said something about poison, and I don't really have much experience with that, but I'll…"

"Why… are you here?" Haru opened her eyes again and peered at the ceiling, surprised at how difficult it was to speak. Her voice was weak, but she could manage it. Somehow, laying back down for a moment had cleared her thoughts, and she found herself staring at the familiar warehouse she never thought she would end up in. Her last moments of consciousness, hazy though they were, came rushing back to her. "Shinji…"

"He'll be back in a minute. He went to eat something."

"Sou… ka." Her lips formed the words cooperatively. "How long… was I out?"

"Eight days, I think. That's what he said anyway."

"Then… why… are you here?"

"Apparently, Hachi-san didn't want me trying anything until he knew you would pull through the poison. Hirako-san visited me a few days ago and said you were alive, but I didn't believe it, not since Rukia-san came back from Soul Society with the news that you were…" She expected Haru to grimace or convey some anger, but instead, a solemn smile spread across her face.

"Who… said I was dead?"

"Fujiwara-san… I think."

"Souka," she murmured again. "Then… everyone thinks I'm dead?"

"Everyone but the vizards and myself. I didn't even tell Ishida-kun you were here. I was afraid he would do something rash."

"I appreciate it," she answered. "It's my job to tell him I'm alive." She shut her eyes for a few moments and detected a slight warmth spreading over her numerous minor wounds. Beyond that, she felt Orihime's eyes gazing at her, questioning her. "Aren't you going to ask me… why I'm here with the vizard?"

"Iie," she answered. "I'm curious, but now isn't the time for you to be expending so much energy." Haru peered at her for a moment, then smiled darkly.

"This is true."

"Ano…" Orihime paused and peered down at Haru, who shifted her eyes in that general direction to signify that she was listening. "Can I just ask you one thing, though?" Haru nodded her ascent slowly. "It's not my place to say this, but… you gave the impression that you left because you betrayed Soul Society, so… why are you here?" Haru peered at her for a moment, then smiled with relief.

"That was a lie… I asked my vice captain to give."

"A lie?"

"My allegiance belongs to Yamamoto Genryuusai Shigekuni and the Gotei 13. I would not place it in any cause I didn't believe in. That is why… I am here." She smiled again and sat up despite Orihime's initial objections. Haru swept one lock of hair behind her ear and peered at Orihime through the dome of light. "The only things I owed Aizen were a good punch in the face, a hearty blow to his power, and a dose of his own medicine. You see, the Yamashita clan believes in paying all its debts, whether they are favors or justification for revenge."

"How can you function on such a code of honor?"

"Honor?" Haru stammered. "Orihime-san, I take no pride in exacting revenge on anyone, not even on Aizen. The only thing I take pride in… is protecting what is precious to me." With her burning eyes locked on the ceiling, she uttered those words. Then, she sank against the window beside her and peered out at the desolate autumn scene. She found Suzaku close by her side and touched the sword, narrowing her eyes and running a hand along the deceptively innocent wooden sheath. She detected life in her sword yet. Relieved, she lifted the blade and placed it in the crook of her arm, then stared blankly out the window. "I'll stop at nothing to ensure the safety of this world, Orihime-san. That much, I can promise you. I may have left it behind for something that is more suited to my nature, but I haven't forgotten what it means to me. This place, and the people in it… and all of the memories I have here." Remembering the nature of her dream before she woke up, she clenched a fist around her sword until it trembled, and considering her current state, it didn't take much. "Matte," she stammered, turning to Orihime with a wild look in her eyes. "If Rukia-san is here, then…"

"I guess… Byakuya-san sent her here."

"Byakuya-sama…" Haru's hand shot to her neck and clasped around the band of metal beneath her yukata. A dark look passed over her face before she glanced to Orihime. "How much longer do you think I'll be here?"

"A while yet. I can't heal your reiatsu as fast as I can heal your wounds. Beside, Hachi-san doesn't think you should go back just yet."

"Not go back?" she cried. "I have to go back. You don't understand, and I can't explain it, but I can honestly tell you… I have to go back." She paused for a moment, then smiled and leaned her head against the window again. "He must hate me."

"Haru-san, I'm sure he won't, not after you explain that you didn't betray Soul Society."

"Iie," she answered. "That, I'm certain he would forgive. He would probably hate me all the same, though, because I left him alone. All that grief he has suffered…" She heard the door to the warehouse open and glanced towards the ground. Hirako had returned; she could tell just by his reiatsu that he was on edge about something. Haru peered at Orihime for a moment, her eyes questioning.

"I'll leave it for him to tell you." The shield dissolved around her, and she withdrew. "Are you well enough to spend some time explaining things to him?"

"I imagine so." Orihime nodded and withdrew, leaving Haru alone for a moment. She peered out the window at the bleak sky. Autumn was definitely on its way out from the looks of things. It was a peaceful scene, peaceful yet desolate. It reminded her of the times to come, of the war she would probably have to fight in…

A moment later, she heard a loud expletive fly out of Hirako's mouth, and a moment later, he was standing directly in front of her, eyes bewildered and disbelieving, jaw hanging slightly agape in shock. Haru studied him for a moment with a puzzled look on her face, then smiled and tilted her head slightly. "Ohayou, Shinji-san."

"Ha… Haru…" he choked. She smiled gently, then peered at him with clear violet eyes. His expression changed from shock and relief to frustration and anger, which made her clutch her sword even tighter as he marched forward and knelt beside the futon she was resting on. His eyes came to rest only centimeters from hers, and Haru peered into them, obviously startled but not frightened in any manner of the word. "Ya aren't scared." Haru blinked, then smiled again.

"What reason would I have to fear you, Shinji-san?" She watched a tremor work its way through his shoulders before slowly, hesitantly, he dropped his forehead onto her shoulder. "Shinji-san?"

"I didn't think… ya were gonna wake up." His fingers curled around the covers. Haru let him remain like that as she turned her eyes towards the window again. For some reason, the world looked a little different than it had when she had left it. In two weeks, the color had drained right out of fall and was replaced by the frigid promise of winter. After a little while, Hirako withdrew and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand as if to rub the illusion away. She was still there, sitting up perfectly straight and gazing directly into his eyes.

"To be honest," she murmured, "when I came back, I wasn't sure if I would ever wake up, either. I worried you, though, and for that, I…"

"For the gods' sakes, spare me yer apology," he stammered, spreading a hand over his face and trying vainly to compose himself. "Nande? Why did ya leave? Why did ya turn yer back on Soul Society, on Karakura, on us? Weren't ya supposed to go and perform a soul burial?" Haru took a moment to process his questions and waited until he was peering at her through his fingers. His hazel eye was overbrimming with the agony of not knowing. "Say somethin', will ya?"

"It was pretense."

"Eh?"

"Leaving Soul Society to perform a Soul Burial on my grandfather… was nothing more than pretense. That man is healthy as a horse; he'll probably live for at least another decade… unless someone assassinates him."

"What are ya sayin'?"

"I'm saying that I left Soul Society to go to Hueco Mundo in the first place." Hirako stared blankly at her until she continued. Haru took a moment to shift her hand to her hip, which still hurt where she had been run through by Ulquiorra. She bent slightly and hissed, then straightened herself again, looking seriously into the vizard's eyes. "It was my plan all along… to fake my betrayal and go to Hueco Mundo. I called ojii-sama well in advance and asked him, on no uncertain terms, to fake his illness, and he did such a fantastic job of it that the entire estate was in an uproar. And even between all of that, he managed to provide me with the one thing I desperately needed to make this work: an alibi. You see, Shinji…" She leaned back and gazed at the ceiling, releasing a sigh before continuing. "I couldn't become a captain, not having left matters with Aizen unresolved. I couldn't take the risk of him interfering anymore than he already has. So, I decided to end things myself and challenge him directly… by pretending to betray Soul Society and go willingly to Hueco Mundo." Hirako's eyes widened at her statement, but they returned to normal size as her gaze dropped to him. "Are you with me so far?"

"I think so."

"Then I'll continue." Haru shifted her position a bit so that she was facing him more. When she shivered, Hirako immediately draped his coat around her shoulders, drawing a thankful smile out of her before she provided a further explanation. "Shortly after I was initially attacked, I began negotiating discretely with the sexta espada. Five minutes was all it ever took in some back alley in Soul Society, or in the dark hours of night here. I gained enough of his trust to convince him that I had betrayed Soul Society despite every action I took against them. He demanded that I come with him, and I managed to talk him into waiting for a time while I set matters in order here. That finally happened about two or three weeks ago, if I'm not mistaken."

"But _why_?" Hirako stammered, resting his hands on her shoulders and shaking her slightly. "Why would you fake a betrayal?"

"Because it was more convenient. If Soul Society knew I was on some kind of infiltration mission, the buzz would quickly make its way to Aizen's ears, and I would have been killed on the spot, or worse, turned into my mother." Haru trembled visibly at her own remark, but despite the troubled look in her eyes, she continued. "The only three people who knew were Soutaichou-sama, ojii-sama, and my vice captain, Fujiwara Takumi. He followed his orders to the letter, I see. Still, the fact that I'm supposedly dead complicates thing."

"Haru, you're avoiding the question. Why did ya leave in the first place? Why would ya put yerself through all that grief, not to mention the pain of those ya left behind…"

"Shinji," she interrupted. "Do you think you could hand me my violin case?" He obeyed without question, setting it down in front of her as he dropped to his knees.

"What? I didn't know ya still played."

"I seldom do," she answered, "but I recall promising you a souvenir before I left." She opened the back of the case, and after a moment of rifling, she managed to find what she was looking for. She tossed it at Hirako, who juggled it back and forth for a moment before pausing to examine it.

"What the hell?"

"Like it? I just happened to pick it up while I was in Hueco Mundo… after leaving a decoy, of course."

"Decoy?"

"Ojii-sama, despite being an evil bastard, is capable of some interesting things, such as producing a nearly exact replica of the hougyoku. Not bad for a fifteen-year-old, hmm?"

"Yer outta yer damn mind!" he shouted, causing Haru to laugh slightly. His anger faded when he realized her reaction, and a relieved grin came over his face. "That aside, I'm happy yer safe, and ya seem pretty well despite the hell ya went through getting back."

"Forget that. It's the hell I went through while I was there that bothers me." Haru pressed a hand to her head and let a grim look wash over her. "I think I may have killed over two hundred arrancar on my way out. They weren't ranked or anything, but still… the fact that I took down so many and was still able to escape, even after I was attacked by the cuatra espada…"

"Is he the one that did that to ya?" Hirako gestured towards Haru's hip and caused her to nod.

"Most of the major damage I received was inflicted by him. I had a few minor cuts from the others. That must be where I picked up the poison." Haru paused and peered out the window again. "Neh… Shinji…"

"Hmm?"

"Do you… find it at all disturbing that I was able to expend that much energy with my reiatsu limited to ten percent?"

"Only ten, eh?" He considered it for a moment, peering at the gem in his hand, gazing through it at Haru, and creating a whole army of her as if she were in some kaleidoscope.

"It may have been more at that point. Aizen slipped me some kind of drug that was aimed at weakening my limiters, so I'm not really sure how much I was really using."

"It had to have been ten."

"How do you know?"

"'Cause when Mashiro and Liza undressed ya, I asked 'em to check the limiter on yer back, and they said it was still there, still indigo, and cool to the touch."

"Then…" Haru gritted her teeth and leered at the ground. "Then was it a placebo?"

"I don't know, but just to be safe, I'm gonna recommend you not do a lot of heavy duty fightin' until yer all recovered. Got it?"

"I can't do that."

"Eh?"

"I have to fight," Haru answered. "I need you to do something for me, Shinji."

"Nani?"

"I need you… to be my sparring partner."

"Are ya nuts? Ya can barely sit up!"

"I wasn't saying immediately," Haru stated. "Still, it will be sooner than you like." Hirako shifted his eyes uneasily to the sky outside.

"Why're ya askin' me this?" She sighed and peered at him.

"Ignis solus."

"Eh?"

"It is Latin. You will understand when we begin."

"What're ya thinkin', Haru?"

"I am wondering if I can even conjure up the memory of the second risen form, let alone the third. Still, that name… I can't forget that name again, not even if I tried." She peered at Hirako for a moment, studying his expression before dropping her gaze. "Do you think… you could get me something to eat? It doesn't have to be much, but I feel hungry."

"Sure thing. Would you like tea?"

"As long as it's green. Oh, and hold the medication, please. I'll take anything that Hachi-san thinks will help without you having to slip it into anything."

"What about this?" He extended his hand and opened it, showing her the hougyouku that looked so much like the decoy. For a moment, a wave of panic struck her, and she wondered if she had really taken it or if she had simply conjured up the whole memory. She smiled and closed his hand around it.

"For now, we should keep it here. I will take it to Urahara-sensei myself once the time is right." Hirako nodded and set the object back in the violin case, which Haru closed and set aside. "This feeling," she murmured, touching the ring beneath her yukata again. Though Hirako had already began walking away, he paused when her words fluttered to his ears. He glanced back to find her fiddling with something under her yukata. There was a gleam in her eyes he had never seen before, something that spoke of a different sort of power. "Souka… I get it now." She smiled and bowed her head before pulling her sword out of her sheath.

"Haru-sama, matte!" Before he even finished his sentence, the blade had passed through her hair, leaving just enough to hang an inch or so past her shoulders. The rest, she set aside as she turned her head to Hirako, who stared blankly at her for a moment. "Nande?"

"Because today, I am a captain." Haru smiled and raised her head, noting that it felt so much lighter now. Calmly, she sheathed her sword and bowed to it. "I will be sending that to my grandfather as proof that I've married the Gotei 13. If he has a problem with it, then so be it." She paused and peered at him for a moment. "Did you just call me… Haru-sama?"

"Hell, no!" he shouted before disappearing. Haru tilted her head again, then smiled and leaned against the window, pulling Hirako's coat tightly about her shoulders. For some reason, it didn't bother her as much as it would have before. It could have been her willingness to embrace whatever power she earned or the fact that she had finally relinquished every bit of care she possessed regarding her status in the Yamashita family. More than anything else, though, she thought it was the captainhood burning deep inside her, a flame that had flickered before but had never really blazed until the moment she had been faced with escaping.

* * *

><p>The meal was hectic, not because everyone was eating, but because everyone was hurling questions at her a mile a minute while she was trying to ingest her own food. Haru tried to smile politely every time another rushed at her, but she really couldn't process it all at once. It got to the point that she began to feel lightheaded and weary, but it was a good weariness, a good lightheadedness. She was among allies again. "Oi, oi! Give her some air, will ya?" Hirako suggested. "Yer gonna make her overexert herself, and then, she'll be back asleep before ya know it." Haru allowed herself to laugh after she swallowed, mostly at his overprotective tendencies, and tossed her gaze to her companion.<p>

"Yare, yare… here I am again, creating a stir."

"You always do," Kensei retorted.

"Sumimasen. I promise I don't try to…"

"Iie," he interrupted. "I'm just glad to see you in one piece. After Shinji brought you back, we all had doubts, but you're just like your father in that sense… too reckless to live, too stubborn to die." Haru smiled again and continued indulging but took special care in consuming the tea. She indulged in every trace of flavor drifting through the fluid. She even added a bit of honey, something she didn't customarily do but something that she enjoyed the flavor of.

"Neh, Haru-chan…" Mashiro said, suddenly appearing behind her shoulder and gingerly handling a lock of her hair. "Nande…"

"Because it is customary for new captains to do something unusual when they are first inducted."

"What makes you say you're a captain?" Love inquired.

"It was the agreement before I left Soul Society. If I made it back, then I would be promoted to captain."

"Ya mean to say the soutaichou had somethin' to do with this whole thing?" Hiyori demanded.

"Hai," she answered, setting her tea aside for a moment. After indulging in one sip of broth and clearing her throat, Haru smoothed the blankets over her lap and peered at her reflection in the bowl. "I needed to make sure someone influential in Soul Society understood the magnitude of this deception. Byakuya-sama… well, I couldn't stomach the thought of worrying him so much, so I simply decided to rely on other sources. I asked him for orders before I left, orders to retrieve the hougyouku from Hueco Mundo. The agreement was that if I returned safely in less than two weeks, I would be made a captain. Unfortunately…" Her voice trailed off momentarily. "My sorry condition sort of interfered with his immediate notification. I sent him a hell butterfly a few hours ago. Now, all I can do is wait to hear back."

"And the others?" Rose asked. "What of them?"

"For now, I feel it is best to keep my survival as low key as possible. Of course, as soon as I am able to cross the distance between here and Urahara's shop, I will be taking him what is rightfully his." She was careful to allude to it rather than speaking its name again. For some reason, it left a bad taste in her mouth. "Ojii-sama will receive notification by post in a few days."

"Did you write him a letter?"

"Iie," she said to Liza, running her fingers along one lock of her hair. "Let's just say I sent him something better, something that should elucidate my intentions entirely."

"Why did you cut your hair, then?"

"Because the women of the Yamashita clan are not supposed to until they are married, and knowing how much Byakuya-sama enjoys it, I won't be cutting it even then. I thought I would take this opportunity, just to see what it was like. Besides, if it pisses Ojii-sama off at all, I will consider the effort a success." She sipped her tea thoughtfully before setting her cup aside and casting her eyes at the sunset. They immediately grew doleful and distant, and they remained so as they peered to Hiyori, who refused to even look at her. "I've explained things to you as clearly as possible. Now, permit me to ask you something." Bewildered, they fell to a hush. Mashiro remained at her shoulder, pouting slightly as Haru peered at her briefly and then let her eyes wander off. "Orihime-san alluded to some… misfortune that I am supposed to ask you directly about. However, she gave me no clue as to what it could be."

"What are you talkin' about, Haru? Nothin's wrong, not at all," Hirako reassured her. Haru cast him one of her dark looks, then turned back to the sunset.

"You say that, but your eyes tell me otherwise. Something has happened." The certainty in her words caused every trace of joy and curiosity to leave the room, and each expression grew slightly more serious as Haru's eyes sought theirs out. Love pretended to be interested in the wall, whereas Rose, unfortunate enough to be gazing at her at the time, had to throw his gaze hastily to the ground. "Shinji…"

"I ain't tellin' you nothin'."

"Nande?" she demanded, her tone so sharp that it likely had the capability to cut something. "What is it that you don't want me to know? When I left here, I was hoping I could return and somehow mend my trust. Is that becoming an issue?"

"It ain't got nothin' to do with trust." Hiyori was the one who spoke. She gave the words in a dejected tone, and though she raised her head, she still avoided Haru's eyes. "It's the hollow that's got him tongue-tied."

"Hiyori…" he threatened, "it ain't good for her health to be worryin' about some minor issues with…"

"Minor?" Hiyori shouted the word at such a volume that it reverberated off the walls and through the empty silence. "You call the hell Ichigo's been puttin' up with minor? And what about Soul Society?"

"Hiyori, that's enough," Hachi said firmly, but she persisted.

"They got it just as bad, if what he says is right, and it ain't like I give one flyin' shit about Soul Society, but Haru…"

"Hiyori!" She raised her eyes for a moment to glimpse a startled Haru, who could tell immediately that she had been crying, then dropped them again. Haru forced the lump down her throat and raised a hand to the ring that was concealed beneath her clothes.

"You say… the hollow infestation… has been bad?"

"You weren't supposed to know, Haru," Kensei stated. "At least not yet."

"It isn't like we wanted to lie," Rose put in. "We just… thought it would be best to wait, for your health's sake."

"That's a polite way of saying we didn't want you doing anything reckless," Liza interjected.

"Well, I was trying to use more tact, but…"

"Kuso." Haru almost whispered the word, but it was just loud enough to be perceived by their ears. "Kuso," she said again, clenching her fist and throwing a glare at the wall. "I should have known better."

"Neh, Haru-chan…" Mashiro murmured, gently touching her shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"I should have known better than to trust that two-timing bastard. I said I would give him my allegiance… in exchange for the safety of this place. To know that he has been attacking it in my absence…" She raised her fist to thrust it against the wall but stopped short. In the silence that followed, her cross jingled loudly on her wrist, then fell to a stationary position. She smiled and pressed a hand to her forehead, peering momentarily at her reflection in the now dark glass. She was surprised at how pale she looked, as if she hadn't seen the light of day for weeks, and she noted that she looked a little thinner than she had when she had departed. The most troubling thing, though, was the hollow look in her eyes. She hadn't realized it before, but something inside was different, something that captainhood couldn't cure. With an acrid smile, she glanced back to the vizard. "And to think that the promise was false for the both of us. It's a little frightening… how much I can be like him sometimes…"

Haru bit back a hiss of pain as a sudden pressure flew against her hip, which had begun to heal thanks to Orihime but had not been entirely mended due to Hirako's interruption. "H… Hiyori-san…" she stammered.

"You're nothin' like him!" The certainty she spoke those words with caused Haru to shudder. She peered towards the dishes and sighed in thanks that they were mostly empty and that she, by some turn of fortune's hand, had managed somehow not to knock them or Mashiro over. "Yeah, you're both powerful, and you're both smart as hell, but you've got something he'll never have…" She would have continued, but she was overwrought with joy and the weight of all that sorrow she had suffered when Haru left her behind. With an understanding smile, Haru bowed her head and rested her hands on Hiyori's shoulders.

"Can we have a moment?" The other vizard understood. Haru thanked Mashiro as she took her chopsticks and bowl, requested that she leave the tea, and listened to the sounds of departure. Hachi recommended that she get some rest as soon as possible, considering that her body was still in a relatively weakened condition. Haru responded with a nod of understanding and gave him one last smile before he, too, disappeared. "Alright. They're gone," Haru stated, patting the back of Hiyori's head. She responded with a sniffle, which caused Haru to smile even wider and then resume her observation of the scene beyond the window. After a few moments, she retrieved her tea and slowly drank the last dredges. "You know," she murmured, "I honestly don't think I would have minded if Shinji and the others had kept the hollow bit from me. The way I am now, I can't do anything about it."

"Demo…"

"It's okay," she said firmly. "I've done enough for now. I can content myself with that." Hiyori seemed reassured at her statement and sank against Haru's stationary form. She let out a strained gasp and flinched, but she wasn't about to make the vizard move. "After all, everyone has held up this long without my direct interference. I trust they can last a little longer."

"Haru." She glanced at Hiyori, who lifted her head and, for once, did not refuse to show Haru her tears. "I don't want ya to leave again."

"Not even if I swear I'll come back?"

"Ya didn't leave me that promise last time. All ya swore was that yer loyalty belonged to Soul Society."

"And you believed me?"

"Of course."

"Even after I left?"

"Even when I was pissed that ya left." Haru smiled and wrapped a hand around her sword before propping it against her shoulder and staring past her reflection at the stars beyond.

"Arigato. I needed to hear that." She didn't object when Hiyori's head descended, nor did she make any attempt to rid herself of the vizard when she dozed off. She simply stared past her own tired eyes to the growing moon and wondered if Byakuya was also gazing at it.

* * *

><p>Before anyone gets anxious, fret not. There's PLENTY more where this came from. I may or may not have gotten a little overzealous with this project. Here's a JapaneseLatin lesson as an end-cap to the first of several (re: multiple) chapters.

Yare, yare: Well, well

Gomenne: Apology of sorts

Kuso: Japanese swear word.

Nande: Why

Baka: Stupid

Ano: Japanese equivalent of "um."

Chikusho: More Japanese swear word.

Iie: No

Daijoubu desu ka: Are you alright

Gomenasai: Slightly more formal apology.

Betsuni: Nothing

Sumimasen: Another variant of apology.

Urusai: Shut up

Matte: Wait

Chibi honoo: Little flame, another of Grimmjow's nicknames for Haru.

Tadaima: I'm back.

Souka: I see

Ohayou: Good morning.

Nani: What

Ignis solus: Latin for "Lone flame," at least according to Google, etc. I'm not going to spoil anything more than that right now. =)

Hai: Yes

Demo: But

As always, reviews are not required, but they may encourage me to post... and feed the ego that has been crushed by graduate coursework. Again, thanks for all your support. Until the next chapter~


	2. Chapter 2: Gratitude

A/N: Hello again, everyone! Turtlechow here, alive, well, and back from an urban excursion. Why, you ask? Because she scored an interview with a company that may send her to the coveted Japan! And I feel like I did really well despite the chaos of everything from timing to buying a train ticket back to random urban city visitation barf to taxi rides to… well… you get the picture. ^_^ I'll know my fate in 10 days… fingers are crossed, breaths are held, and deities are being petitioned across the religious board by my respective friends of faiths. And even if I don't get hired, I can reapply and interview again in March, so I'm not too concerned. I was just happy to have the opportunity.

With the semester winding down, I can probably only promise one more chapter before December, but I'll do my best to finish and post it around the time I find out about my job.

As per usual, I extend my utmost gratitude to my readers, favoriters, stalkers, etc. etc., but by name to my glorious reviewers, whose outstanding response has prompted this impromptu update: metsfan101, yukichan10, ladydeath100, NAO-chan33, AnimeGurl9871, lostfeather, and ThorongilAnime. Hugs and Thanksgiving well wishes to you all! I know my fan base is one of the many things I am thankful for. =)

Without further ado, it is my pleasure to present chapter 2! I hope it meets your expectations. Enjoy! ^_^

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 2: Gratitude<em>

Haru stirred and opened her eyes, expecting to see some sign of the approaching day. Instead, she found a horrifyingly intense darkness, one that caused her to panic momentarily and sit up despite her vague awareness that she was still injured. Yet that was in the world beyond her mind. Here in the void, only logic reigned. Here, she witnessed fragments of memory without being haunted. Still, she found herself feeling unusually anxious for some reason. After rising to her feet, she paced across the emptiness of her unconsciousness, pausing every now and then to whirl about in search of her zanpakutoh's avatar. The only thing she ever caught sight of, however, was her own white shadow and the vast emptiness around her.

"Suzaku," she murmured, releasing a troubled sigh. "Where are you?" She shut her eyes and tried to sense her zanpakutoh, but the place felt entirely empty. With a sinking feeling, she opened her eyes and, without knowing what good it would do, called her sword's name into the emptiness. Only the lonely echo of her call answered, which left her feeling more hollow than ever. Haru drew another breath and tried not to panic, but it was difficult, being alone in a place as dark and empty as her own consciousness. She began forward again, peering over her shoulder between her shouts.

When she felt she could neither yell nor walk no more, Haru sank down into a kneeling position, not agonized but more or less wearied by the effort. She peered at her own shadow before bowing her head as that solitude threatened to crush her composure. Her hand trembled as it curled into a fist, and without her even realizing it, several tears had streamed down her face and dropped against her white shadow. "Suzaku," she whispered, surprised at the vulnerable sound of her own tone. Immediately, Haru concluded that Szayel had done something to her sword, something diabolical beyond measure, and that made her reach for the wooden sword at her side. She pulled it free of her obi and peered at it for a moment before taking it and both hands and pressing its surface against her forehead. The fear was unspeakable, or it would have been if she had been awake. Instead, only a trace of fury and sorrow made it through, just enough to make her contemplate a bloody revenge. She clutched the sword until her knuckles turned white, then bowed her head and let a single sob escape her.

_You shouldn't think things like that, Haru-sama. _

"Suzaku?" she inquired, peering up suddenly. Sure enough, the bird's form hovered over her shadow, which had at some point ignited in the area surrounding her. Haru stood and clutched her weapon as she gazed at the bird, whose form seemed relatively translucent considering their location. "Suzaku… what… what's happening to you?" The phoenix said nothing for a moment; she merely drifted in the air before folding her wings and perching on a tongue of white flame that raced up under her feet. All the while, she peered dolefully at her wielder, whose fretful eyes demanded an answer of one form or another. When she looked away, Haru's heart sank and she took one step forward. "Suzaku, onegai… I'd rather receive bad news than no news at all. I can't be left guessing. Even if it's something serious, then please tell me."

"Not… serious, so much as inconvenient." Suzaku peered at Haru and spread her wings. "Your body is healing."

"That's a good sign."

"It would be if your reiatsu were following suit." Haru glanced at the hovering, translucent bird and held the sword in her hands with more force. "The combination of the substances Aizen gave you in Hueco Mundo may or may not have had an unexpected reaction. Although it didn't loosen your limiters, it did stop your reiatsu from regenerating. Hence, even though you were only at ten percent the whole time you were there…"

"I was losing reiatsu every day without regaining my output."

"Indeed," Suzaku answered. "It was for that reason that you slept for as long as you did. It was for that same reason that you can run and not suppose anything is wrong."

"Suzaku," Haru said suddenly, clutching the sword. "Ano… the substances you mentioned before… will they… keep me from regaining reiatsu forever?" The phoenix gazed at her. "If that's the case, then my time as a shinigami will mean even more to me, and you need to tell me whether or not this chapter of my life is about to close so I can prepare for it." Her fist flexed and her eyes burned, but she suddenly shook her head. "Iie… I'm not willing to give it up. I can't give it up, not now that I've surpassed the sun." Haru's eyes shot towards the bird. "You said you would give me power to protect my precious world, but more importantly, you've been with me ever since I lost my mother. You're a part of me, and I'll never give you up, even if it's selfish."

"Haru-sama…"

"We either live together or die together. I don't really care which it is."

"Haru-sama, don't say such reckless things."

"Demo!" She bowed her head and tightened her grasp on the sword, staring at her white shadow and quivering slightly despite her best efforts to remain composed and logical. "Suzaku, without you, I've got no life left to live. I have Byakuya-sama, yes, but I wouldn't be satisfied with a dependent existence. That's why I need you to stay with me… until my will finally burns out, until my bones turn to dust, until the last breath escapes my lips and my eyes gaze their last gaze…" Haru lifted her head and gazed at her zanpakutoh. "Stay with me." The phoenix, though fading, fluttered towards her wielder, settling on the handle of the sword and shutting her azure eyes.

"In truth," Suzaku answered, "your reiatsu has been regenerating, but not as quickly as it needs to. Something is about to happen, something that you will need to be ready for. I can feel it, and so can you. In order for you to be ready for it…"

"What?" Haru said quietly. "If it's bad, just tell me."

"I have to be reborn." Haru drew a slow breath and glanced up at the phoenix. "You won't lose your forms, but to go further than you have already. To gain the second and third risen forms, I have to become dormant for three days. During this time, your reiatsu should recover to its prior level since it won't be sustaining my physical manifestation. However…"

"However?"

"I'm worried that the time will come before the end that you find yourself going through the same thing." Haru shifted slightly and swallowed. "For someone like me, the process is rather straightforward. I burst into flames and take almost every sign of my existence with me. Then, I come back, altered but with the same power level. You will come close to the edge of death, closer than you have already, by your own devices, and through that, you will attain an even greater power."

"What makes you say all of that?"

"I know you well enough to know that you are the kind of person who would take such measures." Haru smiled slightly. "When that happens, Haru-sama, I don't want you to be afraid. You'll come back from it, but I fear you may not be the same person you were before."

"Isn't it natural for things and people to change, though?"

"The trouble is…" Suzaku lifted her wings. "The trouble is, neither you nor I know how you will change. Are you ready to face that prospect, Haru-sama? Not today, and not tomorrow, but some time soon… will you be ready to face your true self?" Haru's eyes fell shut, and she felt the sword in her hands grow warm. Her eyes rose, surprisingly firm in the darkness that surrounded them.

"Hai," she answered. "I will accept any consequence, Suzaku, because I believe in you, and I believe, what's more, that I am…" Her last words were swallowed up by the gentle roar of the flame. As Suzaku's avatar turned to dust, the sword in her hands blazed without burning her. The flames, however, swallowed all sign of blackness, leaving her immersed in a white flame. As she peered into it, she caught a glimpse of a shadow, something that was definitely not white like the remainder of her surroundings. She reached for it and seized whatever it was with her fingertips, felt its softness. As Haru drew it closer, she raised it to her eyes and examined it, turning it over with curiosity, watching it disappear seemingly. "This is…" She shut her eyes for a moment against the blinding light, reveling in how her heart was racing, at the bittersweet cocktail of elation and sorrow.

Haru opened her eyes to give it a second glance, just to make sure what she saw was real, but she found herself immersed not in an unending white but in the weight of consciousness and in the faint golden glow of the rising sun. Startled, she sat up and peered to her left, where Hiyori's head still rested against her leg. With a sigh, Haru rearranged Hirako's coat around the sleeping girl, who stirred slightly before falling entirely still again. Sighing, she lifted her father's old cross to the rising light, and, noticing the change in it, leaned against the window with a grim yet hopeful smile.

* * *

><p>When noon came and went, Hirako decided it was time to check on Haru. There hadn't been a peep out of either the shinigami or the vizard since the previous evening, which relieved him in one sense because it could mean they were merely resting. At the same time, a plethora of dark thoughts surfaced in his consciousness, thoughts that involved Haru wandering off somewhere or, worse still, releasing her still precarious clutch on life. It wasn't customary for Haru to sleep that late, and even Hiyori usually woke up by that point unless she was exhausted, and she was from all that emotional grief over Haru's betrayal, which grew worse when the shinigami had returned in such a sorry condition. He still remembered her insistence that every cut in her skin was evidence enough of what side she was on. Sometimes, Hiyori's faith in Haru surprised him, yet in the same moment, he wished he could be that confident in her motives.<p>

He entered the warehouse with his hands in his pockets, drawing a breath of the stale air and pacing through the rows of sunlight descending from the square windows above. He leapt up towards them and walked the perimeter until he found them, Haru sitting in much the same position he had left her in, Hiyori leaning against her leg and releasing an occasional breath to demonstrate that her torpor was merely unconsciousness. When he drew near enough, Haru turned to him and released a sigh. "Well, ya look well rested, Haru-sama."

"I am. Perhaps that's why I feel restless," she murmured faintly, peering at Hiyori and stroking the back of her head. "It could just be because I'm not used to the idea of sleeping here yet, or that my body isn't used to the idea of consciousness, but if I had to wager a true guess, I would say the chief contributor to my overall anxiety is the fact that I can only sit and do nothing while I feel these hollows shifting around."

"Well, ya can tell me where they're at, and I'll go take care of them."

"Please… you detest shinigami. You said so yourself."

"I ain't doin' it for them."

"I also recall you saying that you had similar sentiments towards human beings if I am not mistaken." Haru's eyes betrayed her desire to hide the pity she felt towards him.

"Ya don't need to feel bad about it, Haru. There ain't nothin' you can do about it."

"Iie," Haru murmured. "While your fate seems highly deplorable, I don't pity you for what you are, Shinji-san. I only wish you would utilize your existence for something slightly more useful than hatred." His eyes grew serious as he crouched down beside her, leaning forward and peering beyond the glass that Haru was peering beyond. "That training… will have to wait a little while."

"Hell, yeah it will. I ain't takin' a chance of puttin' you back in that state." She gave him a weak smile, then dropped her eyes momentarily before peering out the window again.

"Is this all I can do, Shinji? Sit here and watch?" He watched her fist clenched the blanket and tremble slightly before stilling. "It is so difficult… knowing how much danger my inability to fight is putting everyone else in."

"Then that gives ya all the more reason to get better." He placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder, drawing her startled eyes in a dark look that spoke volumes beyond which she could formulate words.

"What if it isn't fast enough? What if I lose someone because of the delay?"

"You keep speakin' of this delay, and for some reason, I'm startin' to think it ain't all health related." Haru nodded slowly and folded her hands, allowing her gaze to fall. "Just be patient. It'll be alright."

"Shinji…"

"If the hollow are buggin' ya, I'll just have to go take care of them myself, since it seems like Ichigo and his comrades ain't exactly gettin' the job done." Haru reached out and clutched his sleeve, causing him to turn back and face the full magnitude of her wild trepidation. He took a moment to truly study her, to see how frail she had become. She still had his coat wound around her shoulders like some kind of haori, and the ends of her hair drifted several inches past her shoulders as she leaned forward. There seemed to be something else in her eyes in that moment, a profound guilt that he could not even begin to guess the origins of.

"Shinji, I…"

"Oi," he murmured, placing a hand on the top of her head. "Ya ain't gonna cry on me, are ya? Come on, Haru… if somethin's buggin' ya, then tell me." Only then did he notice the object hanging from the hand that was gripping his sleeve. His eyes locked on it, then grew to nearly twice their normal size as he struggled to pick up his jaw and say something. He finally managed a vociferous "What the hell?" that made Hiyori jerk up and rub what sleep Hirako hadn't obliterated away from her eyes. She then proceeded to thrust a foot into the center of his forehead and knock him from his current position all the way to the ground level.

"Dumb ass!" she shouted down at him. "Some people are tryin' to sleep here!" Haru scurried up from her bed and wrapped the coat around her shoulders before peering down at him.

"Shinji-san! Daijoubu desu ka?" After five full seconds, he let his feet drop to the floor and shot to a sitting position.

"What the hell are ya askin' me that for when yer obviously not?"

"Eh?" she asked, raising her arm and peering at the cross. "Oh, that."

"What the hell do ya mean 'oh, that'?" With a sigh, Haru crouched at the end of the ledge before flashing out of sight and reappearing next to Hirako. "Oi… lay the hell back down!"

"Gomen, but I can't. I'm stiff enough as it is. Do you think we can take a walk?"

"Not to Urahara's shop?"

"Iie… I was thinking around the basement." Hiyori appeared beside her and thrust another foot against Hirako's face, throwing him onto his back and against a wall.

"The hell was that for?" he shouted, sitting up and vainly trying to hide the blood dripping from his nose.

"It's 'cause I can't kick her! That's what!"

"Hiyori-san, I would appreciate it if you refrained from kicking him again," Haru chided.

"Who the hell're you to give me orders?"

"It was merely a request," she stated, pacing forward and extending a hand to Hirako, who hesitated before taking it. "Come on. I'm not as frail as I look right now." Haru put a hand on her uninjured hip and whirled to Hiyori. "You look pretty docile when you sleep, you know… if only you would behave like that all the time."

"Urusai!" she retorted, forgetting her promise not to exact violence towards Haru and attempting to slam a foot against her face. Haru moved hastily around it and then proceeded to straighten her yukata, which was slightly looser than she would have liked.

"Yare, yare…" she sighed, pressing a hand to her head. "Hiyori-san, would you mind giving me a moment with Shinji? I need to explain some things to him."

"Whatever the hell ya can say to him, ya can say to me."

"Hiyori-san…"

"Ain't ya kept enough secrets?" she demanded. Guiltily, Haru dropped her eyes to the floor and wrapped the coat more tightly around her.

"You're right," Haru murmured. "This is probably something… you both need to know." Haru paced towards the stair case and descended, followed closely by a bewildered Hiyori and an anxious Hirako. Though they argued the whole way down, they were in agreement on one point: whatever Haru was about to tell them was probably not to the benefit of her health. She was expending too much energy, moving around the way she was as if all of her injuries had been healed and her reiatsu entirely restored. Still, the more they insisted that Haru return to her bed, the greater effort she put forth to ignore them. Finally, she whirled to them both with her hands on her hips and a fiery determination lighting her eyes. "Do you honestly think laying around is the best thing for me? I've done that for nearly nine days, and where has that gotten me?" They conceded the point, not wanting to incur any more of her wrath than they had already, for they both possessed an acute awareness of how much frustration Haru really possessed at the moment, and if she happened to express every ounce of it verbally, then they would likely never get to the point.

She stopped suddenly and tilted her head upwards, examining the sky thoughtfully before reaching out for it, encompassing the false sun with her hands, a sun that felt warm despite not being genuine, and finally lowered them with a sigh before turning two them. "I can't really explain everything, but Suzaku has gone into a complete state of dormancy."

"Dormancy?"

"Hai," Haru answered, folding her hands. "She is reforming the power from the bottom so that I can better acquire the second and third risen form."

"How long is that gonna take?" Hirako demanded. Haru set a finger to her chin and peered up in thought.

"A few days, probably… a week at most. Still…" She smiled and bowed her head. "Are you certain… you don't want me to leave?"

"Why the hell would we?"

"Because…" She shifted her eyes and rubbed her foot against the grass, still green despite the change in seasons that had occurred above them. "I'm something you detest."

"What're you even talkin' about?" Hiyori demanded.

"Before I woke up," she murmured, "I think… I saw my reiraku."

"Ain't that a good thing?" Haru smiled and nodded, happy that it gave her something more definite to work with than what she had in the past. At the same time, she couldn't forget their constant declarations that they detested, and would always detest, the ones that had so callously refused to help them. "Eh, Haru? What's wrong?"

"You hate shinigami, don't you?" She clenched her fist and bowed her head. "That must mean you hate me."

"Oi!" Hiyori shouted. "Don't ya dare cry on me, Haru. Ya hear me? I'll kick yer ass so bad, yer own sensei won't even recognize ya!"

"De… demo…" Hirako paced forward and set a hand on her head, causing her to peer up at him with bewildered, tear-filled eyes.

"Yare, yare… yer so emotional. Of course, yer probably too tired to have one ounce of care about keepin' yer composure. Even so, I'd like to see ya smile again, Haru-sama." She enclosed his wrist with trembling fingers and bowed even lower. "Oi, ya forget already?"

"Forget… what?"

"Ya said ya'd never be bound by society's lines. Are ya gonna start now?" She peered at him quizzically, then to Hiyori, who crossed her arms with a huff. Her eyes returned to Hirako as he began to speak. "I said it before, I'll say it again. Yer like family, Haru… an honorary vizard. Ya got no mask, not like ours, but ya still gotta wear one, considering yer standing, not to mention, even if ya are a shinigami, ya still got powers that're true to yer quincy heritage." He grinned and moved his hand back and forth, startled that she was compliant, as she never had been in her younger years. "I don't reckon this changes anythin', eh, Hiyori?"

"Speak for yerself," she retorted, crossing her arms. "If ya ask me, it only makes her more like a vizard, considerin' her mixed power…"

"So, maybe it does change some things," he replied, grinning again, "but yer place here… that's never gonna change." Haru peered at him for a moment, then dropped her eyes with a faint smile as the tears broke free of their prison.

"Arigato, Shinji-san… for saying what you have."

"Think nothin' of it," he responded, pausing before pressing down slightly harder on her head. "And you… shinigami or whatever, I don't really give a damn, but quit makin' me say sappy stuff."

"Shi… Shinji-san…"

"Got it? I'm tired of embarrassin' myself reassurin' ya. Would it kill ya to humor me just once and let yerself feel a little better?" Haru peered up at him, her eyes still glimmering, and nodded solemnly. Content with her silent response, Hirako removed his hand from her head and slid both his hands into his pockets. "This zanpakutoh thing seems pretty unique to me. Maybe Urahara-san can tell us somethin'. We'll go see him in a couple of days, once yer well enough. Until then, don't fret about it."

"Oi, Shinji, where ya goin'?"

"On a walk. I'll be back. Watch her while I'm gone." Haru dried her eyes and stared after him. Unlike Hiyori, who had still been asleep at that point, she knew the hidden meaning behind those words, and the fact that anyone would go through such pains for her, even if he was a vizard who openly declared his hatred for shinigami, brought a smile to her face.

"Haru." The voice drew her gaze, and she realized she was clutching the only trace of Byakuya she had tightly in her hand. She tilted her head and laughed slightly before tucking it away again. The memory of the metal pressing against her hand remained, even after the sensation itself was gone.

"It was a gift," she explained. Hiyori nearly began demanding things, but Haru whirled about with the strangest look on her face, one that was nostalgic and longing, yet overjoyed and bittersweet. It was something that she just couldn't understand because there was no identifying it… the smile on Haru's face and the light shimmering in her eyes seemed to foil one another, and just when Hiyori thought she had the darker of the two figured out, she would second guess herself. Just as her hair fell stationary, Haru took off at a dead run across the grass, bolting past Hiyori before she could even process the movement.

"Oi! Haru! Matte!"

"Why would I wait for anything? I've spent days waiting already!"

"Ya shouldn't be runnin' in yer condition! Come on! Knock it off!"

"If you want me to stop, you'll have to catch me!" she replied. The moment Hiyori appeared next to her, Haru vaulted ahead, sprinting across the grass and relishing the feeling of it under her bare feet, but not for long. Hiyori was beside her again. She flashed ahead after passing her companion a determined smile and suddenly found herself laughing, even though it made breathing slightly more difficult. She spread her arms out and closed her eyes for a moment, imagining that she was soaring through the endless blue sky overhead, false though it was, and gazing down on everything below. _I suppose this has its advantages, _she thought as she leapt forward again. _I miss Suzaku terribly, but with her physical form broken down, my reiatsu will be able to recover more quickly. _The cross on her wrist jingled as she threw her arm forward. _At this rate, I will be well enough in only a few days to deliver the hougyoku to sensei. Still… _Haru bolted before Hiyori could even catch fully up with her. _Still… is it wise to return it to him? Isn't that was Aizen will expect, even if he has a perfectly convincing counterfeit to keep himself amused with?_

Haru peered to the left just in time to see Hiyori lunge for her. For an instant, that same determined look came over her face, and she swiveled around the vizard's reach. Moments later, Hiyori was face down in the dirt, and Haru, with an innocent smile, came to a stop. Her yukata settled around her, and her hair swayed gently. She was out of breath, but she knew she could still keep running despite the dull pain that suddenly emerged in her hip. "Hiyori-san, daijoubu desu ka?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" the girl roared as she sat up and thrust a finger at Haru. "I should be askin' you that!"

"Sumimasen," she murmured in reply, smiling and laughing as Hiyori furiously wiped the dirt from her face. She paused as Haru's hand crossed her line of vision. "I guess… I'm just happy to be alive is all." Hiyori tentatively accepted the hand and bowed gratefully when Haru helped her to her feet. She smiled and nearly said something, then shook her head with a sad smile.

"What's with that look?"

"Iie… betsuni." She couldn't very well tell Hiyori that she missed Soul Society and its various inhabitants, not after running nearly a mile and a half at full speed. Still, as she fell backwards onto the grass and set about examining the false clouds overhead, her thoughts lingered on the half-truth she had presented, but more strongly on those she had left behind, on the one she would one day make her vice captain and on the man she knew full well she owed a very heavy answer to.

* * *

><p>"Kuchiki-taichou, I'm going now." He made a sound that signified his acknowledgement without even glancing up from his paperwork. Takumi frowned as he studied the Kuchiki hunched over his desk, his eyes betraying his mask of composure. As expected, the news of Haru's death had its adverse effects on him. Exhaustion, fatigue, reticence, and that unbearable amplification of everything that Takumi couldn't stand about him in the first place. For a moment, he stared at his hand on the door, then decisively shut it.<p>

"Leave," Byakuya said firmly. "I do not feel like putting up with you today."

"Sumimasen, Kuchiki-taichou," he answered, "but when I feel like I need to say something, I usually do it, regardless of how the listener feels."

"As I well know," he retorted without looking up. "However, you are forgetting your place. You are merely a seventh seat, and I am, for the time being, strapped with the highly exasperating task of being your captain."

"Well, sorry for the inconvenience, taichou." He said the word with a considerable amount of odium. "Just remember you're the one who said you'd take me back into this division."

"And you are the one who asked," Byakuya answered, a touch of heat in his voice. "So, if you do not like your current situation, then you only have yourself to blame." Takumi scoffed and nearly moved to leave again, but his zanpakutoh stopped him with a command so sharp that he had to hide his hand behind is back in order to conceal the lines spreading over his skin. "Leave," he said again.

"If I could, then I would." He leaned against the door and drew a breath as he gazed at the ceiling. "Something is about to happen."

"If you are referring to that second sight of yours, I refuse to believe anything related to it." He didn't bother explaining that he had discovered Haru's death by means of what Byakuya so disdainfully called his "second sight," far from the proper name for his technique. He simply lowered his one visible eye to the captain, who was still hammering away at the paperwork on his desk. "If you have nothing else to say, then leave." Takumi froze and sighed in relief as he felt the lines recede. Then, he stepped forward with some kind of haze burning in his only visible eye.

"It may be easier to flow downriver," he said at last, "but sometimes, the extra work it takes to go against the current… pays off in the long run."

"What are you saying now?" Byakuya grumbled, but he peered up to find the brazen shinigami sliding the door open. "Answer me, Fujiwara-nanaseki." Takumi only cast one eye over his shoulder before crossing the threshold and sliding past Renji, who backed up slightly at the infuriated look Takumi gave him.

"He's in a swell mood," Takumi said loud enough for Byakuya to hear. "If you even think about looking at him wrong, he'll bite your head off."

"Fujiwara…" He prepared to give his seventh seat the talking to of his life, but his figure vanished before he could get any more than Takumi's name out. Slowly, Byakuya pushed his chair back and rose to his feet, but Renji was already blocking the way with some kind of serious look on his face.

"Taichou, I have a request. Just let him go."

"After days and days of _that_, what you are asking me impossible."

"Come on, Kuchiki-taichou… it's just his way of dealing with the situation." Renji slid the door shut behind him and extended a handful of papers. "These came in just now. They're reports about the hollow attacks in Seireitei and Karakura."

"What do the figures look like?" he inquired, folding his arms behind his back and occupying himself with the bleak pre-winter scenery that lingered outside his window.

"According to these forms, Ichigo and Rukia have taken out over a hundred in just the past nine days alone, and most of these are gillians. However, there have been isolated incidences of lower-level hollow as well."

"And how does that compare with the numbers here?"

"Pretty damn even, and what's interesting is not only the numbers and types are matching up but the times are as well." Byakuya held out a hand, and Renji delivered the forms without further comment. He thumbed through them for a moment, his eyes wandering from one column to the other. As his eyes fell on the first column, he raised a hand to his chin in thought, then set them down on an empty corner of his desk.

"Do you find it odd, Renji, that these attacks began the day Haru was reported dead?"

"Eh?" he stammered, not really expecting Byakuya to speak so casually about something that obviously caused him great pain. He folded his hands behind his back and stood rigidly at the window again.

"Within an hour of the emergency captain's meeting during which I disclosed Haru's demise, the first attack occurred in Karakura. Half an hour later, one occurred here, in the seventh district. The next day, another occurred in the morning. Forty-three minutes later, we were breached." Byakuya peered at Renji, who nodded his head at the observations. "These figures demonstrate two important things about these seemingly random hollow attacks. First, the times and dates correlate rather interestingly. The attack here always happens within two hours of the one that occurs in Karakura. Second, that they began when Haru perished." Byakuya tapped his finger on that particular date for a moment, then let his brows knit together. He was fighting off grief in order to preserve his reason and his mask of composure, which was holding up surprisingly well considering the fact that he hadn't slept much in the past two weeks. "Is it such a large logical jump to presume that Aizen's forces still think she is alive?"

"But she's dead! Takumi said it himself! And if he did, then it's got to be true!" That nagging hope surfaced in the back of Byakuya's mind, but he shook it off in order to focus his logic on the course of events. It all seemed rather convenient to him, and Takumi had already lied once. Still, after seeing the extent of his seventh seat's sorrow, and considering what mood it put him in, there was no doubt in his mind that his vision of that much had been genuine. Yet if that was the case, then there was so much that didn't make sense. As Byakuya milled these things over, Rikichi burst into his office.

"Sumimasen, Kuchiki-taichou, but I require permission to speak! It's urgent!"

"Nandesuka?" the captain asked calmly.

"We've just received a report from the real world. Twenty additional gillian have invaded Karakura."

"Do we need to deploy anyone?" Renji asked hastily, concerned for the wellbeing of both Rukia and Ichigo.

"That isn't necessary, Abarai-fukutaichou. Reports also indicate that these gillian were dispatched of soon after they entered Karakura."

"All of 'em?" Renji stammered.

"How long ago did the report come in?" Byakuya asked.

"About half an hour ago, sir."

"Send an alert to the first division. Tell them we need to mobilize immediately."

"Sir?" Byakuya slid his zanpakutoh into his obi and paced towards the door without further explanation, leaving his sixth chair and his vice captain to work things out amongst themselves.

* * *

><p>It was only after Takumi left the office that a dreaded feeling sank into the pit of his stomach. Suddenly, he felt the desperate need to get to the fifth division headquarters. He ran in that general direction, blind of everything but that need. He forgot his hunger, his exhaustion, and the nagging anxiety about… whatever it was. <em>Akumashoku, what's going on?<em>

_I am not sure, _his zanpakutoh replied. _Nonetheless, I think you've got every reason to feel anxious. _Takumi rounded the corner and shot across the pavement, mumbling half-hearted pardons as he whipped around the road's occupants. When he tired of dealing with them, he shot onto the roofs and ran along those until the line of buildings ceased and he was forced to descend to the ground. He landed in a crouch before shooting forward again.

_Damn it, _he thought, stopping and glancing back.

_Nani? _Takumi stood there for a few moments and let his brows fall together.

_Just now, I could have sworn that I saw… _He didn't dare speak the name. He refused to accept that she wasn't dead, not after the vivid dream he had of her dying breath. Clenching his fist, he turned and bolted forward again. As he rounded the final corner, he bumped into someone with enough force to knock them to the ground. He himself staggered backwards but managed by some miracle or some lapse of gravity to maintain his balance. Takumi gazed at who it was for a moment, then sighed with relief despite the tongue lashing he was receiving, one that made him smile.

"What the hell is that look for?"

"I'm just glad I found you," he sighed, holding out a hand. She took it, and he helped her to her feet. "That aside, your angry face always makes me smile, Momo."

"What the hell was that?" she shouted, cuffing him in the arm so hard that he actually winced before breaking into nervous laughter.

"Sumimasen… I'm not in my right state of mind."

"When are you ever?" Hinamori retorted, resting her hands on her hips. "What's the matter, anyway? You look as if you raced over here for some reason." Takumi ignored her question and began shifting his eyes about. He still appeared flighty and instinct-driven, yet there was such a profound composure beneath his expectancy that Hinamori had no doubt in her mind that he had seen something to put him in this state. "What did you see?" she asked.

"I haven't seen anything. It's what I felt that got me here so quickly."

"Eh?"

"I was worried about you… and everyone else here, even though they seem to despise my very presence." Takumi tried to walk past her, but she grabbed his wrist and pushed up his sleeve, examining his skin for a moment while he gazed at her with furrowed brows. He didn't feel much like waiting for her to say something, but at the same time, pulling away would be too extreme. After all, he was growing used to her mannerisms, and this was simply one of them. He stared her down until her determination waned and she dropped her gaze. To his relief, she still hadn't asked any questions, and just as she was about to, he felt the weight of an immense reiatsu bearing down on him. "I knew it would be here!" Takumi whirled and tried to tear away from her, but her grip remained, forcing him to stop and peer wildly back at her for a moment.

"I'm coming with you."

"Momo-san…"

"It will be dangerous by yourself." He considered it for a moment, then nodded his head in assent. They took off side-by-side since both of them knew where they were going. "Takumi, what are you planning to do?" Again, he took a moment to consider her question before answering.

"I'm going to protect this place and save every life I can."

"You aren't rushing in just to kill the enemy?"

"That's part of the job," Takumi answered, pulling his sword slightly from its sheath and pressing his thumb against the blade until he felt a bit of blood drop from it. "If I lose my life in the process, then…"

"You won't lose your life," Hinamori stated as she pulled her zanpakutoh free. "That's an order. It will probably be the only one I ever give you."

"Understood, Hinamori-fukutaichou." He yanked his own blade free and summoned it by name before rounding the corner. "Given that you promise me the same." He smiled before flashing out of sight, driven forward not by thought but by instinct, which he always allowed to govern every move in battle, yet even instinct couldn't drive him any farther forward when he found himself peering at roughly forty hollow, all of them sleek, wolf-like creatures. Takumi flashed up to the roof to survey the scene better. Several casualties had already occurred, and the canine hollow were occupied with the corpses. Those that were not moved forward with snarls that caused the onlookers to become skittish. _This won't end well unless they fight together, _he thought as he crouched on the roof and began counting. _Someone has to unify them… _He clenched his fist and watched as one unfortunate shinigami made the mistake of turning tail and running. Two or three of the smaller hollow raced after him, and the moment before he was devoured, a blast of kidou scattered them.

That blast snapped him back to reality, and Takumi suddenly found himself preoccupied with Hinamori, who raised the sword and prepared to fend off the three hollow surrounding her. She was oblivious to the one that had stuck up behind her. _Damn it, _he thought. _Why do I always get stuck with this shit? _She beat them back one after the other, inflicting minor wounds on them and avoiding any harm to herself until the final one leapt at her. She perceived it only too late and prepared to receive a critical wound, but the beast let out a loud whine as a blazing shadow leapt between them.

"Ta… Takumi…"

"Careful," he stated, touching her shoulder and turning to the victim of his attack, who was now bent and growling at him. He drew a breath as the sound of chaos erupted around them, and when he grew irritated with it, he spun his scythe between his fingers and slammed it into the ground with enough force to silence the shinigami who remained. Even the hollow fell silent, for there was something authoritative about his movements, and when Hinamori perceived it, she turned to him to find that the lines had reached his hands. "Calm down," he said loud enough for those present to hear. "They're only hollow."

"Only hollow?" one of them shouted as she knocked one of the canine hollow away. "These things have already taken down ten of our men!"

"You don't think I can't see that?" he shouted in reply. A pulse of reiatsu raced along his scythe, and he turned his only visible eye to those that hadn't been slain. "Stay calm, and work together! Fight back to back with one or two of your companions! That's the only way you'll survive!" At that point, he backed into Hinamori, who jolted slightly but nodded and raised her sword before looking away from him. The others, by some stroke of luck, or more likely by lack of other alternatives, decided to take his advice. "Sorry."

"For what?"

"For stepping in," he whispered, whirling his scythe around before dropping it to eye level and wrapping both hands around it. "I didn't mean to suggest that you couldn't fight them yourself, but…"

"Iie… I'm not offended. I'm grateful."

"Really?" he stammered, grateful that she was facing away from him, because at the sound of the word, his face reddened a bit. One of the hollow came at him, and he swung his scythe, knocking it away and putting a small chink in its armor. The creature snarled at him, and Takumi growled back, narrowing his visible eye and clutching his weapon until his hand trembled. Behind him, an explosion followed the obvious rise and fall of Hinamori's sword, and tempted as he was to glance over his shoulder to analyze her movements, his eye was locked on his opponent, shining with an almost feral light as he waited for the next blow. Somewhere nearby, he heard someone give a shout that sounded like death, and it chilled him to the bone. In that moment of hesitation, the hollow raced forward and clamped its jaws around the long metal handle of his weapon. Without thinking, he released the handle and slammed one hand against the creature's bony head. For a moment, he was absorbed with the tormented eye, but then, he realized his lips were moving, and he heard himself say, "Hadou no sanjyuusan: soukatsui." The creature's skull gave way beneath the blast, and when its body landed a few meters away, it left a streak of blood across the pavement. Around that time, he noticed that his hand was trembling, that it was covered with the life fluids of the hollow he had just blasted away, and he would have stopped if it hadn't been for the absolute knowledge that Hinamori's survival also depended on his.

He seized his scythe and raised it above his head, whirling it in a wide circle fast enough to disrupt the air. As the next one shot towards him, his blade swept through its body, severing the hollow's bony armor and sending it backwards. Hinamori moved again, probably blasting another one, or perhaps the same one… he didn't know. His mind was fully fixed on his opponent despite the sound of battle all around him. When it raced forward again, he twirled the scythe so that its blade was near the ground and then swung upward. "Tsukishibou," he murmured. The blade gleamed silver as it sliced upwards towards the sun above, and the creature fell onto the pavement, writhing in pain until its life finally ceased. He whirled his zanpakutoh about, growling as he sliced another down. He felt something warm strike the side of his face and prayed it wasn't Hinamori's blood before cutting through another. They were beginning to attack in small groups so that both he and the vice captain at his back were in constant motion, knocking one aside before changing directions and continuing the swing.

"Duck," Hinamori said suddenly. Takumi obeyed and dropped to one knee, perceiving in his mind's eye the hollow that was going towards her legs. She fired a blow of kidou over her shoulder, obliterating one of the hollow that had been harassing him. In the same instant, he swung his scythe until its metal handle rested only centimeters from her ankle. The blade impaled the attacking hollow's head, and with a hasty movement, Takumi flung it off. The hollow corpses were beginning to pile up, he realized as he stood, on both sides. Some of the shinigami were trying to protect the wounded, but to little avail. He realized he wasn't content with simply preserving himself and Hinamori, important as she was to him.

"Let's break," he said suddenly.

"Nani?"

"You know," he stated, knocking one across the jaws. "I go one way, you go the other."

"Takumi, if we do that…"

"I know we'll be vulnerable, but I can't keep letting these people take the heat. They're starting to get tired, and the wounded can't do much of anything." Takumi felt her draw a breath and sigh before swinging her blade and releasing another blast.

"Alright," she murmured.

"I'm going to come your way. Just wait until I take care of a couple more, alright?"

"Hai." Takumi sliced two more down before they both glanced at each other over their shoulders and mutually acknowledged that the moment had come. Takumi whirled around, and they both charged, raising their weapons and cutting down any hollow that happened to get in their way. One shinigami that was just about to be devoured was saved by Takumi, who stepped in front of the true target and sliced the attacking hollow clean in two. He turned on his ankle and continued, peering to Hinamori, who blew one after the other away. The ten or fifteen surviving hollow acknowledged the important leadership roles and immediately turned to attacking them. Hinamori batted one away with every swing, sometimes two at a time. Takumi seemed to see in all directions; he killed without looking. Always, his scythe found its mark. He thrust his foot against the head of one, which tumbled back and then sprang forward again. He gave a shout of determination before throwing it back again and turning to deal with the one that was mere centimeters from taking a bite out of his shoulder. Those who were left unharmed began tending the wounded, seeing that the hollow were fixed on the vice captain and the demon. Somehow, they knew not to interfere and that their efforts would be better exerted in that direction.

_Kuso, _he thought as he sliced down another. _These things are so hard to cut… and my arms are getting tired._

_Are you certain you don't wish me to take over? I promise I won't let you kill any allies._

_It's fine, _Takumi replied with a sigh. _The fact that you're lending me your power at all is a huge help, and I appreciate it._

_Domo, _the demon replied. The handful that were left all charged him at once, abandoning their attempts at killing Hinamori in favor of attacking him.

_I was hoping they would do something like this. Are you ready, Akumashoku?  
><em>

_I am always ready._

"Right, then," he answered lowering his scythe and drawing a breath. He perceived them from all directions even though he had his eyes closed. He thought he heard Hinamori call his name, but his focus was so intense that not even that disrupted him. A moment before the jaws at all angles closed in on him, he drew his scythe back and said in a voice loud enough for those present to hear, "Taiyoushibou." The burst of reiatsu that issued forth from his weapon whirled around him in a sphere that then protruded sharp points of light. Takumi swung his scythe and severed the dome. All that was left around him were corpses and the faint glow of his own reiatsu. As he opened his eye, this trace of reiatsu became even more apparent. He peered directly at Hinamori for a few tense moments before swaying where he stood and sinking to his knees.

"Takumi!" She bolted towards him and knelt down, putting her hands on his shoulders and shaking him gently. "Takumi, are you alright?" She checked his pulse and his temperature when he didn't respond, but the hand never arrived at his forehead because he caught it and peered up at her.

"I'm fine," he managed, bowing his head and leaning on his zanpakutoh for support. "Just fine." Takumi released her hand and used it to force himself up. "I'm just not used to expending that much reiatsu in one sitting, and this thing is kind of unwieldy."

"Are you sure you're…"

"I'll be fine if I eat something… if I can even eat after that," he stated, peering at his blood-covered hands again. With a grim sigh, he sealed his sword and sheathed it, then turned towards the situation behind him. Realizing that he had an audience didn't help matters. He felt like crawling into a hole and hiding in shame for the rest of his life, but that wasn't an option. Those that remained looked relatively bewildered, as if they needed a leader. He recognized some of them as the ones that had given him a hard time the other day. He peered critically at them for a moment before swallowing and stepping forward. "Momo-san," he said, turning to her. "Stay here and do what you can. I'm going for the fourth division."

"Takumi…" Before she could release another syllable, he had turned and taken three steps running, but that was all the farther he got. Walking towards him was the last person he wanted to see at the moment, accompanied by Hajime and a handful of fourth division officers. He clenched his fist and stared at the ground immediately, avoiding Byakuya's gaze like the plague and wishing more intensely for that hole he wanted to crawl into. Hinamori touched his arm gently, and while her gesture reassured him, he kept his eyes to the ground, mainly because his face felt suddenly warm.

"Here," Hajime stated, handing him a clean rag. "Are you going to be alright, Takumi?"

"I'm less concerned about myself and more concerned about them." He peered over his shoulder at the shinigami behind him, both wounded and otherwise, all of whom were currently looking quizzically at him again.

"You should go somewhere and clear your head…"

"Iie," he said firmly, causing Hinamori to flinch and glance up at him. "I'm staying here… until this whole thing is taken care of. If you've got a problem with it…" He paused, then peered at Byakuya, who obviously did have a problem with it. "Then you can tell the devil after I send you to hell." He smirked calmly as he paced away, feeling a little more sure of himself than he had before the whole incident despite the many gazes that were currently following him. He paused next to one group of three, two of whom only had minor injuries. The third had nearly lost a foot to the jaws of the hollow they had just combated. He dropped to one knee and peered at them for a moment, then bowed his head. "Does it hurt?" The injured shinigami nodded in ascent. "I'm sorry," Takumi stated. "If you'll let me, maybe I can do something about it." The two uninjured shinigami exchanged glances, but the third simply nodded again. "Alright," he murmured. "Tell me if you feel any discomfort, and for the gods' sakes, try not to squirm too much." Takumi outstretched his hands, keeping his eyes locked on the wound, and summoned a glimmer of kidou to them.

"Should we… stop him?" one of the fourth division members inquired.

"Iie," Hajime responded. "Let him have his way. He would probably try helping even if we put him in a bakudou." They each wandered off to treat the injured, and to fulfill the ever grim task of collecting the dead. Perplexed by this turn of events, Hinamori forced her eyes away from Takumi and turned to his childhood friend.

"Medicinal kidou?" Hinamori stammered. "But… how?"

"To be honest," Hajime said in a voice loud enough for Byakuya to hear. "Takumi is rather skilled at this sort of thing. He can be versatile when he wants to be."

"Then why has he never done it before?"

"Because most people never see past the demon," he responded with a shrug. "Hinamori-san, I don't suppose you would be willing to help as well?"

"No, of course not."

"Then make sure Takumi doesn't work himself into a faint, as he has been known to in the past. I must see to the wounded and the dead, as my captain has commanded me." She peered to him and noted the intense look on his face. Still, an undercurrent of exhaustion fluttered through his eyes, one that more than convinced her of the veracity behind Hajime's words. She turned back to say something to him, but he was already giving orders to his companions, who all went about their grim task. To Byakuya, she gave only a glance and a nod to ensure that she was free to fulfill Hajime's request. When he made no objections and turned away, she approached Takumi, taking care not to disrupt his work, and she went so far as to doubt that he perceived any of his surroundings. The look on his face was so intense, so focused, that it caused a slight chill to race through her veins. She had never seen him make a face quite like that before.

"A… ano…"

"Hmm?" he inquired, peering up at his temporary patient, who shamefully looked away. "If you've got something to say, then just say it. Even if I were the type to bite heads off, I doubt I could manage to in my current condition."

"Well, it's just… you've got this reputation."

"That's putting it delicately," he retorted.

"And I'm just wondering why you would… you know… do something like this." Takumi waited until he was finished to answer, at which point he mopped his brow with a slightly unsteady hand and rose.

"Because…" He paused, then half turned away, as if he suddenly became aware of his surroundings again. He peered critically at the sky, pressing a hand against his eye patch and peering to Hinamori. With a weak smile, he proceeded to provide his answer. "I'm part of this division, in a manner of speaking. I'm not about to abandon it to be ravaged by hollow on a daily basis. If there's something I can do with the limited authority I have, then I'll do it. If, by fighting, I can protect this place, then I'll fight. No orders can stop me from fulfilling that much; I could never forgive myself if I quit living by those guidelines, and I'm sure that if she were here, she would say the same thing." He didn't stay to explain things any further. Instead, Takumi began pacing away. "Help the wounded and the dead, if you can. If I do anything else, I'll collapse. I only wish I could do more."

"H… hai," they replied in unison. Takumi listened to them depart, then rested a hand over the right side of his face again. He slowly dragged one finger along one of the scratch marks that the eye patch didn't cover, a slight groove in his skin that felt strange yet natural.

"What did you see?"

"Nothing important," he replied.

"You're quitting already?"

"Hey, if you want Hajime to haul me out of here on a stretcher, then…" A powerful shove from behind him caused him to stumble, and he glanced up at Hinamori. "Hey! What gives?"

"Urusai," she retorted. "Walk. You need sustenance."

"Eh?" he stammered. "Look, you're not my mother, so lay off."

"Then move it."

"Alright, alright! Just quit shoving me, and maybe I will!"

"Oh, you most certainly will," she retorted, giving him another rough push. Takumi staggered for several steps before catching his balance and peering at Hinamori for a moment. The way he gazed at her suggested that he wasn't certain if she were really beside him or if she was only a mirage, a delusion generated by his sorry state. "Honestly…" Hinamori set her hands on her hips and sighed in mock irritation. She paced forward and seized his hand. "Quit looking at me like that. I'm real." Takumi stared at her hands for a few moments, knowing full well that his face was quickly turning red and making no effort to hide it. "Hey, are you alright? You look like you have a fever again."

"I… iie," he answered hastily. "I'm fine." His response elicited another shove from her, and this time, her hands didn't leave his back until he was cursing and taking clumsy, forced steps in the direction she wanted him to move. "I'm walking, I'm walking! Sheesh… be patient." Satisfied with his response, Hinamori paced up beside him, at which point he stole a glance at her hand again and swallowed the lump in his throat.

"You were pretty impressive," she admitted.

"What do you mean?"

"Back there." Takumi blinked and tried to figure out whether or not to take her words as a complement or as something else, and even if it was a complement, he knew it would leave a terrible taste in his mouth. "You took ten of them down in one move, and you saved us the rest of the trouble. It was incredible. And that medicinal kidou… I never knew you had any skill in that area. Why didn't you tell me?"

"You never asked," he said simply. The sorrow in his voice made her fall silent, and in the silence, they both finally noticed how cold it was. They arrived at his home, and Takumi automatically opened the door, knowing that his sister had to work late that night. Just before he closed it, he paused and pushed it back open. "Will you stay… for some tea?" Hinamori nodded and ducked under his arm as he pushed the door open again. Once he closed it, he removed the eye patch, which suddenly felt restrictive and annoying, and moved about the kitchen in such a way that spoke clearly of his exhaustion. He paused when he felt a hand on his arm, turning to Hinamori and gazing at her without fear or anxiety. Despite the fact that one of his eyes were red, his expression seemed to possess a childlike inquisitiveness.

"Sit down."

"Momo…"

"And don't complain," she added hastily. "You're in no condition to be doing this sort of thing." Feeling suddenly complacent, he wandered over to the kotatsu his sister had brought out for winter and knelt at it, relishing the warmth that the thick covering provided his hands and feet with. Already, he could see things would end badly; she was reaching for something on the top shelf, and while he knew that his reflexes would be more than enough to prevent injury, he still prepared himself to leap up at any moment. After dragging a small stool over, Hinamori peered at him momentarily, then ascended in an attempt to retrieve the tea. "That last move…" she murmured. "What was it?"

"Taiyoushibou, an attack aimed entirely at obliterating the body of the attacker. I can use it in much the same manner as tsukishibou by just swinging my scythe, but to utilize its destructive power, I can wait until I am surrounded and then discharge a large amount of reiatsu through the blade and the surrounding area. The end result is the same either way." Takumi eyed her for a moment, then said, "Are you sure you don't want my help?"

"Iie… it's fine," she stated, hopping up and down on one foot in a vain attempt to reach the can of tea. Since the time hadn't yet come, Takumi smiled and folded his hands, suddenly grateful for her presence despite his frequent reflections on how much easier it would be without her. "So… when did you learn medicinal kidou?"

"At the academy," he answered, letting his eyes drift shut. "I started taking classes before I knew the name of my zanpakutoh. Completely oblivious to its nature, I fooled myself into thinking that I could defy fate and save lives rather than ending them. I wasn't so good at firing hadou, but I wanted to get better. That was when I met Hajime, and that was when I started dreaming of being in the fourth division. They had a reputation for being worthless, but I was pretty confident in my fighting skills, and if I could heal people, then I felt that maybe I could make up for my father's past. Still, the dream was short lived. Back when Akumashoku was not as forgiving as he is now, he put my body and my mind through hell. There were times I thought I really would kill someone. If it wasn't for Hajime, I probably would have. He was the reason I almost lost my eye, and he was the reason I hated Haru so much the first time I met her."

"And you just forgave all of that?"

"I had to, knowing the hell he was put through." Takumi rested his palm in one hand and opened his eyes again. "Akumashoku is the result of a centuries old hatred that has coursed through the blood of the quincy for generations. He was specifically engineered to kill, but by doing so, the Yamashita clan caused him untold amounts of physical pain. He was literally ripped apart and put back together in such a distorted form that he can't remember his original shape or name. And that hatred was passed to Yamashita Masahiro by his father, who inherited it from his father, and so on to the very roots of the clan. So, Akumashoku hated me for wanting to help people survive, and I hated him for everything he put me through until I lost my left eye. Only then did I really see the truth of the matter, that this ridiculous cycle of hate had to end. All it takes is one person…"

Takumi leapt up and flashed out of sight before Hinamori could even let out a faint cry of distress. She fell straight into his arms, and he dropped to one knee. Neither of them breathed for a moment, not until Takumi opened his eyes with a serious grin. "We really need to stop meeting like this." She laughed a little and leaned against his shoulder while Takumi felt his face flush and peered awkwardly at the door to make sure no one was there. "Did I… say something funny?"

"It was the more the way you said it. Hey, your face is turning red. Are you sure you don't have a fever?" Hinamori pressed a hand to his forehead, drawing his gaze to hers. It had now become more serious than it had seemed, and the look he gave her effectively chased off the rest of the humor she could have found in the situation. "Takumi…" His arms trembled, and his hands closed around one shoulder and one knee as he bowed his head to hide his eyes. Curious, she swept the golden locks away from his forehead and saw that, fortunately, he wasn't wrought with sorrow but with something else entirely. "Hey… are you…" As he leaned in closer, Hinamori found that her thoughts had deserted her and that she could do nothing to rebel, so she shut her eyes and waited for the inevitable. With his lips only centimeters from hers, he paused and peered at her, studying her acceptance with a troubled look in his eye. Her breath struck his face, and he asked himself what on earth he was doing. Then, shrugging, he leaned in a little closer, sighing the first word that came to mind.

"Klutz." Startled, she blinked and peered up at him as he rose to a standing position and set her on her feet. Then, with a sort of bitter smile, he hopped up on the stool and retrieved the tea. When he climbed down, she was still standing there blankly, pressing a hand to her lips, where that word had fallen just moments before. "I'll start the tea. Do you mind instant ramen for dinner? It's fast, and I'm kind of hungry." Hinamori turned to him, trying to read the exact sentiments in his mismatched eyes, and finding such a task impossible, she clenched her fist and dropped her eyes to the ground. "Eh? Did I do something wrong?"

"Baka," she retorted. "You always assume it's your fault."

"Well, it is. If I had gotten the tea in the first place, then…"

"This isn't about the tea." Takumi blinked, and his expression immediately grew serious again. "You're mocking me, aren't you?"

"Mocking you?"

"Surely, you've noticed by now."

"I'm not sure what you're referring to," he answered.

"Damn it, Takumi!" She said it with a little more force than she intended, and when she peered at him, he saw the gleam of tears in her eyes. "Don't you get it? Don't you see what's happening? How can you not, with that eye of yours?"

"Momo-san…"

"You're the worst… you're the absolute worst…" Bewildered, he searched for words and found none. After a futile moment of grappling with his mental reticence, he set the can of tea on the counter and stepped towards her. "You're becoming a part of the fifth division, and what's more… you're becoming its vice captain."

"Eh?"

"You started giving orders today… in a way only a vice captain could. You stood up to Kuchiki-taichou when you saw that he would try to stop you. And what's more, you protected everyone, even at the cost of your own wellbeing. Face it, Takumi… you're becoming the very thing you wanted to be… and that has to mean… that taichou isn't dead."

"Momo-san, I know what I saw. There isn't any hope left for her."

"Liar!" she shouted, slamming her fists against his shoulders and pressing her face against his chest. "You're a liar… Fujiwara Takumi…" Sighing, he wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin against her shoulder, tilting his mouth towards her ear.

"If you go on like this, you're going to make me do something that I'll probably regret later."

"Then give me the truth. That's all I want…"

"Fine," he said firmly, pushing her away. "You want the truth, fine, but don't you dare regret it." Takumi turned away and started filling a tea pot with water. "Help me with dinner, and I'll tell you everything you want to hear, Hinamori Momo-san." The tone of his voice made her quiver even though she wasn't afraid. After steadying herself, she proceeded to put the tea on while Takumi went about slicing a variety of vegetables finely and tossing them into the broth he had set on the stove. She couldn't help but admire the speed at which he completed these tasks, almost as if he were rushing to help her. Before she knew it, they were sitting at the kotatsu with a steaming meal between them, and after muttering the opening thanks, they both dug in, unable to restrain themselves. "What's bothering you?"

"Hmm?" she asked suddenly.

"Tell me exactly what you want to know, and I'll tell you. No metaphors, no figurative language. I can be direct with you. Akumashoku has given me permission." Hinamori hesitated, then recalled that her hesitation had cost her more than she could bear to lose last time she left it to silence to convey her feelings.

"If you're not doing all of this for taichou, then who are you doing it for?" He gave her a serious look and sighed, as if he knew he would be burdened with this question. After setting his half-eaten ramen aside, he took a sip of tea.

"Simple. I'm doing it for you." Hinamori choked on the tea she was drinking and coughed behind her sleeve for a moment, then peered up at him to see a completely genuine look on his face. "It's not completely for you… I'm looking for a better life. Ever since Akumashoku and I made amends, I decided I would pursue something better for myself. It's a little selfish, I know… but I promised myself I wouldn't be ruthless in pursuing it. I told Akumashoku that if I were to have a better life, I wanted to earn it legitimately. Unfortunately, he's a little more impatient than I am." Takumi closed his eyes and contemplated his next words for a moment. He vainly hoped that she would drop the subject since it still seemed a little early, but he swiftly learned that she wouldn't be deterred.

"And what exactly are you doing for me? Do you think it pleases me to see you usurping my power?" He shifted his eyes and peered shamefully at the corner. "Answer me, Takumi."

"Of course I don't."

"Then why…"

"I warned you before, didn't I?" he interrupted. "I told you not to get too close to me."

"Then you knew this would happen? You planned it from the beginning?"

"I didn't plan anything," he managed, bowing his head and glaring at the pattern on the comforter, tracing patterns on it with his eyes. "There was nothing I could do to stop it from happening." Takumi peered up at her to read the bewilderment on her face. Then, he bowed again. "If you hate me for this, I don't blame you. I can't ask for your forgiveness."

"You're not telling me the whole truth, Takumi."

"That's as much of the truth as I can give you. If I say anymore, then you really will regret it. Onegai… just take what words I've given you…"

"I can't do that. It's not enough." He peered up at her with difficulty to find her resolve burning brighter than ever. "I'm going to ask you one more time… why do you say you're doing this for me?"

"That's a heavy question," Takumi retorted. "You won't like the answer you find. That much, I know."

"I don't care," she answered. "I want it anyway. Tell me the truth, just like you said you would. No veiled language, no metaphors… I want the truth directly." Takumi sighed heavily and peered at her, then glanced away momentarily before recovering his courage.

"The truth his, you and I can make each other stronger… not to say that you aren't strong now, but if I understand correctly, your sword lost a lot of its edge while you were in your catatonic state, and mine… well, it has never exactly been all it can be. If we work together, then we can both grow in power."

"Why? To kill hollow?"

"Iie," Takumi answered, shaking his head. "To protect this place, and every precious person in it." He gave her an intense look that she tried to ignore but found lingered even after she glanced away. When it finally vanished and her mind could shift again, Hinamori continued eating and pondering over what he had said. When she swallowed the last of her tea, she peered at him again. There was still something he wasn't telling her. Still, Hinamori suddenly felt it pointless to press the issue.

"As long as we're clear on that," she stated, folding her hands, "then I'm not opposed to sparring you every day." Takumi nodded and peered at her. "After we're finished at the fifth division, we can use one of the empty training fields for an hour or so."

"That sounds good."

"Then meet me at the office tomorrow afternoon."

"Hai," he answered, smiling as he rose to clear the table. She more than gladly pitched in, washing the dishes and then handing them to him to dry. Once everything was in its proper place, she meandered towards the door and slid her sandals on.

"I need to get some rest. I suggest you do the same, Takumi."

"You're not my mother, so quit worrying."

"Friends worry about friends," she stated. "Besides, you haven't looked quite right since killing that hollow earlier."

"Sumimasen."

"Quit apologizing," she retorted. "It's not your fault. I'd rather have you like this than dead." He nodded slowly and folded his arms, bowing his head for a moment in deep thought. Hinamori examined his face for a moment, noting its placidity, its complete calm, its intense focus. She nodded her head and, leaning forward, pressed her lips against the left side of his face. Startled, Takumi jolted and leapt back, pressing his hand to the spot as if she had just decked him.

"W… what the hell was that for?"

"That was for saving me." Hinamori pushed the door open and peered over her shoulder. "Don't be late." Before he could sputter a comeback, her figure disappeared behind the door. Long after Hinamori's presence had disappeared, he collapsed and pressed his hand over his eyes, drawing an unsteady breath and finally sprawling out on the floor.

"Nande…" he muttered, slinging an arm over his eyes. "Why was it that, when I was running, I felt acutely… the footsteps of…" Glaring at the ceiling, he turned over and rested his head in his arm. "What exactly… is she?" He heard the way he had spoken and considered his own words for a moment. Slowly, he crawled over to the kotatsu and crept under it, placing his head on the pillow he had been sitting on only moments before. Surely, he wasn't falling victim to false hope. He knew how deadly it could be. That was why he strove to put Hinamori out of his mind; it would be dangerous for both of them if he failed to do so.

Yet by doing so, he put himself in even more danger. He deluded himself with an even falser hope. Death was absolute, and no matter what Haru was, she couldn't possibly escape it…

_But you said it yourself, Takumi, _his zanpakutoh stated as Takumi began drifting out of consciousness. _Nothing is impossible._

* * *

><p>The first thing Haru saw when she opened her eyes was the false sky drifting over her head. The next thing was a vivid memory of the now dissolved void, the place within her full of nothing but clear whiteness. Only there could she grasp it. She recalled the exact texture, the width, the length… and the color. In the infinite whiteness, she had perceived for a second time that the object she had grasped within was not luminous, nor was it entirely white like its surroundings. No, the object she held was the color of blood, the life fluid with all its warmth and fluidity yet none of the horror that came from spilling it, and yet it was not incarnadine in its entirety. That object, her reiraku… it was who she was. With a smile of understanding, she sat up and rubbed her head. Perhaps Suzaku's disappearance had been logical in more ways than one. Her zanpakutoh had, for years, protected her from the truth that she wasn't ready to face, and now that she had grasped it, she somehow felt liberated. Calm, but liberated. She peered critically at her shadow and realized someone was standing over her. She tilted her head back and blinked at her visitor, who threw something over her head and pressed a hand to it.<p>

"Shinji-san, you're back," she stammered, emerging from the cover enough to look at him. "Eh? What's the matter?"

"Haru," he said grimly. "It ain't just the Human World… that them hollow have been attackin'."

"Nani? What do you mean?"

"I killed fifty adjuchas today single-handedly. It wasn't hard for someone like me, but the last one mentioned Soul Society before I cut its damn head off." Hirako paused and folded his hands, looking directly ahead despite the fact that he felt Haru's gaze on him. "So, I went to see Urahara-san, fearin' the worst. These hollow have been ravagin' both here and Soul Society with equal force, no doubt fer the sake of recoverin' you. People have died, and they'll continue to, unless Aizen finds what he's lookin' for." Haru peered up at him, clutching the garment he had just draped over her. "What're you gonna do, Haru-sama?" She stood and removed the coat from her shoulders, black and seemingly made to fit her, though it greatly resembled the one Hirako was wearing aside from the fact that it only stretched to the middle of her thigh. The back was embroidered with a light blue cross that spanned roughly the same area as the mark on her back, along with two small, white wings that appeared to be stretched outward in flight. "Yer brother was compelled to finish that after ya left. He said he almost quit after hearin' ya were dead, but he didn't. He said ya never left things unfinished, so he didn't really want to, either. He always admired ya for that, even if it was a little reckless."

"He said all that?"

"Well, not to me… he told Urahara-san that when he delivered it thing this mornin'. That quincy brother of yers is takin' it pretty hard, grieving quietly when he can, but he can't always, so he goes to Urahara-san since he doesn't wanna burden anyone else with it."

"What did you tell sensei when you took it?"

"I didn't say anythin'. He doesn't know."

"Souka," she said, wrapping it around her arms again and reaching towards the false sun overhead. There was a desperation in her motions, one that Hirako was more than familiar with.

"What're you gonna do?" Haru smiled faintly and lowered her arms, turning to him with a glimmer in her eyes.

"I'm going to set things straight once and for all, but first… I think I need to rest a bit more." When her voice trailed off, an angry snarl erupted, and Haru covered her stomach with an embarrassed laugh. "Though, perhaps it would be good to eat something first." It was very uncharacteristic of Haru to respond that way to news that people had died because of her. Still, Hirako didn't quite feel like questioning it. After all, the slaying of her comrades was not something a Yamashita was prone to forgiving or forgetting.

* * *

><p>Whew… this one's a little longer than the first... and hence took longer to edit. Sorry about that, and the quick post-note. Japanese lesson quickly, and then, I have to prep for a thesis meeting tomorrow.<p>

Onegai: Please

Iie: No

Demo: But

Hai: Yes

Daijoubu desu ka: Are you alright?

Gomen: Sorry

Urusai: Shut up

Yare, yare: Well, well; also known as Urahara's infamous catch phrase.

Matte: Wait

Sumimasen: Another variant of an apology

Betsuni: Nothing

Nani: What

Kuso: It's not a chapter without a Japanese swear word. ^_^

Domo: Expression of gratitude

Ano: Japanese equivalent of "um."

Baka: Idiot

Onegai: Please

Nande: Why

Souka: I see

I once again extend my hopes that everyone enjoyed the chapter. Until next time, happy reading, and Happy Thanksgiving!


	3. Chapter 3: Haunted

A/N: Whew… the semester is over, and I survived with my sanity mostly kind of sort of not quite really intact, and what better way to celebrate than with another chapter of fanfiction for my lovely readers/reviewers/stalkers? Thank you for your patience and perseverance, and now for a couple of fun facts!

Fun fact:1 I actually had to split this chapter. It was originally 50 pages, and I thought that was a little much, even for me. XD Hopefully, it isn't too long-winded or anything. (Thanks to BeautifulXInXBlood for suggesting that I split it rather than shave it down to 25 pages. I would have had to eliminate half the chapter, and that would have been a bit tragic. ^_^)

Fun Fact 2: My excuse for not having updated is because a certain scene in this chapter makes me smile a lot more than it should. Go figure. Bet you can't guess which one it is!

Gratitude, as always, to everyone who has stuck with it, but especially to my reviewers Juliedoo, NAO-chan33, ThorongilAnime, Almathia, and Cupcake-sama. Hugs to you all. ^_^

And now, a chapter worthy of Mordor (hopefully). Enjoy!

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 3: Haunted<em>

Haru was haunted by the constant image of her reiraku. Every time she slept, she saw it, and she did considerably more sleeping than she usually did for the sake of ascertaining how true her sight was. After affirming the fact three more times, she had no reason to deny herself the pleasure and pain of that reality any longer than she had. It was morning and late enough for everyone to be up, so she settled herself in her roost and did something she hadn't done since her escape from Hueco Mundo. She set the bow to the string of her violin and cast into the air all of the angst, all of the confusion, all of the sorrow and regret, and all of the solitude she suffered while she was in her current state, unable to prevent the hollow from attacking, and unable to reassure those she left behind of her wellbeing. The gaps among those notes were filled with a heartfelt joy and relief, an anticipation, and the inescapable acceptance of a truth not even she could run from. _It's strange, _she thought. _While I was in Hueco Mundo, I only thought of him a handful of times, but now that I'm back, he keeps weighing on my mind. _Haru's hand pulled the bow away from her and released one long and lonely note on the air. _He had better not be doing anything stupid. _

She kept her eyes closed as she played, focusing only on herself and the brilliant light inside of her. _It has been four days… how much longer can I endure this until I finally… _Her brows fell together in concentration as her fingers waltzed across the strings. _I can't doubt what I've witnessed with my own eyes. That reiraku, and the light that now fills my inner world… the fact that the cross I wear on my wrist is now temporarily whole again… it can only mean that, while I present myself as a shinigami, I cannot deny the quincy powers I've inherited from my father. I can manipulate spirit particles with a mere thought or gesture. I can materialize a seele schneider. And most importantly, I can use the technique he devised, the culmination of the Yamashita clan's power, the apex of quincy offense. Ignis solus… _

Haru's eyes flickered open as she detected something unsettling, a reiatsu that definitely belonged to a hollow yet that was so familiar that she slid the instrument back in her case and leapt down, holding it beside her. The seele her brother had given her was at her side, and though she wore only a yukata, she knew she could defend herself in that just as well as she could elsewhere. After a few tense moments of waiting, Hiyori happened to encounter her and demanded to know what she was doing. "Be… betsuni," she managed. "I just… thought I felt something is all."

"Was it a hollow?" Haru paused, then shook her head. Besides, it was probably just her imagination. "Yare, yare… yer pretty jumpy today, Haru."

"I'm getting restless," she stated. "The attacks are growing in strength, even if they are remaining constant in number. I can't stand not being able to do anything about them, and leaving Shinji to deal with them all seems rather unfair."

"Don't ya worry one bit about him. He enjoys doin' that sorta thing. Makes him feel alive, ya know?"

"Hai," she murmured. "At any rate, I think I'll take another walk."

"Want some company?"

"Why not?" Haru smiled and folded her hands around the handles of her violin case. Then, she and Hiyori traipsed down the stairs into the basement. _What is this… feeling? _Haru lowered her eyes and watched her bare feet strike the ground one after the other. _I can't explain it. I've never felt this way in my life. It's like I'm standing on the edge of a chasm and about to jump into the abyss. _Haru paused for a moment, continuing to stare at the ground. "Kuso! I can't take it anymore!"

"Oi, oi, oi!" Hiyori shouted, attempting to kick Haru in the head but failing to land a blow. "Ya gotta conserve yer energy, Haru. Besides, ain't you always tellin' us to be patient?"

"It's different," she groaned, sinking to her knees and bowing her head. "You don't feel totally worthless."

"As a matter of fact, we did when ya decided to take off for Hueco Mundo."

"Come on… I apologized, didn't I?"

"That don't change the fact that it was stupid."

"But I made it back…"

"Yeah, barely alive, and thanks to yer recklessness, yer temporarily out of commission. Ya only have yerself to blame for that."

"I know! Still…"

"Don't ya go gettin' any ideas, ya hear? Yer job right now's to recover fully. If ya don't do that, then ya've got no chance." Haru peered at the hand that was wrapped around her instrument case. At the moment, she had done all she could. She had notified her grandfather that she was alive, though in a roundabout way as her blood had urged her to. The gift she had sent would more than likely do the trick. She even went through the pains of having Kensei take it several cities over to have it postmarked differently so that he couldn't track her down. That aside, she had also sent a hell butterfly to Yamamoto, whom she still hadn't gotten an answer from. He probably thought it was a hoax. Still, the way she had worded her message would more than likely prove her identity… or would it? And would he even stomach the excuse that she had been unconscious for eight days before awakening, then proceeded to gain her physical strength back bit by bit for another two before contacting him?

"What a mess," she sighed, bowing her head again. "If I could do something other than wait, I wouldn't have a problem. Still… I guess I've got no choice but to. No gigai, no uniform… nothing but this yukata, a violin, a seele schneider, and a coat."

"Don't get so discouraged. I'm sure it'll all be fine," Hiyori reassured her. Haru thanked the vizard and rose to her feet, clutching her violin case again and peering up at the sky, shielding her eyes with her hand to avoid damaging her eyes. She seemed lost in the scene for a moment, so much so that she didn't hear Lisa calling them both to breakfast. "Haru! Oi, Haru!"

"I'll be along in a moment," she responded without looking at Hiyori. "Do you think you could grant me some time to think?"

"You're going to overdo it…"

"I'll be fine."

"Isn't that what ya said last time?"

"I promise I'll be along in ten or fifteen minutes… twenty tops." Hiyori clenched her fist and whirled away, having no other choice but to accept Haru's words as truth because she had made them a vow. She explained the situation to Lisa, and they both left Haru entrenched in scrutinizing the false sky.

_I have to reach it, _she thought. _I was so close before I took the fall… so very close…_ Haru's instrument slid out of her grip, and she threw her arms towards the false sky, grasping the light of that sun and letting it slide through her fingers. The cross twinkled and swayed, then settled to a state of stagnancy that reminded her even more so of her current uselessness. With a sigh, she let her arms drop, and her right hand immediately moved to the ring under her clothing. _I want to be close to you again, Byakuya-sama, but until I get Suzaku back, I can't…_

"Nande?" Her heart must have skipped a beat, or else she had blinked. Suddenly, she was thrust into the brilliance of her inner world, a maelstrom of white flames with no beginning and no end. Bewildered, Haru whirled around. "What's stopping you, Haru-sama?"

"Suzaku…" She whirled around in search of any sign of her zanpakutoh, and when she found none, she peered in the direction she had originally been staring in.

"Your reiatsu is a superb thing. A mere four days, and it has recovered. I am impressed."

"Suzaku, where are you?"

"I am everywhere around you." Haru staggered and tried not to step on the fire, but it was impossible. "That's right… this fire is the core of your being, the place where I was born." She took three steps forward, then two back, always whirling around and changing direction. "Only you can tame the flames, Haru-sama. Summon me, and they will be pacified." That power she now stood stranded in… she couldn't help but wonder if she had always had it, it if it had always been there waiting for the day when she was psychologically ready to admit its existence. It was nothing but power, a power so pure and crushing that she felt a little like she was falling, a little like she was drowning, but more than anything, she felt, for the first time in her life, comfortable with its existence. "You know what you are now, Haru-sama. You understand, in part, the truth of your power, but that is only the first step to understanding the truth of your heart." She didn't speak… she couldn't. She wanted to stay, to dig a little deeper for that truth, and although that need temporarily skewed her perceptions, she suddenly recollected, with an unusually strong throb of her heartbeat, that there was something she currently wanted even more. Haru drew a sharp breath and opened her arms so that the flames embraced her. Her eyes sank slowly shut, memorizing the overwhelming power of Suzaku's presence and of her own. "I am your sword, Haru-sama. Now, wield me."

When Haru opened her eyes again, she found herself standing where she had originally been with the faint white haze flickering around her, rising like mist off of her body. She raised the cross to her eyes, finding that the square piece of metal was flickering vividly. The power felt different somehow, a little more like that power inside her. At first, she realized it hurt her back a little. Then, the pain subsided, and she drew a deep breath and whirled around on her feet. _This power… _she thought. _It's different than the one before, but it's still mine. I wasn't certain about it before, but now, I feel like I know… one day, it will be enough to beat Aizen._ The mere thought was enough to make her smile and forget everything else, everything but that instinctual thought that crossed her mind. The old summoning would inevitably fail; it was a rebirth after all, an end to one state of being and a shift into another. Her shoulders relaxed as she turned her palms towards the sun and drew a deep breath, sifting through her consciousness for the words she needed to summon her zanpakutoh back into physical existence. Upon finding them, her eyes flashed open and glimmered vividly. Her reiatsu shifted again, this time showing its duel nature as a silver and gold haze. She wrapped the index finger of her right hand around the square piece of metal, which resulted in another intense shift in her reiatsu. "Saidou joushou," she murmured as she prepared to draw her arm back. "Suzaku."

One sharp pull was all it took to free the piece of metal from its current location. She opened her right hand and expelled a breath as the flames separated into two streams that collected around the metal piece until they condensed into a solid shape. Haru could feel her uniform rematerializing. She peered at her arms as a white glow raced along them. The same glow surrounded what had moments before been a white yukata that symbolized her powerlessness. Inside of her, she felt the reiatsu continuing to shift with such intensity that she knew immediately that she should have been in pain but strangely wasn't. Haru wrapped her hand and swung once, dispersing her spiritual pressure, returning it to its gentle fluctuations. Then, she opened her eyes to examine her sword.

It was, as her zanpakutoh had always been, a seemingly innocent wooden sword topped with a gold metal rectangle and a ribbon attached at its direct center. The two ends trailed in a graceful arc behind her as she lowered the weapon and peered at the cross on her wrist. She turned slightly, relishing the feeling of the shihakusho her body was encased in, sleeveless as was her preference. Instead of the fabric bands, Haru wore a pair of sleeves that began in a point that covered the back of her hands and stretched to just beneath her shoulder, skin-tight but not an imposition. The part of her gloves that covered the back of her hands was inscribed with a white cross, and though the difference was hardly noticeable, four faint bands appeared between her elbow and the top of her gloves on each arm. The sash she had kept on even during the lowest moments of her condition hung about her waist, its tasseled ends swaying gently in the wind.

Haru pulled the sword free from its sheath for a moment, noting that the blade appeared lighter. More noticeable still were the four slight grooves that appeared near the top of the blade. They each wrapped all the way around the sword, and though they appeared a weak point, Haru could feel a great concentration of power when she touched them. Still transfixed by her weapon, she removed it entirely from its sheath and swung it through the air again. The sound it made was more beautiful than anything she had ever heard, and as she turned the blade to her eyes, it caught the sunlight and glimmered as if to express its gratitude at having been returned to a usable state. Haru's eyes locked with those of her reflection. Though they were the same color, she could see something new in them, something grim. She immediately thought of how much effort she had extended in order to escape. Unsettling though it was, she had no choice but to embrace that part of herself as she had her quincy heritage in the past. Knowing that, she cut through the air one more time, this time with no hesitation, and tilted her blade to push it back into its sheath. Her eyes then moved towards her audience, who had arrived just in time to see that cut, and allowed a smile to spread across her face.

"Baka!" Hiyori retorted. "If yer gonna pull somethin' like that, at least warn us first!"

"Nani?" she inquired.

"Yer damn reiatsu nearly broke the damn barrier!" Haru's lips parted, but whatever words she was going to utter remained unsaid. Her eyes moved away, and a look of deep consideration washed over her. Despite her resolution to think things through, a sharp jab to the forehead startled her back into the world outside her mind.

"Oi," Shinji said, grinning. "If ya think that hard, yer gonna get wrinkles, and then no one'll want to marry you." Normally, she would have shouted some kind of objection, but the reminder that such a possibility may or may not still exist with Byakuya caused her face to turn red. Mortified, she rushed several steps back and pressed her hands to her cheeks. Puzzled by her reaction, Shinji tilted his head in a shrug and paced away. "By the way, breakfast'll get cold if ya don't move it along."

"H… hai," she stammered, retrieving her instrument and following them. Mashiro immediately threw her several questions about her new uniform, to which she replied that such things were normal when one was regaining shinigami powers.

"Still, it's different than before."

"Suzaku thought I would stay warmer in the winter if I had something like this." Haru traced a few of the barely apparent bands around her arms. "They feel surprisingly light, but they're pretty warm. I don't think they'll bother me at all when I'm fighting."

"Yeah… we'll test that theory after we're done eating."

"Hell, no!" Hiyori shouted. "If ya fight with her now, yer gonna run the risk of hurtin' her!"

"Daijoubu," she said firmly. "I'm almost certain that Shinji-san will go easy on me. Besides, as things now stand, neither of us knows the limits of this blade." Haru paused and peered up at the sun again, ignoring the fact that she was falling behind, and that the vizard had all turned to peer at her. With a smile, she threw her free hand at the sky and grasped the sun's light, closing her fist around it with certainty. "I finally caught it… the sun that I've been chasing for so long…" Shinji, with a helpless shrug, appeared behind her and pushed her forward by her shoulders, causing her to stagger for a moment before she got used to it.

"Come on," he retorted. "If ya don't eat somethin', yer reiatsu might drop again…"

"Hai, hai," she answered, waving her hands, smiling even broader because she had forgotten how nice it was to endure Shinji's anxieties about her well-being.

* * *

><p>Hinamori rammed her blade against her opponent's, causing his feet to slide against the dead grass before he recovered and shoved her away. Three clangs, one after the other, fluttered through the air like a funeral knell. Takumi dodged the next strike and took a swing in her direction, but she was equally quick on her feet. They glared at each other competitively as their swords struck against one another again, sending another clang fluttering through the air. "Ready to give up, yet?" she asked with a smirk.<p>

"Like hell, I am," he answered, pushing her away. She blocked his sword with difficulty and attempted to drive her own blade against his, but he moved around it casually, as if sparing came as naturally to him as breathing did. When she swung again, he leapt out of view, then vaulted forward again, flashing out of sight just before she brought her sword down. He reappeared behind her and pressed the blade against her neck, just close enough to make her feel it. "I've got you." He felt a gentle pressure against his stomach and glanced down, seeing the point of the blade resting against his uniform.

"And I also have you," Hinamori answered. With a leer, he tried to pull away, but she whirled to him and seized his blade with her bare hand, then raised her katana over her head and prepared to swing downward while releasing a cry of determination. Takumi's eye narrowed as the warning echoed in his head. If he released his sword, the battle would end in his defeat. That was something he was no longer willing to do. He stepped to the side as the blade sailed past him and wedged itself in the dirt. Then, he slammed his foot against it and peered at her with a triumphant smile.

"Another stalemate."

"You wish." Hinamori twisted her blade and tried to force it out of the earth, but he kept it there by sheer willpower. He pulled his blade free of her grasp the same moment she managed to recover her own, and the sharp clang that followed determined the victor as one wielder stumbled trying to catch herself and the other stood, grasping his weapon firmly in his hands. Takumi sighed and sheathed his blade before walking forward to where she sat gazing up at him, perplexed and somewhat dismayed by the outcome.

"Are you alright?" he inquired, stretching out a hand to help her up. Hinamori gazed at it for a moment before placing one finger against his palm and letting it trail along his fingers for a moment. "What are you doing?" Smiling, she wrapped it in both of her hands and pressed her forehead against it.

"Your hands are really warm." He swallowed and threw his eyes awkwardly away. "Strange, that someone as cold and callous as a demon could have such warm hands…" Takumi pulled her to her feet, trying to avoid her eyes as he subtly coaxed her to let go.

"You want to go again?"

"Sure. Once more."

"I thought you would," he answered, lifting her sword up and offering it to her hilt first. She grabbed it and waited patiently for him to draw his sword. Once he had, they rushed at each other again, sending another melody of friendly combat into the atmosphere. Again and again, their swords struck as they searched each other for openings, each growing more and more determined by the second, each more and more hungry for a light-hearted victory. Takumi blinked as the sweat rolled into his eyes, ignoring the sensation of warm liquid trailing down his skin. Their breaths rose as mist in the air and mingled as they darted about, exchanging blows. Just as he was about to block, something else drew his attention, and he peered around as if he had no perception of his surroundings. Hinamori threw every bit of her weight against his sword, but she apparently threw in too much. The next thing she knew, they were both on the ground, slightly tangled up in one another. Takumi coughed slightly as the weight fell on him, blinking as he returned to reality. Mortified, they peered at each other for a moment before Takumi slung an arm over his eyes and started laughing.

"N… nani?"

"You're such a klutz. It's unbearable." Things grew slightly more serious when she gave him a good knock in the ribs with the hilt of her sword, which caused him to cough again and then stop. As a strange expression overtook his face, she leaned over him and examined it.

"What's the matter?"

"Betsuni," he sighed. Irritated, she forced him to gaze at her, pressing her hands to either side of his face, which was also warm, and peering critically into his one visible eye.

"With an expression like that, I can hardly believe you."

"Well, for one thing, I can't breathe very well with you sitting on top of me like that."

"Did you see something?" she continued, shifting slightly. He bit the inside of his mouth and slung his arm over his face again, but she pulled it away and placed her hands on either side of his head, demanding with her gaze that she receive an answer. "Was it more hollow?"

"It was nothing but a phantom of the past," he stated, sitting up and ignoring the fact that Hinamori's entire body pressed against his. Leaning is weight on his arms, he threw his eye upward and gazed at the sky, losing himself in it for a moment and forgetting everything around him. "Why are you clinging to me like that, Momo-san?"

"Because you're warm," she muttered against his chest. "Isn't that reason enough?" Something told him that wasn't the real reason. Then again, who was he to question? "Your heart is beating fast."

"It's your fault," he retorted. "If you didn't spar so damn hard…"

"Neither of us will grow stronger if we don't give it our all," she interrupted. Takumi silently agreed with her, losing himself once more in that vast and unending sky. It almost made him forget everything, everything except the thing that had jarred his concentration, and as he became fully absorbed in milling it over, he almost forgot that he wasn't alone. "Takumi, what are you thinking about?"

"Eh?" he stammered, glancing down at the eyes fixed on him.

"You had a troubled look on your face." Smiling, he shook his head and silently refused to speak. He couldn't possibly put into words what he had just seen. Words wouldn't do it justice. Besides, the sight was eating away at his heart because he knew it was false, just like every other glimpse his eye had caught of that particular matter in the past few days. "Takumi…"

"Let it go," he stated. "For your own sake, just… let it go." He could ignore the sight all he wanted, but he could never forget that feeling, that rush of false hope that made him lean forward and throw his arms around Hinamori. Even his arms were warm. His heart was rushing off somewhere, and she could no longer see his eyes because they were peering over her shoulder. Still, it was a nice feeling, a feeling that lingered even after he let go and pulled himself to his feet. His head reeled a bit, and his footing wavered until he caught his balance. He turned away from Hinamori, not because he wasn't comfortable with her seeing him emotionally distraught, but because he didn't want her guessing the image that had presented itself before his eyes. _Things are getting too complicated. I can't keep doing this. _He glanced to Hinamori with his covered eye, then set about retrieving his sword. Thinking that he was safe, he rose and stumbled slightly when he felt her latch onto his arm. "Hinamori…" It was his last attempt at keeping the distance between them.

"Takumi," she murmured. "If it… bothers you, then say so."

"If what bothers me?"

"Anything I do or say."

"If you think it will, then don't say or do it."

"I can't help it," she stated. "I was… jealous of taichou, jealous of the way you sought your salvation from her, jealous of the power she wanted to give you. I feel like a terrible person for that." Takumi remained motionless, then shut his eyes, knowing that he could no longer put up a fight against the inevitable.

"Don't apologize for things that aren't your fault."

"H… hai." A smile spread across his face as he gingerly coaxed Hinamori to let go, then immediately pressed one warm hand against her cheek and caused her to look bewilderedly up at him. His eyes were almost smoldering, and they were so intense that she could neither look away nor look directly into them.

"Sometimes," Takumi said in a low tone, "we can't help the way we feel." He smiled as his hand fell away and he turned towards his home. "Besides, in the end, she didn't save me."

"Eh?" she stammered, scurrying after him.

"She couldn't save me from Akumashoku; it was something I had to do myself, and even though I thought that she could save me from my own solitude and the ridicule I constantly faced, she didn't save me from that, either. In retrospect, she was only one step in the right direction." He stopped abruptly and stared at the incarnadine horizon. "She's the only one I can call captain without getting a bad taste in my mouth, and she's a good friend to have. Still, that isn't enough." He turned to her suddenly, and before she could back away, he had pressed her lips against hers, so gently that she thought she had only imagined it. As he drew away, his blue eye opened to find her in a state of complete and utter confusion. She turned as red as that line the sun was creeping behind and pressed her hands to her face, stammering incoherently for a few moments before Takumi pressed one finger against her lips and stilled her words. "That," he said matter-of-factly, "was for saving me, Hinamori Momo-san."

* * *

><p>The sun couldn't rise fast enough for Haru, who sat in her bed and stared at the dark sky, waiting for it to be consumed by azure. Suzaku leaned against her shoulder, the ribbon wavering as Haru practiced shifting her spiritual pressure. She had since attempted some sparring with Shinji and been thrown around to the point of utter frustration, a frustration so dire that she was constantly hungry for more. Add that to the fact that she still didn't know when she would be permitted to bind her soul to a gigai and return from the dead, and Haru thought her sleeplessness was entirely justified. She slipped the ring out from beneath her sleeping yukata and wrapped her hands around it. <em>Byakuya-sama, <em>she thought. _Please be patient. I'll be back soon._

_So, this is the real reason you are eager…_

_Suzaku! _Haru cried silently, pressing her hands to her burning face. The phoenix glided around her consciousness and landed somewhere in it. _You're terrible. You aren't supposed to hear those thoughts!_

_It is your fault for thinking them._

_That's not it at all! _Haru trembled and curled up, hiding her face in her knees. _You're terrible. You were never this curious before…_

_It is rather difficult not to see thoughts like that when you are so fixed on them. _Haru sighed and flopped down onto her back, folding her arms and shutting her eyes. _Are you angry?_

_Not really, _she answered. _Just a little embarrassed is all._

_Come now, Haru-sama. You knew the answer you would give him before you even left. What makes you so awkward about it now? I always thought you were very open with the Kuchiki._

_It is difficult, _she answered as another thought crept into her mind.

_Oh, I see… you're having second thoughts because, even though he has accepted everything from your vexing secrecy to your quincy heritage and your vast strength, you don't think he is capable of embracing this complicated link you have with the sexta espada._

_It isn't complicated at all. I am indebted to him._

_And you hate it._

_With a passion, _Haru answered, rolling onto her back. _It's just one more complication I don't need in my life. Still, that doesn't change facts. I take great pride in repaying every debt I owe, and I mean every debt. This includes the two-hundred odd shinigami and one-hundred human souls that have been slain in the ambushes that Aizen was supposed to withhold while I was his supposed ally._

_And what, pray tell, does the sexta espada have to do with that? I doubt the matter was placed in his hands, considering he had them full enough looking after you._

_You make it sound like I was inconveniencing him, _she retorted, rolling over again. _Matte… don't tell me you actually support my repayment of this debt!_

_It is a part of your pride…_

_Suzaku, it's absurd!_

_Is it? _she asked. _Do not tell me that, after all this time, you are beginning to fall into the lines that society has drawn._

_I don't know. _Haru groaned and rolled over again, throwing the blankets over her head. _What exactly do you want me to do, Suzaku?_

_Do as you will. I have no authority over your actions, Haru-sama._

_Perhaps, but you are my zanpakutoh, _she answered, sighing as she shut her eyes. _I can't be indebted to an espada, not if I'm going to be a captain. Still, it seems pointless to delay my promotion any longer than I have… _Sighing, she rolled over again and sat up, smoothing her hair with one hand and seizing Suzaku again with the other. She set her sword down long enough to pull on her uniform, then crept down to the floor of the abandoned warehouse and descended into the basement. Her steps echoed faintly off of the hallway, and when she emerged, she found the false sun hadn't stopped shining.

_What are you doing?_

_I can't sleep, so I may as well let my mind wander._

_You had better tuck that ring in. You let them have a glimpse of it the other day. It won't be long before they're asking all sorts of questions._

_Hai, hai, _she answered, pushing it inside her haori before raising the sheathed Suzaku and cutting through the air. Unsatisfied, Haru raised her sword and sliced again, feeling the spirit particles in the air part as her blade came down. She paused, gazing at her sword for a moment before bowing her head and shutting her eyes. _Byakuya-sama… _The name drifted across her consciousness, echoing through her inner world and drawing a slew of fond memories behind it. Her eyes shot open, and she cut downward, this time, with no hesitation. _I want to go back to you. _Haru lifted her blade again and made the same downward motion before repeating the process. She quickly lost count of her swings and became wholly absorbed in the rhythmic monotony. _Someday soon, I swear I will._

_You seem quite determined today, Haru-sama._

_After being thrown around by Shinji for two days, I finally feel like I'm beginning to regain my strength. Today is going to be the day I defeat him._

_That is quite a lofty aspiration._

_Not at all, _she answered. _Besides, he hasn't been using his mask. I'm quite confident that I can beat him if he isn't using it._

_And if he does?_

_Then I'll beat him anyway. It gives me something to aim for. _Haru cut through the air again, but her blade was stopped. Instinctively, she wrapped her index finger around the metal square at the top of the seele and pulled it free, materializing the blade and countering the strike that was meant to lacerate her arm. Her eyes fell open and peered at her opponent, whose sword pushed against her quincy weapon with renewed strength. Haru's arm quivered but did not budge an inch. "Isn't it a little early for this, Shinji-san?"

"It ain't ever too early…" He tried to pull her zanpakutoh out of her grip, but she kept her hand wrapped around the hilt, peering competitively into his eyes. "Besides, yer up, and yer so damn restless that it's infectious."

"Souka," she murmured. "Perhaps I am merely anxious to return the hougyoku to its rightful owner."

"Like hell," he retorted. "The only thing yer anxious to do is get back to that noble of yers and…" Before he could finish his statement, Haru rammed a knee into his stomach, thereby ridding her zanpakutoh of his grasp and her seele from the pressure of his blade. He hunched over and coughed a bit, then peered at her with a grin. "Yer blushin'." Haru flashed out of sight and reappeared a moment later just in front of him. He had just readied his sword when she slammed her own against it, pushing his feet back. The next strike, he blocked, but he had forgotten about the seele, which she spun and then swung upwards, slamming it against her own blade. He was thrown backwards again and readied himself for another offensive move, but Haru seemed intent on taking defense for whatever the reason. "Face it. Yer hopeless without him."

"I don't believe it's any of your business." Haru blocked his strike with her seele and released Suzaku, shoving him away momentarily and then raising her zanpakutoh. The melodious strike of metal against metal echoed through their surroundings.

"Yer zanpakutoh… it's different somehow."

"The appearance is the only thing that has changed, and even that is only slight." It was true. The guard was gold, now, and round rather than rectangular. The gold hoop at the end of the sword held the red ribbon in place, and its ends fluttered every time she moved. The bands on the blade, which had once been gold, now held subtle tints. In ascending order, they were light silver, gold, blue, and red, no doubt corresponding to the four lower forms of Suzaku. "I guess the power is a little different than it was before. Do you think so?"

"Yeah," Hirako answered. "It's stronger than before.

"I have a feeling there is an 'and' that should go with that statement."

"I don't know how to say it," Shinji answered, "but it feels more… genuine."

"Genuine? In what sense?"

"Hell if I know." He sighed and rested the blade of his sword against his shoulder, then pushed his hand against his forehead. "Guess it really doesn't matter…"

"M… matte, Shinji-san! Don't be so impulsive!"

"Nani? Did ya think I'd keep takin' it easy on ya? Hell, no." Haru staggered as he pulled the mask over his face and his reiatsu surged. "Now," he said in his sinister hollowfied voice. "Come at me, Yamashita Haru." For a moment, she hesitated. There was no way he actually expected her to fight against him like that. Ten percent easily would have been enough to fend off Grimmjow or Nnoitora, but a hollowfied ex-captain… she doubted she could handle it. The end result would inevitably be her lying face down in the dirt, sore and frustrated, not to mention completely out of breath, and he would calmly walk over to her and ask in a considerate voice, "Ya had enough?" Then, once she would give her affirmative answer, he would say in a flat town, "Too damn bad. We're not done yet." Then, the cycle would begin again…

"Quit hesitatin'," Hirako said in a low tone, causing her to emerge from her troubling augury. "If ya did that in a real battle, ya'd be dead in a heartbeat, and others would die, too."

"What significance does my victory or loss have on others?"

"Ya still don't get it." Hirako paced forward and raised his sword. "Yer a captain now, Haru. If ya hesitate, others will more than likely suffer the effects, if ya catch my drift." His words reminded her of something she had almost forgotten, a clear statement from Byakuya that, in any given situation, she shouldn't hold anything back, because that very same hesitation she exercised could very well lead to someone else's death one day. Then, there was the old adage that Urahara had repeated to her countless times during her own training. She spoke those words in that moment as she lifted her zanpakutoh and let the seele fall to her side.

"There is no pride in partial victory," Haru said, "and no victory in partial effort." When Haru swung, Hirako easily blocked the strike, but he didn't anticipate the seele, which came so close to his mask that he actually retreated.

"Now that yer determined, I ain't holdin' back!" Haru ignored his reiatsu, which obviously outweighed her own. After all, there were other ways to win a battle. As her feet slid across the ground from being shoved backwards, Haru processed his head-on rush and dodged. Immediately, she noticed a sort of persistence in his attacks. He wrapped both hands around his sword and swung from every direction, resulting in a series of dodges and blocks that Haru's mind had no ability to track. Her body, on the other hand, seemed to act on its own. She dipped to the left, blocked with her seele, knocked his zanpakutoh away with her own, dipped right… there was no end to the barrage; the two of them were in constant motion.

"Seishinhi," Haru stated as she made an upward cut with her sword. The blade gleamed as it dispersed a flame to match it in such copious amounts that Hirako didn't dare continue attacking from the front. Through her own attack, she perceived his shunpo and blocked a strike from behind with her seele before dispersing her first attack form and whirling to him. _If I get him at the right angle, I can use shinseinahi. Do you mind, Suzaku?  
><em>

_When have I ever minded? I trust your judgment, Haru-sama._

_Then… shall we dance? _Haru whirled around his next attack and twirled the seele with her fingers, blocking his strikes repeatedly with her zanpakutoh, or else gracefully altering her position and moving just out of his blade's reach. As the tip of his sword came dangerously close to her face, she leapt backwards and slid across the dirt, dropping into a crouch. "I can do this all day, Shinji-san."

"Yer gonna have to if ya don't do somethin' soon!" Haru knew him far too well; like Byakuya, Hirako had an impatient streak that, when it took over, made him somewhat careless. He reappeared behind her a moment later, but she thrust her foot out and wrapped it around his ankle, skewing his balance. The sword came clumsily down beside her, and she set the same foot down on it before ramming her seele into the ground and pushing herself into the air. She wrapped her hand around her blade and drew a breath as the spirit particles rushed into order. Hirako raised his blade and successfully blocked the hit, but he apparently hadn't guessed her move. In a low voice, just as gravity was beginning to overtake her body, she set loose a string of words that threw the cosmos themselves into disarray.

"Saishuuteki na keitai: shinseinahi." A blaze rushed downward and then spiraled around them, and it took Hirako a moment to realize he was alone in the vortex, that Haru had, at some point, flashed out of sight and taken her seele schneider with her. Still, the pressure of that blade, and the reiatsu within, weighed down upon him. He felt his mask crack, and somewhere beyond the walls of red flame, he felt Haru draw a hopeful breath. He could almost see her standing there, watching, waiting for the feeling that his mask had been obliterated. It was a careless move he would make her regret. With one blast of his reiatsu, Hirako dispersed of his fiery prison and whirled to face her, his eyes glowing with the desire to defeat her. Yet she had not erred as he had expected. Instead, he found her at the ready, her left arm extended and her seele pointing directly downward while the cross hung near it, her zanpakutoh wrapped tightly in one hand. "It's about time you understood, Shinji-san, the concept that I spoke of shortly after my awakening."

"Che… do what ya will. It won't be enough." Her reiatsu shifted as he started forward, and the cross glimmered with an unnatural light as the blade of her seele schneider turned entirely white. Her reiatsu, a faint silver halo, danced around her as all four of the small grooved bands around Suzaku's blade glimmered with the same light that, presumably, her cross was currently emitting.

"Ignis solus." He swung and expected the seele to do nothing more than stop his blade, but as she swung it upward, he became acutely aware that it had passed through his own sword like a hot knife through butter. Its point brushed across the mask and it scattered to pieces, and before he could even think of some counter attack, she had pressed sharp edge of her zanpakutoh against his neck. The hand holding the seele fell to her side again. Her eyes gazed at him, gleaming with some hidden power. Having no other alternative, he let his sword slip through his hands and held them up in surrender. She blinked and lowered her weapon. "Gather the pieces of your sword."

"Eh?"

"If we want to do any more sparring, then I'm going to have to fix it." Haru sheathed her sword, listening to the guard break down before sliding it entirely into its sheath. In that same moment, her seele schneider broke down, and she tucked it near her other side. Haru stretched, then dropped to her knees beside the two halves of his sword and held out her hands. Reishi rushed to the area in droves, curling around her wrists and fingers, whirling playfully in the air.

"What was that?"

"Ignis solus."

"Yeah, I get that… the hell is that, some kind of Romance language?"

"I already told you, it's Latin."

"That's some kind of technique there."

"It was the one I used to get out of Hueco Mundo." Her voice was grim and heavy, yet despite the turmoil she felt, she continued speaking. "This technique killed over two-hundred hollow in mere minutes, and that was merely in its infant stages."

"And ya used it on me?"

"Hey, you used your mask. It was fair game," she retorted. "Besides, the technique belonged to my father. It's part of my inheritance." She hadn't glanced away from his sword yet. "It's probably the only thing my grandfather can't take away from me, given the circumstances."

"And ya say yer a shinigami."

"The reiraku doesn't lie," Haru said with a mysterious smile.

"Pretty bad ass, Haru. How does it work?" Haru glanced up at him momentarily, then dropped her gaze to her work.

"The way my father used it involved raising the frequency of spirit particle vibrations in two seele schneider to sixteen million per second. Doing so involves increasing the density of the blade."

"And that ain't the way ya use it?"

"Iie," Haru answered. "I raise the density and vibration level of my seele, then connect the two with the current of my reiatsu. My agility and power both increase as a result. After that, I'm pretty much free to fight as I please, so long as I don't let go of one or the other for longer than a few seconds. Although…" She raised her head and peered at him. "I have to admit that it seems to vastly increase the power behind both weapons, so the technique is also handy for dealing with troublesome vizard who insist on fighting me before the sun comes up."

"It'll be up by now," he stated, flipping his phone open. "It's almost eight o'clock."

"Damn," she muttered, pressing her hand to her head and swaying slightly. "And I'm already exhausted… not to mention hungry."

"Why don't ya go back and rest a bit?" he suggested. "I'll bring ya breakfast."

"As nice as that sounds, I don't think I could sleep even if I tried." She dropped her head against his shoulder for a moment and sighed heavily.

"Haru…"

"Hmm?"

"What's eatin' ya really? It ain't just Byakuya, is it?"

"I wish I could say it was," she answered. "The truth is I've been so restless… not because of the hollow. I'm just a little concerned… about what Soul Society is going to do about this whole situation."

"Ya still haven't heard anything?" She shook her head against his shoulder and let her eyes drift shut. "Ya still up to going to see Urahara-san today?"

"That is the plan," she answered.

"Then let's eat somethin', and we'll go."

"Eh?" she stammered, glancing up at him. "Really?"

"Why not?"

"I just… thought it would be a little harder to convince you, plus you probably want to put me through hell after our last match…" She stopped talking when his hand fell on her head and shifted slowly from side to side.

"Think nothin' of it, Haru."

"Hai," she said with a broad smile.

"That's the spirit," he murmured. "I been waitin' to see a smile like that since ya got back, and now that I have, I finally feel like I'm gettin' somewhere." Hirako climbed to his feet and offered a hand to Haru, who wrapped her hand around his now mended zanpakutoh and let herself be pulled to her feet. She handed him the sword, and after a moment of scrutiny, he slid it into its sheath, then turned with her steps following faintly behind him. "What's up?"

"Nothing," she answered pensively. "I just wonder… if something is about to happen…"

* * *

><p>In the middle of an intensely real dream, Takumi was awakened by the gentle jostle of his sister's hands. With a groan, he recoiled and threw the blanket over his head. "Takumi, wake up." He appeared and stared at the sunlight, then swore because he was going to be late to the sixth division. Startled, he knelt and rubbed the sleep away from his eyes, then blinked and peered to Mari, whose face was full of sisterly concern.<p>

"This had better be important."

"There's someone here from the first division… he wants to speak with you."

"Eh?" he asked, pushing his hair away from his eyes. "First division?"

"Hai," she answered. "Now, hurry up and get dressed." Takumi numbly processed the words; he was still half-absorbed by his dream. Once his sister slipped out of the room, he pulled his uniform on, tying the eye patch securely in place. It had been such a pleasant dream, sitting there with Hinamori and his captain, just talking.

_Taichou, _he thought, pushing the door open. _Why am I constantly haunted by you? _As he emerged, Mari pushed a cup of tea into his hand and ordered him to drink it. He downed the whole thing before receiving into his hands a bowl of soup, which he swallowed just as quickly. The thought of Hinamori drifted into his head, and he choked.

"Take it easy, otouto."

"Easy for you to say," he shot back, stretching and moving towards the door. "I'll be back."

"You'd better be," she answered. They exchanged smiles before he pushed the door open and peered to the shinigami standing next to the door, patient despite the dire air about him.

"Are you Fujiwara Takumi?"

"Hai," he answered.

"My name is Miyake Akihiko of the first division. I was instructed by Yamamoto-soutaichou to bring you in."

"Bring me in?" Takumi echoed. "Am I being arrested?"

"Iie, not at all," answered the shinigami, waving his hands. "On the contrary, you're being promoted."

"Oh, if that's all it is…" He started following the shinigami, then stopped dead in his tracks when the meaning of the words actually sank in. Hearing the pause in his steps, Miyake turned back and peered at him.

"Is something wrong?"

"I'm _what_?" he demanded vociferously.

"Not so loud, not so loud…" He waved his hands slowly, trying to calm Takumi down. "Look, I don't know everything that's going on, but Yamamoto-soutaichou said he wants to speak with you directly, after which he will give you an official promotion to vice captain."

"Tell him to go to hell. There's only one captain I would answer to."

"Don't be hasty," Miyake said with an amused laugh. "Yare, yare… I've heard you were extreme, but this is just ridiculous."

"I'll tell you what's ridiculous," he stated, seizing his guide by the front of his uniform. "What's ridiculous is being the means to veil the truth, finding that the truth is dead, and then being haunted by said truth every time you shut your damn eyes for a wink of sleep, all this while dealing with one extremely irksome coworker." He didn't feel safe referring to Hinamori in any other manner, for aside from that, nothing between them seemed concrete. "And then, some idiot lackey from the first division comes along and suddenly says, 'You're getting promoted.' Just where the hell do you get off making this even more absurd than it already is?"

"Gomen, gomen." Shocked that the shinigami was still good-natured, Takumi relinquished his grasp and heaved a sigh.

"Iie," he answered. "I'm the one who should apologize. After all, what does my personal life matter to you?" Sighing, he rubbed his head and glanced at the blue sky overhead. "Why am I being promoted?"

"I told you, I didn't know anything. I was only instructed to bring you to the first division, but if you come along with me, then perhaps you'll learn a thing or two." Takumi considered it, said that he had nothing to lose, and followed the shinigami all the way to the first division office. As he stepped into it, an uncomfortable feeling crept across his skin and made him shutter. He had, of course, forgotten the proper barriers against the cold before leaving the house, having been rushed by his sister. After bowing, slightly, Miyake shut the door and withdrew, leaving him alone in a room with the first captain, who was currently scrutinizing the view from his office, and Hinamori, who looked just as bewildered as he was to be there.

"Momo-san." Startled, she glanced up, and then peered to the floor again. Ever since he had bestowed his thanks upon her, she had been awkward and often blushed whenever he said something. Still, knowing that her awkwardness would subside in a few moments, he bided his time and then approached her. "Why are you here?"

"I was summoned about a rearrangement in the seating. You?" He didn't have the heart to tell her. After looking away, Takumi cleared his throat and murmured that he had received the same notification. "It's strange," she murmured, "for him to summon just the two of us, don't you think?"

"It is not strange at all, given the circumstances," stated the captain commander, tapping his staff on the ground and peering at them with wizened eyes. Takumi, unsettled, swallowed the lump in his throat and closed his left hand, shaking it slightly to discourage the lines he felt weaving around his arm. "Fujiwara Takumi, am I in understanding that, roughly two weeks ago, you saw with your eye the demise of one Yamashita Haru?"

"H… hai," he stammered hastily.

"And am I also in understanding that she charged you with keeping the secret of her circumstances on the night that she departed for Hueco Mundo?"

"Hai."

"And is it true that, despite these orders, you shared this information with Hinamori Momo so recklessly as to have others overhear?"

"Please grant me permission to speak, Yamamoto-soutaichou," she said hastily.

"You will remain silent. My question was directed at him."

"Onegai!" she implored.

"Be silent," he ordered, slamming his staff into the floor and causing them both to shudder. "Answer me, Fujiwara Takumi." Hinamori peered at him, noting that his eye was locked on the floor, that both of his fists were now clenched, and that his face was contorted into some kind of bitter expression, as if he knew too late that he had been trapped.

"Hai." She suddenly felt responsible for the whole thing. After all, hadn't she goaded him in some way to tell the truth? Yet she could say nothing at all, not with the captain commander's order looming over her head.

"Explain yourself." He bit back the comment that he needn't explain anything and swallowed all the bitter words he would rather have uttered.

"What is there to explain? I disobeyed my orders."

"Your actions will not have recourse if you give me a suitable answer. Tell me why you spoke as you did."

"Because…" His voice trailed off, and he swallowed before murmuring, "Because… even if that's what she wanted, I couldn't stand to have her name blackened throughout all of Soul Society. Momo-san admires her, and Byakuya… I mean, Kuchiki-taichou… well, that I'm not at liberty to discuss. The truth of the matter is I know her well enough to know that she doesn't want to hurt anyone, especially not him." Genryuusai gave a sound of acknowledgement, then slowly shook his head. Hinamori held her breath, seeing the gleam of shame in Takumi's eyes. His eye flickered to her, and she gave him a weak smile of encouragement. Still, considering the situation, it was no surprise that Takumi didn't return it.

"You still do not understand the real reason you are here, do you?" Perplexed, Takumi raised his eye to the captain commander, who was now peering directly at him. "Listen to yourself speak. Are you trying to ignore something that you've been seeing?"

"Why would I do that?"

"That is something only you can answer," he answered. Takumi's brows fell together, and he bowed his head again, combing through his consciousness for something that he may have missed or ignored. There was nothing, nothing but that old false hope that had blighted his dreams night after agonizing night and had seeped into his thoughts day after day. _Damn it… I don't get this at all._

_Not surprising, _Akumashoku answered. _Beings you've been beating off the truth tooth and nail since that night._

_What the hell are you saying? _His fist closed more hastily than he wanted it to, and he gritted his teeth slightly. _Do you understand what she went through before that moment?_

_Not even you understand that, but it's nothing compared to what she will go through. _Takumi jolted slightly. _Isn't that right… Takumi? _His eye glimmered slightly as he drew a breath, then sank straight to his knees, his shoulders quivering beneath the weight of the revelation that crashed upon him with those mere words. He vaguely perceived Hinamori shaking his shoulder and calling his name, but he didn't say anything. He just pressed a hand over his visible eye and bowed his head.

"She is…" Hinamori swallowed as his eye locked on hers. "Taichou is… the only person who can make this work. She's the only one… who ever really had a chance."

"What are you saying, Takumi? Didn't you say…"

"Souka… you finally understand, Fujiwara Takumi." His eye moved, and for some reason, its luster made her uneasy, especially as he got to his feet and let his hand fall away.

"I understand perfectly well."

"Then you will be more than happy to take your promotion, I presume?"

"Of course."

"Still, something like this… it troubles me… the eye that supposedly sees all was, for an instant at least, clouded. We are lucky for it, but still…"

"My power is far from perfect," he admitted, "due to circumstances I'd rather not speak of."

"Yes, your father…" Genryuusai peered at Takumi and saw much of his father in him. "Still, you are not the demon that he was. Though you despise Byakuya-dono's authority with every fiber of your being, you are considerate enough of your captain to set aside your own feelings, a fine quality for a vice captain, if I do say so myself."

"Arigato, Yamamoto-soutaichou," he responded, bowing.

"Matte kudasai," Hinamori requested, peering at them both. "I… I don't… I still don't…"

"I expect you two to keep quiet. Considering the correspondence of the attacks here with those in the human world, Aizen still isn't quite sure of the way things stand." Takumi nodded firmly. "You are rather receptive of this rearrangement. I expected some resistance."

"What is there to resist? It's the opportunity I've been waiting for."

"What about Hinamori?"

"She understands," he answered, smiling and tilting his head back. "I'll explain everything afterwards," he murmured. "Just go with it."

"Hai…" she answered hesitantly. "If you know what you're doing…"

"Since when haven't I?" he said confidently, grinning in a manner that was characteristically himself. "Just give me a chance, will you?" The words made her blush to her ears, and he chuckled, smiling at the deeper meaning in those words. "Can you trust me?"

"I… don't know what you're asking?"

"This is work," Takumi said. "I'm asking you if you can trust me as the vice captain of this division. What else would I be talking about?" The glint in his eye told her full well that he knew full well the answer to his own question, but she didn't say anything. "If you can't, then say so clearly. Otherwise, I'm not taking the promotion I'm being offered here."

"If you don't take this promotion, I'll never forgive you."

"Then you can trust me?"

"I can," she answered firmly, and for some reason, he detected a hint of something else in it, too, something that made him anxious in a way that he wouldn't show in an office.

"You heard her," Takumi said. "She trusts me, and I know she'll be there to help me if I screw up. I trust her to back me up while I'm getting used to things, so I've got no reason to object to what you're proposing, Yamamoto-soutaichou."

"Then the arrangement shall be as follows. Hinamori Momo, you will take the vacant seat of sanseki under the pretense of your health, and from this day forward, you, Fujiwara Takumi, will serve as go bantai fukutaichou." He removed an item from the drawer in his desk and presented it to the startled Takumi. "Your captain will be returning in a few days. She says she still has some unfinished business in the human world. You are dismissed. Oh, and I expect you not to mention this matter at all, not to each other, and certainly not to Byakuya-dono."

"Hai," they responded in unison. They left the office together, and all was well until they reached the open air, at which point, Takumi leaned against the wall and breathed a loud sigh of relief.

"I can breathe again, thank the gods…"

"Nani? Does he make you nervous?"

"If you saw his reiatsu, then you would be nervous, too."

"True, but I've known he was incredibly powerful from the beginning, or else why would the other captains let him stay in office for as long as he has?" Takumi nodded in agreement. "Would you mind telling me what just happened?"

"You haven't figured it out yet? Don't tell me you've given up insisting that taichou is alive."

"But you said she wasn't."

"I was wrong." He paused briefly. "I'm fine with disobeying his orders if it's to make you understand."

"Takumi…"

"I was wrong," he interrupted, throwing his eyes away from her. "I'm sorry… I didn't believe in that same hope. Will you forgive me, Momo-san?" Her eyes widened slightly, and a flash of anger came across her face. "You're mad."

"If I am, it's because you just apologized for nothing." His disappointment melted away, and he forced himself to swallow as she whirled to her and placed her hands on her hips. "You'd better not turn into a hypocrite, or else I'll make your life as a vice captain a living hell. You got that?"

"Hai."

"That didn't sound convincing at all."

"I said I got it!"

"Good," she answered, taking the object he had been given out of his hands and unwrapping it. "Left arm or right?"

"What are you going to do?"

"Just answer the question."

"Left," he said at last, and to his surprise, she stepped to his left and started tying that badge to his arm, the one that marked him as the vice captain. She did so with the utmost care, and he tried to stand still while she did it, but he kept trying to watch her move with his exposed right eye and found it increasingly difficult. Her hands worked with rapidity and diligence. Then, she drew away, pressing her fingers against the grooves carved into the badge. "Hmm… they changed the division flower?"

"Eh? What is it?"

"A lotus."

"Lotus, huh?" He grinned and shrugged slightly. "It suits me just fine," he stated as he began to pace along the road. "I think it fits the situation quite well, if I do say so myself."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because though it roots in filthy water, the lotus produces a beautiful blossom. Does that remind you of someone we know?"

"It's true that she has risen above her past quite well."

"I was referring to you," he answered with another grin. "Though I must say, the concept applies to all of us in one way or another, myself included. If we can rise above the darkness in our pasts and attain a purpose… well, that is a thing of beauty in itself, isn't it?" He paused when he didn't hear her following and glanced back for a moment. He read so many nuances in her expression he hadn't seen before, not all of them related to the promotion. He swallowed and bowed, rubbing the back of his head contemplatively. "Are you sure… you're alright with this?"

"If I were sure, then would I have called you the vice captain?"

"I suppose not," Takumi answered, letting the true matter go. "Hey."

"Hmm?"

"You can still call me Takumi even when we are at work. I don't mind at all."

"I would like that." That seemed to cheer her up a bit. She followed him as he paced forward. He certainly walked as if he had authority, but at the same time, it was clear to her that he would do nothing to abuse it. That spring in his step and that dangerous glimmer in his eye… those were the marks of confidence. It was nice to see that the confidence she had in him was something he now possessed for himself.

* * *

><p>Shinji stood in wait, drumming his fingers against his bicep as he studied Haru in her usual gigai with the embroidered trench coat around her shoulders. He tried to discern the nature of the news from the expression on her face, but he found that some kind of wall prevented him from doing so, a wall of complete and total focus. Her eyes were fluid and brilliant, the gentle curve of her back suggested that her attention rested on one object, and her lips were parted slightly. Everything about her suggested the condition of her mind, including the gentle curve of her index finger, on which rested an insect despite the late season, and yet, he could not put a word to it. "Come on," he muttered, tapping his foot. "I ain't got all day, and it's dangerous to stay out in the open."<p>

As if she heard him, Haru rose to her feet and released the butterfly, which drifted through the air and out of sight, no doubt on a return mission to whence it had come. "Well?"

"As of now, I am officially go bantai taichou. As I requested, Momo-san has been installed in the third seat and Takumi as my vice captain. I have seventy-two hours, at which point I must return to Soul Society for a briefing and the official promotion."

"Yare, yare," Shinji muttered. "I can't believe ya actually went through with it."

"Well, I have caused you and Hiyori-san so much trouble already…"

"Nah, we're always happy to have ya around, Haru-sama. It makes things more lively."

"Anyway, sorry for the delay…"

"Don't ya go apologizin' again," he retorted. "Let's just go already." Haru nodded her head and resumed her place behind him, holding the violin case between her hands and swaying gently as she walked. It was cold that day, and a touch of rain lingered in the air, but nature hadn't quite decided what to do with that precipitation yet, whether it would fall in fluid form or as a fine white powder over the ground below. Haru regarded the bleak sky without thought. More than ever, she was missing the glasses that had undoubtedly been knocked off in Hueco Mundo. Her eyes meandered the line of houses, examined every roof, peered down every alley… it was like a foreign world to her now. That aside, she still perceived the faint yet familiar reiatsu of the sexta espada, who likely lingered somewhere or other yet was currently not taking action.

_If he attempts anything, then I will have to fight him, _she resolved with a woeful sigh. _And that will be, for lack of better terms, a pain and a half in the ass._

"Oi, Haru… ya listenin'?"

"Hai!" she said loudly, drawing the gazes of several people passing through. "G… gomenasai. My mind wandered for a moment. Say it once more, please."

"I was only sayin' that this is gonna be a long winter."

"Indeed." She knew that his comment did not merely refer to the weather. "But we'll be alright."

"I'd like to hear you say that after ya've stepped on the battlefield."

"I already have," she answered, "or does my little stint before leaving Hueco Mundo not count?"

"It don't count for nothin'," he declared adamantly. "Imagine that, only accompanied by the battle cries of yer own troops and the dyin' screams of those who can't keep up."

"A pleasant thought… however, considering I saw both of my parents die, I presume that my psyche will be more than capable of handling it."

"It ain't the death itself I'm worried about. It's the scale, and the chaos. Tragic as it is, yer parents were nothin' compared to war. It's enough to change a person… ya'll never be the same." He frowned and peered down at her to find that, though she was focusing on his words, her eyes were not on him. Instead, they shifted to and fro, focusing occasionally on the faces of passersby, but more frequently darting entirely to the side. "Somethin' wrong?"

"We're being followed," she answered softly. Shinji said nothing; he simply slid his hands into his pockets. They exchanged glances, then continued on, Haru pulling a bit ahead, the vizard lagging behind. When someone in a hurry tried to jostle past him, he seized the man by the collar, and Haru took off at a run.

"Let go of me!"

"Iie," Shinji answered, ignoring the public attention that erupted from the cry. "Truth is, ya look like you were followin' that girl a little too eagerly." He opened his mouth to speak again, and Shinji tightened his grip, just enough to make the man aware of his strength. "Now, if ya were intendin' to harm her, I can't simply let ya go…"

"I have business with her."

"That ain't what she told me," he said in a low tone.

"Well, then she's lying!"

"Spare me," Shinji retorted. "Besides, she sucks at lyin'." The man attempted once more to get away, but failed to do so. He altered his grip momentarily, then jerked the man forward so that they were eye to eye. "Listen here," he said in a low, threatening tone. "She wants nothin' to with whatever business ya got with her, so I suggest ya leave her alone. Ya wouldn't want to make me mad, would ya? Besides, I'm a pacifist. I don't much like conflict…" By some stroke of luck, his captive pulled away and raced after Haru. "Yare, yare," he sighed, rubbing the back of his head. "I didn't even get to mention that she's probably ten times worse than I am…"

_That man… _Haru considered him as she rounded the corner. _He's definitely from the Yamashita clan. That must mean I haven't I made my intentions clear enough. A haiku and my hair… that's all it usually takes, or perhaps I veiled the language too much. _Haru shot down an alleyway and listened to the clicking of her boots echoing off the walls. Behind her, she heard another echo, that of her pursuer. Haru emerged and doubled back. She couldn't possibly risk him following her to Urahara's shop; even if he couldn't see it, he would more than likely just wait around for her until she was finished. _Kuso… a delay is the last thing I need, considering the cargo I've got. _Tentatively, she peered to her violin case before realizing that her pursuer had cut her off and attempted to seize her. Only by stealth was she spared of capture; she pivoted on one foot around the grab and threw the weight of her violin case against his stomach as she stepped around him. Then, she was off at top speed again as if the devil himself were on her heels. _To escape one captivity, only to find that I am at risk of entering into another… this is utterly absurd. _

Haru spotted the crosswalk ahead, and seeing that it was flashing made her stomach sink. _Kuso… I'll never make it. _She shut her eyes for a moment to muster every ounce of her speed. Then, she shot forward. Her first foot struck the intersection as the light changed, and she was fortunate enough that the cars coming from either direction were not traveling fast enough to be of any concern to her, although they did honk in frustration at the delay she caused. As she crossed over to the other side, she paused and peered back, seeing her baffled pursuer. She then turned to continue, not expecting a few moments later, when the traffic light had changed again, to be grabbed from behind. Her heart skipped a beat, and her mind filled with only one thought: escape. Haru thrust a heel against his knee, elbowed him in the ribs, and slammed her fist into his chin. The final blow convinced him to release her, but he was a tenacious individual. He wiped the blood away from his lip and reached out for her again. After drawing a deep breath, she wrapped both hands around her violin case and whirled right towards him. The audacity of her move left him stunned, and she pivoted around him as if such movements were as natural as breathing. _Obviously a human… _she thought as she peered over her shoulder. _He's capable of keeping up with me in thought, but not in anything else. _

With the pursuit renewed, she whirled into another gap between two buildings. Fortunately, she was ahead enough that her pursuer rushed right past her temporary hiding place without discovering her. Exhausted, Haru slumped to the ground and allowed herself to breathe again, gasping for air as if glutting herself on the fine flavor of the cusp of winter. After forcing herself to her feet, Haru paced forward, her eyes shifting from one wall to another as she tried to put the situation into perspective. She still had the faint notion that she was being followed, but who her pursuer was, much less his whereabouts, were at present unclear to her.

As she was preparing to pass out of the alley, a figure came between her and the light, startling her into what was nearly a faint cry of surprise, but he covered her mouth before so much as a peep left it. "Grimmjow-san…"

"Run," he stated.

"Eh?"

"Shut up and run." To emphasize his point, he gave her a shove in the right direction. Startled, Haru peered over her shoulder for a moment and tried to analyze his motives. "Go!" he growled. Any further effort was pointless. She took off at a run, letting her mind go entirely numb as her legs carried her. She was vaguely aware of her surroundings, of the people she staggered around, of the increasing difficulty with which she drew her breaths, but her path finally took her to the riverbank, where she slowed to a stop and knelt by the water. Not shirking at its temperature, she took a handful and inhaled it, gasping for breath for a moment before taking another. The third, she pressed her face into for a moment, just to remove some of the heat. She found herself looking at her reflection in the stream.

_It's strange that I would wind up here again, _she thought, shaking her head. _Almost like the first time._ Her eyes drifted shut for a moment, and when her scrutiny continued, she found that she had been followed. "Why are you here, Grimmjow-san?" She said it without turning around, but she did look his reflection straight in the eye. His reflection peered at her own for a moment, then the eyes drifted away. "Shouldn't you be trying to kill me, or haul me back to Hueco Mundo?" In his usual stubborn nature, he withheld any form of an answer, which eventually made Haru sigh with impatience and get to her feet. "Do what you want. I don't care. Just don't make me more indebted to you…"

"Che," he growled. "That debt shit's a waste of time."

"It is part of my family pride."

"Yeah, some family that must be. You plan on running from them forever, don't you?" Haru leered at him and half considered giving him a good shove in the water's direction, but somehow, it didn't seem fair. "We're even."

"Eh?" she stammered.

"I said we're even."

"Doushite?"

"If I don't, you'll torment yourself over it."

"That doesn't answer my question. And why would you care, anyway?" Haru returned. Grimmjow stared blankly at her, his eyes tempted by the perfect opportunity to destroy her, but for some reason, the look she gave him, the glimmer in her violet eyes that lingered somewhere between joy and sorrow, kept him immobilized, just as it had all those years ago.

"Nande?" he said flatly. "Why did you save me?" Haru held her coat shut and bowed her head for a moment to think.

"Because I didn't want to believe in the line that divides us." Haru lifted her eyes to the sun and with her free hand reached for it. Her quincy cross, broken once again, glistened and swayed as she stretched out her hand and caressed the orb's shape with her fingers. "Short though it may be, I've fought it all my life… the boundaries people draw between one another. Maybe I wanted to think that there was no line between shinigami and hollow. I've never understood, and I'll probably never understand, why we have to kill each other. In my naivety, I dared to dream of peace, but now…" She smiled bitterly and paused. "Now I see that it is impossible."

"Then you regret it?" Haru considered his question.

"Somehow, I don't." Something about his posture revealed that he was startled by the answer she gave him.

"You're impossible."

"I presumed you wanted an honest answer, Grimmjow-san."

"Don't patronize me," the espada growled, whirling away from her. He paused for a moment, then said again, "We're even."

"But I don't understand how…"

"A life for a life." Haru recollected Hueco Mundo, both her first day there and one incident regarding Nnoitora… yet hadn't he more than paid his debt by saving her twice in return? She shook her head and sighed, bowing her head under the weight of her thoughts.

"Matte, Grimmjow-san."

"Just take it for what it is, chibi roku."

"I told you before, I'm not little, and I'm not a six!"

"Well, you look pretty scrawny to me, chibi roku."

"Baka! If I weren't in my gigai, I would crack your damn skull open!"

"I'd like to see you try it!"

"Get the hell over here, and I will!" Haru stopped and listened to herself, then dipped her head and turned away with a smile. "Kuso… this is just too much. It's just like the first time." She paused and pressed a hand to her head. "Are you… going to tell Aizen you saw me?"

"What are you even talking about?" he retorted. "I didn't see anything." Suddenly, she understood his words, the mutual agreement to simply let each other go. Haru walked until she felt Grimmjow's reiatsu disappear before she pressed a hand over her eyes again. Despite his words, she felt no less indebted to him than she had when she first recollected their unusual encounter during her childhood. Even so, she endeavored to believe his words and find comfort in them, knowing that she could no more pursue this absurd and unending debt than obliterate the permanently etched line between shinigami and hollow. Even so, the fact that he had gone so far out of his way to preserve her liberty brought a faint smile to her face.

The wind shifted past her. It was time to keep moving. After drawing a breath and clearing her mind, she turned her footsteps back in the direction of Urahara's shop. Haru immediately became absorbed in what reactions they could possibly have. Ishida would probably be angry at first, but it was in his nature to be forgiving with her. She could already see Urahara grinning in his usual way, more than likely amused by the stunt she had pulled. There was one person she couldn't predict, though, and it hung over her head like a storm cloud as she paced the streets carrying her violin. It troubled her more than it should have. _I should know you better than this, Rukia-san, but you've never really acted predictably. _Haru shook her head after a moment of consideration and paused, staring at her hands. _Come to think of it, I've never really taken the time to figure her out. Considering my current position, I probably should at least make an effort. _

The calm quietude of normality settled in. Haru couldn't hold back a sigh of relief. It had been a long time since she felt things were normal. It made her a little drowsy, that overwhelming feeling of peace, but for some reason, her guard wouldn't drop enough for her to fully feel that sensation. Haru raised her eyes and pushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear, then turned around and peered at the person behind her. Haru's expression remained fixed for a moment as she examined the disbelief, and she tried her best to give a reassuring smile. She was surprised she was recognizable to someone she had only seen a handful of times. When she realized her studier had no intention of speaking, she did so herself in a distant yet collected tone. "It's been a while," Haru murmured, smoothing the other half of her hair before adding, "Kuchiki Rukia-san."

* * *

><p>Well, hopefully you are glad that is over, because now you get a Japanese lesson. Huzzah!<p>

Betsuni: Nothing

Yare, yare: Well, well

Hai: Yes

Nande: Why

Baka: Stupid

Nani: What

Daijoubu: It's fine

Souka: I see

Matte: Wait

Iie: No

Otouto: Younger brother

Gomen: Apology

Onegai: Please

Matte kudasai: Please wait

Gomenasai: Formal apology

Kuso: Japanese swear word. ^_^

Doushite: How

Chibi roku: Little six; one of several nicknames Grimmjow gives Haru.

Next chapter will be up as soon as I find my motivation, edit a thesis chapter, read 6 books, etc. etc. Thanks again, and until next time, happy reading~


	4. Chapter 4: Fraternity

A/N: Hooray! Another chapter of the fanepic hot off the press! This was originally part of chapter 3, but I'm glad that I split it. You're lucky I'm sleepy tonight… this will be a short A/N. Hugs to everyone who has continued reading, but hugs especially to my reviewers: Juliedoo, BeautifulXinXBlood, lostfeather, yukichan10, Almathia (formerly ladydeath100), and finally animegurl9871.

Enjoy this Christmas present. I hope to have another chapter up by New Year's. My resolution for next year (or one of them, at least) is to wrap this up. No worries, though… something tells me it's going to take a while. *devious grin*

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 4: Fraternity<em>

"Yare, yare," Shinji retorted, trying not to grow more impatient than he already had. Somehow, sitting around a table with Ichigo and all of his companions was not on the day's agenda. It had been far too long. He was about to make some excuse to leave, but the grim condition of the company made him linger. "Ain't ya even tryin' to enjoy the break I've been givin' you with all those hollow?"

"It's not that," Ichigo retorted, sighing and letting his head fall on the table. "We've got an exam Monday, a really tough one, and we can't really afford much time here… well, except for Ishida. He's already memorized the text, the lecture notes, and the study guide from cover to cover."

"Urusai!" he commanded.

"Maybe you ought to quit killing them, Hirako-san, though your motives for doing so are still unclear." Urahara flicked his wrist and hid his expression behind his fan. His smoky eyes peered out from beneath the brim of his hat. "I thought you hated shinigami."

"Yeah, well, maybe I just hate hollow more."

"Then you can feel them?" Hirako shook his head and released a sigh. "I figured as much."

"Do you know what's going on, then?" Ichigo inquired.

"No, but I'm starting to have an idea. The proof will come if I can be patient enough for it." He flipped his fan opened and peered out from the brim of his hat with a very amused look. Ishida exchanged glances with Chad and Orihime, who seemed not to perceive that Urahara was withholding something, or else they did and lacked interest.

"Oi," Shinji noted suddenly. "Ain't there usually one more with ya?"

"You must mean Kuchiki-san," Orihime put in.

"Kuchiki?" Since when were they on familiar terms with Byakuya? From what he remembered of that family, they weren't very familiar with anyone, let alone a bunch of humans with spiritual powers.

"Rukia," Ichigo supplemented, guessing what the vizard was thinking. "I doubt Byakuya would come here for anything, but Rukia came back a couple of weeks ago." That was the closest he got to the subject, knowing full well that it still lingered very closely to Ishida. He glanced to the quincy to see his reaction, but Ishida pushed his glasses up in an uncharacteristically doleful manner. Ichigo imagined that he must hate himself for not being able to change the situation. He knew because he would feel the same way if it had been one of his sisters. After releasing a breath, he leaned on his arm and threw his eyes to the corner of the room, silently apologizing to Ishida for having brought up a painful memory, but Ishida seemed quite suddenly occupied with something else.

"Ishida?" Chad asked as the quincy got up.

"I just felt Kuchiki-san's reiatsu," he stated. Ichigo immediately got to his feet.

"I'll go."

"Iie," Ishida answered.

"Don't be selfish, Ishida, and don't be reckless, either."

"You're the one who's being reckless, or have you forgotten that you have a test to study for?"

"Screw the test. This is more important," Ichigo declared. "Besides, I'll muddle through like I always do. It'll be fine."

"You shouldn't go."

"You can't change my mind, Ishida."

"Damn it, Kurosaki! Why can't you just mind your own business for once?"

"'Cause Rukia's my friend, and I'm not just going to sit by and wait for something to happen to her!"

"Oi, oi… neither of you are goin' anywhere, not unless I go, too…"

"You stay out of this!" they shouted in unison. Hirako blinked, then grinned and glanced away.

"Suit yerself, but if you die, don't come cryin' to me." He looked fully intent on staying there, even if they begged him to go, so they left without another word. Orihime moved to go after them, but Chad touched her shoulder and shook his head.

"Demo, Sado-kun…"

"The hollow that have been coming are too strong for us to deal with," he stated. "We'll be better off here."

"They're a pain in the ass," Hirako declared, stretching and getting to his feet. "I'll make sure those two hotheads stay outta trouble."

"That's something I never expected to hear from you," Urahara chuckled.

"Yeah, well… someone's gotta watch over these damn kids and make sure they don't get themselves killed."

"Still, it's very unlike you to help a shinigami…"

"Oi, oi, oi! I ain't doin' it for them!"

"Then there _is_ some ulterior motive behind this visit." Hirako scoffed and grinned. It was just like Urahara to see through him. Still, he wouldn't give the ex-captain the benefit of figuring out exactly what the reason was.

"It ain't my story to tell," he stated, sliding through the door and shutting it behind him.

"Well, he certainly is interesting," Orihime said cheerfully once he had been gone for a few seconds and the silence became overwhelming.

"You don't know the half of it," Urahara replied, closing his fan and laying it on the table. "Even so, something tells me that he's not half as interesting as the reason that he's here."

* * *

><p>Haru leapt backwards and watched as that sword came too close for comfort again. It was no use. In a gigai, she could run from her family, but she couldn't defend herself against anything of a more spiritual nature. She had been keeping up with Rukia's movements decently ever since the unexpected charge, the hasty movement of a katana, the overwhelming sense of shock that nearly drowned her. She kept one hand on her violin case. With the other, she gauged the distance between herself and her adversary. The more she thought about it, the less surprised she was that she was perceived as an enemy. She had implored Rukia to put away her weapon twice already, but to no avail. "Rukia-san, matte," she pleaded, leaping back and finding her back against a wall. Just as the sword fell, she dove out of the blade's path and scrambled to her feet because she was already being attacked again. "Matte!" she cried more emphatically. Haru cast a glance at the discarded gigai, the one Rukia hadn't even bothered to fill with a gikongan before ejecting herself from it and racing directly at Haru several minutes before.<p>

_Kuso… I can't be delayed, _she thought, taking her eyes off of Rukia and glancing at the violin case. "Rukia-san, I understand you're a little upset…"

"Upset?" She swung her sword and nearly cut Haru's face, but by some turn of fortune, Haru managed to dodge. Detecting a lull in the action, Haru hunched over and tried to catch at least some of her breath, but she couldn't ignore the words Rukia threw at her. "You turned your back on Soul Society. You abandoned people who were willing to work under you. But worst of all, you left my brother!" Haru twisted her body around the katana and staggered out of view. All the movement was beginning to get to her. Still, she couldn't let herself be pulled out. Someone had to make sure that violin case got to where it needed to go, considering the bounty she had in tow. "Do you have any idea what that did to him?" she continued, cutting downwards and forcing Haru to use her agility again.

"Damn it, I've been trying to tell you, it's not what you think!" Haru stumbled and sank to the ground with a hiss. It was futile to stay in that body. Otherwise, she may wind up right where she started, and if she wanted that haori, she would have to leave it. Still, she couldn't just abandon that violin case. Rukia didn't give her any more time to think than that. Without another moment's hesitation, Haru yanked the bracelet attaching her soul to that body off and threw it against the pavement. Her gigai fell away, and Haru retreated to safety using her shunpo. A trickle of blood ran town her right arm, but she had managed to seize the instrument case before leaping away.

"You have some nerve, still wearing that uniform. A traitor like you doesn't deserve the honor." Haru threw her weight before the blade could catch her skin again and ascended to a nearby roof. She couldn't comment on how she wouldn't do so without reason. She had to keep dodging the edge of Rukia's zanpakutoh, which was released but whose attack forms had not been used.

"Sode no shirayuki," Byakuya had said one evening in the past, "is the most beautiful sword in Soul Society. It is second to none, not even Suzaku, though I do admire its aesthetics when you give me time."

"Can you tell me anything else about it?"

"Like your sword, it has multiple attack forms. All of them are aimed at freezing the enemy." He had shifted slightly and propped himself up on his elbow, taking a moment to gaze at the still mildly interested Haru before adding, "If you are ever up against it, though I cannot see how you would ever fall into that situation, then be careful not to get too close unless you are confident Suzaku can thaw you out."

With that wisdom in mind, Haru had kept her distance and constantly watched the sword weave through the air. Rukia's hold on it hadn't changed… until the moment she stopped to think about it. The point of the katana was facing the ground, and a white disk had appeared beneath her feet. "Sode no mai: tsukishiro." Nothing but stealth saved Haru. She leapt out of the attack just as a pillar of ice rose to meet the heavens. She gazed at it for a moment and withheld even her sigh of relief for admiration's sake.

"Sugoi." Haru hardly felt the word leave her lips before a similar disk of light appeared beneath her. She flashed aside as another pillar of ice rose skyward. _Speed seems to be a component of her fighting style. It reminds me of something I've dealt with before, but what? _Haru's hand fell to her own sword, and she paused again. She hadn't meant to touch it at all. It was almost as if her fingers had been drawn to it like iron to a magnet, or like a moth to the flames. _Suzaku, _she said silently, moving her fingers along the wooden sword. _That must be it. Speed and power… it's a lot like the way I fought before. However… _Rukia attacked from the left, and she drew, making an upward cut that forced her zanpakutoh to retreat. _My style has changed. Speed is no longer a mere component for me. It isn't a crutch that makes up for what I lack in power. It is essential. Without it, I cannot fight. _Haru turned towards Rukia and raised her sword, wrapping her hand tightly around the violin case. Her sudden determination must have caused Rukia some surprise. The expression on her face changed instantaneously but was soon replaced by the same loathing.

"What nii-sama saw in someone like you… I can't even fathom it."

"Do you hate the fact that I'm with him, Rukia-san?"

"Don't patronize me!" Haru adjusted her hold and blocked the two-handed strike. Her feet slid only slightly across the pavement.

"I seem to have touched a nerve." Rukia answered with her sword. She rammed Haru back and raced forward, swinging a number of times and directions, but they all had the same result. Haru blocked, though clumsily, the half-dozen strikes meant to wound her or worse. In one instant, she had turned the tables and taken the offensive, forcing Rukia to retreat before she broke the line of movement and turned it into a circle. Haru watched her opponent and counted her steps as their rotation changed. She still only fought with her right hand. No matter how badly Haru wanted to employ the seele, it just wasn't plausible. She would have to release her violin case, and what was more, she would probably have to see Rukia as an enemy, too. She could use that technique against Hirako easily, but wounding Byakuya's sister… no. Although she was forced to silence by the barrage of blows from Rukia's zanpakutoh, she couldn't use it. She was left with little choice but to block and strike when she could because she wasn't about to release what she had traveled dimensions through to retrieve.

Rukia withdrew suddenly, and Haru took several steps back. Before she could make any other counterattack, she staggered and gasped for breath. When had Rukia had time to mutter the incantation for a bakudo? It didn't make much of a difference, now. She was trapped with her arms pinned at her sides. Haru shifted her eyes and drew a breath, but she found it increasingly difficult once she glanced at Rukia. She was using the same hold as before, but it was somehow different. The disk of white light that had appeared over her now appeared below Rukia, and she punctured the ground four times before lifting her sword. "Matte, Rukia-san! I have to tell you something!"

"Tsugi no mai." As horror sank in, Haru tried once again to step back. She had always enjoyed rikujokoro, but on the receiving end, it lost most of its appeal. She had to think of something, and quickly, or else she would… "Hakuren." Haru disappeared behind a wave of ice, and Rukia sighed. It was over, but she somehow, wasn't satisfied. She had hardly reciprocated the pain that girl had caused her adoptive brother, let alone that she had caused everyone else in Soul Society. Ichigo hadn't been the same since. He kept going on about a promise Haru had forced him to make when she had used her bankai against him. Ishida was in a constant daze of grief and longing. To find out that she wasn't dead… and the fact that she was audacious enough to show her face… but none of that mattered anymore. As she turned her back on a sea of ice, something made her hesitate. She looked back and saw that the ice was disintegrating. Suddenly, it burst into a million shards, and in the midst of them stood Haru holding her shikai in one hand and her seele in the other.

"Impossible," Rukia murmured.

"Not so much." Haru seemed a little dispossessed, but she still had a firm grasp on her sanity. Rukia got the feeling that she had killed a lot of hollow in that state. "I'm supposed to be getting a promotion soon. If I weren't confident in my own strength, then I wouldn't accept the honor."

"Honor?" Rukia raised her sword and threw Haru a venomous leer. "How you can throw the word around so lightly after doing what you have… it's despicable. You use the word so lightly…" Haru gave her a look that expressed her expectation that Rukia had more to say, but she could say nothing for a moment. Her lips remained frozen in hatred, in fear, in something… Haru wasn't sure what. "You aren't worthy of him," Rukia said. Haru raised a brow, and Rukia leered at her again. "You aren't worthy of nii-sama!" For some reason, those words bothered her, so much so that she lowered one of her weapons and bowed her head. It touched some part of her she had long forgotten. That old insecurity, the one she had first felt when her feelings began developing, suddenly reared its head, and after all she had done, she couldn't deny it. She still wasn't even sure if Byakuya would forgive her despite all of his promises. It wasn't his word that she doubted, but the strain that the circumstances had probably put on it. Her grip wavered, then tightened as her vision cleared and something hot raced down her face. "You aren't going to fight me? You're more of a coward than I thought."

That did it. In an instant, Haru was in front of her. She hadn't even bothered to wipe the tears away. The unspeakable darkness in her eyes, the fury flitting between them, the clear affront on her pride… she put them all behind her sword and swung. Rukia blocked, but Haru's other weapon was already in motion. She escaped, but her opponent kept swinging in a manner that suggested no thought, but the power and accuracy of Haru's weapons were more than enough to convince Rukia that something, possibly some instinct, rested behind them. Reading it as another sure sign of betrayal, she did her best to counter. Haru was faster than she had bargained for, and far more powerful than a being without reiatsu should have been. Still, she held her own and bided her time.

The opening was small, but Rukia took full advantage of it. She thrust a foot against Haru's stomach and sent her flying against a wall, where she sank to the ground with a terrible-sounding cough. As Rukia raised her sword to end it, something caught the blade from behind and pulled it from her grasp. Her heart skipped a single beat, and she turned, expecting to find a hollow of sorts ready to kill her, but it was only Ishida, with Ichigo not far behind him. The orange-haired shinigami stopped running when he caught sight of Rukia's opponent, whom he had expected to be a hollow. He held back, not knowing exactly how to react. Ishida wasn't so cautious; he rushed forward and grasped Haru's shoulders to ascertain that she was real, then shook her slightly when she didn't respond.

"Haru-sama… Haru-sama!" She blinked and peered at him with a broken and almost pathetic gaze. Tears still rimmed the edges of her eyelids, but she didn't release them. They regarded each other for a moment until Haru could restrain herself no more. She smiled, raising a hand to wipe her eyes and laughing slightly at the dumbfounded expression on his face.

"Tadaima, Ishi-nii." Ishida's expression changed instantly, and he fell against her shoulder and threw his arms around her neck, drawing a slight hiss of pain from her that was in no way a deterrent. Haru sighed and allowed her grip to loosen. "That's just like you," she sighed, wrapping one hand around his shoulders and touching the back of his head. "No explanations, no demands for the truth, nothing but that unwavering trust you've always put in me."

"Baka!" he shouted against her shoulder. "First, you make me think you're a traitor, and then, you make me think you're dead? You're always so damn reckless, just like your father was…" Haru's eyes drifted closed. She hadn't forgotten about Rukia. She had, however, decided to put her on hold for the moment because her brother seemed more important. At last, she let go of her zanpakutoh and wrapped her other arm around Ishida's shoulders. She knew she didn't need to say anything because Ishida understood the situation perfectly well. He remained against her shoulder for some time, trembling with what she assumed to be unreleased sobs of joy. Rukia withdrew, coaxed away by Ichigo to a safe enough distance to give them room. When Ishida at last stirred, he lifted his glasses and rubbed his eyes against her shoulder before drawing away. Haru let him go with a sigh and picked herself up. She had hoped he would stay there longer, for the sake of delaying what business needed to be taken care of, but something else soon delayed it. Haru raised her hand and fired a kidou without so much as a word in a seemingly random direction. Ichigo and Rukia turned just fast enough to see the body of a hollow disintegrating. It had been leaning over her violin case, which she had abandoned in a maddened moment of fury but apparently had not forgotten.

"Good shot," Hirako commented.

"I didn't see you lifting a finger."

"Hey, it's not my job anymore. Besides, I've kind of got my hands full." He gestured to the gigai he was holding,

"Hirako-san," Ichigo said. "What's going on?"

"I'll explain everything," Haru stated, sheathing her sword and retrieving her violin case, "but I'd rather do it when everyone is together. I don't think I can handle it more than once, not right now, at least."

"Oi, remember what Hachi said. If yer feelin' dizzy…"

"I'm perfectly fine," Haru stated, rising to her feet and pacing forward with that troubled look she frequently wore. "To be on the safe side, I'd like to get back into my gigai, if you will permit me a moment."

"What safety will that provide ya?" Hirako demanded. Haru's gaze shifted to Rukia for a moment, then to her violin case, then to the sky. They kept moving, as if she expected something, or someone, to jump out at her again. She was still in the process of learning to trust her surroundings again. It hadn't helped that her family had once again tried to force her into a line of communication, nor had Rukia's ambush improved matters, nor had Grimmjow's sudden appearance put her mind at ease. She handed the vizard her violin and took her gigai herself, making sure that she had the bracelet in tow. She didn't move far, just far enough away to clear her mind. Haru sank to her knees, not because of pain or weariness, but because the thoughts going through her mind were less than desirable at the moment. She pressed a hand against it, then lifted the bracelet and moved it in the sunlight. For some reason, the light wasn't cooperating and being steady, but something blocked it before she could get too engrossed in her scrutiny.

"Rukia-san," she said without looking at the figure that had cut off her light.

"I feel like I owe you an apology." Haru's violet eyes flashed, but she didn't remove them from their current source. "I may have said some things… that hurt your feelings, and I assumed the worst without even asking…"

"You don't have a reason to apologize. Besides, I probably would have done the same thing if I were in your place." Haru shut her eyes. She never liked keeping them open when she was going into a gigai any more than she liked keeping them open as she was leaving one. The feeling of solidity washed over her through a temporary darkness, and she slid the band of metal over her right wrist before her soul could break free again. Haru rubbed her eyes, flexed her fingers a couple of times, and leaned against the wall for a moment, not bothering to get up because she knew she probably wouldn't be able to. "Maybe I'm the one who should apologize. I sort of lost myself in the midst of things." Haru laughed uneasily and rubbed the back of her head. "I hope I didn't hurt you, Rukia-san. To be honest, that was why I was holding back. I thought that if I did any harm to you, then Byakuya-sama may not be so forgiving."

"What are you talking about?" she inquired. Haru smiled and dropped her head for a moment. "I don't understand. What does harming me have anything to do with it?" She let out a laugh, not a condescending or demeaning one, but one that demonstrated her slight amusement with the subject. "Haru-dono…"

"You don't realize how serious things got between us." She turned her head to the side, and the eye that showed was clearly pensive. "I can't say what they will be in the future, but before I left, a lot of things happened to make me hope I would never have to fight you. Something tells me Byakuya-sama wouldn't much care to see his sister fighting… well, as I've said, I'm not even sure what I am to him now. A month is a long time to deceive anyone. I usually only do so for a few days at most, and even then, it's only when necessary. I don't much like it, especially when it's someone important to me." Haru forced herself to her feet and staggered a bit, but she steadied herself after another moment and peered between the buildings at the sun overhead and the clouds languidly drifting across the sky. "I understand how you feel about your brother. I feel the same way about mine. I want him to meet someone worthy of his affections, someone who returns them, someone who sees every side of him and can take the good with the bad, but more than anything, I want to protect him."

"That's absurd!" Rukia interjected. "Me wanting to protect nii-sama… it's absolutely ludicrous when he's so much stronger than I am. Besides, even if I did, he would just tell me that such efforts were meaningless."

"And you would go to your room at night feeling dissatisfied with yourself. You probably beat yourself up about it, and when he isn't looking, you steel a glance every now and then, just to make sure he's doing alright." Haru smiled. "I'm the same way. I worry about Ishi-nii all the time, and he worries about me, too." She folded her arms and bent her head slightly. "Byakuya-sama may not show it often, but he does think the world of you, Rukia-san. You are a very large part of his pride."

"Did he ever say so?"

"He doesn't need to," Haru answered. "He prefers speaking with actions." Rukia reflected briefly on his intervention in her execution. He had spent several weeks recovering, and though he probably didn't think she had noticed, he touched the spot where Ichimaru had impaled him from time to time, as if remembering it himself, or as if he still felt the pain. "Besides, there are nuances in his expression or movements when he speaks of you that reveal just how much he worries about you sometimes."

"He'll get wrinkles on his forehead if he persists." Rukia sat down beside Haru and folded her hands in her lap, as she was accustomed to doing whenever she was around people of high status. Haru's relaxed posture did nothing to ease her own manners; they had been engrained by Byakuya over their forty-some year acquaintance. "I'll bet you tell him that all the time."

"Constantly, but he's so damn stubborn, he never listens." Rukia was shocked that Haru could speak so informally, considering she was the next in line to head her family. That went without considering her relationship with the picture of formality, Kuchiki Byakuya, who never let his propriety slip, even in the most dire situations. "Your worry for him is entirely justified. Fifty years may have passed, but he still remembers. Death always lingers close. He was on his way to healing… not forgetting. He'll never forget Hisana-san. Still, if I can fill that void in his heart…"

"Iie," Rukia said with a shake of her head. "I didn't know my sister well. I only knew how he felt about her. It was how I was brought into the family. You know, because they were married. Besides, I don't think you understand exactly what you mean to him." She looked at Haru differently for a moment, as if scrutinizing the young girl in the gigai. When Rukia smiled, it wasn't the sort of thing Haru had expected, so her expression went entirely blank. "The void she left behind… you can't fill it. You can't because he has a spot in his heart that belongs exclusively to you. That night he heard about your death… I've never seen him like that. I don't imagine I ever will again. It practically killed him to tell everyone what had passed. Still, it meant that no one would ask questions if he looked tired or distant. I know he was wishing more than anything that he could have asked you why you did what you did." Haru nodded in agreement. She could see that, even if the two weren't close, they had a peculiar kind of relationship that definitely constituted as a family tie. "Haru-dono, what do you intend to do about nii-sama?"

"I'm not sure I understand."

"Well, he told me some interesting things that night." Haru blushed slightly. She couldn't guess precisely what, but by the way Rukia said it, she knew it was something that Byakuya shouldn't have said at all. "You know, about how you didn't really betray Soul Society, and how he asked you a very important question before you left…"

"Why are you bringing that up?" she said hastily, looking away. Rukia leaned forward and examined Haru's expression, a mixture of mortification and anxiety. She couldn't help but take full advantage of the situation. "It… it's really not that important to you, is it?"

"Oh, not really. I was just curious as to what you intended to do about it."

"That… that's really… for Byakuya-sama's ears, isn't it?"

"So, you have made up your mind…"

"Of course I did!" Haru cried. "I knew before I left, but I wasn't about to tell him anything. I mean… things may have ended differently." She felt the heat wash over her face and hoped that, perhaps, the cold temperature would somehow mask the true cause of her red face. A sound cut through the silence, and she glanced up at her companion, who had a hand to her mouth and was doubled over. "W… why are you laughing at me?"

"No reason," Rukia managed, "except for the fact that you still act so awkward about it."

"Well, wouldn't you be?" Rukia didn't answer the question. She simply smiled and rose, offering Haru a hand up, which she gratefully took. Surprised at how calm she was acting, Haru's expression became one of bewilderment.

"He told me everything that night, Haru-dono. He told me how you had left for some reason. He even told me that you had planned on coming back, if you hadn't died. Maybe now, I can believe it. The fact that you're here now… that's proof enough of your resolve. You want to see him again…" She turned to Haru and touched her shoulder gently. Haru winced because of some old injury, but once the pain had passed, she glanced at Rukia with a gaze that demonstrated the level of her attention. "I couldn't make any sense of it, but now, I think I'm finally beginning to understand."

"Matte, Rukia-san…" Rukia had pulled her hand away and was returning to the group. Despite Haru's insistence, she didn't stop or look back. She simply kept moving forward, absorbed in her own private consideration and expecting Haru to follow her at any moment. She held back, however, clutching the ring around her neck and watching Rukia walk away. _Strange… _she dropped her hand and stepped forward. _I think that, since I came to Soul Society, that was the first uninterrupted conversation we've had. Still, I think I understand you better now, Rukia-san. _Haru stepped into the sun with a confident stride. They were all waiting for her: Hirako, with his nonchalance, holding her violin case; Ishida, with a slightly more stable expression and with that brotherly affection; Ichigo, with his brazen confidence, who minded his promise to fight with her more than ever; and Rukia, who was lost in thought but who nodded gently as Haru paced up to them. "Well, then," she said at last, taking her violin from Hirako and turning towards the shop. "Shall we go?"

* * *

><p>"Haru-sama?" Ichigo had never seen Urahara look surprised, but that was really the only word that could capture the expression on his face. For a moment, he looked entirely taken aback, as if the person that led them into the room was some kind of ghost.<p>

"I'm glad you're doing better, Haru-san," Orihime said. "Are your wounds alright?"

"They were better before today. I think I've been moving around a little too much, but it's nothing I won't recover from."

"You _knew_?" Ishida demanded. "Inoue-san, why didn't you tell me? I would have tried to do something…"

"There really wasn't anything you could do, Ishida-kun," she insisted, waving her hands and bowing in apology.

"It's true," Hirako put in with a shrug. "She was almost dead when I found her…"

"Oi! Don't say things like that!" Haru shouted.

"Regardless of that…" Urahara had returned to his normal, nonchalant self. He reached for his fan and raised it so his entire face was concealed for a moment. He released a sigh, rubbed his eyes with his other hand, and glanced back up at his pupil. "I'm glad you're safe, Haru-sama."

"Gomenasai, sensei. I'm afraid I worried you quite a bit. Please accept my most sincere apologies." Haru bowed slightly, but before she could do so entirely, she hissed in pain and staggered. If Ishida hadn't been paying attention, she probably would have fallen. He caught her with some difficulty, making sure she landed on her knees to avoid harming her any more than she already was.

"Haru-sama, onegai… I don't ask you much, but I really think you should get some rest."

"Ishida's right," Rukia put in. "You shouldn't push yourself any more than you already have." She obviously felt a touch guilty for her rashness before. Still, Haru pushed her hair out of her face and delivered an expression that more than demonstrated her unconditional forgiveness.

"Iie." She sat up with a smile and wiped the sweat from her brow. "I'm fine, really. Besides, this is something I need to take care of now. Sensei, would it be too terribly inconvenient if I asked for a cup of tea?" A strange smile crossed his face, one that was almost paternal.

"Of course not. I'm always obliged to serve you, Haru-sama." He rose from the table himself. Apparently, he was going to use the tea as an excuse to take a minute alone. Haru watched him stride out, listened to the door close, and dropped her head again. For some reason, her head reeled and her body ached. It couldn't possibly all be from her duel with Rukia, nor could it all be from fighting Hirako that morning. Ishida coaxed her to rest against his shoulder, but she declined.

"Haru-sama…"

"If I rest now, without having accomplished anything, then I won't be able to forgive myself for it." Haru gave him a determined smile. "I promise I'll rest once I'm finished, but until then, please try not to worry too much."

"You say that so simply, as if it changes your condition…"

"Let her be," Hirako retorted, seating himself at the table and leaning his chin against his hand. He peered at Haru and shut his eyes. "Much as it pains me or anyone else to see her like that, she's stubborn just like her father was. No one could put him back in his right mind, either, once he got an idea in his head." Seeing the futility in trying, Ishida sighed but didn't rise. He was determined to stay by her at all costs. Ichigo and Rukia took their respective seats.

"Haru-dono, if I am the cause of this…"

"Iie," she interrupted. "I'm afraid the cause goes far beyond a simple fight."

"What about me, then?" Hirako inquired. "Usin' the mask on ya didn't help matters."

"You _what_?" Ichigo demanded. "Honestly, Hirako-san, you're just as reckless as she is if you pulled a stunt like that."

"She can handle me just fine, unlike some people I know."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Haru couldn't help but laugh slightly, but her mirth was cut short by some dark thought or memory drifting through her mind. Her hand trembled, but she didn't let go of the violin case. Something gleamed in her eyes, which shifted to a corner of the room before falling shut. "Oi, Haru, you alright?"

"Maybe someday, I will be. For now…" She turned to Ichigo. "The memories are still too near. Sometimes, I'm afraid I'll never be the same." At that moment, Urahara returned, looking much more enthused than he had been about Haru's return. He set the tea down and poured a cup, then slid it across the table to her. She bowed her head in silent thanks and sipped it as she was accustomed to doing. The flavor wasn't bad, but something bad lingered with it. Everyone could tell that she was thinking about Hueco Mundo and the events that had transpired there. Her hands were still a little unsteady, but that could have been fatigue. She took another sip of tea before setting her cup down and sighing to recover her composure.

"Are you feeling better, Haru-sama?"

"A little," she answered. Urahara's brows fell together, and he waved his fan.

"I always thought tea was the panacea to your low moods. It always was before."

"Yes, well, that was before Aizen started drugging it." An uncomfortable silence settled over the room, but Haru seemed not to notice it. She continued drinking her beverage with a steady carefulness. She always seemed to be searching for something wrong with it. With each sip, she found nothing out of the ordinary. It was plain green tea, subtle yet strong enough to awaken her senses and soothe her anxiety. She remembered something she had forgotten while she was in Hueco Mundo: the simple pleasures of a cup of tea. She sipped it again before setting it down. "Perhaps I should start at the beginning, that being almost two months ago."

"Two months? It took that long?" Ishida inquired.

"Two months ago, I came to a rather grim conclusion. I knew that if Aizen attacked in that moment, Soul Society wouldn't be able to stand against him. I knew I could be stronger, but I wasn't sure whether or not I had the time to invest in any sort of training. I finally thought that maybe, instead of making myself more powerful, I should aim to make Aizen weaker."

"How could you possibly do that?" Urahara inquired.

"I still had yet to collect the debt I was owed for my father's blood, so I decided to leave. I discussed the matter with Yamamoto-soutaichou at length. It was decided that the idea I had was sufficient enough to warrant that promotion he has wanted to give me since I passed the captain's exam." Haru opened the back of her violin case and began rummaging for something. "I knew it would be difficult, given the fact that I had very little time to accomplish what I desired. Still, I feel I have more than collected the debt that was owed to me for my father's blood." Haru raised her right hand. Between her index fingers rested a familiar looking gem that caused everyone in the room to stop breathing. It was the second time Ichigo would have seen Urahara looking that surprised, but he was too shocked himself to pay attention.

"That… that can't be…"

"It's the real thing," Hirako stated. "I'm sure of it. Our souvenir, she calls it."

"But… how?" Urahara inquired. "What did you have to do to get your hands on this?"

"To be completely honest…" Haru paused and smiled. "It was all chance, really."

"Something like that couldn't be done by chance," Rukia interjected. "You must be powerful if you got out alive with that in tow."

"I don't consider what I had to do an act of strength, if that's what you intend to suggest."

"Haru-dono—" Ishida shook his head to cut Rukia off. Haru had folded her hands in her lap, a sign that she had nothing more to say regarding the matter. "Why didn't you kill Aizen while you were there?"

"He never gave me a good opportunity," she stated, still avoiding their gazes. "He had some kind of ploy to settle a debt with my mother. He was going to release my limiters. The hypothesis made by the octava espada was that if my full reiatsu were released, my psyche would break. After that…" Her face contorted into an expression of disgust, and the hands she had set in her lap curled into fists. The idea still terrified her enough to stop her from speaking. She drew a few strained breaths and fought off the tears before continuing. "It was almost broken, anyway. That final push to escape… I don't think I've ever shed so much blood."

"Haru-sama…"

"That man…" Haru slammed her fists down on the table and bowed her head. "I'm convinced, that throughout the ages, there has never been someone as despicable as Aizen. I'm not sure which I hate more: the man himself, or the fact that my hatred probably brings him some kind of sick satisfaction. He's an expert at making people feel helpless, if nothing else." Haru peered at her reflection in the half-emptied tea cup. The tears that lingered in her eyes dropped one after the other onto the table, but she didn't even seem to notice that she was crying. She raised her head and did her best to wipe her tears away, but she didn't get far until memory after memory began to scroll through her mind at a dizzying speed. That self-satisfied grin, the first time she collapsed in the hallway, a song meant for the moon and played to a false sun, Nnoitora's relentless pursuit of her, the chess game with Szayel, the revelation of just what he intended, her strive for freedom, her grapple for success, her ultimate fall, a sea of blood and corpses… Haru's shoulders quivered, and she pressed a hand to her head. "Forgive me."

"Haru-sama…"

"I'm afraid I don't even know what I'm capable of anymore. I always thought that, if I ever let myself be forced into a corner, I would be able to keep a clear head. My trip to Hueco Mundo has proved otherwise. I've seen what I am since coming back, and it doesn't amount to much. That glimpse means nothing in the face of memory. I don't know what I am anymore, if I was ever sure to begin with. I don't know what I'm becoming. I don't even know what I'm supposed to do now. It's foolish, I know. Things should be clearer than this, demo…" It felt like there was something she had forgotten sometime between leaving Hueco Mundo and arriving in the human world. Whatever it was, the matter avoided her with great stealth, or perhaps her mind moved intentionally slow to avoid stumbling across it.

"Haru-dono," Rukia said calmly. "I understand you've had a rough time of it, and I understand… that you've never really been sure of what you are. If you have any doubts, any at all, as to why you came back, then don't return to Soul Society until you have resolved them."

"Kuchiki-san," Ishida said without bothering to hide the heat in his voice. "You…"

"I fully acknowledge how much Soul Society needs her right now," Rukia continued, "but if the only reason she came back is to be a captain, then she shouldn't go back at all."

"Don't you think that's a little harsh?" Ichigo inquired.

"Iie," Haru said. "Rukia-san is right in this case. Demo…" She dried her eyes steadily. "Demo… I didn't just come back to be a captain."

"I know," Rukia answered with a smile. "I just wanted to hear you say it is all. Haru-dono…"

"Hai?"

"What you are now and what you are becoming… you've demonstrated that none of that really matters."

"That's right," Ichigo stated, leaning forward. "Shinigami, quincy, vizard… what you are really doesn't make any difference. Soul Society needs all the help it can get right now. If you've decided you want to fight for them, then fight for them. I said I'd fight with you, didn't I?"

"I feel the same," Urahara stated. "It's never really mattered to me, what you are. So long as you aren't fighting against me, I feel like I can fight with you."

"And I'd serve you just the same even if you weren't a shinigami or a quincy," Ishida stated.

"It wouldn't have stopped me from healing you, either," Orihime said. Chad nodded in agreement.

"Besides," Urahara murmured, "I'm certain you would never do anything against Soul Society. You had the chance to when you stole the hougyoku." He waved his fan and peered out from above it. "You have no need to build an army, Haru-sama, not when everyone around you is willing to fight with you. I'm sure that no matter what changes may occur with your power in the future, you'd never turn your weapon on Soul Society." With all the words of encouragement, Haru couldn't help but smile and, for the moment at least, forget the heavy memories.

"Arigato, everyone. Your words give me hope. I'll try hard not to forget them." She bowed her head, lifted her tea, and finished drinking what was left of it.

"Still…" All eyes fell on Ichigo. "I think it's a little odd that I can't feel Haru's reiatsu, especially if she released her shikai when she was fighting Rukia."

"That thought has crossed my mind as well," Urahara stated. "The only trouble is, I can't figure out what it means."

"It has something to do with being in Hueco Mundo." Haru turned to Ishida, who sounded rather confident in his answer. "Urahara-san, there were hypotheses in Soul Society that something there was making it impossible for shinigami to feel the reiatsu of the hollow. Maybe it isn't something there after all. Otherwise, why can't Hirako-san or I feel her?"

"Go on."

"Well," he said, "it's more logical for whatever it is that's blocking our ability to feel reiatsu to be in Hueco Mundo. I feel this is the case especially since none of us can feel Haru-sama."

"Maybe it's true," Hirako responded. "When she unsealed her completely dormant zanpakutoh, none of us felt her. The barrier shifted, and Rose caught sight of a flame in the near distance. That's the only way we knew. Haru…" He peered critically at the girl for a moment. "When was the last time you felt a hollow?"

"I noticed I could feel them when I came back, but before that…" Haru raised her head. "It was when Hinamori-san first woke up."

"Somethin' changed in that time, then, to make the hollow impossible to feel. The question is what?" They all thought on it for a moment. Haru's eyes drifted shut, and she rested her head against the table. She suddenly felt dizzy and a little bit nauseous.

"Haru-sama?"

"Fine," she said shortly. "I'm fine. Just give me a moment."

"Promise?" She gave him a pitiful look, one that was full of fatigue and touched by pain. Ishida shook his head and put on a stern expression. "Haru-sama, I'm afraid I can't allow you to continue pushing yourself. You have done what you needed to, correct?"

"Hai."

"Then I insist that you get some rest."

"Demo…"

"Don't 'demo' me," he retorted. "Come on. It will be less hectic at my place. Do you think you can make it there?" Haru nodded and pushed herself up. She didn't stagger when she stood, but she did look more tired than she was before. Her emotional outburst probably hadn't helped things.

"Oi…" Hirako said. "Don't ya think ya should go back to the warehouse?"

"With all due respect," Ishida stated, rising to his feet. "Haru-sama has troubled you enough. Besides, I couldn't do anything for her when she got back. The least I can do is help her now." Hirako grinned and chuckled slightly. "Nani?"

"Ya got some kind of sister complex. It's kinda creepy."

"Urusai!"

"And wouldn't ya know it? Things got pretty interestin' between Haru and that Byakuya guy before she left, what with them sleepin' together and all…" In less than half an instant, Hirako's face was shoved against the table, pushed there by the violin case that now rested against his cranium. "Oi!" he shouted, whirling around to Haru. "What gives?" Her expression was entirely calm, but a shady heat raced across her gaze that made him want to shrink into a corner.

"Please don't bend the context, Hirako-san, or I'll make sure I crack your damn skull open next time."

"H… hai…" he murmured, sinking into his seat.

"Thanks for being so cooperative, for once," Haru said in quite a different tone. He tilted his head back to find that she was smiling. "Also, thanks for your hospitality. I'll come back to give you all a proper farewell before I leave."

"Promise?"

"Hai," she answered, nodding her head. "It's a promise."

"Haru-dono," Rukia said. "I'd like to speak with you again before you leave if it's possible."

"I'll see what I can do," she replied. "If not, you can always come to Soul Society. The fifth division office is where I'll be. Now, if you'll please excuse me…" Haru bowed one last farewell to the room before departing with Ishida leading her. Urahara waited until they were gone before smirking and setting his fan down.

"Go bantai taichou, neh?" he said, more to himself than to the rest of the room's occupants.

"Don't you find it a bit strange that she was assigned to the fifth division, considering who its last captain was?"

"On the contrary, Kuchiki-san," Urahara answered. "I find it rather fitting."

* * *

><p>In light of Takumi's promotion, a meeting of all fifth division members was called. He was pleased to be seated among them, having learned over the years to hate being the center of attention. He shut his eyes and sighed, somehow finding some thrill in the small formalities. Anything was better than fighting… but news of Haru's being alive brought a new inquiry to his mind. He wondered if she was on the battlefield, or if she was well enough to be. <em>I don't suppose she's ever hesitated with a hollow, <em>he thought to himself. _Iie… such a thing would be impossible. Still, because of my zanpakutoh, I feel akin to them._

_I'm sorry._

_Iie… don't apologize. It's nothing to be sorry for._

_To be honest, I don't see why you're conflicted in the first place._

_I'm not sure, _he replied. _Perhaps because some of them don't choose their fates, much like myself._

_Takumi, _the demon stated flatly, _how many people truly choose what fate gives them? The truly successful ones in life… they don't choose what they receive. They simply choose what to do with it. _He considered his zanpakutoh's words and nodded in ascent, but at that moment, he realized that Hinamori had moved into a position that implied she was about to address the division. She cleared her throat and fumbled with her words for a moment, but she quickly found the right ones to speak and proceeded to do so in a way that captivated him.

"A… ano, I'm sure you expect me to address the issues with the hollow Seireitei has been having. Well, I'm no longer here for that reason." In the silence that followed, a pin could have dropped, and it would have sounded like a wild stampede. He suddenly had an odd feeling, though it wasn't quite the feeling he was used to in instances like that. Instead of feeling out of place, Takumi only felt a stronger connection to the division and to those around him. "Things have changed, and they will continue to change, as they always have. It will be better for my health to resign my office and to allow a new vice captain to take charge, so from this moment on, I humbly ask… and this is my last request of you as your vice captain… I ask that you officially acknowledge Fujiwara Takumi, who has agreed to step into that office." A sea of whispers bubbled up around him, and eyes from every corner of the room shifted to him. Hesitantly, he raised his left hand and attempted an amiable wave, but his own anxiety kept him from fully conveying his intentions. He peered to Hinamori, who jerked her head, and with a sigh, he rose and paced the perimeter of the room until he stood beside her. "Don't see my loss of power as complete. I'll be taking the third chair of the division since it has recently become vacant…" The prior third seat had been killed several days ago in one of the hollow attacks. "So, I can promise you that Fujiwara-fukutaichou will in no way, shape, or form take one step out of line." He shuddered at the threatening tone in her voice and nearly tripped as she stepped behind him and shoved him forward. "Say something," she hissed in his ear.

"How about a fair warning next time?" he retorted.

"Nani? You couldn't actually see that I was going to make you do this?"

"You can't technically make me do anything, considering our little change in seating…" Takumi hissed as she shoved her foot against the back of his shin. "Take it easy," he whispered.

"What? Are you really that fragile?" Takumi gave her a mock leer and silently admitted that the comeback was well conceived. As he peered into the room for the first time since he had stepped up there, he realized that their eyes were expectant and not altogether full of loathing.

"Come on, fukutaichou!" demanded one of the room's occupants, the voice belonging to the shinigami that he had recently healed. "Speech!" The next thing he knew, the whole room was demanding it, and though he peered back to Hinamori for help, he could tell just by the satisfied expression on her face that he wouldn't find it there. She simply opened one hand and moved it slowly through the air, a silently suggestion to get on with it.

"Alright, alright," he said in a casual yet somewhat authoritative tone. "Settle down. I'm sure I'll find something to say eventually." Even though he was entirely serious, the division members found it somewhat comical. Laughter rolled over the room but ceased as soon as he had raised his hand to silence them again. "I guess I'm not used to all of this yet, having just been thrown in the midst of it this morning. Still, I'm honored to take the position and swear to serve this division in good faith until I'm asked to do otherwise." His eye shifted about the room for a moment, and he released a nostalgic sigh. "I once had the great honor of serving someone with an idea, and I want to live by that idea even though she's no longer with us. She could see past any rank, move past any social barrier, and what's more, she could do it in a way that made other people both question and support the cohesion that already exists, more often than not at the same time. What she saw was equality among nobles and beggars, foot soldiers and captains. I'll probably never see like her, but maybe I can take a step in that direction. I can see you all as equals because in my thinking, a vice captain isn't just an authority figure, and aside from missing an eye, I'm no different than any of you. What it comes down to is we all bleed when we're cut, and we all fight to defend this place when its safety is threatened because it's important to us. It's a common bond, an equalizer of sorts, and for that reason, I… well, I'm just as obligated to serve you as you are to serve each other and me."

Takumi bowed his head momentarily. "If I understand right, then this place has been a bit chaotic since Aizen turned his back on you. Well, I'm the first step to restoring order, but I can't do it alone. If you want things to get better, then we're all going to have to work for it, together, because if we can't trust each other, if we can't confide our problems and collectively solve them, then who can we trust? Who can we turn to?" The audience remained rapt in his words, even when silence fell. One simple shout of agreement coaxed others to follow suit in a slightly disunified chorus that made Takumi straighten his shoulders and Hinamori, who stood behind him, smile as she gazed at his back. True, things wouldn't change in a day, but time could help matters. In three days, she hoped to see the division that had seen betrayal become even more unified with the return and official instatement of a captain whose loyalty to them and to the Gotei 13 was completely unshakable.

* * *

><p>Haru stirred and opened her eyes. She had only intended to rest them for a moment, but it felt like some time had passed. Ishida was still sitting beside her on the floor, watching with the same expression he had worn when her eyes had drifted shut. She glanced at the clock but found she couldn't read it because her vision was blurry. She rubbed the sleep away from her eyes and peered at him again. "Are you feeling better?" he asked without looking up.<p>

"Much," she answered, moving to sit up, but he pressed her not to rise yet. In fact, he forcefully insisted that she rest for a while longer. It had only been an hour since she laid down. Despite Haru's arguments that she wouldn't sleep at night if she slept for the rest of the day, Ishida wouldn't budge. "Stubborn," she breathed, rolling onto her side and curling up beneath the blanket he had probably thrown over her as she had drifted off. Haru glanced at him after her irritation subsided. He looked serious, almost too serious. "Ano, Ishi-nii, is something troubling you?"

"Iie." Haru didn't want to push the issue. Some sort of trepidation prevented her from doing so. For a time, she stared at the ceiling, waiting for him to say something, but he never did. That unsettling silence and stillness sunk in until Haru thought it would never leave. "I'll… get you some tea." As he rose, Haru proved that she was still capable of stealth. She rolled over and latched on to his arm with a vice-like grip and an equally vice-like gaze. Ishida sighed and leaned back against the side of his sofa, tilting his head up to the ceiling.

"What do you want me to say?"

"Whatever's on your mind."

"It's not pleasant, not for either of us."

"Ishi-nii…" Haru pushed his shoulder twice, asking him silently to turn his head towards her. "Whatever it is, I don't care. Just be honest with me. I want to hear it. It's the least I can do to repay you for your trouble."

"It's no trouble," he answered grimly. "You shouldn't worry about it."

"Nii-san…" Haru shifted her weight and started sitting up before he could stop her. When he realized what she was doing, he scrambled to his feet and attempted to hinder her movement by pushing on her shoulders.

"Haru-sama, you shouldn't be up yet." Haru gave him a look she had never given him before, one that was pleading. It made his breath hitch, but he pushed the image into the back of his mind as he forced her to lay down and abandoned his post to get her some tea. It would give him some time to clear his mind. He was still trying to get into the mindset that she was alive, not dead, and that she currently occupied a spot in his own dwelling. Once he had disappeared from sight, he rested his hands against the counter and sank forward. Behind his glasses, his eyes glinted helplessly. He could do this for her, but what more could he do? There was no way he could take the pain away. Not even Kuchiki Byakuya was capable of that. He couldn't stand seeing her like that. He couldn't stand not knowing every detail of what Aizen had done to her, so he could pay every ounce of it back in full, and the least desirable ounces double.

Around the time Haru disappeared, Ishida had also come to a conclusion, one that only made him feel a superfluous shadow in her life. He was no longer capable of protecting her, not that he ever really had been. He sank to the floor and rested his head against the cabinet. _What am I going to do? _A pair of light footsteps crossed the linoleum, and suddenly, a coat that was a little too small for him was draped over his shoulders. Her hands lingered for a moment before she drew them away and contented herself with just sitting and watching him as he had done for her while she was vulnerable. "There is something… you should know, Haru-sama." He couldn't look at her. It felt so deceptive, the whole thing. "I have so many things to say. I'm afraid you'll hate me for every single one of them."

"I could never hate you, Ishi-nii," she said gently.

"You say that now," he answered. "I doubt you'll be so forgiving after I've said them. What I have to say isn't just about the Yamashita clan. It's about Fujiwara."

"Fujiwara? What does Takumi have to do with this?"

"If you knew how deeply he was involved, then you wouldn't be asking that question." Ishida knew that his words would cause her pain, and he hated himself more in that moment than he ever had in the past. He lifted his eyes for a moment. He couldn't stand the expression she was wearing, the one that showed she was listening attentively. Haru waited for him to speak and tried to derive a sign that indicated when he would begin. However, no such sign occurred, and only his words passed through the room, from her ears to her comprehension. "Iie… I don't suppose it's right of me after all," he said suddenly.

"Nani?"

"To let you keep calling me brother." Anxiety flashed in Haru's gaze, and he immediately looked away. She obviously didn't understand why Ishida said that so suddenly.

"Ishi-nii, I know my ruse of betrayal hurt you, and I'm sorry. If there's anything else I should apologize for…"

"Iie," he interrupted. "I'm the one… who should apologize." Ishida could feel Haru's gaze burning into him. He heaved a sigh before continuing. "Had I known you would have made him your vice captain, I would have told you this before, but I hesitated for too long. I was too afraid of what you would do." He stopped when he felt Haru's hands against his shoulders and turned his desolate eyes to her.

"If this is at the cost of your own well-being, I can't in good conscience make you tell me anything."

"Gomenasai, Haru-sama. I'm afraid that regardless of what it does to me, these things have to be said. I can't keep them silent any longer." Ishida stared at her, his eyes pitifully clouded with anxiety. "You've always loathed your family for their deceit, their ruthless utilization of others, their greed for power… but this… if you had discovered such a thing sooner, it would have driven you to madness, and I honestly hope that it doesn't." Haru nodded in understanding, and Ishida continued. "Fifty-eight years ago, Haru-sama, a shinigami came here and begged for the power to make his own family more powerful. The sixteenth head of the Yamashita clan declined, but when she died and your grandfather, Masahiro-dono, became the family's leader, he was more than willing to help, and the gruesome way in which he did so is despicable, even for someone like me who has no respect for shinigami."

"What did he do?" Haru asked.

"He took that shinigami's zanpakutoh and tore its soul apart. Then, he reassembled it, using elements from the zanpakutoh of shinigami who had fallen during the war between races in the past. He added to this concoction the uncontrollable lust for killing from a hollow. He erased every corporal and psychological memory from this sword and scrambled its recollections to the point that it could never recover its true form. It was, as I understand, agonizing for both the shinigami and his weapon, but the process was successfully completed, and he returned to Soul Society in order to strengthen his family." Haru, at that point, was trembling. She had no idea that such a process was even possible, and she feared for Suzaku until she remembered the lengths she would go through to save her sword from any such alterations. The natural changes that occurred between them was a result of Suzaku's evolutionary powers, but for a third party to engineer a zanpakutoh for a specific purpose… the very thought made her head whirl with fear. "The power… was very taxing on this shinigami. It began as a gift to do good, a power that could effectively slay any hollow, but one day, his psyche shattered. The full killing power of that zanpakutoh wiped out scores of shinigami, and when he had killed everything else, in one moment of blinding madness, or maybe it was blinding sanity, he destroyed himself with his own blade."

"That's terrible," Haru murmured. "I can imagine the zanpakutoh felt awful in its last moments…"

"Iie," Ishida answered. "After having been put through so much pain by its master, it hated its wielder. It couldn't remember anything."

"But at least it's gone now, right?" Ishida peered at her with seriousness. "Right? A zanpakutoh dies with its wielder…"

"But this one is a special case," he sighed. "It was passed on… to the original wielder's son, and it was resurrected through him. That sword still lives."

"Then I have to do something about it. If whoever has it goes on a rampage…"

"You still don't understand," Ishida interrupted. "The man who came to the Yamashita clan originally… his name…" A gentle knock at the door interrupted them. Haru gasped and pulled the blanket closer around her once she had recovered from the shock. They both waited a moment. Then, it came again. Haru grew accustomed to the idea of someone being there, so she stood up and began walking towards it, but Ishida immediately pulled her back and shook his head.

"Let me, Haru-sama." She nodded and remained where she was, out of sight in the corner of his kitchen. He removed the barrier of her coat from his shoulders and dropped it into her lap. The room felt colder without it, but he somehow felt less restricted. Ishida felt her eyes on him until he disappeared from sight. He tried to look as normal as possible when he opened the door. The man standing at it had a hand raised and was about to knock a third time but stopped when Ishida appeared in the doorway. He was a complete stranger, but already, Ishida could guess that the man was from the Yamashita clan. "Do you have some business with me?"

"Iie, not you," the man answered. "Haru-dono, on the other hand…"

"Haru-sama isn't here. I don't know where she went."

"You've got to be kidding me." The man put a hand to his head. "Look, kid, you're a terrible liar. It's rather important that I speak to her. Otherwise, I wouldn't have tried chasing her down in the first place."

"You _what_?" Ishida demanded. He should have guessed, though, from the bruise by the visitor's lip.

"I've already seen her, so there's no sense in telling me she isn't alive."

"How could I know?" Obviously, the man thought he had fallen for the trap. "I haven't seen Haru-sama in almost a month. Last I heard, she had died."

"You don't seem troubled at all by that."

"It only bothers me when dogs like you come sniffing around." Ishida moved to shut the door, but the man's foot appeared and hindered his attempts. "Leave."

"Not until I have a word with Haru-dono."

"I told you before, she's not here."

"Look, kid…"

"Ishida. Call me Ishida, or some variant of that."

"Fine, Ishida-san. If I don't get that word, then I can't go home, and I'm supposed to take my son to see a kendo match tonight." Ishida looked dubious. "Come on, please? It'll only take a second." Ishida pulled the door open slightly, and the man, believing that he was getting his way removed his foot. Ishida prepared to slam the door in his face, but he wasn't given a chance to do so. A sharp whistle cut through the backdrop of silence. His grip faltered, and he whirled around to find Haru standing with her arms folded behind her back, obviously preoccupied with some advice she had been given recently.

"Honestly, nii-san, did anyone ever teach you manners?" she chided. "Let the man in. It will be more comfortable to discuss the matter over some tea, don't you think?"

"Demo, Haru-sama…"

"Please let him in," Haru called, disappearing again to silence the tea kettle. He really couldn't ask how they had all wound up sitting around a table, each with a steaming cup of tea. Both Haru and the visitor indulged in theirs with a similar style of grace and decorum. Ishida left his untouched. He was too busy making sure that whoever it was wasn't about to pull a fast one. "It has a nice flavor, nii-san," Haru stated. "What kind of tea is it?"

"Plum."

"Souka." She inhaled the aroma and sighed into her cup. "It's nostalgic somehow. I think I was sick and okaasan gave me a cup of plum tea once. I couldn't really taste it, though…"

"Tatsuhiro-dono always liked plum tea," the visitor stated. "He would drink it whenever he was feeling troubled. He said it cleared his senses better than sake did."

"You knew my father, then?" The visitor removed his sunglasses and peered at Haru for a moment. Then, he nodded.

"I'm his cousin, which makes me your second cousin. My name is Yamashita Yoshio."

"Hajimemashite," Haru said with a nod. "I suppose I should apologize for hitting you earlier. Truth be told, my trip to Hueco Mundo has made me a little hasty to react physically."

"Think nothing of it. Besides, I should have come up with a more effective way to approach you than trying to chase you down like that. Still, when I lost sight of you…"

"You're only human," she interrupted, inhaling the scent of tea and peering at him intensely. "I'm capable of things you couldn't even dream of." A pause lingered in the air, and she smiled slightly. "I'm happy to hear I didn't hurt you too badly." Ishida thought it strange that she was suddenly acting civil to someone from the Yamashita clan. Still, he was in no position to question her methods. She sipped her tea again for a moment and continued contemplating its flavor. "It has a nice undertone of cinnamon and cloves."

"Do you taste the apple?" Haru sipped it again.

"I do," she answered, setting her cup down. "Now, I believe we should get down to business."

"Indeed," Yoshio responded, doing the same and giving Haru the same critical look. "Masahiro-dono wants you to come to the manor."

Haru digested the information before speaking. "Surely, he got the message. I couldn't have made it any clearer."

"He understands perfectly well that you want to sever all ties with the family, but it's something he says he can't allow you to do." Ishida threw him a venomous glare as he pushed a slip of paper across the table. Once he withdrew, Haru received it. On one side was her handwriting. She skimmed the haiku she had written to her grandfather, reading it silently to herself. _With this, I recede from the shores of fate, although I risk withering. _Then, she turned the paper over and found that, as she had expected, another haiku was written on the back, this one in her grandfather's handwriting. _The seeds of conflict can still be stopped by birds whose words devour them._ Her hand wavered, and she slowly looked up at him. "I've been ordered to take you back."

"No way," Ishida stated. "There's no way I'd let you or anyone else force Haru-sama to…"

"What does he want?" Haru inquired, ignoring her brother's objections. "What could he possibly want with me? Haven't I made myself clear enough?"

"Masahiro-dono wants to apologize."

"So he says," Ishida stated. "I don't believe that for one instant, and if you do, then you're an idiot."

"Nii-san," Haru said gently.

"Don't you dare believe him, Haru-sama."

"Of course I don't, but I won't know for sure unless I go, will I?"

"You can't be serious." Haru paused for a moment. She seemed to be consulting something within herself. She lifted her cup and drained it before setting it down with a resolute sigh.

"I need to make it clear to him that I've decided to be a shinigami. Besides, Suzaku thinks it's a good idea." Yoshio nearly dropped his cup at the name, but he rescued it for the sake of the tea that was left in it. "Is something the matter, Yoshio-san?"

"Suzaku?"

"Hai," Haru answered. "Suzaku is the name of my zanpakutoh."

"Suzaku…" he repeated slowly. "Suzaku…" Each time he said it, he sounded deeper and deeper in thought until Haru believed he was trying to push himself into some kind of trance. "I've heard that name before."

"Suzaku is the name of a constellation."

"Iie," Yoshio said. "I heard it in a prophecy. It's fifty years old, maybe sixty. Anyway, I don't remember it all, but Masahiro-dono does. Who was it that told his predecessor? A shinigami, I think. He said it again before he left. His last words to Masahiro-dono involved Suzaku and a lot of other things I don't quite understand. His name…"

"Fujiwara Hitoshi." Haru flinched and glanced to Ishida, whose gaze was blazing again. "His name was Fujiwara Hitoshi. Isn't that right?"

"Yeah, sounds about right," Yoshio said. Haru glanced from Yoshio to her brother. She came to some conclusion and let her head drop.

"Souka," she murmured. "Then the sword he made was…"

"Haru-dono, are you feeling ill?"

"Iie."

"Then, we should go." Haru trembled slightly, then raised her eyes, which were suddenly more fierce than they were before.

"Tomorrow."

"Nani?"

"Tell him I'm coming tomorrow. I'll take the eight o'clock train to Tokyo. You should probably mention that I don't have a lot of time left. I need to have a chat with Rukia-san, and I need to give a proper thanks to the people who kept me alive. And also…" Haru paused to get her bearings. "Tell him that Ishi-nii is accompanying me, so he knows to make enough tea."

"Hai, Haru-dono." Yoshio bowed his head in obedience. "To be honest, I wasn't sure if you could be the head of this family, but now, I think I'm beginning to see why Masahiro-dono insists on it." Yoshio rose to his feet and bowed again. "I will wait for you both at the train station in Tokyo. Please have a safe journey, Haru-dono." He moved to show himself out since Ishida wasn't finished with his tea and Haru seemed a little under the weather despite her insistence that she felt fine.

"Yoshio-san."

"Hai."

"One more thing." She closed her hand around the slip of paper. The sound of it crumpling made Ishida glance up. The fire in her eyes was unquenchable. He could see that Yoshio-san was unsettled by that side of her. "If for one instant I suspect that my visit is some kind of trap, a ploy intended to detain me indefinitely, then I will take off his head without batting an eye lash. That man is no family of mine. Have I made myself clear?"

"H… hai, Haru-dono."

"Good. Until tomorrow, then."

"Hai. Until tomorrow." For five full seconds after Yoshio disappeared, nothing happened. Ishida and Haru shifted at the same moment. They peered at each other, and Ishida immediately looked away. He hated it when she looked at him like that, as if she were entirely powerless.

"Then," she murmured after a few seconds, "the zanpakutoh my grandfather engineered, the one he tore apart and put together again, the one whose memories he obliterated… is akumashoku?" Ishida nodded. It was all he could do. If he tried to speak, he would lose control of his emotions again. Haru turned and tried to comprehend the information she had just received. It was next to impossible, even though a lot of things suddenly made sense. Takumi had at one point hated his zanpakutoh, and his zanpakutoh had hated him to the point of wanting to take over his body. She couldn't imagine the pain his father had went through, and the pain that he had went through because of it… it was equally unfathomable. She clenched her fists and bowed her head.

"What should I do?" she asked, though she seemed to be more or less asking herself. "What should I do? Can I even face him now, knowing what I do? Can I really go through with making him my vice captain? Iie… it's too late to ask that question. I already have." She relaxed her hands and turned to Ishida, who had entirely averted his eyes from her. "Nii-san…"

"Haru-sama, I… I'm sorry. I just thought you should be aware of everything is all." She sighed and fell against his shoulder. When Ishida looked up, he saw that she no longer appeared troubled, though she surely still felt a bit anxious about everything that had happened that day.

"It's fine," she answered. "I haven't gotten to spend much time with you since I went to Soul Society. To be honest, even if it's something as grim as this, I'm happy I came, Ishi-nii." That comment seemed to put him at ease. He raised his head and peered at her, then joined her in smiling. "Takumi is a strong shinigami. He's more than qualified to be my vice captain. When most people would turn him away for his zanpakutoh and his inability to control it, I took him in. I think things are different between them now. Even so, I feel like I should do something for him."

"There's still time, Haru-sama." She nodded in agreement, but her expression changed to something apologetic. "Nandesuka?"

"Tokyo," she said suddenly. "I want you to come with me to Tokyo." Haru glanced at the slip of paper in her hand, then looked back up to her brother. "I should have asked you first, rather than assuming you would follow me. However, I understand if you don't want to get involved in this. I understand what a mess it is, especially considering what you just told me. Even so…" Her voice faltered, and she bowed her head. So, she had been scared after all. She had just decided not to show it until her cousin had departed. "Onegai, Ishi-nii… I don't know… I don't know if I'm strong enough to go alone." Ishida reached forward and touched the top of her head, a brotherly affection that he very seldom allowed himself.

"Always," he said gently. Haru peered up at him, and he smiled reassuringly. "I would follow you anywhere, Haru-sama."

* * *

><p>Wow… half of me is glad I stayed up to get this done. The other half is demanding sleep more strongly than I'm used to, but before I depart, a Japanese lesson. ^^<p>

Yare, yare: Well, well

Urusai: Shut up

Iie: No

Matte: Wait

Gikongan: Soul candy; swallowing one basically inserts an artificial soul into a gigai. It's not a commonly used term, especially in later Bleach episodes, so I thought some clarification would be good. ^_^

Kuso: Japanese swear word. ^_^

Sugoi: Amazing

Tadaima: I'm back

Baka: Stupid

Gomenasai: Formal apology

Onegai: Please

Demo: But

Hai: Yes

Arigato: Thank you

Nani: What

Ano: Japanese equivalent of "um."

Souka: I see

Hajimemashite: Pleased to meet you

Nandesuka: What is it?

Happy holidays, readers! May Santa leave a heap of inspiration under your tree and in your stocking, and may all your reading be ever epic. Until post-Christmas, farewell!


	5. Chapter 5: Sanction

A/N: Happy New Year! I'm so glad to be back for another rousing year of publishing fanfiction… let's get this party started right with chapter 5, shall we? This is probably going to be it, the year in which I finally finish the fanepic. I've got lots of funzies in store before that happens, though, so don't worry… I'll do my best to keep posting in a timely manner, but this semester promises to be the busiest ever, and my resolutions… well, I'll write them down at some point, but let's just say they involve projects bigger than this one (not in size, but in importance…).

As a forewarning, I'm pretty sure the next two chapters are over 18,000 words a piece. I was told by a friend and loyal reader that it really doesn't matter. There are just things I can't split, and things I can't omit. I apologize in advance if this irritates/offends/vexes/infuriates anyone. Just split it up into two 9,000 word chunks and try not to get irritated/offended/vexed/infuriated? I could have done that, but this stuff just kind of goes together in my opinion, like peanut butter and chocolate.

As always, a big fat shout-out to my readers, and thanks to my reviewers: Juliedoo, Almathia, lostfeather, ThorongilAnime, and animegurl9871. I'm glad you all enjoyed the last chapter enough to give me an ego boost. ^_^

And now, without further ado, the first chapter of 2012! Enjoy!

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 5: Sanction<em>

Haru opened her eyes, then immediately shut them when the grogginess of the preceding sleepless night seeped through her. Takumi must have known the truth, and still, he had followed her. The loyalty warmed her heart but did nothing to exacerbate the agonizing guilt that pursued her in her dreams, the inconceivable conception of the pain, the agony, the insufferable emotional strain… it was no wonder Fujiwari Hitoshi had at some point lost his mind and turned on his own comrades, and what had he felt in that moment? The answer was beyond finding. She sighed in frustration and pressed a hand to her head, falling to the right onto a warm mass and suddenly leaping up.

"Ohayo, Haru-sama."

"Nii-san," she said softly, bowing her head and swallowing. After all the trouble she had given him the night before, he was still willing to do something like let her sleep against his shoulder, and what was more, he did it with more poise, with more ease, than she did. She swallowed and cleared her throat, then stretched the rest of her fatigue away. Haru swayed when the train sped up, then folded her hands in her lap and endeavored to look well-rested. "Gomen… I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"Why are you apologizing?" Ishida inquired.

"More or less, I'm apologizing for where I fell asleep," she answered, pointing to the shoulder she had been resting against. He calmly looked away.

"I don't think that's something you need to apologize for."

"Demo…" Ishida looked back to her, and she faltered for a moment. "I've been so troublesome to you, not just now, but always. I know… that your father doesn't approve of your relationship with me. He never will, because of what I am. And lately, you've just embraced everything. My return to the greener side of the fence, my possible engagement, my impulsive desire to settle things with my family once and for all…" Haru bowed her head slightly and added in a murmur, "I don't know how I can possibly thank you."

"Smile." Startled, she looked up at him to find that he was peering intensely at the window across from him. "To see you happy… it has always made your troublesomeness worth it in the end."

"So, you admit I'm troublesome."

"Good gods, no!" Ishida insisted, waving his hands and shaking his head vigorously. "Honestly, Haru-sama, I promise it's nothing of the sort! If ever I thought anything like that, then…" But his fervent insistence tapered off when he caught sight of her expression, the placid and somehow satisfied smile that he had moments before requested her to display. The passengers swayed as the train came to a stop and a speaker overhead announced their arrival.

"Arigato, Ishi-nii." She rose with the sort of grace that would be expected of a noble and calmly moved towards the exit. He followed close behind, watching as Haru somehow evaded being jostled, as she smiled and politely excused both herself and him. When she descended the stairs, her hair swayed slightly, and she turned back to him with a look that spoke volumes of her inner quietude. Yes, despite the chaotic bustle she had voluntarily immersed herself in, Haru stood amidst them, a pillar of composure.

_Sugoi_, he thought, watching as she glanced first one way, then the other, trying to gather some sense of direction. _All my life, I've known Haru-sama was capable of being composed, but never did I expect something like this. _As she glanced to and fro, she periodically apologized to people who bumped into her, bowing slightly each time and taking up the search with just as much diligence. At some point, something caught her interest, and she raised a hand in greeting, then darted forward. Ishida struggled to keep up. It was difficult to keep track of Haru in the crowd, especially considering the black coat she wore, which helped her blend in her. He stumbled suddenly into a clear part of pavement, where Haru stood with an almost excessively composed smile on her face. Glancing up, Ishida found that she was staring at who appeared to be their escort. He stood with his arms folded next to a conspicuously lavish car. Haru must have heard people muttering about it and chose not to let it discomfort her. She paced forward resolutely with Ishida following closely behind.

As soon as they approached, the man cleared his throat and stated, "Ohayogozaimasu, Haru-dono, Uryuu-dono."

"Yoshio-san, ohayo," she answered. The distant cousin couldn't help but smile a bit at Haru's cordiality, but at the recollection of just what she was capable of, his smile faded. He rounded to the driver's side after asking Ishida to help Haru get situated. Both were happy to be behind the tinted windows rather than in the midst of all those gazes. Once she was in the car, Haru immediately diverted her attention to her surroundings. She watched everything pass with only a vague interest. Something must have been on her mind, but Ishida didn't dare ask what. He was afraid of what answer he may find. "Neh, Yoshio-san…"

"Hmm?" he inquired.

"Did you give my message to ojii-sama?"

"Hai."

"What did he say?"

"That you were uncouth, uncultured, and reckless to send such an impudent message." Haru glanced away from her reflection, allowing the faintest of smiles to cross her lips. "Does that amuse you?"

"Very much so," she stated, folding one knee over the other. "I know he wouldn't have said something like that if he was certain I wouldn't do it."

"You still intend to, then, if things get out of hand?" Haru's eyes drifted shut. Ishida noticed the dangerous glint in them, one that Yoshio seemed to interpret accurately. "You can't be serious."

"Why not?" Haru inquired. "If you knew what I had to do to get out of Hueco Mundo, you wouldn't be questioning my capabilities. I meant what I said yesterday. I won't be caged by that man or by anyone else." Yoshio started to say something, but she interrupted. "And _if_ I saw Soul Society as a cage, then I wouldn't have come back in the first place." Yoshio's eyes wandered to the mirror and met Haru's. The cold fire in them was so intense, he couldn't decide whether he was more afraid of burning or freezing. After a moment, he looked away and pushed his sunglasses further up the bridge of his nose, redirecting his attention to the road.

"You're so much like him, it's frightening."

"I know," she murmured, "but if I weren't at least a little ruthless, then I never would have made it out alive." Haru's eyes darkened. She seemed to be reflecting on something unpleasant, and for a reason that seemed wholly unnecessary. Ishida wanted to encourage her, to say that he was happy she had escaped with her life, but when she made that expression, he wondered whether or not it would have been best if she had never undergone the trial in the first place. Watching the world go by with such a dark look, Haru fixed her mind on the final struggle to escape. Every sweep of her sword was a blur, every flash of her Seele nothing but a transitory glimmer. All she knew was that the blades were passing through something. Then, just when she dared to hope, a shadow nearly devoured her. _Ulquiorra Schiffer… _The mere thought name made her fingers flex into a fist. _For some reason, I pity you. I pity you because you probably never knew what a smile was like, even if I despise what you tried to do to me. It's such an uncanny line of thinking. Then again… _

"Haru-sama," Ishida said suddenly. "Whatever you're thinking of, please don't anymore. The face you're showing now doesn't suit you." Her expression softened in surprise, and she heaved a sigh.

"Gomen, nii-san. I suppose going through with this has put me in a pretty dark mood."

"I don't think this is good for your health, Haru-sama," he said. Haru peered at him for a moment, bemused at the firmness in his eyes. Ishida didn't back down for a moment; he simply continued staring at her steadily. By then, Yoshio had pulled to a stop in a secluded area and glanced back at them.

"Should I turn around, Haru-dono? I don't want you compromising your health for anything." Her eyes glinted like two points of fluorine. She threw the door open without a word and shut it with enough force to make both of them flinch. "Good grief…" He shook his head in dismay. "She doesn't look like much, but there's something kind of unsettling about her."

"Haru-sama is only trying to put up a front. When you've known her for as long as I have, you can tell when she's afraid, even if she doesn't show it." Ishida gazed at her through the tinted window. She had turned around and was gesturing for them to follow her, smiling in a manner that somehow managed to generate relief and augment Ishida's present concerns. "I shouldn't expect any less of her, really. She told me last night that she was afraid to go alone. She said she had been dreading this moment for a long time, but she also knew that she couldn't run away from it anymore."

"What does she intend to do?'

"I'm not sure," Ishida replied, pulling on the handle and setting one foot on the ground. "But we won't find out unless we follow her."

* * *

><p>They were certainly an odd sight, the two visitors following Yoshio through the labyrinth of hallways. Ishida stood erect and followed him readily enough, but Haru hung her head in shame and pressed a hand against her forehead. "Cheer up, Haru-dono," Yoshio stated. "You can't possibly know your way around already, what with not being here in a decade or so…"<p>

"Hai," she murmured drearily.

"Did you think instinct would take you there?"

"I thought at the very least that it wouldn't delay me." She felt absolutely mortified, having wandered for an interval of twenty minutes before realizing she had not the faintest idea of where she was going and having a guide complacent enough to let her do it. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you did it just to embarrass me," she murmured. Ishida must have overheard her. He rested a hand on her shoulder, immediately drawing her gaze.

"It isn't like you to blame others for your lack of direction."

"I never really have been good at finding my way around," she confessed. "Still… I'd think you would have at least said something."

"Yes, well…" He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose after withdrawing, and in such a manner that made Haru inwardly question his motives. Still, she remained silent, not wanting to begin a confrontation.

_Still… that look he had just now… if I didn't know any better, he was amused or something. Why, though? What could be so amusing about it?_ The matter raced from her mind once she realized they had come to a stop in front of a pair of double doors. She stared at them for a moment, then glanced to Yoshio, who nodded and lifted his hand to knock on it.

"Haru-sama," Ishida murmured. "You can still turn back. I won't think any less of you for it." If Haru was going to object, then she wasn't given a chance before the gentle sound of a hand falling against a door echoed through the otherwise empty, soundless hallway.

"Masahiro-dono, you have visitors. Should I let them in?" A muffled affirmative penetrated the silence, and Yoshio opened the door. From Ishida's reaction, she could tell that he had indeed seen that room with his own eyes once before. The occasion didn't matter to her at the moment. She was only focused on remaining composed, but it was hard with the stifling aura that filled the place bearing down on her. Yoshio led them forward until they stopped in front of the sharp looking old man sitting in a chair with his eyes directed not at his guests, but at the volume in his hands. It was just one of thousands that occupied the room. Every wall was covered in shelves, and every shelf was covered in books. "Should I ask someone to bring tea, sir?" For a moment, his shrewd eyes darted away. Then, he folded the book shut and hoisted himself up on his walking stick. He was dressed professionally, as if he had recently returned from a business meeting.

"I already had some, but perhaps our guests would like a cup."

"Very well. Haru-dono…"

"Sakura tea," she said instantly. Ishida glanced at her in bewilderment. "The best we have on hand, if you please… and no sugar. It just gets in the way of my enjoying it."

"We just received a shipment of Sencha that I think will suit your palette."

"Arigato." Yoshio jolted at the sound of the word. He had already begun walking towards the door. Still, he slipped out without further comment, leaving Ishida to study Haru in bewilderment. Through her request and thanks, she had not for one instant diverted her eyes from the elderly man who now gestured for them to take a seat. She didn't move for a moment, not until Ishida called her gently back to attention. She nodded and followed him to a sofa, which she immediately set herself on. Ishida sat beside her, waiting as the elderly man made his way across the room and finally set himself in a chair that seemed almost sinfully comfortable. "Well?" she demanded.

"Well, what?"

"I'm here. Say what you need to."

"So impatient," he responded, "like the child you still are."

"I can be patient when I please, but I have other business to take care of today. Hurry up and speak." Yamashita Masahiro was a man who did things in his own time. He simply sat back, adjusted his posture a bit, let his eyes drift shut for a moment, then looked on her again. Ishida kept glancing at Haru, but her eyes were once again fixed heatedly on her grandfather.

"First, tell me why you came here with him." When Haru glanced in his direction, he immediately cast his eyes away. Her brows fell together, and she turned back to her grandfather.

"Does it matter?"

"I'm interested to hear the answer." Something in his tone caused her some suspicion, but she veiled it by slowly rising and pacing the room. Ishida followed her with his eyes, making sure that she didn't do anything drastic. Finally, she got to the desk and lifted the book her grandfather had been reading. She flipped through its pages, skimming some lines along the way.

"Simple enough. I asked him to come because he is the closest thing to a brother I have ever known."

"Your brother… and nothing more?"

"Masahiro-dono," he said in a tone of objection. "I thought I explained the nature of my relationship with Haru-sama last time I was here."

"Things change."

"This won't," he insisted. "Look, it's complicated. I can't explain it now."

"Explain what?" Haru inquired, lowering the book and raising an eyebrow. He immediately bowed his head and swallowed. The faintest of ideas had crossed her mind, an entirely insane and illogical idea… or was it? Suddenly, her fingers faltered and the book struck the floor. Her eyes glinted with an uncanny light, and she at last bowed her own head.

"Haru-sama, I… I meant to tell you… I meant to explain things, demo…" He must have heard how pathetic he had sounded. She leaned against the corner of the desk, holding onto it with both hands as the realization slowly worked its way through her entire body. She could feel the quiver racing across her skin. "Demo… you were always…"

"How long?" she demanded, raising her eyes to her grandfather. "How long were you pressuring him?"

"This was planned before you were old enough to walk." As those words crumbled to silence, she felt her expression contort into something furious, something spiteful. "I saw that I had made a mistake with Tatsuhiro-kun. I gave him too much freedom in certain areas of his life. To salvage the only honor I have ever known, I knew I would need the help of another good quincy name. Of course, it helped that you two met, even if it was under grim circumstances." Her hands gripped the desk tighter, so tight that they trembled. "Haru-chan, you have been a disobedient waif for eight years. Be obedient now, and I will forgive even your despicable heritage."

She couldn't think. She couldn't breathe. All she could do was wonder how long Ishida knew about the arrangement. Had her parents known? Had they tried to tell her? Had Ishida tried to tell her? He probably had, but he was so wrapped up in making sure she didn't physically break down that he hadn't had the chance to. And now, to have it unveiled in the worst possible way… Haru tried to imagine how he felt. _He has been a brother to me for years, _she thought. _The question is, am I a sister to him, or am I… _Haru's mind immediately became a deluge of memories, recent and distant, sweet and bitter, happy and deplorable… how many times in those years had he said he would follow her forever? Those words… were they something one sibling would say to another? She had no way of knowing for sure, nothing but her own observations and her pitiful attempts to guess Ishida's sentiments.

Then, suddenly, through her whir of confusion broke the welcome rays of composure. A smile gradually worked its way across her expression. Ishida, who had been gazing at the ground, glanced up when he heard a distinct shift in her position. He never expected to find her smiling that way, the sort of dangerous smile she gave every now and then that caused him to question her sanity. Masahiro completely misread her. "I am pleased you see it my way, Haru-dono."

"Iie," she answered, shaking her head. "I should really thank you for making me see that I can never be your redemption." The joy from his face faded as she folded her hands behind her back and gleaned the endless books around her. "If this is the only way you think you can save this family, then you're right, but if you think it is the only way I can save it, then you had better think again. There are other ways… besides that, there are obstacles to what you propose, the first and foremost being that you cast me out of this family long ago regardless of formalities, and the second being that, even if I were a true Yamashita, I would die before I let you or anyone else dictate my future." Haru didn't look at him as she said it. She looked towards the door with a sort of wistful air, and although its intensity waned, the smile never left her face. Ishida guessed immediately what, or rather who, she was thinking of.

"Then you defy me?" he demanded.

"Wholeheartedly," Haru answered, turning back to him.

"You can defy nothing."

"Why not? I signed the name away, didn't I?"

"I burned the document saying so." Again, there was that agonizing lurch, one that was so familiar and yet so different. She didn't need support that time, though. Some part of her must have been expecting it. "Like it or not, your fate is still mine to decide. You are still Yamashita Haru, and you will be until I free you from that name."

"If I recall correctly, my father already did," she answered calmly. He raised a brow.

"You remember that sham of a chess match?" The old man scoffed scornfully. "That was nothing more than a ruse to give my son a false sense of security. I figured that since I couldn't give him anything else, I should at least give him peace of mind."

"Even if that gift was a lie?"

"Because it was a lie." Her eyes flickered dangerously. Ishida detected the desperate restraint in them. Masahiro had touched a nerve; that much was obvious, but she wasn't about to give him the gratification of seeing her lose her composure. "Say you will bend to my will, Haru-chan. If you don't, then I'll have no choice but to force you." The heat in her gaze waned a bit, and she bowed her head slightly, presumably in thought. She let her grandfather think she was considering it.

"Very well," she stated after a pause. "If you will not let me have free will, I will earn my right to exercise it."

"Haru-sama." She was so startled that she took her eyes off of her grandfather for a moment and peered at Ishida. His words had been surprisingly firm, but the look in his eyes… she read in them what he could not say to her, and her own gaze became more relaxed. "Haru-sama, I'll let you have your way with anything else, but I won't allow you to overexert yourself. You've already pushed yourself so hard, it's a wonder your body can withstand it. Besides, the way I saw you yesterday…" His eyes darted away and flickered.

"Nii-san…" Haru bowed her head. The expression he wore in that moment was certainly an odd one. _What are you ashamed of, nii-san? Only moments ago, I thought your eyes were begging me for forgiveness, but now… _She turned her eyes to the ceiling for a moment and imagined herself being swallowed by the endless expanse of sky. It was almost convincing. She could nearly feel the heat from the sun and hear the air creeping past her. She wished there were some way she could tell her brother that none of this was his fault. Unfortunately, under the eagle eyes of her grandfather, there was no way to say anything.

_Haru-sama._

_Nani? _

_A past reflected in the rivers of forever as a lone leaf falls._ Suzaku's words rippled slowly across her consciousness. Until that moment, she hadn't known how she would earn her freedom without shedding blood, but as Suzaku spoke, a few memories sprang to mind, the first being near, the second being distant. She headed for the farthest one, back to when she was a child. Back then, she couldn't understand where she had been taken or why her father had been so insistent on not telling her mother. All she knew was that she was in a large, well-lit room, occupied in the pursuit of literary pleasures. It was a poor distraction from the intense competition taking place just several feet away. After a time, Haru only pretended to read to pacify her father, who kept glancing her way, almost as if he was anxious for her. When he saw how calm she was, he became calm as well. Time drifted past until two chairs slid across the floor and her father outstretched a hand to her.

"Do you remember," Haru murmured darkly, "what my father said that day? You know, the one where he gambled on my fate and won?" Masahiro arched a brow. She seemed like a totally different person now, nostalgic but very powerful.

"How should I remember something so trivial?"

"When you lost your rights to me, you both pushed your chairs back. Otousan stood first. He seemed a lot lighter than when he sat down. As he turned his back on you for the last time, he spoke the second of a pair of haiku: 'A future boundless as a cloudless sky takes flight on an eagle's wings.' For the moment, at least, he had secured my fate. I see now that in order to honor his efforts, I must set myself against you in the same manner he did, and I must win." Something in her surged, some inexplicably confident blaze traced the silvery surfaces of her eyes and flickered with an almost blinding brightness.

"You don't propose to challenge me to a game I mastered before your father was even born?"

"Challenge?" she echoed. "I plan to win. Since you like playing high stakes, then I propose a gamble." Haru stepped across the room, and every step echoed deafeningly. "If you win, then I will salvage this family by your means, but if I win, then I will do so by mine. By all rights, I should already have that privilege, but since you insist on keeping it from me, I will play you for it, and this time…" Haru shut her eyes and drew a breath. "This time, there will be no annulment." She had turned towards the door as she said it and begun pacing in that direction. Ishida, at a loss for words, quickly followed her. Masahiro lingered, leaning on his walking stick and gazing at his granddaughter's back. As she reached for the door, Yoshio pulled it open for a maid carrying the tea. She only just had time to step out of the way before Haru crossed the threshold.

"Haru-dono, where are you going?"

"To find a room big enough to house every eye in this god forsaken estate," she answered.

"Then you would want the east wing."

"Arigato."

"Ano…" Haru paused and glanced at him. He pointed over his shoulder with a smirk. "The east wing is that way."

"Iie," she murmured. "There is a passage that leads to it this way. If it wouldn't be too much trouble, take the tea there, please." She bowed her head in gratitude, causing the maid to shift uncomfortably and the plates to jostle. She also bowed to Yoshio before turning and proceeding down the corridor, followed by her ever loyal brother.

"Yoshio-san, you look confused," the maid noted. "What's the matter?"

"Betsuni," he said with a smile. "But for some reason, that kid suddenly seems to have her bearings."

* * *

><p>It was a silent game. Too silent, considering there were over fifty pairs of eyes in that room, all focused on a small table at the center, decorated only with two half-empty cups, thirty-two pieces, and a board with sixty-four black and white boxes. Haru was seated on the black side, currently in the deep throes of thought about one thing or another… certainly not the chess game, Ishida decided. She was plotting some greater move than that. At first, the favor had fallen with her grandfather, seated on the white side, but how quickly she changed fortune, as if enticing it to her aid. Her logic, muddled though it was in his eyes, was great enough to keep them equally matched. Now, he detected another turn coming. Masahiro reached for his remaining bishop. Clearly, he was targeting Haru's queen, but she had already laid three traps for him, and he had no way to recover. Just as the silence became overbearing, Haru lifted her tea and sipped it for a moment before setting the cup down again. "By the way," she stated as he reached for his bishop again. "I never thanked you for the decoy you sent. It was flawless, so much so that near the end of things, I almost forgot which one was real and which one wasn't."<p>

On second thought, he wouldn't move his bishop. He moved his rook instead.

"When I woke up, I was unsure of whether or not the whole thing was a dream. Hueco Mundo is where demons go to take a vacation from hell." She made her move as she spoke; admittedly, her alacrity wasn't the boldest thing about it. She had laid another trap for him, and as she gazed across the board, she saw him contemplating it. "Ojii-sama," she said when he seemed in his deepest thoughts.

"Impertinent child," he retorted. "Don't disrupt me when I'm thinking." He made his move, another hesitant one. Haru was beginning to corner him after a long and grueling battle. Perhaps it was the weight of guilt, or perhaps it was the unsettling nature of her own nonchalance that did it. In the end, it could even have been the fact that in that moment, nearly everyone in the room was of the opinion that while she looked almost exactly like her mother, her actions were definitely the mirror of her father's.

"Did you ever once stop to consider what I was before all of this?"

"What do you mean?" She smiled and leaned her cheek against one hand as she studied the board.

"Quincy," she said, her hand hovering over his rook. "Shinigami," she added a moment later, resting a finger on her own. "The line of demarcation between them makes them seem so black and white. That's the trouble with this world. No one stops to admire the shades of gray." Haru shifted her knight. It was a sacrifice she was willing to make if she could put him in check just once. The capture was over quickly and painlessly. She eyed the pawn she had been saving for just such an occasion. She folded her arms and studied the board with a look so intense, it could have melted steel. "Regardless of what I am, I will never fall. The phoenix rises from the cold ashes of dawn. The stars still glimmer." Her eyes drifted shut for a moment.

"Make your move, Haru-chan." She seemed to gather some motivation from that and let her hand hover for a moment. She had already risked her queen one too many times. She couldn't possibly do it again. At last, she moved her king one square to the left and ended her turn. "What made you decide that?"

"I just started thinking about all the people I know who don't really give much of a damn about who or what I am. When I think about them, I remember that no matter how high the hurdle, I can clear it for their sakes."

"Your aim is to protect your precious things, then? You're like a child with a dollhouse. Precious things can't be protected forever." He set his rook down softly, but the pain caused by the sound still caused Haru to flinch. "The fear has crossed your mind, then. Admit you doubt your own abilities, Haru-chan. Admit that you are not strong enough to protect everything you hold dear."

"Iie," she answered. "If I admitted that, then I would be denying the reason for my own zanpakutoh's existence." Haru's eyes blazed as they met his, and her hand trembled with a briefly forgotten anger. "Suzaku was born from vengeance. That Suzaku was not strong enough to defeat you or anyone else. The Suzaku I wield now, though… she moves only to protect. She is my reason for existence." Haru set her queen down matter-of-factly, having let go of all anxieties in losing it. No one could touch her queen, not Szayel, not Aizen, and certainly not her grandfather. It would only rise again from a pawn, powerless and meek in appearance.

Throughout the match, Haru was uncertain as to whether or not her grandfather felt any touch of anxiety. Now, she no longer doubted it. She had said or done something that made him hesitate, made him question his unquestionable authority. Haru glanced to Ishida, who seemed to perceive it also. A great disquiet swept through the crowd as one by one, the servants realized their master's sudden feeling of vulnerability. "Ojii-sama, are you certain you can handle me?"

"Urusai," he ordered, stretching out a hand. She noticed it was trembling slightly. Still, he managed to make his move without fumbling.

"So," she murmured at last, "you have heard of some prophecy regarding Suzaku. And here, I thought you weren't a superstitious man."

"Make your move." Haru peered at him, then shifted her pieces. It was an eternal waltz on a minefield, always dodging traps that could prove fatal if overlooked.

"Ojii-sama."

"What is it now?"

"That prophecy…" Her voice trailed off. Even she was respectful enough of the situation to let him have a fair shot at defeating her. "It came from a shinigami, yes?"

"What relevance does that have?"

"I thought you didn't trust anything that shinigami told you." Haru made her move and leaned back again.

"That… was no shinigami. A shinigami's shape, yes, but that was not a shinigami." He seemed relieved at his assertion, thinking it would put Haru's inquiries at rest. Unfortunately, it did nothing of the sort. As Haru planned her next three moves based on the current layout of the board, she saw her way to victory play out before her eyes. A faint recollection from her days of cramming for the captain's exam entered her mind and kindled a flame of long forgotten knowledge.

"Let me tell you something interesting I learned in Soul Society, since you doubt it is useful for anything." Haru continued scanning the board as she spoke. "Fujiwara Hitoshi was a wise man with a kind heart, but one day, he went mad and killed a thousand of his comrades. It is said that his power was somewhat altered, both in form and magnitude. What he once was made no difference, and he was stopped the only way he could be. His own comrades had to kill him. No one understood his dying words, but I think they had something to do with what he told you after you tore his zanpakutoh apart and reassembled it." Haru's pawn gently fell against the board, and she peered up at him. "Am I right?" Her gaze bore into him, calm yet firm. She knew she had him right where she wanted him. The next time he moved, he set his piece down with deliberate hardness.

"The Fujiwara are so much more than shinigami, but you wouldn't know that. You don't know what they are."

"Is that why you did it?" she demanded, not bothering to curb the fire in her voice. "Are you saying the reason you tampered with life is for the sake of some meaningless classification? Is that what I'm supposed to tell my vice captain when I apologize to him for the agony you put his father through, for the agony he still bears as stigma, scars, and the knowledge that the demon living inside of him suffers just as much as he does?" The old man swallowed and shifted his gaze. He somehow couldn't bear the inferno of Haru's fury. He couldn't answer the accusations. Apparently, the guilt had suddenly grown too much.

"You're saying…" He paused. "You're saying that you somehow coerced a Fujiwara into following you?"

"Coerced?" Haru echoed disdainfully. "You couldn't coerce Takumi into anything. He chose to follow me. He practically begged me to be his captain." She felt like it discredited him quite a bit to say such a thing, so she shifted her eyes for a moment and resisted the urge to tremble in fury. "He does it because he knows I don't care about anything like classification, and by that same respect, he disregards my bloodline, through which he lost his father, his social standing, and several times, nearly his life." When she glanced up at Masahiro, his expression was not one of certainty but one of complete and utter loss. He seemed to see what she had spotted long ago and concealed inside of her, that the next three moves would decide the game. He stared at her for a moment more with that same dumbfounded expression. Then, with solemn resolution, he lifted his king off of its square and laid it down. Haru's eyes blazed for a moment before falling shut. "You intend to make a fool of me, then, and deny me even this victory?"

"Your winning move was played long before today." He grabbed his cane and leaned on it as he rose and pacing away with more rapidity than he had set forth before.

"Ojii-sama," she murmured. "Matte kudasai, Ojii-sama!" Haru stood hastily, disrupting a few of the pieces as she did so, but their ranks no longer mattered. He had nullified their significance. "I don't understand! I realize you don't owe me anything, but please tell me this much. What do you mean by doing this?"

"When the skillful demon follows the sun, Suzaku's cleansing fire will rain down from heaven, and a great house will rise under the mountain." Haru's brows fell together at the riddle, and she began to walk after him. Then, she immediately thought better of it. Still, her curiosity bade her to speak, and as she did, she felt all comprehension drain from her body. Desperation to satisfy understanding quickly surfaced in its place.

"But I don't understand. What does it mean? Ojii-sama!"

"Do you think I understand the words?" he spat. "I no more understand them than you do. All I do know is that you are somehow concerned in them, but in a veiled sort of way that no amount of thought can penetrate. If you want to understand them, go ask that vice captain of yours."

"Demo…" Her hand quivered slightly. Some thought had crossed her mind, and she suddenly moved to follow him with more decisiveness than she had demonstrated.

"Haru-sama…"

"Matte!" she demanded with more volume than she had first intended to use. Haru stirred uncomfortably, but her word produced the desired effect. He had finally stopped moving, but he didn't dare turn around to look at her. "I know you don't think it's possible to protect anything. After all that has happened, I don't blame you. However, I am telling you right now, you and everyone else in this room, that my only reason for fighting is to protect, whether I'm fighting for my own pride or for someone important to me."

"Why are you rambling, Haru-chan?"

"I just wanted you to be aware of it," she stated. Masahiro turned back to her with quite a different look than he had been walking away with. "I didn't win this for my own sake. I did it for the captain who, before I disappeared without a trace, asked me to marry him." The room went dead still as those words fell like leaden snow. Her gaze dared him to object. For a moment, it seemed Masahiro had lost the ability to control words, but he soon found it.

"What did you say?"

"I couldn't give him an answer."

"You intend to."

"Absolutely," Haru answered with a smile.

"Do you expect to get my blessing?"

"Of course not," Haru stated. "Like I said before, I just wanted you to be aware of it." He seemed thoughtful. Troubled, but thoughtful, and as his eyes met the determined violet gaze of Haru, something flickered in them that had been absent for a long time. She bowed her head to hide the smile that crept over her lips, then turned in the opposite direction. Ishida bowed his respects and followed her. Small murmurs followed her out of the room, and once they were out of earshot, her brother stepped beside her.

"Haru-sama, I…"

"I know," she murmured. "You didn't tell me because you were afraid that I would stop seeing you as a brother. The only thing I'm curious about is whether or not you ever saw me as anything besides a sister."

"Of… of course not!" he said immediately. She gave him a dubious look that made him sigh and hang his head. "Only for a little while when we were kids, but I swear, that's it. Whatever lingering trace of hope I had, I gave up when I heard about you and Byakuya-san." She studied him intensely for a moment.

"Are you sure you're alright with this?"

"Please," he retorted. "Ever since that day, you've been my sister, and the greatest joy you can give me is to smile. Besides, I should be asking you that question."

"Nande?"

"The way the conversation ended, it seems like you left a lot unsaid."

"Ojii-sama understands," she answered. "He knows I want to protect Soul Society and this family. On some level, I think he knows that, but he doesn't understand why." Haru stepped outside and studied the road that led away from the estate. "In all honesty, I don't think he needs to understand in order to acknowledge it. Doubt him if you will, but something tells me you won't be doubting long."

* * *

><p>"So, you say you finished it, then?"<p>

"Hai," Haru stated, sipping her tea and peering across the table at Rukia, who examined her with a faint interest. "He was the one that relinquished control over my fate, a fate my father had already won for me before I was old enough to understand why he didn't want my mother knowing I was there."

"Your family history sounds complicated."

"It is," she replied with a sigh. "A quincy father and a shinigami mother… mixed blood doesn't exactly bode well for a noble."

"They don't place much value on merit, do they?" Rukia paused and glanced away. "Sumimasen. I shouldn't have spoken so bluntly."

"Iie," Haru answered. "On the contrary, I would rather people be direct with me."

"Nande? Do you think you can change a thousand generations of constancy?"

"That is rather unrealistic."

"Then why do you wish me to speak clearly?"

"If no one tells me they have problems with how I'm doing things, then how am I supposed to know?" she retorted. Haru tilted her cup back and swallowed before continuing. "I notice you've made no comment on my methods for gaining power. To gamble everything on a single game of chess… nii-san would have chided me for my recklessness all the way home if he hadn't had other things on his mind."

"You can be a bit extreme at times," Rukia confessed. "Speaking of, I don't appreciate you disappearing and faking your own death."

"I told you before, I hadn't intended to fake anything except my betrayal."

"Even that was too much," she answered. "Nii-sama was, and probably still is, beside himself. If you had any right mind, you would just go back now and forget everything else." Haru couldn't help but laugh slightly.

"I believe in patience, Rukia-san. I don't intend to test his by delaying. I merely intend to keep my own in check." She moved her cup slightly and peered at her own reflection, noting the lingering intensity in her eyes despite the placid smile on her face. "If I had my choice, I would have gone back to him the minute I woke up, but at that point, Suzaku was dormant, and I could barely walk around the basement, let alone through the streets of Seireitei. It's selfish, I know, but I didn't want him to see me like that."

"Nande?" Rukia inquired. "He has seen you weak before. What difference would it make?"

"Weak, yes… but entirely useless?" She shook her head slowly.

"I find that rather unfair, Haru-dono." Haru made a noise of surprise. She had nearly brought her tea to her lips but quickly drew the cup away and gave Rukia a puzzled look. "That side of yourself… you shouldn't be afraid to let nii-sama see it."

"I never said I was afraid, Rukia-san," she murmured, bowing her head slightly. "To be honest, it was his expression I was afraid of seeing. Would he still look upon me as he did before I left? If he refused to look at all, it would break my heart. If so, then it would hurt worse. You probably saw him in a pitiful state once he heard news of my death. Imagine for a moment what it would be like for him if instead, he wavered on uncertainty, not knowing whether or not I would live. Iie… it is better for me to bear the uncertainty, and let him think I am gone forever." Haru finished her tea and set the cup down, sighing heavily.

"You're saying you would rather suffer for him than see him suffer for you?"

"Hai," Haru answered with a smile, rising to her feet. "I know it's foolish. I don't need you to tell me that…"

"Haru-dono." Rukia wordlessly picked up the tea pot by its handle and refilled Haru's cup. Haru peered at it bewilderedly for a moment. She saw Haru hesitate, then succumb to her silently communicated will and fold her legs one more time. "You don't have to bear his suffering. Nii-sama is strong enough to bear his own. Besides, I think he would rather have had you there than think he would never see you again."

"What gives you that idea?" she inquired. Rukia said nothing. She simply smiled over her tea cup and sipped its contents thoughtfully.

"Call it a hunch, but something tells me he would value you even without your strength." Haru considered it for a moment. There had been times in the past when she had lacked strength or shown a weaker side of her nature, and every time, even at the beginning, even right after her demise, he had been there to bolster her strength, to bind her wounds, to dry her tears, to quiet her soul… there had been moments of weakness, but she still used her power to fend for herself.

"That may be so, Rukia-san, demo…" Haru paused and lifted her cup to her lips. "Demo… Byakuya-sama needs to stay strong. I understand that even a man like him has moments of weakness. At the same time, I am going to need him when I return. I am going to need him to realize what I did and why I did it, and also… if I ever wish to be a captain, I am going to need his words of favor."

"If words don't work, then use action."

"Nani?" Haru demanded.

"Forgive me for requesting this, Haru-dono, but if you can stomach swallowing your pride and becoming nii-sama's third seat again…"

"I can't," she interrupted, trying without success to curb the blaze in her eyes. "It isn't my pride that makes me say that. I was proud to be part of his division. I have promises that I have to keep, to Yamamoto-soutaichou-sama, to Takumi and Momo-san, and most of all…" Haru touched the ring around her neck and stared vacantly out the window for a moment. "You understand, Rukia-san, that if we ever do get to that point… if we ever actually… that is to say, it's alright if you don't see me as family."

"Where did that come from all of a sudden?" Rukia demanded, her face flushing at the way Haru had danced around the subject at hand.

"Gomen," Haru answered, smiling in amusement. "It was just on my mind is all, and I thought I should say something. Anyway, I understand why you wouldn't. What worth am I to you?"

"You're Ishida's sister, Ichigo's guardian, Renji's companion, and nii-sama's fiancée. And at the very least, I consider you a friend and ally." Rukia bowed her head as Haru looked her way. "If you leave again, Haru-dono, at least have the common decency to tell us."

"Hai," she answered softly, knowing that it would inevitably wind up in Rukia scolding her. _Maybe not now, _she thought, drinking her tea and returning Rukia's smile. _But someday, maybe even someday soon, I'm going to wind up calling her sister._

* * *

><p>For some reason, Takumi was much less stressed working for only one division, one that currently had no captain. The only guiding hand he had was that of Hinamori, who insisted that they keep the office impeccably clean, and her meticulousness never ceased to entertain him, especially in regards to surfaces that the eye normally didn't see. "You've washed it three times," he argued.<p>

"Yes, but they haven't been cleaned in so long… I'm just making up for lost time."

"You could always get a step ladder," he stated, dropping to his knees and allowing her to scramble up on his shoulders. When she began to sway gently, he knew it was because she was in active pursuit of some fleck of dust that dared to settle on the tops of the shelves she had just cleaned again.

"I'm putting you to good use so you don't cause trouble."

"What trouble could I cause?" Takumi inquired, glancing up at her and smiling faintly. "No thanks to the little incidents with the hollow, this division has accepted me as their vice captain. It's such a high honor, though… I can't imagine why you keep putting me on my knees like this."

"Maybe you shouldn't let your third seat boss you around." Hinamori enjoyed her simplified life and missed none of the authority of her old seat, not merely because the captain who had instated her for his own sinister purposes was now a dimension away, but also because Takumi had continued treating her as an equal. He didn't even utilize a false ego in regards to his authority, finding such displays of power pointless. That aside, things were much less hectic once she had stepped down. The weight of responsibility slid softly off of her shoulders, and she was allowed to enjoy herself just a little more… though as the third seat of a division that was still without a captain, she had her fair share of grunt work. Still, it wasn't so bad with Takumi, who somehow made it seem less like work and more like one continuous flow of actions. She jumped off of his shoulders and waited for him to move over, but he seemed to have become more absorbed in his thoughts. "Takumi…"

"Hmm?" he asked suddenly.

"What were you thinking about? Did you see something?" He smiled and shook his head at her concern, then moved over. "Come on. I know that look, Fujiwara Takumi. You were thinking about something… miracle, though it is. I didn't think you were capable of such things." He laughed slightly and peered up at her. "The only question left is, what in heaven's name were you preoccupying yourself with?"

"A dangerous question, Momo-san," he answered, getting to his feet and stretching. His shoulders were a bit sore, but he wasn't about to complain. Besides, she finally seemed satisfied with the work she had done. The only thing that vexed her at the moment was his secrecy, and he smiled to cover up his concerns and his thoughts while turning his gaze inward towards them.

_Akumashoku… _He let his visible eye harden as he peered at the wall.

_What's the matter? This place is blazing with the fury of a thousand suns._

_I just saw something… rather troubling, and I have this uneasy feeling that something is about to happen._

_Well, the day will soon come when that captain of yours is supposed to come back to life, and I would say that you were merely nervous, but judging from the blaze below, I'd say it is something much more than that. _Takumi raised a hand to his chin and shut his eye, sighing heavily as he let his thoughts bear him away. When he had just about withdrawn into himself, Hinamori's voice caused him to peer at her. She had at some point seized his free hand and was holding it with an unsteady grasp. The lines hadn't even spread that far, but she was getting to the point where she simply knew that he was at risk of overdoing it.

"Takumi…"

"I'm fine," he responded, smiling and giving her shoulder a reassuring pat. He moved to withdraw, but she stepped in front of him. The air between them was immediately transformed into something so serious that he contemplated the safeness of breathing for a moment. He deemed it safe after a moment and released a sigh, but his eye never left hers. "Nandesuka?" He waited for her to say something, but she remained silent. _This is bad, _he thought, peering at the ground. _The way she's looking at me, I… I want to… _Takumi rammed the notion into the back of his mind and rested a hand on her shoulder, causing her to look bewilderedly up into his gaze, which was visibly anxious despite the smile on his face. "You've been acting so strange lately, Momo-san. I can't help but wonder if you keep asking me if everything's alright because there's something wrong with you."

"Iie… that isn't it at all," she answered.

"Even so…" Takumi shifted forward by an inch to peer closer at her eyes. "You will tell me if this is too much for you, right?"

"What would be too much?"

"Teaching me how to do paperwork in the mornings, cleaning and sparring in the evenings, and dealing with everything else between that… it's a wonder you haven't gotten tired of me yet."

"It's hard to wear out your presence," Hinamori stated. Takumi scoffed and removed his hand from her shoulder, smiling slightly at her attempt of complimenting him. "Do you think I'm lying?"

"I still think you're trying too hard."

"Since when did I have to try?" she demanded irately, "And what the hell are you smiling for?"

"Aren't you supposed to smile when you're happy?"

"And me being mad makes you happy?"

"Well…" His voice trailed off for a moment, then he shook his head and attempted to walk past her again. Hinamori hastily blocked his path, causing him to blink in bewilderment. "What gives? Move."

"Iie."

"Momo-san, don't be stubborn."

"You're one to talk." Takumi moved forward again, but she immediately stepped in front of him. If she knew his movements this well, then they had definitely been sparring too much. "You never tell me anything, Takumi. You just say things like that and then walk away. That's all you've been doing lately. If it's something I did, then tell me. Don't just leave me to figure it out." He gave her that same serious look, one that nearly ordered her to back off, but she had long since grown immune to it. Then, he gave her an uneasy smile.

"It's nothing you did, alright? Don't worry so much."

"Then what is it?" Hinamori demanded, stepping forward. Takumi instinctively drew away, glancing about for an opening before letting his one visible eye fall hopelessly back on her. "Stop avoiding me, Takumi."

"What reason do I have to avoid you?"

"Why don't you tell me?" she shot back. He turned to one side as she took one step closer, and wound around her hastily. Hinamori followed his movements with her eyes and immediately paused, then closed both fists and began pacing towards him with some sort of intention.

"Chotto matte, Hinamori-san… think about what you're doing for a moment. Oi, are you listening to me?" With every step forward she took, Takumi took one in retreat. He wasn't about to run away, but he wasn't about to let himself be backed into a corner. He listened closely to his zanpakutoh's directions and continued walking backwards, holding up his hands and waving them slowly. "Hey, come on… I don't mean anything by it, I swear."

"Then what do you mean?'

"Well…" Takumi fell silent again and lost focus. He felt his legs bump against something, and in glancing away momentarily to see what it was, he made his fatal mistake. "Sofa?" he stammered, whirling back to his pursuer, who proceeded to take complete advantage of the situation. Before he could object, she threw her arms around him, and he stumbled over the arm of the piece of furniture, falling heavily on the cushions with a slight cough because of the weight on top of him. For a few moments, Takumi peered at the ceiling, unable to process how exactly he had come to that position, tangled up as he was with his sanseki. Then, he remembered that around that point, he was supposed to be objecting. He sat up enough to find her eyes, but her face was buried against his chest. The fact that her arms were still latched around him didn't exactly provide him with a full range of motion "Oi, Hinamori…"

"Don't say it," she murmured, rubbing her face against the fabric of his shihakusho and clinging to him that much harder. Takumi deliberated for a few moments, then let himself fall back with a doleful blush, folding one arm behind his head and draping the other across her back so that one hand rested on her shoulder. "Nande?"

"Hmm?"

"Why… for someone like you…" Hinamori peered up at him, and he read every ounce of pain etched into her expression. Perplexed, he raised himself up on one arm and attempted words of encouragement, but he knew instantly that wasn't what she wanted to hear. "Just now, you were calling me Hinamori. Have I really become that much of a nuisance to you?" He wanted to tell her that it was merely a deterrent, but somehow, it didn't seem right, so he threw his eyes away again. He felt her fingers tighten around the fabric of his uniform and a tremor of anger worked through her body. "Stop ignoring me!"

"I'm not," he answered, slinging the arm that had been draped over her shoulders a moment before over his eyes.

"Then, what…"

"I don't know, but for some reason, it's really hard for me not to notice you." He pressed his hand to his face and heaved a sigh. "It's complicated, so for your own sake, don't ask me anything else about it."

"What's so complicated about it?"

"Plenty," Takumi said simply without looking at her. "That's why I'm asking you to let it go." Hinamori bent her head for a moment, peering scornfully at his uniform since she couldn't bear to look in his eyes.

"So you're saying that whatever happened, I should just forget about it?"

"It would be in your best interest." She shut her eyes and sighed, analyzing his tone for a moment before glancing at his own face. In the past, she had admittedly hesitated with her sentiments, misguided though they were, and she had let herself be betrayed, but with him… there was something childlike about him, as if he were entirely incapable of deceiving others. Something in Hinamori knew that he wouldn't lead her on. Otherwise, he wouldn't have done what he had a day ago. That old determination flared up in him, and she considered for a moment that it may have been displaced from her time of following Aizen, but she quickly verified the theory as false, not merely because they were too different, but because she had never felt the need to actively pursue her captain.

"You coward," she murmured, trailing one finger along his forehead and sweeping his hair aside. Startled, Takumi peered at her as she gently pushed his hand away from his face. "Why don't you admit that you don't want me to just forget about it? What are you scared of? It's only me." He gave her a lost look as her fingers slid beneath the eye patch and pushed it aside, then gently followed the two scars on the left side of his face. Even as his crimson eye locked on her, she didn't give the slightest indicator of fear or anxiety. Takumi's flickered with the dim light of the setting sun, and with great difficulty, he tore his gaze from her, but her hand, still at the right side of his face, gently forced his head back. "Takumi, I want you to kiss me again."

"I can't. I shouldn't have in the first place."

"Onegai," Hinamori added.

"Don't you get it yet?" He glanced away for a moment and then peered back to her. "If you let yourself get involved with me like this, then you'll suffer dearly for it."

"What makes you say that?"

"Don't be dense," Takumi said firmly. "What will people think?"

"I don't really care what they think."

"Baka!" More furious with himself than he was with her, he glanced aside, then shut his eyes and clenched his jaw. "Listen, Momo-san… don't think this isn't hard for me, too, but I really, really think you should just forget about it."

"I won't."

"Don't be so stubborn."

"I won't," she repeated, "because ever since that day you lost your eye, I've been falling for you."

"You shouldn't say things like that."

"Well, you're certainly not saying them," Hinamori retorted. Takumi glanced at her, obviously mortified beyond all reason, then sighed and propped himself up on his arms.

"What about that Toushiro guy?"

"We're close, but only as childhood friends."

"And Aizen?"

"It's in the past." He studied her for a moment.

"Is there anyone else?"

"For the gods' sakes, Takumi, what do you take me for?" Hinamori demanded. He smiled until she punched him in the arm, at which point he winced in pain. "There you go smiling again. What the hell is your problem?"

"Maybe I'm just admiring the view." His gaze grew in intensity as he placed one hand under her chin. Hinamori studied him for a moment and let a smile spread across her face.

"You're blushing." Takumi acknowledged her accuracy with his eyes and leaned forward slowly, just in case she had second thoughts. Somehow, he knew she would have none. They came so near that he could feel Hinamori's breath against his lips. He hesitated, knowing that at this critical moment, his courage would fail. He was about to set his fear aside when something disrupted him, and he threw his crimson eye to the door before backing away.

"Hajime," he stated, causing Hinamori to vault to the other end of the sofa and fold her hands in her lap, peering away from him. His friend was standing in the door, smirking as he leaned against the frame. "What's wrong? Is it another hollow attack or something? I don't see any…" Takumi shut his eyes for a moment just to be sure, then peered back to his friend.

"Strange, isn't it?" he stated, ignoring the rouge tint in Hinamori's cheeks and shutting the door behind himself. "If nothing happens tonight, then this will be the first time in almost three weeks that there hasn't been an infiltration of some sort. It sort of makes me uneasy… so I thought I'd come and check to make sure that you weren't seeing any catastrophes in the near future."

"Baka," he retorted, dropping his head and pressing a hand to his left eye. "You know as well as I do that I usually don't choose to see anything. It just happens." Hajime studied the two of them for a moment with that same bemused look on his face. "What the hell is your problem?"

"Oh, nothing…" Something in his tone implied to both Hinamori and Takumi exactly what his problem was, and when their eyes met briefly, they immediately turned in opposite directions. "To be honest, that's not the only reason I came here," Hajime admitted. "I'm actually looking for some documentation on Tokazawa Misuzu, and I hear from Hitsugaya-taichou that you may know where I can procure such information."

"Yeah. The damn library."

"Really, now?" he answered. "Because I hear you have something of interest here."

"Forget it. You heard wrong." Takumi's eyes burned with contempt, and they followed Hajime about the room as he paced its length and rounded back towards Takumi with a very calm look. "I know you're still digging into the Yamashita clan. You'll find answers you don't like if you keep pursuing the matter."

"You say that as if you know," Hajime answered. "Could it be… that there's something you're not telling me, Takumi?" As he peered to Hinamori, he noticed the girl's head was bowed, either in mortification or avoidance, and he decided not to ask. Takumi, equally reticent, threw his gaze to the wall, not caring to explain how he was related to his friend's research. "Well, it's not as if I want to keep this source forever. I promise I'll bring it back. It shouldn't take me that long to get what I need from it."

"I don't understand what Tokazawa Misuzu has to do with your research," Takumi stated flatly.

"You really are clueless when it comes to things like this. How you got promoted to vice captain is beyond me." His mismatched eyes found Hajime in a state of sheer elation despite the fury in the atmosphere. "Don't you know that she married a Yamashita when she went to the human world?" Something grim dragged through Takumi's eyes, and he threw them aside again, ignoring the fact that Hinamori was studying him in a vain attempt to decode exactly what he was feeling. "Her blood once coursed through the veins of someone very close to you. Honestly, you say you can see anything with that eye, yet you overlook the strangest things…" Without a word, Takumi rose and peered at Hajime, who stroked his chin in thought.

"Why are you pursuing this study, Hajime? Is it for Shimori-sensei, or is it something else?"

"It may be true that he started looking into it. He had his own reasons, reasons I'm not at liberty to discuss, but the real reason I'm doing it is Haru-sama." Hinamori couldn't withhold an involuntary jerk, and Takumi's eyes widened when the name descended on them. Takumi closed his fist and dropped his eyes to the ground again. Then, calmly, he covered his left eye with the usual apparatus and strode towards the door.

"Do what you want."

"Takumi, where are you going?" Hinamori called.

"I need some air."

"I'll go with you."

"No." He paused for a moment and added, "I… it's alright. Just… do me a favor and lock up when you're finished." She scrutinized his hand, which seemed at first to be quaking, but it was difficult to tell considering the distance between them, which hastily became a physical barrier as he passed out of the office. Hajime crossed his arms and shook his head for a moment, then strode towards the desk and removed the volume that he had sought.

"H… Hajime-san," Hinamori murmured. "I… I know it's not my place to tell you, but…"

"I know." She blinked and peered at him, perplexed at his hasty response. "I know all about what the Yamashita clan did to his father and what that zanpakutoh is still doing to him. They may have made amends, but that doesn't mean he isn't tormented by the thought of following a Yamashita."

"What are you talking about?" she quickly stated.

"You can drop the ruse, Hinamori-san."

"Demo… doushite?"

"Why else would he be promoted this quickly if not for her?" Hajime posed a completely legitimate point, one that Hinamori was not prepared to deal with. "Still, this is troubling in itself, that his left eye should fail to see the truth in a critical moment…" He bowed his head and considered the matter for a moment, then peered to Hinamori and smiled as if he had suddenly discovered the source of his companion's imperfection. "You should go after him."

"He doesn't want me to," she answered.

"He didn't mean that," Hajime reassured her. "Perhaps I should explain something about Takumi. He's the sort of person who is perfectly fine as long as the relationship is clearly platonic. When it ever starts becoming more than that, he oscillates between accepting the other person's feelings and rejecting his own. Considering his zanpakutoh, I don't blame him for it in the least. Back in his academy days, he was rather popular with the ladies. In the end, he would always reject them only to spite himself."

"I don't understand why he would endure so much pain."

"Probably because he knew if any girl saw him when he wasn't in control of himself, it would make her cry, and that is one of the very few things he can't stand in this world." Hajime sighed and leaned against the desk. "But you… you've seen the worst sides of him, and you've embraced every one of them. That's why I'm telling you to go after him. Give him time. If he doesn't come around, I'll talk to him myself." Hinamori glanced up as Hajime peered at her. "I can see that you make him very happy, Hinamori-san. You put his mind at ease. I've always wanted him to meet someone that did that for him."

"But you're his friend. Don't you do the same?"

"Well… that's a difficult question to answer. I guess it depends on the day. He showed me his eye once; I was the first person to see it. Still, I could tell he was nervous because he tried not to look at me. If he was looking at you that closely, then I have no doubt that he was entirely comfortable with you." Hajime paced towards the door. "I know he's difficult and pig-headed sometimes, but if you feel anything for him, please try to bear it. He's broken his own heart so many times…" Hinamori followed him out and sealed the door. After wishing her a good evening, Hajime paced towards his own quarters with the book wrapped in his arms. A fine white powder was beginning to descend from the sky, visible through the misty breaths she released on the air. She regarded Takumi's friend for a moment, then began forward with a destination in mind and enough resolve to at the very least get her there.

* * *

><p>"Come on, Haru-sama…"<p>

"Iie… it's embarrassing," she argued from the other side of the door.

"Would it kill you to let me see?" There was silence for a moment.

"Perhaps." Ishida sighed and leaned his head against the door.

"You're being completely impossible. It's almost exactly like your coat, except a little longer."

"And a lot heavier," Haru added. Ishida contemplated for a moment, and from a strictly sewing point of view, how a simple haori could be heavier than that coat. After failing to come up with an answer, he shook his head and knocked with slightly more insistence.

"It's only me, Haru-sama. Besides, I'm the one that made it." A tense silence hung in the air, during which Ishida's expectancy increased vastly.

"Promise you won't laugh?" she inquired.

"Why would I laugh?"

"I don't know… maybe because you're a quincy, and you think this whole shinigami garb is absurd." Ishida laughed at her response, and despite his best efforts to hide it, she soon chided him from behind the door. "See? You're laughing already, and I haven't even come out yet."

"Honestly, Haru-sama, I wouldn't be laughing if you hadn't said what you did. I'm not a critic or a judge. I'm your brother." Ishida felt the door sliding under his hands and stepped back. As the barrier to his sight slowly faded away, he was greeted with the sight of Haru, proudly wearing the light blue sash with eighteen open white lotuses and one open red one, but beyond that was her haori, the one that outwardly signified her captainhood. It was sleeveless, as was her preference during combat, and its underside, like the captains before her, was a deep shade of black. Her arms were folded behind her back, but Ishida perceived the glove-like apparatuses that stretched the length of her arms. Her hair was down, and her eyes, no longer impeded by the glasses, flashed vibrantly as she twirled about.

"Does it fit?"

"Of course it fits! I made it, didn't I?" Haru smiled at his ego.

"Yes, I suppose you did."

"But these…" Ishida took her left hand, examining the cross that hung from her wrist, as well as the one adorning the back of her hand, a white marking on the back glove-like apparatuses that stretched the length of both arms and ended just below her shoulder. He traced the marking, then noticed the bands encircling each glove. They were barely noticeable, and he wouldn't have seen them at all had they been in poor lighting. There were four of them from what he could tell, spaced evenly from just above her elbow to the tops of her arm wear. "Are they Suzaku's doing?" Haru nodded as Ishida continued examining them. "They're so light."

"Believe it or not, they are supposed to prevent me from getting chilly in the winter." Ishida pulled on one, observing as the fabric stretched and returned to its original shape once he released it. "They don't bother me at all, and they are pretty warm."

"Well, isn't that a relief," Ishida retorted. "You're going to be staring death in the face, but thank the gods, at least you won't catch a cold…"

"Nii-san…" she said wryly.

"Gomen, gomen… it's a dangerous job, but… well, it suits you. Just promise me you won't do anything reckless."

"Unless I deem it necessary, I shall try to avoid doing so." Haru smiled at the expression he made and turned away, unveiling the kanji etched on her back in the midst of a diamond outlined in black.

"Does this mean I should start calling you Yamashita-taichou?"

"Why would I make a quincy acknowledge my high status as a shinigami?"

"A valid point," he answered, smiling as he stepped into the room and followed her to the window. They peered out of the glass for a moment until Haru sighed and leaned her head against the glass. "I was starting to worry today."

"Nande?"

"You were alone with him so long…" He was referring to the period briefly after her victory, when she had been summoned to a private conference with him, and despite Ishida's objections, she had accepted. Ishida didn't dare utter her grandfather's name. Haru watched his eyes dart away in the glass. "Aside from this alteration," he said, gesturing to the red lotus, "what else did you discuss?"

"Mostly arrangements for fulfilling my family responsibilities. I'll be making trips here every few weeks for a while, but once things settle down, I won't be coming as often. And also…" Haru smiled broadly and covered her face, feeling the blood rushing to it.

"Nani?"

"He said… that once I am officially engaged, I should bring Byakuya-sama here to meet him." She turned her back to the window and shut her eyes, basking in the afterglow that repeating those words provided her with. "I can't see how they would ever get along, Byakuya-sama being the way he is, and ojii-sama being just the same way."

"I'm certain it will work out," Ishida said firmly.

"Byakuya-sama can be relatively unforgiving…" Ishida set his hand on her shoulder, and she peered up at him.

"If he feels strongly about you, I'm certain that he can overlook your deception."

"On such a grand scale? Are you serious?" Haru inquired. Shaking his head, Ishida turned away from her.

"Haru-sama."

"Hmm?"

"We should eat soon." Haru readily agreed. She whirled about one more time and held her arms up, watching as its bottom swayed around her knees.

"Arigato, nii-san. This is even better than a kimono."

"Kimono? What kimono?"

"You honestly don't remember?" Haru asked as she reentered her gigai. Quite suddenly, she was not a shinigami at all but a normal looking girl in the guise of a human. The same violet eyes stared at him as she paced forward. "When I was young, you promised to make me a kimono one day. It was at your grandfather's funeral, if I recall… not to bring up bad memories or anything."

"Ah, now I remember," he answered, dropping his fist into an open palm. "Then it's settled. It'll be my next project."

"But it's a really busy point in the semester, and with the war coming up…"

"Relax," Ishida answered. "I've got a while before it needs to be done."

"Nani? What does that mean? Ishi-nii!" Haru nagged him all through dinner about the cryptic nature of his message. Despite her best efforts, she could not get a single hint out of him. That night, she went to bed with a full stomach but a curiosity that was far from sated.

* * *

><p>Takumi filled his mouth with food again, dining with no one but the darkness around him, the warmth he derived from the kotatsu, and his own mildly irritating thoughts. <em>This is ludicrous, <em>he thought, folding his hands and leaning his forehead against them. _Today, I almost… I almost let myself… _With a growl of frustration, he filled his mouth again and swallowed before he had finished chewing, irritated with the nature of things and, more than anything, with his own inadequacy. _I'm no noble. I live by what I feel. It's never caused me trouble like this before._

_Then perhaps you shouldn't try so hard to fight your emotions._

_Fight them? _Takumi demanded silently as he took another bite of dinner. _All of this is your fault!_

_Please… I don't dictate fate, Takumi._

_But you pushed me into this situation._

_I was only pushing you where you truly wanted to go, _the demon replied, chuckling bemusedly as Takumi began to eat at lightning speed. _Can you even taste your food? _Takumi stopped in the midst of gorging himself, then swallowed what was in his mouth and let his head fall against the table. _Why are you so afraid of this, Takumi? It seems rather illogical to me._

_We've lived by hatred for our entire lives, _Takumi retorted. _We're anything but logical. _He pressed a hand to his forehead and drew a breath. Then, as composedly as he could, he indulged in a lengthy swill of tea. _I don't know what to do anymore._

_Well, for one, you can quit fighting it._

_Do you honestly think I can be granted a happy future just like that? I'm a Fujiwara. My father sold his soul for power. If I fall to ruin because of that, then I don't want to drag anyone else along with me, not Mari-onee, not Hajime, and certainly not her._

_Listen to yourself, Takumi, _Akumashoku replied. _You've just about convinced yourself that you would prefer solitude to companionship when only hours ago, you were certain of quite the opposite. You're so capricious… now, your father was a man who only wavered when he saw a good reason to doubt something. Otherwise, he charged ahead without regard for the consequences._

_Momo-san is different. She's not some objective; she's a shinigami like me. She has feelings of her own._

_I think you were more than acquainted with them today._

_Demo…_

_If you didn't hear her words, then I had hoped you heard her actions. You were so wrapped up in admiring her that you didn't really hear either._

_Akumashoku! _Takumi flushed, mainly because his zanpakutoh was teasing him about a matter that, in his mind, was as serious as any funeral.

_Gomen. Did I make you feel awkward?_

_Hell, yes!_

_Don't get worked up, now. _Acknowledging the possible consequences of doing so, Takumi took a deep breath and sighed again. _Now, think about your own feelings. Even if hers are uncertain, then you should be sure of your own._

_Well, I'm not. I never was. You should know that. _Takumi swallowed the rest of his tea and set to cleaning. Once he had finished, he returned to the kotatsu and buried himself up to his chin in the quilt while resting his head on the pillow he had just been sitting on.

_I think you know how you feel, but you're hesitant to admit it because you don't want any harm coming to her. Relax… I'm sure nothing serious will occur. If the feelings fade, they fade, but why not let them run their course? _Knowing that his zanpakutoh was undeniably right in that moment made him despise his situation all the more. _I'm certain that Haru has considered such matters with Byakuya, but while she was here, they were very happy together._

_And now, she's jeopardized that, all for some mission she never even told me about._

_Don't be so bitter, _Akumashoku instructed him. _Takumi, I don't ask much of you, but for your own sake, please stop turning a blind eye to the obvious. Please stop putting yourself in situations where you will suffer. For once in your life, please set your misgivings aside and just trust her. _Takumi tried to ignore his zanpakutoh's final words, but he couldn't; it was utterly impossible. So, he took the only escape he could consider in that moment: he shut his eyes and drifted near the brink of unconsciousness, so near that he saw himself standing on the cliff and about to throw himself into the comforting abyss. When a knock sounded at the door, he groaned and rolled over onto his stomach. As much as he hated to abandon his post, he did so because the knock sounded again. He made sure his eye patch was in place before opening it. Amidst the flurries descending from the sky, he discerned a figure in the darkness and instantly wished he hadn't gotten up.

"Why are you here?" he demanded, looking at the floor. A gust of wind sent some of the snow racing for its demise. Anything was better than being trapped by a force it couldn't escape.

"I… I'm not sure. I just thought I should come." Takumi peered at her critically, then turned away and motioned her inside. She gratefully stepped out of the gradually worsening conditions, removing her sandals and blowing a breath into her hands.

"Come on. Sit at the kotatsu. It's a lot warmer than lingering by the door."

"H… hai," she said breathlessly, meandering over to the heated table and pulling the quilt up to her shivering shoulders. Takumi watched her at a distance, regarding her movements in much the same way he always did. Once he saw that she was settled, he strode to the kitchen and set some water on to boil for tea. As he did so, he detected Hinamori's eyes locked on him, studying his every motion as if fixated by his mannerisms. "Ano, Takumi…" He said nothing; he merely began to boil water and retrieved the can of tea leaves. Even after that, he lingered in the kitchen, watching the pot with one doleful eye. Going only on the supposition that he was listening, Hinamori continued. "About today… I… I feel like I should apologize for something, but I'm not sure what. I know I was pushing a little too hard. I probably made you uncomfortable, not to mention the timing was terrible, and the location was entirely inappropriate. Despite that, I… I can honestly say that I meant what I asked you earlier. Demo… I only meant it was what I wanted. I didn't think that… that you might not…" Her voice trailed off, and though she wasn't about to cry because she knew he hated a woman's tears more than anything, she hesitated. She still wasn't quite sure of what she should say. After gathering her courage, Hinamori looked at him again to find that he was still staring at the tea with the same listless expression on his face. "So, if you don't feel that way for me, then just say so. It won't bother me."

Hinamori drew the conclusion that he wasn't listening after all. He didn't even react to her voice. He simply continued staring at the water and waiting with an unsettling patience for it to boil. Having spent her courage, she simply bowed her head and sighed. Perhaps she had misinterpreted something, overlooked something, overthought the whole thing and conjured up more frustration than she should have considering the situation. Had it not been for Hajime's words, which lingered in her mind, then she would have even considered the possibility that she had been entirely wrong about him.

"I could say it." Startled, she glanced up to Takumi, who was now peering at her with his one visible azure eye, and probably with his concealed red one as well. "I could say it," he repeated, "but it would be a lie." It was with a surprising amount of placidity that Takumi crossed the floor, sat directly behind her, and wrapped his arms around her still quivering shoulders. He rested his head against one and let all of his uncertainties recede for the moment.

"T… Takumi…"

"Onegai… don't let go of those feelings." His left eye appeared over her shoulder, and as he leaned forward, he drew her back to his chest. "It's true that I'm very uncertain of myself. I have been ever since my zanpakutoh awakened. Still, if not for him, then I would be dead, and I would also be blind to all the delightful little glimpses I receive of the past and the future… and even the present. I wouldn't dream auguries the way I do. I wouldn't be who I am today if not for him. I've always been afraid to get to close to someone… because I didn't want to hurt that person with the secrets of my own powers. Demo…" A strange gleam crossed the azure eye peering at her, and he continued. "Demo… you're different than the others. They always said I looked nice. I never saw it when I looked in the mirror. But you told me something no one else ever has."

"What did I say?"

"You said… that I was a good person." Takumi smiled and bowed his head, concealing his gaze from view. "You're stubborn, and a little direct, and irascible sometimes… you're so reckless, and so sure of your own feelings. Still…" Hinamori objected a little when she found her head being turned by a strong hand, but when his lips met hers, all will to protest left her. Neither of them acknowledged the sharp whistle that cut through the silence and indicated that the water for the tea was ready.

* * *

><p>Haru awoke with a start and threw the pile of covers away from her head. It was still pitch black. Outside, a dusting of stars still flecked the sky. Her eyes glimmered as they wandered around the room. The sofa at her back beckoned for her to lie back down, but there was no way she could. She had been in a dream until a moment ago, and something powerful, something unexpected, had drawn her out of it. She pressed a hand to her face and pressed a strand of hair away from it. Her breaths came in strained gasps, but they quickly stilled once the initial shock wore off. Haru stared for a long moment at the window before pushing the covers entirely off and treading across the floor. <em>Haru-sama? <em>

_Suzaku, _she answered, leaning against the sill and peering out into the clear night. Something threatening flashed in them. She was in her gigai, wearing a tank top and a pair of flannel pants. The air in the room felt chilly against her bare arms, but a sense of foreboding warmed her. She pushed the strap up her shoulder before continuing her scrutiny of the outdoors. _If I'm not wrong, and I really hope I am, that was… _

_Hai, _Suzaku answered. _It is as you believe._

_Damn it, _she retorted, yanking the bracelet off of her wrist. _This is the worst start I've had to a morning since coming back from Hueco Mundo. _She caught her gigai before it hit the floor and carried it back to the couch, covering it to give it the appearance of peaceful slumber in case anyone happened to gaze through the window, then reached for her zanpakutoh and slid it into her obi, doing the same with her seele once she retrieved it. She was just about to throw herself out the window when she paused and glanced at the coffee table. Resting on its surface was the pride and joy of Ishida's handiwork, the captain's haori. She peered at it for a moment, then slowly returned as if in a trance. She knelt beside it and let her fingers brush against the fabric.

_What are you thinking about, Haru-sama?_

_You should know._

_I do, _Suzaku answered. _I just want to hear you say it. _Haru withdrew her hand and knelt beside it for a moment, gazing at the imposing goh etched on the back of the white fabric.

_I was just thinking of what I was going to do, and I was wondering whether or not it would be appropriate to wear this._

_I see. And have you come up with a suitable answer?_

_It is hard to say, _she stated. _I'm going to protect something, something that by all rights should not be protected. Still, I have a feeling that the conclusion of this matter will bring much more than that. _Haru jolted as she felt it again. No doubt about it. That was Rukia's reiatsu. She didn't know how long she would have before Ichigo or Ishida noticed it. She felt them moving as well. Her eyes glinted in contemplation as she stared vacantly out the window. That other something, that nagging feeling, clarified itself so strongly that her heart lurched. Slowly, she lowered her head onto the garment. _Should I take this, considering what I have to do probably tramples every line, barrier, division, and rule, written or unwritten, ever circulated amongst the streets of Seireitei?_

_Haru-sama, answer one question. Do not think… just answer._

_Alright._

_Are you a captain?_

_Of course._

_Like that question, this one should require no thought, _Suzaku responded gently.

_It is more complex than that. I am a representative of the fifth division and the Gotei 13. If I act unorthodoxly while wearing this, I… _Suddenly, Haru's thoughts ceased all together. True, neither Ichigo nor Ishida would be drawn by that other reiatsu, but Rukia's… and worse still, he would not be merciful with Rukia. He would only be merciful with her, and even then, his mercy was coarse. She smiled and bowed her head slightly. _Then again… since when have I let any system, or my representation of it, interfere with my pride? _Having added that, she seized the garment and pulled it over her shoulders. It had felt heavier the night before. Now, quite suddenly, it was weightless, as if it had always been a part of who she was. The transition excited her.

_You should hurry._

_I'll take the roofs as far as I can, then drop down to the street. _Haru threw the window open and vaulted over its sill. After shutting it behind her, she raced down the deserted corridor and jumped on the banister. _Now, _she thought, shutting her eyes and shifting her reiatsu. _Where are you? _She felt her reiatsu pulse, and almost instantly shot towards the graying eastern horizon. The breeze rushed past her at a blinding pace. _I'll have to keep reassessing their location, _she said to Suzaku. _I don't expect any pain, not at this level, but if you think there might be any…_

_Understood_, her zanpakutoh replied. Haru couldn't help but smile. It was nice to drift among the moon and the stars again. She used to take a great deal of delight in doing such things as a child, but now, night held some darker connotation. It reminded her of Hueco Mundo, and of the sweet past where she hadn't been intimately acquainted with its despicable inhabitants. She was getting closer. She knew because she heard the faint clang of metal against metal, and she felt a chill in the air that could only be the product of Sode no Shirayuki. Haru dropped into the street below and continued forward at a more casual pace, listening with great fascination to the rapidity of the blows that were being exchanged beyond her sight. _Haru-sama…_

_Hai?_

_You seem angry._

_I am not angry at you, Suzaku, nor am I angry at this situation. I am simply angry as to how it is coming about. _Haru shut her eyes and sighed. The vapors rose around her. As she walked, her cross jingled slightly, and she suddenly found herself humming the song she had left him with. The rhythm nearby was interfering with her focus, and she quickened her pace slightly. She peered around the corner just in time to see a zanpakutoh fly through the air and hit the ground a short distance away. Outraged, Rukia gazed upon her enemy, helpless to do anything but await the blow that would surely end her life. But then, just as his blade began to fall, it slowed to a stagnant half-raised state. His eyes flickered away from her, towards the long shadows of night from whence a faint humming and an empty rattle were approaching. Immediately, he lowered his sword and turned fully towards the figure walking amidst the darkness. Rukia held her breath, expecting some different enemy to leap out and tear her to pieces. Then, the idea crossed her mind to fire kidou at the back of his head and just kill him.

"Matte kudasai," said a familiar voice as the figure crossed into a beam of moonlight. Her violet eyes shimmered with a mixture of vexation and nostalgia. "Rukia-san, I hate to ask you this, but would you please stand down?"

"Haru-dono…"

"It's fine," she retorted. "You're not the reason he's here."

"Nani?" Haru's gaze sharpened as it shifted to Grimmjow, who was grinning like a Cheshire cat and striding slowly towards her.

"Took ya long enough, chibi honou."

"I told you before, call me some variant of my proper name. I really don't care which one at this point." The wind swept across the distance between them, and Rukia noted some peculiar things. The bloodlust in Grimmjow's eyes had died down to almost nothing. His sword, though he kept it drawn, remained at his side. Haru didn't even bother. Either she was confident that she could handle him without weapons… but no, that couldn't be it. She didn't even seem to have her guard raised. Her gaze flew away as Ichigo and Ishida appeared, both demanding to know if Rukia was fine, then preparing to unleash some kind of offensive against Grimmjow, at least until they caught Haru's fiery glare piercing through the darkness, fiery yet strangely placid considering his close proximity. With another sigh, she released the handle of her zanpakutoh, which she had seized in a moment of doubt, and glanced back to the hollow.

"You had better have a damn good explanation for dragging me out here this early, and managing to involve Ishi-nii, Ichigo, and Rukia-san."

"Haru-dono, I demand an explanation for this… this…" Grimmjow scratched his ear calmly as Haru heaved a sigh and bowed her head.

"I honestly don't get why you busted your ass to get back if all you were gonna get for it was a bunch of people gaping and pointing fingers."

"Baka," she retorted, pressing a hand to her head. "You're impossible. Anyway, I'm convinced it's important. There's no way someone like you would drag me out in public on peaceful terms if it wasn't." She turned with a sweeping motion, feeling his emerald eyes follow the symbol on her back as she paced to a farther distance. "So, why are you here, Grimmjow-san?" The directness of that question in the presence of so many made him uneasy, or perhaps it was the casual way in which she said it. She peered over her shoulder with one eye to study his reaction. His eyes fell to the ground. That familiar trepidation surfaced and caused her to turn towards him again. "I told you before, I wasn't a six anymore."

"It's not that."

"Then what?" Haru's suspicions raced to the only logical conclusion. "Is it Aizen?" He didn't raise his eyes, so she interpreted it as a negative response. That same uneasiness lingered. "Look, you already know it's something I'm not going to like hearing, so just say it. I won't blame you for it."

"Soul Society." Haru flinched as she heard it, and her eyes glimmered with a dangerous light. "They're… going to attack Soul Society."

"Nani?" Ichigo demanded. Grimmjow's eyes darted away. He wanted to kill the brazen boy, and all his friends, too, but for some reason, Haru's presence arrested his ability to do anything but glare, and he cast his furious gaze back to her. She was rooted to the ground with a look on her face that bespoke something far deeper at work than mere fear. She was terrified, as if her worst nightmare had suddenly crawled out of her dreams and now stood face to face with her.

"It's a trap they've set to find out if you're really dead or not. They figure if you aren't, then you'll show up. They plan to lure you out by using you as a bargaining chip. Then, they plan to kill you, and anyone else who stands in their way." Haru's expression changed as this information sank in.

"Who?" The murmured response was dark, but the light in her eyes flickered vividly as they fixed themselves on the bearer of bad news. It was so unnerving that he almost regretted coming, but before he could stay his words, he spoke.

"Szayel and Nnoitora."

"Both of them?"

"They didn't exactly appreciate the force you used escaping Hueco Mundo. Szayel's always complaining that his old wounds hurt sometimes even though he healed them long ago, and Nnoitora wants more than anything to tear you limb from limb. It's practically all I hear about."

"Rukia-san," Ishida stated. "If what this hollow says is true…"

"You can't honestly believe him!"

"Even so, I think it's best if you go back to Soul Society and assess the situation. Open a senkaimon and go."

"It won't work," Grimmjow interrupted. Haru's heart lurched, and her head fell into a bow. "Szayel didn't want any interference, so he disabled the use of senkaimon, here and in Soul Society."

"Is that even possible?" Ishida demanded.

"Kuso… the line isn't going through." Rukia stammered, slamming her phone shut and turning to Haru. She didn't move. She didn't lift her eyes from the pavement or give one shift in movement that indicated her acknowledgment. "Haru-dono!" She drew a breath and raised her head to the fading stars. The sun peering over the horizon terrified them, covered their light with its own brilliance. Without even thinking, she thrust a hand towards the east, as if reaching for the golden tethers of its rays. Her cross moved against the light, flickering like some celestial body in its last careening flight down to earth. In an instant, she drew the same hand back and pressed it to her forehead, tracing the bridge of her nose with her middle finger and releasing a sigh.

"Gomenasai, Shinji," she stated to no one in particular. "I'm afraid that just this once, I'll have to break my promise." A bitter smile crossed her face as she turned to them. "You'll give them my regards, Ichigo?"

"Let it go, Haru. There's nothing you can do."

"You're saying I should let this unforgivable travesty go?"

"Haru-dono, Ichigo is right. There isn't much you can do, even if you could get there."

"What do you mean, Rukia-san?" she inquired.

"When we crossed blades several days ago, I noticed that your movements were slow for a captain's, that your blows didn't quite have the force I expected from you. Even just now, I can tell you aren't at your best. Face it… you're still recovering from getting out of Hueco Mundo, aren't you?" Haru stared at Rukia in amazement for a moment, then let her eyes fall away.

"I'm surprise that you gathered that much just from one fight with me. However, my current state is irrelevant."

"Oi, Haru!" Ichigo chided. "Where are you going? Haru!"

"To Soul Society."

"Dumb ass!" Grimmjow shouted. Haru turned to him with her usual placidity. "You're the only shinigami alive that can say you saw the inside of Las Noches. I saw what you did to get out. I know you fought hard to get back, so don't you dare throw your life away!"

"Don't you get it?" she inquired in the same calm voice. His eyes didn't change, but he seemed more hesitant to jostle her any more than he had. "What got me out of Hueco Mundo wasn't the desire to live, or my loyalty to Soul Society. What got me out was the desire to see those I left behind again. You tell me not to throw my life away, but if I don't go back now…" Haru's eyes flashed open. The determined flame in them was enough to outshine the rising sun. "If I don't go back now, then I won't have much of a life waiting for me there."

"The hell are you going on about?"

"I'm a shinigami," she continued. "And as such, I am duty bound to protect Soul Society because it is precious to me and to the ones I hold dear."

"You're out of your damn mind!"

"I can't ask you to understand it," she said. "To be honest, I hardly understand it myself. Demo… if I stop to think about it, I'll lose everything I have to live for. That's why…" Her next motion surprised everyone present. Yamashita Haru, the new captain of the fifth division and the nineteenth heir to the Yamashita clan, bowed her head to the hollow. It couldn't be interpreted as anything but intentional. "Grimmjow-san, I realize I'm in no position to ask you for anything, yet I find myself required to ask you for this."

"What about your pride?"

"If I had any qualms about it, then they would definitely be from my pride, but even now, with this audience, I feel like I can ask you for this." Haru peered at him with a ridiculous amount of placidity, then let her eyes flicker once more. "I can't help but notice you haven't mentioned your gates."

"Of course not. They need to get in somehow, so why would Szayel seal off the garganta?" A frightening smile broke out over her face. It was the same one she had during the chess match when she grabbed victory from the jaws of the lion and paraded her trophy around. It was an unsettling smile. "Oi, I don't like your look. What the hell dumb-ass idea are you thinking?"

"Simple. I want you to open a garganta for me." Haru didn't make a sound as her feet left the ground and his hands hoisted her up to his eye level by the front of her uniform.

"Reckless idiot! Do you wanna die that badly?" Haru's gaze suggested that she did, indeed. Instantly, he thrust her away and turned away. "Open one yourself."

"Are you suggesting that I can?"

"How the hell else did you get out of Hueco Mundo?"

"That was a fluke," Haru answered. Outraged, Grimmjow turned to her, his eyes flashing with accusations and an anger that he was no longer willing to release. "Besides, traveling that way is pretty dangerous. It's nothing short of a miracle I found my way back in the condition I was in. Not to mention…" Her eyes flickered as they traced the faces of her spectators. "The only way I could open one there was to copy Aizen's reiatsu, which is pretty difficult to do given how tightly restrained I keep my own." There was a note of disdain in her voice when she spoke the name. It was obvious that she hated having to sink to that level more than anything, yet she was still candid enough to admit it to the espada, the quincy, the vizard, and the shinigami. He glanced at her, hesitated, and then looked away.

"What exactly do you plan to do when you get there?"

"It should be obvious."

"You think you can kill an espada?"

"At the level I am now, no, but if I go back to Soul Society, I can remove my limiter."

"Don't get cocky."

"Who's cocky?" Haru shot back, striding towards him with a hand on her zanpakutoh. "You once said you were certain you wouldn't win a fight against me. Care to test that theory?" For a moment, his gaze didn't waver. He was trying to maintain some show of strength for his own pride's sake, but unlike Byakuya, Haru's pride far outweighed his own. She continued stepping forward, inching her zanpakutoh out of its sheath by degrees until finally, he caved.

"Fine, fine!" he shouted, "but you'd better not forget that your blood ain't on my hands."

"I wouldn't dream of blaming you if anything happened." Haru averted her eyes for a moment, back to the ones she was about to leave behind again. She felt the flux of a garganta being opened and let some sort of bitter smile cross her face. Through it all, her uncertainty was obvious. She didn't know whether or not she would see them again, not considering the circumstances. Having no words that would sufficiently close the conversation or express her farewell, she simply bowed her head and turned away, certain of her action though uncertain of everything else.

"Haru-sama!" Ishida shouted.

"Stay," she said firmly, casting one violet eye back to him. "If you knew what I was going to do, you would probably be less willing to go."

"But I can help!"

"Iie."

"Haru-sama!"

"Iie," Haru repeated, this time more forcefully. Ashamed of her tone, she glanced away again. "I understand how confusing this is to all of you. I don't have the time to explain it now, but I promise I will when I come back, so until then, just wait, alright?" She seemed entirely fine with casting herself into that gaping hole between dimensions, and she didn't make an argument when Grimmjow followed her in. Once they were sealed off from the human world, Haru turned and began pacing gradually towards what she thought was Soul Society, but Grimmjow seized her from behind. "What gives?" Haru demanded.

"Let me lead," he retorted. "I know how shitty your sense of direction is." Haru nodded and drew back. "You're such a pain in the ass."

"No one ordered you to come here… so why did you?" He didn't answer. He simply pointed one finger in a direction quite similar to the one she was just heading in.

"Soul Society is that way. If you run, you may still be able to do something."

"Huh? You're not going to escort me?"

"Hell, no! I'm not your babysitter! You'll find your way if you just head in that direction. Besides, I gotta get back to Hueco Mundo." Haru hadn't considered the risk he had taken in coming there. Everything was on the line, and not even for her sake, but for someone else's. He folded his arms and peered away as Haru mused over it for a moment. "Ain't you gonna go?" When she didn't move, he glanced back to her and found that her head was lowered. "What the hell're you doing?"

"Arigato." The word choked him. "Arigato, Grimmjow-san, for this, and for everything."

"Shut up. If you want to thank me, then pay me back like you always do."

"Nande?" Haru inquired.

"You've gotta come back if you're gonna repay me." She looked startled for a moment, then let a smile creep across her face as she turned.

"I'll be sure to."

"You'd better." Haru moved several steps deeper into the black expanse, and as she did, a cloud of spirit particles amassed themselves at her back. Once they had stopped moving, they shifted in conjunction with her will, and she disappeared into the darkness, taking that eerie white gleam with her and leaving Grimmjow alone to contemplate it.

* * *

><p>Wow… some intense stuff building up. *devious grin* No, this is not my plan to keep anyone coming back for more, but it will lure readers into this Japanese lesson. ^_^<p>

Ohayo: Good morning

Gomen: Sorry

Demo: But

Arigato: Thanks

Sugoi: Amazing

Ohayogozaimasu: Formal version of good morning

Hai: Yes

Iie: No

Ano: Japanese equivalent of "um."

Betsuni: Nothing

Urusai: Shut up

Matte kudasai: Please wait

Matte: Wait

Nande: Why

Sumimasen: An apology of sorts

Nani: What

Nandesuka: What is it

Chotto matte: Wait a moment

Onegai: Please

Baka: Fool

Doushite: How

Kotatsu: Heated table type dealio. It looks toasty. I want one. XD

Chibi honou: Little flame, one of Grimmjow's nicknames for Haru.

Kuso: Japanese swear word. =)

Gomenasai: Formal apology

I hope this chapter was as enjoyable for you all as it was for me to write it. I know I had a lot of fun with the chess game, as I did with the one in KTT. Until next time, take care of yourselves, and once again, Happy Twenty-Twelve!


	6. Chapter 6: Revolution

A/N: Good news, everyone… I'm still alive, and the story will continue on, but not at a very quick pace, as this semester promises to be a very busy one between the thesis and the paper I'm trying to publish and the new bloggery (for class, no less) and (insert laundry list of tasks here). But it's all good… I'm really enjoying this final semester of graduate school and will continue to despite everything.

For the record, this is pretty much the chapter where I scream "EF THE CANON!" I've been gradually getting to that point, but this is seriously it. I am flying the bird at Tite Kubo's plot and mean it absolutely no disrespect. It's funny that when you insert a character into a world, that world completely changes… just an odd thought I had.

As always, heaps of gratitude to my readers, stalkers, etc., and a special thanks to my reviewers: Juliedoo, NAO-chan33, Almathia, ThorongilAnime, animegurl9871, animelover56348, lostfeather, and Inuhime89. Wow… seems like a lot, but it may just be the long pen names.

Now, on to the next installment. May it be as enjoyable as ever despite its obscene length!

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 6: Revolution<em>

Hinamori passed through every element of her morning routine perfunctorily. She ate breakfast at her usual pace, set her uniform in order, and prepared to restrain her hair. After that, she would endure the snow that awaited her outside the doorstep. Before she could begin, however, she was interrupted by a knock. She found Takumi standing outside her dwelling, peering towards the sky, but he stopped his scrutiny when he heard the door open. "Takumi…" Unconsciously, her face turned red, and the breath she expelled in saying his name rose on the air. He watched it solemnly, then dropped his gaze. "Takumi, what is it?" A sheepish look came over his face, and he rubbed the back of his head as he tried to gather some form of understandable words to present her with.

"About last night… I feel like I should apologize."

"Eh?"

"I… didn't really ask you if you wanted me to… to do what I did before I did it, so… I'm sorry." Hinamori studied him for a moment, then raised a hand to her mouth and laughed gently behind it. Seeing him so awkward amused her, and the puzzled way he was looking at her only served to exacerbate matters. "Na… nani…"

"Just you," she answered, smiling and pulling on his arm. "Would you mind stepping inside for a moment? I'm almost ready." Takumi followed her inside, relieved when the cold air disappeared. She handed him a cup of tea, which he thanked her for, and watched as she pulled her hair back. "Honestly…" Her voice trailed off, and she turned to peer at him, finding that he was transfixed with analyzing her movements. "What made you think I didn't want you to kiss me? If I hadn't, then I would have pushed you away."

"It seemed a little unfair," he answered, setting his cup down. "I mean… I thought you may have reconsidered after we were interrupted the first time."

"What made you think that?"

"I don't know, but usually, things like that happen for a reason." Hinamori peered at him critically, then dropped her gaze.

"Are you saying you regret it?"

"I'm saying that what we're doing may not be prudent." Hinamori finished securing her hair and turned to him, seeing that he was gazing shamefully at the floor. "I won't deny my feelings any more than I already have. It doesn't do any good. Still, do you honestly think it's for the best that we… that we continue on as we are?" He set his cup down at a table and collapsed, putting his head in his hands. "This is too strange. I don't know what to think anymore." For a few moments, he was the only one seated, but he soon felt Hinamori's weight beside him. She cupped his face in her hands and pushed his eye patch aside, then smoothed his hair away so that she had a clear view of his mismatched eyes. She smiled at him, mostly because his confusion was somehow childlike.

"It's alright to be unsure, especially in matters like this, but I have to ask… did you see something that made you so uncertain?" His eyes flickered, and he bowed his head, pressing his hands against hers before slowly nodding his head. "Is it something you can't tell me about?"

"Iie," he answered. "More or less, it's a matter of who I saw, not what I saw." When he peered up at her again, his eyes were alight with some inner fire. "I don't quite know how to explain it, but all I saw was the sun rising. Normally, that wouldn't trouble me, but it was so red… so very red…" Hinamori felt his hands quiver, and he bowed his head again. "When that red sun rises, I know I won't have a reason to be afraid anymore. Until then, I just… I'm just trying to figure out what it all means."

"Don't worry," she said confidently. "I know it's a big change, becoming a vice captain, and I know you're making a big change by letting yourself feel something for me, too. If you need to talk anything out, I'm here." She paused and leaned forward, gingerly pressing her lips against the scars on the left side of his face. "I can't promise everything will be alright, or that we'll feel this way forever, but I can promise that I'll always be your friend, if nothing else. We'll protect each other and those below us, and also… we'll protect taichou." He laughed slightly, but his smile soon faded.

"I can't imagine her ever being vulnerable."

"She's amazing, but even she has her moments," Hinamori reassured him. "Now, shall we go? We'll be late if we don't leave soon." The certainty in her voice was contagious, and despite his bewilderment, he managed a nod. She readjusted his eye patch, tying it carefully behind his head and allowing her fingers to brush against it once it was in place. Then, she combed his bangs aside and shook her head. "It's getting pretty long… are you ever going to cut it?"

"Probably not," he answered, grinning. "Why? Do you not like it?"

"Iie… I just think it would get in the way sometimes." Smiling, she extended a hand to help him up, one that he gratefully took and held on to longer than he should have. He followed her out, shutting the door behind him and traipsing after her. He staggered because of the snow, but he soon alighted beside her, peering at her from the corner of his eye on occasion, but otherwise keeping them fixed forward. "What are you thinking about?"

"You already know." He supplied the answer without fully understanding what the notion in Hinamori's mind was, so when he felt a palm press against his, he turned to her with wide eyes. "N… nani…"

"This isn't what you were thinking about?"

"N…not exactly," he stammered. Since he hadn't objected, Hinamori did not withdraw her hand but instead clutched his with enough pressure to provide him with a definite awareness of her palm resting against his own. He swallowed and stared at the ground, hoping that the cold was enough to hide his mortification.

"Yare, yare… you're so awkward. At least act like you enjoy it." He peered at her, then glanced hastily away again. "Hey, come on… don't be like that…"

"I… it's not you, not all of it, at least."

"You're still concerned about what you saw."

"The vision felt so heavy," he said at last, pressing a hand to his forehead. "I don't know what to think about it. There must have been something else I saw. Maybe I forgot it when I was waking up. I just know that I've had this sense of dread ever since." Hinamori tightened her grip, drawing his weary gaze to hers. Strangely enough, she was smiling.

"Were you worried about me?" He started, then looked away again, causing her to emit a slight laugh. "Arigato, Takumi. It's nice to know that you were thinking of me." Her words summoned a strong sense of relief, and he finally let himself smile. A gust of wind swept across the empty road, and he immediately shielded his forehead with his free arm, squinting against the snow that flew into his face. When it settled enough to increase his visibility, he caught sight of two figures walking on the road. Curious, he concentrated more on looking ahead, noting that Hinamori was now studying him. Wordlessly, he pointed to the two shadows pacing along the road. "Did you see them in your dream?"

"Something like them…" he answered. "I can't tell if that's them or not. It's different, though. I don't feel…" He paused, then stepped forward, shielding his eyes as another gust swept towards them. _I don't feel as threatened. Why, I wonder… _When the lengthy breeze finally died down, the fine white snow fell to the road in drifts. Hinamori lowered her arm from her face and blinked as her sight cleared and the figures became visible in detail.

"Kuchiki-taichou, Abarai-san!" she stammered, sounding relieved that they were not their enemies.

"Yo," Renji stated, waving as a grin of greeting washed over his face.

"What are you doing here? Aren't you normally just waking up now?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" he demanded.

"Well, considering you're almost always an hour late…"

"The hell I am!" he replied.

"Well, what do you call it then?" Hinamori inquired, smirking at the look that washed over his face. "You can't possibly be working."

"We're just giving things in this district a once over," Renji reassured them. "It's been pretty quiet the past couple of days, and Kuchiki-taichou figured we were due for something. I said I could do it myself, but he said he wanted to come."

"Really? That's pretty considerate…"

"Not at all," the captain stated in a flat tone. "I merely wanted to make sure that it was done correctly."

"Come on, taichou… my sight's not that bad…"

"Once you quit making errors on your paperwork, I may choose to believe you." Renji bent his head in shame for a moment, then quickly recovered. As he raised his eyes, he noticed that her hand was linked with Takumi's, and his helplessness melted instantly into an equally amused smirk.

"Ho… I see you two're getting along…"

"Eh?" she inquired, glancing downward. Startled, she tried to pull her hand free, but Takumi, oblivious to the attention being called to the situation, refused to let go. "Takumi… hey, Takumi!" Around that point, she realized his hand was trembling, and she paused in her struggle to try to examine his face. It didn't help that his left eye was facing her, so all she saw was his mouth, slightly parted but still relatively grim. Suddenly, his free hand was resting on his sword, and his right eye moved to her, burning with some kind of dark premonition. Glancing down at his hand, she realized that a series of black lines had wrapped its way around it. "Get a hold of yourself. What's the matter? Takumi…"

"A snare," he said in a low voice, fixing his eyes on the sky overhead, a sky that, until that point, had appeared empty, but it was now evident that a series of white shadows lined the roof, each more menacing than the last. "All four of us have somehow… walked into a snare." Renji had much the same reaction that Takumi did, and Hinamori, who finally convinced Takumi to release her hand, touched her own zanpakutoh, but no sooner had she done so that the fourth member of their group spoke in a tone full of proud authority.

"Let them be."

"Eh?" Renji stammered, whirling to his completely composed captain. The hand that, in his opinion, should have been wrapped around the senbonzakura, hung motionlessly at Byakuya's side. Despite the situation, he seemed to have no intention of fighting them. "Taichou, the hell is going on here?" Hinamori glanced to Takumi, who was currently scrutinizing Byakuya with his one visible eye, and likely his covered one as well. She noticed the deep lines wrapping around his neck, a jagged swirl that crept to his jaw bone and stopped. Frightened more by the prospect of seeing him demonized than of being killed by the hollow, she released her grasp on her own sword and seized his arm with a vigor that swayed him only slightly. His gaze did not waver, nor did the lines withdraw, and his expression was painted with the utmost fury. Afraid that he would do something rash, she tightened her grasp and peered at him, but he seemed content merely to stand. After all, he wasn't the only one who was furious. "Kuchiki-taichou!" Renji demanded.

"Be quiet, or you will make a fool of yourself."

"Hell, no!" Renji answered. "As your vice captain, I can't… I just can't stand for something like this! I can't stand to think that… that…" Not even daring to let himself say it, he clenched his fist and bowed his head.

"Kuchiki-taichou, hear me out," Takumi stated, stepping forward in spite of Hinamori's grasp. "I think I understand why, but… but this is no way to cope with things. If she were alive, then she… wouldn't want you to do something like this." Though his tone betrayed his composure, he refrained from rushing at the noble and giving him what he deserved for what Takumi deemed stupidity: a good punch in the face.

"What are you even talking about?" said a calm voice through the snow. His visible eye widened and shot immediately towards the source. One glance told him it was an espada, and not just any espada, but the espada whom he had seen while glimpsing at Haru's ordeal. A rush of sights invaded his mind, all in an instant: the gamble, the deceit, the ploy… and immediately, he fell to his knees as the searing pain raced across his left eye. "Nani? Does my presence have that much of an effect on you?"

"Bastard!" he shouted, trying to lunge forward but finding himself restrained by Hinamori.

"Such animosity… do you even know who I am?" Takumi quit shuddering at the question and breathed one sigh. His eye still hurt, but the pain was beginning to subside. He glanced to Hinamori, as if she would have an answer to his question, but she was more concerned for his wellbeing than anything. He touched his eye patch thoughtfully, then struggled to his feet, dusting the snow off of his hakama and throwing one blazing crystal blue eye to the espada. "As I thought. You, like every other inferior being, is clueless…"

"You are the octava espada, Szayel Aporro Grantz." Both Hinamori and Renji turned to him in surprise, but Byakuya retained his composure and simply continued biding his time. "I know damn well who you are."

"How insightful," the espada replied after some thought. "Yes, very insightful… and very interesting. Perhaps I shouldn't completely destroy your body after all." Takumi felt a low growl rise in his throat, but he swallowed it with difficulty. Still, Szayel detected his irritation and smirked as he added, "You would be a good specimen for my collection." He moved to rush forward, but Hinamori tightened her grasp and tried not to tremble, not from weakness, but from the fear of what he may do if she let him go. "Yare, yare… you're so temperamental. I don't understand anything you inferior beings feel one bit…"

"I'll show you inferior…" He pulled forward once again, gritting his teeth as he peered towards the line that had moved past his jaw line. He ignored the grasp of his comrade and let his desire to fight overtake him for an instant. His head reeled as he arrived at the border of composure and complete oblivion. Noting that his breaths had become ragged again, he pressed an unsteady hand to his left eye. How many times had he felt that way in the past, so close to losing control that one shift in the air could alter his state of mind? At the same time, he noted that the feeling was different, almost as if he was willing it to take over him. There was some distinct reason that he was holding back, but what could it have been? Death was no longer a concern of his. A gentle pressure drew his attention, and suddenly, he remembered.

"Yamete," Hinamori murmured, bowing her head. "Yamete kudasai…" He stared at her for a moment, trying to discern whether or not she was crying. Gradually, he sank to his knees and submitted himself, helplessly, to the consciousness around him, so full of trepidation and peril that he could hardly stand the thought. The torture his captain had endured at the hands of the espada before him was more than he could fathom, and because he had to keep living for her sake, he could do nothing but bow his head and endeavor to compose himself.

"You and your bonds… they only serve to hold you back in the long run."

"Enough," Byakuya said firmly. "You are here to conduct business with me, not this boy…"

"Taichou, nande?" Renji interrupted. With his usual air of regal quietude, Byakuya turned away and paced close enough to the espada to make his intentions clear but remained far enough away to escape death should it come racing towards him. "I can't accept this! Think of all the people you'll make suffer! Rukia, the sixth division, all the other captains…"

"They matter nothing," he answered. "In order for them not to suffer more, I must regain the one who started this absurd chain of thought in the first place." Takumi came to some sort of understanding, and having recovered himself, he managed to get to his feet despite Hinamori's insistence that he remain kneeling. She kept a hold on his arm in case he decided to bolt, but Takumi seemed only intent on staring at Byakuya. His visible eye held a magnitude of understanding that surpassed Renji's by far. For that reason, he almost let himself smile, but he refrained only because the nature of their situation seemed not to call for any jubilee.

"Kuchiki-taichou, permit me to speak. Please… hear me out." The regal captain completely ignored him, but he persisted anyway. "I know what you're thinking, and I know what you want to hope, but this isn't the way…"

"Urusai." The word cut Takumi and left an invisible wound on his conscience. Still, as he clenched his fist, he came to the conclusion that he had been silenced one too many times in the past. This time, at the very least, he would say what needed to be said.

"The only thing the espada can give you is a ghost. She's dead; just accept it. And if she weren't, she'd probably crack your skull open for doing what you are." Seeing that he wasn't going to do anything reckless, Hinamori released his arm as he stepped forward. "Kuchiki-taichou, she wouldn't want this…" Byakuya remained standing as he was despite the doubt that stirred in him at Takumi's words. There was still the option of backing out, but considering how far he had gone to arrange this meeting, he wasn't about to relinquish his standpoint, not when he was so close to affirming or disproving his hopes.

"What are your terms?"

"You can't be serious!" Renji shouted. "Taichou…"

"Your terms," Byakuya repeated, keeping his gaze fixed on Szayel. "Name them." Takumi detected instantly that the situation would not end well but resolved to protect what was precious to him despite whatever fate for him would emerge from his current circumstances. He straightened himself and stepped in front of her, allowing her to continue latching onto his arm as he continually shifted his eye about.

"Simple: your cooperation in exchange for the girl."

"Explain yourself," he stated. "I want no ambiguities; I will know precisely what I am exchanging for Haru-kun's safe return." Byakuya's eyes were critical, but the desperation in them was undeniable. At the moment, he was testing Szayel to see what his reaction would be, and from that, he would discern whether or not Haru was truly alive. So far, he reserved his hopes and doubts; he only showed the professional side of himself, which he normally would not have done with any hollow, let alone an espada. "Lay out your terms clearly, espada."

"Such antipathy…" Szayel returned. "No, I will never understand the capricious nature of you lower beings. Either you want her back or you don't… but you have already made that decision. Otherwise, you would be dead by now." His mouth curled into a thoughtful smile. "She really does want to come back, but I keep reminding her that for every action, there is a consequence. Scientists saw that years ago, but being what she is, I suppose she is blind to such facts." His gaze grew serious, and a line of thought dragged slowly through his mind. Once it had passed like a skiff on the dark waters of a river in the night, he forced his attention Szayel, but he still could not discern one ounce of veracity or duplicity from anything the espada had said or done. "What I want is simple. If I surrender her, then you will surrender unconditionally to us. Soul Society will bow to Aizen-sama. This will, of course, require a slight restructuring of your current leadership, but I think the price is fair, considering you obviously hold her dearer than Soul Society."

"And if I reject your terms?"

"Then we'll kill her." Byakuya let that statement sink in. If she were alive, then her safety hung in the balance. Still, he hadn't decided whether or not he had any reason to hope for such a thing yet. He decided to press the issue a little further.

"What did Haru-kun say of this?"

"What she thinks is irrelevant."

"Nonsense," Byakuya returned. "If Haru-kun does not support the price, then I cannot in good conscience pay it." Szayel paused for a moment before delivering his reply.

"When I brought the point up, she only begged to come back."

"Souka," Byakuya answered, letting his eyes fall shut. "Then I reject your terms with every ounce of my being." Takumi jerked up at that statement and gazed at the captain's back, bewildered.

"Do you think you are being noble, giving up something so dear to you for the sake of this place?"

"It is nothing like that," he retorted, his arms remaining motionless at his sides. "Your fabrication no longer sways my opinion, espada. I know you are lying because Haru-kun would never lower herself to begging someone like Aizen for anything. If she had doubts about leaving in the end, then she would not have left, and if she had any desire to return, then she would do so without an intermediary such as yourself. Besides, Haru-kun is dead."

"Dead?" Szayel echoed. "And who, pray tell, told you that?"

"The same boy who, moments ago, you called insightful." Szayel glanced to Takumi, who seemed ill at ease and preoccupied by one thing or another. His expression was grim, and as he peered back to Szayel, he seemed so fully aware of the outcome that had not even occurred and so utterly prepared to face it that he felt a touch of discomfort. There was no empirical line of reason to explain such accurate foresight… but Szayel's mind soon returned to an eased state because he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that it could only be one chance guess, nothing more. He saw a glimpse of understanding pass over the boy's face as he gazed at Byakuya and bowed his head, allowing a smile to creep over it.

_Souka, _he thought. _There is a snare within this snare, one laid by Byakuya to test this espada. Now that it has been sprung, I suppose it's almost time… _He pulled discretely on his sword and let its blade lacerate his thumb. Then, he waited.

"Did you assume I would cooperate completely since you had such a valuable bargaining chip?" Szayel peered to the regal captain, who slowly pulled his zanpakutoh free. "Absurd. She never would have stood for playing that role, neither in life nor death. For desecrating her memory, I cannot forgive you."

"You think you can turn my own trap around on me?" Szayel retorted, sounding bored in spite of the situation. A sadistic smile spread across his face, as if he were amused at the effort. For that reason, Byakuya hesitated. There was something that he wasn't certain of, some circumstance that could skew the advantage he had. "I predicted that you would react this way, and so… I took measures to make sure none of you would escape. Now, the question is, who shall I take care of first?" Renji pulled his sword free and was about to charge, but something restrained him, a feeling that his time for action had not yet come. Hinamori kept her hand wrapped around Takumi's forearm and peered about, wondering why he had suddenly become so placid. Szayel's gaze chilled her to the bone, but her expression remained determined.

"Momo-san," Takumi said, turning to her with an unsettlingly calm smile. "Don't be afraid. Night doesn't last forever. The sun will rise to cut through this darkness." He rested a hand on her shoulder with complete composure. His fingers tightened around it momentarily, as if to say everything that he no longer had time to. Then, with a surprising amount of force, he shoved her backwards. She staggered and fell into the snow, shielding her eyes against the wind that had sprung out of nowhere. Though her vision was hindered, it was not entirely impaired, and through it, she caught sight of something that made her eyes widen in terror. Where she had stood moments before was another hollow, an espada from the looks of things, with a huge weapon that would have bit into her had Takumi not acted. Her gaze remained fixed on him as he fell backwards, still looking at peace despite the amount of blood currently pouring from the wound that ran from his chest to his temple, broken only by the space between his neck and jaw line. The covering for his eye, no longer useful, drifted forlornly through the air and settled beside its wearer, now in a completely motionless heap on the pavement. The road had been revealed when his body had been thrown across it, and the surrounding snow was quickly turning red. She tried to make words, but her lips only quivered and refused to cooperate. The only other part of her moving were the tears, which slid slowly from her eyes and down her face. She couldn't take her eyes off of him, and the longer she gazed, the more agonized she became. The scream caught in her throat and came out as only a gasp as her shaking hands pressed against her ears and willed the sight into something that wasn't real.

"I guess the order doesn't matter after all, though I would have liked to save him for last." Hinamori's head snapped to the source of the voice, finding that the first espada was smiling in an amused way. "Despite being an inferior being, I found him most interesting…"

"You bastard!" Renji shouted, pulling his sword free, but even he knew it was too late to do anything. The other espada had already started moving in for the finishing blow. Some sort of reiatsu shifted through the air, signaling the release of a zanpakutoh, and as the giant eight-shaped weapon rose above Takumi's motionless form, a voice cut through Hinamori's deafness and caused her to move.

"Hoshoutate!" Something bit into the pavement and summoned six discs of light, along which raced connecting lines that sprang up into twelve trapezoidal planes. When the weapon collided with it, the attacker was thrown backwards, sliding against the road with a disconcerting growl. The light soon subsided, leaving behind only a vague impression of any barrier being there. In the midst of it was the teal hilt of a zanpakutoh with twin blades that shared a guard, and holding that zanpakutoh was Hajime, who had one protective arm around his fallen comrade's shoulders. He sighed and bowed his head momentarily, then lifted it to study his opponent. "So, this is the quinta espada…"

"How the hell do you know that?" he demanded. Hajime studied him momentarily, eyes gleaming with contempt, and then bowed his head.

"Maybe I only knew because Takumi told me." How could he have forgotten the frantic visit mere hours after he had acquired the journal of Tozakawa Misuzu, and in the middle of the night, no less? At the time, he hadn't understood, nor had he asked for an explanation. He had simply let Takumi in and had given him a cup of tea while a perpetual stream of expletives came out of his mouth.

"Fine, fine… I get it. You think you messed up, but why in heaven's name would you think that? Honestly, feelings like those are a blessing, not a curse."

"Hajime, unless I do something, that girl is going to die."

"Hmm?" he asked calmly, opening his right eye and peering at Takumi, who bowed his head and turned his cup.

"I… I saw it so vividly… the blade, the blood in the snow, her cold corpse… and right now, not much of it makes sense, but tomorrow…" He paused, and his shoulders fell into a slump. "Tomorrow…" Hajime closed his reading and leaned towards his friend, noting just how the light played on the surface of the tea. It betrayed Takumi's steadiness; in truth, he was terrified. "I have to do something."

"Takumi, when you told me everything about that power, you said that you could never do anything to change whatever you saw."

"I know," he answered. "Still… I have to try. If I could somehow do it…" An unsettling look passed between them across the table, and in that moment between dusk and dawn, he discerned just what Takumi intended to do.

"You reckless idiot. If you interfere, then what will Mari do?"

"She'll be alright." Takumi set his cup down and leaned back, examining the shadows playing on the ceiling. "I know she will. She's a strong person, just like Momo-san is, but I… I never really have been. I don't know what I'm feeling, and I don't know if it will get stronger. One thing's for sure: I don't want those feelings to end." Takumi pressed a hand against his left eye. The vivid blue of his visible optic cut through the darkness. Seeing such fear from his companion made Hajime smile and touch his shoulder reassuringly. "Listen, Hajime. I'm going to tell you everything that will happen tomorrow. Some of it, I can say clearly, but other portions I will have to veil."

"Is there a reason you're doing this?" he inquired.

"Hai," Takumi answered, "but you aren't going to like it." A dark stillness fell between them as Takumi folded his hands and leaned forward on them. "What you do with this information is entirely up to you. I only have but one request…"

Hajime snapped back to the present and threw his eyes to the espada, who swung his blade against the barrier again. For a second time, it repelled him, and though Hajime swayed, he remained sitting upright. "Give it up. You're fading fast."

"Maybe," he answered, "but I agreed to something, and I won't relinquish anything until I've fulfilled it." His eyes blazed as the weapon crashed against the barrier a third time, this time leaving a hairline fracture along its outer wall. _I swore, _Hajime reminded himself, peering down at the listless eye of his friend. His right eye was shielded by several locks of hair, and he could see from one glance at his body that the black lines were continuing to spread. _I swore that I would buy you time until the sun rose, but considering dawn has long since passed, I can't very well think that part of your prophecy was literal. But if you didn't mean the literal dawn, then what did you mean… when you told me not to be afraid because the sun would soon rise? _Hajime's thoughts scattered as he perceived another strike against his barrier, this one strong enough to make the entire structure tremble. A web of cracks spread from the point of impact even as Nnoitora was thrown backwards.

"Yare, yare…" Szayel stated. "You inferior beings and your impulsive sentiments… I'll never understand them."

"What is there to understand?" Hajime inquired, raising his eyes. "Those with the ability to do so protect those around them, and those protected people protect those around them. Think of it as a web, with each intersection between two threads representing a juncture where two people protect each other." The barrier audibly cracked when Nnoitora's weapon fell against it this time, but he continued focusing on Szayel. "In this way, we are all connected. The strong protect those with less power, a factor entirely independent of rank. The nature of power is that it is continually shifting. In one moment, strength can become weakness, and when that happens, someone else picks up the responsibility of protecting someone who moments before was just protecting them. By calling this structure weak, you misinterpret it entirely. It is that structure that makes us strong. It is that structure from which we derive power. This is what the Gotei 13 truly is."

"It sounds like a bunch of unscientific nonsense." Hajime visibly shuttered when the blade came against his barrier again. Then, he reeled and hunched over. "Looks like there will be no turn of chance in your favor." He managed to raise his eye to Szayel despite his sorry state and tightened his grasp on his sword. Then, just as quickly, he whirled to Nnoitora, whose blade was already hovering above the fissure.

_Kuso, _he thought. _One more strike, and this barrier will fall. Iie… I can't let it. Somehow, it has to hold… _He peered down to his companion, noted the faint haze of medicinal kidou pouring from the hand against his wound, and let his brows fall together in determination. _Whether there is a set fate or not… is something I've never really thought about, but if there is, and if it's against me, then just this once, I have to break free of it. Onegai… _He shut his eyes and tried to calm his mind. _Onegai, __Shouhekitsuru… hold out. _The waiting game began again. He wondered if the barrier would hold, and if it didn't, he wondered if he would survive. The only doubts he possessed were for himself; he had faith in his sword, and in every other external factor affecting the situation. Thoughts of safety drifted through his mind despite the prickle of anxiety racing across his skin. He shut out everything but the sound of his enemy's weapon descending, counting the number of heartbeats that passed until it collided with his barrier. He expected his being to be jarred when it did since that was usually the drawback of that particular barrier. He completely overlooked the change in the atmosphere until the moment metal struck metal, at which point the whole world seemed to hold its breath. Only then did he open his eyes, and even then only halfway because he thought it may have been his imagination.

Hajime stopped breathing when he saw the distinct kanji etched on the back of a white haori. He peered up at it, trying to process exactly how it could have been possible. There was a sword in her hand, still raised from cutting through the air and sparing his barrier the blow. He blinked, then gazed at it again, his eyes hazing over with doubt and confusion. A light chuckle from the incapacitated Takumi drew his attention, and he looked down at his friend's distant eyes. "The sun…" he murmured with difficult. "The sun… has… risen." Writing his statement off as delusional, Hajime rested Takumi's head on his knee and grasped the sword with his other hand, letting his head fall into a bow.

"Ya… Yamashita-taichou…"

"Take it easy," she stated, "and keep him alive if you can. He just became my vice captain. I can't afford to lose him now." She parted her feet and lowered her sword, ignoring everything around her but the expression on Nnoitora's face. She allowed herself to glance to Szayel, who seemed to be in an equal state of surprise. A smile grazed her features momentarily as her sword arced through the air. She rested the blade against her shoulder, calmly studying the scientist who had no doubt predicted that she wouldn't come because she was dead. By then, Nnoitora had recovered from his shock, and he bolted forward again. With a scoff, Haru moved her blade and took several steps forward, blocking his strike and throwing him back a second time. Her gaze only fortified the appearance of composure; it spoke of a blatant, nonverbal commitment to her position. She wouldn't budge, nor would she utilize the luxury of hesitating; there was too much to lose if she did.

When Nnoitora's mouth curled into a smile, Haru let her brows fall together in contemplation. He seemed amused, almost as if he was certain that his own efforts would destroy her. He bolted forward again, and Haru blocked the preceding strikes without relinquishing any ground. She pushed him back again and swayed slightly, pressing a hand to her forehead as it reeled. A few suppositions surfaced in her mind, possible explanations for her state. It could have been the fact that her reiatsu was now raised to fifty percent. She had become too used to functioning with the limiter on her power. Then again, there was an equal possibility that her sudden lightheadedness was some adverse effect from traveling via garganta, or of reaching for ignis solus. Whatever the case, she didn't realize she was being attacked until a shadow passed before her eyes. She raised her sword and thereby evaded being cut, but she was thrown backwards with enough force to slam her against Hajime's barrier. A shrill cry peeled past her lips, and because her mind was entirely blank, she began falling forward.

_Iie… _she thought, perceiving that Nnoitora had already come forward to finish her off. _Now that I know what I am, I cannot let myself fall… _She rammed Suzaku's tip into the ground and hooked her finger around the square opening at the top of her Seele, twisting it around and materializing the blade before swinging upward with no trace of hesitation. Nnoitora retreated before he finished the blow, and Haru slumped to one knee, gasping for breath at the burning sensation racing across her flesh.

"I told ya before, that blade can't cut me."

"Then why did you dodge?" Haru peered up and saw the laceration appear across his chest. A satisfied smile crossed her face as a drop of blood descended onto the snow. She drew a determined breath and forced herself to her feet, pulling her zanpakutoh out of the ground and swinging it matter-of-factly. She only hunched forward for a moment before raising her eyes again. A white flame of odium and determination danced across them. A gust of wind swept across the ground, lifting some snow and obscuring her, but when it cleared she remained as she was, with her weapons lowered but obviously ready. Hajime couldn't help but admire her tenacity, especially since his barrier was at its threshold for abuse. He struggled to maintain consciousness until he could drop his attack. Then, he would let himself rest. As he glanced to Takumi, he saw a faint smirk on his companion's face, but his eyes were still clouded with oblivion.

"The sun…" he whispered again, from the deep confines of his delirium. "The sun has risen." Startled, he glanced to Haru, whose shoulders were rigid like a soldier who was marching to battle and who, come what may, would continue fighting until her body gave out. Suddenly, his words made a little more sense, and he bowed his head, more to concentrate than for any other reason. She expelled a breath and raised her zanpakutoh, pushing one foot behind her as she waited, taking the opportunity to glance at her third seat, whose face was still streaked with tears, to Renji, who was entirely dumbfounded, and to Byakuya, who didn't even seem to believe she was there.

"Impossible," Szayel stated as her eyes pierced him. "It is statistically impossible for your powers to grow that much in so short a time, unless…" Something told her she didn't want to hear the answer. Her eyes drifted forward to counter Nnoitora's weapon, which she blocked with ease before sweeping her blade through the air. This time, when she threw him back, she followed, but he was ready for her offensive move and countered. Haru predicted his next move and moved in the exact direction of his sword, knowing full well that he was now more focused on killing her than on anything else. She put herself in a tunnel-vision sort of mind where she was only aware of her opponent before blocking his weapon with her Seele while simultaneously attempting to cut him with her zanpakutoh. He moved aside and made another attempt at taking her head, but she dodged the rapid succession of blows without taking her eyes off of him.

"Stand still!" he finally shouted in frustration, casting a particularly powerful blow in her direction, but Haru flashed away, leaving his vision temporarily clouded with snow. When he thought he saw her shadow, he sliced into nothing but air, and a moment later, he detected movement from his other side. He changed directions, clearing his sight with his reiatsu and watching as Haru hovered momentarily over his blade, having moved to jump over it, but she seemed to have other plans. At the very moment it appeared under her, she rammed her foot against it and vaulted towards him, making an upward cut with her zanpakutoh that swept across his arm. Desperate to be free of her close proximity, he twisted the blade, causing Haru to lose her balance and land amidst the snow. He cut down again, but she avoided the blow by rocking her weight back on her shoulders and pushing off the ground with her hands. She landed on her feet moments later, holding both of her weapons at the ready.

Her heart lurched as she noted that one of the hollow had descended and was currently targeting the barrier, but before she could move, it had been obliterated by a blast of kidou. Bewildered, she let her eyes fall on Hinamori, who had released her zanpakutoh and made eye contact with her captain. "We'll manage here, Yamashita-taichou. Do what you need to."

"Hai," she answered, stepping out of Nnoitora's reach. Though he currently occupied most of her attention, she could probably do something to lighten their burden. Haru stepped left, weaved right, and finally countered before flashing out of sight to the roof above. When she landed, she took three hollow down in one sweep, and the remaining ones immediately engaged in trying to kill her. For every one that attacked her, she took two down until Nnoitora joined her, at which point she leapt out of his reach and landed in a crouch, sliding across the snow and coming dangerously close to the edge. Within her, she heard a distinct murmur, one that reminded her of her captivity in Hueco Mundo while at the same time distinguishing itself from the mantra Suzaku had always utilized there to instill her with some patience.

_Our time has finally come. _

_It certainly seems that way, _she answered, rising to her feet as she studied the regrouping hollow. Haru breathed a sigh to still her reiatsu before turning her sword to study the reflection of her eyes in it. _They've become so hollow… so driven by action more than thought…_

_Such is the nature of the fight to protect._

_To protect… _Haru let the word echo through her consciousness before her brows fell together in determination. _As long as I have that, then I will not lose myself to any power, not even my own. _Her misty breath rose on the air as she twisted her zanpakutoh so that its point was facing the sky and dropping the arm that held her Seele so it was currently her only weapon. "Saidou joushou," she said in a low tone before dropping the arm that held her sword and charging the hollow that were coming after her. "Suzaku." A distinct shift in her reiatsu occurred, and as the guard materialized, the ribbon hanging from the metal square turned crimson. Nnoitora didn't even have a chance to move as she flashed by. He only attempted to cut her when he detected that she was quite near. Because he missed, he pursued her, staggering as a series of lacerations appeared in the snow. She stopped at the edge of the building and whirled to him, causing him to hesitate because the nature of her expression. Despite the fact that her odds of doing anything at the moment were utterly abysmal, she was smiling. Then, his brain processed the opportunity to actually cut her, and he charged again. With complete placidity, she whirled and leapt into the air, pressing one blade against the other as she came to the apex of her climb.

"Dai ni keitei," she murmured, sliding her Seele along her zanpakutoh as if they were flint. "Kagehi." Behind her erupted an electric blue flame that consumed the dumbstruck hollow with enough force to skew her balance. She struck the roof at an odd angle and rolled towards the edge, but just as she went over it, she drove her Seele into the side of the building and let herself hang there for a moment, peering at the destruction she had left in her wake. _Did I… get him? Iie… I still feel his reiatsu. _Her eyes then wandered to the ground below, where she found that Byakuya's interest in her had suddenly increased.

"Su… sugoi…" Hajime stammered, studying the flames with a scholarly interest. "Such power…" From where she was, she couldn't hear the compliment, nor could she care less about it. With difficulty, she twisted herself and after several unsuccessful attempts managed to pull herself back onto the roof. She found rather quickly that she had taken too much time and was now surrounded, but as she prepared to attack them, their blood fell onto the snow before she could even ready her own weapons. Startled, she whirled towards the ground again to find that an unkillable trace of spring had wiped them out. The air was suddenly filled with pink snow, some of it drifting so close to her that Haru almost questioned its target. Their eyes locked momentarily, and in that moment, they tacitly acknowledged one another with a nod.

The distraction almost proved costly. Fortunately, Haru raised her zanpakutoh to block the cero that had been fired at her. _Byakuya-sama, _she thought, finding her view of him impeded by the gleaming energy that snaked around her, split by the mere presence of her sword. _I promise to explain everything when this is over. Until then, I hope you know my gratitude at the very least. _Once her feet started sliding, Suzaku arced through the air and released her initial form, which scattered the remnants of the cero and clouded her vision with snow. She disappeared into the cloud and found her opponent's weapon. The resulting flux in their reiatsu caused visibility to return to its normal level. "Tell me something." Nnoitora pushed her away, but Haru acted quickly and wound up pinning his blade to the roof with her own weight and with the touch of her own sword. "You attacked me all the time like this in Hueco Mundo. Obviously, Szayel-san wanted data on me, but that couldn't have been your only reason."

"Hell, no… I don't give a rat's ass about data."

"Then why did you agree to it?" Nnoitora scoffed and pulled his weapon back with a suddenness that made her stumble.

"That's easy. 'Cause I got to kill you when he was done!" She rolled aside as his attack came down on her, driving her Seele into the roof of the building to stop herself, but by then, he was already in pursuit. By using her own weapon as a pivot point, she was capable of blocking his blow, but considering her precarious balance, it became quite obvious to her that he was in control of the situation. He took one hand on his weapon and pulled back, but his intention was easy to read. She yanked her blade out of the rooftop and vaulted backwards, hooking her Seele around her thumb and allowing it hang as she raised her hand and took careful aim.

"Soukatsui." He dodged the blast and disappeared from sight, leaving Haru to skid to a stop just before tumbling off of the edge. Her eyes rose just in time to see that he poised to attack her again, and ignoring any consequence the fall may have had on her ability to rationalize, she instinctively leaned back as the sword cut the air in front of her. Suddenly, the world had no direction, and she wasn't quite aware of which way was up or down. Flustered, she drove the point of her sword into the side of the building, and her feet immediately pointed towards the ground. A rush of pain permeated her shoulder, but she ignored it because it was to be expected. After pulling her blade out of the building, she landed in a crouch, flashing out of sight as Nnoitora brought his own weapon down on what would have been the same shoulder now feeling the effects of her descent. "You think you can kill me?" Nnoitora glared at her, but she seemed entirely unfazed by his obvious frustration. "You think I would let you after coming this far?"

"I don't need yer damn permission!" he shouted, charging again. Haru sighed and contented herself with moving around his attacks until her shoulder began to feel better. "It ain't yer decision whether ya live or die. The strongest always wins the fight, and I'm definitely the strongest! Besides, yer afraid to die. Otherwise, ya wouldn't be dodgin'!" Haru raised Suzaku and stopped his movement without putting an ounce of force into the blade, which rested between the top and bottom arcs of Nnoitora's gargantuan weapon.

"Look who's talking," she said calmly. "You dodged Suzaku earlier because it would cut you. Just now, you dodged my kidou because it would cause you pain. I haven't even gotten serious yet, and you'd better pray you don't get me to that point." Haru threw her eyes to the deserted street to her left and heaved a sigh. "Otherwise, I really may wind up killing you." Something about her manner of speaking either enraged or frightened him. The next thing she knew, she had been thrown against the wall by either his fist or his foot. She wasn't sure which, but the force Nnoitora utilized in doing so was more than enough to drive her to the brink of consciousness before the sensation of pain even permeated her shock. Immediately, she slumped to the ground relinquishing her grip on her quincy weapon and coughing into her hand. Helpless to stop herself, she could only watch as the snow beneath it began to turn red.

"Then get serious." Haru dropped her hand to the snow and gasped for breath for a few moments, trying vainly to collect herself. Although the pain in her back overshadowed nearly everything else, she was acutely aware of some ache in her side where Ulquiorra had stabbed her.

_I knew I forgot something, _she told herself, spitting the rest of the blood into the snow and wiping her mouth. Haru's eyes locked on his again, completely devoid of fear, and that only served to frustrate him further.

"Give me every bit of strength ya got. It won't be enough."

"You are not worthy of seeing me at one-hundred percent. Content yourself with my shikai at fifty, Nnoitora-san." His brow quavered in anger as the entirely confident smile overcame her face. The fact that she actually thought she could beat him in her current position was in and of itself unfathomable, yet there she was, sitting in the snow with a smear of blood near the corner of her mouth and only holding on to one of her weapons, smiling.

"I don't care what ya are. I'll kill ya regardless." Haru inhaled and slammed her zanpakutoh into the ground, wrapping a hand around her Seele as she stood and wiped her mouth again.

"Stop wasting my time," she said, "fighting the way you are. Release your resurreccíon, so that I can kill you and be done with it." Nnoitora's brow arched again, not because of the words themselves, but because they were delivered with absolutely no fear, and with that same resolute smile, as if she had finally come to the conclusion that killing him was the only way to conclude the situation. He tried for a moment to analyze what she was planning, but having no knowledge of his released state, how could she have planned anything?

"Killin' you'll be the most satisfyin' thing I've ever done." Nnoitora grinned sadistically as he envisioned her bloody corpse in pieces. "I'll cut ya into so many pieces that not even yer own parents'd recognize you." He raised his weapon to the air, and, as Haru expected, his immense reiatsu began to climb. Though she wasn't afraid of him, Haru did fear the unknown a bit, not to mention she had never faced a resurreccíon before. Still, she didn't let her confidence waver, not even when he uttered a word that broke through her thoughts and drew her back to the battle at hand. "Inore, Santa Teresa!" The reiatsu exploded and made her stagger against the wall behind her. She tried to peer through its intensity but found doing so impossible. Even so, her mind continued working, and as she stumbled over the same conclusion again, she smiled and bowed her head. Today, before the end of things, Haru knew that, for the first time since her father died, the lone flame would burn.

* * *

><p><em>I can feel it… I can hear it… the battle going on around me… it… it's calling for me… <em>Takumi's eyes flickered open, but instead of finding himself with Hajime in the midst of Seireitei, he found that he lingered in the midst of his consciousness. His arms were wrapped around his knees, and his face had been buried in them. He raised his eyes with a start, finding that Akumashoku's avatar was peering at him with his mismatched eyes. Immediately, he crawled over to the edge of the pillar and stared at the water below, which was just barely flickering. He sat up slowly, grimly, and peered to his zanpakutoh, who sat beside him and flicked his tail.

"Are you going to die?" he asked.

"Nani?"

"That eye of yours is not designed to change fate. Not only have you broken the rules that govern it, but you have also sustained a rather serious injury." Takumi bowed his head and peered at the lake again. His crimson eye seemed to collect all of the light and gleam with some hidden power in the darkness. "Your interference has changed fate. Has it decided to take you instead, or is your vision not clear?"

"I can't die, not even if it was fate." He leaned back and studied the faint reflection of the water on the rock dome above his head. "Even though I'm here, I can feel so much turmoil around me: the hollow, Hajime's barrier wavering between weakness and obliteration, his reiatsu draining, Momo-san and Renji, fighting for their lives just to keep me safe, and even Byakuya." He pressed a hand to his heart. "The sun… for some reason, even though I know it isn't shining, I feel it, too." Akumashoku leaned over and peered at the water. "I can't stay here. I have to help them."

"Takumi…"

"Don't try to stop me," he answered as he rose to his feet. When he clenched his fist, it visibly trembled, and his zanpakutoh, finding such a gesture pitiable, bowed his head. "I'd like to think we're in this together, but even if we aren't, I have to fight."

"Nande?"

"Because I want to protect this world with everything I am, even if it despises me." Takumi peered at his zanpakutoh with his red eye. Though the glimmer in it was stirring with anxiety, he still seemed willing to fight alone. It was a side that Akumashoku had never expected of his wielder, at least not before.

"So, your desire is to protect?"

"That's what I said."

"Even if it kills you?"

"What kind of a question is that?"

"An entirely rhetorical one," the demon responded, rising to its feet and striding forward. "If that is what you desire, then I will protect you, and I will be your means to protect."

"How can I fight when I'm as injured as I am? I don't even think I can heal it."

"That's why you have me." The demon's tails curled through the air as the lines on his body began to glow. "The power you need to protect isn't something you haven't already gained. You have it in your possession now." The demon's eyes glimmered as it stared at Takumi. "I remembered something because of you, something I'd long forgotten."

"What's that?"

"I wasn't born a scythe." Takumi drew a sharp breath. "At the beginning, I was something else. I can show you if you want. I can break free of this false form."

"How?" he stammered. "Is that even possible?"

"Is defying fate possible?" it demanded. "Face it: the form I have now isn't exactly practical. It doesn't allow you to fulfill your true potential. I think my original form would suit you better. I'll still be the same here, but the weapon you wield will be a little different… more manageable for someone of your build and skill set."

"Demo…"

"Don't object. I'm with you when you fight, remember? I can tell that, though you will adjust over time to what you have now, it would be more efficient to revert to that form I once held." The demon paused and studied its wielder. "Do you doubt me, Takumi?" He took a few moments to process the information before replying.

"How could I? You know me better than anyone, Akumashoku." Takumi pressed a hand against his left eye and smiled. In that moment more than any other, they seemed to share an intense understanding of their plight. He raised his hand in farewell. "I'll see you on the other side, Akumashoku," he added, and disappeared over the edge of the pillar.

* * *

><p>It wasn't as though fighting the hollow was difficult for one vice captain, one ex-vice captain, and one of the strongest captains in Soul Society. The trouble was, there were simply too many of them, and they all seemed rather insistent on escaping by a hair. Byakuya was currently occupied with subduing Szayel, so Hinamori and Renji took their stances near the barrier and fought off the endless hollow to the best of their abilities. Unfortunately, their best wasn't quite good enough, and for that reason, Hajime found himself in the predicament he foresaw when he initiated the barrier in the first place: after managing to keep his barrier standing after several additional blows, he was hunched over, holding onto his sword with both hands while supporting Takumi's head on his knee, drawing breaths as if he were drowning in the icy air.<p>

"Oi, ya gonna live?" Renji asked.

"I… I'll manage." Hajime bowed his head as it whirled violently and peered down at his companion, who was placidly unaware of everything happening around him. His breathing had slowed to normal, and the wound had almost stopped bleeding. Still, it was only a temporary fix, a surface healing intended to buy time. How he could do something like that when he was unconscious was entirely beyond Hajime, but he knew that his companion was capable of some pretty remarkable things considering his background. _You're the kind of person who never wanted to be on the front lines; you always wanted to save lives, not take them. Still, you were so ridiculously good at combat of every form, and even if kidou gave you trouble in the beginning, you took the pains to practice until you could list them all by heart and until you could control it. You always said that, as much as you wanted to focus on using kidou to heal, fate had other plans for you. Is this what you meant? Did you mean you would die on a battlefield? _For some reason, the thought infuriated him. He felt so helpless that he nearly cursed his power, but he couldn't loathe it entirely. He knew it wasn't his zanpakutoh's fault that it specialized in barriers any more than it was his own. It was simply the nature of things; he was sure that Takumi would say something along those lines.

At the sound of a crack, Hajime looked up to find that one of the hollow's swords had actually pierced the barrier and was only a handful of inches from piercing his skull, but at the last moment, a hand crossed his sight and grabbed the point, causing him to release the breath of anticipation he had been holding. Still, his head reeled at the sight of his friend sitting up, the lines that had moments before been black glowing with a pearly iridescence. "Takumi… what's happening? Oi, Takumi!" Afraid that his friend had been consumed by the demon, he reached out a hand and tried to touch his shoulder, but it was gently deterred by his friend's reiatsu, the analysis of which proved that he was still very much the authority of his own actions. He wrapped his other hand around his zanpakutoh and thrust it forward, effectively killing the hollow and scattering the remnants of the barrier, causing both Hinamori and Renji to pause in their perpetual task.

"The hell is happening to him?"

"I don't know," Hinamori murmured, anxious but for some reason unafraid. Gradually, the glow of the lines, the same glow that surrounded his zanpakutoh, subsided. Only one remained, the one stretching up his neck, zig-zagging once, and then sweeping directly across his left eye, which was concealed by his hair at the moment. His grip tightened as he perceived another hollow nearing, and he cut through it with expert precision. Once it fell, he paused and peered at his weapon, running his eyes along the silvery handle. In place of the usual scythe, however, was the double-sided tip of a lance that extended four inches from the handle. Two protrusions emerged at the point where the tip met the rest of his weapon, one of which was pierced by two rings that gently struck against one another whenever he moved it. Curious, he tapped it against the ground and shut his eyes.

"What a nice sound," he murmured. "Almost like wind chimes." He lifted it and spun it thoughtfully, engrossed in analyzing its weight and balance. Then, recalling that he was standing in the middle of a battlefield, he slammed it against the ground again. "Go ahead and attack me already. You won't cut me."

"Idiot!" Hajime shouted. "You can't fight the way you are! It's suicide!" With a dangerous sluggishness, Takumi turned to his friend and peered down at him, then offered him a hand up.

"I used my eye so I could change the course of things. I'm not sure what will happen to me after this, so for now, at least let me be certain that I did something to protect this place." Immediately, his friend looked down, grimacing at that dark thought. "If I live, I live, and if I die, I die. Time won't stop moving just because of me. Those in power must protect those around them, and they in turn must protect those around them until they can no longer protect themselves. Then, they must be protected until they can protect again. That's just the way Soul Society works." Hajime's troubled eyes fixed on his, and with great hesitation, he seized his companion's hand. As soon as he was on his feet, Takumi touched his shoulder and gave him a reassuring smile.

"Takumi!" Hinamori mainly shouted to alert him of the hollow coming towards him, and though he raised his head, he didn't even turn before he had cut through it, along with the ones that charged one right after the other. Puzzled and transfixed by the scene, she watched his movements and tried vainly to read their meaning, but the only meaning she derived was a perpetual stream of fallen hollow. He seemed oblivious of the blood on his face, of the blood on his weapon, of everything going on around him but the hasty movement of his zanpakutoh, which jingled arhythmically each time he cut one down.

"Watch him later," Renji stated, cutting down one of the hollow that had turned on them. "Right now, we gotta focus, too, though with the frame of mind he's in, I doubt we can do it half as well as he can."

* * *

><p>Nnoitora's reiatsu was so intense that it nearly crushed the air out of her lungs. Add that to the fact that the number of his weapons had now increased by three, his speed had nearly doubled, and his wounds instantaneously healed, and Haru found herself locked in a duel with an opponent she couldn't quite manage to deal with. She had tried to keep track of the number of times she had blocked but had long since lost count. Her muscles told her that numbers were currently irrelevant, that she only knew how much her arms ached from taking the hits. She stepped out of the way of one, ducked the second, evaded the third, blocked the fourth, and saw another opportunity to inflict some damage. She made an upward cut with her Seele, but the wound instantly healed. She was forced to block the following blow, dropping to one knee under its force. As another descended, Haru adjusted her hold and threw herself out of the way. She flashed onto one of the surrounding buildings, but Nnoitora was already there. By some miracle, she evaded his weapons and cut through the air with her zanpakutoh as she withdrew. "Omote han: seishinhi."<p>

He cut through the stream of golden flames and sought him. What she really needed was a moment to think. To achieve that, she turned entirely on him and leapt into the air, landing with a slight stagger on the roof nearby and bolting across it, knowing full well that he would follow her. _Kuso, _she thought, dodging the scythe-like blade by throwing herself aside. The roof she was on happened to be angled. She used its velocity to her advantage and raced to its edge, whereupon she leapt into the air again. _I knew he would be strong, but I never expected this. Why does he remind me of someone? _She perceived her feet touch the roof and took off at a dead run. _One thing is certain; I cannot continue any further at my current level. _Nnoitora appeared in front of her quite suddenly. Startled, she leaned back and slid forward, ducking all the blows and passing through the gap between his feet before shifting her weight and propelling herself away from him. When her other foot struck the snow, she whirled to meet him, blocking the blow that was meant to sever the flesh of her back. Haru then fell into a methodical and quite precarious rhythm in which she dodged his attacks by a minimal distance.

"The hell're you still holdin' back for? Use yer damn bankai!"

"Iie," she answered, stepping aside one of his attacks and flashing to a safe distance. "The truth of the matter is, the more I see your power, the more I believe my shikai is better suited to dealing with it." Infuriated, Nnoitora raced towards her again, bringing all four of his weapons down at once. She evaded them all and let a brief wave of relief overcome her, but then, she felt the distinct sensation of a weapon biting into her flesh. Her eyes flew open in shock as the force of the blow threw her off the roof. _There… were four, weren't there? _The thought drifted through her head as the world around her vanished and she waited, with closed eyes, to hit the ground, or else to be rendered in two, but no finishing blow came, and no ground came up to meet her. Instead, the sound of rain striking water penetrated her deafness, and as she opened her eyes, she found herself standing in the midst of an endless lake, one that was continually struck with rain. The clouds overhead were dark, and the water beneath her feet seemed unusually vivid considering that fact. Its surface was covered with lotuses that had taken root but had not yet bloomed, and in the midst of this garden landscape rested a tree. Suzaku occupied one of the branches, sitting with her wings folded and her head bowed so she could properly see her wielder. There was one noticeable difference in her construction, however. Across the crimson feathers of Suzaku's breast, a distinct white cross cut through the bright plumage.

Zanpakutoh and shinigami studied each other at a distance for a few moments before both moved forward. "Suzaku…"

"Haru-sama."

"Why have you brought me here?"

"Because you need my assistance," Suzaku answered. "It is obvious to me that, despite your best intentions, you have… how does that saying go? You have bit off more than you can chew. So, I brought you here. It will give you the time you need to think, and also…" She stopped speaking as she alighted on Haru's outstretched hand. "You have not had the chance to see it since I was reborn."

"You were lonely, then," Haru stated, stroking the cross on the bird's breast. "Gomenasai… I was just so preoccupied with using my newly regained powers… but that's still no excuse."

"Don't apologize, Haru-sama. I understand. Having slept for as long as you did, you wished to enjoy life outside your inner world." She couldn't help but smile at her zanpakutoh's acute understanding of her motives for not coming sooner. Haru lowered her hand a bit and peered around her.

"So, this is what my world has become. The clouds seem so dark." She peered up at the deep gray covering overhead, one that dispersed a gradual stream of rain upon her. "And this water… was it ever this vivid? It's almost cerulean, and it's almost like…" Haru moved Suzaku to her shoulder and bent down, placing her hands against the glassy surface. "It's almost as if… the true light source isn't coming from overhead at all but from underneath."

"Strange, isn't it?"

"Hai." Haru peered at the unopened lotuses around her as she rose to her feet and turned her palms upward towards the rain. Slowly, her eyes drifted shut. Despite the aqueous nature of her environment, she could still feel the fire of her inner being, but where it was coming from, she could not discern. Her lips parted momentarily, and through them, she drew a deep breath. "I need your help, Suzaku. I cannot get through this fight alone."

"As I said before, I am aware of that. A shinigami never has to fight alone because they carry a zanpakutoh." Suzaku peered at her wielder, who seemed on the brink of meditating. "I see what you wish to do, Haru-sama, but are you sure it is wise? You are still injured from your escape from Hueco Mundo despite Orihime's best efforts, and you have already gained injuries from this battle."

"I know," she answered, "but I can't just let it end this way." Her eyes flew to Suzaku's, eyes clouded with a mixture of anger and determination. Because she knew Haru so well, she immediately understood and bent her head in submission to her wielder's will. "The consequence may be too great for the reason, but I have to protect this place, no matter what. And also, I must take back what was taken from me."

"Haru-sama…" She pressed a hand against her neck and felt the ring there, and even though she was in her inner world, she was clad in her shinigami garb. Determined to deter her, Suzaku fluttered through the air and hovered in front of her wielder. "You can't let yourself be consumed by that desire. Yamashita though you are, if you steep yourself too much in vengeance, you will make the same mistakes that your predecessors did." Haru gave her a look of understanding and bowed her head.

"I know. But I can't change what I'm feeling, not until I make sure they never do this to anyone again. The only logical course of action now is to finish this. To do that, I need your help. So…" Haru's voice trailed off as she bent to her knees and cradled one of the lotuses in her hand. "The two of us, as well as the Seele I possess, must burn as one. Are you willing to do that, Suzaku?"

"At your current output, there is a high possibility that it will strain your psyche."

"That's why I have you," Haru answered. "If I get to that point, I need you to bring me back using any means necessary. I trust that you can. You were always rather rational… except when it came to protecting me. Then, you become just as vengeful as I do when I'm protecting you." She smiled and shook her head. "We really are a lot alike, Suzaku."

"As we should be." Haru turned away and closed her eyes, feeling the rain one last time before falling back into consciousness. Her eyes shot open to see a vivid whir of white, yet she was quite capable of finding which way was down. As she landed, an agonizing pain raced up her thigh and across her hip. She staggered but refused to fall, pressing her hand against the wound and releasing a breath. The sound of Nnoitora landing in close proximity caused her eyes to move. He seemed to be hanging back for a moment, maybe to ponder in what other ways he could make her suffer, or perhaps he was surprised at her poise despite her injury. Whatever the case, she didn't particularly care for the way he was looking at her. "Nandesuka?" Puzzled, he arched a brow. "I thought you were going to kill me."

"Don't be so impatient. I want to drag this out."

"Then you're trying to buy time for Szayel-san." She smirked as an irritated look washed over him. "Souka. I was wondering why he came… now I see. He only wants data, so he won't strike recklessly. However…" The smile that spread over her face was dangerous. It complemented the sharp look in her eyes as the color seemed to drain out of them. "If you two are pompous enough to think I'll let even one hollow survive, then you had better think again."

"What was that?" he demanded, rushing forward with his weapons raised. Haru patiently shut her eyes, focusing on reading the reishi around her. Just as he began to deliver what he intended to be the finishing blow, Haru raised her Seele and stopped his weapon from descending. Her arm didn't even tremble under the force of the blow. For some reason, the sheer fact that she exhibited such strength after so long completely disabled him from moving. When her eyes reappeared, a silver gleam raced across their surface, one that spread around her entire body as, one by one, the bands on her zanpakutoh began to glow. Similar bands appeared on her Seele, though they were shadowed instead. "The three shall be as one," she murmured, drawing a breath as she sliced through one of his scythes. Immediately, five more fell on her, but Haru's blades moved through the air in perfect time with each other. They all shattered under the concentrated reiatsu coursing between her body and her weapons. She tilted her head back as if she were enraptured with the feeling, then rammed her zanpakutoh straight through his stomach. Nnoitora expelled a mouthful of blood before summoning six new scythes and swinging them all down on her. They cut nothing but air. His eyes followed her form as she landed a short distance away, swinging her zanpakutoh once through the air to clean it and then letting her weapons hang at her sides.

"The hell…"

"Please don't tell me you're too dense to figure it out yourself." Haru dodged his next attack, weaving around the blades with considerable agility considering her injured leg. "This is the lone flame. The three shall be as one. They shall have one pride, they shall move with one purpose, they shall burn with one light. This is… ignis solus." As she spoke the name, the reiatsu around her scattered. Each arm was lit with a single band to match the four on her weapons. Nnoitora knew that her spiritual pressure had just climbed to a higher level than it had been, a level that almost frightened him.

"I'm the strongest espada," he growled. "I don't care how much reiatsu you've got. You won't beat me!" Haru blocked one strike after another, somehow without opening her eyes. Then, she finally broke away, shooting down the road with enough speed to make him question how well he could keep up with her, especially considering that her last blow had damaged him internally. Though the exterior laceration had healed, he detected the wound within, but he wouldn't let that stop him.

Haru detected his pursuit immediately. _I have to get above him somehow, _she thought, vaulting onto a roof. She waited just long enough for him to see her before leaping to the next one. _It feels so much like flying, _she thought, throwing herself to the right as Nnoitora attempted once more to kill her. _My balance is better, now. My speed has climbed. I have rearranged my reiatsu to maximize efficiency. Somehow, even though I know this is a battle, I feel at peace… _Haru blocked the next strike, then fell into her rhythmic dodging, not daring to open her eyes for fear that she would lose focus. After he had made six swings, she rushed forward and ducked the seventh, then drove the blade against the point where his shoulder and his neck joined. She couldn't entirely evade the next cut; it sliced the front of her shoulder, but she ignored it and rushed forward again. _More, _she thought, driving the Seele into his leg. She felt one of his scythes race across her face as she ducked the blow, then wretched the weapon free. _More. _Tired of dodging, Haru began to block his weapons one after the other, alternating between her Seele and her zanpakutoh. _More. _Her consciousness burned with the word as she flashed past him, completely severing one of his arms from his body. She turned back to face him, opening her eyes this time because she was quickly growing tired. It was just in time to see his arm regenerate, the sight of which turned her stomach but did not make her look away.

She rushed him, infused with the sudden urge to take the offensive. Nnoitora blocked the first strike with difficulty. The second actually shattered the weapon he was holding and severed the flesh of his arm, which quickly healed. Haru could see just by the way he kept faltering that he was having trouble keeping track of when she was attacking and with which blade she was doing so. For her, however, it required no thought; like everything else about her father's technique, it was one unified string of action unbroken by conscious decisions. One of his weapons flew from his hands from the force of her swing, and she took the opportunity to put another hole in him. This time, she avoided the counterattack and dropped into a crouch, slamming her foot against his ankle and throwing him off balance, but only for a moment. Nnoitora caught himself and swung twice in her direction, at which point Haru leapt over both of them and turned two full rotations in the air before landing in a crouch.

They rushed at each other. Nnoitora prepared to finish, but Haru flashed past him at the last moment, forcing him to whirl around and follow her. _Suzaku._

_Hai?_

_This will be risky._

_I know, _she answered. _I already see what you intend to do._

_Do you think we can?_

_Live on or perish. There is no can or cannot. _Haru smiled and leapt over the gap separating one building from another, landing in a crouch and taking off at a full run. She felt Nnoitora closing in behind her, and the moment of truth descended upon her. This moment would decide everything, and her execution had to be impeccable. As she neared the edge of the building, she increased her speed. The cold air rushed past her as she ran, both weapons extended at her sides.

_Then… shall we give it a go? _Nnoitora expected her to jump again, and he was at such close proximity that he decided to attempt killing her again. Unfortunately, his assumptions had been wrong. Just when he became certain and raised his weapons, Haru drove her Seele into the roof and set her foot against it. While maintaining a hold on it, she made a perfect turn and struck the blade that would otherwise have carved another injury into her flesh. Nnoitora attempted to turn, but his own weaponry was too cumbersome for such sharp maneuvers, and though he managed to face her, he couldn't stop himself from going over the edge. Haru finished her turn and wretched her weapon free, and in an instant rushed towards him. She drove it entirely through his body before being desperately flung away by one of his arms. In this manner, she achieved a position directly above him. Immediately, she took hold of her zanpakutoh with both hands and raised it above her head, waiting until gravity took over to cut downward. Nnoitora thrust one scythe in her direction, but her zanpakutoh fell against it, severing the blade and continuing its own descent as she murmured the name of her final attack form. "Saishuuteki na keitei: shinseinahi!"

As she swung, two streams of flame raced downward from the tip of the blade and contacted the Seele, ensuring that her unity with it would not be broken. Having done that, Haru flashed aside and landed in the snow, immediately turning to witness the grandeur of Suzaku's apex. The vortex of flames stretched towards the heavens, spinning at a speed she wasn't familiar with. She deemed it a product of ignis solus, but even as the thought crossed her mind, she felt a difference in this power. With a sigh, she tried to find the difference within her, not realizing that her hand had already touched the ring around her neck. She felt Nnoitora trying to break the form from within. Whether he did so or not, that attack would end their duel.

Haru staggered backwards and clamped her teeth around the gap between her thumb and index finger. An agonizing pain had shot through her entire body and skewed her focus. The skin on her arms burned with unbelievable force. It didn't subside until she tasted blood in her mouth, and even then, she retained an acute awareness of it. _Matte… _she thought. _I can feel it… the Seele… it's calling out for some reason. _Standing was a difficult task, but it was one that she forced herself to accomplish. Some faint vibration in the air made her even more aware that her other weapon, despite lacking a consciousness in the sense that she and Suzaku possessed one, seemed to be calling to her. She shut her eyes and tried to hear the distinct quality of its vibration, isolating it from that her own zanpakutoh made. _Iie… we have one voice. _The answer became clear, and Haru raised her zanpakutoh, pressing her hand against the bands wrapping around its blade. Never in her life had she tried to control shinseinahi in the same sense that she had controlled her other forms. They were somewhat like water in that they formed to the container of her thoughts, but the third and final form was just fire, one that burned without restraint. She felt another shift; Nnoitora still hadn't given up yet, and the pillar was beginning to sway at its base, a sure sign of instability.

Her old wounds ached, but Haru held her ground, focusing only on the definite presence of the Seele within those flames. _But what am I supposed to do with it? _Haru pondered for a moment, then peered to the form itself. The raw and reckless sort of determination overtook her. Holding Suzaku with its point facing the ground, she let her hand move slowly along its blade. _More, _she thought. _More intensity, more pressure… until his bones crumble to dust and his insides melt, until his body feels what my heart felt in that moment. _The searing pain was nearly unbearable, but Haru maintained her focus and forced herself to see through it. _The target will be the Seele. _She drew a breath and shifted her reiatsu. In an instant, the intensity of the flames changed; two streams broke off from the main body, both burning white and shooting towards the sky, curling in circles around the red cyclone. _That's it, _she thought, guiding them. _Fly higher… higher… past the sun. _They arced through the air, shooting outwards as they came to the edge of the cyclone. "Now! Houkai danketsu!"

They met and unified, then raced into the vortex, igniting everything therein. The entire form collapsed in on itself, emitting an intense release of energy that caused Haru to drop and shield her face from the snow. She managed to peer at the vibrant white flames until they combusted with a force that threw her backwards and against a wall. She never let go of her zanpakutoh, not even when she lost consciousness for a moment because of the pain. Even through the wind, she could detect a long peel of sound that definitely was not her own. It was the dying cry of someone who had realized the self-induced façade of his strength.

In its wake, shinseinahi left an unbroken silence. Haru pushed her way out of the snow that had accumulated around her and staggered forward, drawing rough breaths because of the reiatsu she had just expelled. She studied the location of impact, where her Seele rested against the ground. Other than that, nothing remained of Nnoitora, nothing but the memory. She wrapped her hand around the deactivated Seele and rose to her feet, whirling away. Only after a moment did she pause and bow her head to the point of his demise before continuing at a slow walk in her chosen direction.

* * *

><p>With all four of them working, the extermination of the small army of hollow started moving along, especially with Takumi's efficiency. He seemed to be an expert at casting lethal blows. There came a moment when every hollow stopped. None of the shinigami understood why, but they redoubled their efforts. Hajime decapitated one after the other, Renji's shikai bent in an arc around them, Hinamori released a blow of kidou from her zanpakutoh that took out three at once, and Takumi slammed the base of his lance against the ground, keeping the point upward. "Taiyoushibou." The gleam took out those surrounding him. Only then did he have a chance to peer in the direction that all the hollow seemed to be looking. Now, it was only a brilliant point of light about half a mile away. He let his arm relax as he peered at it with both eyes. A gentle gust of wind flowed towards him, one that he drew into his lungs before releasing a breath. <em>Yamashita-taichou…<em>

He blocked the hollow that attempted to kill him from behind and impaled it. "Tsukishibou." With that word, and a silver gleam from his zanpakutoh, the hollow ended its own life. He returned his gaze to the glimmer, but it had disappeared. Still, the hollow's movements were marked with an odd uneasiness, one that made them less evasive. _I didn't feel anything, but there had to be some kind of reiatsu involved with that. Come to think of it, I didn't feel her arrive or release her zanpakutoh. Strange… _Possible reasons as to the utter absence of Haru's reiatsu scurried through his head as he cut through his enemies. _Then again, I don't feel these hollow around me, and they're a lot stronger than I thought they'd be. _Takumi felt a sword cut the side of his face and immediately thrust his weapon through the skull of the offender. Then, he drew back and thrust it into one behind him.

He paused again when he felt a pair of eyes on him. Slowly, he rose and turned to it. He had long forgotten his caution and made no move to close his left eye as he peered through his hair and locked eyes with the observer. Szayel actually paused, and his expression betrayed his ruse of composure. Byakuya's senbonzakura almost ensnared him, but he escaped at the last moment. Takumi, not having forgotten about the hollow charging him, smirked and cut them down without so much as one glance. His eyes both followed Szayel as he withdrew to a safe distance, which he had been doing so irritatingly since the battle had begun. They studied each other for a moment, and a glimpse of the future played itself out before Takumi's eyes. Slowly, he sank into repose, dropping his weapon slightly before releasing a sigh. "Kuso… I really didn't want to have to do this today, not after having broken the rules once, but I guess I've got no choice. I've got to make this quick." He wrapped his hand around his zanpakutoh and moved his eyes to one of the hollow. _I can't feel the reiatsu, but I can see it… with this eye. _He pressed his left hand to it, then parted his fingers. His own spiritual pressure pulsed when he did so, drawing the attention of both Hinamori and Hajime.

"Takumi, what are you doing?"

"Cover me for a bit," he answered.

"Eh?"

"I'll explain later."

"Don't tell me you're getting lazy," Renji retorted, rendering the hollow that would otherwise have killed him in twain.

"Iie. I just need a moment."

"Then take your damn moment already!"

"Hai, hai," he answered, waving his hand and glancing from hollow to hollow. _Their reiatsu is identical. They're all of the same power level. Perfect. _He couldn't help but smile as he spun his lance around before wrapping both hands around it and holding it horizontally as he bowed his head. _I'll finish this… just to pay them all back for protecting me for so long. _Though they had drastically reduced in number, there were still enough of them to be a nuisance.

"Baka," Hajime hissed in his ear. "If you use that in the condition you're in, then you won't be up for at least another three days. Tack that onto the time you'll already be out, and…"

"It'll be fine," Takumi replied wryly. "Besides, I need to focus. You're distracting me."

"Takumi…"

"Just trust me, alright? If I'm out, then I'm out. That's why I've got a friend like you who can take care of me when I do stupid things and injure myself." Hajime cut down the hollow that was moving towards him, then realized that it had a black mark on its uniform. Upon glancing around, he noted that nearly all of the other hollow did, too. They expressed displeasure at such a marking and immediately stopped trying to fight altogether as the wind stirred around them.

"You can't kill them all in one blow. It's statistically impossible," Szayel stated, blocking Byakuya's strike before retreating a bit again.

"You can take your damn statistics and shove them," he answered, leaning his head back and casting his red eye in the espada's direction. "Because I'm so far beyond them, they don't even apply." With a gradual sweeping motion, Takumi drew one circular figure in the air, then shook his weapon three times so the rings struck against one another. When he slammed it against the ground, the noise was almost deafening, considering how quiet things had suddenly become. He drew another breath, and with both eyes open, he murmured in a low tone, "Sekaishibou." The wind stirred, and immediately, their souls disintegrated as a chorus of death cries filled the restless air. With another sigh, Takumi tilted his head back with a condescending smile and peered to Szayel again. The dangerous gleam still lingered in his red eye. The pupil had narrowed to a slit and currently gleamed with the exact same silvery hue that his attack had. "So…" he said slowly. "Looks like you're the only one left. What are you going to do now, Szayel Apporo Granz?" Infuriated, he vanished before a stream of cherry blossom petals engulfed him, arriving at the exact point Takumi had envisioned before the sky overhead broke open and the sanctuary of negación surrounded him.

"Kuso! You coward!" Renji shouted, waving his arms in rebellion. Hinamori and Hajime, both hopeless, stood and leered at the ground. Even Byakuya exhibited his resentment by turning away, but Takumi remained as he was.

"You don't look surprised at all," Szayel said slowly.

"Because I knew it would happen," he answered, turning towards the espada.

"What do you think you are, boy? Some kind of augur?"

"Iie," he responded. "I'm just a shinigami, nothing more."

"Please. You're not nearly as dull as the rest of them."

"Thanks, I think," Takumi replied, still smiling. Irritated, Szayel clenched his fist and glared at the placid shinigami.

"Wipe that smirk off your face. I may have failed to recapture the girl, but I did get some interesting data on all of you."

"Eh?" Renji stated. "Was that your plan all along?"

"Afraid so, though I must say, some of you are far more interesting than others." Takumi met the gaze of every eye that looked upon him. "I'm patient enough to wait for you to become my specimen, but for now, it's over…" He seemed almost hesitant to say that final word. From where he was, he spotted the slow yet steady moving figure. Upon detecting the sound of footsteps, Takumi peered over his shoulder, studying her for a moment, before dropping his head into a genuine bow of respect.

"T… taichou…"

"It isn't over," Haru said, peering at Szayel for a moment and lowering the hand that was grasping her right arm before dropping her gaze to scrutinize her sword. "Tell me something… how many times did I cut you in that instant before I fled?"

"Why would it matter now that my injuries are healed?" he countered.

"Don't get moody. I was only curious if you remembered." She stared at the reflection of her eyes for a moment, then peered to Szayel, who still seemed clueless as to why she would ask such a pointless question. "It was thirty-seven."

"Thirty-seven irrelevant cuts."

"So you would think." Haru raised her sword and pressed her bloody fingers against the bands near the hilt. "Suzaku is significantly different than other zanpakutoh in many ways. I'm sure you know this already, beings you have studied her so thoroughly. Her power is evolution, and evolution occurs in part because of our ability to remember."

"What of it?"

"I'm saying Suzaku's blade itself has a memory. It remembers situations where my best efforts have been thwarted, and it adjusts its power to better serve my ends in the future."

"Is there a point to this? You're boring me."

"There certainly is." Haru's reiatsu fluctuated, and the second band from the top glimmered with a deep blue hue. "Didn't you ever once consider the fact… that I had a reason for releasing my zanpakutoh before cutting you? Suzaku remembers another espada that decided to escape via negación. Even before she was reborn, she had already adjusted so that, if that situation ever arose again, I would be able to deal with it quickly and effectively." The faint haze of her reiatsu sprang up around her, silvery yet noticeable against the backdrop of the snow. Feeling something strange, he peered at his arm to find that a faint line of light had appeared on it. Similar markings appeared across his entire uniform in every place she had cut him before leaving Hueco Mundo. "Just to be certain that if we ever met again, I would have the upper hand, I took the liberty of imprinting each of those thirty-seven wounds with a coating of reishi that has, by now, spread through your entire body."

"My body is immune to parasites!"

"It isn't a parasite," she retorted. "When a wound breaks the skin, reishi naturally enter with the air. Since our bodies are composed of the same substance, our immune systems don't recognize those reishi as foreign contaminants. Even if you had known all of this in advance, you couldn't have done anything unless you turned your body against itself." He was almost as angry as he was when he had lost the chess match against her. His orange eyes flamed, his look was visibly indignant, and yet, she could also discern from it an inexplicable confidence. "You don't seem worried at all that you're about to die."

"You can't kill me. It is statistically impossible."

"Well, beings I have already killed the quinta espada, who is statistically stronger than you, I don't think taking you out will be much of a problem." Haru ran her finger along the groove in the blade thoughtfully for a moment. "I could deal with everything you did to me in Hueco Mundo: your deception, your plan to transform me into a killing force, even your gods forsaken ego, but the one thing I can't forgive, even now, is the fact that you nearly destroyed Suzaku. For that reason, and for underestimating me, my pride will devour you."

"What…" he stammered, an almost mad look crossing his face. "Just what are you?" Haru grinned and raised her eyes.

"I'm just a shinigami, nothing more." Haru's fingers swept across the blade, causing the blade to burn with a blue flame as she did so. When they reached the end, they extended beyond the blade, and a small stream of blue flame lingered in the air before arcing gracefully back towards the sword and finally vanishing. "Kagehi." He screamed one last profanity as his entire body was consumed, from the inside out, by a blue flame that curled through the negación as if seeking something else to burn. It devoured him entirely, shout and all, until the negación crumbled away. The flame died, leaving nothing but the vivid memory of the burning body and a few ashes that raced away in the wind. Haru cut through the air with her zanpakutoh, scattering its guard and sliding it back into its sheath. "Now… it's over." Even as the words left her mouth, she swayed where she stood and collapsed to her knees. Takumi, being the closest one to her, exhibited significant alarm and immediately kneeled in front of her, shaking her shoulders as he beckoned to her.

"Yamashita-taichou! Are you alright? Oi, say something, will you? Yamashita-taichou!" It was with great difficult that Haru raised one hand and let it fall against his shoulder. She also raised her eyes, which were weary though they burned with the same smile that lit her expression.

"Tadaima." His breath hitched, and he stared blankly at her. Then, he let it fall into a bow. The hands resting against her shoulders quivered, and with a sigh, she patted his shoulder twice before climbing to her feet slowly. She staggered once, but then achieved enough balance to walk. "Momo-san, Hajime, I know he's troublesome, and you probably hate me for what I did, but can you please look after him? I need a moment."

"Of course," they answered, waiting until she had withdrawn before kneeling to assess his condition. Her steps were deliberate, just as the position of her head was. She maintained eye contact with what was directly ahead of her, giving neither Renji nor Byakuya a glance despite seeming to detect their gazes following her. They watched her stager away, just to the other edge of a building, and disappear. Once she had, Takumi erupted in a fit of coughing, one that sounded as bad as it actually was.

"Baka," Hajime stated, letting his brows fall together with concern as a few drops of blood fell against the snow. "This is what you get for overdoing it, and for moving when you're injured, and for pulling stunts like the one you just did. Think a little less of your captain and a little more of yourself…"

"How can you tell me to do that?" he demanded, immediately bowing his head again and covering his mouth. Irritated, Hajime seized his friend's shoulders and pulled him forward so that his forehead rested against his own shoulder.

"The strong support the weak. Unlike class, that is something that is constantly changing."

"If you knew how much she was suffering right now, you wouldn't tell me to ignore her."

"She seemed composed to me," Renji retorted, "though I'm still a bit wary. What's she doing here if she's on Aizen's side, and wearing a captain's haori no less?" Hinamori and Hajime exchanged glances, then peered to Byakuya, who was still staring in the direction she had walked in.

"We'd explain it, but it's probably best told by her," Hinamori stated. "Hey, Takumi… take it easy," she added as he sat up and threw his gaze at Byakuya, who took notice of him long enough to provide a thorough look of contempt before turning away.

"Kuchiki-taichou," he murmured, wiping the blood away from the corner of his mouth. "You should go after her."

"What good would it do?"

"What are you afraid of?" An icy threat crossed Byakuya's expression, but inside, he couldn't deny Takumi's accusations.

"Renji."

"Hai?"

"Send for the fourth division. See to it that their injuries are treated." Renji agreed to do as his captain asked because, for once in his life, he completely understood his captain's motives for giving him that task.

* * *

><p>I'm pretty sure this is the most fun I've ever had saying "Ef you, canon!" although I'm sure the Zaraki fans and the Mayuri fans (does he have fans? *shudders*) will be after me with lots of rage since Haru just stole their moments from them. My apologies. ^_^ Hopefully, a Japanese lesson will cheer you all up. Oh, and there are some explanatory notes, too, about the new attacks appearing in this chapter at the end.<p>

Nani: What

Iie: No

Arigato: Thanks

Yare, yare: Well, well

Yamete kudasai: Please stop

Nande: Why

Urusai: Shut up

Souka: I see

Hai: Yes

Kuso: Japanese swear word. It doesn't seem to be a chapter without one. ^_^

Onegai: Please

Sugoi: Awesome

Gomenasai: Semi-formal apology

Nandesuka: What is it

Baka: Idiot

Tadaima: I'm home

Hoshoutate: Security shield, one of the barriers Hajime is able to create with his zanpakutoh.

Houkai danketsu: United collapse, a sort of sub-form to Haru's third attack form. Rather than blooming into the shape of a phoenix, two tails of flame break off the body of the cyclone and spin skyward before meeting and shooting downwards towards the Seele. The result is a formidably high discharge of reiatsu within a concentrated area.

Sekaishibou: Takumi's third and final attack form, used for large numbers of hollow with similar frequencies of reiatsu. The internets just told me that "shibou" can mean death or wish, so this can translate to "World death" or "World wish." Ah, serendipity…

Well, I must say, this chapter has been a delight, but I have to recede back into my coursework for now. I hope to post again in the next couple of weeks, but chaos is about to get heavier. Until then, I humbly request your patience and hope that you enjoyed this chapter. =)


	7. Chapter 7: Home

A/N: I live!_  
><em>

Holy crap... I apologize to everyone for my extended disappearance, but my last semester caught up with me. Suffice to say, now that it is over, I am going on a big fat chapter uploading spree! Huzzah! I'm hoping to have it finished before my big fat overseas move in August, but the summer promises to be a busy one. I'll do what I can. I confess that I have not been as diligent with this as I would have liked, but I feel like I have made this confession before. To pay everyone back, I will be power-uploading over the next few days... unless work gets in the way, which, as many of you know, it very well could. But before we get to the chapter, I have some thanks to express and some miscellaneous concerns.

First, I extend my gratitude to everyone who has been patiently awaiting this next installment. You are all epic. Hugs to the readers, to the patient waiters, to those who have encouraged me to go on in spite of everything, and especially to my reviewers: Juliedoo, BabyG'3710, NAO-chan33, BeautifulXinXBlood, animegurl9871, lostfeather1, animelover56348, Chris-Chris38, and, more recently, DisillusionedNight.

Second, I do plan on finishing this, so fear not. It shall be done! And then... I dunno what. I'm not sure I could top a fan epic of this proportion. Maybe I'll edit the earlier chapters. Some reviewers have pointed out some stylistic issues that I would simply love to go and correct with my handy dandy red pen. =)

Third and finally, animelover56348 gets another huge thanks for single-handedly pushing the number of reviews on KTH to 200. You are a good human being and a devoted reader, and I am honored to have you, and people like you, still following this story.

I suppose I have kept you waiting long enough. I know it has been over three months, but I thank you all again for your patience and humbly present you with the next installment. Please enjoy. ^_^

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 7: Home<em>

Haru rounded the corner, took a handful of steps, and staggered, pressing one knee into the fine white covering on the ground and the other over her mouth. _Must be my limit, _she thought, turning her body and pressing her back against the wall. Now that the adrenaline had stopped pounding in her ears and the fire in her veins had subsided, she was left vulnerable to the aftershock of guilt. She couldn't decide whether she hated it or felt it a worthy penance for showing that expression in front of her vice captain, her third seat, her companions, and him… again. The fight had been frustrating enough. Now, she had to consider the consequences, whatever they may be, for everything she had just put herself through. Just when she had thoroughly begun to ruminate on such things, she realized that a shadow had crossed her line of sight. She peered up at him for a moment, then dropped her gaze to some undisturbed part of the snow.

"Nande?" She gave no sign of acknowledging the question, so he repeated himself. "Why did you leave? Or perhaps… I should ask why you came back. Was it just to be a captain?" Haru couldn't help but smile faintly at his accusation, even though it cut her to the core. "Haru-kun, answer me."

"As usual, you fear the worst," Haru stated, tilting her head back and looking directly into his eyes. "And because of that, you wind up making dangerous assumptions." She tilted her head slightly at the expression that quickly overcame his typical stoic mask. "You look mad."

"I cannot ignore the fact that you keep dodging my question."

"And you're still so damn impatient," Haru retorted. "Not to mention obstinate. Takumi told you I was dead, and then you go and try to bargain with the first espada who tells you otherwise?"

"Had I been aware of your current whereabouts, then perhaps I would not have taken such measures."

"Byakuya-sama," she sighed, lowering a hand against her wounded leg and shaking her head. "If I could have told you, then I would have."

"You told your vice captain."

"He caught me on my way out. Otherwise, I wouldn't have." Her eyes challenged his, and for a moment, he faltered. He wasn't quite sure what response would be suitable for the situation, so he favored silence instead.

"Just tell me why."

"Are you sure that's all you want to hear?" she returned, smirking before giving a slight cough. Byakuya restrained himself from kneeling next to her. When her hand moved away, it was clean to his relief. "I left Soul Society to become a captain. I came back to be with you." Haru's answer was so direct that his expression showed the traces of shock he felt on the inside. She studied him for only one more moment before drawing her knees up and hiding behind them.

"Haru-kun…"

"I've shed so much blood to come back… so much… I don't even know if I'm the same person anymore. I hate what I'm becoming. I hate what this whole thing has made me, but I couldn't give up, because I thought I may have had something to come back to…" Byakuya sighed and bent to one knee, touching the top of her head with a hand he forced to remain steady. He could feel her trembling. "Killing is so much easier now than it was before, but even worse is the fact that I just left without telling you anything, then faked my own death and delayed my return so I could recover… without even thinking of what you may be going through. I… I feel like I've committed an irreprehensible wrong… so… if you hate me for what I did, just say so. I won't blame you one bit." That last bit irked him; that much was evident by the way he hastily pressed his hands against her face and forced her to look up at him. She couldn't even utter one word before his lips were pressed against hers, urging her to forget the serious matters for just one moment and lose herself. Slowly, her teary eyes sank shut, pushing one final streak of moisture onto her cheeks as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

When Byakuya pulled back, he was breathless, but Haru was far more so considering the extent of her injuries far outweighed the insignificant wounds he possessed. Her breath hitched as she wrapped a hand around her waist, holding her side as continual pain jabbed her in the lung. She tried to hunch over, but he pushed her shoulders against the wall at her back, straightening her so more air could get to her lungs. "I…" she breathed. "I have to go back." Bewildered, he raised a brow, which probed her for an explanation. "I left my violin at Ishi-nii's apartment. I have to go back and…"

"In your condition, you are not going anywhere."

"Demo…" He pressed a finger to her lips to still any further argument. She peered at it for a moment before looking at the seriousness etched into his face. Detecting his desire to speak, Haru sealed her lips and peered at him expectantly. The finger traced the contour of her jawbone slowly, lingering at the point where it met her ear before retracing the same path.

"I told you before, Haru-kun, that I could never hate you." That same remained a moment more before faltering, and with a suddenness that made her cringe, his head dropped against her uninjured shoulder while his unsteady arms entwined her.

"Bya… Byakuya-sama…"

"Only a moment," he murmured. "For just one moment…" Judging from the quality of his tone, combined with the sharp hitch of his breath and his desire to hide against her shoulder, Haru thought the unthinkable. His composure had been pressed to the breaking point, and now, he was doing the thing that she had only witnessed once before, then on a grievous occasion. She was unsure of what to do at first, knowing that his composure was a high point of his pride. In the end, she had no choice but to let herself smile as the tears continued to fall while at the same time pulling him closer. If anyone saw them, she would preserve his honor, no matter what the cost to herself. Even though he was in such a state of distress, Haru could feel him smile against her shoulder.

"Baka," she murmured. "Don't smile and cry at the same time. It's one or the other. That's what you told me."

"Speak for yourself," he retorted, shaking his head in order to dry his eyes and withdrawing slightly. Haru prevented him from moving any more than a few centimeters, at which point she interrogated him with her eyes until she was sure that he could sustain himself again. Nonetheless, she couldn't stop herself from gently pressing her lips against his eyelids, one after the other, as he had done on that rainy day before her departure. As Byakuya drew back, he dried her face again, pausing as he examined the full extent of her wounds. "You must go to the fourth division immediately."

"I don't think I can." Her response elicited a heavy look from Byakuya, who gave no notice whatsoever as he slid one arm under her knees and wrapped the other around her shoulders. He lifted her easily, and Haru, knowing she was in no condition to object to his kindness, leaned against her shoulder and wrapped one hand around his scarf.

"You've lost weight."

"That kind of thing happens when you spend eleven or twelve days in a hellhole where anything the host serves you could be poison, then spend eight more days sleeping off the injuries you got escaping." Byakuya eyed her for a moment, considered asking her something, then thought better of it. After all, it would have been an entirely rhetorical question. He was well aware of how reckless she was already. "You look tired. Have you even slept since I disappeared?"

"Right now, I am slightly more concerned for your wellbeing. I will sleep once I know you are taken care of."

"That doesn't answer my question." Byakuya let himself sigh and peer down at her eyes, which, though they were weary, were already probing his for an answer.

"You should conserve your energy and focus on getting better."

"If you saw me when I got out of Hueco Mundo, then you wouldn't say things like that." His fingers quivered ever so slightly as he directed his own eyes to the road. "These injuries are pretty minor, considering."

"If I had my way, then you would not have had to go through any of that." Haru raised her head and peered at him again, but he wouldn't let her glimpse his eyes directly. No, he kept them on the path he was walking. "I know that you are formidable in battle and that, under the right mindset, you even become capable of… enacting extreme measures therein. However, that does not mean I lack any sort of desire to protect you, even if my own convictions tell me that you do not need it." Haru dropped her head against his shoulder, shutting her eyes and inhaling deeply, isolating that scent from every other perception she currently possessed. Slowly, they opened, but she didn't try to look at him again. She was afraid of stumbling into one of those undeniably strong states of mind that Byakuya referred to.

"Do you want me to be entirely dependent on you?"

"Iie," he answered. "To be honest, after what happened to Hisana, I cannot stand the thought of an entirely dependent woman. I merely wish to be reassured that you are not so strong that I will become entirely dependent on you." Haru laughed quietly.

"What gave you that idea?"

"I am unsure of your meaning."

"It's absurd," Haru retorted, smiling despite her frustration. "This complete dependence… the idea is altogether absurd. If you wish to continue living as we were before I left, then that shouldn't be our objective. Instead, we should strive for balance… codependence, if you will."

"Professionally, we shall depend upon our own selves, but beyond that, we shall lean on one another."

"Precisely," she answered, with another of her cryptic smiles. "It is as if you read my mind."

* * *

><p>Hajime took the liberty of notifying his captain that Byakuya would be arriving in the near future. In the same breath, he asked her to entrust Takumi's severe wounds to him, and though his friend had made more than half the journey supported between himself and Renji, though such wounds could likely kill him entirely, Unohana agreed to do as he asked. He left Hinamori with Renji while he took care of Takumi's wounds, Unohana performing treatment on their minor wounds before they all settled in to the idea of waiting patiently for something to happen. News regarding Takumi, the arrival of her own captain… it didn't matter what it was so long as the lull in the action was broken by something. Hinamori stood by the window expectantly, her arms folded. Renji sat tapping his foot, ill at ease due to the quietude. Unohana, slightly calmer, observed them with a maternal smile. Hinamori gave a visible shudder all of a sudden and clung more tightly to her arm.<p>

"It's my fault."

"Hmm?" Renji said suddenly.

"It's… all my fault. If I had been more alert…"

"Hinamori-san," Unohana interrupted. "We have already discerned that no one could feel those hollow."

"I should have left well enough alone," she continued. "If I had, then maybe he wouldn't be so reckless. Maybe he wouldn't have saved me. He would be better off if he had… better than he is now." Unohana's shihakusho rustled quietly as she approached Hinamori and rested her hand on the girl's quivering shoulder.

"Would you like me to tell you a little secret?" Bewildered, she turned to Unohana, who she suppoed was smiling through the curtain of tears in her eyes. "It isn't every day I do this, but I think he would want me to… Fujiwara-san, that is. He wouldn't want to see you like this."

"I know…" Hinamori attempted to wipe her eyes, but in the end, more tears came.

"When he was still at the academy, he nearly lost his left eye, the one that has since been taken from him." Renji moved to say something but fell immediately back into silence at the thought of what Haru would do to him if he uttered a single word of it. "I wasn't there when he nearly lost it, but I upbraided him pretty severely for not coming when it had happened, for continuing to fight in spite of his wounds. Do you know what he said to me that day?"

"Nani?"

"He said that he didn't care if he lived or died, that it would be better if he hadn't been cursed with a zanpakutoh like the one he had, and that all he would ever be good for is blindly killing his enemies. He said it was fate, and that his condition was fixed; it would never improve." Unohana smiled and peered at Hinamori for a moment. "And I asked myself, 'What has this boy been through, that he wishes more for death than he does for the strength to protect?' It struck me just a few weeks later after I told Hajime-san that I wanted him in my division. Fujiwara-san felt isolated from everyone around him by the very power he was striving to master. I can see that something has changed that, even if he will not admit it. So, now that he has something to live for, I don't believe he will die so easily." Hinamori blinked the rest of her tears away, then quietly thanked the matronly captain, who turned towards the door when it banged open with enough force to startle Renji. "How nice of you to join us, Hitsugaya-taichou." He seemed not to process Unohana's greeting and threw his eyes around the room, first to a bewildered Renji, then to a sniffling Hinamori.

"Thank heavens," he sighed, bowing his head under the weight of relief. "When I heard there had been another breaching, I was worried something serious had happened."

"I'm afraid you can't judge the conditions on these two," Unohana stated. "Fujiwara Takumi was half dead, and we are still waiting for the fifth and sixth division captains to arrive."

"Fifth division?"

"Hai," she answered. "Apparently, Yamamoto-soutaichou assigned the task to someone a little over three weeks ago, but it was unofficial until now."

"Seriously?" Hitsugaya stated. "Why weren't we told anything of it?"

"Apparently, it was classified," Unohana said, "and rather than informing me, Hinamori-san has been patiently holding her tongue."

"Hinamori!"

"H… hai?" she stammered at her childhood friend's sudden vigor.

"Who the hell is this new captain, thinking they can demote you?"

"A… ano… Shiro-chan… I mean, Hitsugaya-taichou…"

"Don't bother covering. I'm going to have it out with whoever it is and knock some damn sense into them."

"But I really don't have a problem with it."

"I don't really give a damn. It's the principle of the thing. You don't just throw away a perfectly good vice captain for someone like Fujiwara Takumi." Her arm moved before she could stop herself, a clean sweep across his face that caused Renji to flinch. Unohana studied them grimly as Hitsugaya's shock subsided and he turned to look at Hinamori Momo, whose hand was still raised and whose eyes had filmed over with a new sort of tears.

"If it weren't for him…" she said quietly, her voice quivering with rage. "If it weren't for him, I would be dead, or would you rather he hadn't saved my life?" His lips parted, but he immediately lost all courage to speak as she drove her fist against the wall and sank to the floor, sobbing quietly into her hand. At that moment, a pair of footsteps that had been falling ceased, and Renji rose to his feet. Byakuya, as usual, had his mask of composure on, but the frail figure in his arms seemed to be bearing an untold amount of pain. Her violet eyes were distant, but the one he could see moved until it found Hinamori. Only then did some sort of awareness fill it. She made a conscious effort to breathe steadily, a pitiful effort that ended in a light cough.

"Byakuya-sama, put me down."

"You are in no condition to…" That fire cut across her gaze, the one that clearly said she wouldn't back down, no matter how much he insisted. Heaving a sigh, he set the wobbly girl on her feet, reaching out as she swayed. She clung to his arm for a moment, gathered her strength, and raised her eyes.

"Impossible…" Hitsugaya had until that point not recognized Haru, but when she gazed at him with those vivid eyes, there was no mistaking her identity. "You… can't be…" There were more pressing matters than his shock at the moment, however. She drew one final breath before relinquishing her grip on Byakuya's arm and pacing across the room as if no ounce of pain dared desecrate her frame. With each step she took, several drops of blood hit the floor. Haru seemed oblivious of that. As she passed Hitsugaya, she paused.

"That word you would like to have with me… can it wait until I've taken care of things?" Too startled to respond, Haru took his silence as an affirmative and dropped to one knee in front of Hinamori, wincing as it contacted the ground but managing to regain her composure nonetheless. It was with painstaking difficulty that Haru let a hand fall against Hinamori's shoulder. "What's the matter, hmm? Or is it something you can't tell me?"

"I hate it!" she declared with enough energy to bring a smile to Haru's otherwise weary face. "People are always assuming, always judging… what the hell gives anyone the right to do that to him… or you, for that matter? It's not fair! No one… no one should have to suffer like that…" Just then, she got control of her emotions and peered at her captain, who simply smiled in understanding.

"Takumi and I are judged because we're different. He has that inner demon, and I have my peculiar heritage. It is our fate to endure the judgment of others, but as concrete as he sees fate, it has changed. Maybe this can change, too, if only by one person at a time." Hinamori dried her face again and peered at her captain, who was still smiling despite her pitiful condition. "Arigato, Momo-san. You've given me a little piece of hope, and for that, I…" Whatever else Haru was going to say was cut off by a fit of coughing that drew her hand to her mouth and her head into a bow. Hinamori, alarmed, immediately reached out to stabilize Haru, who was dangerously close to losing her balance.

"Taichou, are you alright? Yamashita-taichou!" Her senses ran together for a moment, long enough for her to forget the importance of maintaining her own strength. When she came to, she was leaning against Hinamori's shoulder, drawing breaths that were labored but shallow. Her hand, covered in blood, rested against the floor. She flexed her fingers, just to make sure she was capable of doing such things. The vague sensation of urgency drifted through the air. In spite of that, Haru allowed herself to smile.

_Captain though I am, I still have moments where my strength fails. _She relaxed her hand. _Those with strength will watch over those who possess less, and they will in turn look on those who are weaker. This will be the credo of the fifth division… a continuously changing web of vigilance that will spread until we are all connected to each other. And until this division—my division— reconnects to Soul Society._ Satisfied with that thought, she let her own perceptions cave, and she plummeted into a dark oblivion away from duty and desire.

* * *

><p>A heartbeat was the first thing that told her she was alive. That, and the feeling of cold air touching her bare shoulders. Slowly, Haru opened her eyes and shifted them around her surroundings. She could feel someone winding bandage around her outstretched arm. Curious, she moved her fingers, and an excruciating pain immediately shot through her shoulder, drawing a faint groan from her lungs. "Please don't move yet, Haru-sama. I'm not finished." She forced the breath from her lungs and turned to Unohana, who looked genuinely concerned for her wellbeing. Knowing that it was best to obey, she relaxed and allowed her to continue. A faint dripping noise echoed in her ears, and as she glanced to the right, she saw a steady descent of clear fluid above and to her right. Upon further scrutiny, she found the tube leading to her stationary right arm. No doubt, the fluid was being fed to her intravenously. Haru moved her head back to Unohana. "You certainly gave us a scare, disappearing like that, then just dropping out of consciousness. I find it remarkable, though… you looked so peaceful when you did, I was almost afraid to move you."<p>

"Unohana-taichou." Surprised at how weak her own voice sounded, Haru cleared her throat and gazed at her caretaker. "I… need to do something."

"If you're thinking about contacting the human world, then don't bother. Byakuya-sama already took care of it." Haru drew a breath, then rolled her head to the side to hide her smile, finding that her motion was slightly impeded by the bandages around her neck. "Do you remember how you got here?" Startled at the question, she peered at Unohana again, but before her eyes met the gentle, observant pair in charge of treating her wounds, several vivid, gruesome images shot through her mind, and her expression burned with agony.

"I couldn't forget, even if I wanted to." Her right hand tightened around the blankets, and she half turned away again, ashamed of her own antipathy. She didn't hate Suzaku for giving her that much power and permission to use it; she merely hated the fact that she had thought to utilize it in the manner that she did, as a tool not just to protect, but to kill in cold-blooded revenge. _I knew the consequences going into it. Still… I didn't think it would bother me this much. _The reason presented itself in another vivid flash of fire, accompanied by the echo of a frustrated explanation that was understandable in any language, and she shut her eyes in an effort to forget.

"Did I pull too tight?"

"Iie," she answered. "It was just an unpleasant memory." Unohana nodded in acknowledgement and continued.

"I heard… you went pretty far out there."

"I did what I had to. Besides, I would rather bloody my own hands than see others suffer like this."

"Do you think killing is a noble calling?"

"Hell, no," she answered, "and I'm loath to admit this, but… in the world we live in now, it has to be done, sometimes, not intrinsically, but as a means to an end. I will only raise Suzaku for three reasons: to preserve my own life, to preserve the lives of others, and to preserve my pride. If it means killing, then…" Haru heaved a difficult sigh and stared at the ceiling, surprised that she was so calm despite the fact that, at that very moment, her vice captain might be dead. Realizing her thought, she caught it before it could escape her mouth. She had almost said, "Then so be it," and she hated herself for that line of reason. _Has going there really crushed my thought… no, my certainty… that every social barrier can be crossed by a common bond, including the impasse separating shinigami and hollow? _Haru drew a deep breath, noticing the constriction around her rib cage, and heaved a heavy sigh before slinging her right arm over her eyes. A pinch of pain raced through it, likely because of the needle feeding her fluids, but the discomfort subsided. "I can't say I enjoy that part of the job, but it's something I agreed to do… when I agreed to become a captain."

Unohana, having finished with her task, laid Haru's arm down beside her and folded her own hands in her lap. "I don't believe I'm permitted to ask anything about your expedition, but… if you had some kind of certainty that it would come to this end, then why did you leave in the first place, and under the pretense of betrayal?" A vivid flash of violet appeared, and the fourth division captain allowed her breath to hitch. They reflected all the unseen scars that Haru now bore on her soul, on her psyche, on her precious ideals. Then, just as quickly, she looked away. "Have you forgotten, or did you not really know in the first place?"

"I knew," Haru answered. "I knew that going there would change me, but what I'm becoming… it's unbearable." She clenched her right hand into a ball before relaxing it and passing it over her face. She felt the bandages around her neck for a moment, then stirred slightly so she could observe the rest of the room. A clean uniform without sleeves was neatly folded on a table, along with her captain's haori and the glove-like apparatuses that encased her arms. On top of those was the phone she used to contact those in the human world, as well as a small object that glinted reassuringly. Sighing with relief, she sat up despite Unohana's protests, keeping the blankets wound about her. "There is something you should understand about me, and about every Yamashita that came before me: we are a people that always tie up loose ends. When a debt is due, we pay it, and when we are owed a debt, we collect. The blood of my father was the only blood I hadn't yet collected payment for, and Aizen unknowingly paid it." A faint smile passed over her face, satisfied yet darkly determined. "I could turn my back on this place now if I wanted to. I have resolved the debt that kept me from becoming a captain. Logically, I no longer have a reason to fight…" She gave a slight laugh, wincing because it pained her, and raised her violet eyes again. "Demo, that would make me no better than Szayel-san, who saw the world as nothing more than a clock run by chance. There are other reasons to fight, reasons that go beyond the measurable. And so, I'll become a part of the chain with no weak links and do what I can to protect the sovereignty of this place. As long as I hold onto that, then I think I can find the strength to go on."

Unohana, touched by her determination, gave Haru a maternal smile. "I don't question that you are worthy of being a captain. I ask only that you not overdo it. Otherwise, you will be seeing much of these walls." She nodded in understanding. "I thought I should tell you that the mark on your back has altered since I last saw it."

"It has?"

"Hai," Unohana answered, "though I'm not sure what it means." Haru stared at the blankets, then glanced to the window.

"Were Byakuya-sama's wounds major?"

"Iie," she answered. "A few cuts and a strained wrist. He insisted it wasn't from carrying you."

"And… Takumi?"

"Hajime reported that he was still unconscious, but he thinks that his friend is strong enough to pull through. At this point, I can't say whether that is blind optimism or a statement he has true faith in."

"What are we without hope?" Haru countered. Unohana couldn't argue with her statement. "And me? How long will I be here?" She gazed at Unohana for a moment, who folded her hands and rounded the bed, gazing at the fluid for a moment and noticing that the bag was nearly empty. After asking Haru to recline, she gently removed the needle from her arm, causing Haru to expel a displeased hiss, and proceeded to bandage her elbow in such a way that put pressure on the small puncture wound.

"If you feel up to it, you can leave tonight."

"Really?"

"Your wounds were serious, Haru-sama, but they will heal quickly in the right environment." Something about her tone notified Haru that Unohana wasn't just referring to the cuts in her flesh. "I'll leave the room so you can get dressed and notify Byakuya-sama that you'll be down in a bit."

"Unohana-taichou," she said, causing the captain to turn back just as she got to the door. "Ano… since I'm a captain now, would it… would it be too terribly personal if I called you Retsu-san?"

"Not at all," she answered, smiling in her usual way before passing out of the room. With a sigh of relief, Haru dropped back onto the pillow, perceiving dimly her hunger and the ache in her muscles. After a moment of composing herself, she pulled her uniform on, foregoing the gloves due to the amount of bandage around her arms and tucking these away in her haori. She touched her upper arm out of curiosity, wondering why they were bandaged, and the pain that raced across her skin when she did so deterred any further examination. Standing was difficult, as the wound that ran from her thigh to her hip had still not had time to set entirely. Having finally attained a level of decency, Haru collapsed on the bed, hunching over as she drew hasty breaths. _Why is she letting me leave like this? Even I know that there is some distance between here and Byakuya-sama's manor. I shouldn't be walking across the room, let alone to his home. Then why… _

A smile fluttered across her face. That man's impatience was inexorable, not to mention troublesome. After pulling her captain's haori on and tying the sash around her waist, she retrieved her phone and leaned against the bed, flipping the screen open.

Fourteen missed calls, all from Shinji. She should have known. She didn't even bother listening to the voice mails as she deleted them because they all likely said the same thing. Having broken her promise, she had no choice but to call him now. She pressed the phone to her ear and expected at least one full ring before it was answered, but halfway through the first, an irate voice on the other end of the line began demanding exactly why she wasn't taking it easy, as he knew she was still carrying wounds from her last encounter with an espada, let alone giving him the proper farewell he was promised. Haru held the phone at an arm's length as his rant continued and finally interjected with a calm and desolate, "Shinji." He knew that tone well enough to know that something was wrong, but he was so irritated that he continued for another half a minute before even acknowledging her need to speak.

"What do ya have to say for yerself, hmm?" he demanded.

"I'm sorry." The line went entirely silent for a prolonged moment, until Haru spoke again. "I didn't mean to leave without saying good-bye. Honestly, it wasn't my intention, but certain circumstances necessitated my immediate return to Soul Society, circumstances I could not in good conscience overlook."

"What circumstances?"

"It was a hollow attack, a major one. Two espada and a small army of vasto lorde, all against two members of my division and the upper seats of the sixth. Considering that, I couldn't merely turn a blind eye."

"All the more reason to stay quiet! What the hell was going through that head of yers, Haru-sama? What would possess ya to march right back and join the fray?"

"I wasn't about to let them sever the strongest links I have to Soul Society, not knowing full well that Aizen had and may still have some twisted plot to turn me into my mother and set me loose on a killing spree." She noted that Shinji was suddenly quiet, a thought that disturbed her more than she thought it would. "Shinji…"

"What did ya do?" Haru paused and let her eyes fall to the floor, taking a difficult breath before giving him the same answer she had given Unohana in no less than a whisper.

"I did what I had to." Her fingers trembled, and she waited for him to say something, but she suspected that he was waiting for her as well. Maybe he was hesitant to speak, having discerned the course of events. Maybe he was infuriated beyond all reason at the recklessness of her actions. Maybe, just maybe, he was afraid that what he might say would leave another scar in her soul, but the silence told her nothing. She crossed the room and lifted the ring from the table, feeling its cool surface bite into the flesh of her hand. Then, quietly, she murmured into the receiver, "What else do you want me to say, Shinji?"

"Betsuni," he answered.

"Fair enough." Haru felt a little like crying at his reticence. It wasn't normal for him to give such a terse answer. "I'll be returning for my violin sometime soon. I'll give you your farewell then, alright?" He made no sound of acknowledgement, and the hand holding the phone slowly dropped so she could see the screen. Her thumb lingered on the button that would disconnect them. She waited, and the moment before she struck it, she heard her name on the other end.

"Haru." She lifted it just as slowly to her ear.

"What is it?" He swore loudly into the phone, but when she asked why he had, he gave no explanation other than his own foolishness.

"Anyway," he responded, "I was just gonna remind you to take care of yerself. I may not show it much, but I do worry about ya. Taking on that many hollow in one day, then having the strength to be conscious, let alone call me, is truly miraculous. I suppose you'll be spending the night in the infirmary?"

"Iie… Retsu-san gave me permission to leave if I wanted to, and I feel up to it, so…"

"Baka," he retorted. "Don't push yerself, not for that noble you've sank your hooks into…"

"Don't say it like that!" Haru responded with a bit more force than she had intended. Silence again, followed by an amused laugh that inflamed her cheeks and made her stammer further objections.

"Yeah, yeah… say what you want. Anyway, the wedding's gotta be soon, beings you've been sleeping together for what… four months now?"

"Shinji-san…"

"Just tell him to take it easy with ya tonight. Otherwise, I'll come there and personally kick his royal ass."

"I told you before, it's not like that! And he wouldn't…"

"Hai, hai… I hear ya. No need to shout. I'm right here."

"You know bloody damn well why I feel the need to shout."

"Don't deny so strongly, Haru-sama… it's suspicious."

"Damn it, Shinji! I've said it before, and I'll say it again! Quit bending the context, or I'll crack your damn skull open!" She imagined him scratching his ear nonchalantly before continuing.

"Well, you've got to like it at least a little bit. Otherwise, you wouldn't keep going back for more of the same…"

"I'm hanging up!" Haru shut her phone and tucked it inside her haori, pausing to smile. "Baka," she muttered, fastening the clasp of the chain behind her neck and then extracting her hair. Once it was out of sight, she retrieved her seele and her zanpakutoh, tucked them on opposite sides of her obi, and proceeded with calm, gradual footsteps down the stairs. _It's nice to hear him act normal for a change. Still, does he have to say things like that? _She pressed a hand against her face. It felt warm, probably because she was still blushing. Haru paused as she reached for the door of the waiting room, then hesitated. Just now, she imagined she had heard her name from within. Curious, she pushed it open slightly and leaned her ear against it, catching the end of a sentence and those that followed.

"…never be too careful."

"What you are proposing, Hitsugaya-taichou, is absurd."

"Then what proof can you offer that that is actually Haru?"

"None whatsoever," Byakuya calmly replied.

"Can you even explain her presence, Unohana-taichou?"

"I'll admit it is a bit strange… she doesn't seem to be emitting any reiatsu, but you say she released her zanpakutoh and even utilized it to fight the hollow that descended." The room fell into an uneasy quiet, wherein each captain became consumed by their own personal thoughts on the matter. Unohana's mind fell to the alteration in the mark on Haru's back, Byakuya's fell to his personal concern for the girl, as well as his need to maintain professionalism in light of this new doubt, and Hitsugaya, the child prodigy, tried to conjure up some reason for not being able to feel Haru's reiatsu despite her going to such lengths with it. Having found no suitable answer yet, he nearly rejected the possibility that it was Haru, but those eyes could not be replicated by any illusory technique.

"What are we going to do? It doesn't make sense…"

"Perhaps the reason you can't feel my reiatsu is the same reason you can't feel those of the hollow." He peered towards the door, which was open only a crack but which slid open to reveal the subject of their discussion standing near its frame, her eyes glimmering with some sort of thought. "Gomenasai. I couldn't help but overhear, and I hope you don't think I was eavesdropping, but the matter has been on my mind lately… that since I came back from Hueco Mundo, no one can feel my reiatsu, and stranger still is the fact that I can feel the reiatsu of the hollow."

"You can feel them?" Hitsugaya stammered.

"Hai," she answered, "but only since I got back. Before I left, I was using reishi to track their entry. The hollow didn't notice my reentry because I decreased my reiatsu to a barely perceptible level and assumed that the shinigami would not notice the disturbance until I released my zanpakutoh, but it seems that there's something more to the matter entirely. Otherwise, I guarantee you that someone would have felt it." A troubled note crept into her voice as she folded her arms and leaned against the door's frame, bowing her head to consider the matter for a moment.

"Perhaps what's interfering with our perception of the hollow, then, is not in Soul Society at all as we first thought, but in Hueco Mundo." Hitsugaya's voice trailed off, and he glanced to Unohana. "If you have a sample of Haru's blood, then consider send it to the twelfth division. Maybe an analysis will tell us something."

"Would it be alright if I did so, Haru-sama?" She glanced towards Unohana and nodded.

"Is something troubling you, Haru-kun?"

"Iie," she answered, smiling and waving her hands and trying with little success to shake off Shinji's prior statements. "Betsuni. I'm just tired is all."

"Then why are you blushing?" Immediately, her arms stopped moving, and a helpless smile came over her face. After a brief pause, she continued her initial gesture of denial.

"I… I'm not blushing…"

"And now, you are lying."

"I… iie… I'm not…" Haru smiled and stretched so her arms were behind her head. She would have laughed it off, but she considered the fact that it would hurt too much, so even though her joints ached more than she could tell, she put on a ruse of placidity. Byakuya's brow twitched once, and surprisingly enough, he did not object to her false sense of security. He merely bided his time, waiting until she was absolutely certain of herself, before uttering the single phrase that seemed to bring the entire world to a standstill.

"Sukidayo." Haru didn't react initially, partly because she had convinced herself that she was at ease and partly because she was too busy trying to discern whether or not he had actually said that in front of not one but two other captains. Judging from the look of pure shock on Hitsugaya's face and the accompanying smile from Unohana, she couldn't avoid the weight of reality for long. They barely saw her as she rushed across the room, closing the distance between herself and Byakuya immediately. She ignored the satisfied look on his face and securely gripped his scarf before dragging him across the room, robbing him momentarily of his dignified poise and causing him to stumble more than once. "Haru-kun…"

"Urusai. You've said enough."

"Haru-kun…"

"Urusai!" she repeated, this time with slightly more force. Hitsugaya watched the whole spectacle play out dubiously, as he could no longer doubt that he had heard things.

"Byakuya-sama, you'll remember to bring her back if she shows any signs of deterioration," Unohana shouted after them. "Though… somehow, I doubt she will."

"I had no idea things had gotten that serious between them," Hitsugaya retorted. Unohana smiled and folded her hands. "What are you so happy about?"

"Byakuya-sama curbs the greater part of Haru-sama's temper, and Haru-sama jeopardizes Byakuya-sama's perpetual apathy."

"And that's a reason to be happy?"

Unohana shrugged. "They're happy, aren't they?" That answer, simple as it was, made him think about Hinamori, whom he had heard was helping Hajime treat the wounds of Fujiwara Takumi, now the official vice captain of the fifth division. Her words followed him all the way back to his dwelling, where they haunted him into stopping just short of entering.

_One or both of them could die tomorrow, the future is so uncertain these days. Still…_ Hitsugaya considered several encounters with Takumi, all of which he deemed somewhat unpleasant as he always felt the vague sensation of being watched on a level that went beyond the eyes. He had been so quick to rescue Hinamori from even the most minor of injuries. Back then, he had saved her from the adverse effects of gravity, a fall from a low height that probably wouldn't have caused more than a bruise. Today, he had saved her life. He couldn't say he hated that since he wanted his childhood companion to keep living. _He seems so certain of everything. I don't understand him. I don't understand what she sees in him, but I suppose… _He smiled and pressed his head against the door, bowing his head to achieve solitude with his thoughts for a moment. A set of words drifted through his mind, one that seemed to fit both the nobles and Hinamori's budding relationship with the vice captain who had, by all rights, usurped her seat of power. The truth was undeniably set before him, and in order to conclude the matter, he said to himself, _They're happy, aren't they?_

* * *

><p>"Haru-kun…"<p>

"I don't want to hear it."

"If you are going to lead me around, then at least be gentle enough not to choke me."

"It's no less than you deserve." He stumbled again as she gave a particularly vehement tug on the garment she had yet to show signs of letting go of.

"Though under normal circumstances, I am confident of this scarf's craft, I must ask you not to pull so hard, or else it may tear." Byakuya studied her for a moment as she continued making hasty steps in some indeterminate direction. Then, in a rare turn of events, he let himself smile. "Haru-kun…"

"I told you before, I don't want to hear it."

"I was merely going to point out that the manor lies in the opposite direction." Byakuya stumbled into her because she stopped without warning, then took several steps back. Her fingers loosened and gradually fell away. She wouldn't give him the pleasure of seeing her face, not while she was in that frame of mind. Breathless, she raised her eyes to the neat rows of buildings surrounding her, all snow-covered. The mists of her respiration rose around her as she turned first to one side, then to the other, and finally bowed her head in defeat. "Are you lost?" Haru, unable to take it any longer, turned to him, then gave him a vehement nod. "Perhaps I should lead." Another nod. This time, they moved at a slower pace, one that would not exhaust Haru. The sun was beginning to set, and the moon, which lingered above them in a nearly full orb, caused their surroundings to glisten with a faint, silvery light. Haru reflected on them for a moment and peered briefly to Byakuya, whose obsidian hair shone with that same light and whose eyes were full of the fading embers of satisfaction. A chilly wind swept past her, reminding her that she no longer had anything to protect her arms from the cold, and she moved closer to Byakuya, entwining his arm in hers. He glanced down at her before looking back to the road.

"Is it the first snow?" He glanced at Haru and delivered an affirmative nod. "When did it fall?"

"Early this morning."

"Souka," Haru murmured. They treaded on in silence. She was afraid to say anything else, not wanting to shatter the peace that surrounded them. The scenery was so delicate, she was afraid it might break into a thousand pieces, and she would reawaken in that hell hole she had only just managed to crawl out of. The memory of her body moving with the intent to kill made her clutch his arm tighter. Again, he briefly looked at her.

"Your hair is shorter." Disheartened, her violet eyes dropped to the ground. The snow muffled their steps, but it somehow failed to deaden the dread that arose from that subject.

"Do… do you dislike it?" He stepped in front of her momentarily, taking a lock between his fingers and scrutinizing it, both with his eyes and his touch.

"Iie," he said after a moment. "It suits you. Besides, it means I must get closer to do this." Before Haru could even think of objecting, his cheek was pressed against hers, and his lips rested against the hair between his fingers. Her breath caught in her lungs twice, once when he lingered, and once more when he drew away because of the undeniable glimmer of grief in his eyes. "Have you forgotten your feelings, Haru-kun?"

"Iie."

"You seem angry."

"Only because you purposefully did that to embarrass me."

"I thought saying such things would make you happy."

"It does," she answered, and immediately made the addendum of, "when we're in private." A troubled look crossed his face. "Nandesuka?"

"I have been thinking… that it would be better to make our relationship known."

"Byakuya-sama…"

"Before you begin lecturing me about the consequences, or about displaying my abundant affections for you publicly, know that I have considered already what the effects may be on my honor. I will refrain from doing any more than I already have. Occurrences such as today, while I cannot promise they will never happen again, will be reserved for highly exceptional occasions, such as your coming back to life." Byakuya waited for her to say something, but she remained silent and reserved comment. "If you object to this, Haru-kun, then say so." Her arms slipped away from his, causing him to turn and peer at her questioningly, but her eyes avoided his. The moonlight played on her features in such a way that he was rather unfamiliar with, and as he gazed at her, he realized that her mind was elsewhere at the moment. Her courage faltered for a moment, then she closed her fist, and the vivid shimmer of her eyes disappeared entirely.

"A long time ago, I was saved from death… by the interference of a hollow, and ever since that day, I have made it my mission in life to see past every line, even those that are supposedly so concrete that they cannot be bent or broken. It was seven years ago, and because of him, I have lived seven years of borrowed time in perfect contentment… other than the weight of solitude. Seven years… what he has become, and what I have become… by all rights, we should despise each other and desire nothing more than our mutual destruction, yet even after all of this, I feel I owe him some form of recompense for every hour I've freely lived since that day. Because of him, it was by choice that I returned to the Yamashita clan and by choice that I agreed to be its nineteenth leader, and it was because of him… that I was given any chance to escape from Hueco Mundo at all. Seven years, and we're still locked in this perpetual cycle of saving one another, as if not a single day has passed, and as if our high ranks are devoid of all meaning." Haru gazed at the shadows on the snow. Her own stretched towards Byakuya's, just barely avoiding direct contact.

"Why are you telling me this now, Haru-kun?"

"Because it is a truth I feel you should consider, an unshakable belief that I hold dearer than my own life. It is part of my pride, the payment of debts, no matter whom I owe them to. If the day ever comes to return the time he has given me, then I will see it done. Whatever cost I endure, whatever sacrifice I make… it will be entirely irrelevant. However…" Haru folded her arms and turned her head sideways. "I will not drag you down with me, Byakuya-sama." She quivered slightly, mostly because of the cold, but partly because she felt as if the ground would cave under her feet any moment. "If I had remembered back then, I wouldn't have let things proceed as they had. I… I'm sorry." The desolation crept into her features, but she still held back. Some part of her nobility wouldn't let her succumb so easily to her emotions, no matter how strong they were rooted within her. "You… should leave me."

Stunned more by her final words than by the remainder of what she had revealed, Byakuya stared at her, spotting every sign of her weakness and hesitation. He wavered for a moment with indecision, then dared to ask the question that would officiate the end of the matter. "Is that what you truly desire?" Haru whirled to him, looking half outraged at his persistence, and one glance was all it took to alter her expression to something truer than her false strength. She sunk to her knees while the tears she held back sprang free and her head sunk into a bow. The fingers resting on her knees flexed, then curled with determination.

"Iie…" she murmured. "I… I can't wish for that now."

"Nande?" Haru glanced up at him and wiped her face. He had turned to face her now, and had taken one stride forward so that their shadows touched. Calmly, he shut his eyes. "I want to hear you say it, Yamashita Haru." The sound of her name was sweeter than any welcome she could have asked for. As she let it echo in her mind, she smiled despite her tears and bolted forward, throwing her arms around his neck and relishing the distantly familiar feeling of the scarf and of his heart beating next to hers. His arms remained motionless at his sides for the moment, until Haru placed her lips near his ear and murmured, in a soft yet certain tone, the answer he had requested in a form that he was not familiar with.

"Aishiteru…" Haru felt the shudder pass through his body. Suddenly wanting to see his face, she drew back and pressed one hand against it, reading the blatant shock in his eyes. "Aishiteru, Kuchiki Byakuya." It took a moment for his mind to catch up with everything else, but when it did, a sort of clarity flickered in his eyes, and he pressed a hand against the one resting beside his face. With a sigh, he pulled it away, keeping it clasped in his own.

"Let's go home, Haru-kun." Her eyes lit up and she gave him a quick affirmative before they set off again, leaving the silent witness of the snow, which their dialogue had little disturbed, with only the faint imprints of their movements.

* * *

><p>They ate together in satisfied silence, exchanging glances occasionally over the food. Knowing that Haru hadn't eaten anything that day, Byakuya refrained from using words until her appetite seemed satisfied and the chill seemed to flee from her bones as if pursued by Suzaku's flames. As she sipped her tea, she shut her eyes and fumbled for a moment with the joy it had once brought her. It came back in a rush. A smile spread across her face, and she inhaled the steam rising from her cup. "You seem happy, Haru-kun," Byakuya commented.<p>

"To say the least. I had forgotten how nice it was… simple pleasures like a cup of tea taken with a solitary companion." She studied her reflection briefly, then glanced up at him. "You have more you wish to say."

"How can you tell?"

"I just can," she answered with a cryptic half-smile. "There is very little you could do to offend me right now, Byakuya-sama."

"I am less concerned about offending you than I am about ruining the mood." Haru tilted her head in inquiry, watching as he set his chopsticks down calmly and stared straight into her eyes. "Earlier, you spoke of a hollow… who saved you and whom you have also saved. I am merely curious as to why you feel obligated to him."

"I told you before, it's part of my pride."

"Is that all it is?" She discerned the insinuation behind his words and set her tea down.

"Well, now I am offended."

"Then I apologize…"

"Don't bother," Haru answered, pressing a hand to her head. "Look, it's kind of hard to explain exactly what I feel for that hollow, beings our connection is so convoluted. In one sense, it's gratitude that drives me to it, and in another, it's my own pride, and maybe somewhere between lies the slightest feeling of kinship, the same feeling I have for Kurosaki Ichigo and the vizard, because like me, and like them, he has ascended to a position in which he must walk a fine line between a barrier that most think should never be crossed. That's all it is." She tilted her cup and studied her reflection for a moment, seeing the faint flames in her eyes dying out. For something like that, she couldn't possibly stay mad at him for longer than she had.

"I wish to know how it began, if you would not mind sharing it with me."

"Not at all."

"You do not have to tell me now, Haru-kun. Speak, but only if you feel the time is right." Haru's head sank, and the nutmeg locks fell over her eyes. Seeing the burden weighing her down, Byakuya began to rise but was stopped by her insistence that she was fine. He returned to his original position and folded his hands, detecting the veracity of her words.

"I wasn't always as strong as I am now, or if I was, I couldn't use my strength in the same way. I was still growing into my power when some hollow attacked. It was night, and as was the case when I first met you, I didn't have the stamina to deal with so many at once. I was without my sword and bleeding, as good as dead, and just when I thought I was finished, he..." Her voice trailed off as she recalled those animalistic steel eyes glaring out of the darkness, eyes that practically told her to get up and keep fighting. She recalled the sound of hollow blood dripping from his jaws, remembered the low growl that came out of them... she touched the place where her wound had been, a place where she was wounded yet again. "I recognized him. I had seen him once before, outside of Urahara's shop, and when he asked if there was anything there, I liked so he wouldn't be killed." She glanced up at Byakuya just to make sure he was listening. His glance met hers, comforted her, and she let herself smile, for she found some warmth in that dark memory. "For seven years, I didn't see him. I forgot about the matter altogether until I was in Hueco Mundo. He looked after me there, too. When Aizen drugged me, when Szayel-san tried to trick me, when Nnoitora-san came close to killing me… it didn't matter what trouble I got myself into. He ensured my safety when I could not even ensure my own. Stripped of Suzaku, of everything I wanted to protect… I came so close to giving up. The conditions there are not very favorable to someone as sensitive to reishi as I am, but he did what he could. Still, there were things he couldn't protect me from."

"And I presume," Byakuya said after a moment of silence, "that for that reason, you were incapable of returning to Soul Society."

"Hai," she answered. "The wounds I received during my escape were of a very serious nature. To top it all off, I was poisoned, probably by the blood of the small army I cut down to get out. I was then assailed by the cuatra espada, and, as you can expect, being limited to a ten percent output in an unfamiliar environment does not exactly generate the most promising conditions to endure that level of power."

"Then how did you escape?" Haru folded her hands and sighed with difficulty, then returned her eyes to his.

"It was a close call, but I managed to manipulate the spirit particles and my own reiatsu in such a way… to generate a temporary gap in dimensions. I believe you know it as garganta." She shifted her eyes for a moment, then leaned back with a slight stretch. "You look surprised."

"Somehow, I believe I should not be, knowing what you are capable of already." She received his statement as a compliment and bowed her head in gratitude. "Interesting, indeed, that you are capable of replicating garganta and can feel the reiatsu of the hollow… I am not entirely sure what I think of it. However, I know that whatever I think will not change the way I feel about you." A different sort of smile flickered across her face, and she folded her hands in her lap.

"That is why I my feelings for you run so strongly, because you embrace the light and the shadow within me. It makes me happy, to see you look at me that way."

"Are you content with just a look, Haru-kun?" She glanced at him questioningly, then, catching the glint in his eyes, felt a faint fire racing across her cheeks. Still, she didn't move to shield them from sight, though she dropped her eyes to her lap as a smile crept over her expression, a tacit agreement that on that night, they should spend no moment apart. As was the case in the past, she couldn't really wonder how she wound up enduring the steady strokes of a cloth across the flesh of her back, nor could she muse over how they were now sitting directly across from each other, separated only by a curtain of steam and a concise distance that could easily be crossed, because it was exactly what she wanted. Haru hissed a bit when the hot water first touched her wounds, but she relaxed once the sting went away. She leaned back her head for a moment and sighed in contentment, but then she felt Byakuya's gaze devouring her inquisitively, almost fretfully.

"Is something wrong?"

"Iie," he answered. In truth, he hadn't expected the extent of her wounds to be so vast. He tried to swallow his concern, tried to ignore the scathes in her skin, but his eyes kept returning to them and to the faint circular imprints looping around her upper arms.

"Relax," she murmured, detecting his anxiety. "This is a bath. It's what they're for." Byakuya stirred slightly, then settled, leaning his head back in much the same way she had, watching the steam arch through the air in its peculiar pattern. "This feels nice." He made a sound of agreement, and silence settled between them again. "Byakuya-sama…"

"Hmm?"

"When you were washing my back, did you notice anything peculiar?"

"I am not entirely sure of your meaning."

"Has it changed at all?" she asked.

"I didn't look."

"How the hell could you not look?" Haru stammered. "It was right there in front of you…"

"Perhaps I was distracted by other things, such as the pleasure of your company."

"Then I am not the only terrible liar here." Haru's eyes accused him, but he didn't divert his gaze. "You were more concerned about hurting me, weren't you?"

"What would give you that idea?"

"For one thing, you keep staring at this wound." Haru pointed to the one in her shoulder while continuing to peer at him. "The one across my hip is a lot worse. Of course, I'm still carrying the wound I got from Ulquiorra-san, and the fact that Nnoitora-san cut me in almost exactly the same spot doesn't exactly help matters. Honestly…" She heaved a sigh and leaned back again. "If you were so concerned for my wellbeing, why did you suggest this?"

"Because a look was not enough," Byakuya stated. She stared at him until he leaned back again. Soon after, she resumed her own relaxed position. "So, how was it?"

"Heavenly, as usual." She grinned at the sound of him slipping, something that was highly unusual for a man with as much poise as Kuchiki Byakuya. Haru watched him resurface and didn't bother to stop herself from laughing when he irately pushed his unruly hair, now laden with the additional weight of water, away from his eyes. Even more amusing was the faint traces of embarrassment in his cheeks.

"I do not understand what is so funny."

"Betsuni, betsuni," she reassured him, waving her hand nonchalantly as she shut her eyes and leaned back again. Slowly, the joy faded from her face, and a troubled expression worked across her features. "It's strange…"

"Hmm?"

"I've been gone for almost a month, and that month felt like an eternity, but now that I'm back, it feels like I never even left." Byakuya stared at the water for a moment, watching the light play off of its surface before shifting his gaze to Haru. "If I'm talking too much, then just say so."

"Iie… it isn't that."

"Then what?"

"I am only admiring." Haru smiled and sank until she was entirely submerged, then surfaced only far enough to breathe.

_This really is nice, _she admitted to herself. _Right now, in this moment, I don't have to worry about dying. I feel like my mind has been emptied of all troubles, if only just for this one night. _She thought briefly of her vice captain, then reassured herself that he would be fine. Besides, she didn't want to spoil the mood, either. She surfaced with a slight toss of her head, then began ringing the water out of the ends of her hair.

"Haru-kun…"

"Don't think I'm tired of you already," she said. "It's just… if I don't start bandaging them now, we won't get any sleep. If it wouldn't be too much trouble, do you think you could help me with the ones I can't get myself?"

"Of course." Haru reflected momentarily on how strange it was that the exchange of words felt so natural. Then, with a satisfied smile, she turned and ascended, pausing to peer back at Byakuya to find that, as expected, he was busy examining her back. She took the opportunity to wrap herself in a dry towel, making sure it dipped low enough in the back for him to continue his scrutiny.

"Is it… is it really different?" Her inquiry caused his eyes to rise. Through the steam, she noticed a the ghost of a smile playing at his lips. "Can you tell me what it looks like?"

"Beautiful, as always."

"That isn't what I meant!" she said vehemently. Amused by her anger, he bent his head in careful consideration. Sighing, she shook her head and withdrew, drying herself thoroughly before beginning the rigorous, painstaking task of wrapping the wound in her leg and hip. Once she had achieved that, she had no sooner lifted her yukata from the floor when she felt a digit dragging slowly across her flesh in such a manner that scattered every aim in her mind. "Byakuya-sama…"

"A cross," he stated as his finger continued to wander. Another soon joined it, arching across her back in a slow wave that caused her breath to hitch. Somehow, she maintained enough attention to process his continuation of the description she had earlier requested. "Indigo as it has always been, not made of one solid line but by countless smaller curved ones intertwined. They weave together like threads, but they also seem to flow, like water or liquid fire." Up until that point, she had managed to focus, but when his fingers began moving again, her entire body shuttered, and she nearly lost her balance. After a moment, he withdrew, causing Haru to look questioningly over her shoulder. "And also, on either side…" He paused and pressed both palms against her flesh, causing her to elicit a sound much like the one he had on their last night together. A slight smirk passed over his expression, and then he leaned forward until his mouth was mere centimeters from her ear. "Spread outward… as if you were flying towards the sun… a pair of wings."

"Wings?" she stammered, biting her lip as his hands slid downward.

"Hai… not white, but the kind of bluish-silver that only the moon can bestow upon fresh snow." With that definitive conclusion, he withdrew, gently lifting the back of her yukata over her shoulders. "Tie it, and I will take care of your wounds. Then, we will get some rest." Haru blinked and closed the garment around her. Though she did as he asked, her fingers faltered several times before they would finally cooperate. Under normal circumstances, she would have relished its soft surface, but the fabric seemed so course in comparison with what she had just felt that she immediately craved more of his touch.

And she was not disappointed, because Haru was soon enduring the painstaking process of having her shoulder wound in bandages. The task was carried out by Byakuya with more care than he would give the finest china, and as he fulfilled it, Haru rested her head against his shoulder. It made the work a bit more difficult, but he had no reason to object. Once he was finished, he rewrapped each arm in turn, gazing at the faint ring-like impressions around them but refraining from asking any questions. After rearranging her sleeping garment, he murmured that he was finally done and received no answer but a faint sigh against his neck. "You went ahead of me," he retorted, sliding one arm under her knees and lifting her with slight difficulty. Something metal struck the ground, causing him to pause in his task and slowly lower her again. The object had fallen from her hand with the sort of jingle that rain makes. Curious, he took it between his fingers and peered at it with a mixture of anxiety and elation.

_She kept it… all this time? Even though she lost her glasses, her hair, and almost her life, she managed to keep track of this? _The weight of that realization caused him to bow his head, but only for a moment. With the ring still pressed securely against his palm, he carried Haru towards the room that had of late been so restless, but tonight… tonight, he was ensured a good sleep because she would be sleeping beside him, and that aside, the night seemed much less imposing when he wasn't alone.

* * *

><p>Merry Fluffmas to everyone! I hope the chapter was to everyone's liking! I don't really have much of an endnote, but I do have... a Japanese lesson!<p>

Nande: Why

Baka: Idiot, stupid

Iie: No

Nani: What

Hai: Yes

Ano: Japanese equivalent of "um."

Arigato: Thanks

Betsuni: Nothing

Gomenasai: Formal apology

Sukidayo: One of the many expressions of affection, usually translated as "I like you."

Urusai: Shut up

Souka: I see

Nandesuka: What is it?

Aishiteru: A much stronger expression of affection, often translated as "I love you." Internet research one told me that this wasn't used very frequently, but internet research could be wrong. The internet lies sometimes. It is a fact we must all cope with.

My thanks goes out to the audience yet again! Without you, the story would not have gone on. Until next chapter! :)


	8. Chapter 8: Promotion

A/N: As promised, I am back, though later than I would like to have been. Stupid allergies... or head cold... or whatever is suffocating me. _' At any rate, I have another chapter for all of my devoted readers (Hooray for procrastinating on paperwork!) and hope that you all find it enjoyable. ^_^ Kudos to all my lovely reviewers, especially to those who power-read the entire saga: Juliedoo, BooBoo, animelover56348 (whom I have apparently brought back from the dead), DisillusionedNight (to whom I apologize deeply for causing a loss of sleep), ThorongilAnime, Almathia, La Nuit Noire, and peanutbutterthedog. Wow, guys... eight reviews in seven days. You are all epic! =)

And now, without further ado, I give you all...

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 8: Promotion<em>

The bitter cold assailed her from every angle, and with each passing step, Haru wished she was back in bed, entwined in Byakuya's arms and nestled against his chest, but that morning, something was definitely awry. She had awakened early to a faint knock on the bedroom door, which was unusual in itself. After rubbing the sleep away from her eyes, she had opened it to find Keiji, who delivered a hasty apology for disturbing her and extended a hand with a hell butterfly perched on it. She half-heard the words of the message it carried her. The one that caused her to act was the word "urgent," which was almost a postscript. Her brows knit together, and she slid out of the room, closing the door gently behind her.

"Haru-sama…"

"Let him sleep," she answered. "Besides, this is official business. If you could let him know that I left to take care of it, then I would greatly appreciate it."

"Hai," he answered with a bow. Haru proceeded to dress and depart, taking hasty strides through the snow and ignoring the stiff feeling in her muscles. She couldn't even remember falling asleep any more than she could remember replacing the ring around her neck. It glistened with every step she took in the faint light of the sun that was now beginning to rise. Her feet fell against the snow, steps filled with purpose and determination. She prepared herself for the worst as she crossed the threshold of the infirmary and proceeded to remove her sandals.

"That was quick."

"Iie," she stated. "I needed to be. You said it was urgent, Hajime, and I can only assume it has something to do with my vice captain." She stood and peered at him, noticing how exhausted he looked. Had he even gotten any sleep? She half considered asking him, but she saw that the concern in his face ran much deeper than her own and dropped her gaze.

"Are your wounds feeling any better?"

"Well enough, at any rate," she answered. "My shoulder still hurts, and my leg is still pretty precarious. Other than that, every muscle in my body feels stiff because I didn't get much of an opportunity to move last night after I took a bath."

"I have something that may help." He dug first in one sleeve, then in the other, and after a few moments, he recovered what he had been looking for and handed it to her. "It isn't a pain killer. It stimulates the reiatsu and blood flow around your wounds to create a more conducive healing environment within the body. You should put it in tea or something, because it's a bit bitter. Take three drops just before you go to bed."

"Hai."

"About Takumi…" Hajime peered at her for a moment, looking grimmer than ever. "He wants to see you."

"He's awake?"

"It took a lot of effort. Hinamori-san helped me, and it took us most of the night just to get him stabilized, but he woke up a lot sooner than we thought and immediately demanded to know how you were doing without any explanation whatsoever. I tried telling him that you were probably still sleeping off your own injuries and that we don't normally let people in to visit patients this early, but he said it was important, urgent even, that he speak to you immediately."

"I understand," she said, bowing her head under the weight of her relief.

"Yamashita-taichou…"

"Gomen…" Haru wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and peered at Hajime again, smiling despite the tears collected n them. "I thought… I really thought… that he was going to die yesterday when I saw the kind of injury he had sustained."

"Then clearly, you don't know him well enough. Of course, it's a side he doesn't show a lot of people, so I can understand." Hajime motioned for Haru to follow him, and as she walked behind him, he continued his explanation. "Takumi has a very tenacious spirit, and even if he won't admit it, he is damn good with medicinal kidou. He healed himself enough yesterday to take down the hollow that were giving us problems, all in one blow. And he won't be proud of it, I can imagine, because he killed them all using his left eye."

"His left eye?" Haru recalled the flash of red from the day before, in which was immersed an onyx-like slit that seemed to belong to someone, or something, else entirely.

"He doesn't like discussing the matter, so don't press it. I'm afraid I can't say any more than I already have. My most sincere apologies, Yamashita-taichou.

"It's fine," Haru answered. "So long as he is alive and gives me the information I absolutely need, I don't really care what he hides."

"You seem to put a lot of faith in him."

"Perhaps I was inspired by the faith he has in me." Hajime pushed the door open and crept inside, hesitating for a moment because of what he had stumbled in upon. Haru, close behind, peered past him and saw something that made her smile, the unconscious Hinamori sitting in a chair, breathing at regular intervals. While her peace in itself was a great cause of joy for her, what truly stirred her was the intense way Takumi was gazing at her, as if his entire being was fixed on her. He continued briefly before peering towards the doorway with an expectant eye, then touched Hinamori's shoulder gently. She raised her head with a yawn and stretched, rubbing her eye with the back of her hand while peering around the room with the other.

"O… ohayogozaimasu, Yamashita-taichou."

"Ohayo," she answered.

"Gomenne… I must have nodded off…"

"It's fine," Hajime stated. "Listen… Takumi wants to have a word with his captain. I think it wise that we step out. Besides, you'll get a stiff neck, sleeping like that." Hajime led her by the shoulders because she wasn't conscious enough to lead herself. "There are some extra beds in another wing. You can take one of those, alright?"

"Hai."

"Ask her to be at the office at one. I know it isn't long. I just need someone familiar with me when I introduce myself to the fifth division." Hajime peered at Hinamori for a moment, who gave a slight nod of acknowledgment.

"Don't worry, taichou. I'll be there."

"Arigato." Hinamori was still rubbing her eyes when she passed Haru, who nodded her thanks to Hajime as he exited and shut the door behind him. She turned to Takumi, still smiling, and stood next to the window, leaning against the wall and studying him from her current position. He seemed engaged in some line of thought at the moment, so she let him finish it before inquiring about his condition.

"Your wounds…"

"Hajime says I'll be here for a day or two. He says they're healing fast as it is, but he just wants to make sure I don't get dehydrated or overdo it."

"I'm happy to hear it."

"Not as happy as I was to hear you were released yesterday," he countered, smiling faintly as he leaned back. "Considering what you did, I'm kind of surprised they didn't keep you."

"I think Byakuya-sama discussed the matter with Retsu-san, and they came to the mutual decision that it was best to send me home."

"He missed you that badly, hmm?" Haru smiled and turned crimson. As she bowed her head, the chain around her neck emitted the slightest sound of disturbance, and Takumi's eye locked on the object dangling from it. "Must've been an eventful night."

"Don't say it like that. You'll spoil the memory. Besides, you know it's nothing like that."

"That is true, and I would know it, too." Haru's eyes fell shut momentarily while several considerations made their way into her mind, the foremost being her recollection that it was her family who had given him most of the challenges in his life. She peered at him for a moment, then dropped her gaze.

"Listen, Takumi…" Something in his eye changed. Puzzled by the change in her tone, he watched her expectantly. "While I was in the human world, Ishi-nii explained… the circumstances behind your zanpakutoh." A shadow passed over his face, and he glanced away with a sigh. "For what my grandfather did to your father, and for what you suffer because of it, you have every right to hate me. It was unspeakable." He flinched at the shard of resentment in her voice. "I'm afraid all I have to offer is a simple apology, and that doesn't even begin to compensate you for what you have suffered—the physical and psychological agony, the social stigma and exclusion, the struggle against your zanpakutoh—all for nothing more than your own free will. You should hate me…" Haru's voice trailed off as she raised her eyes, contemplative and vibrant against the backdrop of the rising sun. "You should, but you don't. You follow me instead. Me… I'm everything you despise, Takumi. I'm the head of the Yamashita clan, I'm a noble in title and in blood, and I have a killing streak that surpasses all the boundaries of common decency, but despite all of that, you admire my authority. You respect in me what you seem to resent in all others, even after what the Yamashita clan did." Haru finally turned to him with an unreadable look, one that seemed a bit sympathetic but at the same time possessed innumerable undertones. "Nande?"

The way she posed the question made him smile and press a hand against the covering over his left eye. He tipped his head back, drew a breath, and then released a set of words that caused her breath to hitch. "When the skillful demon follows the sun, Suzaku's cleansing fire will rain down from heaven, and a great house will rise under the mountain." Haru whirled to him, her piercing eyes shining out of the dark, a mixture of inquiry and shock. "Surprised?" He made the assumption with certainty, almost as if he knew she would be.

"Where did you hear those words?"

"They were the last thing my old man said to Yamashita Masahiro."

"But I don't understand. Your father died before you were born, and you couldn't have possibly heard such a thing from my grandfather. He never wrote it down. He has kept those words in his mind for all these years. I don't understand…"

"What is there not to understand?" he retorted. "The Fujiwara are cursed with sight."

"Can't that be said of everyone sometimes?"

"That's not the kind of sight I'm referring to." The crystal blue surface of Takumi's open eye disappeared, and he leaned back with a long breath. "Both eyes can see what is normally seen. Only this one is cursed." He motioned to his eye patch. Underneath it, Haru could almost feel the eye lock on him. "Only this one… can see beyond what the normal eye can perceive." Haru's brows fell together, and she shook her head to signal that she still didn't understand. Even though his eyes were closed, he quickly supplied an answer. "I'm talking about phenomena."

"Phenomena?"

"Anything that has happened, is happening, or will happen. It doesn't matter if it's internal or external. I can see through to the essence of people, their hopes and fears. I can see tomorrow just as clearly as I can see a hundred years ago. The will of fate is an open book to someone who possesses the kind of sight I do, but the technique is rather taxing. If I look for too long or if I try to gaze at something I'm not supposed to see, I risk my good health, my psyche, even my own life. There are other checks on this power, too. To prevent people from using me for their own gains, we mainly speak of what we see in riddles or metaphors. To prevent the Fujiwara clan from doing the same, the one in possession of this power is forbidden to alter what he sees." Haru bowed her head in consideration, digesting the information Takumi had just given her, wondering exactly what she needed to do with it. "You don't believe me."

"Iie," Haru answered firmly. "I'm just a bit perplexed. Never in my life would I have ever guessed that such a power existed. There really are a lot of things in the world that escape logic altogether…" She paused and leaned back to consider it for a moment more. "Demo… why are you telling me all this now?"

"Because…" Takumi hesitated to gather his words, and then raised his determined eye to her. "Because I'm your vice captain."

"Is there any other reason?"

"Because my following you was fate." Haru peered at Takumi, who glanced down at his hands before continuing. "The words my father gave your grandfather were a figurative prophecy of sorts. The future can change under certain circumstances, but if he hadn't been sure, he wouldn't have said anything. I've been told that's the kind of man my father was, a man of certainty. I was destined to inherit Akumashoku and to follow you."

"Did you know that when we first met?"

"Iie," Takumi answered. "I'm ashamed to say… that I hated you without knowing why when we first met. When I heard you were a Yamashita, I didn't know what to do. Then, Shimori died, and we bumped into each other out there. You showed me the one thing I can't stand: a woman's tears. Then, I knew that I couldn't hate you, even if Akumashoku constantly goaded me to remember my old feelings, because I had caught a glimpse of the person you really are. You had the resolve to throw your own life away just to save that of a mere student who already knew that life would not be kind to him. I decided that was the kind of captain I wanted to follow. Then, I heard those words the night before I took my final exams. I couldn't sleep after that. They devoured me entirely."

"But you passed the exam."

"Only by a hair," he admitted, scratching his nose with a grin. "My good standing came from the practicals, not the written portion. They almost threw me out, right in the middle of it, because I started using my scrap paper to write it out, and when it hit me, I wound up tipping my chair over and causing a bit of a stir." Haru would have been horrified if anything that catastrophic had occurred during her academic career, but it was obviously a good memory for Takumi. He gave a slight laugh that ended with a slight cough and a wince that indicated his obvious discomfort.

"Then what does it mean?" Takumi peered at her thoughtfully, then grinned.

"It's about us."

"Eh?"

"When the skillful demon follows the sun, Suzaku's cleansing fire will rain down from heaven, and a great house will rise under the mountain." Takumi traced kanji with his finger on the bed, leaving a faint imprint that was barely legible. He first etched his own name, then the characters for demon, followed by her given and family names. "The way my name is written means skillful, and my zanpakutoh's name involves the character for demon. Your own zanpakutoh carries the name of Suzaku, and as for your name…"

"Yamashita means under the mountain, and Haru, the way my father wrote it, means sun." Unsteadily, Haru walked to the chair Hinamori had been sitting in and collapsed in it. A myriad of thoughts ran through her mind, one after the other. She said nothing for a time; she simply gazed at her own hands as she tried vainly to catch up with her thoughts. At last, she pressed one to her head and leaned back to gaze at the ceiling. "I'll be damned," she stated. "No wonder ojii-sama was so surprised when I said I would just ask Takumi when I got back."

"You made the right decision… in becoming the head of your family, Yamashita-taichou." Catching the trace of uncertainty in his voice, Haru returned her eyes to him and questioned him with her gaze. "Just because I see something doesn't mean it's actually going to happen. It isn't foolproof. That aside, you are a very special case."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because the day you escaped from Hueco Mundo, I saw you die." Haru stiffened at his words, chilling yet entirely believable. "I was so sure you had that I told Momo-san that you had. Byakuya overheard, and he told the rest of Soul Society even though he doesn't believe in my peculiar ability. I ignored the urge to seek you out again because I was afraid that I would find nothing, but the truth has a way of presenting itself sometimes." Takumi grinned and touched Haru's shoulder, causing her to glance up at him hastily. "You are very special, Yamashita-taichou. There have been rare instances of children being born to a quincy and shinigami in the past, but their power is much more definitive. It doesn't hug the line like yours does. And besides…" Something luminous dragged across his right eye, something that she wasn't entirely familiar with. The fingers on her shoulder tightened as his eyes grew more intense. "Of all the people I have ever met, you are the only one who can defy fate without consequence." The prospect made her shudder, as did the undeniably determined look in his visible eye. He smiled with confidence while silently analyzing her. With each passing second, the atmosphere grew more unbearable until it was shattered by the sound of the door sliding open. They both turned to it, finding Hajime standing in the doorway, carrying a tray that contained a sizeable spread of food.

"Gomenasai. I hope I didn't interrupt, but I thought you might be hungry, Yamashita-taichou."

"Iie… not at all," Takumi stated. "We were just finishing up." Something about the situation made it seem well-played. Hajime offered her the tray of food, which she peered at dubiously for a few moments. Then, slowly, she turned to Takumi with a wry look. "I didn't need my left eye to know that you left without eating anything this morning," he retorted. Wordlessly, she sipped the tea and peered at the food before her. For some reason, everything tasted better in Soul Society, where she was among friends. Hajime leaned over and muttered something in Takumi's ear, something that must have relieved him in some way. When they had shared their private comment, his friend drew away and asked how his wound was. "It's been worse."

"That doesn't sound promising."

"Well, I don't exactly try to change fate every day." Haru gave him a glance and swallowed the morsel of food in her mouth.

"What did you do?" Takumi began to say that it was nothing important, but Hajime, who was loyal to following a captain's orders, interrupted him before he could finish.

"He saved someone precious to him."

"She doesn't need to know that!"

"Yare, yare," Hajime retorted, stepping out of Takumi's grasp as a fist swung through the air. "She's your captain now. She'll figure it out whether you tell her or not."

"There's nothing to tell."

"That's not what Hinamori-san said."

"Don't say it like that!"

"If you deny it, you will only cast more suspicion on the situation," Haru stated calmly. She drew in a sip of tea and glanced at her from the corner of her eye. Takumi, reading her intensions, sank down a bit. "After all the grief you gave me about Byakuya-sama, there is no way in hell I'm letting you live this one down."

"Taichou…" he pleaded.

"Iie."

"Onegai…"

"Iie," Haru said firmly, filling her mouth with food and chewing it. "As happy as I am that you two worked things out, I never expected anything if this caliber to develop. So, how far have you gotten? You haven't done anything in my office, I hope?"

"It isn't like that!"

"Do you honestly think me that dense, Takumi? I saw the way you were looking at her this morning. You weren't interested in her when I left…" She trailed off and took another sip of tea, and her violet eyes appeared from behind them. "But you are now."

"Urusai! At least I'm not stuck in a relationship with Captain Holier-than-thou!" In one swift move, Haru's sword fell against his skull. They both paused for a brief interval, then let their respective pains overwhelm them.

"Kuso… your skull is thick. Well, at least I know for a fact that you're hard-headed, so I won't hesitate to try cracking it open if you go too far." Haru gripped her shoulder for a moment, then casually returned to eating while Takumi swore about how much his head was killing him.

"I have to admit, you kind of deserved that," Hajime retorted. "Kuchiki-taichou may have a bit of a superior attitude…"

"That's an understatement," Takumi interjected.

"…But he has every cause to."

"Hai," Haru answered. "A skilled fighter, a captain, the head of his house, and my fiancée…" Dead silence descended on them as Haru processed exactly what she had just said. Takumi and Hajime were both equally speechless. She felt the heat overwhelm her face and covered it, laughing nervously. "Listen to the nonsense I'm saying! I suppose I'm still a little tired, even if I slept better last night than I have in almost a month…" The mere mention of sleep made her think of Byakuya, and her blush intensified, if that was even possible. "Maybe I should go and see Unohana-taichou. Yes, that's it. Something must be wrong with me…"

"Speaking of," Takumi stated, passing a glance to Hajime, "wasn't she supposed to be in to make sure I was still alive this morning?"

"Iie. She mentioned in passing yesterday that there was a captain's meeting she had to attend, so she wouldn't be coming in until later." They gave each other the same blank look, then turned to Haru, who was still flustered over having said something as absurd as she had. After one more moment past, she started consuming her breakfast at an astoundingly fast rate, and her progress was good until she swallowed something wrong and began coughing to dislodge the piece of rice from her throat.

"Matte kudasai, Yamashita-taichou… if you eat too fast you'll choke! Besides, she said they would delay until the fifth division captain arrived!"

"You failed to mention that!" she managed between coughs, tapping the middle of her chest with her fist to clear her windpipe.

"Considering how little sleep he had, I'm not surprised," Takumi retorted, scratching his ear. "Congrats on the engagement, by the way."

"We aren't engaged! It just… kind of slipped out…"

"Then what's that?" He pointed to the ring around her neck, which she wrapped her hand around and raised to her eyes in horror. With a heavy sigh, she bowed her head and clasped the ring between both hands.

"Kuso… I knew I forgot something last night before I drifted off. Why don't I remember putting it on again?" The truth appeared, and she bowed her head even lower.

"Daijoubu desu ka, taichou?"

"Hai. It's just…" She peered at her vice captain with a troubled look in her eyes. "He asked me before I left, and I… I couldn't answer him, not knowing that I might not make it back." Takumi's amusement subsided, and he bowed his head thoughtfully.

"Don't worry."

"Demo…"

"I said don't worry," Takumi repeated. "You were honest about your feelings, right? And he feels the same way, so it shouldn't really matter."

"What are you looking at?"

"Nothing important..." He kept a straight face when he said it, but she could see the heat in his face.

"It's not what you think!" He chuckled at her denial, which somehow reassured her. She drank the rest of her tea in one gulp, murmured her thanks for the meal, and rose to her feet. When he glanced at her again, he saw the same determination that had driven him to strive so hard for the honor of becoming her vice captain. She bowed her farewell as she left, a gesture that Hajime and Takumi both returned as best they could. Once she was gone, Hajime crossed his arms and leaned against the wall next to Takumi's bed, smiling faintly.

"A being that can defy fate…" he murmured.

"You sound interested."

"Oh, I am," Hajime replied, withdrawing a volume from his haori and thumbing casually through it. "The question is, why aren't you? Could it be that you already know the end to this story?"

"You should know the answer to that by now, Hajime."

"This is true," he responded, closing the book and peering out the window. From above, he could see Haru marching with great determination towards her destination. "Considering her level of power, nothing is certain."

* * *

><p>Byakuya arrived at the meeting on time for once, not ten minutes early as was his custom. He was hoping the other captains wouldn't notice and wouldn't take notice, and if they did, he hoped they wouldn't mention the peculiarity of his arrival. "What's the matter?" Zaraki demanded. "You oversleep?" He declined to answer by closing his eyes and putting on a complete mask of indifference. Hitsugaya assumed much the same expression, only his appeared more contemplative than Byakuya's.<p>

"You look well-rested for once, Byakuya-sama," Ukitake noted.

"Indeed, this is most unusual… both the timing and the condition," Mayuri noted.

"Ah… even after dealing with the infestation yesterday, though it's kind of surprising," Kyoraku added after an interval of silence.

"Enough," Soi Fon retorted, crossing her arms. "We were called here on business, not to reflect on his sleeping habits. So, if I may be so bold as to ask, Soutaichou-sama, what's the occasion?"

"I will discuss it at great length, once the last of us arrives."

"With all due respect, Yamamoto-soutaichou," Komamura stated, "it seems that we're all present."

"On the contrary," he answered. "The captain of the fifth division has yet to arrive."

"Eh? What're you talking about?" Zaraki was suddenly slightly more interested in what was going on around him. "You saying there's a new captain?" Yamamoto gave one slow nod of his head. Ukitake and Kyoraku exchanged puzzled glances while Hitsugaya folded his arms and Komamura's eyes sharpened.

"This is the first I've heard of it." The indignant comment came from Soi Fon, who, like everyone else in the room, was used to being notified well in advance about any impending promotions.

"The circumstances surrounding this promotion are very peculiar."

"Even so," Kyoraku interjected, "it's a little troublesome to find out someone is joining the rank this close to the war. And why the fifth division?"

"It was the most suitable choice."

"Neh, Byakuya, you look awful calm over there. You know something?"

"I am not at liberty to discuss the matter," he responded. Surprised at how calmly he provided the information, Zaraki grinned and gave a slight scoff.

"Doesn't matter. If I don't think he's good enough, I'll cut him down."

"Zaraki-san…" The comment came from Komamura. "You shouldn't threaten such extreme measures against someone you don't even know. Besides, this new captain, whoever he is, will be our ally and a great help in the war to come."

"As long as he's not a weakling," Soi Fon retorted.

"That would be pretty dull, though this new captain is guaranteed to be inferior to me," Mayuri stated.

"Considering he was selected by Yamamoto-soutaichou, I doubt he demonstrates any serious weaknesses," Ukitake replied.

"I'll make good and damn sure he ain't. I'll try to cut him, and if he lives, then he's strong enough."

"If he has already passed the exam, then such measures aren't necessary."

"Come on, Sajin… you'd fight him, too, if you could."

"I will not raise my sword against an ally."

"Komamura-san is right," Ukitake stated. "We should trust in Genryuusai-dono's judgment. It's sudden, but necessary, I suppose… considering the circumstances."

"Even so, it's still sudden," Soi Fon noted. "This new captain must really be something. Then again, if he were, then Soutaichou-sama would have mentioned him by now…"

"Maybe he didn't want to be mentioned," Komamura suggested, "or perhaps he was still deciding whether or not he wanted to take on the responsibility."

"I think he was just scared," Zaraki stated, "and this group ain't got room for cowards."

"You're all wrong." Every eye flashed to the door, which was occupied by the speaker. Slowly, she slid the door shut behind her and paced forward, continuing in her even tone. "I'm not a coward, and I wasn't deciding. I made up my mind before I left this place that if I ever came back, I would come back as a captain." Her footsteps ceased, and she glanced from face to face, from the positively stunned Ukitake to the slightly distrusting glimmer in Soi Fon's eyes. She detected Zaraki's desire to fight her, Komamura's curiosity… indeed, the air was thick with reactions.

"Haru…-chan?" Kyoraku stammered.

"Hai," she answered, smiling and bowing. "I apologize for the delay. My vice captain wanted to speak with me this morning. I am the new captain of the fifth division, Yamashita Haru. Hajimemashite."

"Yamashita…" Orange eyes flashed in her direction, and she suddenly felt unsettled. "That name… might you by chance belong to the quincy clan?"

"Hai…" she answered slowly.

"Then you'll be my test subject."

"Come… come again?" she stammered.

"The quincy is a very interesting subject to research…"

"Demo… I'm not…"

"Urusai. You are inferior. Know your place."

"Mayuri-san," Unohana chided. Something dark crossed Haru's eyes, but she retained her words and threw them to a corner of the room. Recalling the words of her brother, she instantly considered how she agreed wholeheartedly with his distain. Though Byakuya's attitude was sometimes superior, it was that of a noble, and that was entirely understandable given the environment he grew up in, but to be talked down to… that was another thing entirely. Haru clenched her fist, then relaxed her fingers. It wasn't worth the effort, she decided, nor the wasted breath of threatening to crack his skull open.

"Matte," Soi Fon stated. "Is this the same Haru that betrayed Soul Society and got herself killed?" Haru passed a questioning glance to Genryuusai, who gave no sign that he was going to provide any explanation whatsoever. Her eyes moved from face to face, and as they did, some kind of fire sprang to life in them. She straightened her shoulders and drew a difficult breath.

"It is true that I went to Hueco Mundo of my own free will, but if in that time I had betrayed anything, even for a second, then I would be too ashamed to show my face in Soul Society, let alone march in here calling myself a captain."

"How are you alive, then?" Ukitake inquired. "We were told that you were dead, beyond a shadow of a doubt. If that were true, then how can you be standing here?"

"It was a ruse." The words came from Byakuya, who had, until that point, refrained from giving Haru any sort of acknowledgement. "One that was very well played, as I would expect from the Yamashita clan's nineteenth heir. Haru-kun created a reason to leave Soul Society, just as she somehow created the illusion of being dead. And yet, a ruse of that caliber, one that creates a temporary bend in reality, must have a reason for being utilized." Haru folded her hands and peered at the floor momentarily, then raised her eyes to the Captain Commander. The only response she received was a nod. That gesture alone restored her confidence and made her straighten again.

"The real reason I left Soul Society, the real reason I didn't become a captain any sooner, is because I had some loose ends to tie up. For starters, my troublesome family problems had mounted to a level that required my intervention, but beyond that, and more importantly in my opinion, I needed to pay Aizen a debt."

"You went to pay a debt?" Hitsugaya demanded, folding his arms.

"You are confusing the meaning of the word," she added. "A debt can be positive or negative, or have you forgotten that I watched both of my parents die because of him?" A touch of bitterness permeated her tone, and Haru breathed a sigh, waiting until it subsided before continuing. "Aizen spared me the trouble of paying back my mother's blood by letting me live, or at least, he has for the moment, but there was still the matter of my father's blood. The Yamashita clan resented shinigami long before one killed my father, and after that happened, they begrudged the murderer with particular intensity. I knew I couldn't stand idly by and ignore the matter; I wanted recompense, not just because of my own pride, but because of what I lost. Knowing how much that would interfere with my job here, I couldn't simply forget it, and so I approached Yamamoto-soutaichou with the request that I be permitted to leave on the condition that, if I made it back, I would be promoted to captain. He found this arrangement agreeable since I had already passed the captain's exam without realizing what it was."

"And I suppose you got your revenge?" Komamura inquired. "But Aizen obviously isn't dead. On the contrary, his army has been quite active lately."

"I didn't collect my debt in blood," she answered. "That would be illogical. I've been called strong by some, but I'm still nowhere close to being in Aizen's league. Iie… my mission wasn't aimed at assassination."

"Then what possessed you to leave, if not that?"

"The hougyoku." The way she said it so calmly caused him to turn towards her at last. "That's right… my mission in Hueco Mundo was aimed solely at recovering of the hougyoku." A smile flitted across her face, one that was more satisfied that pleased, one that contained some sort of crafty undertone.

"And did you succeed in this endeavor?" Genryuusai inquired.

"Hai, though my success nearly came at the cost of my life. You are familiar with the circumstances of my delay, so I will not bother to explain them again." As silence settled in among them, Haru breathed a difficult sigh and reflected briefly on her ordeal. She acknowledged the undeniable truth that it certainly could have been worse. At the same time, one journey into Hueco Mundo was more than enough to last her for a lifetime. The pain seemed so distant, the difficult conditions of being slipped substances whenever she took in food, which was necessary to ensure her possession of the strength to continue existing and vital to her ruse of trusting Aizen… but her name rang out sharply and startled her out of her thoughts. She peered at Genryuusai for a moment before bowing her head.

"Moushiwake arimasen. I… some of the memories… are still very near." Reluctantly, she lifted her eyes to Genryuusai. "What was it that you were asking me?"

"I was merely reinforcing Unohana-taichou's recommendation that you not overdo it." Haru nodded in understanding. "Having said that, based on your attainment of a passing score on the captain's exam and the courage and strength you have demonstrated, the Gotei 13 officially recognizes you, Yamashita Haru, as the new captain of the fifth division. May you wear the title with honor and serve Seireitei until your job necessitates an honorable death."

"Arigato-gozaimasu," she responded, bowing as if she wasn't wounded at all. She was relieved that he hadn't asked questions about how she had gotten out of Hueco Mundo, much less how she had known of the attack that had taken place the day before. As she rose, she let her eyes move across them again, but they lingered longest on Byakuya, who gave her a slight nod that signified more than any words could.

"Since you are not familiar with everyone here, I will let them introduce themselves." The three captains she did not know each introduced themselves in turn, Soi Fon with an inquiry about the cross on her left wrist, which she responded was necessary to activate her bankai, Komamura with well-wishes, and Mayuri with the repeated demand that she become her test subject. As she opened her mouth to answer, her words were cut off by those of another speaking from across the room.

"You cannot have her," Byakuya said simply. "She belongs to me." Everyone's eyes snapped to Byakuya, for they were uncertain of the words they had heard. Haru hung her head and sighed heavily, wondering if she really should have gotten out of bed that day. Then, struck with the realization that the same thought had crossed her mind several days before, she suppressed a laugh and favored a silent acknowledgment of the déjà vu, a smile that spread across her face.

"Nah… is that really true, Haru-chan?" Kyoraku inquired.

"Who knows?" she responded with a shrug and a light-hearted smile.

"How disappointing…" Seeing the professional atmosphere deteriorate immediately under the inquiry of the other captains into matters that shouldn't have been discussed in his office, Genryuusai calmly dismissed them, showing no sign of anger or irritation whatsoever but occasionally passing Byakuya a perplexed look, as if asking his right-hand captain if he knew what he was getting himself into. The other captains immediately began exchanging hypotheses about them with the exception of Mayuri and Zaraki, who were still fixed on their respective desires regarding the new fifth division captain.

"Haru." Hitsugaya's voice cut through the curiosity. Fortunately, he was not the least bit interested in her personal life or her relationship with Byakuya. "That word with you… I'll have it now, if it isn't too much trouble."

"Not at all." Haru nodded her head to Byakuya before following Hitsugaya out. Apparently, he wished to discuss something further with Genryuusai. Byakuya, in turn, gave her a long look before returning her nod. Once the door was shut behind her and they had put a decent amount of distance between herself and the office, she heaved a heavy sigh.

"Is something wrong?"

"Iie," she answered, pressing a hand to her head. "I just don't understand why he sees it necessary to say things of that nature." She oscillated between a downcast expression and a faint smile for a moment, then peered to Hitsuygaya. "I'm sure problems of this nature don't interest you in the least, but if he does it again, just remind me that I swore I'd crack his damn skull open."

"I don't see why you didn't if it irritates you."

"I already tried cracking one skull this morning. It wound up with me experiencing as much pain as he did, if not more so." Haru rubbed her shoulder and peered to Hitsugaya again. "That aside, I haven't decided whether it irritates me more than it makes me happy."

"Why would something like that reassure you? It's downright unsettling, seeing Kuchiki-taichou express anything but… well, anything but nothing."

"I find it a great comfort, considering the fact that I left without telling him where I was going, pretended I betrayed Soul Society, then inadvertently faked my own death so well that I nearly died." Hitsugaya nodded in understanding and diverted his eyes, consumed momentarily by his own reflections. "Toushiro-san?"

"Hmm?"

"You wished to speak with me about something, didn't you?"

"Yeah," he stated. "Why did you demote Hinamori?" She gave a slight smile and peered to the ground. "Are you happy about what you did?"

"On the contrary, I agonized about the matter when it first came to my attention." Haru peered skyward for an instant, then glanced back to Hitsugaya. "I didn't want to do it, to be honest. Momo-san is a very strong individual that doesn't much show her strength. I suppose I'm like her in a sense, always holding something back until I deem it absolutely necessary. Nevertheless, I can only have one vice captain."

"And you chose Fujiwara Takumi."

"Iie," Haru answered. "He chose me."

"I don't quite understand."

"What is there to understand?" She stretched her arms slightly, wincing as her shoulders swung back into their original position. "Perhaps you aren't aware that, back when he could not control his zanpakutoh, he tried to kill me."

"Nani?" Hitsugaya demanded, stepping in front of her and causing her to stop. "Why in the hell would you choose someone like that to be your vice captain? It makes absolutely no sense!"

"On the surface, no, it doesn't." Stunned that she would ever admit such a thing, he folded his arms and closed his eyes. "Even so…" He peered at her with jaded eyes. "It is hard to ignore the loyalty he has showed me, the potential he possesses, and also, strange as it sounds, this comforted feeling I get when I think of how far he has come. The same night he tried to kill me, he practically begged me to make him my vice captain. Back then, he was convinced that he was only good for killing, but I'm certain now, just as I was certain then, that some part of him doubted and longed for a nobler purpose. Otherwise, he wouldn't have said anything."

"But he tried to kill you," Hitsugaya insisted. "He still has a dark side. I'm convinced of it." She peered at him for a moment before smiling calmly. "Haru…"

"I'm glad," she stated. "He is much like me, in that sense. The only difference is people who have seen his have lived to tell about it." Hitsugaya's eyes locked on where she had been standing. Very calmly, Haru stepped around him and paced with a calm sort of poise. "Momo-san was given a choice. She chose to step down and give Takumi this opportunity. I am certain he won't waste it."

"Even so, I can't stand for it, Haru."

"Toushiro-san…"

"I can't!" His vehement insistence caused him to whirl towards Haru, who peered at him with apology in her eyes. "What about her potential? What about her loyalty? Did you ever once consider those?"

"Would you rather they had fought each other?" Hitsugaya gave her an outraged look, but Haru remained entirely placid. "The matter had to be decided before I returned. I expected them to make some sort of compromise in my absence. It wasn't because I didn't want to make the decision; it was because I wanted to be sure that they could make decisions without me. Their reasons are their own; I won't ask them to explain themselves."

"Haru!"

"Have you considered discussing this matter with them?" she inquired. "Or have you done so already and were not satisfied by their answers?" Hating how transparent he was at the moment, he clenched his fist and looked away. "Do you think I've taken her voice, Toushiro-san?"

"It's the principle!" Her eyes flickered for a moment, bidding him to continue, but he remained silent for some time, not wanting his resentment to permeate every word he spoke. "I don't… I can't understand why she would ever want this… what would make her do what she did…"

"Something tells me she wasn't just thinking of Takumi," Haru said gently. "She had the division in mind. Strong leadership is what they need right now. Momo-san is the type of person who doesn't like to show her strength, whereas Takumi is used to fronting his own as a protective measure. She knows this as well as I do. I'm certain… that her actions are rooted in her desire to make the division more than it ever was before. Toushiro-san…" Haru's voice attained a trace of its familiar strength, and her expression grew serious. "Don't misconstrue the situation. She may not wear the title of vice captain anymore, but she will be just as much a part of this as Takumi and I myself are." She gave a bit of a start and heaved a sigh as she withdrew her phone from her haori, flipping the screen open and peering at it for a few instants before replacing it and turning away. "If you are not content with my answer, then there is only one other person to speak to, but I guarantee you that Yamamoto-soutaichou will not receive your complaints as I have."

Haru felt her gaze eating into her back until she turned the corner. Even then, she did not stop walking, as her mind became suddenly flooded with a thousand buzzing thoughts, all of them on her next course of action save one dark and trembling little shadow that disrupted the chaotic whirl of thought. _It had to be Fujiwara Takumi, not just for destiny's sake, but also for my own. _Haru considered it for a moment, then continued forward. _Momo-san couldn't do what I need him to… if the time ever comes and I become incapable of dictating my own actions, if this body ever rebels against me. _She gazed at her palm as she walked, studying how the pale light played on it before raising both arms to the sun and taking a few graceful winding steps in the snow. Haru spun almost half a turn on one foot before seizing the sun's rays with her hands and lowering them again. _Hai… if no one else will do it, then I can count on him to extinguish the fire._

* * *

><p>Genryuusai contented himself to listen, as he was prone to doing, especially when someone as reticent as Byakuya began speaking as much as he was. Every sentence was delivered in the same calm diction that he normally used. It was the subject that befuddled him. When it seemed the noble was finished, the old man quirked a brow and stated, "Why have you told me all of this?"<p>

"I simply thought you should be aware of my intentions."

"And what of your family? I know they opposed your initial intake despite my own insistence that she needed looking after."

"I plan to deal with them as soon as the opportunity presents itself. They should not oppose it as much, now that she has ascended to the head of her own house."

"They are a quincy family. Is that not reason enough to oppose it?" Byakuya's eyes grew dark as they fell shut. His brows fell together in deep thought, and he expelled a sigh that reflected the magnitude of his current inner workings.

"Whether they oppose it or not, I will do as I please, considering my certainty that we both desire it." Genryuusai studied him for a moment. "Do you object to my proposition?"

"Do I have reason to?"

"She is young."

"Outwardly, she is fifteen years of age, but her psyche demonstrates advanced development. She certainly does not think the way someone of her age would. Considering her circumstances, both past and present, that does not surprise me."

"She is half quincy."

"She is also half shinigami, and based upon that, I promoted her to the position of captain."

"Genryuusai-dono," Byakuya stated, "I don't believe you realize the depth of her will."

"Has she told you something?" He paused to contemplate the matter. Somehow, it felt like he was betraying Haru's confidence. At the same time, he could not simply lie to the captain commander.

"She may have insinuated that, should such a circumstance arise, she will put her own pride before everything else, including her duty to the Gotei 13."

"Then she is much like you." Byakuya worked to conceal his offended huff; he would never show a hollow any trace of mercy, no matter what it meant for his own pride, yet by telling Genryuusai that, he would have said too much. "You must decide for yourself if that bothers you. As for me, I am confident that whatever action Haru-sama takes, she is the only one who has it in her power to salvage the fifth division."

"How can you place your confidence so lightly?"

"If what you have told me is true, then how can you withhold your own?" Not expecting such a hasty comeback, Byakuya fell silent. "Having passed so much time in her company, and considering how deeply her feelings run for you, I am certain you have seen sides of her that no one ever has or ever will. Surely, having witnessed her power first-hand, you cannot deny that she will be a strong captain."

"Even so, captains who function solely on the strength of their swords are not even fit to be seated," he retorted.

"Then Haru-sama is even more suited for the job than her captain's exam revealed." Genryuusai turned temporarily towards the view of Soul Society he had from his office. "You express some concern about her strong will to defend her own pride, yet you fail to realize that without it, she would be nothing but her sword." Byakuya's eyes followed the captain commander as he crossed his office and leaned forward, studying the world below him. "I expect her to break conventions, Byakuya-dono, knowing what she is and how she has functioned in the past. She will pay her debts regardless of what any of us say, but she will also protect the things she holds dear, her pride among them. To be honest, I know you would do the same, if it came down to that." He almost objected, but he refrained, knowing that Genryuusai was telling the truth. "Haru-sama is part of your pride now. You would discard your duty if you even thought you had any chance at protecting her."

"What else…" He faltered, then bowed his head as he considered whether or not to finish. Helplessly, he muttered, "What else would you have me do?" Genryuusai raised his eyes momentarily, peering to the troubled noble that had insisted on a word with him.

"Nothing," Genryuusai answered. "Nothing, save demonstrating a little more faith in the willpower of your former sanseki, whose true strength, I am convinced now more than ever, has yet to be unveiled."

* * *

><p>"Yamashita-taichou!" Haru turned and smiled as Hinamori raced up, then put her hands on her knees as she tried to catch her breath. "Moushiwake arimasen. I almost overslept. Hajime had to practically drag me out of unconsciousness."<p>

"Such a high level of formality isn't necessary, Momo-san, nor is an apology. Your state is entirely understandable considering recent events. Besides, I planned to be a little late as it is. It will keep them guessing." Haru paused and thought for a moment, leaning up against the stone at her back. "By the way, have you received any further word on Takumi's condition?"

"He was sleeping when I left. Hajime-san says he won't be up and about for a few days, and Unohana-taichou believes his prognosis to be accurate. Oh, she also told me to ask you if you were faring alright." Haru raised her arm halfway, then stopped with a difficult sigh, passing Hinamori another smile.

"I've been better, I've been worse."

"Are you sure you're up to this, taichou? I mean, it doesn't have to be today." Haru turned, and Hinamori immediately followed after, staying just an arm's length behind her.

"I was just officially promoted to captain." An uncomfortable silence lingered before Hinamori wrapped her mind around a word to say.

"O… omedeto-gozaimasu!"

"Iie… that… that wasn't what I meant," Haru stated, waving her hands. "I mean, I'm grateful for your congratulations. However, it means that we have a lot of work to do, and with Takumi out, it will be difficult." She paused and glanced up at the sky. "I heard that his initial reception here was negative but it has since improved due to… certain circumstances."

"Hai," Hinamori answered. Her captain continued walking without peering back.

"I can only hope for a similar reception."

"Taichou…" Hinamori studied the shoulders ahead of her for a moment, the laughed slightly. "Are you really that nervous?"

"If I wasn't, then do you think I would have asked you to accompany me?"

"You don't have a reason to be nervous," she responded. "Honestly… taichou, you're genuine and straightforward. You're the kind of captain this division needs."

"You say that, and yet you forget so soon after the fact that I fooled all of Soul Society into thinking I was a traitor, which led to another layer of deception in my pretending to be dead." She glanced at Hinamori briefly, then sighed heavily. "You also fail to recall that I am by blood half quincy."

"I don't see why that should matter!" Hinamori declared. "Haven't you already proven your strength by going into that hellhole and coming back out?"

"I nearly didn't."

"Taichou!" Hinamori shouted, whirling around Haru and stepping in front of her with a vehement huff. "How can you sell yourself short after all you've been through? If it were anyone but you, then they actually would have died! Acknowledging your own strength isn't a bad thing, but ignoring it entirely is terrible." Realizing the tone that she had taken, she blushed and bowed her head in apology. "M… moushiwake arimasen…"

"Iie," Haru answered, setting her hand on Hinamori's shoulder. "Don't apologize. I may be the kind of captain this division needs, but I'm nothing without honest people working beside me, people who aren't afraid to criticize or correct me." She smiled and bowed her head slightly. "I haven't gotten the chance to thank you…"

"I'm only doing my job."

"Still, it warrants gratitude. I know a lot of seated officers who don't." She deliberately avoided using Renji's name, but he was one vice captain in particular who seemed to let his indolent streak get the best of him. At the same time, she couldn't help but acknowledge that he had his own strengths, strengths that quite obviously did not include pushing papers. Haru marched forward with a slightly quicker pace, and Hinamori, not expecting the sudden increase in speed, rushed after her captain.

"Yamashita-taichou," she breathed, "can I even ask why you left in the first place?"

"It is irrelevant," Haru answered.

"Demo…"

"Irrelevant," she repeated with great conviction. Detecting the determination in her captain's voice, Hinamori couldn't help but assume that her captain had her reasons for maintaining her silence. At the same time, she also noted an undercurrent of significance that had nothing to do with her leaving or coming. "All my life, I've run from power, even when it was thrown into my lap. I didn't want it. But that…" Haru paused in her words, and as she came to the door of the meeting hall, her hand paused. She drew a breath and peered to Hinamori, who looked slightly disconcerted with her captain's sudden determination. "That was in the past. Even after all that cursing, all that flight, I still lost my human existence for the power I thought would keep me strong. And now… I feel as if my entire life has been leading up to this one moment, even if it stands to represent the culmination of all my respective powers, strength, leadership, a bloodline. What future this will grant me, I don't know. Hai… it's the future I care about, but if I want it to bear any semblance to something desirable, I have to start now, in this moment. What matters now… is not the future. It is this microscopic link in an infinite chain of moments."

When Haru smiled, Hinamori's breath hitched, but the mood was contagious, and she soon found herself doing just as her captain was. "Then, shall we go, Yamashita-taichou?" Haru answered with a nod as her fingers curled themselves around the door. With one gentle pull, she broke the material barrier separating her from the room's contents, and with a much slower gait paced forward with Hinamori in her shadow. She caught bits of rumors and speculation, but as she marched towards the front of the room, silence gradually swept over it. She refrained from peering at them until she arrived at her destination. Once there, she paused and let her eyes worked over the room, considering it for a moment before bowing her head with a smile. "It looks like everyone is here. Then, there's no need to delay."

"Ano…" She peered towards the inquirer, who slowly lowered her and peered down. "I… thought this division was getting a new captain."

"Hai. That's me."

"Eh?" someone stammered. "Demo… you look so young. How can you be our captain?"

"Urusai!" Hinamori said sharply. Even Haru was taken aback. "How can you doubt someone you've never met?"

"Well, I honestly can't blame them, considering their last captain deserted them," Haru said with a shrug and a sigh. "Kuso… I really wish I could have punched him the face just once before leaving…" She gauged their reactions before smiling and bowing slightly. "Perhaps I should introduce myself. Go bantai taichou, and also, the nineteenth heir of the Yamashita clan, Yamashita Haru. Hajimemashe." Her violet eyes flashed into view as a dubious sea of whispers filled the room, some about her name, some about her so-called betrayal, some about her being dead. Though her eyes appeared serious, the smile still lingered on her face. "I detect some objections about my promotion." Her statement silenced them again. "I will address several of your major points at this time. First, I did not betray anything; I made my intentions clear to Yamamoto-soutaichou before I even left. I had some work to do. I can't explain it all, not now, but if I had not put up some ruse of betrayal, I would have been killed the moment I set foot in that hellhole. As for being dead, I am quite obviously alive."

"You have no reiatsu!"

"Iie," Haru answered, outstretching an arm that gleamed with an ephemeral burst of spiritual pressure. "Truth be told, this is something I can't explain, either, but something is interfering with your feeling it. Momo-san here can testify that I have quite a bit of reiatsu, as could Takumi, who is unfortunately bedridden due to his own stupidity. Oh, but don't worry… he's rather resilient. I'm certain that he will return in several days' time."

"Even if you do have reiatsu, isn't the Yamashita clan a quincy family?" Haru peered at the shinigami who had asked her the question for a moment, then cast her eyes to the floor.

"Taichou…" Hinamori murmured, reaching out a hand and touching her shoulder. Just before it found its resting place, Haru clenched her fists and gave a defiant sway.

"What of it?" she demanded in a tone that nearly severed every trace of dissent in the room. "Right now, my greatest wish is to bring order back to the fifth division and to make it stronger than it was before Aizen deserted you. I'll be the first to admit that it's a lofty aim, but I never expected to accomplish it alone. I'm going to need every pair of hands I can get to help me do that. It's going to mean working together and relying on each other. The weak will lean on the strong, but the strong will also need to lean on the weak. Cooperation is the only way this division can recover and survive. If you aren't willing to do that, then just say so." Her voice almost dared anyone to counter. Still, she silently hoped that someone would say something, anything, so that she wasn't left standing with nothing more than an indiscernible silence. _I was honestly hoping, after that rebellion, that they wouldn't be so hesitant to say something. Perhaps it was too much to hope for, then…_

"I'll follow you." Startled, she glanced up to the source of the voice, who leaned against the frame of the door for a moment before shutting it behind him and walking forward with a focused look on his face. She could still see the slight hesitation in his steps, as if walking was in itself a difficult task. He kept one arm around his stomach, and the slight gap in his uniform revealed the rows of bandages that had been wound around him. "I don't care where you're going or what the odds are that you won't come back. I'll follow you. Whatever you ask of me, I'll see it done if it's in my capabilities to do so, not out of some sense of duty or whatever, but because I chose to." At that point, Haru wasn't sure what to do, considering the fact that her vice captain had simply marched in there as if his injuries were insignificant, though it was quite obvious to her that they were, and made such an ardent declaration of loyalty, adding with it a bow that must have bothered his wounds. Still, he lingered in that position without so much as one trace of a complaint.

"I'll also do what I can, Yamashita-taichou," Hinamori stated, bowing her head and causing Haru to give a slight stammer.

Another shinigami rose. "I… I'll follow you as well, Yamashita-taichou!"

"And I as well!" In one sweeping motion, broken by individual declarations and acknowledgments, the entire room gradually got to its feet and bowed. She scanned the room once, waiting for her astonishment to subside, but when it did, she couldn't help but return the respectful gesture.

"Arigato," she stated, rising. "I promise you that I will do my part to prove myself worthy of being your captain. Let's all work hard to make this division more than it was before." A unified acknowledgment of her will filled the room, then subsided to miscellaneous discussions, of which Haru was the central point. She sighed with relief and peered to Takumi. After peering at each other for a moment, they exchanged smiles because words seemed more a superfluous embellishment to their understanding than a necessity.

* * *

><p>Hooray for promotions! This makes me think about my new job a bit. *bites nails* New chapter will be up as soon as I quit procrastinating. I'm going to go do something I haven't been able to do all semester: Sim myself into a coma. But before I forget, here is a Japanese lesson for all of you:<p>

Hai: Yes

Gomen: An apology

Ohayogozaimasu: Formal good morning

Ohayo: Good morning

Gomen ne: Another apology, similar in nature to "gomen." According to the interwebs, men would be more likely to say "gomen" or "gomen na." This is good to know for my own purposes. ^_^

Arigato: Thanks

Nande: Why

Iie: No

Demo: But

Gomenasai: Formal apology

Onegai: Please

Urusai: Shut up

Kuso: Japanese swear word. Squee~~ (^_^)

Matte kudasai: Please wait

Daijoubu desu ka: Are you alright

Hajimemashite: Pleased to meet you

Matte: Wait

Moushiwake arimasen: Super formal apology

Arigato-gozaimasu: Formal thanks

Nani: What

Omedeto-gozaimasu: Formal congratulations

Ano: Japanese equivalent of "um."

Thanks again for reading, everyone. Until next chapter~


	9. Chapter 9: Errand

A/N: Moving sucks. That is all. Being back at home for the summer has its advantages, but I have a hell of a lot more material belongings than I thought I did, and having to go through them all, putting them all back in their proper place, sorting through the trash and the treasure, is becoming a delightful pain in the ass.

So it's time to procrastinate by posting a chapter. Woo hoo!

Kudos to my readers, and a shout-out to my reviewers: Juliedoo, Almathia, NAO-chan33, La Nuit Noire, ThorongilAnime, and DisillusionedNight.

Caution: This chapter is hobnoxiously long. You'll be relieved to know I trimmed 800-ish words. I'm actually a little disappointed that I couldn't trim a full page or two.

Also hoping this doesn't feel too much like a filler, but even if it does, there is more to come soonish! Hope you enjoy it. ^_^

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 9: Errand<br>_

"Are you sure you're up to this, Takumi?"

"If I wasn't, then would I have agreed to it?" He walked calmly alongside Hinamori, who cast him a dubious look but kept walking forward in spite of it. "Something wrong?"

"Well, you…" She paused to collect her words. "You just seem to be pushing yourself hard."

"I have to. I'm a vice captain, aren't I?"

"I wish you would think of your health," she sighed.

"I am," he answered. "My future health. If I want to get stronger, I have to practice."

"Even so, we've spent the past five days pushing papers." She passed him a critical glance. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Would you be satisfied if you examined my wounds yourself? They're fine. If they weren't, then I'd have absolutely no reason to come here." She crossed her arms with a huff.

"Tempting, but no."

"Nani? It's not like you haven't seen it before…"

"It's different," she answered. "Back then, it wasn't tempting." Takumi chuckled at her expression, striding forward with purpose and peering at Hinamori with his one visible eye. "What does Hajime-san say about your persistence?"

"What would he say?"

"Well, he might object to your extensive activity. Perhaps I should mention it to him."

"That's no fun," he retorted.

"Then why haven't you told him yet?" Takumi gave her a sheepish smile and locked his hands behind his head. "It's bad enough you're doing paperwork and sitting upright all day without a moment's rest. Now, you want to spar me again, and here I am agreeing to it."

"Hey, it's not my fault you can't say no to me." She moved to kick him, but Takumi withdrew to a safe distance before she could set her plan into action. Seeing the fret on her face, he inched closer and continued peering at her. "Something wrong?" She didn't answer immediately. Her eyes hung towards the ground, and her head was bent slightly. "Eh? Momo-san…"

" I understand you want to get stronger in order to make this division stronger, but don't you think you should give your wounds more time?"

"Taichou barely gave hers a day."

"I know. I told her the same damn thing, but she has been so restless since she got back…" Hinamori's voice trailed off. How many times had she startled Haru out of her paperwork to deliver a cup of tea or a message from another shinigami? She always seemed preoccupied, even when she bestowed all her attention on one thing. Hinamori asked herself what Haru could possibly be contemplating, if anything, or what could have forced her into such a state of mind, as if her consciousness itself had been divided between external tasks and internal processing. Perhaps she was wrong; perhaps Haru was troubled about something. That would make more sense since Haru was still adjusting to being a captain and the head of her family. "Kuso… I still feel like she's withholding something."

"Taichou is the master of enigmas. I'm sure she'll tell us when she's ready. She always does." Since the snow was becoming increasingly difficult to train in, they opted for a change of venue, something indoors and away from the relentless wind. The meeting room was ideal, as it was spacious and seldom used. Just swinging their swords would be enough to satisfy him. He didn't care if they struck one another; he just needed to feel Akumashoku between his hands. He supposed Hinamori was in much the same condition, having refrained from doing any rigorous training while he was out of commission. _We've lost some time, _he thought. _It won't be impossible to make up for it, but it will be difficult, considering the extent of my injuries. Still, I don't see any reason for complications if I stop when I start feeling dizzy…_

Takumi's train of thought ceased momentarily as he pushed the door open and stepped in. Hinamori followed and shut the door behind him, but by then, they had both become distinctly aware that the room was anything but empty. Hinamori paused before striding up beside Takumi, who was transfixed on the figure in the middle of the room and on the steady rise and fall of her sword. Her rhythm was rather vigorous, as was evident both by the current frequency of the katana's descent, its unreal velocity, and the gleam of sweat on her brow. She seemed so intensely focused that she heard neither the vice captain nor the third seat enter. Hinamori touched Takumi's arm and asked with her gaze if they should leave, but he didn't seem to perceive it, being engrossed in her movements as he was.

"Yamashita-taichou." Her sword came to a stop in mid-swing, causing her quincy cross to rattle, and slowly, Haru turned towards them. She was entirely out of breath, and her amethyst eyes gleamed with some sort of frustrated light. She blinked before wiping her brow with the back of her hand and lowering her sword. "S... sumimasen. We didn't mean to interrupt…"

"Iie," Haru answered. "A break will be good for me." She seated herself against a wall, drawing one knee up and leaning her now sheathed sword in the crook of her arm. Then, she glanced to Takumi and Hinamori, who exchanged quizzical glances before realizing that she was still holding onto his arm. "Come on," Haru retorted as her sanseki practically flew three steps back. "If it bothered me, I would have said something already." They exchanged looks again before Hinamori cleared her throat.

"Taichou, this is your day off."

"I know."

"Then why are you here and not at the Kuchiki manor? Did something happen?"

"I'm not sure." Something deep and thoughtful flitted across her eyes. Nevertheless, she smiled and tilted her head. "It gave me a good opportunity to turn some issues over. Still…" Her voice trailed off on a note that was both pensive and concerned. Hinamori, at a complete loss of what she could do, remained rooted to the floor, but a shadow moved past her, touching her shoulder lightly before kneeling before Haru and doing the same. Bewildered, she peered up at Takumi, who gave her a reassuring look and sighed heavily.

"Taichou," he muttered, "I'd like to think we're not just coworkers. You and I, and Momo-san as well… we need bonds deeper than that if we want this division to get any better." Haru's eyes rose for a moment, then fell again. "What I'm trying to say is… we're you're friends, too. So, if you need to blow off some steam, or talk something out, then we'll listen."

"This is a personal problem."

"Doesn't matter," Takumi stated, withdrawing and crossing his legs. Hinamori sat beside him with her own folded beneath her. She set her hands in her lap and peered at her captain. "If we are friends, then it makes no difference."

"We aren't trying to pressure you, taichou," Hinamori put in. "I mean, it's not like you have to tell us. Still, I think Takumi has a good point." Haru shifted her grip on her sword slightly and leaned back to fix her eyes on the ceiling. After a time, she swept her hand across her forehead and returned her gaze to them.

"To be honest, the only reason I'm here is because Byakuya-sama said he had some things to discuss with his family. The nature of these things… is already very clear to me." She touched the silver band dangling around her neck and dropped her eyes with a slight blush. "He told me I could stay, on the condition that I was quiet. Knowing that I would be anything but, considering how nervous I am, I came here, and I've been trying not to think about it." She drew a long breath and sighed. "If they pose any objections, then I'm not sure what I'll do."

"You'll kick their asses is what," Takumi retorted.

"That's precisely what I'm afraid of." Haru wrapped both hands around her sword and tilted her head so she was leaning against it. A few pieces of hair fell across one eye, but they both shimmered with their typical pensiveness, intermingled with patient concern. "I can bear the waiting, nervous as I am, but if the results of Byakuya-sama's petition are unfavorable, then I may wind up saying more than I should."

"You're a noble. You can say what you want."

"Even so, I don't feel it would be in my best interest to speak out of anger, as I am prone to do. If object to what Byakuya-sama is proposing, then I'll give them a piece of my mind, but even if I did, it wouldn't alter their decision, no matter how vehement I got, and if by some slim chance they did reconsider, they would take my actions and my words into account." She heaved a sigh and shook her head. "I feel so helpless… that's part of the reason I came here. I needed to swing a sword. It sort of takes my mind off things."

"Gomenasai, taichou," Hinamori interrupted. "We didn't mean to interrupt, and if we had known that…" Haru scoffed and concealed a laugh behind her hand before raising her eyes again.

"It's fine, really. In fact, I'm glad you came." Haru leaned against the wall and tilted her head upwards. _It's going to snow again, soon. Winter is here, now… kuso. How long will it be? _An image flashed in her mind, and she discarded it with a determined shake of her head. _Not now. That's something I don't feel much like thinking about. _Her eyes wandered to a naked corner of the room, where she was again faced with a pressing difficulty, one that had plagued her for days and would probably continue plaguing her.

"Taichou?"

"Hai?" she cried, jolted suddenly out of her thought by Hinamori's beckon. She smiled slightly and shook her head.

"Taichou, you were staring off into space, as if you were thinking about something serious."

"Yes, well, this whole situation with the Kuchiki family isn't the only one on my mind." Haru pressed a hand to her head and leaned back again. "I can't say much about it, not with the way things stand, but maybe someday, I'll be able to face it." Haru diverted her eyes again, knowing that they unveiled how troubled she truly was. She pressed a hand against her forehead and lowered it. _What am I going to do with you? _She suppressed a sigh and dropped her hand, locking her eyes on her knee. Hinamori nearly said something, but Takumi stopped her with a shake of his head.

"There has to be something we can do."

"Iie," he murmured, giving his captain a glance. "This is something she has to figure out on her own." They studied her for a time in the silence that lingered. Suddenly, she jolted up.

"That's right. I almost forgot…" Haru smiled and dropped her eyes again, then climbed to her feet and slid her sword into her obi.

"Eh? Taichou? Where are you going?"

"To run a quick errand." She paced towards the door, then peered back to them. "Care to join me?" Since it was their captain, and since she seemed to need the company, neither of them refused her request. Had they known the details of the errand, however, they would have been slightly less inclined to accompany her.

* * *

><p>"Man," Takumi sighed. "I didn't think I'd be back here so soon." He glanced occasionally at the people below from his perch on the roof. Haru descended into an empty portion of sidewalk and continued in her chosen direction, followed closely by Hinamori and more distantly by Takumi, who paused to look into the face of a child walking by, one who strangely enough peered at him, or rather through him, since he wasn't in a gigai. After stumbling, he moved on. Takumi reflected on how young he was to be on his own and nearly said something to Haru, but they had nearly left him behind. Shoving his thoughts of the matter aside, he rushed to catch up to her, shifting his eye as he fell into line. "Something about this doesn't feel right."<p>

"The air here is quite different than that in Soul Society," Haru stated. "The reishi are not as dense, so I'm not surprised that it causes you a little discomfort."

"Iie," he retorted. "It just… reminds me of darker times." A twinge of guilt worked its way through Haru, but she showed neither her vice captain nor her third seat the emotion. Instead, she continued striding forward, watching her breath rise on the air like mist. "Last time I was here, I thought I was going to die, and then, I wound up watching you traipse off on some suicide mission. That's not exactly the kind of place you'd like to come back to."

"You could have just refused, you know," Hinamori noted. "It's not like she gave us a formal order to come with her."

"Yeah, but that wouldn't have felt right." He peered at his reflection as they passed a glass window. "Where are we going, anyway?"

"I can't tell you."

"Nani?" Takumi cried, bolting in front of her. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Haru paused and tapped a finger against her chin, then peered off to the side. "It's dangerous, then?"

"If you aren't with me, then it will be. The trouble is, I sometimes have a hard time finding exactly where I'm going, since they do such a good job of hiding it."

"Taichou…" His complaint was swiftly cut off by Hinamori, who kicked him in the shin and forced him to turn while he was still nursing his wound, then gave him a vehement shove forward. "What gives?"

"You're a vice captain, Fujiwara-fukutaichou. Start acting like it."

"Demo…" Bemused by their antics, Haru held back and allowed herself a smile. After shoving Takumi for about ten feet, Hinamori turned around and gave her a puzzled look.

"It's this way."

"Are you sure this time?"

"Quite," Haru answered.

"Honestly," Takumi retorted, pressing a hand to his head. "How did I ever choose a captain who has no sense of direction?"

"I don't exactly see you volunteering to find out where we are."

"There's no one we could ask! Well, like this, anyways," he answered, falling into line behind Haru. Once he was certain she was preoccupied, he leaned over and clasped a hand over his mouth. "Something tells me things are about to get interesting."

"Interesting?" she murmured in response. "Is it a hollow?"

"Iie. I just have a strange feeling about this is all. It's the same feeling I had every time she disappeared before she left for Hueco Mundo."

"What do you think it is?"

"I'm not sure yet." Takumi peered to her for a moment, then continued. "She doesn't seem anxious at all, so she must be familiar with whoever she's going to see. Still, that doesn't really mean anything for us. If I understand rightly, they aren't too friendly with shinigami."

"What makes you say that?"

"Think about it. Last time Kuchiki-taichou and Renji stumbled in there, they were both in a pretty rotten mood. That can only mean something happened, right? Something that they didn't like."

"You have a point."

"And what does a captain hate anything else in the world?"

"I'm not sure. I never really thought about it."

"It varies from one to the other," Takumi stated, "but that particular captain and his vice captain both hate the same thing. It's feeling helpless, as if they've lost all their power."

"Do you think they'll do that to us if we're with Yamashita-taichou?"

"If they do, they had better not leave me enough strength to fight." When he glanced at Haru again, she was peering over her shoulder, but upon being caught by him, she smiled briefly and turned away. Apparently, she had no clue that she was the topic of their discussion. When she did come to a stop, they paused to examine the structure. "What the hell is this?"

"Follow me, if you'd like to find out," Haru answered. He hesitated for a moment, then strode confidently forward.

"Maybe I will." Hinamori took a hold of his arm and moved forward. He gave her a brief glance, saw that she was actually more confident than he was, and continued. They passed through some kind of barrier, which made him shutter slightly because it felt peculiar and because something had presented itself to his eye, though he wasn't quite sure what it was since his vision was not clear. Haru pushed the door open without knocking, leaving the sunlight behind as she crossed the threshold of a shadowy, abandoned warehouse. After a cursory look around her, she cupped her hands around her mouth.

"Hello?" she shouted. "Anyone home?" Only her own echo answered her. "Hmm… I guess they're all downstairs."

"Downstairs?" Takumi inquired. Haru stepped on a certain part of the floor and found the means to open some sort of trap door. From where he was standing, Takumi spotted a staircase leading downwards. "What kind of place is this?" Haru peered at him momentarily, then shook her head in dismay and began to descend.

"Watch your step."

"Taichou…"

"If you want to turn back, then I understand. After all, I only asked you to come; I didn't ask you to follow me down. However, I would like to impart to you some form of understanding as to the extent of my influence. See, I have many friends in high places, but I have friends in low places, too, friends whose existence is seldom acknowledged." Haru peered at them thoughtfully, then dropped her head with a serene smile. "I want you to understand the magnitude of pride I derive from seeing past every line society has cast. This, I can assure you, is only the beginning. I cannot ignore the possibility that you will learn something about me that changes the way you view me now. If at any point, I become a captain you no longer wish to follow…"

"How can you say that, Yamashita-taichou?" Takumi demanded.

"That's right," Hinamori said with equal force. "We chose to follow you. The least you can do is have a little faith. Is that asking too much?" For a moment, her expression betrayed her; she was surprised at the degree of their loyalty. Still, there were certain circumstances—hollow circumstances—that they would likely never understand. At the moment, those factors seemed irrelevant, and as she turned to walk down the stairs, she heard their footsteps behind her. After it grew too difficult to see, Haru extended a palm and used a highly controlled, low power kidou to light their way. She extinguished it as soon as the darkest part of the passage was over, leaving the task of guiding them to what seemed like natural lighting. Suddenly, they were standing on grass, nothing like the winter looming overhead or the stairway they had just descended. "Eh? There are other places like Urahara-san's basement?"

"Of course there are," Haru answered. "You just have to know where to look." She peered vigilantly about and found that none of the vizard were immediately present, but she felt them. The likelihood of them feeling her was slim. She was more concerned about her willing followers, as well as their temporary disruption of Hachi's barrier. She tried to decide whether it would be more beneficial to wait for them or to search them out, but she had hardly started contemplating the matter when she sidestepped to dodge the foot flying at her forehead. Takumi, having been on guard himself, seized Hinamori and flashed to a safe distance while their attacker turned on Haru.

"Baka!" She stepped back as a sword moved past her face. At that point, Hinamori moved to intervene, but Takumi retained his hold on her and gently shook his head. By then, Haru had flashed around the sword two or three times, and each swing was accompanied with an increasingly vociferous declaration of, "Baka!" She walked a full circle around her attacker, which only served to infuriate her further. She launched another kick at Haru's head, but as with the first, she calmly moved around it. "How stupid are you? Launching into an all-out fight when yer damn wounds aren't healed yet! Stand still so I can beat some sense into you!" While giving Haru this lecture, Hiyori continued to swing, but with no result other than the placid, rhythmic dodging, regardless of the direction and angle. "Ya got some nerve… comin' back… after doin' something that stupid!" Haru tilted her head and watched the tip of the blade glint past her eye. "What're ya here for, anyway? Got somethin' to say? Well, say it! And while yer at it, draw yer damn sword, or else I'll start thinkin' yer scared or somethin'!"

Haru pulled her katana free of its sheath and blocked the next strike Hiyori made. Their blades remained locked, each quivering slightly under the force of the opposing weapon, but the wielders remained stationary despite the pressure they exerted on one another. "I apologize."

"Eh?"

"For breaking my promise to bid you farewell before I left for Soul Society, I apologize. Even so…" Her tone grew slightly dark, and she shoved her opponent away with minimal effort. Surprised Hiyori studied the captain as she stood rigidly and averted her eyes. "I did what I had to do." Her hand curled temporarily, as if to suppress some more significant gesture, then relaxed again. A difficult thought consumed her, lurking strongly behind a placid screen of violet. Her head slowly dropped into a bow, and the hand clutching the katana faltered. _On that day, _she thought, remembering with vivid flashes the blood of a small army strewn across a dark stone floor. _On that day… _Another past dragged across her eyes, this time involving flames and dying curses. _On that day, I became everything I hated in Aizen. _With a heavy sigh, she sliced through the air with her sword once before sheathing it and turning to Hiyori. "Maybe it was stupid, but can you expect me to know any better? I exist for one purpose and only one: to protect this world. If I ever betray that instinct, then I will be no better than he is."

"Oi," Hiyori interrupted. "Ya sound pretty serious. Something happen?"

"Nothing that wasn't expected."

"That ain't saying a whole lot, considering what ya've been through."

"True, but that is enough for you to understand how deep this desire to protect runs."

"Lay it on the line, Haru. No sense in beatin' around the bush." She peered at the vizard momentarily and saw that there truly was no sense in holding back.

"Two espada," she answered.

"Two? In the same day? In yer condition?" Haru's eyes fell away, and she turned, trying to ignore the building guilt within her. "Do you really wanna die that badly? How stupid are ya?"

"I did what I had to." She found it impossible to curb the resentment in her voice. Hinamori and Takumi exchanged glances, both asking with their eyes why she despised the matter as it now stood. However, neither of them was willing to open old wounds by asking her about it. Takumi was far more concerned about her state of mind. As he gazed at her, he spied a slight trace of turmoil in her reiatsu, one that hadn't been there before the incident five days ago. It was nearly the same thing that had occurred within him, having exposed his eye to the least favorable person in the Gotei 13, then using it to take down a small army in one instant.

_I can deal with my problems on my own, but taichou… _He opened his mouth to say something, then shut it and pushed Hinamori aside as a protective measure. As he peered at the sword rushing at him, some sort of pain overtook his eye and caused his senses to run together just long enough to delay him. _Kuso… it hurts so much all of a sudden. I… I can't even move… what is with this girl's reiatsu? It's patterns are so wild… I can barely follow them, and this strange feeling, almost like I'd have to look deeper to see everything. _Quite suddenly, his scrutiny was interrupted by a different reiatsu, which he couldn't feel at all but could see quite clearly. One upward cut deflected the blade and threw Hiyori backwards, but she easily landed on her feet. Calmly, Haru swung her katana through the air and sheathed it.

"Oi," Hiyori retorted. "What'd I tell ya about bringin' yer shinigami friends in here?"

"They aren't just my friends; they're my coworkers. To be more specific, my vice captain and my sanseki." She gestured to both of them in turn, then glanced back to Hiyori. "Since they chose to follow me, I thought they should be aware of the type of people I associate with on a regular basis. For that reason…" Haru relaxed her tone slightly. "For that reason, Hiyori-san, I ask that you be more polite than you were with Byakuya-sama." Her expression didn't change as she moved it from Hinamori, who stammered a hasty greeting and bowed her head, to Takumi, who continued pressing a hand against his eye patch.

"What's with you?" she demanded, putting her arms on her hips and giving him that same wry expression. "Say somethin'."

"I could say plenty, but you probably wouldn't like any of it," he answered, hissing slightly before letting his arm drop and glancing to his captain. "Don't worry, taichou. It took me a minute, but I think I'm getting used to it."

"Used to what?" Hiyori demanded. He gave a slight scoff and turned away. Infuriated, she charged to kick him in the back of the head, but at the last moment, he whirled to her and caught her foot with a completely steady hand. He avoided the next one with just as much ease and delivered an uppercut she wouldn't soon forget. As she collided with the ground, Hinamori raised a hand to her mouth, but Haru merely studied the infuriated vizard for a moment. She sat up and spit out some blood before realizing that Takumi was standing in front of her with a hand outstretched and a strangely chivalrous smile on his face.

"Gomen. I used too much force, I guess, but it's never nice to make a lady help herself up." She raised a quizzical brow. He could already see the plan formulating in her eyes. "I'm more than willing to do so, given you don't try anything." Haru watched this exchange from the corner of her eye, allowing her emotions to play on its surface as, hesitantly, Hiyori reached out again, this time genuinely. "Nani? Are you finished?"

"It ain't no fun if ya expect it. The hell are ya, anyway? You some kind of augur?"

"Something like that," he answered, pulling Hiyori to her feet. "Go bantai fukutaichou, Fujiwara Takumi. Hajimemashite."

"Sarugaki Hiyori."

"Well," Haru stated, scratching her head. "This is a pleasant surprise. The two of you are being so civil." Hiyori withdrew her hand and gave Takumi a once over from head to foot, then paced several circles around him. Takumi spun to keep his visible eye on her. Finally, satisfied, Hiyori ceased and looked back to Haru.

"He ain't like other shinigami, that's for sure."

"I suppose you could say… Takumi and I have some things in common."

"That why you picked him?"

"Actually," Haru said with a slight smile, "he's the one who picked me. Momo-san is a similar case; she chose to go along with his whims the same way I did. However, I haven't come back to discuss my motives or my promotion."

"Really, now? Ya need me to give someone a royal ass-kicking?"

"Iie, iie… it's nothing like that," she answered, smiling and waving her hands. "I just came to fulfill the promise I made before I left so suddenly, plus Ishi-nii still has my violin, so I thought I should retrieve it." Hiyori peered at Haru for a moment. She thought the Vizard's expression couldn't grow any sourer, but she was immediately proved wrong. "What's with that look? You know I'm a captain now, so I don't exactly have a lot of free time on my hands. I told you I would give you a proper farewell when I intended to return to Soul Society, and that's what I'm here to do. Now, could you please escort us to the others? I wouldn't want to risk having to take all of you at once." Hiyori scoffed but did as she was asked. Haru followed behind her, and Takumi, catching the trepidation on Hinamori's face, offered her his arm, which she didn't hesitate to take before walking in Haru's direction.

"Oi, Haru…"

"Hmm?" she inquired.

"What's with that vice captain of yours?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean to say there's somethin' unsettling about him."

"How so?" Hiyori glanced at Haru's expression, and finding a placid, semi-amused smile skirting across it, she folded her arms with a huff.

"At first, it was his reiatsu. It just kind of wavered like a flame about to go out. Then, suddenly, he's stepping around me like he knows exactly what I'm going to do."

"That's because he does," Haru murmured, causing Hiyori to whirl back with a dubious look. "I'm honestly not fabricating any of this. He knew I would go back to Soul Society and fight. He also knew that Momo-san's life was in jeopardy that morning, so he intervened and fortunately survived. I have no reason to doubt anything he has told me."

"How is that even possible?"

"The Fujiwara clan are apparently special, though I'm not entirely sure how yet." Haru peered back at Takumi, who was following her but was entirely oblivious that he was their topic of discussion. "From what he told me before, it's some kind of curse. I'm not sure if their family has always carried it, or if at some point in their history, they messed with the wrong people. The end result is the same: he sees differently than any other shinigami in existence."

"Sort of like you, right?" Haru smiled and tilted her head back, contemplating his words as she did so.

_A being that can change fate without consequence… it seems so obvious, but something tells me the language is veiled. What do you think, Suzaku?_

_Have you not already demonstrated your capacity to change fate? You lived when you were destined to die._

_This is true, _Haru answered, _but that worries me. What if that statement can work in reverse?_

_I will not allow it to. _She smiled and paused, but a voice jolted her out of her thoughts. By the time she perceived the impending threat, she had already been tackled to the ground by Mashiro, who proceeded to nearly choke the life out of her.

"Haru-chan! Why'd you have to leave so suddenly, neh? Kensei was really worried about you…"

"F… fantastic…"

"Neh, Haru-chan… why do you always worry people all the time? Is it because you enjoy it? That's kind of mean, don't you think? Neh, Haru-chan…" Takumi and Hinamori witnessed his one-sided dialogue with complete inaction. To begin with, they were unsure of what to do, and in addition, they both wondered if anything could even be done, considering they had virtually no place there. Soon enough, their captain was saved by another external force, an infuriated roar that caused them both to jolt in surprise.

"For the gods' sakes, get off of her!" Immediately, the green-haired child-like being scurried behind Hinamori, who followed her with her eyes as Takumi regarded the oddly varied group that approached. The silver-haired one immediately hung a hand over Haru's head. "Hey, you going to live?"

"Probably," she answered, smiling and reaching towards it, then recoiling with a hiss of pain.

"Haru…"

"I'll be alright. Just give me a moment." She sat up and shook her head slightly, pressing a hand to it and glancing up at Kensei.

"It seems that Haru-chan is still injured." This comment came from Rose, who eyed her with the mild concern of a good friend. "What in heaven's name happened to make you leave so quickly?"

"Oh, just a routine hollow attack…"

"Routine?" Hiyori demanded. "That ain't what ya told me…"

"You say that as if I should take pride in killing." With a scoff, she wrapped her hand around Kensei's wrist, and he pulled her to her feet, watching her sway slightly before catching her balance. She straightened her captain's haori and dusted herself off. Then, she proceeded to deliver one of her classic placid smiles. "It's so nice to see everyone again, but I can't help but note Shinji's absence."

"Yer here to see that dumb-ass?"

"As he was the one I made the promise to, yes."

"And you needed escorts for that?" Lisa asked this question as she peered at Takumi, whose eye was still moving from face to face, and Hinamori, who was distraught both by the sudden numbers of these strange beings and my Mashiro's close proximity. "You know how we feel about outsiders, Haru."

"I am more than aware, but don't think I'll be dragging the entire fifth division down here. These two are special cases; they chose to follow me. I felt that I should give them an idea of exactly what they had chosen to follow."

"What do you think?" Love murmured. "They harmless, Hachi?"

"They seem so, at least for the moment." He folded his hands and peered critically at Takumi, who nodded slightly before turning his gaze elsewhere. "Did they give you trouble at all?"

"The blond one wouldn't stand still. I didn't fight the girl."

"He can follow your movements, then," Kensei murmured. "That's uncommon."

"Even for a vice captain?"

"The last captain you dragged down here wasn't even capable of such things," Hachi stated. "Then again, we did catch him off-guard, and his vice captain as well. I presume that since Hiyori had already revealed her presence, he was able to dodge." Haru detected a signal in his voice and glanced to Hiyori, who had already moved and attempted to thrust her foot against Takumi's face, but he casually stepped aside and flashed out of sight as her sword cut through the air where he had just been.

"Hiyori-san, please take it easy on him. He hasn't exactly recovered, either."

"He seems to be movin' just fine to me…"

"Looks can be deceiving," she answered simply. "For that reason, I ask that you leave him alone."

"Hell, no! I ain't taking orders from any shinigami, even if it's you!"

"Did you hear me demand anything? I simply asked you to let him be. Whether you do or not is entirely up to you." Hiyori grumbled a slew of expletives as she slid her sword back into its sheath. "I expect that you extend the same courtesy to Momo-san as well, if it isn't too much to ask." Hinamori, suddenly feeling like she was part of the scene and not just some onlooker, tensed up briefly when she felt a pair of hands on her shoulder and saw the girl who was hiding behind her peer over it.

"Neh, neh… are you Haru-chan's vice captain?"

"I… iie. I'm… I'm her sanseki."

"That so?" she inquired. "But you seem stronger than that."

"I used to be a vice captain," Hinamori answered with a slight smile, "but I stepped down, because of personal reasons." Mashiro withdrew and pouted in a manner that suggested deep thought. "What… what's wrong? Do you… not think I should have?"

"Iie." She paused again, then grinned. "It's just I didn't realize we had so much in common."

"In… common?" Hinamori stammered.

"That's right." Haru peered towards the sky and locked her hands behind her back, taking on a somewhat stern appearance despite the placid expression on her face. "The ones you see around you were all high-ranked officers in Soul Society at one time. There's the ex-vice captain of the kidou corps, the ex-vice captains of divisions eight, nine, and twelve, and the ex-captains of divisions three, five, and seven."

"The fifth division?" Takumi inquired, suddenly curious.

"Hai, though he is absent at the moment." Haru sighed and pressed a hand to her head. "He can be so troublesome when he wants to be… but our conversation has grown a little dark, I suppose. Now, where could Shinji-san have gone off to?"

"Try askin' Ichigo," Hiyori suggested. "He came by earlier askin' for help with somethin'…"

"I almost forgot about that. He was making such a fuss, too," Rose noted.

"Do you remember what he came for?"

"Something about some kid wandering off and them going on a wild goose chase. I don't know, but something tells me it wasn't his idea."

"Wish I would've known that sooner," Takumi stated, locking his hands behind his head and causing several pairs of eyes to turn towards him. "On the way here, I passed a kid who I swore could see me."

"Baka!" Hinamori shouted. "Why didn't you say something?"

"Because taichou was in a hurry! It's not like she has all day here! I was trying to be considerate!"

"How exactly is that being considerate?"

"I don't know… I guess it's a miracle I'm even making an effort!" Hinamori nearly shouted something back, but a light laughter prevented him from doing so. Haru observed them while covering her mouth with her hand, and once she had stopped herself, she dropped her hand and gave an elated smile.

"Taichou…"

"By all means, don't let me stop you. I merely find it fascinating that you two argue like a married couple." They exchanged glances, studied each other for a moment, and instantly peered away as they each began turning red.

"Oh?" Hiyori stated, sliding closer with a smirk on her face. "I think I get those 'personal reasons' ya spoke of earlier, Momo."

"I… it's not like that at all…"

"Deny it all ya want. Ya got that same dumb look on yer face that Haru gets whenever she's thinkin' about that Byakuya guy, and you…" Hiyori thrust a finger at Takumi, who blinked in surprise. "Earlier, ya stepped in front of her. She mean somethin' to ya?"

"I… really don't think that's any of your business," he answered.

"Come on, now… we're all Haru's friends here, right? And friends of friends are close enough." As Takumi continued his denial, accompanied by Hinamori's equally passionate avoidances, and Hiyori began to tease them once more, Haru smiled and turned to the vizard.

"I suppose this is where I leave you for now. I thank you immensely for bringing me back from the brink of death, helping me recover, and putting up with my habit of keeping secrets." She paused and bowed in thanks to all of them, then went to each individually, exchanging a wave or a nod, a handshake in Kensei's case, an amiable embrace in Hachi's, and another suffocating hug from Mashiro, accompanied by tears and pleas that she wouldn't leave. "Mashiro-chan," she sighed. "It's alright. If I don't leave, then I can't come back."

"Damn it, stop being so annoying!" Kensei shouted, half dragging her away. Haru waved and smiled as their distance increased, then turned to Hiyori, who was still preoccupied with teasing the living daylights out of Hinamori and Takumi. Haru interrupted by setting a hand on Hiyori's shoulder and passing through her line of sight. As she walked away, she raised the same hand, tipping it slightly in a silent farewell. Hiyori nearly moved to go after her, but by the time she thought of it, Haru had vanished from sight, no doubt propelled by some urgency and the speed of her shunpo. Takumi folded his arms and bowed his head for a moment, reflecting on how flighty his captain seemed despite their situation. Even as he thought, a distinct image began to form itself.

"She must be in a hurry," Lisa stated. "Half the time, I don't know what she's thinking, and the other half, I don't think I want to know." She paused and peered at Hinamori, who seemed to be reflecting on her words. "Is she always like that?"

"For as long as I've known her, and probably longer." Hinamori sighed and peered in the direction of her captain. Takumi was also peering in the same direction, but with quite a different look on his face. It wasn't one of loyalty or longing; it bore the full concern and dread of someone who saw with unbreakable certainty the dark shadow lingering in the near future. He took one step forward as if his actions were not his own, as if some invisible thread pulled him in her direction. As he passed, he felt something latch onto his arm, which broke his state of intense concentration and caused him to peer at Hinamori. "Maybe this is something she needs to do on her own. Otherwise, why would she have left us here?"

"That isn't what I'm concerned about," he answered. He wouldn't say anymore, but the look in his visible eye grew more determined as he stared at Hinamori. She seemed to gather some meaning from his peculiar behavior, and when he strode forward again, she moved with him. "Gomen. It seems we have to take our leave. It was nice meeting you!" She added an amiable wave to her declaration but staggered slightly because of her inattentiveness and soon turned her full focus to the direction her feet were moving in.

"Does anyone else here think that was peculiar?" Rose inquired, tilting his head and watching as they moved further away.

"Who are we to question them?" Hiyori put in, folding her arms. "It's a shinigami matter. Let them sort it out. It's got nothing to do with us." No one objected to her statements, yet each privately held a curiosity about Takumi's peculiar behavior, as well as a mild concern for Haru, who, despite her vast power of reason, seemed more injured than she was willing to show.

* * *

><p><em>Haru-sama…<em>

_Yes, Suzaku? _she responded as she set another foot down in front of the other and propelled herself forward.

_This is not good for your body. You should rest._

_I'll be fine._

_Look, even if you can move, that doesn't mean you always should. I know better than anyone that your injuries are still plaguing you. And also, I know that the rigors I have been putting you through are so... unforgiving on your body._

_As I said earlier, I will be fine. If I start feeling weary, then I'll rest. _Haru leapt to the street below and tipped her head back with a smile. _Honestly, you worry too much. _As she lowered her eyes to the ground, she caught sight of a small shadow peering directly at her. She paused, folding her hands behind her head and looking at the figure with a higher degree of scrutiny. Suddenly, it disappeared around the corner, and Haru, flustered by its shyness or avoidance, flashed after it. She stepped between the child and the rest of his path, and he skidded to a stop, regarding her scornfully despite her entirely amiable appearance. She regarded him for a moment further before dropping to one knee and peering into his eyes, large, stormy orbs full of a typhoon's unforgiving fury, framed by a mop of sandy hair that would have spilled over them if his head had been bowed. "You can see me, can't you?" His expression became even more displeased. "Are you mad that I caught you?"

"I'm mad that a shinigami caught me." Perplexed by his response, Haru tilted her head and let her brows fall together.

"Would you rather I had been a hollow?" Again, he turned away and refused to answer. With a sigh, she shook her head, having long forgotten the obstinacy of children. "At least tell me why you're alone. Someone your age, and with your capabilities, shouldn't be walking around by himself." He hesitated a moment more before seeing that her friendliness was not condescending and that it was just as persistent as his reticence was. His gaze was still stern, and while he remained silent, a touch of color appeared in them. "Are you running away from something?" He nodded. "Can you tell me what, or am I asking too much for a shinigami?"

"There's something my dad wants me to do, but I'll have to go away to do it."

"You're so young, though," Haru stated. "Are you somewhere around five years old?"

"Six."

"Yare, yare…" Haru sighed and rested her hands on her knees before shifting into a crouch. She couldn't stop herself from expressing her relief with another sigh.

"I'm plenty old enough to go if I want to!"

"I don't doubt that. It's just… at your age, I didn't even have a father."

"Why not? Did he leave you?"

"Something like that."

"Then why didn't you follow him?" Haru's expression turned grim, and she dropped her gaze.

"Because where he went, I couldn't follow him." A few brief memories flashed in her mind of her happy years, followed inevitably by their tragic decay and their partial restoration by Urahara. "But even so, I needed someone to take care of me. Why does your father want to send you away? Does he think your ability is strange?"

"Otousan doesn't know I can see spirits," he replied in the haughtiness of a proud youth. "He wants me to learn how to, and there's someone here that can teach me. That's why we came. But I don't want to stay here. I want to go home with him."

"I happen to have some fond memories here."

"It's not a bad place," he added, then realized he had shown a slight measure of courtesy to her and turned his sour expression away.

"I understand." Haru stood and faced a gentle gust of wind. "If you want me to, maybe I can talk to him."

"Like he'd listen to a shinigami."

"Well, I'll never know unless I try. Listen…" Her gentle tone commanded him to look, and he turned his head towards her. "Even if he wants to send you away, I'm sure it isn't because he wants you to leave. In fact, he's probably worried about you because you didn't tell him where you were going." Haru stood and tiled her head back, shutting her eyes as a tendril of hair slid against her cheek. She peered down at the child, who studied her with his large, colorless eyes. Now that she looked at them, she could see the slight hint of blue in them, overpowered by the stormy gray. She smiled warmly again, but he rejected her friendly gesture by crossing his arms and turning away with a huff. "Come on. Let's go."

"I can go myself!"

"I would let you, but I detect some hollow in the area." She peered to the rooftops around her, which were at present devoid of anything but a touch of sunlight. "Can you fight them?"

"I have ways!"

"Really, now?" Despite his protests, Haru lifted him off the ground and held him at eye level for a moment. Her arms were steady despite his wild kicking. "I won't ask about methods, but I guarantee you that your size and your speed put you at a disadvantage. Besides, if I let you get hurt, I wouldn't be able to face your father long enough to give him a greeting, let alone discuss this with…"

"I'll handle it myself."

"So stubborn," she stated with a smile. "Do you have a name, or will you withhold that, too?"

"It's Hiroto!" He kicked in her general direction, but his strike fell short. "Put me down! I'm from a powerful family, and if you don't let me go, I'll have them come after you!" Haru obeyed, still smiling in dismay at his antipathy of her. Once she had set him down, he retreated. Some sort of hesitance snaked across the eye peering at her. No doubt, that same force stopped him. It was vague, but she supposed she had some idea of the hollow as well.

"Do you know why I carry a zanpakutoh?"

"You like killing."

"On the contrary," Haru answered, "I despise killing. This weapon isn't for killing. It exists for one reason and one reason alone: to protect. Soul Society, Karakura, my own family, my friends, my comrades in arms, my coworkers, my pride… if there is something I wish to protect, then I will swing this sword to protect it. That includes you."

"Baka! If you knew what you were protecting…"

"This sword is different than other zanpakutoh. While it cares about its wielder's safety as many zanpakutoh do, it also desires liberation from every social barrier in existence."

"So?"

"So..." She knelt down and looked him in the eye. "I really don't care what you are. The strong protect those who cannot protect themselves, knowing that one day, they too may be in a helpless situation that requires they be protected. For that reason, I ask that you tolerate my company long enough for me to find your father." She could tell that Hiroto, as he called himself, was still unwilling to trust her. Her sigh became difficult, and she rested one hand against her hip as she turned her eyes upward again and reached with her right hand towards the sun. She caressed its edge with her fingertips, then grasped for the rays falling against her palm, closing her hand only on empty air.

"Why are you reaching up there?" It was the first question he had asked her. Haru dropped her gaze and peered dolefully at him for a moment, perhaps surprising him because she had been so cheerful until that moment. "Do you dream of flying, too?" She blinked and lowered her empty hand. Her lips parted slightly as the unspoken truth dawned upon her. Suddenly, her face broke into a different kind of smile, and she dropped to her knee again, resting a gentle hand on his head. Initially, he recoiled, but once he accepted the pressure, he looked up at her.

"Would you like to know… what flying feels like, Hiroto-kun?"

"You can fly?" he asked.

"In a manner of speaking." Haru moved her hand back and forth slightly. "I can't fly in the sense that a bird can, but I can show you how I… how a shinigami… can fly despite not having any real wings to speak of."

"Really?" His gaze grew ecstatic, and his small hands closed into fists as he raised them in anticipation. Then, in an instant, he smoothed his eagerness and dropped his gaze. "Nah… it's not possible, not even for a shinigami."

"Maybe not for a regular shinigami, but I can fly. Here," Haru stated, turning around and placing her knee on the ground. "Put your arms around my neck. I'll show you." He hesitated again, biting his lower lip and gazing at her. "Come on. What's the worst that could happen?" Irritated at her boldness, he did as she asked, but much more loosely than she would have liked. She locked her hands behind her back and provided him with more support. "Hold on tight."

"What for?" No sooner had he asked the question that Haru had quite suddenly vaulted into the air, causing him to immediately shutter and bury his face against the back side of her neck. Upon detecting the sensation of falling, he emitted a cry of trepidation, but she soon bounded speedily off in a pre-selected direction. The wind rushed past them on both sides, and every now and then, she would launch herself into the air again, leaping from roof to roof.

"Hiroto-kun?"

"H… hai?" Detecting the fear in his tone, she smiled.

"You looked down, didn't you?" In response, he only clung tighter, drawing a slight cough from Haru. "Don't hold on too tightly, or you'll choke me."

"It's scary… can't you go slower?"

"Iie," Haru answered. "If I go slower, I don't get the feeling."

"Then don't jump so high." She sighed and balanced momentarily on a telephone pole overlooking Karakura. Hiroto was out of breath and trembling. "Scary… it's scary…"

"It takes a little getting used to, this flying business," Haru stated. "Listen, I'm going to jump again, and this time, I want you to open your eyes."

"I can't…"

"I swear I won't let you fall, and I'm not one to break promises." He clung tighter and buried his face in her shoulder with a whimper. She closed her eyes and smiled again; it reminded her vaguely of her first time being up that high. Shortly after both her parents had died, Yoruichi had taken her up like that. She had been terrified, too, of moving so fast and being so far off the ground. The world seemed so much smaller when she was up there, and seeing something she had once viewed as unbelievably large shrink down to nothing was, at first, terrifying. "The first time I came up here, I felt so separate from everything. Now, strange as it seems, doing things like this just reminds me of how integrated I am with the world. I feel this sort of oneness, a kinship, maybe, with everything when I'm up here, but to feel it, you have to relax." It seemed like a lot to ask of a child, but Haru knew inevitably that he would come around. Slowly, his trembling ceased, his tension waned, and in the end, he had enough of a hold on her neck to secure himself. She adjusted her footing slightly and let her eyes fall shut. "I will tell you when to open them. When I do, don't look down."

"Not down? But why?"

"It reminds you that for every flight there is a fall. Instead, I want you to look up towards the sky, alright?"

"H… hai," he said, this time with a little more confidence. Haru adjusted her footing again, drawing a slow breath and considering which way to go. After giving it some thought, she shot upwards again. As she felt her body slow and succumb to the pull of gravity, she opened her own eyes and waited only a moment more before telling Hiroto to do the same. He peered upward at the clouds and the sun, which seemed no more nearer than they had, but the sight of that endless blue, full of misty white plant matter of various shapes and textures, as well as the winged fish that darted through the air, drew from him an exhilarated breath. "Su… sugoi!" This time, he wasn't immediately afraid as they started to descend. He reserved a tighter grip until he knew that Haru was about to land. Only then did he wind his arms around her shoulders. Still, he couldn't take his eyes off of the sky. "But how? How can you be capable of something like this? You're a shinigami, aren't you?"

"I am indeed," Haru stated as she raced along. "You wish to know the reason I can move this way. Well, the answer is simple."

"What is it?"

"The sun." Hiroto removed his eyes from the sky to see if he could glimpse Haru's expression. One violet eye was visible, and even though it was locked on her current path, he could still see the glimmers of sentiment in it. "My namesake, and the thing I will never stop aiming for, not even if this endeavor ends with my plummeting." Fortunately, he fell silent after she delivered that answer. It gave her time to think about things, things that children certainly didn't need to know about. _My foremost matter is Byakuya-sama. I try not to worry about him, but the way he cast me out this morning… the look in his eyes… it was almost as if he questioned whether or not he would see me again. As if that isn't enough, I have to consider what tactics Soul Society can employ against Aizen when he attacks. Then, there is Grimmjow-san. Could I fight him if I had to? _The thought dragged slowly across her mind as she changed direction, detecting some small hollow disturbances nearby. Haru heaved a sigh. _Living in this uncertain way… it's horrible. It's the same feeling I had in Hueco Mundo, and even while my safety is less precarious here, it means I am closer to the object of my temptations. _

Haru had, until that point, flashed along as if no thought weighed her down. Suddenly, though, her balance was skewed, and she was sliding down a steeply-sloped roof. She considered just letting herself fall, for it was a sensation she needed to remember, but the hands around her neck tightened as a whimper struck her ear, and at the last moment, she reached out. Her feet swayed beneath her as she clung to the gutter, biting her lip as its metal sliced into her palm slightly and jarred her wounded shoulder. A few red drops descended with traces of snow and eventually vanished into the whiteness below. She tried to pull herself back up but emitted a hiss of pain and dropped her head. "Hey, you okay?"

"I… it's just a small cut… nothing to worry about." She shut her eyes and tried to gather her thoughts, but they wouldn't come together properly. With an exasperated sigh, she swung and tried to wrap her other hand around the gutter's edge. After several unsuccessful attempts, she nearly had it when the child wrapped around her neck pulled on her haori with a sort of desperation. "I'm working on it. Just give me a minute." As she swung back and forth, he gave another tug, this one more desperate than the last. "Not now."

"Look!" he demanded, pointing to her right. She did as she had been told, saw the true object of his trepidation, and released her grasp, landing on her feet and starting to retreat before stopping and pressing her hand against her shoulder. When she drew her palm away, she found that a faint trace of blood lingered there. She flexed the fingers of her wounded hand and winced when the pain echoed through her joint.

"Kuso," Haru retorted. "Let go, Hiroto-kun."

"What are you going to do?"

"When I'm bleeding this much, it's senseless to run. They'll just track us down." She felt the arms at her neck loosen, then tighten again in complete defiance of her request. "I'm the one they're after."

"You're wrong." Haru peered at him momentarily and saw that his eyes suddenly seemed vibrant. "You're not the one. I am."

"What makes you think they'd waste time on you?" He cast his eyes away anxiously. "Hiroto-kun…"

"I'm not human." Haru received the news with slight shock. She had had her suspicions in the first place; then again, both Chad and Orihime were human, yet they had spiritual power from their lengthy exposure to Ichigo. He cast his eye away again, then dropped off, landing on his feet and peering up at her. "If you run, you'll live."

"Nani?" she stammered. "But aren't you afraid to die?"

"Yeah, I suppose," he answered, "but of the two of us, I figure I've had a happier life."

"Demo…" She turned an eye over her shoulder. Several hollow were hovering in the air; the number had increased since she had last taken notice of them.

"And I can tell… even though I don't know you at all, and even though you're a shinigami… I can tell there are lots of things you haven't finished doing yet." Haru stared at him for a moment, wondering what manner of child she was dealing with. She had been that serious at his age, but she had never known another to think in quite that manner.

_This boy… _Haru continued peering at him. _What sort of life has he been living? Why can he say he'll die so easily? _

"Go," he said again, this time with a smile, a sloppy attempt to hide his fear. It lasted for only one more moment before it melted into a lachrymose expression of fear. He bowed his head and wiped his eyes, sniffling quietly because he knew that, as of yet, he lacked the strength to defend himself. "I mean it. Go. I'm part of a very powerful family. I won't stand for being defended by a shinigami. My pride won't allow it. Go!" Haru remained stationary despite his insistence. Then, gently, she dropped her uninjured hand onto his head. She moved it back and forth, sighing as she looked into his conflicted eyes.

"Gomen," she stated. "I can't do that."

"Baka! If you fight the way you are, you might die, and you'll have to kill them! I don't… I don't want that…" She removed her hand and tilted her eyes towards the sun. The wind touched her face and dusted away a smoky sigh that would otherwise have lingered. Once she shoved the notion of pain into the back of her mind, her hands moved upward and caressed the arc of the sun again, whose rays caught the cross dangling from her left wrist. She felt the child's eyes examining it with shock and bewilderment. At least she had been right about that from the beginning. As she lowered her arms, she breathed one last sigh before turning on her heel and pacing forward.

_It is a truth he can't understand yet, _she told herself as she shot into the air, not willing to wait any longer than she had. _It is one I have only come to understand recently. _She got her footing on the roof again and gave her surroundings a cursory glance. There were six or seven hollow, all relatively large in size. As she stared them down, she set one hand on her zanpakutoh. The other, she slipped behind her back. _It is one of the saddest truths in this world, that we are sometimes forced to destroy in order to preserve the things we hold dear. Is this truth selfish or altruistic, reason or madness, hypocrisy or candor? _Haru shifted her weight slightly and let her eyes fall shut for a moment._ I know this truth, but… its nature eludes me._

The moment the spirit particles gave the slightest shift, she shot towards the sky. The first hollow she came level with, she gave a swift and powerful cut, having drawn her sword before reaching the apex of her flight. She used its gigantic face to further aid her in her movement. The moment she had flashed away, it fell in two and disintegrated. _One, _she said to herself. The next lost only an arm on the first swing, but on her way down, she looped her finger through the gap at the top of her Seele Schneider, pulled it free, and delivered the mortal slice to its mask. _Two. _The following hollow was prepared for an attack, but it lacked the means to defend itself or the speed to escape. When her feet touched a solid surface, she shot towards it, vanished just as one if its scythe-like appendages sliced through the air, and reappeared behind it. She made no effort to count her cuts; she merely acknowledged their result with a simple inward, _Three_.

Haru threw her petrifyingly sharp eyes from one hollow to the other, keeping her zanpakutoh at the ready at all times. She detected a movement and made an upward cut with her Seele that sent a fountain of blood into the air but did not end in the death of her attacker. _Considering their strength, they may have been sent by Aizen. Still, it's rather troublesome that I have to deal with them in my condition, and with my limiters. _Haru winced as a particularly sharp pain raced through her hip and wobbled slightly. _Iie… not now…_ That delay nearly ended in catastrophe, but Haru had divided her attention in such a way that allowed her to detect and counter the attack moving towards her. She cut through the hollow's closed fist, then leapt onto its arm, bolting upwards. It opened its mouth to unleash a blast of cero, but Haru, anticipating the blow, launched herself at an angle that allowed her to slam her foot against her opponent's lower jaw. She arced backwards until her head was facing the ground, then curled her own feet inward. When she landed again, she flashed out of sight and reappeared directly above it, then slice downward and landed again. _Four._

She landed in a crouch, aware that the effort was causing her to lose energy quickly. She refrained from breathing raggedly but dropped her eyes for a moment, finding that Hiroto's were fixed on her. She could read his thoughts clearly despite not having any special capacity for doing so; it was easy to see that he was entirely enthralled with her manner of fighting. She gave him a placid smile and a slight wave, but his expression turned to horror the moment she detected movement. The three remaining hollow had decided to attack her together. _Alright. Three against three, then, _she thought, sliding one foot behind her and extending both her zanpakutoh and her seele so that they were parallel with the horizon. Haru's head tipped back until she caught sight of the sun and felt a strange sort of ease come over her. Then, she flashed out of sight.

She took the injured one first, slicing through its skull before twisting her entire body to evade the blow that was meant to crush her. Her foot tapped against hollow's tail as it passed under her, and she used the force to her advantage, immediately bolting towards it with both of her weapons raised. Immediately detecting the cero behind her, she shot upwards, twisting her body so her face was towards the sun and waiting until she was at her pinnacle. _A little more… just a little more… _Something broke her focus momentarily, though, a reiatsu that was both familiar and far too close for comfort. _Is that your plan, then? Will you attempt to fool me? _She let a bitter smile cross her face. Her head hung towards the ground, but her eye remained on the sun. Using her capacity to manipulate spirit particles, she formed a temporary solid surface just above her feet. She set them briefly against it, moving her eyes towards the still absorbed Hiroto, then to the hollow just below her. Then, she shoved her feet against the reishi with enough force to shatter their structure and send them floating individually through the air. At that speed, she only needed to deliver one cut to kill it. _Kuso… if I do kill it this way, I won't have enough time…_

As Haru's thoughts trailed away, she turned her body again and extended her foot. The speed at which her kick was delivered drove the creature's head against the pavement. She sealed the Seele and tucked it back in her obi. Then, she locked eyes with the hollow before uttering one word and leaping back. "Sou… katsui." She flashed away, and the pitiful thing released its final cry before crumbling to dust. By then, Haru had sheathed her zanpakutoh as well, sacrificing everything for speed. As Hiroto studied the scene, his expression of admiration didn't change, not until a white figure cut off his sight, and a strange light that instinctively made the pit of his stomach fall out. He was going to die. Having seen something so magnificent before death didn't pacify him in the least; he wanted to keep living. It wasn't fair, being taken away from that world at his age and being prevented from becoming what he was destined to be… but perhaps fate cared nothing for his desires... or anyone else's. Although he lacked the words to describe these emotions, he still felt them with the acuteness with anyone six times his age.

The gleam shifted forward, and he shrank back, casting his resentful and disappointed tears downwards, but that immensely powerful cero never touched him. It faded from his sight. Bewildered, he peered upwards, seeing that the hollow, who bore a more human shape than any he had ever seen, was still holding up his hand with the intention of destroying him but had been stopped by the unarmed shield that had stepped between them. Haru stood partly crouched, her arms outstretched, her expression firm and undaunted. Shock, followed by fury, crossed the hollow's face. He drew his arm back and thrust it forward again, but he got no further than he had last time. The cero lingered in front of Haru's heart, its power fluctuating, its glow painting her eyes with an unruly light. "Well," she stated, "are you going to kill me, Grimmjow-san?" An outraged growl rose in his throat, but try as he may, his arm seemed locked in place, hovering over Haru's most vulnerable spot. "If you fire that cero straight into my heart, you will kill me."

"I know that!"

"Then why don't you just do it?" She saw his hand waver again from her peripheral vision, but her eyes remained locked on his. If he were human, she would have labeled their precise look as turmoil, but since he was a hollow, she considered the possibility that she may not have been reading them right. Their stare down continued for an ephemeral eternity. She drew a breath and shut her eyes, prepared to receive her final blow and daring to hope against hope that somehow, Hiroto would survive, but some shift in the air broke her focus. She opened her eyes to see Grimmjow clench his fist, and the cero he had threatened to fire moments before disintegrated. Haru took a moment to express her surprise, then smiled and relaxed her arms. "I don't understand how we're supposed to fight each other when we can't bring ourselves to do it now."

"I'd never fight you."

"Nande?"

"Because I know I'd lose."

"If you're referring to Nnoitora-san…"

"That's not it." Suddenly, the weight of his hand rested against her shoulder. She winced slightly as she recalled the pain, but he didn't withdraw. Startled, Haru peered to him, but his eyes avoided her entirely. "There's something in your spirit… hell, this is crazy. I don't know what it is, but for some reason…" She tilted her head slightly, studying him for a moment before bowing her head with a smile. "There's something different about you."

"I know," Haru replied.

"What are you doing to yourself?" Her eyes glinted sharply, but she said nothing. "There are gaps between your movements now that weren't there before. That's something I or any other espada could easily take advantage of. Is it because you're still injured, or is it... something else?" He studied her expression, which gave no answer aside from its sharp glimmer, and gave a sardonic laugh. "Guess even you have chinks in your armor, chibi honou." One moment later, he felt something slam against his skull. The next moment, he sank to the ground and set loose a flurry of expletives. Haru withdrew and clenched her left shoulder, dropping to one knee as her head spun with pain. "What the hell are you trying to do, kill me?" he roared, holding his cranium as a trickle of blood ran between his eyes. "If you're going to do it, at least take your own damn condition into consideration!"

"Kuso…" she breathed at last, throwing her head back and taking in a deep breath. "It was well worth the pain to crack your damn skull open for using that absurd nickname."

"Ho?" he inquired. "You're calling it absurd, now?"

"My name is Haru. Yamashita Haru. Call me some variant of that, or else don't call me anything at all."

"It fits you just fine. You've got a temper to match that name perfectly, chibi honou…"

"That's chibi honou-taichou to you, baka neko!" she shouted. Hiroto, having recovered his wits and realizing that he wasn't dead, gaped slightly at their verbal exchange. Once Haru realized he was watching, she shook her head slightly. "Grimmjow-san." At the serious note in Haru's voice, he peered to her, seeing that her expression was one of angst and trepidation. "Forgive me, but I must warn you… that if you go after this child again, I will have to raise my sword against you."

"That just a warning?"

"It was a polite threat," Haru answered, heaving a sigh. "Take it for what it's worth. Now, if you'll excuse me…" She had hardly taken one step before dropping to one knee again. Seeing that it was futile to move any further, she shifted to a kneeling position after catching her breath and resting Suzaku in the crook of her arm. "Kuso… I'm at my limit."

"Already?"

"I'm limited to ten percent here, and besides that, I'm still injured."

"From five days ago, or from your escape before?" She turned her eyes away and smiled slightly.

"Both."

"Baka!" he shouted. "Why the hell are you fighting then?"

"I told you before, didn't I? I will fight to protect until my body turns to dust."

"It's going to if you don't take it easy." He stared at her again. "Whatever you're doing to yourself, just knock it off." Haru folded her hands and stared at him. "Don't get the wrong idea! I'm not worried or anything! I just don't want to think about you dying!"

"You don't need to justify yourself, Grimmjow-san," she answered calmly. "Your reasons are your own." He looked at her for a moment, his pupils narrowing slightly before returning to a more ovular shape.

"You knew about your timing." Haru nodded slightly. "You think it's something you did?"

"I think it's a combination of things." The placid smile returned to her lips. "Don't worry too much about it."

"I already told you, I'm not worried!"

"Yare, yare… and you say I have the temper…" Her comment pacified him for the moment. He returned to his original position: sitting cross-legged with his head resting in one palm, gazing away from her. "Perhaps you should go, Grimmjow-san."

"Why would I?"

"Well, for one thing, I'm a shinigami…"

"Since when have I given a rat's ass?"

"And for another, I feel several reiatsu drawing closer."

"Why the hell didn't you say that first?" Grimmjow demanded, throwing a leer in with his words.

"I just assumed you noticed them, too." He rose and turned away.

"This ain't over."

"I assumed as much." He cast one teal eye over his shoulder, then vanished. She watched him go with some relief that he wouldn't be caught, at least not directly, by those approaching. As she mopped her forehead, she looked to Hiroto again. "Thank you for your patience." It seemed such a normal thing to say despite the spectacle he had just witnessed that all he could do was give a slight nod. "I know it's probably very strange to you, that a shinigami and a hollow can just sit down and interact that way, and to be quite honest, I've never really been good at explaining the particulars, or the reasons why we still act the way we do, but—"

"You are—" He paused, realizing he had interrupted her, and raised his eyes when he wasn't rebuked for his terrible manners. "Then you are… Yamashita Haru?" She got to her feet with some difficulty and nodded her ascent. "I don't get it. You're the head of the family, right? So why are you carrying me around like you're some kind of servant? Why don't you treat me like a kid or say no once in a while, and why are you always smiling like that?" Haru tried to suppress the smile and failed. She set a hand gently on his head.

"I carried you because I wanted to, Hiroto-kun. I needed to feel the air and the sun. I wanted to share that experience with you. As for the way I treat you, I see some very mature ideas in you. You value life regardless of what that life is. You profess a hatred of shinigami, but you learned to trust me. Hai… you remind me of myself when I was your age. That's around the time I met him." Haru gestured to where Grimmjow had been standing moments before. "And… as for this smile…" Her hand dropped from his head, and the smile he had alluded to faltered as she fell to her knees. Hiroto, alarmed, pushed against her right shoulder and shook it.

"Haru-dono! Haru-dono!" he called. Haru peered up at him, and instantly, his expression froze in shock. Her eyes, hazy with agony, lingered on his own for a moment before her head dropped into a bow. To reassure him, she lifted her uninjured hand and placed it gently on his shoulder.

"This smile… is all I have… to hide my pain." She must have blacked out for a moment. She remembered feeling the distinct sensation of her hand slipping away, remembered uttering those words, but as she stirred and opened her eyes to the blinding light of consciousness, tinted yellow-orange for some reason she couldn't quite process, she couldn't remember falling. She perceived a flood of cold air in her lungs, slower now than it had been before, and immediately sat up, hunching over and wrapping a hand around her shoulder as she shook off the remnants of oblivion. She rubbed both of her eyes with the hand she thought she had cut. With one glance, she ascertained what she had first suspected, that it was no longer injured. Then, it suddenly dawned upon her that she was surrounded by a number of familiar faces. Confused, she peered from one to the other before grinning sheepishly and scratching her head. "O… ohayo…"

"Haru-sama!" Ishida said sharply from her left. He checked himself before continuing. "In the future, please consider your own condition before putting forth too much effort."

"Hai, hai…"

"I'm serious!"

"I know. Gomen… I guess I just overdid it a bit."

"A bit?" he echoed incredulously. "You could barely breathe when we got here! That's more than just a bit, don't you think?"

"It's nothing to worry about, really…" Haru waived her hands with a smile and scanned the faces once more. Takumi eyed her momentarily, then glanced away. Hinamori was standing next to her, holding onto his arm. To the right, she spotted Orihime, whom Ishida was sitting next to. Lurking a fair pace off was Shinji, who studied her with folded arms and an irate yet somewhat pleased smile. Her eyes moved back to Ishida, to the child sitting next to him and staring at Haru with curious eyes. "I should apologize to you, Hiroto-kun. I know nobles aren't supposed to lose their cool or pass out in the middle of the street, but I still haven't grown into it, I suppose."

"Cry when you want."

"Come again?" she inquired.

"I said cry when you want. What's the point in acting happy all the time if you're actually miserable? It's weird, even for someone like you." Hiroto gave an expression of displeasure as Ishida gently tapped his knuckles against the child's cranium. A pair of irritated eyes immediately moved to him.

"Show some respect."

"Iie, it's fine," she answered, waving her hands. "He's honest. I like that in a child. Hell, I like that in everyone."

"You're too kind-hearted, Haru-sama," he sighed, raising the same hand to his head. "He's a disrespectful kid, you know."

"I think he's rather insightful," she returned. "And besides, we had fun together. Isn't that right, Hiroto-kun?"

"Hai!" he answered eagerly. "The way you fight is really cool! It really looks like you're flying almost!"

"Really?" Haru tilted her head and considered it, then smiled. A troubled expression crossed his face, and he lowered his eyes. Once Orihime had finished, Haru rose to her feet, half staggered, and picked herself up again. She moved her shoulder, which felt infinitely better, and jumped up and down on one foot, finding that her hip had also recovered. She knelt down and ruffled his hair gently. "Don't look so downhearted, Hiroto-kun. I don't only smile when I'm troubled, you know." His large eyes focused on her for a moment. Then, she stood and stretched. "You sidetracked me quite a bit, but I'm glad to have met you, Hiroto-kun. I came here on business, and I'm afraid if I don't get it done soon, I'll probably worry the person I didn't tell about my departure." He tilted his head slightly, peering not at her but past her.

"Is this person a man?"

"Hai."

"Taller than you?"

"By a head, perhaps a little more."

"Is he a captain?"

"Indeed, he is," Haru stated in a cheerful voice. He leaned to one side again, then glanced back to her.

"Does he never smile?"

"You're pretty smart for someone your age. You seem to know a lot about him."

"That's because he's right there." Hiroto raised a casual finger, and Haru whirled to face him.

"B… Byakuya-sama!" she cried. For whatever the reason, she had overlooked his presence, probably because she was so preoccupied with finishing what she came to do, or perhaps because he had masked it so well. He gave her the same deadpan look he always did.

"Did you sleep well?" She peered at him, then laughed. "Why are you laughing?"

"No reason. I'm just surprised I haven't learned to expect this sort of thing from you by now," she sighed, tipping her head back and rubbing her temples. "Kuso… I have a headache."

"That's what you get for expelling too much effort, Haru-sama," Ishida stated. "It should pass once your reiatsu is replenished. Until then, I suggest you take it easy."

"Hai, hai," she stated, waving a hand. Byakuya gave her a look that spoke volumes of his concern, though only to her. "I'll be fine, really… I just have some things to take care of before I go back. It won't take long, so there's really no need for you to…"

"I will wait," Byakuya said flatly.

"Don't you have things to do at the office? And what about all that family business? Did you straighten it out?"

"I am in the process of doing so. As for paperwork, I have put Renji to good use. He should be nearly finished."

"Demo…" Takumi appeared at her side in an instant, resting one hand on her shoulder and cupping his hand over his mouth as he leaned towards her ear.

"You should let him stay, taichou. After all, he's the one that found you. The least you could do is humor him." Her eyes shifted off to the side, and a red tint gradually worked its way over her face. She resolved to thank him later. For now, she had other matters to see to. She nodded an ascent to Takumi before turning towards Shinji, who had until that point been idly leaning against the building and watching, giving her companions a glance that asked them to give her space.

"Back so soon? Did ya really miss me that much?" Shinji asked as she approached.

"I felt that, at the very least, I owed you and the rest of your companions a proper good-bye."

"After disappearing on us like that, you're damn straight you do."

"Look, I'm sorry," Haru sighed. "It was urgent. If it hadn't been, do you really think I would have just run off like that?" He studied her with a slightly troubled look for a moment. "How are things here?"

"Quiet. Strangely… quiet. Nothing's happened since ya left. I'm getting anxious."

"Perhaps it's because I put such a dent in Aizen's forces…" Her voice trailed off. Shinji gave her a dark look, but she seemed not to notice it. She had been completely absorbed into her own thoughts for a moment, and upon emerging, she shook her head vigorously. "Iie… that doesn't make sense. Then… what could it be? Is he plotting something? Or hesitating? Does he even have a reason to hesitate?"

"Don't think too hard about it," he suggested, watching her raise a hand to her forehead again. "Yer such a handful."

"I could say the same for you, Shinji-san." They exchanged a smile. "Sorry, but I have to be getting on. You're not the last one I have to deal with today."

"I can see that." She glanced at Byakuya for a moment, then dropped her eyes to Hiroto, who was being restrained with difficulty by Ishida. His curious nature had yielded a desire to approach, one that was not easily abated. "Glad to see you on your feet again, Haru-sama. You'd better not die, or I'll kill you."

"Thanks," she retorted, turning back to him with a wry look. He had by then extended a hand. Smiling, she took it. "Will you be there… when the day comes?"

"Who knows?" he answered with a shrug. "We hate humans and shinigami. What's it to us if they're fightin' some war?" His answer chased the smile from her face. Seeing that he had troubled her, he set a hand on her shoulder. "You'll be fine. Stand on yer own two feet, Haru-sama. What do ya need us there for?"

"I merely think it is important for you to…"

"Yeah, yeah… spare me the details."

"Baka!" she shouted. "Don't ask me a question and refuse an answer!" He arched a brow, the grinned in amusement and patted her head. Immediately, her anger fizzled out, quenched by an expression that was grave yet childlike.

"Take care of yerself, Haru-sama." She followed him with her eyes as he turned around and wandered away. After raising a hand in brief farewell, he vanished from sight, leaving no trace of his presence behind save the impressions his feet had made in the snow. She stared at the spot he had been for a moment, then heaved a sigh and turned away. He was always better with farewells than she was, and she felt slightly embittered that he had no problem with saying them so casually, whereas with her, they lingered sharply for a time and gradually passed away. She traced the bridge of her nose slowly, thoughtfully, and then flashed a serious look to the remaining interlopers.

"Well, you've done what you needed to. Guess that means we should go back," Takumi stated.

"Iie."

"Eh?" he stammered.

"I still need to retrieve my violin, but first…" She fixed her eyes on Hiroto and folded her arms. "I've promised this young man something."

"Haru-sama, you shouldn't interfere," Ishida stated. "This boy is…"

"I know damn well what he is," she interrupted, throwing him a leer. "Did you think that would stop me? It certainly didn't stop me from calling you brother." He fell silent at her response and bowed his head, ashamed that he had even considered it a barrier to her. "Sorry. I'm just a little on edge. I give you my thanks, Orihime-san, for doing what you could. My body feels much better. The rest is up to time."

"Iie… no need to thank me. I'm only happy I could do something for you." Haru smiled for a moment, then stretched her arm over her head, leaning towards the side for a moment. Once she straightened herself, she returned to a more professional state of mind.

"Takumi, Momo-san."

"Hai?" they answered.

"From here on out, my business is of a more personal matter. For that reason, I ask that you return to Soul Society." They hesitated before responding. Takumi knew they were both thinking the same thing. Haru's condition seemed rather precarious at the moment; they had no desire to leave her alone, but their concerns soon dissipated.

"I will stay."

"Nani?" Haru answered. "Byakuya-sama, we've already established that you have no reason to…"

"I stay for you, Haru-kun. I need no other reason."

"Can't you make any better use of your time?" she said, exasperated at his persistence. He lifted a brow momentarily. Then, his eyes drifted shut, and a touch of something peculiar worked through his features. Whatever it was vanished before she could analyze it, and his eyes reappeared, intense yet subdued, unyielding yet fiercely content. With a dejected sigh, she submitted to his desire and motioned to Hiroto, who gripped one side of her captain's haori with a childlike caution.

"Will you be at home later, nii-san?" she inquired.

"Hai."

"Then I will stop long enough to collect my violin. I'm afraid I can't stay any longer than that."

"I understand," he answered. "I'm only happy enough to see you on your feet, but I have to ask… what do you intend to do about…" His eyes wandered to the child at her side, who regarded him with cautious eyes.

"I will do for him what I could not do for myself," she answered cryptically. As she turned to walk away, Byakuya followed her, giving Ishida a rather cold glance as he passed and causing him to stand a little more rigidly. The distaste in his eyes was undeniable, but his countenance suggested that he had resolved to bear with the arrangement as best he could, not for his own sake but for that of his nominal sister's happiness.

"Ishida-kun," Orihime said. "I wonder what she meant by that." He put a hand to his head and shook it because every fiber of his being told him it was a bad idea. He received reassurance from Hinamori, who drew forward and peered quizzically at him until he detected her gaze and raised his own.

"With Yamashita-taichou," she answered, "it's best to pose an objection if you find her actions questionable. Otherwise, I find it easier to assume that she had a good reason for acting the way she does." Normally, Ishida avoided agreeing with shinigami. Despite his familial bond with Haru, he had not forgotten the reason that the quincy race was nearly extinct. However, Hinamori's words seemed to describe Haru so accurately that not even he could object to them.

* * *

><p>Byakuya and Haru walked in silence, not touching one another with their gazes or their hands. Occasionally, he glanced to her, usually to find that her eyes were on the child walking beside her. The image conjured up strange thoughts in his mind, thoughts that were both sweet and troublesome like Turkish delight. They were addictive; he couldn't get enough of them, and he couldn't get enough of her. He reached out for her hand, then hesitated and pulled back. As he did so, he imagined that she glanced at him from the corner of her eye, but instead of meeting her gaze, he fixed his eyes on the road. "Byakuya-sama."<p>

"Nandesuka?" Haru paused to gather her words. She glanced at Hiroto again, who was content enough to lapse into his own thoughts as long as he had one hand on her haori. Once she was reassured that he would follow her, she turned her full attention to Byakuya, who, as expected, was gazing at her with troubled eyes.

"For the past five days, I've noticed… that you have been rather distant, yet today, you've quite suddenly returned to your old habits, even to the point of insisting that you pass your time here when I know for a fact that you have things to do in Soul Society." His expression grew more troubled as she continued. "I find this alteration in your behavior rather strange. I'm not concerned about it because I know you have your reasons. I just thought I should point it out is all."

"Then it troubles you, me wanting to be here?"

"It troubles me that you're neglecting your work for my sake." Byakuya's eyes touched hers coolly, causing her to start. Her forward pace was uninterrupted. She fixed her eyes on her path again.

"Your motives are not so clear, either, taking responsibility for this child…"

"I feel like I should do something for him. He's a member of the Yamashita clan." Byakuya paused, and after taking several more steps forward, Haru turned to face him, resting a hand on Hiroto's shoulder and causing him to peer up at her. Haru's eyes, however, were on Byakuya, whose own shone with mild distaste. "Byakuya-sama, the sins of my grandfather's past were not committed by this child. He reminds me a lot of myself when I was his age. Perhaps that's why I feel obligated to ensure he has the one thing I never really got to enjoy."

"And that is?" Haru smiled and dipped her head. It was the sort of smile she used when masking her pain. Rather than answering, she continued forward. Perplexed by her reticence, Byakuya quickened his pace until he caught up, then fell into line beside her.

"His father, at least, is still alive. I'm not sure about his mother. Even if I had Shinji and Ishi-nii and sensei, they were no substitute for the parents I lost. If they had lived…" She paused, realizing that her voice was quaking. "If they had lived, maybe I would have had a normal life. Maybe I wouldn't be the way I am."

"Perhaps that is true," he stated, sliding his fingers between the gaps in hers and pressing their palms together. "But if that were so, then we would not have met. Besides…" He paused and gave her a long look, along with the ghost of a smile she had seen so many times yet which still made her feelings for him blaze. "I enjoy the person you have become. Thoughtful, yet occasionally impulsive; polite, yet straightforward when the situation requires it; strong-willed; a bit contumacious at times; and above all else, loyal to your own doctrines."

"You aim to flatter me," she answered, turning away slightly.

"You have a strong pride, Haru-kun, yet you humble yourself with an almost vexing frequency." He paused and considered her for a moment. "Haru-kun, your character is very balanced. You are the light and the shadow, and I love both sides of you, no matter how much they may vex me."

"Now, now, not in front of the child…"

"I don't mind," Hiroto said with a grin. "Besides, he makes you happy, right, Haru-dono?"

"I suppose… even though he's stubborn, stoic, and downright unpleasant on occasion…" Haru laughed at the expression Byakuya made, one that suggested an encounter with an unpleasantly pungent flavor. "But I wouldn't feel the same way about him if he wasn't all those things." The cloud passed from his expression as a warm smile touched Haru's lips and she tilted her head to the side. She wouldn't admit it to either the child or the noble, but she felt a little strange, walking down the road with the two of them. As she was becoming absorbed in the feeling, she heard someone call her name and peered in the direction of the call. Instantly, a normal-looking man rushed to her and placed his hands on his knees, entirely out of breath due to the breakneck pace that he had been running.

"Yoshio-san?"

"I thought… it was you…" He stood erect and wiped his head with the back of a gloved hand. "Haru-dono, I need your help with something. See, there's this kid…"

"You mean this one?" She lifted Hiroto and held him at Yoshio's eye level. They studied each other for a moment, Yoshio with a relief that bordered on fury, Hiroto with a sheepish chuckle. Haru, sensing the tension in the air, took a couple of steps back without putting him down. She dropped him the moment he started squirming, hiding behind her as if he detected the impending lecture.

"Yamashita Hiroto, get out here this instant! And stop troubling Haru-dono! Honestly, she's the head of the family! I'd think you would at least have the common sense not to bother _her _with your little disappearing acts!"

"You have it all wrong," she said mildly, waving her hands back and forth, but the torrent continued.

"You've been respectful, at least? Or am I hoping for too much? Knowing you, you haven't been." He placed a hand on his head and woefully added, "My reputation is in complete disrepair by now, I'm sure. You've been so utterly detestable to her that she has nothing left to say to me. She'll replace me, certainly. If I'm lucky, I'll get to linger in my current abode for another few weeks. Maybe if I pawn some things, I can scrounge enough together for next month's rent… but what then? What will become of us? How am I supposed to feed you when you perpetually get in the way of things?" Her brow twitched once. Before his absurd line of questioning could continue, she slid the wooden sword free of her obi and thrust its point in your face.

"For the gods' sakes, will you stop making a fool of yourself? You're not fired, and I'm only angry because you give your son far too little credit!"

"Haru-dono, his ideas border on insane…"

"Then I'm mad as well. I find his views entirely reasonable. If you don't, then perhaps you're the one that has lost your mind." He stared at her blankly for a moment, and with a heavy sigh, she slid her sword back into its proper place. She turned to Hiroto, whom she pushed back slightly before whirling him around and giving him a gentle push. "Listen," she murmured. "I'm going to make good on my promise, but you need to stay here with Byakuya-sama until then. I know you don't much care for shinigami, but please tolerate him until then." She stood erect and gave Byakuya a beseeching look. Before he could object, she had motioned for Yoshio to follow her a short distance away. She gave them one last business-like look before devoting herself to the task she had come to fulfill, but before she could do so, Yoshio folded his arms and glanced past her.

"So… is that the fiancée I've heard about from Masahiro-dono?" Haru blushed slightly, then turned her eyes away.

"That old man… has no idea when to keep his mouth shut, does he?" An infuriated sigh worked its way out of her lungs. "Nothing is official; we're on our way to that point, though."

"What then?"

"Who knows?" Haru answered. "It all depends on our survival in the upcoming war."

"That's a rather grim outlook."

"I think it's perfectly realistic, considering the vast scale of what we're up against." She tilted her head back and smiled bitterly. "Victory is uncertain, and hope, sweet little hope, is at the end of her wick. Will she burn out, at the end of things, or will she rally and blaze with a strength very few people grant her?" Yoshio studied her for a moment, wondering what he could possibly say in response. Detecting her desire to drop the subject, he let it fall away and settle, an indistinguishable flake among the countless others that surrounded them.

"He can see you."

"Hmm?"

"Hiroto, I mean." He folded his arms and looked past Haru again. "I didn't think he could."

"Did you know he was a quincy?" Startled, Yoshio's eyes snapped back to Haru. "I'm going to guess you didn't." Haru held out an arm, letting the cross on her left wrist sway back and forth before dropping it. "I'm not entirely sure that he knows exactly what he is himself, but he expected me to hate him when I happened across him, and he showed enough antipathy for me at first, but Hiroto-kun…" Haru paused, wrapping a hand around her left arm and drawing a breath, one that was slightly sharp. Yoshio, being unfamiliar with her mannerisms, noticed nothing peculiar. After recovering, she peered critically at the child for a moment, who took no notice but instead stared unblinkingly at Byakuya's unchanging expression. "Hiroto-kun… is very intelligent in some respects, Yoshio-san, but he is innocent to some of the world's greatest cruelties. I'm not sure if it's my place at all, but if I could choose one gift to give that child, it would be to give him a life away from those realities for as long as fate permits. He is a quincy. He will one day have to fight and kill, but for now… whether it's another day or an hour, let him live the life any child his age would live. Let him stay with you."

"Haru-dono, what you're asking me… I can't…" Haru gazed at him in a manner he was quite unfamiliar with. Her eyes implored him to think carefully on his words. "I can't… I can't do anything for him. The way he is…" Haru's eyes glinted with disappointment, and rather than burden him with the pressure she had no desire to exert, she turned away. "Haru-dono…"

"I don't hate being a shinigami. When I was younger, I didn't feel as strongly about it as I do now. Still, there was a feeling there then that no longer exists. Yoshio-san…" Slowly, she turned to him. The gravity in her eyes was enough to crush him. To it, she added words. "At that age, I thought… that if I could trade everything I was for one more day with both my parents, it would be worth it. Considering everything that has happened, I can't think that way anymore. Still, it's a rather telling wish, isn't it?" He stared at her. She smiled with difficulty in a way that was an obvious cover for her suffering. That in itself cut him to the core, to see her exerting that much willpower over a subject that caused her untold amounts of grief. "Consider my words, Yoshio-san. I'm sure that whatever you decide will be the right thing."

Byakuya was relieved by her return; despite being only a child, Hiroto's gaze could be unnerving, and his silence was even more so. He was supposed to ask or say something. Certainly, that much could be expected of him, but all he did was stand and stare until he heard the steady fall of feet and the voice of Haru call his name. Immediately, he whirled to her, smiling as she dropped to one knee and patted his head. "Hiroto-kun, promise me that you'll behave yourself and try to worry your father a little less."

"Okay," he answered. "But where are you going?"

"Back to Soul Society. No offense, but the day has been pretty exhausting." She smiled and leaned forward. "What happened will be our little secret, right?" His expression turned thoughtful. Then, he nodded and extended his smallest finger. She wrapped her own around it, and they shared a moment of childlike revelry. Then, she drew away with a wave. "Remember, behave yourself."

"Hai, Haru-dono." Haru turned away, feeling that she had at the very least made her best attempt at fulfilling her word to Hiroto when, quite suddenly, she felt something wrap itself around her leg. Startled, she peered down at Hiroto, who drew away with one of his serious looks. "Be happy, okay?" She digested his question, then gave him a quiet affirmative and returned to Byakuya. Once she wrapped her arms around one of his, they paced away slowly and disappeared into the distance, lingering only in memory.

* * *

><p>Whew... congrats on making it to the finish line. Your reward is: one Japanese lesson!<p>

Nani: What

Sumimasen: An apology of sorts.

Iie: No

Gomenasai: Another apology, this one a little more formal.

Hai: Yes

Baka: Stupid

Gomen: Another apology. (Like me, my characters apparently apologize a lot. XD)

Yare, yare: Well, well. Props for Urahara's catch phrase!

Sugoi: Awesome

Kuso: Japanese swear word! (I get way too excited about that.)

Demo: But

Nande: Why

Baka neko: Stupid cat

Ohayo: Good morning

Nandesuka: What is it?

And so it goes. If I can finish posting this fanepic this summer, I will overjoyed! Let's see how diligent I can be. More to come soon. Until then, happy reading! ^_^


	10. Chapter 10: Perspective

A/N: I was going to upload this earlier today. And then, Pokémon. Enough said. I am one ADD fanfiction writer right now. I've rediscovered free time and am loving every minute of it! But fear not... I haven't forgotten my fans. I love them dearly and will now show my appreciation with an epic chapter that, by the way, I was going to upload about a week ago. And then, editing. Or more like rewriting. I'm pretty sure 60% of this chapter was written in the past four or five days, literally fresh off the presses. Shout-out to my readers: Juliedoo, Almathia, ThorongilAnime, AratherClumsyNinja (whom I apologize to for distracting from studying), and NAO-chan33.

I won't delay you anymore. Enjoy the chapter. ^_^

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 10: Perspective<em>

Takumi sat with his head resting on the surface of the table, staring vacantly at the wall and trying to conceal his troubled look from Hinamori. As much as he just wanted to crawl under the covers and sleep it off, he couldn't say no to her when she suggested a cup of tea after their routine spar, which had left them both frozen to the bone. Despite the absence of any immanent threats, he found himself wanting to keep near her. It was dangerous, he knew, because she would surely see through his façade. He had been too quiet, too preoccupied with his own thoughts to speak or follow her around the room with his gaze as he customarily did. He could claim weariness, but his state bore no semblance to the pleasant yet irksome pull of sleep. As Takumi released a breath, he shut his eyes for a moment, opening them only when the vibration of an earthen vessel being rested on the table drew him from his reflections. He sat up with a determined shake of his head, resolving at least to attempt to take pleasure in her company.

He expected an inquiry, a word of concern, something to pass her lips, anything to break the heavy silence that had settled in between them. All she gave was a series of incoherent little sips, followed by sighs as the warm tea passed down her throat to the core of her being. She gave him her gaze momentarily, then returned to drinking. "That's it?" he demanded suddenly. "No questions? No concerns? Not even a moment's notice?" Hinamori peered at him and lowered her cup slightly. "Come on… usually by now, you're hounding me. You can always tell when something's wrong. Don't you think it's odd I haven't said anything since we left, or that I haven't shown much interest in you, either? Or have you noticed, and you just don't care?"

"Takumi…"

"Look, if that's the case, just say so."

"That's not very fair."

"What's not fair about it?" She set her tea down calmly and abandoned her position. Takumi didn't watch her shadow move; he assumed he had done something to irritate her, so he didn't bother. Much to his surprise, he felt one hand rest against his shoulder. Immediately, he turned to her, giving Hinamori an opportunity to rest a hand against the side of his face, one that still retained some heat from her tea cup. Before he could pose any objections, she leaned forward and pressed her lips briefly against his. Their warmth made him shudder slightly, but as she drew away, she dropped her gaze, her face flushing and her countenance taking on some demure quality.

"Of course I knew something was wrong, but I wasn't sure if I could ask you." Her hesitant hand nearly joined her gaze on the floor, but he set a hand over it before it could fall away.

"Why not?"

"Because you told me before that you couldn't tell me everything you see. I assumed you caught a glimpse of something troubling when you dragged me out of… whatever that place was and went after taichou." Takumi considered her words and sighed.

"It hardly seems fair."

"Iie," she answered ardently, raising her firm gaze. "You want to protect her."

"Demo—" Flustered by his persistence of the subject, she silenced him in the most effective way possible, one that threw him into a delusional state of reticence. She leaned forward and captured his lips again, this time with more passion than he was accustomed to. She conquered his senses and his thoughts, made his mind buzz and his lungs burn, drew a startled shudder from his frame… _Resist, _he immediately thought. His hands got as far as her shoulders, and though he fully intended to push her away, Hinamori clung to him, making the prospect of escape brief and impossible. Among his distinguishable sensory perceptions, he detected her hands grasping the folds in his uniform, the brisk exhale against his cheek, and through it all, the faint flavor of tea that drove him to the very edge of his sanity. When Hinamori drew away, he took a moment to breathe before drawing her forward again. Other than an incoherent, half-hearted verbal objection, she said nothing until he released her and collapsed against her shoulder. His pulse pounded in his ears, and for one prolonged moment, it lulled him entirely to bliss. Her fingers gently stroked the back of his head, drawing a long sigh from him. "Damn," he said at last, adding a nervous laugh after a moment of silence. "What did I do to deserve that?"

"You could have pushed me away," she retorted.

"Iie… it was impossible. Besides, I didn't mean it in a bad way. I only meant… that it was sudden." He paused. "I shouldn't have pulled you back again like that."

"Baka." Her fingers swept across his forehead, clearing it of hair and perceiving the slight dampness that lingered on his skin. "Relationships are spontaneous sometimes. It's not always bad to do what feels right." Takumi sighed heavily and sat up, running a hand through his hair and reaching for his long neglected tea. After inhaling half of the cup's contents, he set it down and rubbed his head again. "I had a reason… two, actually."

"Can you explain them?"

"I was getting to that," Hinamori stated. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Well, I can't always explain what I see. I wasn't sure if you had a similar situation."

"I could keep secrets like taichou does all the time, but why should I? Besides, I want to tell you why. Will you listen?"

"It's kind of hard not to, since you'd make me listen even if I didn't want to," he said with a grin. She raised a fist to punch him in the arm, but he caught it, glancing to it with a wry sort of amusement. Gingerly, he pulled it to him and coaxed it open. Once her fingers had unclenched and separated, he drew her hand to his lips briefly. "I'm listening." Hinamori studied his eye for a moment, then commenced.

"You looked so troubled, Takumi, and it's such a heavy burden you have to bear, seeing things all the time and not being able to speak of them. I guess I just wanted to make you forget the difficulties you experience because of this for a little while." With her free hand, she touched his eye patch, sliding it off of his face, then realized that she shouldn't have spoken of that matter first. Already, the troubled look was working over his features again, so quickly that she struggled to stave off her remorse.

"I'll tell you, then," he murmured.

"Come again?"

"The thing I saw back there, the one that made me so desperate to find her." His voice was grim, and the look in his eye grave. "I'd been seeing glimpses of it ever since we left for the human world. Only later did the image present itself." Takumi's fingers stroked the back of her hand, and her eyes immediately moved to his. "That boy she was with… I saw her standing between him and a hollow, but not just any hollow. It was the same one that took my eye, and he was about to kill her by firing a cero into her chest."

"But she can protect herself against that hollow. I've seen her do it."

"That's the troubling part," he stated. "It was only one image, one moment in time. There was no motion, so I could see everything perfectly well." He lowered his hand for a moment and peered to the tea, neglected but not forgotten. "It's a difficult thing to tell, but beings you follow her for the same reasons I do, you should know what I saw."

"What was it, Takumi?"

"When taichou stepped between that hollow and that kid, she had both her zanpakutoh and her Seele Schneider, but even in that moment, just before he was about to thrust that cero into her chest… she didn't touch either of them."

"What do you mean?" Hinamori inquired.

"I'm saying she was armed but refused to draw her weapons." Takumi tightened her grasp on Hinamori's hand. "I can't figure out the reason behind it, but I knew she wouldn't draw, and I thought that if she didn't, then she would be killed."

"But she wasn't." She paused for a moment. "Takumi, this doesn't make any sense at all. If she didn't draw her weapons, then why isn't she dead?"

"I don't know." Woefully, he bent is head and rested it against his hands, which were still wrapped around one of hers. "I've thought about it a lot. It's haunting, the things I've come up with. Maybe she employed some other method to get rid of him. Maybe something else scared him off. Maybe, just maybe…" Takumi gave her a serious look. "Maybe she talked him out of it."

"That's impossible."

"Not for someone like her," he stated, bowing his head again. "Tell me what to do, Momo-san. I feel so lost… I don't know if I can bring myself to follow someone like that."

"Is your resolve that weak?" she demanded. Takumi raised his eyes at the rebuke. "You swore to follow her no matter what. Are you going to break that promise just because you aren't sure of something?"

"Well, I can't ask her what happened…"

"You don't need to." Hinamori's other hand touched one of his, and she pulled them gently downward so she could get a clearer look at his eyes. "Listen, Takuami… this is obviously something Yamashita-taichou isn't ready to tell us, which gives you time to think things over. Tell me, though, if you had to decide right now and she told you what you least wanted to hear, would you forsake her?" Takumi stared at her in bewilderment. When she put it like that, his perceptions changed entirely. In his mind, the weakness had belonged to her for hesitating to kill the hollow. Now that he realized something like uncertainty had shaken his resolve, he saw himself as the weak one. Even so, it wasn't an easy question to answer, so he simply replied,

"That hollow took my left eye."

"But Takumi, if that hadn't happened, then would you and your zanpakutoh have mended your ties? Think about it… one alteration in the chain of events would create a future quite different than the one you're living now. I'm not saying you should forgive that hollow or hesitate to fight him when the time comes. I'm only saying that if taichou hesitated, she has her motives for doing so, and whatever those motives are, she'll explain them when she needs to. I can only speak for myself, but those motives are what I intend to base my decision on if it comes to that." He stared at her for a moment in complete astonishment before a smile consumed his worry.

"Well said, Momo-san." She returned his smile, glad to see the weight lift off of his mind. They gazed at each other contentedly for a moment. "You said there were two reasons for what just happened. You've only told me one… or am I not allowed to ask about the other?"

"Iie, you're allowed to ask. It is, after all, the more important of the two." She blushed and cast her gaze away for a moment. When she looked at him again, a strange light flickered in her eyes, one that made him doubt his right to seek the answer. "It's the way I feel about you, granted I wouldn't have done it if I wasn't sure you returned the feeling. It's hard to explain, and a little embarrassing…" Her voice trailed off for a moment. Under such a penetrating gaze, Hinamori found it difficult to think. Her face turned red, and she glanced away with an awkward yet clearly pleased smile. "I wanted to express physically what I'm not ready to express with words." She fidgeted slightly under his watchful eyes. "Though I usually think a lot longer about stuff like that than I did before I acted. I don't know… maybe I'm still a little jealous," she confessed, blushing slightly. "I know I don't have a reason to be, but it kind of frustrates me, the way you're always looking after taichou." Takumi studied her for a moment as he released a sigh. His fingers brushed against the back of her hand as he drew it to his lips again.

"Momo-san, I look after Yamashita-taichou because she's a friend of mine, because her circumstances and mine are bound by events that happened before either of us were born, but more than anything, it's because unlike us, she has obstacles to the happiness she wants."

"I'm afraid I don't understand."

"Think about it," Takumi stated. "What we are to each other is our choice and no one else's. We can be friends or more if we want to. For taichou, it's different. She's a noble now, both in name and in standing, and Kuchiki-taichou is a noble, too. Up to this point, they've been pretty free to feel as they like, but things have gotten pretty serious between them. From here on out, it's not so much their choice as it is their families'." He smiled reassuringly. "Still, I'm sure things will work out for the best. But I think I've digressed a bit." Hinamori peered at him curiously. "Right now, you're the only thing on my mind, Momo-san." If that didn't make her smile, then the gentle touch of his lips against her brow did. His hand, roughly textured but gentle in manner, flowed smoothly along her cheek. Once it fell away, she returned to her original position and began working on the cup of tea she had forgotten about. "Moments like these really should last longer," he stated, leaning against his hand. "I see I'll be needed elsewhere soon."

"What do you mean?" Hinamori asked. "You're not leaving the division, are you?"

"Hell, no. What I meant was, I'm going to have to leave you soon to take care of some business fate seems to think I'm capable of dealing with." He studied her, then shut his visible eye. "Will you be alright by yourself? I know you hate being alone sometimes."

"I'll manage. Just promise you won't do anything stupid."

"I'll try."

"Takumi—" His expression, which had been laden with pensiveness before, now bloomed into an amused grin that caused her to fall silent. He looked like an angel and grinned like a devil; both aspects kept her spellbound.

"Don't worry," he said. "The stupid thing I have to do isn't life-threatening." He exhaled and rose, stretching his arms above his head and turning towards the door. "Thanks for the tea, Momo-san." He had nearly reached it when he noticed the footsteps following him. As he turned, she ensnared him in her arms and buried her face against his chest. She listened to his heart, the steady rhythm she could both hear and feel. She knew it was selfish to delay him, but she let herself be indifferent about such things, at least for a moment. She wanted to remember him the way he had been that evening, the hesitant, awkward, passionate, nonchalant young man who demonstrated subtle nuances of strength most clearly when he was walking away from her. Throughout the entire span of silence, Takumi's arms remained half raised, swaying forward when he caught a stray fragment of confidence, withdrawing when he recalled his duty.

"Come back tonight."

"Nani?"

"When you're finished, I want you to come back for another cup of tea."

"Nande?"

"Because I don't feel like I've spent enough time with you yet."

"I've been here for nearly an hour," he commented. Hinamori's eyes appeared, vehement and insistent. He swallowed the lump that rose in his throat and peered away.

"Physically, you've been here for an hour." She almost felt his heart plummet under the weight of the guilt he experienced. "I want more than that. I want your focus, every ounce of it." She released him with a smile. "It's alright. I can wait until you're finished. Just promise me you'll come back." Takumi couldn't understand her insistence, but as he was apt to do when he didn't comprehend things entirely, he answered before he could stop himself.

"Alright."

"Really?" she inquired, her eyes shining with anticipation. Once his mind had accepted the answer as valid, a struggle that lasted only for a moment, he grinned and touched her shoulder.

"Sure thing," he answered. Why had he said that? For the life of him, he couldn't figure it out as he paced through the empty dusk, accompanied by the snow under his feet and the speckling of stars above. The moon, which had been hiding behind a cloud, slid out and shone brightly enough to cast his shadow. _It's like she can talk me into anything._

_Do you dislike submitting to her will, Takumi? _Akumashoku inquired.

_Iie… it's just a little… I don't know.  
><em>

_Strange? Nice?_

_Disconcerting, _he decided after a moment. _It's like she's the wind and I'm the snow. I've got no choice because I'm compelled to move. _

_But you're happy? _Takumi rested a hand against the hilt of his katana and leaned his head to one side, releasing a sigh that rose like smoke on the air.

_Maybe I'm taking it for granted because I've got no price to pay for it. It comes so easy to me and her. We only had to fight ourselves to get what we have, but taichou… _He paused and peered listlessly at the graying sky. _There isn't a moment where she hasn't fought for it. _Takumi couldn't help but smile and tip his head back again.

_Is everything alright?_

_Yeah, _he answered, folding his arms behind his head. _I was just thinking…_

_Yes? _Akumashoku pressed once his wielder's thoughts had tapered off into oblivion. He chuckled slightly as a scene played itself out in his mind. Then, he locked his eyes on his path and continued.

_I was just thinking… that knowing taichou the way I do, she doesn't see it as a price at all._

* * *

><p>"You were in there for a while."<p>

"I know," Haru answered, raising a hand to her head. In the other, she carried her violin case. They walked the empty roads towards his estate side-by-side, close enough to touch but not doing so despite their close proximity. "Ishi-nii spent half of the time upbraiding me and the other half apologizing for doing so."

"I cannot imagine the reason for his ambivalence." Haru smiled and bowed her head knowingly. "You read him far better than I ever could. Explain it."

"Byakuya-sama…"

"Perhaps I can understand if you explain it to me." Haru's brows fell together, and her steps turned instantly to a solemn march. "Have I done something to trouble you?"

"Iie. It's just… you've never thought such things were important in the past, or at least, you never told me you did. I assumed you just cared enough about the whole situation to acknowledge it. You've never concerned yourself with details about my relationship with Ishi-nii." She gave him the gaze he longed for, stared at his expression, discerned something from it, and smiled faintly. Her curious reaction nearly drove him mad. Only one thought restrained him, that the ray of light in his life may or may not be smote at any moment, and not by Aizen, but by something far less treacherous, something as near as his name.

"Perhaps another time, then."

"Of course," she answered.

They were finally home. The twilight touched the snow and darkened it to a bleak slate blue. Haru sat down beside Byakuya with a sigh and removed her sandals one after the other, then picked up her violin case and prepared to retreat.

"Haru-kun."

"Hai?" she inquired, peering over her shoulder. Byakuya studied her, saw that she no longer needed an escort, and directed his attention to his own footwear.

"I request that you give me a few moments of privacy before coming in to dine. I have some matters to take care of." Haru caught the grave note in his voice but refrained from objecting. "I will come to get you when I desire your company. Until then, if it is not too much trouble…"

"Of course," she answered, "but how will you find me? You still can't feel my reiatsu, right?"

"If you stay on the estate, then I foresee no complications in finding you." He peered at her again. "You will stay, won't you?"

"I can't promise anything. I might be called away for something." Byakuya's face turned stern. "Don't worry. If I leave, I'll tell Keiji-san where I'm going and what time I expect to return."

"Fair enough," he responded. "Be sure to stay quiet. This business I must see to is very important."

"Hai," she answered with a nod of understanding. She left him there, hunched over his own footwear, casting one eye over his shoulder and letting it follow her sprightly steps until she rounded the corner. Relieved that, at the very least, she seemed in better spirits, he completed the simple task before him and prepared himself, with an intake of breath and a touch of the confidence Haru once showed him, to complete one that was infinitely more difficult.

* * *

><p>Other than one person in the hallway, Haru passed no one on her way to what would have been her quarters had she not vacated them to accompany her host in slumber. She set her violin down with a satisfied sigh and threw herself on the futon, sprawling out on her stomach and inhaling the scent of the unused covers. She moved her feet back and forth, resting her chin on her folded arms and gazing at the wall across from her. There was nothing particularly interesting about it. It was the man that owned that wall, and everything around her with the exception of her own possessions, that she found interesting. Her thoughts lingered on him for a moment, but restlessness soon stirred her. She needed something more than thoughts to occupy her. Ishida's multitude of warnings flashed in her mind, and, ignoring them, seized her zanpakutoh. After tucking it into her obi, she slid the door open almost soundlessly. Her feet fell with a silent purpose as her sash swayed slightly.<p>

_He saw through it so easily, _she thought, recalling Grimmjow's words.

_You were aware of it yourself, though, _Suzaku replied. _I don't see why it should surprise you. _Haru sighed inwardly as her clear eyes clouded with trouble. _Is it bad that he knows?_

_It isn't... or at least, it wouldn't be if I didn't have to worry about the information falling into the wrong hands._

_You know why it happened. _It was a statement, not a question, and Haru milled over it as she meandered through the hallway, too preoccupied with her own thoughts to give that little notion in the back of her head, the notion of being watched, any attention. _You are pushing too hard. A technique that relies on balance cannot be forced—_

_Suzaku, _she interrupted, pushing the door open, slowly drawing a breath of cold air. She ignored the wind that pushed the snow over the threshold, favoring more serious thoughts. After exiting, she bent to pull on her footwear, then gazed out at the undisturbed white expanse of snow. The moon faintly lit her eyes, giving them a silvery hue of contemplation that was far from placid. _You never told me there were risks._

_Because I thought you were aware of them. _Haru's eyes scanned her surroundings again, picking up each fragment of light, holding it for a moment, then letting it go as she shut them. _I'm sorry I can't help you more, or tell you exactly how this will change your body._

_It's fine. _She said it so abruptly that she flinched. _Just fine... _She leaned forward and drew a slow breath before exhaling, her breath rising like smoke on the air, playing harmoniously with its transparent counterpart before vanishing. _Stay with me, Suzaku. I don't think I can bear to be alone right now._

_You should have told the Kuchiki how troubled you were._

_I didn't want to bother him, _Haru answered. _Besides, it's not like he can help me. _That realization... she had been fighting it off since the first day she had come back, but it was a truth she had to face. Her eyes grew desolate, absorbing her equally desolate surroundings. _Such an empty place in winter, _she thought. _Empty... and beautiful. _The thought summoned a bad taste to every corner of her mouth, but the acrid flavor broke into a wave of calmness. She had struggled with the truth, struggled and overcome it, all in an inward eternity that manifested as a simple blink.

She heard footsteps in the hall behind her and reflexively placed her feet on the banister before flashing backwards and planting herself firmly on the roof. A moment later, a beam of yellow light broke through the blue and silver, tainting the purity of the snow and painting it with a foreign shadow. Haru crouched where she was, holding her breath and watching as the figure emerged, gazing out over the yard, then relinquishing his efforts and disappearing back inside. As the door shut, Haru willed herself to relax, adjusting her footing on the roof and crouching in the knee-deep powder. _Haru-sama, you're shaking._

_I know, _she thought. _That person... _Her thoughts drifted off as her eyes scanned her surroundings. That desperation to escape rose in her, and along with it came the realization that she never could because doing so would mean leaving herself behind. _I sense... a danger._

_A danger?_

_Not one like in Hueco Mundo, _she reassured her zanpakutoh, raising one hand to clutch her left arm as it throbbed. _Damn it... not now._ She held her breath and studied the sky, waiting for her hammering heart to calm itself. When she felt safe, she moved to a standing position, holding her sword in her hand as the heavens swallowed her up. Aside from a few clouds, they were entirely clear. If the moon gazed down at her, it saw a flash as the shadow launched itself into the naked branches of a nearby tree, landing with enough gentleness to prevent most of the snow from stirring.

_What do you want, Haru-sama?_

_What do you mean, Suzaku?_

_I mean right now, in this moment, what do you want? _

With a smoky sigh, she settled herself with her back against the trunk and one leg hanging towards the ground. Her other foot was set against the branch, her knee bent. She sat like that, peering contemplatively at the sky, not thinking words but ideas. All the while, her hand remained curled around her forearm She peered at the sky with longing glinting beneath the placid ebbs of pain that made her fingers cling tighter. _I guess... I just want an answer. I understand how this happened, but I don't understand why. I can't grasp what's happening to me. I can just embrace it now that it has begun. Demo... _She shut her eyes and breathed the cool night air until she thought her lungs would burst, then emitted the same breath. _Iie... I've already got the answer. It's the understanding I lack. I know you can't do anything about it anymore than Byakuya-sama can. When you were reborn, you were fully prepared for everything that was about to happen. I couldn't question it at the time, but now that I'm realizing what I've gotten myself into, I guess I just want to understand it better, understand this sudden shift in me that threw off the balance I had perfected. _Haru waited for a moment as another pulse of pain shook through her. _Hold on a minute... _Her eyes drifted open and practically glowed with the intake of light. _This rhythm... _A memory flashed in her mind, a memory of movements she had made earlier that day. _This is... _The instants rolled inwardly by one after another at an almost dizzying speed. She tried to think, tried to plant herself in some other line of thought, but her mind had suddenly become like a record player that skipped incessantly. She couldn't tear herself away from that memory.

Oddly enough, it didn't frighten her. Instead, she welcomed it. If her mind rebelled against her will in ways that could help her tame that power, then what did it matter?

Then, just as suddenly as that dizzying inward thought process began, it stopped. _Haru-sama! Haru-sama!_

_What? What is it? _she answered.

_Thank heavens... I thought you were gone._

_Gone?_

_I've been calling out to you for nearly a minute now. _She blinked and pulled her hand away from her arm to examine it. It was clean, much to her relief. She flexed her fingers again and paused. The knot in her mind seemed to have loosened. Her eyes glimmered clearly and, finally daring to breathe, she released a sigh. _Haru-sama?_

_Suzaku, _she murmured. _I... think I understand._

_What? Understand what?_

Haru didn't have time to answer. Before she could, the offending door slid open once again. Her eyes turned to it momentarily, but her head didn't move. _I'm not sure how it happened, _she told her zanpakutoh, ignoring the sound of her own name and lifting her head towards the heavens again. _But somehow, just now... I made a gateway for the answer to come to me. _Her head pivoted as someone nearly set foot in the snow.

"Matte kudasai." The sound of the voice produced the desired effect. There were three of them, all gray with age. The fourth was a familiar face and a relief. He slipped between the figures, and their eyes met. His lips parted for a moment.

"Haru-kun, come down." Before she moved, she tried to analyze his expression. Even in the half-light, she could see he was more serious than he normally was. Her eyes shifted to the sky again, but otherwise, she made no other move. "Haru-kun."

"In a moment." Byakuya knew that tone. She was just coming out of some deep thought. Her eyes moved slowly across her surroundings. _I know I have the means, but where? _She searched for an answer in the stars, and as she followed her light, she found it. Haru shifted her position and disappeared for a moment. Byakuya turned as he heard her soft steps on the roof. Then, she appeared, landing in a crouch and then rising slowly to her feet.

"You have a strange way of moving tonight."

"I didn't want to disrupt the snow," she answered quietly, peering past Byakuya at the figures who had accompanied him. The sound of her name passing through his lips drew her attention again.

"What were you doing up there?" She considered the question, then smiled at him in a way that he found unusual and answering as quietly as he had spoken.

"Perhaps the more important question is, what were you doing in there?" Haru glanced over her shoulder, then lowered her arms and let them hang at her sides. "I didn't realize you had guests."

"They are advisors from the Kuchiki clan."

"Then they are your relatives?" Byakuya nodded once, but said nothing more. "Are they also the business you had to take care of today?" Another nod, this one grimmer than the last. "If they were still here, then why did you let me come back?"

"I assumed you would utilize the time to rest, but instead, you have been exerting more effort than you should be." He paused, and his gaze darted away from hers. "I suppose it is something I should have come to expect from you by now." Haru nodded, then looked from the stars to the snow while she spoke.

"What is the occasion of their visit, if you don't mind me asking?"

"While I do not mind your inquiry, I believe that, as of yet, I am not in a position to answer." Suddenly, her expression changed. "Is there a problem?"

"Iie," Haru responded, folding her arms. "It's just… I don't much like the taste of what I'm always dishing out to you." Byakuya peered at her for a moment, then gathered meaning from her comment.

"Yes, well… ambiguity is an acquired taste, one that I happen to be fond of." Haru nodded in understanding, gazing towards the web of naked branches she had just been perched in.

"As you are fond of moonlit strolls, Chinese bellflowers, and spicy food, I suppose." Byakuya studied her face for a moment. The light cast a series of strange shadows on it. Through it, her eyes glimmered sharply, two points of amethyst full of life.

"If you feel you can compare yourself to mere hobbies." His response drew from her another smile that was soon broken by her detection of three sets of eyes on her. Haru gazed at each of them, trying to discover what they could possibly think of her, but their expressions remained the same. They didn't have the same firm stoicness as Byakuya's, but they all lacked emotion. No hatred or acceptance lurked in their countenances. They simply studied her as they would a fixture in a garden. She contemplated addressing them, hesitated momentarily, and then, with an air both friendly and regal, turned to face them.

"As you've probably guessed, I'm Yamashita Haru, go bantai taichou, and also, the nineteenth head of my family. Hajimemashite." She paused to bow, then raised her head again. Their faces hadn't changed in the least, but she caught a glint of acknowledgment in one's eyes, no doubt the one that had appeared earlier to find the garden empty only to return now and find it occupied. "Am I to assume that I'm the reason behind your visit?"

"How very perceptive," one answered, folding his hands and peering at her. She glanced at Byakuya, whose features suggested some surprise. She supposed they didn't speak to anyone but him except on very special occasions.

"I suppose you've found nothing favorable in me at all. Considering my strange heritage, this doesn't surprise me."

"Indeed, it is so." Haru's fingers flexed, but her expression did not betray her trepidation or her fury aside from the natural sharpening of her gaze. "Your eyes bear a peculiar hue and light. There is nothing natural about your blood; it is an abominable amalgamation of two races and classes that should never cross paths. As for your high ranking, we have no proof that you do not deserve it, but we also have no proof that you do. You are skilled in many things but flawed in character. You are too prideful, and you often hesitate to use your power. But worst of all, you dare to think you are worthy of addressing us directly when you are expected to be silent."

"I understand I have no voice here," she answered, "but that doesn't mean I won't speak if I have something to say."

"A clever rebuttal for one who lives on deception. Your name alone tells us that." The speaker folded his hands as the one before him had. "You are a master of trickery. If you can lie to your enemies, then what has stopped you from lying to your friends?"

"You misunderstand entirely. There is a difference between lying and creating a false truth."

"Is that not an equally bad thing, if not worse?"

"Not when deceit is your only hope for survival."

"You would sully your own name and die a villain, all for some mission that not even Byakuya-dono can detail."

"I wanted to settle things with the man who killed my parents. That is all you need to know." As she exchanged words with them, Byakuya studied her posture and the half of her expression he could see. She was a picture of composure, and that brought him infinite satisfaction. No, she was nothing like the demure and passive Hisana, the woman he had treasured in a way that was similar to yet different from the one who now exchanged words with his advisors. She was Yamashita Haru. She had somehow salvaged her confidence from the wreckage of her return, and she was as active in her pursuits as she had always been. Inaction did not suit her; she was a living flame that needed constant motion, whether that was in body or mind. The thought nearly brought a smile to his lips, but words cut the expression before it even appeared.

"Your motives were selfish," stated the third, the one who had almost seen her earlier. Haru noted something different in his hard eyes.

"I came back alive, didn't I? Perhaps it was just barely, but that has to count for something."

"The entire plan was reckless and impulsive."

"If you knew how long I thought on it, you wouldn't accuse me of being impulsive. I can assure you, it was entirely logical from my perspective."

"Your perspective means nothing," stated the second. "The perspective of those who have a clearer idea of what is best you would easily drown your foolish misconception. The river that flows uphill makes rough pebbles and disrupts the current." He assumed she wouldn't gather his meaning. She could see the marked expectancy of her failure to understand in the subtle changes in his expression. Haru shut her eyes and contemplated the words for a moment. She took three paces backwards and slid the door shut, then turned back to them. When they flashed open again, the traces of silver were made visible by the uncorrupted light of the moon, and they became even more vibrant as she spoke.

"A fragile being climbs the mountain unaided and discovers strength." They hadn't been expecting a comeback, let alone in verse, and let alone one that perfectly countered the one the second had devised. They exchanged looks, and though Haru saw nothing favorable in them, though she had been insulted by their slanderous assumptions, she maintained a look of composure. A gentle wind crept towards them, just enough to make the ends of her hair sway. She glanced left and saw that her shadow and Byakuya's were touching. She couldn't decide whether to be angry with him or not for failing to mention the nature of his business, especially since it involved her directly.

"Despite every law preventing this unfathomable union, we have taken note of Byakuya-dono's willingness to inform us of his desired course of action before actually following through. Unlike his last marriage, which he adhered to despite familial objections, he has agreed to submit to our wills this time." Haru's eyes snapped to him temporarily, but they soon wandered back to the speaker. "Before we rejected you, we wished to see you, and as my companions have already stated, there is nothing respectable in either your personality or your countenance. Your heritage is unspeakable, your will overly strong, your defiance boundless. This in no way fits to society's conception of a nobleman's wife. However…" He fell seemingly to gauge her reaction, or perhaps to curb his own antipathy. "There is something intriguing about your movements that warrants further examination."

"My movements?" she inquired.

"You disappeared just as I stopped at the door, flash-stepped above my head, and landed without a sound on the roof. You tricked me into thinking this garden was empty, if only for a moment. Not many people can do such a thing." Haru listened to the words and bowed, unsure of whether or not it was a compliment. "I have discussed this with my cohorts, and they agreed to witness this themselves only if you responded favorably to their respective examinations. Though it grieves me to say this, despite your seeming lack of class, you have gained the final chance you will ever have to prove yourself." Haru glanced to his two companions; apparently, they expected her to thank them, but it touched a nerve, their way of looking down on her. Even if they were more than likely a seventy or eighty times her age, and even if they were Byakuya's family, they had committed an unforgivable crime just in being there. They had oversimplified her. Haru turned away rapidly before the glint in her eyes, the one that spoke clearly of how much she detested them, showed itself.

"Leave."

"Haru-kun," Byakuya stated, reaching out to touch her shoulder. He read her tone easily even if his advisors didn't, but she escaped him with three forward steps that severed their shadows.

"If you've already decided against me, then there is no point in continuing this farce." She glanced back to Byakuya, whose surprise was obvious enough. First, she had spoken to them, and now, she had outright defied them.

"Do not be a fool, Haru-kun."

"What's foolish about it?" His brows fell together.

"You are mad. Do you honestly expect me to accept such a vague answer?"

"Iie." She turned to face him, her eyes smoldering. "But I expect you to understand that as a shinigami captain and a quincy noble, I won't let my pride be tread upon, not even by those who have high social standing here."

"While I admire your spirit, I must caution you that that isn't something nobles look for in potential spouses."

"You certainly looked for it." Byakuya couldn't argue with her answer, not with the way her eyes bore into him, silently calling him a hypocrite. She took a moment to breathe, touching her left arm with a tentative hand and bowing her head. "Byakuya-sama, you know I respect you for your nobility, your perseverance, and your charity. You could have cast me away at any moment, but you didn't. You let me stay, and now, this has happened…" Realizing that she had digressed, she cleared her throat and shut her eyes, then raised them again. "I would more than happily extend that respect to your entire family. They don't have to like me, befriend me, or even accept me. All I want is toleration, which comes from the tiniest grains of respect. That's all I could ever ask of anyone, really. Anything beyond that is a choice, and I don't feel I have the right to impose my will on others."

He released a difficult sigh. His arm shifted slightly, but as Haru glanced to it, he seemed to remember their audience and let it fall. Irritated, Haru clenched the fist they couldn't see and dipped her head slightly. She could feel the frustration in Byakuya's reiatsu, not merely with their presence but with the entire procedure. He hated being subjected to their will and judgment when he was the head of the family. By all rights, he should have been able to make the decision for himself, but considering his previous disregard of the rules that bound him, their course of action didn't surprise her. In that moment, she wondered if he regretted marrying Hisana and later adopting Rukia as his sister. "For the gods' sakes, don't you dare regret it."

"Regret what?"

"Anything you've done." The answer was vague enough to make him nod in understanding, but when the truth dawned on him, his eyes widened slightly. "I mean it. What kind of man would you be if you did?"

"Haru-kun..."

"I'm fine with being your second love, or your third, or however many it has been, and don't tell me you didn't love Hisana-san. Otherwise, I'll crack your damn skull open."

"Shouldn't you—"

"I said I was fine with it." Her eyes cut into him. "And you should be, too." As if her actions hadn't been shocking enough up to that point... all feeling seeped out of Byakuya, and he felt the numbness of shock wash over him. "How else could I be worthy of him, aside from accepting his past?" Her voice grew gentle, but that file kindled in her eyes continued to burn strongly. Softly, she murmured, "What do I have to do to prove it?" He noted something laced in her words, some deeper question. "What?" she repeated, shifting her eyes to their audience. Perhaps they, too, detected it—the seriousness of the question floating in the air. Byakuya realized her hand was wrapped around her zanpakutoh and that the fire in her eyes was fixated on something else. Envy rose in him until the unexpected answer scattered his thoughts.

"Simple. You must fight Byakuya-dono. Immediately. If we find the results favorable, then we will accept his petition to wed you, regardless of how we or the rest of the family sees things." Haru started slightly, as if seeing her road clearly for the first time, but she made no objections. Instead, the objection came from behind her.

"That would not be a wise course of action to pursue at the current moment. Haru-kun's health has been delicate, as is expected of anyone who sustains injuries as grave as hers were and does not perish."

"Nothing in her movements suggests injury or fatigue."

"She has not eaten. If you wish to see her, at least grant her that privilege…"

"Name your parameters." Those words had a cutting edge all their own. Byakuya tried once to interrupt, but Haru repeated in an equally serious tone, "Your parameters." He wished he could see her eyes as she made her demand. The look on each of his visitors' faces subtly conveyed their complete astonishment that anyone would take that tone when addressing them. "Do you deem parameters unnecessary, then?" She gave a slight laugh and smiled in an uncanny manner. "If we ever had a serious fight, I would personally see to it that the ten-kilometer radius was evacuated as a safety precaution before we even drew our swords. Two captains fighting at full strength is not something to be taken lightly. Not acknowledging one of them doesn't change either's power level." The gentle breeze swept between them again, lifting some of fragile flakes and casting them into the air. Haru gazed at them unblinkingly. She refrained from challenging them outright, but her manner of gazing was so unsettling that the one who had watched her before succumbed to her desire.

"Use your judgment."

"No kidou, then," she answered. Byakuya watched her as she worked the knot at her left side and pulled her sash off. "I suppose we should also refrain from releasing our zanpakutoh, not only for the safety of our audience, but also for that of your house." She discarded the sash momentarily as she removed her captain's haori.

"What are you doing, Haru-kun?"

"They need some way to tell us apart." He couldn't argue with her. It would be difficult to distinguish them considering the lighting. She folded the garment and draped it over the banister before retying her sash at the left and following Byakuya through the unbroken snow.

"What are you thinking, Haru-kun?"

"I'm thinking I'm about to satisfy that nagging desire to fight you."

"That wasn't what I meant." She glanced to him briefly. "There was something else in your head a few moments ago."

"You sound jealous." How easily she read him. His eyes darkened, but he said nothing. "I was just thinking of something a friend of mine said." Byakuya looked at her for a moment, then, like the issue they had spoken of before, let it drop. He felt like he needed to leave some open ends in their conversation. It would give her something to come back for if the results of her trial were unfavorable.

"You should have left yours on," he stated as an afterthought.

"It wouldn't have been fair. Besides, you've been a captain longer than I have."

"This is true, but we are both captains now." Haru let her eyes fall shut in acknowledgment. "Will you use your quincy weapon as well?"

"If I deem it necessary," she answered, "that is… as long as you don't object."

"It seems entirely fair, considering the fact that I have more experience than you." Haru stopped at a distance and raised her eyes. Their shadows were separated by only a sliver of light. A thought scurried across her mind. _They never specified what "favorable" meant. The victor between the two of us is entirely irrelevant. True victory will be told by the ultimate outcome of this duel. It is something we both seek, just as we seek to defeat one another even though it doesn't really matter._ As Haru sought Byakuya's eyes, she felt some part of her old self rise up in her. The moment his sapphire optics touched hers, the old flame sprang up between them, one that incinerated all of their concerns and obliterated every reason to hesitate. He knew that look well, that faint smile on her face. There was nothing else in the world to her but her opponent and their blades, which nearly hummed in anticipation. "A nice feeling… it makes me nostalgic." Her hand rested on the hilt of her zanpakutoh. "You had better not go easy on me, Kuchiki Byakuya."

"I would never dream of it, not knowing your tenacity as well as I do." He barely had time to finish his sentence before dodging her first strike. His eye tilted towards the sword as it arced towards the moon and past his shoulder, then suddenly changed directions. Byakuya flashed aside as she completed her swing and whirled towards him, blocking his attempt at senka, then shoving him back and swinging again. She only got about two-thirds through the motion before her blade was stopped by something solid and distinctly metallic. Their eyes clashed in the dark as the faint halos of reiatsu appeared, one pink, the other gold, interacting in such a way that disturbed the air and coaxed it into a calm yet definite circular motion. Byakuya saw that trace of thought race across her eyes again and increased his pressure on her blade, not letting up even as he noted a slight wince. "Think of me." Haru gritted her teeth and shoved him away and exchanged a series of blows, and through each one of them, he felt the weight of something beyond him, maybe beyond them both, but it was there, and he despised whatever it was coming between them. Byakuya's eyes grew serious, and he soon caught her blade again. "Think of me," he repeated. Although breathless, Haru glanced up.

"Nani?"

"Right now, in this moment, selfish or foolish as it is, I want you to think only of me." Her breaths stopped abruptly as she raised her eyes fully to his. As she gazed at him for a long moment, always making sure that part of her attention was fixed on the pressure against her sword, they caught the moonlight and ensnared it. It was difficult to see his exact expression, but she swore she saw that ghost of a smile grace his lips. The combination of that with his eyes startled her into a stationary state. "You are blushing, Haru-kun. In the moonlight, this part of you is even more stunning."

"Urusai!" she demanded, shoving him backwards and throwing him an indignant look, one that quickly subsided as she recalled her purpose. Her renewed sense of focus instilled one in Byakuya as well, one that he had not entirely forgotten but had merely displaced for the sake of catching what may very well be the last glimpse of her embarrassment he would ever see. "Let's go, Byakuya-sama. Give me everything you've got."

"Shouldn't that be my line?" Haru smiled in acknowledgment and raised her sword.

"You're the only thing I'm thinking of, Kuchiki Byakuya. Now, come at me." Byakuya wasted no time in putting senka to use for the second time that evening, but Haru, familiar enough with the tactic to read his intensions, dropped into a crouch as the sword impaled the air. She thrust her foot into what would have been his solar plexus if he had not withdrawn to a safe distance. Disheartened but not deterred, Haru launched herself forward and swung upwards. Byakuya countered, pushed her back, and shot forward. Haru was ready with her own counterattack. She moved in time with his sword, arching as it cut towards her before finally flashing out of sight and landing a short distance away. She placed one hand into the snow, feeling it give way beneath her weight. One moment was all she was granted to consider it. Byakuya was beside her in a flash, dropping another stroke on her head that she blocked with her blade. _His movements, _she thought as she entered an exchange of blows with him that left her arms burning. _They're different than when I left, and I'm sure he's noticed that mine are different as well. _Haru flashed out of sight, reappeared, and swept the sword at his left. Byakuya blocked it with ease, but Haru flashed away again, reappearing at his right. She dodged the next swing and flashed out of sight again. _Could it be… _Haru reappeared in front of him, leaning back to avoid the strike that would otherwise have cut her. _Could it be… that he's using the snow to find out how I'm going to move? _Haru's hand penetrated the snow, and she thrust her foot upward, missing his jaw by a hair. She drew her leg in swiftly to avoid his strike and leapt back, sliding across the white powder and leaving deep gouges in its surface. _I see... because of my speed, I'm kicking up just enough snow before I land to make him aware of it._

Byakuya rushed forward, and Haru, having little other choice, blocked his blow, the force of which nearly caused her knees to buckle. She gathered her strength and shoved him away before counterattacking. _I feel it, _she thought. _That state I was in when I fought Nnoitora-san... _She gritted her teeth and swung skyward before blocking the hit that followed. _It goes deeper than this feeling, but I'm still closer than I was._ Her lungs burned, her eyes followed each motion with both admiration and caution, and beyond the clang of their swords and the soft crunch of snow being compacted beneath their feet, she imagined an exchange of dialogue taking place, one that she spared no attention to because she had taken an oath of momentary single-mindedness.

The three advisors stood in a line, observing the battle from a safe distance. "I have seen nothing impressive about her thus far."

"Perhaps that movement I saw earlier was a fluke," sighed the one that had been watching her. "I was almost certain… I saw something worth examining further." They watched the pair glide across the garden on hasty steps, exchanging blows.

"This is absurd," stated the one who had been silent. "Unless my sight deceives me, they are evenly matched."

"Is that any reason to let them do as they please? We cannot… no, we will not let this atrocious relationship go any further, not unless we see something spectacular."

"What are you even talking about?" This new voice drew them away from their verbal considerations. A new figure stepped out onto the landing, accompanied by a servant whose insistence had just been crushed to a fine powder. Without another word, he stepped up beside them, and his only eye began to follow them.

"Who are you?"

"Go bantai fukutaichou, Fujiwara Takumi."

"Fujiwara?"

"That's what I said," he answered, casting a slightly disdainful blue optic on them. "It goes without saying that I know who you are."

"Why are you here?"

"Because I owe my captain a debt, and she'll collect if I don't willingly pay it." Takumi shut his eyes and sighed. "May I make a polite suggestion? Maybe if you shut up and actually watch them, you'll see something you like." Two were about to rebuke him, but the third, the one who had watched, held out his arm to silence them. His eyes were already locked on the pair of nobles again.

Haru blocked another hit, wincing as her muscles ached but gathering enough composure to knock Byakuya's sword away again. She pivoted on her right foot, and they circled each other, swinging at regular intervals. Byakuya exercised his influence and caused them to change directions. Flustered, Haru dodged one strike by dipping around it and turned back with a full-force blow that returned things to what she considered orderly. _The Seele, _she thought. _Until I have entirely felt out his movements, I will not draw it. With that, I will finish this. _Still, it seemed a long time in coming, especially since Byakuya was rather insistent with their direction. Irritated, Haru leapt back, and he instantly pursued her. _Until then, I'll have to stay in this fight using what I already have. _She paused and waited for his stroke to fall, timing her movements perfectly. The sword shot downwards, and while he finished his stroke, a moment before he could raise it again, she moved forward.

Haru reappeared behind him, zanpakutoh still raised. As Byakuya turned to her, he noticed nothing uncanny. Then, the distinctly warm feeling of a viscous fluid running down his face coaxed his hand into action. He gently ran his index and middle fingers across his face, where she had inflicted a wound that would probably heal in less than a day. He turned to Haru, who clutched her left arm with a slow breath and studied him. "I told you before not to take me lightly. If you have an opening, I'll find it, and if I find it, I'll use it. It's as simple as that." Haru stepped forward and arched her blade through the air, pointing it and her vibrant eyes at him. "Is it that you aren't seeing my openings, or is it that you're still hesitant to take advantage of them?" His brow twitched at this sudden show of ego, and he flashed forward again with a speed that Haru hadn't expected. Even so, she managed to throw herself clumsily out of the way, and until she could stagger entirely upright, Byakuya had delivered another strike, this one full of enough speed and power to make her stagger backwards. She moved past the next strike, smiling as she murmured at a volume only he could hear, "It's about time you got serious."

Haru flashed out of sight as the unreleased senbonzakura bit through the air. Once she was on her feet again, she bolted towards him. Their blows were countless, a combination of speed and strength that only a trained eye could follow. Their audience was baffled. "I cannot follow them," one said at last.

"Don't complain," Takumi retorted. "The black one is Yamashita-taichou, and the white one is Kuchiki-taichou. They're moving at roughly the same speed. Kuchiki-taichou is a little faster, but Yamashita-taichou has greater agility to compensate." His eye remained on the pair the entire time he spoke; he wouldn't allow such a thing as petty conversation to deter him from giving the task his entire focus. Takumi's shoulder's straightened as Haru threw her blade against Byakuya's. His mind separated that one instance and analyzed it as they took five or six more swings at each other, all the time meeting each other's swords without so much as a thought of dodging. With a scoff, he turned away. "You're all blind. There's no point in dragging this out if you've already made up your minds."

"Your people have been seeing fate for centuries, rumor has it, and people's thoughts to boot. You are the recipient of that gift. Tell me, then, what good can come of us permitting such a union?" In an uncontrolled state, Takumi would have decked the speaker, but he refrained by clenching a fist and throwing them all a scornful look.

"Haven't I already said you're all blind?"

"Enlighten us, then."

"What is there to see?" He paused, staring blankly at the opening that was inches away, that he could easily have stepped through. Explaining anything to them may have been absolutely pointless. They were obstinate, set in their rock hard prejudices, yet if he had seen right, despite how difficult things seemed at the moment, he was the only one who could ensure Haru of any future happiness. What could he say to them? The words were so unclear, but the sight of his captain smiling with that ring swaying around her neck haunted him, goaded him on. His hand moved towards the door, but he pulled it back and turned to them as the picture of her swing presented itself clearly in his memory, combined with the way Byakuya had looked in that instant. His brows fell together, and an indiscernible expression permeated his features. It was impossible… but wasn't his own future happiness just as unlikely? That conviction drew his visible eye open.

"The sun," he said at last.

"What you say is unclear, all of it. Start from the beginning. You said it was pointless, yet you did not request that we stop them from fighting."

"Because they wouldn't even if you tried." He leaned back and peered at the stars momentarily. "Yeah… I reckon it's the only socially appropriate display of affection they've got."

"Absurd," stated another. "How can you call that affection?" He studied them for a moment before glancing to the two shinigami, whose swords rang together in what his ears deemed a harmony that neared the perfection of Haru's violin, though it wasn't nearly as impressive.

"It takes the right kind of eye to see it that way, I guess. Anyway, it's not something I can explain well. It's just a hunch, really, a perfect image of the moment before they strike at one another. Their expressions are serious, but I can tell they're both enjoying it. A battle between allies is a test of strength, a discovery of weakness, and above all else, an expression of mutual respect." He watched the pair a bit longer, detecting a faint trace of the nearing climax in the air. "No one can stop them from making each other stronger, and that's what they want to do more than anything else, I'd be willing to bet."

"You say she is like the sun…"

"Like the sun?" he interrupted. "She is the sun, and Kuchiki-taichou is her moon." Takumi watched as they swung again. "Every moment I look at them, I become more convinced of this… that Yamashita-taichou is the sun, not only because she was named for it, but because, despite what passivity she's shown you, she's really got a hell of a fiery streak. And whenever she's around, I notice some subtle sign that he really cares for her… you know, like he can't stop looking at her, or he reaches out a hand when she stumbles… things a noble wouldn't normally do when anyone else is watching. Somehow, he reflects that light of hers and tempers her emotions." Takumi folded his arms at his sides and continued his scrutiny. "Even when they move like this, I can see them balancing each other. Yamashita-taichou is almost all fire and brightness even in her thoughtful moods. Kuchiki-taichou is less so, more stoic than anything, sort of cold like ice on the outside, and dark like a shadow. Something as sacred as that…" He wondered if he was being too presumptuous, but then, remembering his distain, he scoffed again. "Something as sacred as that is untouchable, even by people like you."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that you can't do anything to hinder them, that they'll do as they please despite what they've told you about submitting to your unified will. You've acted too late to change anything. Fate will see to it that they remain this way until their feelings fade… if they even fade at all. And if fate doesn't, then I sure as hell will."

"Are you threatening us, boy?"

"Oh, I wouldn't need to raise a finger. It's taichou you have to worry about."

"That girl couldn't touch us!"

"Couldn't she?" Takumi returned. "I won't discuss the way she took out those espada the other day, or the way she's killed hollow in the past despite being half-dead. You'll change your minds in a moment. Keep watching, and you'll see the thing you've been looking for, but only if you're really looking for it." Obstinate as they were, they felt compelled to take his advice, considering his subtle hints that their nights would be sleepless if they did not provide this fiery girl with the chance she had so desperately sought. Takumi watched as well, following both swords flawlessly with his eyes Haru rammed hers against Byakuya's again, but his endurance being greater than hers, he threw her backwards and continued his relentless pursuit.

_That's it, _she thought, blocking his blow and forcing his blade to turn as she stepped around him. She perceived the cold air burning through her lungs and the fire racing through her muscles. _That's it. _Haru blocked again and retreated briefly, realizing that her breaths had become more ragged than she had thought beneath his continuous onslaught. _Come on, Byakuya-sama. We'll show them together. We are nothing more in this moment than our zanpakutoh and our prides, Two noble prides... _Haru sliced upward and countered his attack. She watched his sword drift through the air, frame by miniscule frame. His expression changed, and, determined to get a grasp on controlling the situation again, he stopped his blade from going any further, planted his feet firmly on the ground, and swung downward. _But only one that burns._

_Haru-sama, do it now. You will not get another chance in your condition._

_You don't have to tell me twice, Suzaku. _She lowered her katana, much to his surprise, but having thrown all hesitation out with every other insignificant detail of his life, he did not stop merely because she didn't seem ready. He was too busy staring at her suddenly composed expression to notice the movement of her left hand, not until a luminous blade shot up between them and pushed his back. A trace of surprise permeated his expression, but he had to forget it in order to block Suzaku, which came at him from another direction. Haru detected a distinctive shift in the air, but she didn't take time to define it. She simply threw him a competitive look and tilted her head, watching the blade move past her and using her foot as a pivoting point. Her eyes remained on his, even as he changed the direction of his sword. She tilted her head to avoid it, then struck it away with her zanpakutoh, following with a blow from her Seele that convinced him to retreat a step. She took complete advantage of his movement and shot forward, pushing him back further than he had intended to go. Haru raised her zanpakutoh to block his blow, then struck it from beneath with her Seele, pushing it away. She avoided the next blow, darting just beyond the point of the sword, or dipping just low enough to avoid its edge. When it changed direction, she struck Byakuya's sword with a force he never considered her capable of putting forth, exhausted as she was. The line she walked was woven and interwoven, and despite being a tangle of movement, Haru knew that on some level, it made sense to her.

Byakuya delivered another downward swing, and Haru blocked it by crossing the two blades. By pulling them together, she was able to dislodge herself from his weapon. They paused, Haru's arms outstretched, her weapons trembling as her frame was shaken by her attempts to breathe, Byakuya's poised in the air where she had pushed it, lacking a complete desire to fall on its target. They were both spellbound by Haru's movements, Byakuya for their beauty and complexity, Haru for her sudden comprehension of them. Had there been any other objective to their duel? She couldn't remember, and it obviously didn't matter. A moment later, a sharp pain scattered her contemplations. Suzaku fell out of her hand, and she dropped to one knee with a cry of pain she failed to bite back. After it faded, the silence was only broken by their uneven breathing.

For a moment, a distinct shadow remained stretched out across the snow. She watched as Byakuya lowered his sword and sheathed it. Then, with more composure than she expected him to demonstrate in that situation, he knelt before her, resting his hands on her shoulders and drawing one curious violet eye to him. "Baka," she retorted, turning away and curling her fingers tighter around her arm. "If you look at me like that, I'll start to think you're worried."

"I am," he answered.

"You aren't allowed to be."

"Since when has that stopped me?" Haru peered questioningly at him, but another pang of pain soon worked its way through her arm. The hand wrapped around her Seele trembled at the effort, but she had already decided not to let go of that weapon as well, no matter how much focus it took to retain her grasp. Byakuya gently squeezed her shoulders, but Haru evaded his gaze. A strange light raced through the only eye he could see, one that he was in no way familiar with. Since when had she had that look about her? He recalled traces of it nearly a week ago when she had come back, when she had been slumped helplessly against the wall after having put every part of herself into victory. "You overdid it."

"Urusai." His mouth curled into a definite smile, and he leaned forward before she could escape, pressing his lips against her forehead. She detected the flames of embarrassment drift across her face, and that familiar desire crept through her, one that involved allowing him to display such affections publically. It only reigned in her for a moment before, realizing they were being watched, she shot away from him, forgetting that she currently had very little balance and virtually no strength to move. No sooner had she taken four steps did she start falling backwards, but Byakuya hindered her from doing so by wrapping one hand around her wrist. She stared at him for a moment, hanging above the ground with some twisted balance. "I don't know what you intend to do," she retorted, "but I swear to the gods and everyone watching that if you do anything to break your own propriety, I will crack your damn skull open."

"You should not say things like that, Haru-kun."

"Why the hell not?" she demanded. The grip on her wrist shifted, tightening enough to make her let go of the now dematerializing Seele. Without warning, Byakuya pulled her forward, shifting his free hand to the side of her face and pressing his forehead against hers. Haru, unable to make any objections, just stared at the subtly forlorn expression on his face, not forgetting that his lips were only inches from hers. He answered in the tone that always sent shivers down her spine, shivers that she internalized due to their audience.

"For the simple reason… that when you say things of that nature, you somehow tempt me even more." She didn't dare breathe for fear of emitting some sound or word she may regret. Briefly, she mused about how long he was going to stay that close without doing anything and prepared to make good on her promise despite lacking Suzaku at the moment. Her heart skipped a few beats, but just as her focus was crumbling, he slowly withdrew, tracing the contour of her jaw with his hand as he turned away. Haru sighed with relief, then moved to retrieve her zanpakutoh.

_We did what we could, Suzaku, _she stated as she lifted her sword from the snow and shook it free of moisture. _Thank you… for taking me that far. _Haru swung it once more, then returned it to its sheath. As she was doing so, a comment disrupted her to the point that she nearly dropped her blade in the snow again.

"I will not let her go." Haru turned to Byakuya, who was gazing at his spectators with a blazing rebellion she hadn't expected out of him.

"Come again?" one of his advisors demanded.

"My most sincere apologies, but nothing you say or do can make me recant what I have already proposed, and what she has already agreed to. If the woman is willing to embrace me as I am, then I have no reason to let her go." Takumi peered to Haru, who had just caught sight of him, and turned away with a friendly salute. She almost ordered him to stay, but something in his manner suggested a pervious engagement. Besides, such matters were hardly relevant considering the presence of Byakuya's advisors. "Unless she wishes to be rid of me, I will not be rid of her. For that reason and none other do I beseech you a final time to grant me the permission I seek."

"Are you saying that if you cannot have her as a wife, you would take her as a mistress?"

"I would never do such a thing," he answered firmly. "I respect Haru-kun far too much to sully her reputation and her esteem by asking anything of that nature from her."

"Nande?" demanded the one who had initially watched Haru. "Of all the women in Soul Society, why was it her?"

"The only logical thing about feelings is that we have them. Having said that, may I remind you that earlier, you stated your decision would be based on our duel?" The three advisors exchanged glances. "Why are you hesitating? Your eyes are only for seeing the reasons we should not be permitted to live in a manner of our choosing. If anything you saw lifted that blindness, even for an instant, then you must grant my petition. I am certain that Haru-kun will remedy your other doubts in time." Haru found all three pairs of eyes fixed on her quite suddenly. The weight of their seriousness was crushing, and with nothing more than simple resolve, she gazed back, unaffected by the obvious critical light in their eyes. In that moment, she only showed one aspect of what she was feeling. She was determined to get an answer now, whether that answer was favorable or not.

"You," stated the third, who had been silent for quite some time. Something in his tone caused her expression to soften. "You are very young, are you not?"

"Hai."

"How young?"

"Fifteen, sir. If I live until January, I'll be sixteen."

"And it does not bother you in the least that the man you seem to want as your future husband is more than ten times that?"

"It hasn't bothered me in the past." He bowed his head in consideration, but the one who had watched her earlier spoke again.

"You are a shinigami?"

"I'm shinigami enough."

"I cannot help but notice certain aspects of your attire and power that suggest otherwise."

"My father was a quincy, so it's only natural that I learned both quincy and shinigami skills, and, to be quite honest, I don't see the harm in using both if my objective is protecting Soul Society."

"You are wise beyond your years," stated the second.

"Is that a good thing?"

"It depends," he answered, resting a hand on his chin. They exchanged glances with each other again. "Your resolve seems too strong. You could defy society."

"My very existence defies society, but since it doesn't bother Byakuya-sama or Soutaichou-sama much, I've learned not to let it bother me." The one who had watched her first folded his hands and studied her posture, as well as the light in her eyes. She felt his gaze and glanced to him, asking with her eyes if something was wrong. He, being the eldest of all of them, was rigid in his ways and obstinate to accept anything else, and yet somehow—perhaps it was something Takumi had said or something she had done, but somehow, he didn't seem as judgmental as he had been. Without a word, he turned and paced away. His two followers called out his name and laced their statements with protests.

"Let them be," he ordered.

"Demo…"

"I will not repeat myself," he stated, folding his hands and peering back at Haru. "If ever there was a sun made to shine on the world below the sky and orbit the streets of Seireitei, she is it, and if we deny her the fate she desires, then her pride will incinerate us all. Besides, would there not be some benefit in it?"

"She is half quincy… and far too young for what you're proposing!"

"Please reconsider…"

"Silence!" he demanded in a tone that made even Haru shudder slightly. "Do you think me dense? I am aware that this relationship has every objection, but her disposition, her manner of movement… they tell me that regardless of what we say to stop them, she will find a way to remain with him, and he with her. Simply put, their bond is much too strong for mere politics can break. Any further discussion of the matter is entirely futile." He turned to Byakuya, whose eyes had widened considerably at the sudden turn of the conversation. "Marry her, Byakuya-dono, if for no other reason than your own happiness, but do not blame me if there are any social repercussions." With those final words, the elderly man nodded first to his master, then to the future lady of the house. His accomplices condescendingly did the same, and they departed, leaving a completely stunned Haru and a mildly puzzled Byakuya alone.

"Damn... for some reason, I just can't wrap my mind around them," Haru sighed.

"I apologize for their crass insults."

"I don't feel insulted. Besides, what they said is true. It's just something you have learned to live with."

"Do you really believe you are an abomination?" he demanded in a firm tone. Haru pushed her hair behind her ear and shook her head.

"Of course not, and they obviously don't, either."

"I had a feeling they were playing some sort of mind game with you," Byakuya responded, folding his arms. "Their opinions of you are not as high as I would like them to be. Still, they are not as low as they have tried to make you think."

"I figured as much," she replied, releasing a breath and holding her stomach.

"Are you hungry?" She nodded slowly but stopped when he pressed a hand to the side of her face. "You feel cold."

"It's nothing a hot bath, a warm tea, and an evening with you won't fix." Haru stepped onto the porch and removed her captain's haori from the railing, pulling it around her shoulders before opening the door and glancing back at him. He read her gaze and followed, taking the lead as she closed the door behind him. She let her mind be consumed with something else for a moment, and in her negligence, she neglected to notice that she stopped. She bumped into him, then slowly backed away to find him gazing at her with eyes so serious that a chill ran up her spine.

"Haru-kun, I…" He paused and cleared his throat, then shook his head and decided now wasn't the time. It would be better to let her eat first. He started forward again, stopping when he realized she wasn't following.

"You?" she asked in a quiet tone. Slowly, Byakuya turned to her, his eyes still glimmering with that same serious light. "What's the matter? Did I do something to offend you?" She saw him swallow, then looked back into his eyes.

"Are you certain... you can accept everything about me?" She tilted her head and gave him a curious look. "You are fifteen years old, Haru-kun, no matter how old you act. I have experienced love before, whereas this is new to you. If I had a hand in corrupting you—" He stopped as abruptly as he began, then cast his eyes to some other corner of the room until she laughed.

"Byakuya-sama, I'm fifteen. I can't say I haven't thought about it."

"That doesn't change the fact that I was married once before and that, somehow, I feel like I'm marring you one day at a time." Haru nodded in understanding, then instinctively became rigid as he closed the distance between them and embraced her. After a moment, she relaxed enough to close her eyes and hang onto the hem of his captain's haori. "Seeing how badly Hueco Mundo scarred you... and how much you still suffer from those memories... it pains me that I can do nothing to help you, Haru-kun."

"But you're doing something now." Haru looked up at him for a moment, then buried her face in his chest as her eyes sank shut. She was blushing slightly, probably as an aftereffect of her confession, but her breathing was regular now, even if that same pain lingered in her eyes. Suddenly, Byakuya's hands settled on her shoulders, and she paced backwards, folding her hands and glancing up at him again to find that seriousness had returned.

"I wish to ask you once more, and this time, I desire a clear answer." Her eyes widened slightly as he wrapped both her hands around hers and raised them slightly. "Marry me, Yamashita Haru. Not tomorrow, or the next day, but someday, in a future where we no longer need to worry about the looming shadow of war… marry me." Haru drew a quick breath as her face turned crimson, and she looked away as the pair between her own quivered slightly. "I have startled you."

"You shouldn't have said it, then, and just taken the answer I already gave you."

"You never gave me an answer. You only gave me hints, some subtle, others not so much, that you were leaning towards a favorable one. Haru-kun…" He coaxed her into raising her eyes, sighing as she leaned against his palm. Against her burning skin, the palm felt cool and drew a steady breath from her. "I want to hear you say it… please." He added that final bit after a pause, during which she wrapped one hand around his wrist and pressed the other against the back of the one lingering against her face. Her lips trembled, probably because of hunger and fatigue working together to amplify the sensation of her emotions, but she managed an answer in a small voice only meant for his ears.

"Of course I will." With that simple answer, she raised her eyes to his and smiled, shifting the hand that was around her wrist to his chest. "Your heart is beating really fast." She grinned and emitted a slight laugh. "You were nervous, weren't you?"

"It is a natural response to posing such a serious question." She wanted to nod in understanding, but such things seemed so beyond her abilities that she shut her eyes and stumbled as her head gave a sudden whirl. If Byakuya hadn't been being vigilant, she would have crashed to the floor, but he seized her and pulled her into his arms before she could. "Haru-kun." He spoke her name quickly, so her eyes wandered up to his. Gently, she shifted her right hand to her left arm and leaned against his shoulder.

"Sumimasen," she murmured. "I'm just... really tired." Haru ended her sentence with an involuntary wince.

"You really expect me to believe that?" Haru looked up at him, and he shook his head. "You cannot lie to me, Haru-kun, but if you do not wish to speak of it, then I will let the matter go until you are ready to talk about it, given that you promise not to overdo it any more than you already have." She gave a reluctant sigh and a nod of ascent. "I know you are tired, Haru-kun, but you should eat something before you sleep."

"Alright," she murmured. Without a word, Byakuya lifted her off of the floor and paced forward, stumbling slightly when she suddenly rebelled. "Oi... put me down. I can walk."

"Haru-kun."

The way his tone struck her ears left her with no option but to concede. She was caught irrevocably. The only qualm she had was not being able to enjoy any more of that clear and frosty night. Unlike her vice captain, she was out of commission for the evening, but he strolled on through the cold air with a satisfied glimmer in his eye cast by a satisfied moon overhead.

_A being that defies fate… _Takumi smirked and bowed his head. _Taichou will probably chew me out tomorrow. Funny, I almost look forward to it. _He scooted some of the snow with his foot and paused to glance up at the moon. _Come to think of it, she'll probably chew me out for more than that if she ever finds out just how much I know about her. I can't doubt my own ability to cope with her nature, and I think Momo-san'll be alright with it. Maybe it's too much to hope, but… iie, after seeing what I have, I'm almost positive it isn't… he'll find a way, too, if it ever comes to that. _He comforted himself with that thought as he tapped his knuckles against the familiar door and let himself in after he heard the voice within.

"I'm back," he answered, tapping his feet on the threshold and seating himself to remove his footwear. "Hope you didn't miss me too much, Momo-san." Perhaps she had only been worried about the business he had to deal with earlier, but the shadow he had seen before had entirely vanished from her gaze. She was nothing but smiles now.

"Did you straighten things out?" Hinamori inquired as she crossed the room.

"As straightened as they're going to get for the moment." He had just finished pulling off one sandal and was moving to the other when, quite suddenly, he felt her arms curl around his shoulders and her head lean against the base of his neck. "Momo-san…"

"I'm glad." Hinamori let out a slight laugh and smiled. "I don't understand… you said you were just a spectator before. Why did you have to act tonight?" Takumi peered at his foot and began to struggle with it, trying his best not to disturb her grasp or seem like he was ignoring her question. Still, the silence suggested such a thing. He knew because she glanced up at him. Takumi tipped his visible eye over his shoulder, adding a grin when he saw her concern.

"If you're worried about me ending up the way I was before, then don't be. Tonight was a rare exception to what I told you before, so rare that I didn't think it was worth mentioning when I told you everything about this eye." Takumi paused long enough to point at the covered left, the continued where he had left off. "There comes a time in everyone's life where they have to do something. They can't just watch. Tonight just happened to be mine, I guess. If I wasn't certain of that, then I wouldn't have went, and anyway, I'm back now, so there's nothing to worry about."

"Demo…" Takumi, having finished his objective, turned with more haste than Hinamori was accustomed to dealing with and cut off every other protest by pressing his lips gently to hers. The brilliant glimmer in her eyes, combined with the feeling of her forehead resting warmly against his, caused the sensation of contentment to well up in him.

"Now, no more serious talk, Momo-san. Another cup of tea, though, would be greatly appreciated."

"H… hai," she answered. Takumi couldn't help but notice the slight stammer or the way she raised her hand to her lips as she turned away to prepare the tea. He sat at the table and watched, leaning against his hand with a satisfied smile on his face, not bothering to turn away as she brought him a cup. "Are you... enjoying the view?"

"Always, Momo-san," he answered, sipping the liquid. "Why? Is it unsettling?" She adjusted her position so she was sitting beside him and gently tugged at the string securing his eye patch. As soon as it fell away, he turned to her, his right eye glimmering azure, his left stained blood red, both questioning Hinamori's actions.

"If you're going to have the audacity to stare at me," she murmured, "then at least stare with both eyes." Takumi blinked in amazement, then chuckled as he raised the cup to his lips again and they settled in to indulge in the simple pleasure of the beverage and in each other's company. Almost an hour and a half had passed, and yet to them, in that moment, it seemed that not a single second had slipped by.

* * *

><p>Whew! Intensity and resolution! And other things. Hooray. We've got to keep this rolling. A short Japanese lesson before I depart for dreamland.<p>

Iie: No

Demo: But

Baka: Fool

Nani: What

Nande: Why

Matte kudasai: Please wait

Hajimemashite: Pleased to meet you (well, sort of. I recently learned that this word has no "good" English translation but that it literally means "for the first time.")

Urusai: Shut up

Hai: Yes

Sumimasen: An apology of sorts.

Thanks for reading! I will see you all in the next chapter, which will be up soon! ^_^


	11. Chapter 11: Fragments

A/N: Oh, heavy revisions... how I do loathe thee. After some serious work, I have managed to get the eleventh chapter together. I hope you haven't been too impatient in my absence. ^_^ I've been reading and gaming like crazy, so reading fast is a skill that is coming in huge handy. If only edits went so fast. ._.' Apologies for the delay, at any rate, and a special shout-out to my reviewers: Juliedoo, NAO-chan33, and Almathia. Hugs to you all~

Here is the (much edited) chapter 11. Enjoy! ^_^

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 11: Fragments<em>

The fading stars and the fragments of a dream accompanied Haru as she paced towards her destination, trying vainly to recall the previous evening. She vaguely remembered the meal, and her solitary bath more vaguely still. What she recollected most clearly was her entry into the bedroom, a slight stagger and another hasty hiss of pain, then the sight of those bewitching eyes locked on her, eyes so intense that she forgot every trace of pain in order to enjoy a few moments of complete peace with him. They bore the same light when he had leaned over her and planted a gentle kiss against her lips, a simple expression of his feelings that deepened until she nearly lost herself in it. _You are a distraction through and through, _she thought as she recalled the way she had slept most of the night, burrowed against Byakuya's chest with his arms draped over her body. _Easily the best sleep I ever had. I was starting to get concerned with the distance you were putting between us. You even clumsily covered up for your own desires by saying that kiss was to make up for it._

At that crucial moment, Haru would have accused him of lying if she could have seen his face properly. His eyes hadn't changed a bit; they were still intense, but they were also strangely patient. For the moment, at least, they were allowed to continue as they had, and though Haru wondered how long that moment would last, she wasn't willing to give it excessive thought because that dream lingered. _Such a dream… _The wind swept past her, and she squinted against the snow. Once it passed, she turned her palm over and gazed at it, then tilted her head back and gazed at the stars—but her admiration was disrupted, dyed with dreamy incarnadine remnants. Her steps stilled, and she pressed a hand over her eyes in an effort to forget what she knew or recover what she had lost. _That dream… _Haru tipped her head back and drew a frigid breath of air into her lungs. _That dream… nande?_

"You look tired." The voice drew a smile to her face as she turned to the speaker. "Sorry about dragging you out here so early."

"It's fine," she answered. "You said it was important." Haru smiled slowly and cast her eyes skyward again, wrapping her hand around her left arm and skimming the white tail of a galaxy with her gaze. Her fingers flexed, and she reached up for it, caressing it with her hands and murmuring, "I could live forever on glimpses of that sky. It's a pity I can't just stay like this." There was some deeper implication in her voice, one that Hitsugaya took note of, but he said nothing. He was too busy looking at the same sky with a slow draw of his breath.

"Haru," he said at last. "I need your help with something." She glanced at him. "I'm not sure what I should do or why I'm hesitating, but I've hit a snag."

"I'm listening." He breathed another sigh.

"Yamamoto-soutaichou... wants me to draw up possible strategies for the war." Her eyes widened at his words, but she said nothing. "You think it's strange I got chosen for the task."

"A little."

"Nande?" There was something irate in his voice.

"If you didn't think there was something strange about it, you wouldn't have come to me." Her words evaporated before he could really wrap his mind around them. "I don't think it's odd because you're young, but at the same time, that's precisely why I think it's odd. Still, you're a prodigy, Toushiro-san, same as me."

"I only think it's strange because of the captains in Soul Society, we are the only two who have never experienced war." She nodded in acknowledgment. "Why would he ask me such a thing, Haru?"

"Are you finding the task difficult?"

"It's hard to be rational when you feel like you're condemning each and every one of your comrades to a death more hellish than you could ever imagine." Hitsugaya lowered his eyes. Instead of their normal jaded look, they were subdued by some deep sorrow or anxiety. "I know I have to do it. I just can't bring myself to start. After all, there are still a lot of details we aren't sure of. The exact where and when, the magnitude of Aizen's forces, even his own strength." He shifted his eyes around and motioned for her to come closer. Once she was close enough, he murmured in a low tone the words he had come to speak to her. "You may have recaptured the hougyoku, but it cost you quite a bit in terms of health and mental stability. Those memories still haunt you. I can see it in the shadow of your eye. It's the closest to war you've come so far. I'm hesitant to put you any closer." Suddenly, a flame flickered in her eyes. "Relax, Haru... I didn't mean it as an insult. It's normal, that hesitation right before a huge battle. I know you're plenty strong, though how strong remains to be seen."

"You're saying I'm holding back?"

"I'm saying that I may or may not have heard someone mention the limiter on your power." She swallowed and clutched her left arm again, forcing herself to swallow. "I'll admit I'm curious about your strength, but I didn't call you here to interrogate you about that, not yet at least. If our conversation turns there—"

"Toushiro-san, I..." She paused and dropped her head, clutching her left arm again and withdrawing a bit. "I'm sorry. I'm not at liberty to tell you anything about my power right now, so please don't ask me about it." It wasn't what she said so much as the way she said it that triggered his already unbearably strong curiosity to grow exponentially. He reminded himself that he had to be patient and swallowed his questions, all except one.

"Are you sure you're alright?" The inquiry made her jolt slightly. "I mean, a lot did happen to you in Hueco Mundo, and the only thing you told us was that you retrieved the hougyoku. I'm sure you've told Kuchiki-taichou more than the rest of us since you're closer to him than anyone else, but knowing you, you haven't told him everything." A rebellious fragment of light appeared in her eyes as she looked to him, but she refused to speak, favoring the practice of remaining silent over denial. "Haru—"

"Fine," she said shortly. "I'm fine. I just have a lot on my mind. It's not just Hueco Mundo. There are family matters, personal matters, professional matters—they just all piled up at once, and I'm having a hard time keeping them all straight. That's all it is, Toushiro-san." Haru could tell just by the look in his eyes that he questioned the truth of her statement. She gripped her forearm again and released a low sigh. "If I thought that what I experienced in Hueco Mundo disabled me from performing my task as a captain, I would vacate my position until I felt I could better perform it, or until someone else could."

"You would trouble the Gotei 13."

"I realize that," she answered, "but I'd trouble them more if I stayed. An incompetent captain is dangerous. My wrong decisions can get people killed." Some odd glimmer entered Hitsugaya's eyes, and reading it, Haru smiled bitterly and bowed her head. "Sumimasen. I shouldn't have said it that way. It was inconsiderate. I forgot for a moment what sort of prospects you were dealing with." She bowed again and gave the sky a long look, casting her eyes towards the gray in the east that would soon be washed away by the fiery haze of dawn. "Why did you call me out here, Toushiro-san? Was it because you thought talking to me would help you figure out the reason behind you being placed in your current position?" He considered it for a moment, then shook his head. "Then, why..."

"Because," Hitsugaya said slowly, "you're the only one who can help me."

* * *

><p>Renji made it a point to be on time for once. As he pulled the door open and stepped out of the cold, he rubbed his hands together and paced in the direction of his captain's office to deliver his usual morning greeting. The moment he opened the door, two cold sapphires leapt towards him with enough ferocity to make him leap backwards. "T… taichou! Ohayogozaimasu!" Byakuya studied him for a few moments more, no less coldly than he had when his vice-captain had walked into the room, then returned his eyes to the form in his hands. "Jeez… the hell did I do to deserve that?"<p>

"You're loud."

"Yeah, but I wasn't being loud comin' in." Byakuya gave him a bland look, and while Renji sometimes had difficulty distinguishing one enigmatic glance from the other, this particular look failed to conceal the noble's innermost thoughts and revealed everything plainly. "What'd she do this time, taichou?"

"I do not believe that is any of your business."

"Well, you ain't denying that she did something, so I reckon she's the reason you're in the kind of mood you're in." Byakuya set the form down and delivered another icy glare. Renji was prepared for it, but he still shuddered at its frigid touch.

"Do you have a problem with my mood, Renji?"

"You know I don't," he retorted, folding his arms and trying not to roll his eyes at his captain's rhetorical question. "Look, I'm just saying it's not every morning you throw yourself at your paperwork like this. Concentration ain't something you've ever had to force."

"How can you tell I am forcing it?"

"Ho…" Renji grinned. "You ain't denyin' it, either, so that's gotta mean I'm right." Byakuya set his brush in the ink well and placed his hands on the desk, rising slowly with his eyes closed and his expression set in its usual stoic mask. He paused, waiting for his captain to let out a sigh or some other sign that he at the very least still acknowledged his presence. Nothing happened for a prolonged period, and he was about to give a verbal reminder of his presence when Byakuya's eyes shot open again. They bore into him in all their stony stoicism, causing him to suddenly straighten his posture and stand at attention.

"I owe you no explanation for anything, and in the case of my personal life, I see no reason for you to even ask. I suggest you get to work, fukutaichou."

"H… hai!" Renji withdrew to his office with haste, leaving Byakuya alone with his small mountain of paperwork and his own thoughts. He gazed out the window with his arms folded behind his back and slowly released that breath he had been holding. It wasn't enough that he was still suffering from the aftereffects of his spar with Haru the previous evening. To add insult to injury, she had to make him wake up alone in that dark room by leaving without so much as a word, either to him or his servant. The suggested urgency bothered him for some reason, probably because he knew he should have been used to it by now, that nasty habit of disappearing when he thought it least convenient.

_Haru-kun… _The mere thought of her name was enough to call her image to mind. It was totally different when they were sparring. All he could see in that moment was her determination to match his attacks, to gain her concept of victory. Now that he had time to consider her expression, he saw the traces of uncertainty in it. _What is it that you struggle with? Is it the memory of your time in Hueco Mundo, or… is it the certainty of what is to come? What is to come? Are you certain yourself? What has that peculiar vice-captain of yours divulged to you that he cannot tell anyone else? Even more important, what is it that he told my advisors that made them reconsider? Neither you nor I were blind to the fact that they had already made their decision, although they do admittedly merit you more than they say they do._

More troublesome still was the expression on her face as she had slumped to the ground. _There is something odd about it, _he thought. _She was in unspeakable pain. Could it have been that mark on her back again? Iie… _Byakuya recalled the scene to his mind. _She was holding her arm, and she had dropped her zanpakutoh, but that quincy weapon… she seemed determined to hold onto that at all costs. I cannot help but wonder what it was in that moment she was protecting, or perhaps the better question would be… what she was protecting herself from. _The question lingered until he could no longer bear the thought of being unproductive. As he sat down and resumed his paperwork, he set one small portion of his energy and attention to creating a reason to pay a visit to the fifth division office. After all, it seemed entirely rational to him to delay his gratification for the morning, but expecting peace for the entire day after leaving him alone was nothing short of absurd.

* * *

><p>They ate kneeling on the floor of the tenth division captain's office with deliberate slowness, Haru sipping her tea and watching Hitsugaya thoroughly chew his rice. "Haru." She looked up at him. "I didn't realize it until this moment, but you look miserable." She lifted her head slightly and lowered her eyes. "I don't have a right to ask about your personal life, but I know you have a lot going on right now."<p>

"You don't know the half of it," she answered, setting her tea down and tipping her head back. "However, it all seems pretty trivial in comparison to your situation." She lifted her rice bowl and ate a small bite, a thoughtful bite. "What you said earlier... it has gotten my mind off of my own troubles for a moment."

"What did I say earlier?"

"That I was the only one who could help you." Hitsugaya set his bowl down and sighed.

"Help me be reasonable, Haru. Help me be so reasonable that I can't think of how horrible it is to condemn my own coworkers to their deaths." Her eyes glinted with inquiry.

"Why do you think I'm capable of such things?"

"You can suspend everything but your logic. I've seen it in your eyes when you really get down to fighting. I'm not saying you refuse to feel. You just sort of forget to."

"I think you're reading too much into me."

"I know what I saw," he insisted.

"How can you be sure?"

"I can't ever really be sure with you except in this." Haru peered at her reflection in the tea. "You don't just hide your emotions. You bury them altogether. It's not very often I see it, but it's clear in your eyes sometimes. I can't really explain how or why."

"You can't ask me such things."

"Demo!" The hands around her bowl quivered slightly as her grip tightened, and some vehement light crossed her eyes. "Haru, when did you learn how to do such a thing?"

"Where else?" She curbed the detestation in her voice as much as she could, but he could still hear it, that undeniable note that could only be called hatred, the tone she only used when referring to one man. "I hate him," she admitted. "In Hueco Mundo, there were moments where I just stopped feeling altogether because I hated him so much. After a while, it seemed normal to just shut everything off and tolerate him, his little efforts to get at me. Drugging me, eating at the same table, drinking the same tea... I always hid it around him, hid it so deep that I forgot it was there, but the moment I was in a safe place, I felt it, hatred so strong it could cripple me in an instant and make me lose what little reason I retained." Her eyes glinted. "And the more I think about it, the more I realize I let myself get like that, I start hating myself all over again. That isn't something I can afford to do right now. That's why I'm asking you to let it go, Toushiro." The sound of his own name sounded foreign without the usual honorific attached to it, but the way she said it, the methodical movement of her mouth and the trouble pulling at her eyes... he didn't have much of a choice but to swallow.

"What happened to you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Something happened to you there." Haru thought of Grimmjow for a moment, then shut her eyes as she tried to find the words to explain it. "What was it, Haru?" When her eyes flashed open again, they had the sharp glint of a fluorine point. Within them nested a light that he wasn't familiar with, one that came from within rather than from the dimly lit office. Through the yellow light reflected in her eyes, he almost imagined intense fragments of a bluish-silver.

"When you find yourself in a dire position, you learn that you're capable of some pretty terrible things." She sighed slowly. "I thought I knew myself, but in truth, I didn't know anything before I left. I didn't know how far I would go to protect the things I left behind. In truth, I didn't even know the extent of what I was protecting." Hitsugaya didn't ask for specifics; he didn't have to know that she had been through a lot. Haru pulled a piece of fish loose and ate it. "That place did things to me, Toushiro-san. There are still nights I wake up and forget where I am, and it's only after I start to struggle that I remember I'm in Soul Society. There are still times when I don't trust a closed door or a blind corner."

"Can you tell me anything about Hueco Mundo?" Haru glanced at him. "The place itself, the espada... I'll take anything you have. I need somewhere to start."

"What about condemning us all to death?"

"I'm trying not to think about that right now," he said, his voice sharp like a fragment of jade. Haru considered his words. It was better to confront the easier matters first, not that she had an easy place to start like he did. He just wanted to understand what he was up against.

"It was dark," she murmured. "And hard to navigate. I always had to have someone show me the way. Szayel-san built traps to disorient me, and the medications Aizen slipped me didn't help. Still, strange as it sounds, there were moments when I almost felt at home there." She smiled as she thought of that false sky, of standing in the sand and just staring upwards, losing herself in her thoughts until Grimmjow came up behind her and whacked her in the head. She thought of nights she spent curled up in the sheets of her bed dreaming of home. "The place itself... it didn't have that threatening feeling to it, you know? I think it was more what was there that threatened me. The espada, most of whom didn't trust my sudden change in sides, and Tousen... he never really trusted me, either. Sometimes, I would pass him, and he'd be putting off a strange aura. Not alive, really, but not dead, either."

"What about Ichimaru?"

"What about him?" Haru realized what he was asking, and she conjured up the memory of playing her violin for him. "There were times I thought he was pushy, but I never really got the uncanny feeling that he had anything against me being there. I'm not sure if he ever knew my real reason for going, but I sometimes got the impression that he knew more than he was letting on. I even imagined, on more than one occasion, that he was trying to tell me something without really saying it. I never did figure it out, though." Hitsugaya nodded slowly. "What is it?"

"I only met Tokazawa Misuzu once or twice when she came to the academy to see Shimori-sensei. From the looks of things, she thought highly of her vice-captain and her sanseki." Hitsugaya looked at her for a moment. "And... I got the impression that Aizen thought more highly of Tokazawa-taichou than he should have." Haru nodded slowly in understanding. "You knew?"

"I had a hunch." She couldn't really explain the way she knew, not to Hitsugaya at least, who would think she was crazy for eavesdropping on a business meeting between Aizen and his followers and that she had only been able to do so because an espada helped her. "I heard him say he had unfinished business with my mother that he wanted to finish, so he planned to break my psyche and turn me into her, into a weapon he could use against Soul Society." Haru lifted her head with a sudden realization. "That... makes me wonder..."

"Wonder what?"

"The last words he said to me after running my mother through were that I wasn't worth the trouble of killing. If he said that back then, is it because he didn't know how much of a threat I would pose, or is it because he already knew I would pose a threat and needed some way to check my power?"

"What better way than to haunt you with those words?" Hitsugaya clenched a fist. "Manipulative bastard. I'll kill him, not just for what he did to Hinamori, but for what he has done to all of us."

"I'm sorry to say this, Toushiro-san, but..." She paused, knowing that the blaze in her eyes was the one she had shown him once before when she was fighting Grimmjow, that empty determination that drove her blade forward regardless of her own condition. She couldn't stop it. It consumed her before she could even curb it, and with it came words spoken in a tone that made him shudder. "If he goes near anything I treasure, if he threatens anything important to me, I won't rest until I've cracked his damn skull open and tasted the satisfaction of standing over his lifeless corpse."

"We're in agreement, then, that Aizen cannot be allowed to live?" Haru considered his words for a moment, then nodded. "That begs the question... how do we kill him?"

"It doesn't matter how," she answered firmly. "It doesn't even matter who. If we can take him down, they'll have nothing to keep them from falling apart. Tousen will lose his justice, Gin-san his leader, the espada their reason for existence."

"If you remove the keystone, the whole building collapses in itself..." Hitsugaya finished his soup in one gulp and sighed. "We could turn him into a martyr."

"Or they could have their own reasons for fighting." He glanced up at her observation. "They're more complex than you think, Toushiro-san. As much as they deny it, the espada are part shinigami, and even if they weren't, I spent enough time there to realize that the being we call hollow is far more complex than classifications can reduce." Haru folded her hands in her lap and looked to the sun pouring in from the window. "They aren't just here to eat plus, and they aren't here to serve Aizen. They're here to create a balance between Soul Society and Hueco Mundo. Without that balance, the human world wouldn't exist, and neither would I." Maybe that's what she had been missing... that idea of balance on such a grand scale. The only thing she couldn't determine was how to shrink that balance to something she could sustain within herself.

"Can you tell me any more about the espada?" Haru's gaze questioned him. "You wanted to know earlier why I said only you could help me. It's not because of that ability to suspend your feelings. It's because you've set foot somewhere no shinigami has come back from." Her eyes flickered in understanding as she bowed her head with a smile.

"I should have thought of that myself."

"Nobody's perfect," he reminded her, refilling her tea cup before setting the pot down. "Besides, you've got a lot on your mind right now."

"That is true," she said, sipping her tea and sighing in contentment at the subtle sweetness of plums in the background. For a moment, the flavor devoured her world, dragged her away from everything but that pure delight that tea had once brought her and now brought her again. As she opened her eyes, Hitsugaya noticed the weight in them had lifted, if only just a little bit. She gazed at him again for a few moments, wavering on indecision, but something firm formed in them. "About Hueco Mundo, and more specifically, about the espada..."

"Hai?"

Haru drained her tea cup and gave him a determined look. "What do you want to know?"

* * *

><p>It wasn't hard for Byakuya to find an excuse to see Haru. He left his office and his slightly increased paperwork load behind for what was going to be an hour and proceeded to the fifth division office, partly to allay his own concerns, partly so he could comfort any that she had, but there was still one small part of him who did out of spite. He couldn't just overlook the fact that she had slighted him that morning. He strode through the cold, ignoring the way it swiftly numbed his ears. Although it tried to grasp at his neck, the scarf secured around it warded off most of the cold. He acknowledged formal greetings with nothing more than a glance, and he didn't even pause to admire the winter scenery around him. At the moment, his eyes much preferred another sight, and as he reached the fifth division headquarters, he was certain his desire would not be deterred long.<p>

As he paced past the door of the vice captain's office, he noted that the door was slightly opened, and though its occupant did not look up at him, Takumi said in a distant yet determined voice, "Try the tenth division."

"Tenth?" he inquired.

"She sent a message from there saying it would take her all morning and some of the afternoon to settle things." Byakuya slid the door open and peered critically at the vice-captain, who didn't even look up from his form. "She wasn't really clear on what she was doing there, but she's helping Hitsugaya-taichou with something. I think she said it was in return for his help with the paperwork while she was gone." His hand didn't stop even as he spoke, and though Byakuya secretly thought that the recent graduate's ability to split his concentration so completely, he refrained from commenting on it and simply turned away. The sound of his name stopped him from leaving. "Look, I don't care how deep your desire to see her is. What she's doing there is important. You'll see her tonight, no doubt. Until then, why not give her some space?"

"Because—"

"Never mind," he answered, sliding one paper aside and lifting the next one. His brush automatically continued moving. "I know your reasons. I suggested not bothering her, but what sort of power does my word have in the face of motives like that?" For the first time, he looked up from his form, grinning and fixing his visible eye on Byakuya. "Take care of her, Kuchiki-taichou. She's got a lot on her mind right now. She didn't say anything; I just know her too well." The regal captain slid the door shut and whirled away, leaving Haru's second-in-command to his task. He passed Hinamori on the way out, who murmured a greeting and proceeded forward with a hot cup of tea, and he paused, looking after her, considering her devotion for a moment. He could only describe it as "strange," attribute it to some sudden mending of their relationship, and proceed to reroute his steps to the tenth division. "Tell Hitsugaya-taichou that I am here to see the fifth division captain." He said the order to the first person he saw, then watched as she proceeded to carry the task out. _If it were that easy with Haru-kun, if she didn't have that disobedient streak, I don't think I would be attracted to her as much as I am. _He considered the matter until the shinigami came back.

"Kuchiki-taichou," she said, bowing hastily. "I apologize, but Yamashita-taichou left a few minutes ago."

"Did Hitsugaya-taichou say where she was going?"

"He wasn't specific, sir. Probably back to her own division's headquarters." Byakuya nodded and tried to follow the footprints, but he couldn't distinguish hers. Too many people had already walked the road. He could only let his instinct guide him in an attempt to track her down. The image of her face haunted him to the point of insanity because even without the suspended perception of her reiatsu that seemed to plague everyone in Soul Society, she did a good job of hiding it, and herself. He picked up a stray set of footprints that led away from the others and followed it, eventually arriving at a building that definitely wasn't connected with Haru.

At some point, it occurred to him that he was out of time, but more disturbing still was the thought that followed closely on the heels of the first, that he had spent an hour chasing someone who wasn't running from him at all. No, she was hiding in the one place he hadn't bothered to check himself. His mistake lie in the announcement of his presence, and it proved to be fatal. The thought of his own paperwork was the only thing preventing him from forcing his way in, but he remembered her repeated request for patience. _I could try it just once, _he told himself. _Just this once. Then, I'll claim every right to impatience. _His feet crossed over unbroken snow as he turned to take a different route home.

The shape of the shadows stopped him.

The roof should have been a simple slant, but its silhouette on the snow revealed a figure stretched across it. He raised his eyes and squinted to find a pair of violet eyes fixed on the sky. He half spoke her name, but his voice trailed off when he perceived the concentration etched into her face, the same one that appeared when she was locked in a conversation with her zanpakutoh.

He wanted to touch her; to hold her close and tell her she would figure it out, whatever it was; to alleviate the one trouble that he could, the one regarding his own family... but for some reason, seeing that serious glint of focus in her eyes, he found himself unable to even conceive approaching her. Byakuya fought his own hesitance, trying to step forward, but he failed almost as soon as he began. With a sigh, he turned and began to walk away, not realizing that her eyes followed the end of his scarf as it waved through the air. She sat up abruptly, then followed behind him, creeping across the snow on the rooftops and darting out of sight if he happened to turn her way.

At some point, after Haru realized he was going back to his division and after she realized that speaking with him would distract her from her current task, she let the sky distract her, watched as the clouds shifted indolently through the sky, and took two steps back, stretching both arms towards the sun with an almost desperate look in her eyes. _Give me a piece of that sky... to keep for the dark times ahead. _Slowly, she fell to her knees, her arms remaining outstretched until her hands covered her face. Behind them remained an image of that perfect expanse, its pale blue etched into her memory, the sun at the center of everything, covered in part by clouds. She half wished she could disappear into it, but seeing it was enough. The heavens weren't cracked or broken. That meant they were safe. _But for how long? _She climbed down and marched forward, her arms swaying at her sides as thoughts of a time frame flitted through her head.

"You've given me a lot to work with," Hitsugaya had said when she had finished. He had taken a few notes, but nothing substantial. He didn't want to risk that sheet falling into the wrong hands, so he had used a sort of shorthand, one that he had developed for his classes at the shinigami academy. He folded the piece of paper and slid it into his shikahusho. "If you think of anything else, let me know."

"Of course," she answered, bowing her head. "If I can do anything else, then please don't hesitate to ask." Haru rose to her feet with thoughts of a short reprieve flitting through her mind.

"Actually..." The word made her turn back. "There is one more thing you could do."

"What is it?"

"It will be hard enough for me to develop a strategy for dealing with Aizen and his allies. I'll have to plan for a lot of contingencies, plus the guilt of what I'm probably doing to my own comrades." Haru nodded her head slowly in agreement as he lifted his jade eyes. "But I need a deadline."

"A deadline?"

"I can deal with the 'how' of this puzzle, given our objective, but the 'when'... I think that's your strong suit."

"Toushiro-san..."

"Haru, you've been close to Aizen before Hueco Mundo. What's more, you experienced his manipulations first-hand. That says something about where your power really lies."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that of all the shinigami in Soul Society, you're the only one who has ever managed to think one level higher than Aizen has." He folded his hands and let his eyes sink shut. "Having said that, do you think you could perhaps get one step ahead of him now that you're beyond his influence?"

"I'll try since you say it will help."

"Right," he answered. "I need an interval of days to work with—the fewer the better—of times that Aizen is most likely to attack. There are the obvious possibilities, Christmas and New Year's Day, but I think that's almost too obvious. He has no motive." Hitsugaya gave a low sigh. "Can you do it, Haru?"

_I told him I could do it. _She pulled the door to headquarters open, passing by Takumi's door and only just remembering to acknowledge his greeting, then slipping inside her office. She seated herself behind her desk, filling the inkwell with deliberation, dipping the brush, and beginning to scrawl a set of kanji on the first form. Behind them, she could almost see the rows of dates dancing and beckoning for her attention. They were the days of winter, stretching from that day to March, and there were so many that she couldn't even begin to peg one day down over another. Haru rubbed her eyes, forcing the words on the paper back into focus. Once she finished it, she set it aside and completed one more. Halfway through her third, she paused and leaned back, slinging a hand over her eyes as she let out a long sigh. _I told him I could, but the more I think about it, the more I wonder how I'm going to._

* * *

><p>Takumi's head bent beneath the relief of sliding the last form aside. He lowered it to the surface of the desk and remained there for a few moments as his eyes drifted shut. Ever since she had come back, he had felt it, that troubled aura surrounding his captain, but in his diligence, he hadn't given it much more thought. "You okay?" He peered up to Hinamori, who bent over his desk with a smile that spread instantly to him.<p>

"Just tired, though I imagine it's nothing compared with what taichou is feeling right now."

"Why don't we have a cup of tea before we spar, then, all three of us? That way, you can ask how things went last night."

"That would be nice," he answered.

"Alright. I'll go and make it then." He watched her leave in silence, still smiling to himself and wondering how he had gotten lucky enough to wind up with her in the first place. The way she doted on him almost gave the thing a sense of permanence too profound to question, but deep down, he knew that fate seldom left things as they were for any extended period of time. With that thought and a sigh, he pushed himself up and paced down the hall, knocking at her door and receiving no answer. "Taichou, I'm coming in," he said, sliding it open and entering the room. The forms were neatly stacked on her desk, but she wasn't sitting there. Instead, she was laying on the floor, her hands folded, her eyes half-shut in thought and fixed on the ceiling. Takumi slid the door shut behind him and laid down in much the same position, his head several inches above hers. "Momo-san is fixing tea. She thought we would need it after a long day. Besides, she's worried about you."

"So are you," Haru answered, lifting one of her hands and staring at it for a moment before turning it over and running her eyes over her palm. "I don't know what you said to the Kuchiki family advisors last night, but whatever it was, thank you."

"Think nothing of it. Besides, I was only doing it to grant you peace of mind, at least in one part of your life, but I seemed to have made things worse if your mood is any indicator."

"Trust me, Takumi... you are not to blame for my frame of mind." Haru flexed her fingers and let her hand drop with a slow breath. Takumi tilted his head and glanced at her, but she remained in a similar state. "Have you..." She paused for a moment, then continued in a slightly quieter voice. "If you saw anything about Aizen, anything at all, you would tell me, right? It wouldn't have to be specific... I just want to know if you have or haven't I guess, or if you even are seeing things about it." Takumi listened in silence, then gave a slight chuckle when she finished. "I'm serious!"

"Relax, taichou. Of course I'd tell you. I'd find ways to tell you. I'm just laughing because I thought you knew that already." Haru considered it for a moment, then pushed herself into a sitting position.

"You're right. I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize," he answered. "Besides, you've got a lot on your mind."

"You don't know the half of it," she murmured, smiling to mask her anxiety.

"You know you can talk to me, right?"

"Of course I do."

"You can talk to him, too." Haru glanced over her shoulder at Takumi, who was still lying on his back and staring at the ceiling with his hands folded behind his head. "You know he's more worried than I am, so why don't you tell him everything?"

"Because..." Her voice trailed off. "Because there are just some things I have to deal with alone."

"Then at least take your mind off of them for a little while." Takumi glanced up at Hinamori, who entered carrying a tray. She set it down between them and poured two cups, handing one to her captain as Takumi poured hers. They exchanged cups and sipped the beverage while Haru continued staring into her own. "Besides," Hinamori said. "I want to know how things are between you and Kuchiki-taichou. You'll let me ask that much, won't you?" Even those words alone were enough to bring a blush to her face. "Oh? Looks promising..."

"What does?"

"Your face."

"In what way?"

"I think she means the fact that you're practically blushing to your ears, taichou." Takumi gave another chuckle and sipped his tea, watching as her face broke into a smile. "You're practically glowing, taichou. You can spare us the details, but we at least want to know what happened after I talked some sense into those pompous bastards."

"There's nothing much to tell," she responded, sipping her tea to collect herself. "The truth is, some of the details are a little hazy. I remember eating dinner and falling asleep—and getting that appallingly early message from Toushiro-san... the rest of it is kind of a blur. I was so tired last night, I passed out as soon as I laid down."

"I can't ignore the fact that you're deliberately avoiding the matter we're asking about," Hinamori noted. "So I'll just come out and ask: is it official or not?"

"Of course it is! Why else would she be smiling like that?"

"Will you be quiet for a moment? Or do I need to shut you up?" Takumi smirked at the threat, more than willing to accept her challenge. She glanced back to her captain. "So? How did he do it? I want to know what it was like."

"Like I said before, there's really nothing much to tell. He just... sort of asked me. Right before I went to Hueco Mundo. He gave me this..." She tugged the chain around her neck and tried to suppress the heat in her face. "Normally, I would have felt wrong taking it, but at the time, I was only thinking about whether or not I would see him again. Last night, we had to fight each other in front of them... his advisors, I mean. I suppose we both won in our own way. Anyway, his family decided to let him do as he wished, and since he was never really sure, he asked me again."

"I'm not surprised he didn't know since you're usually so enigmatic," Takumi stated, sipping his tea. "And you told him you would marry him?"

"Someday," Haru stated. "That is, if we both live through the hellish days ahead." Takumi and Hinamori exchanged glances.

"Did something else happen, taichou? Maybe during your meeting with Shiro-cha—I mean, Hitsugaya-taichou?" Haru peered up at her sanseki, then dropped her head into a bow.

"I agreed to something... I probably shouldn't have."

"Which is?"

"To help him sentence each and every one of us to our own private hells." The words were so cutting, so serious, that neither of them had a response. They simply sat, wrapped up in their numb bewilderment. Only after Takumi looked down did he realize that the light in his cup was unsteady because his hands were shaking. Haru set her tea down and bowed her head to the ground. "I apologize to both of you, not just for the extra paperwork you'll be picking up when I'm working out strategies with him, but also for what those strategies will probably do to you at the end of things."

"What do you mean?" Hinamori asked, her voice shaking slightly.

"I mean that even the best plans go wrong because of contingencies." Haru clutched her knees and pushed her head up, keeping her eyes locked on an empty corner. "It could drive either of you, or even both of you, to a dark place you can't come back from. I'm not just talking about death. There are things far worse than that. Comas, madness, scars so deep that no amount of time can heal them... and even though I let myself think and hope and pray that nothing like that will happen to you, that someone else will be unfortunate to slip into the ravenous jaws of war, I can't ignore the fact that it's possible. Of the three of us, we could all perish, we could all live, or it could be a little of both. Regardless, fighting in that war will change us all in ways that our darkest nightmares fail to elucidate." Haru paused, her eyes fixed on her own reflection in the tea cup. Hitsugaya was right; she did look terrible. Despite her sound sleep the night before, there was a deeply rooted weariness in her eyes mingled with an unidentifiable shadow that was never there before. "Better me than anyone else. I'll bear the pain for as long as I can, but still... I could lose my mind or soul because of it, same as everyone else."

"Yamashita-taichou." Takumi's voice had a sharp edge to it, and he bowed his head. "If you think any of us are going down so easily, then think again."

"I'm just trying to prepare myself for every possibility." Haru raised her eyes and blew on her tea before sipping it again. Through the curtain of steam, they could both see that uncanny silver light slide across her eyes. "It's not hard for me to watch people die. I've done it so many times now. The old and the young; men, women, and children; impoverished and wealthy... it was that way with Shimori-san. I didn't bat an eyelash, and it scared the shit out of practically everyone there. I can keep a straight face in front of the dead; it's what comes afterwards that I still can't deal with, that ineffable empty void that remains in your life and the knowledge that the person who filled it will never be who they were. For better or worse, they'll live another life, and though that emptiness they left behind may shrink down to nothing more than a pinprick, it never really goes away." For some reason, that thought was followed by another, a recent memory, an echo of words she could only realize the weight of in retrospect. _Damn it... why the hell did I say something about that of all things? _She swallowed her tea with a huff and set her cup down, nodding her head to Hinamori and Takumi as she rose to her feet. She suddenly felt like being close to Byakuya. Maybe then, the whir of thoughts in her head would slow down to a gentle ebb and her heart would return to its normal rhythm. "Think about what I said. If you're ready to face those possibilities, then I can make sure you two are on the front lines together. Just remember that no matter how much Toushiro-san and I mull it over, we can't plan for everything." Haru paused at the door and turned back. "Thanks for the tea, Momo-san."

"Any time," she responded, watching as the door slid shut. Once Haru was out of earshot, Takumi gave a low sigh and tipped his head against her shoulder, jarring her almost to the point of upsetting the tea in her cup. She cradled the earthen vessel between her two hands and sighed into the steam still rising off of its surface.

"You ever..." he said quietly in her ear. "You ever feel certain that you understand something, only to find out you really don't?" Hinamori looked at him and was started to find his visible eye. She couldn't explain the look in it, but for some reason, she felt something sharp race through her. He gave her a smile with that same uncharacteristic air and averted his eyes. "Even if she said all those things about dying and death, it still strikes a chord in her, one that made me look away."

"What sort of chord?"

"I don't know," he murmured, "but when I saw it, some troubling things flashed through my mind, things I found myself not wanting to see." He shut his visible eye and tried to steady his hand, which was trembling as if it had touched that thing he had blinded himself to. After setting her cup down, Hinamori touched it and caused him to glance up abruptly, an inexplicable light arcing around his pupil. His grip on her hand tightened, and he pressed his head against her shoulder with a slow, sharp breath. "She's so afraid of it."

"Afraid of what?"

"Of death, of herself... of that hatred seeping out of the scars no one can see..." His voice trailed off. "Promise me something, Momo-san. Promise me... that if I die, you'll keep moving forward no matter what it takes."

"Takumi..."

"Promise me," he whispered, raising her hand to his lips and pressing them against her palm. "Please. I know we've got some time, but I can't stand thinking that my death would stop you from moving altogether. I get that it will slow you down, but don't stop moving. I can't bear it. I can't..." She felt a shudder run through him. Then, without warning, he threw his arms around her. There was something desperate in his movements, something that made her struggle for a moment, but it was no use. He didn't want to let her go; she had no desire to get away. "Until that day comes, Momo-san, I'm going to do everything I can to get stronger... strong enough to defeat my own fears and insecurities, but I'm going to need you to help me." Takumi released her, resting his hands on her shoulders and staring into her bewildered eyes. "Swing with all the strength you have and never stop being who you are." Her face flushed, and she hastily lowered her eyes, fixing them instead on her folded hands. The sudden chuckle startled her. "Sorry... I made you feel uncomfortable. Besides, I just got really serious now, and that's not really in my nature, is it?" She raised her eyes to his again. "No matter what happens, we should use the time we have now in any way we can that doesn't involve worrying about tomorrow. Isn't that right?"

"You promise me, too."

"What?"

"That if something happens to me, you won't stop moving; that when we fight, you swing with all your strength; and that, when we talk like this, you stay true to yourself." Takumi stared at her for a moment, then let a smile spread slowly across his face.

"Of course I will." He stroked the side of her face and stood up, pulling him after her. "Now, let's go. I want to spar before it's dark."

"Oi... matte!"

"Come on," he laughed, pulling her along.

"But the tea—"

"We'll get it when we're done." Hinamori attempted to counter him again, but he silenced her with his lips, then tugged her out into the twilight.

"That's hardly fair!" she objected.

"Oh, come on... it's more fair than what you did to me yesterday. Besides, you liked it, so what's the problem?"

"You're horrible." Takumi smirked and relinquished her hand, pacing slowly out into the snow and lifting his eyes to the sky. He stood like that for a few moments, just losing himself in a sky that wasn't entirely clouded over but one that was still distributing a heavy amount of white flakes on them, covering the scars of the world so they could be healed one spring at a time. Then, with a slow breath, he extracted his sword and blocked Hinamori's sword, shattering the silence of winter with the first of many blows.

* * *

><p>Haru started moving faster as the snow picked up. She rounded a corner and staggered before flashing forward again, this time up to the roof, and bounding through the air. She searched for some fragment of liberation that she simply couldn't find. Her feet returned to the road, and she rounded another corner, lifting her eyes and then slowing to walk. Her mouth hung open as she gasped for breath, but even that slowly faded as she continued forward. As Haru stepped onto the Kuchiki property, she felt the acute sense of being home. It was something she really hadn't had a chance to enjoy since she was constantly on her guard, but it was one that winter hadn't permitted her time to enjoy. With another gasp, prompted by the brisk wind, she pushed herself over the threshold and threw herself inside the door, sliding it shut and gasping for breath as the cold worked through every part of her. There was no point in shaking the snow off of herself. As she untied her sandals, her fingers quivered, but she finally managed to get her feet free. <em>What is this? <em>she thought suddenly, setting herself into motion again. _This desperation... what is it? _Her mind raced as she paced the hallway as quickly as she could. She even forgot to keep her steps quiet. _Why... am I suddenly like this? _Something inside of her knew what it was. The moment Haru had felt her reiatsu, nothing else mattered except finding him. She cast all formalities aside, possessed as she was with the sudden urge to see his face or hear his voice. She slid the door open without a word; its helpless bang was the only noise to shatter the silence.

Byakuya's eyes rose from the volume he had been studying and fixed themselves on her. Her hair was damp, her feet soaked, her eyes blazing. He didn't say anything, nor did his expression changed. They simply stared at each other until Haru paced forward and threw herself against him with enough force to nearly knock him to the ground. He had enough prudence to lift the volume out of the way so it wouldn't get damaged by the remnants of the snow. "I won't interrupt what you're doing," she murmured, "but will you let me stay like this?" He marked his page with a small slip of paper and placed the book he had been reading on the table nearby.

"Why say that when what we both know is that you need to talk?" Haru's head slid into a bow, but her hands remained wrapped around his captain's haori. "What happened, Haru-kun? You were gone this morning. I wasn't sure where you went."

"I went to see Toushiro-san." Her voice was flat and calm. "He asked me to help him with something."

"You are being vague."

"How do you tell the man you love you may be in charge of deciding which of a thousand deaths he will die on the battlefield?" Byakuya's expression changed, but his hands remained stationary. "Or that you've committed yourself to something impossible?"

"Impossible?" Haru knew he meant it as a question.

"I said I'd take a guess at which days Aizen would be most likely to attack, but I don't even know where to start. I could flip through a thousand records and find no patterns at all, or worse still, I could find things that point me in the wrong direction. At this point, it's all speculation. I've got nothing to go on. Takumi said earlier that he hadn't seen anything related to Aizen's attack." Byakuya glanced down at her. My guess is as good as any. I mean, he did kill both of my parents, but he's wronged so many at this point." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "I hate him."

"Haru-kun—"

"And if I ever get my hands on him, I'll make him suffer the worst possible death I can think of. I'll do it just for my own piece of mind, and to keep the hands of others clean." Byakuya digested her words for a moment.

"Could you live with killing him, Haru-kun?" He half expected her to be offended, but she simply lowered her head a little more.

"I don't know," she answered after a moment of silence had transpired. "I don't know... I don't know what to do anymore, not about this or about the hollow. Not about anything. The more I think, the more troubled I become, and the more my troubled mind gets tangled up in the circles it runs around itself. And the more I try to understand that, the less I feel like dealing with my own emotions. I just want to forget them. If I could do that, then things would be simple."

"But you can't."

"Why not? It would be easy for someone like me." For the first time since she had entered, Byakuya moved. His hands rose to her shoulders, glided along her neck, and rose to her face. He pressed his palms against her cheeks and gave her a look she hadn't seen in a long time, a look of askance. Even though he was already leaning forward, the question was lodged in his eyes, and she could do nothing but give a slight tremble as her eyes fell shut and her lips parted of their own accord. When she felt his lips brush against hers, she had to fight the urge to pull him closer. Fortunately, he drew away before Haru struggled too much. "It would be so easy to forget all of this," she murmured, but even as she said it, tears sprang from her eyes. "I would give it all up just for that power."

"Power?" The word glided between his lips in a low tone. "If you are half quincy and you forgot how to feel, what would that do to the half of your power that relies on your emotions?" Byakuya dried her tears with his hands before returning his palm to the side of her face.

"I'd manage," was all she said. "At least, then I can face all the possibilities running through my head."

"Such as?" Haru lowered her eyes for a moment.

"Byakuya-sama, did you ever get the impression that Aizen... may have had a more than platonic attachment to my mother?" He considered the question for a moment.

"I never paid attention."

"Was there anyone who could tell me?" Byakuya's brows fell together.

"Why would you want to know?" In silence, she considered the question, but even though she wasn't saying anything, her eyes darkened with each passing moment until the words began seeping from her lips.

"I didn't think about it much while I was there, but now that I'm back, I can't help but suspect it."

"Why?"

"Because the more I think about it, the more positive I am that if that hollow hadn't helped me, he would have driven me to a place I couldn't come back from." He glanced down at her, but her violet eyes still avoided his own. "That drug he was slipping me… whatever it was interfered with my limiter. He thought… that if all of my reiatsu were released at once, and if he destroyed every sign of who I was beforehand, he could somehow turn me into my mother and set me loose on Soul Society as an inhuman killing machine. But that wasn't his only reason. I heard him say he wanted to settle things with my mother. It begs the question... why would he kill me and leave her alive? I don't even know what he meant when he said that. Still... even now, when I'm remembering it, I can't help but perceive—or maybe imagine—that there were subtleties in his actions and manners, even towards me, that suggested…" Haru let the unfinished sentence hang in the air. Even that provided enough of a fringe to assist Byakuya in grasping at some fine line of truth, imagined or otherwise. He could have let the realization crush him, but instead, he pulled her into his arms.

"Haru-kun." He spoke in a serious tone, one that disabled her from doing anything more than making a sound of acknowledgment. "I admit that I cannot protect you from everything, but know this: as long as I draw breath, Aizen will not touch you." He smoothed her hair from her forehead and pressed his palm against it, causing a rather sharp flicker to race across Haru's eye. "And if he tries, then I will tear him apart." Haru knew Byakuya well enough to know that he doubted his own ability to do such things, and even though the logical shortcomings of such a statement screamed at Haru, she refused to vocalize their existence.

"Haru-kun," he murmured.

"Hmm?"

"Fight me." Haru was tired from the long hours she had put in and stiff from their spar from the evening before. The only things she wanted were a hot bath and a long sleep, but as she glanced up at him and saw that competitive fire burning in his eyes, she realized that she could never refuse him.

* * *

><p>Snow scattered everywhere as the wind blew, and Takumi gasped for breath as he raced through it. <em>Kuso... this came out of nowhere!<em>

_You didn't see it coming? _Akumashoku inquired. Takumi didn't answer right away, so the zanpakutoh supplied an answer. _That's right... you were too busy looking at her._

_Is it my fault that dodging her sword was more important than dodging the storm?_

_Hey... don't blame me for your lack of prudence. I'm not the one so wrapped up in his feelings that he can't even confess them. _Still, Takumi remained quiet, and Akumashoku supplied words that filled the silence._ You didn't have to walk her home._

_Urusai! It was the gentlemanly thing to do! _Takumi rounded a corner, and when he reached the door of his house, he threw it open, shutting it behind him and collapsing on the threshold with a series of deep breaths.

"Well, look who finally decided to show up." He lifted his eye to his sister, who smirked at him and poured him a cup of tea. "Take your sandals off and come up here, little brother. It's been a while since I've seen your face." He obeyed her request, throwing his shoes in a jumbled heap before climbing to his feet and seating himself across from Mari, still a little winded from the wind and the snow. After discarding his eye patch, he cradled the cup of tea in his hands, blowing gently on the liquid in the cup and sipping. It singed his frigid lips almost as much as Himamori had with the impulsive kiss she had given him on her own threshold, one that could have lasted longer if he hadn't pulled away.

"The snow." That was all he said before giving her a reassuring smile and slipping away into the whiteness descending. He thought of it with a smile.

"Ho?" Mari leaned forward, and Takumi jolted at her tone.

"What?"

"I know what that look is for. You're thinking of her, hmm? So, how far have you two gotten?"

"Onee-chan, please! It hasn't even been that long!"

"You were gone a long time last night."

"I told you it was on business!"

"And pleasure," she supplied. "You've been sparring a lot lately, but you've been doing other things, too."

"I'm not that kind of guy!" Mari laughed outright at her brother's declaration. "I'm serious! She's the one making the moves half the time!" He said it before he could stop himself, and after he did, his face quickly turning the color of his left eye. Takumi dropped his gaze and heaved a sigh. "Are you going to keep teasing me about this?"

"Why?"

"Because I've got a lot on my mind right now."

"What? Did she break up with you?" He couldn't hold back the glare. "Alright, alright. I'll let up. Jeez... when you look at me like that, sometimes I half think you could kill me if you set your mind to it." Mari studied him for a moment and saw a look creep over him that she had never seen from him before. "Oi, Takumi... what's the matter? Did something happen?"

"Yamashita-taichou said some pretty serious things tonight, things about the war."

"So?"

"Haven't you realized it yet?" he asked in a low voice that caused her to stir. "If she's afraid of dying herself, then we've got every reason to be, too. It could be any day now. This could be our last night together. Now that winter has fallen, all we can do is wait... wait and prepare ourselves for the inevitable. And the reason I fought Momo-san so long tonight is because I wanted to forget how much that thought scared me."

"But you didn't."

"How can I?" He said it quietly as his fingers curled around the fabric surrounding his knees and melting snow dripped from his hair onto the table. In the moonlight, Mari saw his shoulders tremble and heard him breathe sharply. "How can I... when I know it's the truth? I pretended I was okay for Momo-san, but I'm really not ready to face it." He paused again. "I'm... a terrible person."

"Hey." He raised his head slightly, but he didn't lift his eyes. "It's okay to be scared, Takumi. Even I am from time to time."

"You've never been afraid."

"Little brothers say that about their big sisters, but I've been scared plenty of times."

"Name one." She sipped her tea and ran a hand through her boyishly short hair, then gave him a smile that spoke volumes of her sisterly affection.

"When you were coming into your power, I was afraid you might die."

"It was nothing," Takumi answered.

"And when I figured out you fell for that girl, I was afraid she would break your heart."

"I was ready for that when I started pursuing her, but I don't think it will happen for a while yet, if it even happens at all." Mari smiled again and took a long sip of her tea.

"To tell you the truth, I was more afraid that you would stop leaning on your big sister and start leaning on her instead." She set her cup down.

"Huh?" he said, smiling in disbelief.

"It's true," she reassured him with a shrug. "At first, I really was scared. I didn't want to see you hurt. Then, one day, I realized I was the one hurting. Even though you bug the hell out of me sometimes and have more cheek towards me than little brothers should, and even though you've climbed higher than I can ever hope to, part of me still wants to protect you. Though... it's probably a stupid wish. You're a vice-captain, and I'm a fourth seat. We're not even in the same division. Still, they say blood runs thicker than water. I guess there's truth in the old cliché." She tilted her head towards the ceiling. "Your position as a high-ranking officer in the fifth division is synonymous with danger. You'll live on the front line, and if you're not careful, you'll die on it. My captain would call that an honor, but even if I act tough about it, I've been a little afraid of losing you since your promotion. Like it or not, you'll always be precious to me because you're my little brother. So if you're scared of something or doubting yourself and don't want to worry your girlfriend, you can always come to me. You can be an idiot sometimes, but I hope to the gods you're smart enough to know that."

"Ah," he murmured, nodding his head before bowing it lower. "I... understand."

"Hey, now... are you crying on me?"

"What of it?" Takumi didn't lift his eyes because he was ashamed of it. He heard Mari shift positions so she was sitting next to him. Then, with an insistent pull, one that he didn't resist, he was against her shoulder.

"Baka," she said in his ear. "This is why I'm telling you to talk about things. When you don't, you get all worked up like this."

"I thought I had talked it out," he murmured. "Guess I didn't."

"Takumi..." He felt her hand stroke the back of his head and nearly drowned in childhood memories. "You don't have to be afraid of what's inside you, because if nothing else, _that _will get you through the war alive and well." Takumi clenched his jaw and lowered his head with another sharp breath. He knew she was right; it was just something he didn't want to think about. The silence dragged on briefly, broken only by Takumi's resistant breathing, and it lingered until he had control over himself again.

"We're just the same after all."

"Come again?"

"Yamashita-taichou and I." He couldn't help but smile at the thought. "We're afraid of the same things, and we both want to avoid making the people we care about worry, so we wind up staying quiet instead of confronting things until it catches up with us and we cave. And also..." Takumi smiled. "And also, more than anything else, we are afraid of ourselves, because even though we think we're in control, even though we think we understand and know everything, we haven't really got a firm grasp on how powerful we've both become." He shut his eyes and felt exhaustion wash over him. "Do you think, in light of everything that's happened between our two families, our similarities are strange?"

"Strange as they come," Mari responded, "but if this Yamashita-taichou person is anything like you, she must be a kind-hearted person." Takumi smiled and sighed again.

"She's spent her whole life worrying about other people. Only now that she's facing her fear is she sparing any worry for herself."

"She sounds like a troublesome person."

"She is," Takumi answered with a sigh of relief and an oddly calm smile. "More than you could ever know."

* * *

><p>There was nothing sweeter than the sound of Byakuya's sword against her own. Haru was convinced of that by the time they had finished. They had exchanged blows for nearly half an hour straight, a whir of movements that made all her troubles seem distant and that lasted until they were entirely breathless, until their arms burned and the sweat dripping in their eyes half blinded them. Then, they simply fell to the floor and sprawled out on their backs, gazing at the ceiling and trying to get some feeling back in their numb hands. Haru still held Suzaku, but she had no intention of raising either it or herself. Byakuya was in a similar position with his head lingering just above her own. The swords still rang in her ears. Her heart seemed to beat to the rhythm of their blows. Haru moved her other arm and mopped the sweat from her forehead, still gasping for breath and secretly pleased that he was no better off than she was. "Kuso… I don't think I can move."<p>

"Neither can I," Byakuya replied. Despite how sore she was, Haru laughed. "And now, you are laughing at me." She stopped herself and tilted her head back to find him peering at her from his position on the floor. "I'm glad you did."

"Byakuya-sama..."

"Although I should be discomforted, you laughing at me in this state."

"It was your delivery, not your condition," she reassured him. Haru released a heavy sigh, and Byakuya's soon followed. She faintly perceived the contentment washing over her, through the numb heaviness of her arms and the slight burn of weariness in her feet. Even so, she felt safe, which was something that she hadn't felt in a while, but the thought of duty still lingered in her mind, and she suddenly grew still as her eyes sank shut. _What… should I do? _Haru asked herself. She was too tired to give the matter much thought. It would still be there in the morning, haunting her as it did in that moment.

"Haru-kun," Byakuya said suddenly. She snapped out of her thoughts and shifted slightly.

"Hai?"

"Put the matter from your mind."

"Nani?"

"You were thinking about your duty again." Suddenly, his eyes appeared above hers. She could feel his fingers tracing the contours of her face, and at the sensation, her eyes sank shut again. "Right now, I want you to think only of me."

"Baka," she retorted, her eyes flashing open. "If I do that, I'll get to be like you."

"Is that a problem?"

"It is when you skip your paperwork to hunt me down." His fingers twitched slightly, and she smiled at him. "It made me happy, Byakuya-sama, but really... I was fine. You didn't have to worry so much... or were you angry because I left without saying anything?" Haru tried to analyze his face, but it had become such a mixture of things at once that she couldn't determine what exactly he was feeling. "Were you afraid I wouldn't come back?" His eyes grew more serious at her speculation. With a sigh, she pushed herself up, wincing and nearly losing her balance, but Byakuya caught her and pulled her back against his chest, causing her to elicit a gasp and a shiver. After a moment, she recovered.

"Your clothes are still damp, Haru-kun," he noted as his fingers brushed against the edge of her shihakusho.

"It started snowing really hard on my way back," she confessed.

"It is snowing?" Haru turned back to him and nodded slowly. Without a word, he took her hand and led her forward. She only just had time to snatch Suzaku up and push it into the sheath. Haru fought off the desire to protest; she was cold and hungry, and there were still a fair amount of dark ideas racing around her head, but this was hardly the time to ask him to let go. He pushed the door to the garden open with one hand, pulling her along too quickly to allow her to close it, and they stood under the awning with the golden light spilling out from behind them. Haru stared at his face for a few moments, trying to read that odd look in his eyes, but as the fog of his breath struck the air and he glanced down at her, she dropped her gaze. "What is it?"

"You had a strange look on your face just now. I was trying to decide what it meant." Byakuya sighed and worked his fingers between her own without looking at her.

"When Hitsugaya-taichou asked you to help him, did you ever get the idea that perhaps he had a reason for it other than the one he told you?"

"I had gotten that impression. He tried to ask me about my power. He claimed it was for his strategies, but I know better because we are a little alike, he and I. We are both very curious. Our only difference in that respect is that I know when and how to curb mine, whereas he simply spends the day dropping subtle hints about the matter."

"What did you do?"

"Ignored them. Curiosity isn't a very good weapon against someone used to keeping secrets."

"You told him nothing?" he asked.

"Because when I finally come clean about it, I want you to be the first one." Byakuya glanced down at her, but her eyes were set forward, their violet hue vivid despite the yellow light behind them.

"Nande?" Haru's eyes flickered as they turned to him.

"Because I never forgave myself for letting Ichigo see my bankai before you did. I know the situation more than warranted it, but still..." Haru sighed and returned her eyes to the snow. "It should have been you. I didn't realize it at the time, but I realize it now. If I ever use my bankai seriously, I want you to be the first person to truly stand against it. When I fight you, I feel like... like there's nothing tying me down. All the social constraints, all my troubles... they just seep right out of my blade and drift away before I even realize they're gone. No one else makes me feel like that when I'm fighting them. Besides, it will give you a good excuse to show me yours." The light pooled in her eyes for a moment, then disappeared as she shut them. "You've told me about it, and although I've pictured it many times, I know the actual sight of it will be even more spectacular."

"Haru-kun."

"Hai?"

"You know he will find ways to discover your power, right?"

"I am well aware," she answered.

"If he wants to fight you, do it."

"Nani?" That old fire rose in her voice, and to allay it, Byakuya pressed his lips against her forehead, breathing one slow and misty breath before drawing away. A gust of wind flung snow against them, but they paid no heed to it. Their gazes remained locked before Byakuya finally bowed his head and drew her closer.

"I have seen your pride waver, Haru-kun... I have seen you in moments where your pride has shattered entirely. Do not let him do that to you."

"Byakuya-sama..."

"Understand this: I am not saying that because I am afraid you would never recover," he murmured, sighing against the top of her head. "I am saying it because of what I may do in return." He felt Haru shifting and slackened his grasp so her eyes could rise to his. "If you wish to curb my impulsivity, then protect your own pride, Yamashita Haru, or else I will protect it for you, and I fear I am not as merciful on the matter as you are." He stroked the side of her face and let his hand fall, turning to the wind that spitefully threw another glimmering wall of snow in his face. Haru felt her heart hammer slightly and slipped out of Byakuya's arms, pacing to the edge of the wooden floor before hoisting herself over the wooden railing and pacing into the snow. Although both lashed at her, she never once shivered. Instead, she lifted her eyes to the dark sky that was dumping heaps of white powder on the ground below.

"My bankai has three attack forms," Haru said. "And of them, I know two. It may be enough to beat Toushiro-san, but it will not be enough to beat Aizen." Her eyes moved to Byakuya, and his breath hitched at the smile on her face. "I have something else I have to do first, but once that's finished, I'll be striving for that third form with my whole self." She paused for a moment, trying to read Byakuya's gaze, then smiling slightly as awareness crept over her. "When I find myself getting discouraged, I'll remember to lean on you, and anyone else who will support me."

"You should do so for the power you are striving after now," Byakuya said flatly. Haru's eyes widened slightly, and she dropped her head so quickly that he threw his trepidation about the weather aside and joined her in the torrent of snow and wind. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled him against his back. "Haru-kun, do you know what bankai is?"

"Hai."

"You have only used it twice, so I highly doubt your claim." The comment wasn't meant to indicate his doubt in her ability to be a captain, and fortunately, Haru seemed to understand that. "There is something that books do not tell us about bankai, because it is simply something that cannot be put into words. You see, one must be powerful to activate bankai, but even if power does play a significant role in its awakening, it is the lesser of two elements. What bankai truly is, and what you should see it as, is not an expression of your own power, nor that of your zanpakutoh."

"What?"

"Your bankai is the product of enlightenment," Byakuya explained. Haru's eyes rose, full of a questioning light, and he smiled at her lack of understanding. If the wind hadn't already turned her face red, she would have blushed, but as it already had, her color only grew a little darker, drawing an even more intense smile to his face. It was something different, Byakuya's smile; she still wasn't entirely sure if she should be relieved or unsettled. "For a true shinigami, bankai comes about when you have fought and defeated your zanpakutoh. Fighting with one another not only draws you closer to your zanpakutoh, but it also reveals much of what exists in your own heart." Byakuya paused in a moment of silent reflection, and the smile disappeared from his face, but it remained in his eyes as an odd spark of light not cast by the light pouring onto the snow. "When I began striving for bankai, senbonzakura insisted that I was not yet ready because at the time, I thought my conception of honor was infallible and unbreakable. He showed me nothing until he knew I was ready to be awakened to that truth. Haru-kun," he stated, shutting his eyes. They flashed open, and she trembled slightly. "When you told me of your bankai in the past, you said it came about because Suzaku asked you if you wanted to protect what few precious things you had at the time."

"Hai."

"And you have learned since that day that there are some things you cannot protect." Haru nodded as she thought of Shimori, of the blame she had felt that day while she knelt over his dying form, of the absolution she had eventually gained, washed away either by the hollow's blood or by her other efforts. "When you fight another captain with your zanpakutoh as you fight me, it is not a mere struggle for victory, nor is it to improve our strengths and gauge our weaknesses. Our battles are conversations. We speak to each other through our swords. It is a voice without words, but from the way you strike, I can tell what you are feeling. If you listen, not merely with your ears but with every sense you have, then you will hear it. For that reason, I tell you once more…" Byakuya walked forward and embraced her, pressing a hand against the back of her head and slowly stroking her hair. He inhaled its scent and sighed against it before his eyes struck the moon again. "If Hitsugaya-taichou tries to make the wind blow, if he openly challenges you, then do not hesitate. Whether you win or lose, I would think no less of you or your right to stand among the captains of the Gotei 13." He felt a slight tremble work through Haru's frame, but she eventually raised her hands and clutched the back of his captain's haori. "Haru-kun."

"I'm fine," she answered. "The way you spoke just now... I've never heard anyone speak that way about a zanpakutoh." Byakuya gifted her with another glimpse of his smile, then pulled away and rested a hand on its hilt as the wind whirled furiously through the air. Without a word, he drew his sword out and made one upward cut. It was difficult to see what he had done, but she knew because of the way her pulse quickened what he had just shown her, a display of skill so stunning that she only just managed to keep breathing. In that cut, his sword had sliced through a single snowflake, and without the light from the doorway behind them, she never would have seen it. With a slow breath, Byakuya pushed his sword back into its sheath and turned to her.

"Sugoi," she stammered. He said nothing in return, but watched as an almost childlike wonder darted into her gaze. After a few moments, it settled into a glowing ember of interest, then faded to something that he still couldn't name. Haru examined him for a moment more, then nodded solemnly. "Alright," she said, folding her arms and smiling. "I will tell you everything there is to know about this sword." A spark of intrigue lit his eyes. "But first..." He arched a brow at this sudden condition. "Show me." He gave her a critical look. "Your bankai," she clarified, her eyes practically glowing with the fire shifting around inside of her. For a moment, he paused. Surely, she didn't mean now? But then, he found himself wanting to show her now. The sooner he did, the sooner he would get his own information. That wasn't the only reason, though. He wanted her to see it, see him as he was. Byakuya studied her for a moment, debating whether or not he could control it well enough not to alert Soul Society of his rashness or destroy his own house. Then again, what did it matter? The noble bowed his head.

"As you wish," he answered, raising his head. He pulled his sword free and released it, and although the ground was white, its sudden black ripple caused her to dart to his side as blades rose up in two rows from the void they were standing in. Haru heard its name from his lips, and suddenly, the air was full of snow and sakura petals, the latter resisting the wind, winding in serpentine pillars through the air. She hardly noticed one arm snake around her shoulders. Instead, she watched the other, watched his fingertips graze the cold air. Suddenly, the petals paused, hovering where they were, then scattered in every direction, each catching a snowflake and rendering it in two. The movement was so fast that, for a moment, the strong wind in the garden stopped moving. The fragments of snow slowly drifted to the ground and settled, and the breeze returned to its prior velocity. Byakuya glanced down to her to gauge her reaction and saw a look of awe etched into every corner of her face as she watched the accuracy and speed of his attack. With one movement of his hand, the blade rematerialized into its unreleased state, and he slid it into the sheath at his side, still keeping his arm around her shoulders. "So? How was it?"

"Amazing," Haru stammered. "I don't think I've ever felt so close to you." He started as she pressed her ear against his chest and imagined the sound of those petals rubbing against one another in every beat of his heart. "Byakuya-sama."

"Hmm?"

"We'll both catch a cold if we don't go in soon." Haru moved to return to the house, but he stopped her with one hand on her wrist. As she turned back, she saw something dangerous hovering in his sapphire eyes. She quivered, partly because of the cold, and partly because she wanted to know his reason for looking at her that way all of a sudden.

"You will hold up your end of the deal," he said calmly. "But first, we should eat something. A bath would probably not be a bad idea, either." She stared into his eyes for a moment longer, then gasped slightly as he wrapped her arms around her for the second time that evening. "It does not have to be tonight." The words fell in her ear and made her tremble. "We have time yet, and I would rather you not overdo it." Byakuya's grip slackened, and he paced towards the door, leaving her stunned in the midst of the storm. As soon as he called her name gently, she followed him, giving the disturbed snow one last glance before leaving the dark silence of night behind.

* * *

><p>You have reached the finish line! Enjoy a complementary cookie... and a Japanese lesson!<p>

Nande: Why

Sumimasen: An apology of sorts

Ohayogozaimasu: A formal good morning

Hai: Yes

Demo: But

Iie: No

Matte: Wait

Kuso: Japanese swear word! *squee*

Urusai: Shut up

Baka: Idiot, stupid

Nani: What

Sugoi: Amazing

I'm doing all of this quick because I want to keep working on the next one. Thanks again to my readers, reviewers, stalkers, etc. Until next chapter, take care, and happy reading!


	12. Chapter 12: Frost

A/N: Woot! Another chapter ready for posting! My apologies for the lack of posts. I have been reading the most wonderful book... and Fruits Basket... and I found my fantasy (genre) mojo, which seemed to have left me forever but suddenly came back. But I'm still here and still writing, even though my adventure is only a few days from starting. I'll do my best to keep updating for all of my lovely followers, readers, and commenters. A special thanks to the three of them: Juliedoo, NAO-chan33, and Almathia. Hugs to you all! You are lovely for taking the time to drop me a review.

I hope you all enjoy chapter!

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 12: Frost<em>

Soul Society didn't rest on account of the snow. Haru worked steadily through her paperwork, and Byakuya did much the same. In the evening, they sparred before dinner because it was the only way they could calm each other down after stacks of papers and the pressures of the upcoming war. Haru knew Takumi and Hinamori well enough to know that they were running on much the same schedule, but for their own reasons. Every now and then, she would notice a discrete sign that they were growing stronger, some subtle movement or nuance of expression. They looked confident, both in themselves and each other, and they often accompanied Haru when she addressed the division, encouraging them to assess their own strengths and weaknesses in combat and working hard to correct them. After a long day of paperwork, or else a morning of enduring Hitsugaya's subtle attempts to gain details about her own approach in combat while they strategized, the only thing she ever wanted was to fight Byakuya.

Her brush darted back and forth on that particular day as it usually did, first scribbling a row of characters, then returning to the ink well. Her eyes continued working over the document before she scrawled another kanji on the form. She paused for a moment, setting the brush down and leaning back in her chair. Takumi and Hinamori had left for a meeting, after which they would go to the mess hall for lunch since it was past noon. Haru had declined the invitation, insisting that someone needed to be there just in case a message came by. She wasn't really sure what she was expecting, but the sudden urge for a break from paperwork swept over her. After resting her brush aside, she threw the door of her office open and paced a hallway that led to the exit. Once she reached it, she stepped into the sun and released a breath, which rose as steam on the air. The sky was pale blue, but there were some white clouds building in the distance. It would probably snow later, a fresh covering on top of the thick blanket that had been dispersed on them several days before.

It wasn't a long walk to soukyoku hill, and for some reason, pacing up all those stairs and standing at the top of it was just what she needed to clear her head. She passed no one on the way since most of her ranks were still hard at work on whatever task they had been assigned. _Suzaku._

_Hai, Haru-sama?_

_Are you with me?_

_I am always with you, Haru-sama, even in silence._

_And… will you fight with me?_

_A foolish question, _Suzaku answered. _One that you should know the answer to._

_And if I fall?_

_Then I will fall with you, Haru-sama._

_Souka, _she replied, smiling as her hair haori swayed. _Then I'll have to be careful, won't I? _As Haru reached the top, she scanned her empty surroundings, then proceeded forward. Beneath the ruins of the scaffold, she knelt and rested her zanpakutoh in the crook of her arm. Her eyes fell shut, and her head bent slightly. Eventually, the cold air fell away, and she felt the familiar drops of rain falling against her skin. When she looked up, she saw Suzaku perched in the same tree, her wings folded, her azure eyes expectant. "Tell me something."

"What is it?"

"Why did you simply let me have bankai?" Suzaku peered at her wielder for a moment.

"I don't understand your question."

"I'm talking about that night you told me it existed," she answered. "The night when I was lying awake and wondering how I could ever stand against Aizen, the night I became so anxious about the prospect that you offered me a weapon that could defeat him." Suzaku continued looking at Haru, who leaned against the trunk of the tree the phoenix was perched in and bent her head. "Was it because I fought so hard to get my shikai? Was it because you didn't want to fight me? Or... is it because you know something I don't, that I'm not quite the shinigami I claim to be?" Violet eyes meandered up to her the phoenix, who ruffled her feathers and preened her breast, then dove down to the lower branches and swept around, her long tail flowing behind her. She hovered in the air for a few moments, spreading her wings as if to indicate the location of the truth. "I have been aware of it for a while now, but what Byakuya-sama said the night he talked about bankai... really got me thinking about it. Up to this point, all shinigami have reached bankai by fighting with their zanpakutoh and winning."

"Who's to say you did not defeat me in a fight?"

"I mean a physical fight."

"You gave bankai a reason," the phoenix stated, fluttering to Haru and landing on her shoulder. "Even though you hadn't figured yourself out, you were wise enough to see you weren't strong enough as you were. That was enough for me."

"Suzaku—"

"Haru-sama," she said firmly, ruffling her feathers and casting rain into the lake beneath Haru's feet. The ripples were soon lost among others. "You will learn in your own time what you are. Please don't make me tell you." Haru considered the words and bowed her head. So, that was how Hitsugaya felt... that nagging, urgent curiosity built inside of her for a moment, that long-forgotten need to know.

"I've been apathetic about it for so long..." Haru smiled and peered at the bird on her shoulder. "I became that way because the people around me didn't doubt and didn't care. Still, I'd feel better knowing, and I'd feel better being able to tell people with certainty what I am."

"What difference would it make?"

"Maybe if I knew, I could face ignis solus with a little more dignity." Suzaku peered at her for a moment, watched as Haru lifted her eyes to the dim sky and then lowered them to the vibrant water beneath her feet. "I want to understand what we're becoming, and what this change in my inner world really means. And..." Haru's eyes glimmered as she wrapped a hand around her arm, then pushed her sleeve up to her shoulder and shifted her reiatsu. They were faint at first, but then, they practically leapt into existence, two indigo bands around her upper arm, and another coming in just above the second, closer to her shoulder, a pale gray. "I want to know what these are for."

"They are not limiters, if that's what you think.

"I know," she murmured, pushing her sleeve back down. "But they hurt like hell. They keep coming in and out of existence, and it wouldn't be a problem if I weren't losing blood over it."

"You knew you would." Haru's eyes rose, and she questioned her zanpakutoh with her gaze. "The quincy warned you. You've been keeping them bandaged, right?"

"Of course I have. I don't want to bleed all over the place. It would alarm people. Still..." Haru sighed and paced forward, her steps rippling across the water's surface with the rain. "It's rather inconvenient, not knowing what they are or why they're here and simply knowing that they have something to do with ignis solus."

"Did the quincy say anything?"

"He said I should stop before they progressed any further, but he didn't really explain why." The rain drizzled down her neck and fell to the water below. "I don't suppose you know anything?"

"On the contrary," Suzaku answered. "I am aware of the pain those marks cause you, but bear with them, and don't stop."

"Suzaku." She spoke her zanpakutoh's name quietly, and with a deliberation that made the water around her stationary feet give a sudden ripple. "Tell me, how is it that I can suppress my emotions and yet still fight with the power that I do?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm part quincy, right? Surely, some portion of my strength relies on my emotions. That's where a quincy's power comes from, isn't it?" Haru raised her eyes to the sky again. "Without my feelings, I'm nothing but a blade driven by the most logical thing."

"Isn't that alright?"

"It isn't," Haru said quietly, "because the most logical thing isn't always the right thing." Her zanpakutoh's azure eyes glimmered in understanding. "I haven't always been sure that I'm doing the right thing, but I was when I began pursuing ignis solus. If it's a quincy technique driven by feeling, then why did nii-san tell me that I could lose my feelings by pursuing it? Will it stabilize my power enough for me to release the limiter on my reiatsu?"

"It has already happened once," Suzaku stated, causing Haru to jolt and suddenly turn her inquiry-filled gaze on the phoenix. "Yes... but only once."

"When?" she asked.

"When I was reborn." Suzaku glided off into the garden again, and Haru followed her, hopping around the lotuses that spotted the lake's surface. "Yes," she murmured as she glided through the air, weaving between raindrops and casting one azure eye at the shinigami pursuing her. "I'd say that was eighty-five percent of it."

"Suzaku!" Haru shouted as the phoenix shot higher. "You mean you kept it a secret? How could you?"

"Don't get offended," she said from her lofty position in the sky. A blur of red shot downwards, the golden tip of her wing skimming the water before she pulled up and made the same movement several more times, always arching around her wielder, who folded her hands and watched. Finally, the phoenix froze in the air and descended more slowly towards Haru's face. Suzaku saw traces of offense there. "You were simply not ready to know. Had I told you, you may have done something reckless, like actually trying to use the full of your power. You are not ready for that yet, but you are on your way."

"So does that mean these markings on my arms are to allow me—"

"They are many things," Suzaku interrupted, fluttering back and perching on Haru's outstretched arm. "They are the fulcrum and the lever, the hand and the scales, the end... and the beginning."

"They'll right my balance?"

"They will end balance as you know it and begin it anew." The phoenix paused and peered up at Haru, watching the girl as she took all of the information in. "They are a preparation."

"A preparation?"

"Your body is becoming accustomed to two different styles of combat, a single-sword style that relies solely on me, and a dual-sword style that integrates quincy weaponry. Over time, it has become clear to me that I alone am not sufficient to let you release your full power. If you ever put that much reiatsu out while holding only me, it would probably kill you, but with another weapon..."

"With a Seele..."

"By balancing your power between two blades, you could probably do it." Suzaku paused. "That is to say nothing of bankai."

"Bankai?"

"You told the Kuchiki everything you knew about the risen forms. You told him their names and their abilities." Suzaku wheeled through the air again, darting by numerous times as an incomprehensible blur of red. "You only know two risen forms. To understand and achieve the third, you need ignis solus first."

"What?"

"I'm saying that, much like my prior forms, this is a case in which one must succeed the other."

"But what about my emotions? Will I really lose them like Ishi-nii said?"

"Did your father lose his?" Haru peered into the water of her own being, sank to her knees on its surface, and considered the matter for a moment. She remembered his smile, his laugh, even that look of anguish that had painted his face. Then, out of nowhere, she was sacked by the full weight of the last look he had given her, that solemn yet placid smile.

"Iie." She said it aloud. "Those eyes... I can only see in retrospect how scarred they were, but emotionless? Iie... those were the eyes of a man who risked everything for power and won." Haru looked up at Suzaku, who had not yet stilled and who was still cutting through the air in great loops and figure eights. "Demo..."

"Demo?"

"It may be more risky for me because I have my mother's shinigami blood."

"It could be less!" Suzaku called as she began to descend. The speed cut a line in the water, which proceeded to settle back into place as Suzaku landed, her feet touching the surface. All of the lotuses seemed to turn to her quite suddenly. Haru felt a shift in the core of her being and took a slow breath. "I won't blame you if you stop because of the uncertainty—"

"Iie," Haru said firmly. "You know me well enough to know, Suzaku, that once I start something, I finish it." Her expression changed in an instant, and she heaved a sigh, skimming the lake's surface with her hand.

"You still appear grim. Are you afraid of your own power?"

She shook her head in response. "I am only afraid… of what I can do with it." A smile appeared in the azure eyes, and the phoenix crept forward, bowing her head as Haru stroked the top of her head with one finger, then shifted it to beneath her beak. She let out a low sound of approval, a fragment of melody that sent the water shifting in delight.

"Never back down, Haru-sama." Violet eyes wandered to the phoenix, who seemed suddenly aware of things that she herself could not yet grasp. "Never back down, and never hold back. Swing your sword to protect your pride, and if you can't bear the feelings that make you swing, then I'll hold onto them until you can again."

"Suzaku..."

"I won't let you lose your sense of self," she said. "So don't you dare let go of it."

Those were the last words she heard before she opened her eyes. Relieved, confused, and somewhat cold, Haru got to her feet and dusted the snow off of her zanpakutoh, fixing her eyes on Soul Society and scanning its surface while she tried to return herself to a paperwork frame of mind. For some reason, she couldn't, not with the thoughts of what Suzaku had just told her. _Don't worry about ignis solus right now, _her zanpakutoh stated. _You have other things to see to._

_Other things? _That was the moment she recognized it, the thing that had dragged her out of herself.

She wasn't alone.

Without turning around, she smiled, her hand instinctively wandering to the hilt of her zanpakutoh. In a low tone that sounded expectant, she murmured, "Good afternoon, Toushiro-san."

* * *

><p>Hinamori and Takumi returned to the fifth division headquarters after lunch. As they walked, they exchanged words, mainly about the division. "I think it would be a good idea to address the division," Hinamori said suddenly.<p>

"What? Again?"

"They seem a little... I don't know. Ill at ease. I think they're scared."

"So am I, and who wouldn't be?"

"But unlike you, they aren't exactly experts at confronting their fear."

"You have a point," Takumi noted with a confident grin. "I am pretty good at it." Hinamori punched him in the arm with enough force to make him wince, though it was followed by a chuckle. "Hey, what was that for?"

"For being so big-headed." Takumi's smile became more subdued as he turned away, and something strange raced across his eyes. He couldn't bear to show Hinamori his troubled face. This time, it wasn't the war. He had had his moment of panic and overcome it, though aftershocks frequently rattled his brain. Slowly, he knew, he was coming to terms with what he would have to do. He would have to kill... he may even have to die, and the only reason he was afraid of dying was because he would be leaving Hinamori behind. Thoughts of atrocities he could commit with his sword haunted him nightly in his dreams, and in them, he was always horrified, and not merely due to the deeds his hands wrought. It was being able to commit them with a straight face and a steady hand that frightened him.

But worse still was that feeling that had come somewhere between the second-to-last onigiri and the final sip of tea. It was the same feeling he got right before a storm broke over Soul Society. He pressed a hand to his eye in an attempt to focus, even going so far as to shut his visible one entirely. Just when he thought he was getting somewhere, he felt a sharp tug on his arm and heard Hinamori apologizing. Startled, he blinked and looked up at one of the fifth division members, chuckling softly and bowing his head in apology before continuing beside her. "How long have you been spacing out?" she demanded. A bewildered Takumi peered at her. "What were you even thinking about?"

"Nothing important," he answered, his smile fading.

"I was just saying that we should be honest about our own reservations when we address them. Speaking of, when do you think we should?"

"We can do it in a few days, but let's make sure it's convenient for taichou first." Takumi pulled the door open and allowed Hinamori to walk in, then pulled it shut behind him. "Could you talk to her? I want to get back to the paperwork."

"Sure thing. I'll be by in a bit to check on you. Don't you dare let me find you slacking off."

"Hai, hai."

"I'm serious!" Takumi grinned and disappeared into his office, sitting down at his desk with a heavy sigh and leaning back in his chair. He felt that uneasy feeling bubbling up in him again, and he couldn't exactly pinpoint where it was coming from.

_Is it the fact that she's protecting that hollow? _He slung an arm over his eyes and leaned back. _No... why would I be thinking about something like that right now? _Takumi heard his office door slide open and leaned forward, rubbing his temples and curbing the urge to sigh again, instead taking the top form from the stack and wetting his brush. "So, what did she say?"

"Takumi."

"Yeah, I know... don't slack off."

"Yamashita-taichou..." Hinamori's voice trailed off for a moment. She waited until Takumi finished scrawling on the form to finish her sentence. "She isn't in her office."

"Maybe she just got tired and took a break. She has been working hard. She even had a fever the other day after that big snowstorm we had."

"You didn't tell me that!"

"I didn't want you to worry," he said hastily. "Besides, she got better, so what does it matter?" His hand shifted back to the ink, but the brush slid right out from between his fingers, which suddenly seemed unwilling to grip anything. Takumi's visible eye widened, and his head gave a sudden reel as the truth dawned upon him. His visible eye practically glowed with it. Then, slowly, it sank back to its normal size as his head gave a reel so violent that he had to hunch forward for a moment.

Hinamori was beside him in an instant, her arm around his shoulders and her mouth next to his ear. "Takumi. Oi, Takumi!"

"Nani?" he managed, his head sinking a little lower.

"Are you alright? You don't look so good."

"Maybe it was something I ate."

"I ate everything you did, and I feel fine." She paused as his eye turned to her. "What did you see?"

"Something I should have seen sooner." Takumi rested his head against her shoulder for a minute while the world properly realigned itself. "Kuso," he said through clenched teeth. "Why is it that when I just start getting the feel of things, shit hits the fan and everything gets screwy again?"

"What are you even talking about?"

"Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice..."

"You're talking nonsense!"

"It's a poem," Takumi retorted. "And, unfortunately, it's all I can say on the matter at hand."

"What matter? I don't understand..."

"Momo-san." He lowered his voice to nothing more than a whisper. "Let that be the end of it, won't you?" She was about to acquiesce, tell him that she would let it go, but then she felt it, that spike of reiatsu that made her eyes widen and her body turn. Before she could move, Takumi seized her wrist, and she whirled back to him, an offended look painted on her face.

"Let me go, Takumi."

"I can't."

"You release me this instant, or I'll—"

"If you're worried that it's a hollow, I can tell you now that it isn't." Takumi's tone was even, and his grip firm even when she lurched in a vain attempt to escape his grasp. He felt the realization pulse through her, and that made her struggle all the harder. He kept his grip just loose enough not to bruise her, but her skin was starting to turn red. "It's not our place to stop them, I'm afraid."

"What are you saying, Takumi? I can't just..." There it was, that pleading look in his overly calm eyes. Slowly, guiltily, he pushed up her sleeve and drew her wrist to his lips, gently brushing them against the spot that had reddened from his grasp. His eye appeared suddenly, clear and azure, as he sank into in his chair. When he was sure she wouldn't bolt, he released her arm and cleared his throat, lowering his serious expression to the form he had been writing on. Hinamori watched him, completely incredulous, as he lifted the brush again and proceeded to fill out his form.

"There will be a day when we can throw caution to the wind and run after her," Takumi explained. "But today, I'm afraid, we must wait for the answer ourselves."

"The answer?"

"Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice" he repeated with a smirk. "I'd save you from both if I could, but given the choice, which end would you prefer, Momo-san?"

* * *

><p>Nothing but air separated them, and a few flakes of snow that rose at the sound of Haru's words. Hitsugaya didn't answer, at least not with words. His hand fell to his zanpakutoh, and her eyes followed its descent, watched as it clenched his sword with enough force to turn his knuckles white. "What are you going to do?" she asked.<p>

"Isn't it obvious?"

"Perhaps a better question would be why."

"Why should be obvious enough." He pulled his sword free and pointed it at her. "I've been trying to figure you out for five days. I'm stick of waiting for answers, and I'm sick of you evading my questions."

"You never asked me any questions."

"Bull shit," he retorted. "Don't tell me you didn't pick up on any of my insinuations."

"If you want something clearly, you should just ask for it. You don't have to draw your sword."

"It's the only way I'm getting any answers." He flashed forward, but Haru had already moved. "Besides..." Hitsugaya turned to her and readied his sword again. "If you don't fight, I'll just unseat you." A jolt of fear went through her, but she curbed it with the reassurance that he was bluffing. "And don't think I won't," he added after a moment. "With all the unorthodox things you've done, protecting a hollow..."

"Who told you that?"

"Nobody had to. I guessed you were. Probably something about paying a debt."

"That's none of your business!" Haru shouted.

"Really, now?" he said calmly. "I can think of several people whose business it should be. The only reason I haven't said anything yet is because I trust you enough as a captain to do the right thing when the situation calls for it."

"You mean kill him?" Haru said through her teeth. The very thought appalled her for some reason, but she shoved that thought from her mind as Hitsugaya continued.

"Let's see how well you protect that hollow without your captain's haori." Haru's eyes gave off an almost dangerous light, and the hand on her sword tilted, but she refrained from drawing. "And what about your vice-captain? You've been protecting him, too. I doubt any other captain would be nearly as generous with him as you have. He's a Fujiwara, after all... I expect him to snap any day now and kill everyone who happens to be close to him. If that involves Hinamori..." Hitsugaya's gaze grew cold and certain. "I'll kill him without a second thought, just like I will that hollow if I ever happen to catch it anywhere near Soul Society." The very thought numbed Haru's mind and caused a whir of unpleasant images to flash through her mind one after the other. "Besides," he continued after a moment, shifting his sword into a ready position. "Hasn't a part of you always wanted to finish what we started back then?" Haru shut her eyes and recalled her brief time as a third seat, recalled how their blades had come together, recalled how she had had to restrain herself, all because Byakuya showed up at an inconvenient moment. She had disarmed him, true, but she had wanted to fight him with all she could. In that moment, she resisted the urge, curbed it with every reassurance she could give herself, but then, Byakuya's words flew through her mind and made her hand relax. "You can't tell me you haven't been expecting something like this."

"On the contrary," she sighed. "Some part of me suspected it since the first day, but as I said before, if you want something from me, why not just ask for it instead of come up here and throw a heap of belligerent threats at me?" Haru's hand fell away entirely, and she folded her arms in contemplation. "Hmm... why do I get the feeling… that something like this is recorded somewhere in the vast realm of poetry?"

"Draw your sword," Hitsugaya commanded. "I want this to be over so I can go back to the office and finish my paperwork. If you hold back even one bit, I'll beat you."

"If you were content with your paperwork, then that's where you should have stayed." A bitter glint crossed his jaded eyes at having his own words thrown back at him so quickly and so calmly. The fiery anger that had been there a few moments ago, the horror at having one of her secrets extracted so quickly, all seemed to fade away. She paced calmly forward with her eyes still shut and her arms at her side. "Let me tell you something, Hitsugaya Toushiro. It's not often I speak this way, so you had better listen." From across the white chasm of snow that separated them, Haru shot him a disconcerting look. "If you threaten the things I protect... yes, I am referring to that hollow... if you threaten even one of them, I don't care who you are or where you've come from. I'll crack your damn skull open, and if that doesn't work, then I can always try it without the sheath." She took one more step before disappearing from sight. As the frames of time drifted by, Haru tightened the grip she had on her katana's hilt and shut her eyes. _Suzaku..._

_Hai, Haru-sama?_

_Let me speak through you, Suzaku, but... even more than that, help me to listen, to hear what Toushiro-san is really trying to tell me._

_Then speak, Haru-sama. Today, I'll give you the tongue for it. And as for listening... _Her zanpakutoh's voice trailed off. _I'll give you the ears for it, too. _Suzaku appeared as a flicker of pale light across a metal surface, and it clanged against Hitsugaya's weapon so loudly that he gave an involuntary flinch. Once he recovered, he swung his own sword in a counterattack that Haru darted around another blow and swung upwards, knocking him back and then racing after him.

_Toushiro-san, listen to me. _As she spoke the words in her mind, Haru exchanged blows with the skill of a practiced veteran and a wisdom that far surpassed her years. _I respect your strength as a captain more than words can say. I understand your qualms with my way of doing things. Still, given the circumstances you have provided me with, given the fact that you just threatened to unseat me as a captain, I… _Haru flashed out of sight, reappearing behind him a moment later and sweeping her sword through the air. As Hitsugaya turned to her, she watched a few drops of blood descend to the snow and threw him a look that said all too well the words she uttered in her mind. _I cannot lose. _

Hitsugaya adjusted his hold and raised his sword in front of him. Haru wrapped her other hand around Suzaku's hilt and took a step in the same direction. He was trying to decide the best way to deal with her by analyzing the way she was moving, but her steps revealed no chinks in her armor, and her gaze never faltered. They circled each other with the same slow movements for some time, and all the while, Haru watched him. He was waiting for her to say something else, but she never did, not with words, at least, and not in a way that he could understand. Irritated at the sudden lull in action, he raced forward, but she remained rooted to the spot. She seemed to be focused on something inside of her. _What is she thinking about? Is she… is she going to try to kill me? _He pushed the matter from his mind and jabbed forward, but Haru avoided his katana altogether. With each swing he made, she weaved her body to avoid it. She only struck once he got tired, and with such force that he slid backwards.

She wasn't about to relent. Her next downward swing nicked his shoulder, but it left an opening just long enough for him to sweep the sword across her line of sight. Haru drew back and instinctively raised her right hand, the flesh of which bled freely as a result of his cut. For a moment, surprise flickered across her gaze. He spotted another opening and moved to utilize it, but she had already moved forward, past the sword that he was about to lower. The same hand that he cut wound into a ball and smashed against his chin hard enough to knock him to the ground and send him across the snow. He managed to get to his feet, spitting some blood out of his mouth and wiping his chin, then charging her again. Hitsugaya's blade moved to take off her head, and Haru ducked the blow, swinging one leg outwards as she dropped into a crouch in an attempt to throw him off balance, but he seemed to expect it. After readjusting her footing, Haru launched herself forward and shoved her sword against his. They lingered together for a moment before Hitsugaya shoved her back and came at her again.

_Tell me, _she pleaded as she blocked his attacks and made some of her own. _Tell me why... tell me what makes you think you have any right to take away my position. Haven't I protected everything? And haven't I protected Grimmjow-san in a way that doesn't impede on my duties here? Tell me... _Haru's eyes drifted shut, and she listened to Suzaku strike against his sword. There was a tone to it, one that was entirely different from Senbonzakura's, yet familiar somehow. She listened to it each time their blades met, and when she dodged by implementing her agility, she listened to it cut the air.

Aggression. That was the first thing she noticed. Of course, Haru wasn't surprised, considering the fact that he saw her as an enemy in that moment. There was something deeper than that, though, an even quieter whisper that her ears couldn't make out yet. He changed tactics, seeing that his sword was doing no good, and extended a hand to fire a blast of kidou at her, but Haru was prepared for that. She drove Suzaku forward until its point contacted the building ball of energy, which burst to gold flames and scattered before it could properly materialize. With difficulty, Haru deflected his next swing, but by then, he had gathered his focus. She dodged the first attack and retreated to a safe distance and swung her sword again to cut it in half. Then, she let Suzaku fall to her side and raised her right hand. A bit of blood dripped into the snow. Haru regarded the injury grimly. It may have been minor now, but it could make or break her when she used ignis solus.

_I don't understand it. _Haru's sword fell against his. She perceived that the force behind his blow was stronger than it had been. _There's something suspicious about this whole thing, and I can't figure it out. How can you expect me to give you all of the answers if you won't let me listen to you? _The interval between his blows shrank until Haru could barely distinguish one from another. The only thing that kept them separate were the minor adjustments she made to her hold to block them and the fact that she repeatedly had to step backwards._ Does he think I will give him all of this ground? _With the next block, Haru tried to turn the tables by pushing him back, but he seemed to have been expecting it. She barely had time to pull one arm back as the chain extended and ensnared her sword. The point of the half-moon blade cut her shoulder deep enough for her to wince, and his shadow suddenly came between her and the sun that was creeping through the clouds.

He had her. This had to be it. What could she possibly do with her sword immobilized? She wouldn't risk hurting herself by firing kidou at such a close distance, and she couldn't block his zanpakutoh with one hand, or she might lose some fingers. Haru saw the triumph in his eyes and shut her own, seemingly to wait for what was to come. He didn't notice that the right hand she had pulled away at the last moment suddenly slipped beneath her captain's haori, nor did she notice her fingers nimbly tilt the concealed weapon into her hand. Hitsugaya's sword fell downward, and he expected it to cut something more solid than air, but it was met halfway by a gleaming sword that seemed to appear out of thin air. The blow held enough force to throw him backwards, and Haru stumbled slightly as the chain pulled her forward. Once she saw she could use the velocity to her advantage, she vaulted at him and swung again. He only had time to tilt his head, but the blade, whatever it was, still left a hairline cut on his ear. By then, she had made some shift to her reiatsu, and though it felt faint, he assumed it was drastic, because the chain around her arm suddenly unwound and fell into the snow.

"That's a bit of a dirty trick, hiding another sword. Just what is that thing?"

"You're smart," Haru responded, extending the arm that held her zanpakutoh to check for injuries, then pointing it directly at him while letting the other weapon hang at her side. "You figure it out." Tired of her riddles, her vague answers, and her avoidance of any hint of inquiry having to do with her power, Hitsugaya retracted the chain and shot forward again. _Apparently, he believes that with two swords, I am no more powerful than I am with one. He expects more of the same. _She mused over it for a moment and smiled. _It's about damn time you start talking back, Toushiro-san… you obviously underestimate me. _Haru flashed aside just enough to escape his zanpakutoh, and when it changed direction, she disappeared again, appearing slightly to the left of his sword.

_What do you plan to do, Haru-sama?_

_I'm going to use ignis solus, but first... _She turned and flicked her Seele into the air. _I'm giving him a taste of the nature of its movements._

Haru shot forward and got close enough to inflict another minor wound with her zanpakutoh. She blocked his katana with her Seele and shoved it back effortlessly. He was forced to dodge her next strike, as well as the relentless barrage that followed. She was always in motion, always changing direction, always seeking an opening, and, unbeknownst to him, always listening when his sword would contact one of her own weapons. Her eyes, despite the situation, were placid and expectant. She seemed to know that he was leading her on, though he couldn't understand on what level she expected it. Tired of the constant defense, Hitsugaya leapt back and turned his sword through the air. "Soten ni zase," he murmured, causing a touch of surprise to flit across Haru's face. "Hyourinmaru!" The ice serpent raced at her, its crimson eyes touching some nerve in her. She thought she had gained some understanding in that moment, but she wanted to be sure. Haru closed her eyes and waited until it was just about to envelop her. Then, she sliced through it with a swift swing from her Seele.

_Now, _she thought as she flashed out of sight. As she stepped aside, she noticed the large patch of ice where she had just been standing. _Let's see if I really have heard you right, Toushiro-san… _By then, a duplicate of the same dragon was winding towards her, but rather than stepping aside as she had before, she let her Seele hang and, as she had before, raised her zanpakutoh. This time, Hitsugaya definitely felt something, the first trace of her reiatsu he had felt since Haru had reappeared in Soul Society, and while there was something familiar in it, there was something entirely different about it as well. The square hoop at the top of Suzaku's hilt shook, and the ribbon trailed out behind it. Haru's feet parted slightly, and through her lips, she drew one long breath before releasing a trail of words on the air. "Saidou joushou, Suzaku." Just as the ice nearly reached her, her shikai released fully, and she cut the snow in front of her. "Dai ni keitai: kagehi."

A wall of blue flames leapt up between her and the ice, but Hitsugaya wasn't deterred. The dragon shot right through the flames and consumed them, but its jaws were again empty. Suddenly, Haru appeared at his right. Their eyes met in a prolonged moment before her zanpakutoh moved. That determination still lingered, vexing him even more than he had been before. Hitsugaya raised his sword to block, and Haru met it with equal force. They remained locked together for some time because she was busy studying him. "Fool," he murmured. "You think you can beat the most powerful ice zanpakutoh in Soul Society?"

"You're the fool," she answered. "You threatened that hollow, my vice-captain, and my status, but most of all, you have offended my pride. By doing so, you have put me in a position where I have no choice but to defeat you."

"Don't make it sound so easy!" Hitsugaya pushed her away, and her feet slid across the snow. "Soukatsui," he said, raising his left hand and launching a blast of kidou at her. Haru simply cut upwards with her zanpakutoh, and the kidou turned to silver flames that soon disintegrated to dust on the air.

"Mizuhi," she said calmly, lowering her sword and shooting forward. Hitsugaya blocked her next blow but forgot about the Seele, which raced along his shoulder as her zanpakutoh moved back. Haru blocked his strike with her Seele, but had to withdraw due to the ice. She reappeared behind him, but the chain also came at her. Haru knocked it away with her Seele and adjusted her reiatsu to shatter the ice, then met his zanpakutoh again with her own. _Yes… _she thought. _The more I think about it, the more it makes sense, but a mere thought is nothing, not when my ears can hear what this sword whispers about. _The dragon raced at her again, but Haru was ready this time, ready to counter with an attack of her own. She threw her head skyward for a moment and let a smile wash over her face because it was all futility. "Omote han," Haru murmured as she raised her sword. "Seishinhi!"

A wave of flaming reiatsu rushed forward and obliterated the ice. It wouldn't be tamed by the cold, frozen fingers. The golden flames shot straight for him, but Hitsugaya leapt back before they could reach him. Suddenly, through them, Haru appeared right in front of him with that same placid expression on his face, but there was something different about it, something almost sinister. No... it wasn't sinister. It was that state creeping up on her, that emotional wasteland that she was slowly sinking into and resisting. He thought he was seeing things, paused to rub his eyes. When he looked back at Haru and perceived that the sinister trace was gone, he fought off the relief that swept over him and blocked her long awaited blow with ease. Their katana fell together again, and the same ring fluttered through the air. Haru drew a quick breath and attacked again, this time with her Seele. She spotted the chain winding towards her just in time and knocked it away. The blade of her katana slid along his until it touched his hilt. Hitsugaya broke the contact and cast another serpentine stream of ice at her. She was too close to flee, and it was too fast to properly counter.

Haru glanced from her Seele to her zanpakutoh. _How troublesome. _The power raced through her blood in an instant. Suzaku seemed to have been waiting for it, and the Seele, despite lacking a definite consciousness, seemed to yearn for a reunion with its wielder. "Ignis solus!" The shift in her reiatsu was enough to shatter the ice and to make her hunch forward to silence the cry of pain that wracked her body, but Hitsugaya was by no means finished. He swung again, and the same serpent appeared. Once she gathered her senses, Haru darted back, watching as it pursued her. _Damn, _she thought, adjusting her hold on the Seele. _To think he'd push me this far so quickly… I know he's strong, but this is absolutely ridiculous. _Haru bolted towards the dragon and thrust the Seele into its head, but it was not deterred. It flew past her, touching one arm and drawing a distinct feeling of numbness over it. Desperately, she slammed Suzaku's hilt against the ice and fortunately stopped it from hindering her movement. _I have to get above it, _she thought, darting aside as it tried to swallow her again. _I can't show him that I'm thinking about that, though. _

Haru just contented herself with dodging for a time, but the amount of ice on the field was seriously beginning to hinder her movement. She worked much better with flat surfaces. To dodge again, she had to dig her sword into one of those irregular surfaces and arch her entire body. Her feet came into contact with the slant, and she tumbled backwards. It was almost a lethal error, as Hyourinmaru had doubled back on itself and was now shooting towards her again. By the time it reached her, Haru got her footing and used Shunpo to disappear. The head of the dragon was just below a coil in its body, and Haru used that position to her advantage. She appeared facing downwards with her feet resting against the ice. _Suzaku, I must ask you to let me use the third form._

_You have my permission._

_And houkai danketsu?_

_You are stable enough to use it._

_Then, shall we? _Using her foothold on the ice, Haru shot downwards with immense speed and severed the air with her katana. Once she felt the spirit particles drift into place, she arched the blade and swung it downward with more zeal than she usually put into it. Still, it felt admittedly good to use that form again. "Saishuuteki na keitai: Shinseinahi!" A twister of crimson flames appeared and obliterated the dragon. Haru reappeared a short distance away, driving her zanpakutoh into the frozen earth and dropping to one knee. She had braced herself for the worst, but before she could initiate the collapse she had hoped to create, the entire body of flames had turned to ice. "Impossible," she heard herself say. For the first time since the fight began, a touch of uncertainty washed over her. _How… how can he just overturn my third form? My third form… the apex of my pride… just like that…_

Haru had paused for too long. Pain, unfathomable pain, shot through her leg. At first, she didn't react to it. Her expression remained the same, lost in astonishment. Slowly, her eyes dropped, and she realized that her own Seele was sticking out of it. The blade of spirit particles was jammed into the ground, and a pool of warm blood began spreading across the leg of her hakama. Her head spun for a moment, as if rebelling against reality, but there was no mistaking it. Her leg had been impaled by her own weapon, expertly thrust into it by the captain standing overhead. His appearance was slightly different than before. His right hand was encrusted with an ice-like talon, and behind him was spread a pair of icy wings. It was definitely her mistake. She had been paying so much attention to her own reiatsu that she forgot to make sure his wasn't changing.

"Souka," she murmured, bowing her head and resting her hand on the Seele. "That's the way it's going to be, then…"

She made no move to react, not even when he appeared directly in front of her. "You know the trouble with two weapons, Haru, is that if you let go of one of them, your opponent can utilize it against you." Her eyes appeared, dim but still determined. "All you have to do is kneel, Haru. I'll let you go if you do." The very idea of it was so absurd and so infuriating that she slammed Suzaku into its sheath without thinking and swept the sheathed weapon through the air. Hitsugaya was lucky to escape with his head in tact. When she breathed, she realized that her breaths were quivering, probably because the immense pain she was in. "Do you think you can fight me on one leg, Haru? Do you think you can fight my bankai? Don't be so arrogant!"

"Urusai!" she snapped, pulling the Seele out of her leg without so much as a trace of hesitation. Her expression twisted into a momentary look of pure agony, and one sharp cry of pain passed her lips, but when she set her feet apart, she appeared no closer to falling than before. "You'll let me live? Oh, how utterly benevolent of you! Let me tell you something, Hitsugaya Toushiro. I've had a lot of things taken from me in this life, but I'll be damned before I let anyone take my pride!"

"What pride can you possibly have left?" Haru narrowly avoided the sweep of his sword, but the moment she noted his reiatsu flexing ever so slightly, she got the feeling that she had slipped up again. She only just managed to escape the ice that engulfed the spot she was standing. The pain she felt when she put weight on her left leg was unbearable, but she still stood, hiding every sign of her discomfort with an expression that was unsettlingly determined. "Running away from everything, hiding your power, sheathing your sword in the middle of battle…" Haru glanced down at her zanpakutoh and realized that it had finished turning black. Her eyes moved back to Hitsugaya instantly. "What can that accomplish?"

"Let me ask you something, then," Haru stated. She paused to break down her quincy weapon, then slipped it back beneath her captain's haori. Her eyes remained closed, but Hitsugaya knew better than to attack her because she could react faster when she wasn't looking at him. "If I run away from everything, then why did I come here? If I'm hiding my power, then why am I fighting you? And if I sheathed my sword in the middle of battle, wouldn't I have a damn good reason for it?" Haru lifted her sword with her right hand and pressed her left against the top of its hilt. "Without my even realizing it, you forced me to draw it out. You're the first person who has ever distracted me enough to do this, and I respect you for it, but I…" She felt her reiatsu stir within her, and her fingers twitched. "I cannot lose!"

"Then prove it!" He drove the sword forward, but Haru retreated one step and evaded. The fire in her eyes was undeniable. Even if it hadn't been his objective from the beginning, it would be satisfying to freeze them. "Ryuusenka!" The force of the blow caused a wave of snow to obscure everything for a moment. When it cleared, Hitsugaya saw that he had caught his opponent, that she was encased in ice, but that she had wrapped herself into a ball and tucked her arms under her knees. Using her reiatsu and the reishi in the air, she had secured a small pocket of air that not only surrounded her body but also her sword. Haru uncurled, then opened her eyes, peering at Hitsugaya through her jewel-like prison with an unsettling look.

"Can you hear me, Toushiro-san?" From the look on his face, he could. "You're not the only one who can reverse circumstances." Her poised hand slowly walked through the air. "Since you refuse to believe my words, then I will tell you again, and you had better listen this time. Otherwise, my pride will burn the flesh from your bones." Suddenly, she drew her hand back in a perfect arc, and the ribbons tied to the end of her zanpakutoh started weaving around each other. "Bankai." She said the word with belief and conviction. Hitsugaya's ears perceived her tone, and a strained gasp escaped his lungs as the ice around her shattered in an enormous discharge of reiatsu that definitely wouldn't go unnoticed. For a moment, he wondered how much time they had before they were interrupted, but he couldn't think long. Through the snow and dust, he could see a shadow, no doubt Haru, who was now holding a most peculiar weapon. She pointed it at him, and with one fluctuation, the cloud condensed into small shards of snow that drifted lazily through the air and finally descended. Haru turned the weapon and rested it on her shoulder, dispelling a chain of syllables on the air that must have been its name. "Tenraihoshi Suzaku."

Could that really have been Haru? Her looks were the same, it was true, but that weapon looked nothing like her shikai. It had turned entirely white, except for the ribbon wound around its middle, which was black. Her eyes were the same color, but they had only increased in determination, and a faint silvery gleam of reiatsu raced across their surface. The strange glove-like apparatuses she wore on her arms were still black. The most significant thing, however, was not this sudden change in attire but the cross hanging from her left arm, which jingled ever so lightly when she raised her weapon. What had once been broken seemed to be mended, and the golden square hoop that had at one point been at the top of Suzaku's hilt now hung from her heirloom cross.

Haru disappeared from view for a moment, no doubt propelled by shunpo, and reappeared with a downward swing that Hitsugaya struggled to block, both for its speed and its power. She spun her weapon between her fingers and sliced upward. The displeasure of having that blade cut through his flesh was unbearable. He moved to counter but was blocked by only the slightest adjustment. "Do you understand yet, Toushiro-san?"

"Understand what?"

"That I am a living paradox." She pushed him away and took a moment to regain her footing, and spoke loudly enough for everyone present to hear. "The quincy and the shinigami are, for all intents and purposes, opposites in everything from weaponry to the results of turning that weaponry against hollow. When a shinigami kills a hollow, it is reborn, but when a quincy does so, that soul is destroyed. The quincy, as Soul Society views them, were beings that existed to throw off the balance and were thus viewed as entirely separate since shinigami existed to preserve that balance."

"I don't see how that makes you a paradox."

"Simple enough," Haru stated with a smile and spreading her arms. "I straddle the line separating these two opposites."

"What does that mean, exactly?" Hitsugaya demanded. "Are you a shinigami or aren't you?"

"I suppose that depends on whether or not I beat you, doesn't it?" Haru didn't give him time to act. She flashed into his sight with that unsettlingly dark determination on her face and sliced through the air. Hitsugaya avoided her blade and countered, but she had already adjusted her hold to block his hit. She threw him backwards and changed her hold again, shifting the weapon to her right hand and pulling her left backwards. Whatever she shot at him, he deflected with his zanpakutoh and bolted at her. She shot again, cutting the side of his face with this one. This time, when he swung, Haru moved around it. He tried again and definitely cut something, but she flashed away before he could see what. She flashed into sight, standing calmly and turning to face him. A trickle of blood raced around her left eye, a trail of crimson tears, and dripped off her chin. Her expression hadn't changed in a while. Why did it seem so familiar to him?

That's right… it was the same one she wore that day she fought the espada, the same grim, determined, almost stoic expression that somehow bore a quality of complete disregard for any distinction between normal combat and atrocities. If not for her eyes, which showed that she still knew the difference inside, he would have killed her then and there for being a threat to Soul Society. _So, it's really true... _He watched her as she surveyed him from a safe distance. _She really doesn't know when she does it. It just sort of happens, right in the middle of battle. She was telling the truth about it._

_Are you surprised? _Hyourinmaru asked him. Hitsugaya considered the question, then raised his sword and flexed the wings extending from his back, surveying her own weapon and trying to pinpoint its nature.

"That weapon," he noted, gesturing to it. "It's a bow, isn't it?"

"Correct."

"Yet you can wield it like a sword."

"As I said, a living paradox." Hitsuagya studied her again for a moment, absorbing her answer. Then, they raced towards each other and exchanged a lengthy series of quick blows, broken only by the occasional dodge. _How…_ he kept moving even though every few steps, some blood from her wounded leg would fall into the snow. Since her uniform was white now, he could see the extent of her injuries. She moved without pain or hindrance despite the depth and severity of the wound. _How is it possible? _Hitsugaya's thoughts were interrupted by another blow from Haru. He thought he heard something but shrugged it off as the wind. _How can she just keep moving like she isn't injured at all? I know I cut at least one tendon. Hell, that thing probably went through bone, so how… _

He perceived an opportunity to strike and utilized it. He flung countless pieces of ice at her, but Haru stood her ground and glanced down at her leg. _Damn this leg... it's getting to be a bother._

_Then we shall end it. _

The shinigami smiled and bowed her head in understanding. _Your will is my own, Suzaku. _Haru drew her hand back again, extending her index finger and pointing it directly at her target.

"You can't stop them all with one arrow!"

"This," Haru stated, drawing a circle in the air with her index finger and summoning a silvery disc of light, "is not one arrow." Her reiatsu glimmered for one brief and telling moment as she aimed her pitch black arrow for the center of the mass and breathed a string of words onto the air. Her eyes flashed, then narrowed slightly as her feet parted. "Ni joushou keitai: mugenhi." Every shard of ice was struck by an arrow, leaving none behind. It startled Hitsugaya that she could counter something she had never seen so easily, but then, she was already in motion. She pulled the Seele from her obi and shot it directly towards his feet. As he leapt back, Haru shot into the air and seized her zanpakutoh with both hands. It was obvious to him that she intended to make that the final blow.

"Saishuuteki na keitai: shinseinahi!" The words left her lips as he raised his sword and a cyclone of red flames raced to the ground. He stumbled back and avoided getting trapped by them. Haru stood on the other side, raising her hand to the flat side of her bow and focusing. After releasing her hesitance on the air in a sigh, she opened her eyes again and saw that he hadn't been caught after all, so at least he couldn't freeze the structure as he had last time. She ascertained that the barrier was stable and bowed her head. She knew the undeniable result of what she was about to do as if seeing it through Takumi's eyes. "Suzaku… show me your shadow." The vortex of flames suddenly erupted into a shape like a phoenix and dissipated. By then, Haru had shot another arrow at Hitsugaya's feet. He took one step back, but it wasn't enough. Haru was already there, with a black arrow on her bow and a bitter smile on her face. "Tsuinohi," she murmured softly, turning the arrow away from him and pointing it to the one that was lodged in the ground.

A short whistle cut through the air, followed by an eruption of silvery flames that threw them both backwards. Haru's shoulder slammed against the ground, earning another cry of pain, and she skidded across the slow on her side, not moving but nursing her wound and holding in her tears the best she could. Only after a moment did she perceive that her fingers felt damp, not just with the melting snow but with a viscous, warm fluid. _Blood. _The word registered in her head, and she shut her eyes for a moment, glancing to her palm and opening her mouth to curse but finding that she was entirely unable to speak. From her position, Haru watched the snow and the flames clear. She saw Hitsugaya kneeling, clutching his sword. His breaths were ragged from the intensity of the blow, and there were scorch marks on his haori. His eyes found Haru's, and they regarded each other for a moment before she pushed herself up, wrapping one hand around her zanpakutoh, then giving another wince as her other hand wrapped around her forearm. The sun glinted off of the sweat on her brow, and her eyes, though clear, showed signs of being near the point of releasing tears.

Suddenly, her eyes locked on him, and guilt welled up in him. Her eyes weren't scornful; they were placid and doleful, possessing a brand of sadness all their own. She attempted a smile, but she immediately gave up and bent her head, her lips trembling and tears sliding slowly down her chin. Hitsugaya had seen some troubling things in life, having come from Rukongai, and the sight before him lodged itself in his mind as one of the top three. Her eyes were glazed over with a not so subtle coating of pain, and as they struggled to focus, she drew a sharp breath and clung to her left arm, bending her head as she tried to drive whatever sensation it was out of thought. Unfortunately, it got the better of her even as she resisted it by climbing to her feet and staggering. She gasped for breath even as she stood, raising her weapon with an unsteady hand and locking her determined eyes on him.

_She's really serious about this, _he thought, studying her for a moment before bowing his head. "I concede." Her eyes remained sharp, and she continued holding her sword at the ready. He wondered if it meant that she didn't trust him, or if it meant that she just didn't grasp his words. He couldn't tell whether or not she was still conscious of her actions, and that look in her eyes became more and more convincing that she wasn't.

"What... did you say?" Haru formed the words slowly, deliberately, and Hitsugaya glanced up at her.

"I said I concede."

"Nande?" she demanded, a sliver of fury cutting across the white hot pain in her gaze. "Do you think I'm not strong enough to defend my title? Or is it that you no longer acknowledge me as a viable opponent after having seen my bankai?"

"I never said any of that."

"Then what is it?" Hitsugaya studied her for a moment and shook his head at the irate note in her voice.

"If we go any longer, you'll hurt yourself, and you're no good to anyone like that."

"So you're saying you want to use me? For what? Do you think I'm some weapon at your beck and call? Is that it?"

"Baka," he interrupted. "I said it before and I'll say it again. I want you to help me, Haru. You're the only one that can." Something in her eyes steadied as she recognized it, the thing he had been trying to tell her with his sword. She saw it plainly in his face, heard the pleading note in his voice, and knew at once that he held himself responsible for hurting important people before that day. That must have been it... the source of his hesitation and confusion, and the reason why he often had a sad air hanging about him. She slowly lowered her weapon, and her expression softened into a distraught sort of smile as she pinched the bridge of her nose and wiped her eyes one after the other.

"You're right. Sorry for accusing you of those things. I'm just under a lot of pressure, and taking it out on you isn't going to help. It's not excuse, but... maybe it will explain my actions." As Haru turned to survey Seireitei, she yanked the metal piece from her cross, and her bankai broke down into its unreleased state. She took a few unsteady steps forward, clutching her wounded leg with a hiss, then pausing to contemplate her surroundings. "Strange..."

"What is?"

"An unsanctioned fight between two captains should have attracted some attention." Hitsugaya coughed and turned away. "I figured someone would be here to stop us by now."

"Haru, about… about this fight…" She caught the confessional note in his voice and smiled.

"I see." Haru turned her head skyward. "How utterly troublesome." Of course, she should have expected no less from Hitsugaya, not after putting him off the subject for days, and certainly not after Byakuya had all but warned her. He wouldn't risk an unsanctioned fight with a captain at this juncture, not when he had been given the responsibility of strategizing. He had gone to the only authority that could reign over Byakuya's desire to keep her out of fights like that: the captain commander. Had Takumi known, and who else did? It didn't matter, not now that it was over. She suddenly staggered two steps back and threw her hands skyward with a desperate sort of desire, her face emotionless and her eyes full of that uncanny silver fog. He watched her fingers flex, saw the blood on her hand, noted her gradual lean and the beginning of her descent, but before she could fall, he had appeared beside her, wrapping one arm around her shoulders while taking hers and forcing it around his. Her face was covered in a cold sweat, her eyes now clouded only with pain.

"Steady," he said.

"Toushiro-san, this isn't—"

"To hell it isn't!" he interrupted. Then, he quietly added, "Besides, I'm the one that did it. Let me take some responsibility." There it was again, that sad look in his eyes that said all too plainly that she wasn't the first person he had hurt with his power. "You think you can make it to the fourth division?"

"Yeah," she answered. "I can."

"Then let's go." Haru tried not to let it show in her face that every step was more excruciating than the last. Instead, she tried to endure it with a gaze as calm as stone. They walked away like that, Haru leaning on the shorter captain as little as she could. Behind them, they left a clear blue sky and a battlefield full of scars.

* * *

><p>Haru laid exactly where Unohana had told her to after bandaging her various lacerations, but for some reason, the pain killers didn't put her to sleep, nor did the sedative. It relaxed her, but it didn't make her drowsy. It was strange to think that she had been tired when she had walked away from that field, but for some reason, all that weariness drifted away the minute she laid down. She passed her time staring at the ceiling and wondering how long it would take Byakuya to show up, because he inevitably would. After some time, she decided it was pointless to take bets with Suzaku and let her mind wander from subject to subject. <em>How... <em>She shut her eyes and let her memories consume her. _How did I even make it out of Hueco Mundo? I may have been whole-hearted about it, but is that the way I really am? I mean, it is now, but was it always? _Suzaku stirred in her but said nothing. _When it comes down to things, how dark does my blood really run? _She shut her eyes and remembered her inner world with a slow sigh. _It's so different now than it was... I'm sure it's for the better, but part of me still wonders... _

_Wonders?_

_What... am I? _The question hadn't plagued her for a long time. _Isn't it about time I found out?_

_What use would that knowledge be? _Suzaku answered. _Haru-sama is Haru-sama. It won't change the path you've chosen. It won't make things any easier. It won't make you any more or less of a shinigami, or a quincy for that matter._

Haru considered the answer, and still, she wished.

Suddenly, there were a thousand voices in her head, all saying the same two words, words that she couldn't understand because the voices seemed to be reverberating off of each other.

Her eyes slid towards the door as it opened, but the figure in it stopped dead when he saw that hazy look in her eyes. He cleared his throat and said, "You, uh... can't sleep either?"

"Unfortunately not." Haru's voice answered him, so he gathered his courage and seated himself at the edge of her bed, staring critically at the floorboards. Haru examined the back of his head for a moment and looked at the ceiling again.

"That look in your eyes just now..."

"Yes?"

"You seemed miles away from feeling anything at all."

"I heard a strange voice in my head." It must have been the sedatives. She wouldn't have given him a clear answer otherwise. "Or more like a thousand voices. They kept saying the same two words over and over."

"What was it saying?"

"They weren't saying them in complete conjunction with one another, so I couldn't understand." Haru sighed again and stared blankly at the ceiling. "You don't think I'm crazy for hearing them, do you?"

"As long as they stay in your head, I wouldn't worry about it too much." She nodded slowly and flexed her fingers. "How's your leg?"

"Still sore," she answered with a weak smile.

"What about your arm?"

"Hmm?"

"It was bleeding earlier." Haru stared at him for a moment, then turned her eyes back to the ceiling. "I didn't cut it, though."

"It's fine."

"Demo..."

"I said it's fine," she repeated firmly. He looked started at her sudden evasiveness. Perhaps she had intentionally given him a straight answer earlier. "It was nothing you did, so don't worry about it." They let the silence hang between them for a moment. "Toushiro-san."

"Hmm?"

"I picked up on something while we were fighting, but I'm not sure if you meant me to. Forgive me for asking this, but... who exactly did you hurt with that power of yours?" A vivid image of an old woman shivering under a blanket surfaced in his mind, and a guilt crept across his eyes. "If you don't want to tell me—"

"It was... my grandmother." She sat up and peered at Hitsugaya, who was still looking at the floorboards. "She wasn't really my grandma. She just sort of took me in, you know? She looked after me when no one else would. My eyes didn't scare her. My hair didn't, either. When everyone else ran away from me, she made sure I ate enough to stay alive." He stopped abruptly. "My reiatsu was seeping out without me knowing it in my sleep. Matsumoto found us like that one night, so I did the only thing I could to protect her: I left to become a shinigami. I figured it was a better way to repay her than smothering her with that power." Haru wasn't quite sure what to say in response. After all, he had practically spilled his soul just then, and to what did she owe such a show of openness? Nothing at all but a question. She wasn't sure whether or not it was a demonstration of trust, but it did seem that way. After a moment, she shifted to fold her legs under her, tucking the white yukata beneath them and letting her eyes sink shut. "Did you remember that poem you mentioned earlier?"

"It was Frost."

"Frost?"

"Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice…" Haru murmured the lines with her eyes shut and her face a picture of thought. "I wonder which Aizen's will end in?"

"Why do you say that?"

"Because if you got the chance, you would kill him."

"So would you."

"A valid point." His jaded eyes fixed on hers for a moment, but the soft thought flowing through them prevented him from making any further comments. "I could do it."

"Nani?"

"With ignis solus, I could do it." Her eyes grew hard and her hand absently wandered to her arm. "But there are things I have to give up to get there... that I'm not really willing to let go of yet."

"Haru, what are you talking about?"

"I'm saying I set it in motion knowing full well that by the end of things, I might not know how to feel."

"Are you out of your mind?" he demanded, leaping up and whirling to face her. There was something of an outrage in his eyes, one that made her smile because she knew he was worrying about her only as a friend would. "Cut it out. You're better off without that power."

"Without it, I'm incomplete." Her fingers flexed as an ebb of pain worked through her arm. "If I don't pursue it with every fiber of my being, I'll be limited forever. I'd hate myself for stopping short, for not being able to put forth my full effort in the war..."

"It could rip your soul apart!"

"And it could save us all!" she countered in an equally loud voice. Hitsugaya cast her a dubious look. "You almost killed your grandmother with your zanpakutoh without even knowing it. For me, it was different. I almost killed myself. Too much power in such a small body... you know how it is. In exchange for a vow that I would never use another sword, Suzaku burned a limiter into my flesh so I would survive. Now, she's recently told me that there is a way to use it all and maintain my physical well-being, and I have to get there. I have to. Otherwise, what good will I be at the end of things?"

"You'll be even less good if you're emotionally dead! Do you just want to be a sword when that day comes?"

"I just want to be able to do something!" Her eyes blazed, and she lowered her head. "I want to show that son of a bitch... that I was more than worth the trouble of killing." Her hands clutched the covers and her shoulders trembled. "If I can do that before I die, then maybe my life will have meant something."

"Hasn't it meant something already? Haru, you're a captain and a damn good one. You're quick to catch on, and the fifth division members all say you're excellent at listening. It's your heart that matters even more than your sword, so if you know what's good for you—"

"I'm well aware of what I'm risking!" He opened his mouth to say something else, but he couldn't because those burning eyes suddenly fixed themselves on his and melted every ounce of reason he had. "I know. I knew that going into things, and still, I reached for it... because that power is my inheritance, and when I touched it, I felt closer to all the things Aizen has taken away from me." She paused and lowered her voice as she bowed her head. "What else can I do, Toushiro?" He still didn't answer. He tried to think about it, but before he could, she interrupted him in that same gentle voice. "You can't understand why I'm doing this."

"Nande?"

"Because you're a shinigami." He arched a brow. "I've got a quincy's pride even if I call myself a shinigami. In the end, I hold that above everything else."

"So?"

"So I have no choice but to keep chasing it." Hitsugaya looked at her again. Even though she was on her knees and in pain, she still had that determined quality to her eyes. "I'll help you as long as I can. I don't know how or when I'll have an interval of time worked out, but..."

"Haru." She paused and examined him, watching as he struggled with a question. "How..." He paused, then swallowed. "How much... are you limited?" A trace of fear appeared in her eyes, and they immediately scuttled away. "What are you afraid of? Your own power?"

"I'm afraid of what I can do with it." Haru tried to swallow, but her mouth was dry. "And I don't think you realize the extent of it."

"Oh?"

"In under ten minutes, I killed about two-hundred hollow."

"So?"

"I killed the quinta and octava within minutes of one another."

"It took you a while to corner them."

"I killed them at fifty percent."

"Fifty percent isn't... wait—what?" The silence that surfaced between them felt unbelievably uncomfortable. Fortunately, it wasn't left to hang for long. The door slid open a second time, and Haru glanced at its occupant.

"There is no way in hell you're done with paperwork, and if you say you are, I'll crack your damn skull open."

"It is a pleasure to see you, too," Byakuya retorted. "I'm happy to see you're well enough to threaten me. That must mean Unohana-taichou is letting you out tonight."

"She reluctantly agreed to it... not that I'll be able to fight you. Toushiro-san really did a number on me."

"Oh?" he inquired.

"Don't give him a hard time. Besides, I did provoke him quite a bit, and I was the one that messed up." Byakuya paused and studied them for a moment.

"Am I interrupting?"

"Kuchiki-taichou," Hitsugaya said in a seething voice. "How long have you known that Haru was limiting her power?"

"Since just before she left for Hueco Mundo."

"Did she tell you the amount?"

"Of course."

"And you failed to mention it?"

"It was not my information to give." He threw Haru a determined look. "Can you walk?"

"Nani?"

"It was a simple question, Haru-kun. Can you walk?"

"I can manage well enough." He considered it for a moment, then turned away.

"Meet me downstairs when you are finished. Hitsugaya-taichou..." Byakuya cast a look over his shoulder. "By the looks of things, you have already thoroughly interrogated her. Do not detain her much longer." Without another word, he slid the door shut.

"My apologies if Byakuya-sama is a bit out of sorts," Haru murmured. "I probably worried him again."

"Haru." The sound of her name was sharp. "You told him everything about your power, and you never even mentioned it to me?"

"Well, I am marrying him," she answered, folding her hands and nodding slowly. "I just figured he had a right to know what he was getting himself into."

"He knew? He knew all this time?"

"He also knew about my bankai."

"And ignis solus?"

"I've been putting that off for a bit, but he probably already suspects." Hitsugaya sighed and collapsed on the edge of her bed, holding a bandaged hand to his head and hanging it.

"I just don't get you at all."

"It's hard to explain," she sighed, leaning back and staring at the ceiling. "I wasn't planning on leaving so quickly, but if I keep him waiting, he'll probably make me regret it later." Her eyes sank shut. "Suddenly, I don't feel much like moving." Hitsugaya watched a wave of lethargy creep over her. "Giving you information is utterly exhausting. It involves too much fighting, and the subtext is unbearably convoluted. I suppose you'll be wanting to see my limiter next?" She posed the question and gave a bemused laugh that she paired with a questioning look, but he didn't seem interested. She shut her eyes again and heard a set of steps pacing slowly across the floorboards. "I'll get you a time frame, Toushiro-san," she said as he crossed the threshold, "no matter what I have to do." He realized as he slid the door shut that that was what bothered him most, the way she took things so seriously... too seriously.

"Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice..." He murmured the words to himself as he paced down the hallway to his own room, pushed the door open, and threw himself on the bed only to find himself lost in some strange line of thought. His jade eyes filled with confidence, and he gave a smirk to the ceiling. "Your choice, Aizen," he said to the inanimate surface above his head. "Which will it be?"

* * *

><p>They paced alongside the shadows that accompanied them at a pace to accommodate Haru's injury. Every now and then, she paused to catch her bearings and then continued forward with an obstinate look etched into her face. But Byakuya could already read it, that look beneath her mask of determination. When she stumbled suddenly, he caught her in his arms and pulled her close for a moment, giving her face one glance before sliding one hand beneath her knees and lifting her up. "Nani? Byakuya-sama, put me down! Oi!" She struggled even as she said the words, but the sudden pressure on her arm numbed her to the point of sinking complacently into his arms. Byakuya paused and glanced to his hand.<p>

"You're bleeding." She threw her furious look elsewhere. "You did not mention that Hitsugaya-taichou wounded your arm."

"He didn't."

"Then..." He let the silence linger between them for a moment, hoping it would sufficiently express his expectations, but Haru refused to fulfill his desires and instead folded her arms.

"Just walk," she said, "or I'll try kicking you again."

"So demanding..." He walked forward with her suspended between his arms, her expression growing more bitter with every step. She tried clinging to it, but in the end, it escaped, and she wound up pressing her head against his shoulder. "That is one thing I like about you, Haru-kun. You are always honest about what you want." She gave him a weary look. "You overdid it."

"Sumimasen."

"Although I appreciate your apology, I was not seeking one." Haru's eyes rose to his for a moment, then darted away. "What is it? Something you want to tell me?"

"Nothing." Byakuya managed to open the door without jarring Haru too much and stepped over his own threshold, setting her down gingerly before turning to shut the door.

"Haru-kun, you are being evasive. In your condition, it is not wise to provoke me."

"I said it was nothing." She lowered herself to a sitting position and stripped her feet of her sandals, then hastily rose and whirled away only to be caught again by an insistent hand. She didn't struggle, not even as it closed around her wrist and quivered slightly, almost as if it felt what Byakuya could not yet perceive. She bit back a wince of pain as he jerked her backwards and brought her back flush against his chest, but she couldn't swallow the slight whimper that let itself out at the contact. "Bya... Byakuya-sama, let me go."

"Iie."

"Let me go," she repeated, this time more desperately, but he moved in a way that made her press her hand against her mouth to make sure she didn't emit any unintentional sounds. When she was sure she had command over her words again, her hand dropped slightly, and she shot him a leer. As always, he was an opportunist. She felt a hand under her chin and opened her mouth to object, but he sealed her lips with his and drank every protest before creeping back and peering at her.

"It may not be my business to ask what you are doing to yourself or why it is having a certain effect on your body, but you could at the very least let me dress your wounds."

"I don't want you to see them," she managed, trying once again to pull away.

"Nande?" he asked, lowering his tone and pressing his mouth against her ear. "I have seen practically every other part of you. I don't see why it would matter." She gave him a look like a wounded tiger and set her teeth. Her vision blurred through a haze of tears that she refused to shed. She tried to swallow, but her mouth went completely dry the moment she did, and that was when she knew that, as usual, she would let him have his way.

"No questions." It was a statement, almost an order. Her voice rang with a subtle hint of authority and suggested that if he even dared open his mouth, she would crack his damn skull open. Byakuya acquiesced with a nod and walked her down the hallway, seeing her into his bedroom before disappearing for a span of five minutes. When he returned, Keiji was following him, carrying a roll of bandage, a pair of scissors, and a bowl of warm water. He set them down and bowed wordlessly, taking one glance at Haru before he left. Byakuya could read the tension in her shadow, and as he placed himself beside her, she cast her eyes at some other part of the room, as if she were trying to avoid him entirely. He hesitated, then began with hands that were gentle as a spring wind. He stripped her of one glove and unwound the bloody strips of cloth without complaint. When he had unwound them entirely, he studied her arm for a moment, then set them aside, then cleaned her arm in silence. Haru only flinched the first time it touched her flesh, but otherwise, she made no move. Then, he wound a fresh covering on them and shifted to the next.

To fill the silence and occupy his mind, Byakuya took a few guesses at why she would want to hide them, but the most obvious answer was simply that they were too regular to be made by anything but her zanpakutoh. There were two on the left, but there were nearly three on the right, dark bands that seemed to become more or less opaque as something inside of Haru shifted around. He glanced up to her face, which was still averted, and finished in silence, watching as they disappeared behind the clean gauze. Then, without a word, he rose and took the now red-brown water and Haru's discarded bandages to the door. Keiji, waiting just outside, nodded and received the tray from his master's hands. "If you don't mind me asking, Byakuya-dono, is she... alright?" He said it quietly, worried that the rigid figure kneeling on the floor might overhear. The noble gave him a questioning look. "Well, it's just... the servants are rather fond of her, sir, and I'd like to be able to say something to put them at ease. If... you wouldn't mind telling me..."

"One can only hope," Byakuya murmured, "that if anything were really wrong, she would tell me." Byakuya paused for a moment. "If they do not believe you, then I will tell them myself. The last thing I want is word circulating that my fiancée is on her death bed."

"With all due respect, they wouldn't say that."

"Things tend to grow in stories, especially when a listener is charged with the telling of it." Keiji nodded in acknowledgment. "I will be needing dinner in an hour."

"Hai. I will make arrangements right away." With that, the servant disappeared, and the noble crept back through the doorway and sat behind her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and pulling her back against his chest, but she remained rigid.

"Are you really that angry with me?" She said nothing for a few moments, and Byakuya shifted so he could see her face. His breath caught as he watched the slow and steady stream of tears creeping from them. "Haru-kun, you're crying."

"Am I?" she asked, her voice steady and distant. She raised her hands and dried her face. "I hadn't noticed."

"Haru-kun, I—" He bit off his words and tightened his embrace on her. Slowly, the tension eased out of her.

"Gomen," she said, pinching the bridge of her nose and then setting her hands on his arms. "I wasn't mad... just focusing on something else." Byakuya gave her a scrutinizing look. "Is... something wrong?"

"Betsuni," he breathed in her ear. "I'm just relieved. For a moment, you didn't seem to be... you." Haru rubbed her temples and smiled.

"Who else would I be?" She laughed at him, then looked away again. He could already feel that seriousness creeping over her again.

"So..." Byakuya murmured before she could slip back off to wherever in her mind she had been. "How did your fight with Hitsugaya-taichou go?"

"How do you think? I got stabbed in the leg for my trouble. Then, I practically incinerated him and myself."

"I wish I could have seen it."

"Forget seeing it. You should have _told_ me." She laid a careful emphasis on the word and gave him a half glare. "I think I'm angry at you after all."

"Why?" Haru folded her arms.

"First, you force me into showing you something I don't want to. Then, after you drop hints about Toushiro-san's intentions, you make me forget with that bankai of yours. Then, you skip your paperwork just to come and walk me home." He opened his mouth to object. "Don't tell me you didn't," she interrupted. He closed it with a chuckle.

"I suppose I'll have to make you forgive me, then."

"You've got a lot of work to do, so you'd better get started now. If you're lucky, I'll be thinking about it by next spring."

"That hardly seems fair," he said in a low tone that for whatever reason had the mysterious ability to make her blush. "What I did to your wounds, I did more out of concern than curiosity; you will tell me about them when you are ready. As for telling you directly about Hitsugaya-taichou's intentions, I had strict orders not to. I probably disobeyed them just by dropping hints. And..." His voice trailed off as he tilted his mouth against her ear. "In comparison with paperwork, you are far more interesting." Halfway through her protest, Byakuya snatched a kiss that sharpened the glare in her eyes until he leaned forward and caught them again, moving slowly and methodically before backing away.

"Baka," she spat, pressing a hand over her lips before he tried the same thing again. "I just want you to do your damn work. You never slacked off before I came here." Byakuya let himself be satisfied with what he had gotten and flashed another shadow of a smile and pressing his lips against her brow.

"Shall I apologize with dinner, then? You can tell me more about that wound in your leg if you do."

"I'll tell you far more if we bathe together," she stated, glancing up at him. "Not to tempt you, of course. I just feel like being long in the telling of it."

"Very well," he answered, "but only if you let me wash your back."

"Byakuya-sama..."

"As a gesture of my penitence."

She smiled and gave a slight laugh behind her hand. "Just don't scrub too hard, or I may lose my train of thought." Haru followed him into the dining room and weaved her words with enough craft to keep him spellbound. To his eyes, she knew she seemed normal, but in the back of her mind, there bubbled a continuously murmuring spring of serious thoughts that were too subtle to ignore.

* * *

><p>Three cheers for allusions! Thank you for reading. Before I go, a quick Japanese lesson:<p>

Hai: Yes

Iie: No

Demo: But

Onigiri: Rice ball (I will get to eat lots of these, soon. ^_^)

Nani: What

Kuso: Japanese swear word~

Souka: I see

Urusai: Shut up

Nande: Why

Baka: Fool

Sumimasen: Apology

Gomen: Another apology

Betsuni: Nothing

I'm going to post another chapter very soon. Probably later tonight. I'm a little worked up because I'm leaving in a few days. I extend my gratitude to my readers and such once again! Happy trails until the next chapter!


	13. Chapter 13: Echoes

A/N: Chapter number two of the night! And here, it is very late. I've had these edited for a while now, but I'm afraid a lot of things came up in my life that prevented me from posting them. Fear not; I will finish the story. I've also decided that this third installment will be the last (since it has stretched on for quite a while already). This chapter definitely isn't the end, though. The story will tell me when it's finished. ^_^

I'm surprised I have a review so quickly! Thank you, Juliedoo! And thanks to anyone else who reviews as well. I'm always happy to receive feedback. Without further ado, here is the next chapter!

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 13: Echoes<em>

Byakuya stirred even though every fiber of his being told him it wasn't time to start the routine all over again yet. His slumber had been disrupted by something, a muffled sound, or a sudden movement. Whatever it was, he opened his eyes and, for a few moments, had no thoughts at all. He lay perfectly mindless and stationary, listening to the sound of his own breathing. His first thought was what it could have been that had stirred him. The days had become exhausting between paperwork, his other duties as a captain, and the spars his evening spars with Haru… that thought came to mind, and he sat up bolt upright to avoid being crushed by the weight of realization. "Haru-kun," he murmured, leaning over her.

She must have felt his hair brush against her face. One eye appeared, gleaming despite the darkness in the room. She was wound into a ball facing away from him with her hand clenched tightly around her arm and her lips greedily, desperately drawing breath. His hand pressed against her forehead, then drew away. It was cold and clammy, the remnants of some hidden thing that she kept avoiding when she was with him. He had seen her hold her arm like that before, the night they had fought for their rights, and also, during nearly every spar they had had since then. Of course, he had seen the wounds himself, the bands winding their way around her arms and flickering in an out of existence. "Haru-kun…"

"I'm fine. Go back to sleep." She muttered the words after clenching her eyes shut. For some reason, her avoidance irritated him. Although she protested, he drew her, squirming, into his arms. She had hardly gotten the first syllable of his name out when she winced and fell gasping against his shoulder.

"You are far from fine, Haru-kun," he observed. Haru didn't protest as he shifted his grasp and rested one hand over the one that was wound around her arm. "You keep holding your arm like this," he whispered in her ear.

"You… noticed?"

"It is hard not to notice when you give me a look like that."

"Like what?"

"The frightened one that practically screams for help." Byakuya smoothed the hair from her forehead and pressed his lips briefly against it, then peered down at her again. "You know as well as I do the source of your pain." Something defiant flickered in her gaze, and she looked away. "What are they for, Haru-kun?"

"Nothing important."

"So evasive..." He dried her forehead with a steady hand and cupped her face in his arms. "If they weren't important, you wouldn't endure them."

"I can't tell you what they're for," she answered, remembering only after the last syllable to pull away.

"Nande?"

"Because this is my burden." Byakuya stared into her eyes, trying to read some sign of reason in them, but he saw nothing. With a sigh of defeat, he pulled her face against his shoulder, stroking the back of her head thoughtfully. Underneath that motion, Haru could do nothing but forget about the pain and that absurd dream…

That dream.

"Are you afraid, Haru-kun?"

"N… nani?"

"You flinched just now." She hadn't even realized it until that moment, how vulnerable he made her, and how much she wanted to be made vulnerable. Byakuya felt her shift a little. Her fingers clutched at the back of his yukata, and she buried her head against his shoulder to hide that frigid gleam creeping through her eyes. "If it frightens you that much, you should tell me."

"I don't even understand it myself, so until I do, I…" Haru immediately fell silent and clung tighter to him, searching for a way out, but there was none. In the wake of her fear, a new feeling crept over her, one she could only describe as readiness. Her eyes drifted open, and she released the breath she had been holding.

"It's ignis solus."

"Come again?" Haru managed to pull away and touched her arm in a familiar way. "Oh," he said slowly. He tried to remember which of her forms that was, but the words sounded odd in his mouth, foreign. They weren't Japanese, so it couldn't have been one of her forms.

"Ignis solus," she repeated. "The bond. The three-in-one. The balance. The will. It is all the same."

"What does it do?"

"Amplifies my power and speed enough to make me truly dangerous."

Byakuya nodded, recalling the day she killed the octava and quinta espada barely fifteen minutes apart, and even then, the only thing preventing her from doing so faster was the fact that they had been so far apart. A question seeped through his mind, his lips speaking it before he could stop them. "If it's supposed to be a unity of sorts, then why is it doing this to you?"

"I'm not sure yet." Haru lowered her gazed and clutched her arm. "I've had speculations, but I lack the means to have them explained. I thought it may be my body rejecting the technique, but if that was the case, then Suzaku wouldn't have told me to go on with it." Haru's eyes wandered to her zanpakutoh in the corner. "Perhaps this is the bond."

"I don't understand."

"Because you're groggy."

"I am too impatient to wait until morning for my explanation. If you make me, I will—"

"No need to threaten me. I'm more than happy to oblige." Haru pushed up her sleeve and touched the bandage. After ascertaining her hand wasn't wet, she lowered it and continued. "I once heard Renji mention his tattoos... he said they were something like a link between him and his zanpakutoh, a symbol of their bond. These marks aren't much different... aside from the fact that they are the bond. At least, I think that's it." She gave a sheepish laugh and rubbed the back of her head. "It's kind of hard to explain. I'm only just starting to understand it myself, so..." Her voice trailed off, and her eyes seemed to flicker with their own light.

"Haru-kun."

"I'm not really sure why it hurts this much, though." Her eyes sank shut, and she lowered her head as she clutched her arm. "I mean, sure... it's supposed to hurt, but this technique is my quincy inheritance. My father pursued and gained this power so I could gain it in return. Is it because part of me is resisting, or is it because another part of me is recklessly pressing forward, almost forcing that power into existence? And what will happen when the fourth comes in on each arm? They're supposed to arrive together, but if the pain gets to be like this, then I won't be very useful at all. And even if I can fight through the pain, what about—" Then, realizing she was speaking aloud, she pressed her other hand to the side of her head. "Kuso... I can hardly tell outward from inward anymore... and those voices keep muddling everything up."

"Voices?"

"I've said enough. Let me go back to sleep." She scurried under the blankets, but Byakuya pulled them back enough to catch the violet eye glaring vehemently at him.

"Haru-kun," he said in a low voice.

"Don't use that tone with..." Her words dissolved into a noise that she wished she hadn't made, and all because he had ran two deliberate fingers down her spine. She slammed a hand against her mouth, the other winding around the covers and trembling. "I... don't know."

"Don't know?" He deliberately used the same tone. "What's not to know?"

"I don't understand them, alright? Now cut it out before you drive me crazy!" Haru swatted at the arm administering the touches, but he drew back and caught her wrist, pinning her beneath him and taking a long look at her eyes, which went from outraged to repentant as they picked up the concern in them. A clear apology flashed in them as she removed her gaze from him. "Sorry," she murmured. "But I really don't know what they are or why I'm hearing them. It's not always in a dream, but they're always saying the same thing, all at the same time, but some of them are off, you know? Timing wise, I mean. Maybe they're just echoing inside my head, or wherever they are, and the echo is making it impossible to understand them." She shut her eyes again and glanced up at him. "Byakuya-sama..."

"Hmm?"

"It's a little hard to breathe with you on top of me. You're kind of heavy." He looked down at her for a moment, then leaned forward. "Byakuya-sama, wa... wait a minute." Haru turned away, and his lips pressed against the side of her neck. Her whole body tensed for a moment, then relaxed as he pulled away.

"Look at me, Haru-kun."

"Iie." He gave her a questioning look. "I don't want to tempt you more than I already have." Haru struggled to keep her breathing even and to stay as still as possible.

"Please," he implored. With a sigh of resolution, she turned to him, caught his lips in hers as he lowered them, nearly objected as he pulled away... she bit the inside of her mouth to stop herself. Byakuya's hand, which was midway through caressing the side of her face, paused as he felt her jaw clench. "Tell me why you are doing this to yourself, Haru-kun."

"You wouldn't understand."

"Then make me understand." Haru's eyes wandered up to his, glimmering with something entirely beyond his capabilities to name.

"To protect the world." The hand that had a moment before been sliding along her face stopped. "That's why I started running after ignis solus. It's the same reason I went to hueco mundo in the first place."

"You would go that far to protect the world?"

"I would go that far to protect you." Byakuya studied her for a moment.

"Fool," he murmured. "You have no need to protect me."

"You're blushing." His eyes shot away, and Haru gave a slight laugh. "If you knew what you meant to me like you should, then you wouldn't say such things."

"You were strong enough before."

"Not even close," she answered, smiling in her usual cryptic manner. "Look at me, Byakuya-sama." Slowly, he peeled his eyes from the corner. Slowly, they came to rest on hers. It didn't take him long to see the almost tangible determination in them. "Until I know I can protect everything, then I will not be strong enough." Byakuya's eyes fell away, and he swallowed. She really was a Yamashita through and through. She had the ruthlessness of one, at least… to put her body through something like that and yet calmly justify it with such a lofty claim. "I'll protect it," she murmured. "I'll protect everything, no matter what the cost to myself."

"You speak as if the world is only yours to protect." Haru's mind went blank as the words cut through her thoughts and made her conscious. She remembered their current arrangement and swallowed. "Do not forget that I have precious things in this world that only I can protect, things like my family's pride, and you." His dark eyes moved closer, and Haru's thoughts became muddled until he pressed his head down beside hers, reaching up and stroking her hair while the side of her cheek remained pressed against his. "If you think I will let you kill yourself just so you can protect me—"

"I said the world!"

"Then you are mistaken," he whispered, pulling her even closer if that was possible. "Sukidayo, Yamashita Haru. Suki..." Haru listened to his final syllable drift into silence and reached up, feeling his shoulders through his yukata and sighing.

_Of course, _she thought, throwing him a half glare. _You would fall asleep like this._ After struggling for a moment, she managed to roll him off without waking him, then pushed herself up, smoothing her hair with one hand, then pausing to look at him again. With a gentle hand, she brushed the stray locks out of his face, considering how nice it was to be able to fall back asleep just like that. She would have joined him, but something made her restless, something familiar and foreign at the same time. Understanding crossed her eyes. Then, after retrieving her sword, stood up and paced across the room without a backward glance.

* * *

><p>She struggled her way into her uniform in the dark, slipping her arms into her captain's haori and sliding Suzaku into her proper place. She crept to the garden carrying her sandals, then slipped them on and stood, checking to make sure she had both of her weapons and then casting her eyes to the moon. <em>Whatever happens... <em>Her eyes gleamed as she leapt on top of the banister, then onto the roof. Her hurried steps fell muffled against the snow. _Whatever happens, it won't stop me from protecting you._

Soul Society sped by, still lit by little more than the stars and the graying eastern horizon. As Haru ran, she could only think of one thing. _That dream... _She had been having it more frequently now. In it, she was immersed in an endless white. Disoriented, she usually kept her eyes closed in the dream, but she always knew it was white. Eventually, she would pluck up the courage to open them. That was when she would see it, something drifting around her in that whiteness that would come and go in turns as a cacophony of voices echoed inside the white space. She tried to block them out long enough to see what it was, but she never figured it out before jolting awake.

At first, she hadn't realized the occurrence of that dream and those voices both coincided with the nights she woke up bathed in cold sweat and clutching her arm. Now that she knew, she began thinking about who she could ask. _Takumi probably couldn't explain it without using his eye, and I don't want him looking at something he shouldn't be. Byakuya-sama isn't much help either, and I'm sure sensei would call me crazy if I told him I was hearing voices. _She sighed gently. _Maybe... ojii-sama would know. _

The thought of going to him skewed her balance, and she slipped a little, but she soon regained her footing and her speed. Suddenly, she stopped running, slid across the roof, and stood erect, her feet buried beneath the snow. _Kuso… _she thought, scanning her surroundings. _What exactly am I doing? _After choosing her direction, she disappeared from sight again, shooting upwards before landing in a naked branch. Her flash steps disrupted the snow and scattered it. She stopped after a moment, taking slow breaths and examining at the sky. She extended a hand, and for the first time realized how cold she was. A stray snowflake from higher up in the tree fell against her palm and vanished, obliterated by what heat remained in her body. She smiled bitterly and dropped her hand. _I've finally lost it. _Haru slid out of the tree and landed on her feet, pacing slowly through the unbroken blanket and finally glimpsing, between the rows of trees, the one she had felt, perched in a tree and glaring at the sky… that us, until Haru drew his attention. He examined her face for a moment, then scoffed and folded his arms.

"About damn time, chibi go."

"I told you before," Haru murmured, her voice sounding harsh against the silent snow, "that my name is Haru. Yamashita Haru. Any variant of that will do, but I ask you to address me properly." She let her words hang in the air for a moment, then asked, "Why are you here, anyway, Grimmjow-san?" The espada slid out of the tree and paced toward her.

"Why're you here?"

"I assumed I was the reason you came, so rather than give you an opportunity to cause trouble, I came to you."

"Good choice," he answered, folding his arms and examining her. "What's with that look?" Haru said nothing; she simply let her eyes fall away and glanced at her hands again. "Oi... chibi..."

"Could you not provoke me this morning, Grimmjow-san? I've got a lot on my mind."

"Nani?" he chuckled. "Can't handle being a captain?"

"I can handle that just fine," she answered calmly. "It's everything else that I can't." The memory of that dream slipped into her mind again, and she sighed. She knew in that instant that she could no longer say silent. She tasted the words on her lips as she spoke them. "Grimmjow-san..."

"Hmm?"

She smiled and cast an oddly empty look at him. "Do hollow dream, Grimmjow-san?"

"Wh… what's with that question all of a sudden?"

"Nothing. I was just curious is all." Haru pressed a hand against her head. "Lately, I can't stop myself from dreaming, and the dream is always the same. I'm in an endless expanse of white, sometimes alone, sometimes with some kind of shadow, and there's a voice… a voice calling to me. The voice is always the same, and the words are, too… and the words are frightening words. I never want to remember them, and I never do. For some reason, I always forget the words, even if I remember everything else." Haru glanced at him, and seeing the surprised look on his face, her eyes fell away.

"Chibi," he said in a serious tone. "I don't remember much about my existence before becoming an adjuchas, but I do remember I've always been dreaming. Next time, don't forget the words, even if they're something horrible. It's better to know and recognize them than to continue pretending not to hear them. Besides, it's not like you to hesitate." Haru smiled slightly at his comment, then nodded.

"You're right, but it seems that's all I can do lately."

"Well, you didn't hesitate to come out here."

"Because I assumed it was something important." Haru's voice suddenly took on its old quality of authority. The sun peeked over the horizon, and she whirled to him, arms folded and eyes questioning. "So... I'm going to ask you again. Why are you here, Grimmjow-san?" His eyes grew wider, and he started for a moment.

"No reason." She laughed again.

"Now who's hesitating?"

"It sure as hell ain't me. I'm here, aren't I?"

"Baka neko," Haru retorted, folding her arms and whirling to him. "If you're here just to reassure me, you didn't have to come. I can manage."

"Really, now?"

"Don't sound so doubtful. This isn't any worse for me than Hueco Mundo. It's just a tough spell. It'll pass." Haru's confidence faded for a moment as one thought crossed her mind. _I know that, but there was something certain at the end of Hueco Mundo: I lived, or I died. With this, though, I'm not really sure what will happen. _Unconsciously, she raised her hand and wound it around her arm. _And that... is probably what scares me the most. Still... _Her eyes burned as she stared at Grimmjow. "Still, even if I don't know what will happen at the end of things, I know I'll use this power to protect this world."

"You say it like it's a piece of cake."

"It is," Haru argued, smiling with determination. "The world is important to me, and to everyone I hold dear. I'll protect it with everything I am."

"It's not enough."

"I know," Haru said, causing his eyes to fix themselves on her again. "It doesn't matter what I have to do, or what I have to become. This world, and everything in it… I'll protect it."

"Oi, chibi…"

"I'm serious," she answered firmly. "Without anything to protect, my existence is meaningless. So, you don't need to worry about me not being strong enough, or not having enough resolve. I'll protect it because that's the reason I've chosen for myself." Grimmjow stared at her for a long instant. Her gaze spread over the surrounding snow, which shifted discontentedly when the breeze blew it. Her haori swung in the same manner, licking the cold air that she expelled a breath onto. He could almost read her, that look like she knew what she was afraid of but remained undeterred. She simply stood in the face of her adversary, poised for victory or defeat, with one hand resting on her zanpakutoh and the other folding itself into a fist before relaxing again. "I'm certain you didn't come here to ascertain that, though."

"Oh, I did," he answered. "I wasn't gonna tell you anything unless I heard you say something like you just did."

"Is it Aizen?" She said it with a touch of trepidation in her voice and a world full of fear in her eyes. When he shook his head slowly, Haru sighed with relief.

"But for you, it might be worse."

"Tell me, then."

"Apparently, Aizen's got some kind of grudge against your father, or maybe against you. He wasn't really clear about it. Either way, he's sent a small army to the human world to obliterate your estate, and all the people in it." Haru received the information with a calm face, but something powerful surged through her eyes as the reality of things became clear. Grimmjow read her gaze, saw her fear—and her disdain. Fate seemingly wouldn't let her forget her family ties. She silently admitted that she still loathed her grandfather, that she couldn't forgive him his transgressions, and that the last thing she wanted to do was use one ounce of her power to defend him. There were others, though… it was them that she remembered. The maid that had served the tea, the nameless servants who had witnessed her victory, her cousin Yoshio, and that child that so closely and so eerily resembled herself. The wind brushed against her skin, and she bowed her head slightly. "You surprised?"

"I shouldn't be." Haru said it softly. "This is Aizen we're talking about. But I am surprised. He has thrown me with his shitty timing." Grimmjow noticed something else in her. The thought of Aizen produced quite a different effect in her now than it had before, or perhaps it produced the same effect with a magnitude so powerful that she couldn't hide it.

"What're you gonna do, chibi?" he asked. "You gonna ask for help?"

"Iie," she answered. "It's my family. I should be the one to do it."

"You'll get yourself torn up again, and if you die, then what?"

"Then I'll remember to count it a better fate than the one Aizen had in mind for me." Haru swept past him and paused. No, she couldn't open a senkaimon. If she did, then they would know she had left… not to say they may not notice. Hitsugaya had felt just a trace of her reiatsu the other day. Whatever was hiding it from the shinigami was wearing off. "Grimmjow-san, I hate to ask this of you again, but would you mind opening a garganta?"

"Again?" he demanded.

"Look, I know it's a pain, but if I could open one without asking you, don't you think I would?" Grimmjow scrutinized her for a moment, saw she was serious, and growled contemptuously. "Grimmjow-san."

"In the end, I'm always responsible for it, aren't I?" Haru wasn't sure what he meant, nor was she certain why she had not until that point questioned his motives for coming there and telling her any of that in the first place. Her eyes gleamed with determination and shifted away the moment his moved back towards her.

"You're not responsible for anything. It's my choice to go. If I get hurt, then it's because of something I did or didn't do." She felt a little guilty, especially since she would be disappearing yet again, but she knew she would be coming back this time. If it was nothing but a mass of hollow, she should be able to handle it, even at ten percent. "I'm not sure why you came here to tell me any of this, but you wouldn't have if you didn't think I could stop it."

"Chibi—"

"Open it," she demanded. "And for once in your life, have a little faith in something that isn't tyranny." Haru's eyes mercilessly ran him through, so much so that he couldn't hold back a slight flinch at her glare, or was it the chill in the wind that had made him move? No, it was definitely her eyes. They were colder than the snow, and far more determined. In the end, even if he wasn't inclined to, he had to do as she asked. With a sigh, he watched as he stepped past her, then crept into the darkness behind her and sealed off Soul Society. "Which way?" she inquired.

"I'll show you."

"Nani?" Haru demanded. "I don't need an escort."

"I never said you did," he retorted, pushing past her and expecting her to follow on foot. The soft sound of footfall on nothingness told him that she was doing just that. "I just want to see your determination with my own eyes."

* * *

><p>Takumi arrived at the office five minutes early only to find it was locked. He reached out and touched the door, then tried jimmying it a bit, but it remained unyielding. Having nothing else to occupy his time, he unlocked the office himself and began to consider possibilities as to why Haru had not yet arrived.<p>

The first and foremost simply was that she was finally taking a break, more than likely at Byakuya's insistence. He was aware of that she had been a little less than one-hundred percent healthy since her return to Hueco Mundo due to the extent of her injuries and the fact that she refused to let them heal before throwing herself into another duel.

The second was that she had an impromptu meeting with Hitsugaya that morning. Unlike his captain, Takumi sometimes got dates confused, but when he checked the calendar on her desk, the date wasn't circled. If it had come up last night, then of course, it wouldn't have been, but she would have at least sent a hell butterfly along with a message if that had the case.

Come to think of it, that was also true of is first thought, so he mentally eliminated it.

He lowered himself into her chair for a moment. It wasn't that he wanted the power. It just helped him figure her out a little more, sitting where she sat and seeing things as she saw them. He folded his hands and peered over them for a moment, then lowered his head as more possibilities crossed his mind.

She was lost and would be late. She had a terrible sense of direction, no matter what she said, but that wouldn't account for things. She always left with enough time to arrive punctually.

She had been deterred on her way by a shinigami, or worse still, a hollow. The trouble was, he would have seen the hollow if she had stopped to fight one, but he saw nothing of the sort, no more than he saw her.

In fact, he couldn't see her anywhere in Soul Society.

A cold wave of worry slammed against him and nearly crushed the breath out of his lungs. She hadn't left again, had she? Wouldn't she have at least told him or Hinamori? Wouldn't Byakuya have been acting a little less than normal if he suspected anything? And what about Hitsugaya? They had become pretty fast friends despite their duel the day before.

He folded his hands and forced his worry aside. He didn't have any real use for it at the moment.

"Takumi!"

The sound of his name didn't draw him from his thoughts. He rifled through countless possibilities in the half a moment before the intruder entered, but he came upon nothing plausible, or at least nothing that seemed plausible.

"Takumi..." At the feeling of a hand on his shoulder, he jolted slightly and whirled to Hinamori, who smiled. "Good morning to you, too. What's the matter? Were you up late talking to your sister again last night?"

"Iie. I had strange dreams all night and couldn't sleep. That aside..." Hinamori gave him a questioning look. "Did you hear anything from taichou this morning?"

"Nothing. Why?"

"She isn't here."

"I'm sure she just got lost again, or maybe she's home with something. I know Kira-kun came down with something after that blizzard, and he still hasn't recovered from it."

"No, I mean..." Takumi folded his hands again and swallowed. "She's not _here_." He laid a more deliberate emphasis on the word that time, and Hinamori gave him a startled look of sudden comprehension. "I'm trying to figure out where she went, but so far, nothing."

"Do you think it was something important?"

"It had to be. Why else would she miss work?" Hinamori thought about it for a moment, then leaned against the corner of the desk.

"Maybe she's really sick." Takumi shook his head.

"Even then, I'd be able to see her reiatsu. Besides, she would have sent word along, or else Kuchiki-taichou would have." He paused and breathed a slow sigh, trying to stay rational, trying not to jump to any wild conclusions. A grain of thought split open in his mind.

"If she left, she would have had to take a senkaimon, right?" Hinamori asked. "Then why don't we contact the twelfth division and see if any have been opened yet." She turned to leave, but Takumi seized her wrist. "Takumi?"

"There is... one other option."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about garganta." Of course... the hollow gate. The fingers on her wrist trembled. "No one but me would know she was gone, at least not for a couple of hours. Byakuya knows better than to bother her here..." _At least he should, _he added silently,_ since I reminded him just recently that she prefers him to work rather than run after her. _"...and no one usually wants to see her before ten."

"But what if someone does?" Hinamori asked. "What if... this time..." They exchanged looks and came to the same conclusion: they couldn't possibly cover for her. "She didn't go back to Hueco Mundo, did she?"

"I don't know. I don't see why she would." _Unless it was to save that hollow. _He pictured the figure in his mind, the one with faintly teal hair and a six etched on his back. _Iie... though I wouldn't doubt he had something to do with it, she wouldn't have gone to Hueco Mundo for him. _

"Takumi, we can't possibly make excuses for her."

"I don't plan to." Takumi sighed heavily and rose to his feet. "You tell anyone who walks through those doors that she's out on a mission with me, then tell them you'll do what you can for them, alright?"

"What? Takumi, where are you—" He touched the door frame and turned with a grin.

"Sorry, but this time, I can't just sit by and leave the matter alone. Otherwise, she may wind up hurting herself." Takumi breathed a sigh. "I suppose I'll have to chance it and meddle."

"Matte, Takumi!" He paused and glanced back at her. "Let me go instead."

"Momo-san..."

"I'm strong enough to do it!" A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, and he paced back, pressing his hands against her downcast face and pressing his lips briefly against hers.

"Truth be told, I hate to leave you here, but I have to." He pressed his lips against her forehead. "It's not that I don't think you're strong enough. I'd just rather do this myself. It's dangerous. I'd never forgive you if you got hurt because I sent you instead." Calloused hands caressed the side of her face. "Wait for me, Momo-san. I'll be back before the end of the day, and I'll drag taichou back with me kicking and screaming if I have to." Takumi willed himself away from her, turning with a confident stride and sliding the door shut behind him. As she stood in the middle of the office, the truth dawned upon her, one that left her face painted with a bittersweet smile.

Without her realizing it, he had become a vice captain, and as his third chair, she could only occupy his desk and wait for him to return.

* * *

><p>An eerie silence hung in the wake of a red dawn. Haru, standing directly in front of the gate, glanced down at her phone. The time registered some significance in her mind, but for whatever the reason, it seemed significantly less important than what she was doing at the moment: standing and waiting for the inevitable. A slight wind stirred, and she closed a hand around her sword. Her eyes sank shut as she felt the reishi shift. When she opened them again, she knew her wait was over. A sword was pointing directly in her face, but her expression remained inscrutable. "Who are you?" the arrancar demanded. She glanced away for a moment at a tree, then returned her eyes to the hollow that had spoken.<p>

"Go bantai taichou and nineteenth heir to the Yamashita clan, Yamashita Haru."

"You are aware that you are currently between us and our target?" She looked at each of the identical hollow and recalled slaying many just like them on her way out of Hueco Mundo.

"I am."

"You refuse to move aside?"

"I do," she answered curtly. The hollow paused and lowered his sword.

"We have orders to keep you alive." Haru's eyes glimmered and she flashed back a step as his blade shot through the air. She raised a hand to the cut on her face and pressed the back of her black glove against it, her eyes sharpening as the distinct feeling of blood creeping through. "If my sword slips and I happen to hit you, then it would be a shame."

"Leave." Her voice was low, and the air around them suddenly became tense. "If you stay, it will be bad for your health."

"Perhaps you would be interested in negotiating—"

"You think this is a negotiation?" she demanded. Her reiatsu gave a dangerous shift, and the snow around her feet scattered into the air. Haru drew a slow breath and made one deliberate upward cut with her sword, stopping midway through her swing. She knew they had eyes to see what she had just done, the precision she had just executed. On the tip of the blade rested a single snowflake that turned to a wisp of steam when her sword blazed to life. Although flames wrapped around both her hands, they didn't burn her. They simply flickered out once her reiatsu became stable. "You must not value your life very much."

"I exist only to serve Aizen-sama." Haru's face changed at the sound of the name, a faint trace of fury working its way through her mouth. She remained still for a moment, then slowly lowered her sword. After a moment, she disappeared from sight and reappeared with Suzaku poised. After a moment, the hollow gave a death cry, and a stream of blood shot into the blue sky.

"Don't take it personally," she said in a low tone. "I hate my family most days, but I have a reason for existing, too." She threw her eyes at the disintegrating corpse. "To protect."

The smell of blood must have made them ravenous for a taste. She was attacked from all sides, but rather than quailing, her grip redoubled, and she swung. It didn't matter which direction; she always cut something. A leg; an arm; a pair of unfortunate fingers; the side of the neck; a diagonal line from one hip to the opposite shoulder; the enemy's sword, which always cracked under the pressure of her own. Haru sensed the danger of a cero and, without thinking, pulled her Seele free, materializing it.

A cry of pain tore past her lips.

It took her a moment to realize that the pain was as much the sword embedded in her shoulder as it was the bands on her arms burning themselves into being. Six more hollow rushed forward to kill her, but her reiatsu pulsated at the last minute. She made a wild upward cut with her zanpakutoh, turned the cero into liquid flames, and staggered backwards, trying without much success to breathe. Something whispered in her ear, but she shook it off and blocked the blow that would have killed her at the last minute. _You're my power, _she said inwardly, swinging again and managing to kill one of the dozen or so remaining hollow. _Mine. _She jabbed forward with one blade, then pushed it through the flesh and took off the head of another. A few drops of blood blinded her, and she staggered, rubbing them clean and still managing to kill them one by one because of the reishi. _And because of that... _Haru broke the mask of one with her fist, splitting at least one of her knuckles and nearly doubling over as a nauseating pain radiated through her. She managed a breath, then saw that her situation had practically become hopeless. Of the six remaining, three had surrounded her, all with blades poised to run her through.

Her mind froze as those voices started speaking again.

The swords, she saw, moved inward, and it was useless to do anything about it now. Fortunately, she didn't have to. As soon as one's head fell off, she focused on the other two, killing one by slicing upward and knocking the weapon away. The third was too close, but before it could jab her, a hand wrapped around the blade, and she finished the job. Haru killed the remaining three so quickly that they hardly had time to realize that the force interfering was one of their own. Once their bodies disintegrated, Haru turned to her accomplice. "Is your hand alright?" Grimmjow glanced down at it and flexed his fingers.

"Nothing but a nick." Fury swept over his eyes. "Baka chibi! Why the hell'd you stop?"

"What do you mean, stop?"

"I started thinking you had part of your old rhythm back, but you just suddenly stopped! What the hell! You want to die so badly?"

"Please calm yourself, Grimmjow-san," she answered, turning to him with a slight smile. "It was nothing important. I just had my mind on something else." He shouted a string of curses, which Haru punctuated with apologies, but when something disrupted the timing of them, Grimmjow actually took a moment to look at her. She sank to her knees with a hiss, driving her Seele into the ground and clutching her leg with a trembling hand. "Damn... I forgot..." The rest of her words were lost in a whimper. Her shoulders trembled, and she clenched her jaw to prevent herself from emitting any other sign of pain. The espada's shadow blocked the light, and she glanced up at him, her eyes distant in a haze of pain. He noticed a slight trickle of blood running from her mouth and wondered if she perceived it. With a sight gasp, she wrapped a determined yet red hand around her Seele and pushed herself up with a displeased expression. She hadn't slept nearly enough, nor had she eaten. She probably shouldn't have been moving around so much anyway considering the wound in her leg, now reopened, still hadn't healed completely.

And the voices... they were attacking her from every angle now, making her head spin viciously with whatever words they were speaking. She covered her ears and tried to block them out, but they became even more audible because they were inside her head. Her eyes flashed, and she clenched her jaw, trying to block them and the waves of nausea out. Haru gave the hollow a look that cut him to the bone, a helpless and pitiful expression that was already slipping away into oblivion. Grimmjow bolted forward and caught her before she fell face-first into the snow.

"Chibi… oi, chibi!" Haru didn't respond. Instead, she shifted in his arms and wrapped one hand firmly around her right, which seemed to be bleeding. Her face was contorted into agony, so much so that it had paralyzed her ability to do anything more than swallow her pain. "Haru!" He had shouted it before he could call the word back, and one blank silvery eye peered up at him, flickering once before fading into oblivion. He hoped he had imagined that spark of awareness.

"You." The voice came from behind him. He had been so occupied with catching her that he hadn't bothered to ascertain whether or not he was alone before coming out of hiding. He turned to see a severe looking man with a cane, pointing it at him, and leered for an instant. "Bring her in." It was an order, and he was completely stunned.

"N… nani?"

"You may be a hollow, but you've got enough sense not to let a victor fall on her own battlefield. I'm telling you to carry her inside… that is, unless you intend to do something else with her." He waited to fight the distain that normally surfaced with orders. That was how it always happened with Aizen. He waited for another instant.

It never came.

Without delaying any more, he lifted the unconscious Haru off of the ground and silently asked himself just what it was that compelled him to obedience.

* * *

><p>Takumi's pursuits led him just beyond the outskirts of Tokyo. Something about that place left an unpleasant prickle racing along his skin. <em>You sure you want to go forward? <em>Akumashoku asked. He swallowed and gave a nod but said nothing. _Even this land has an effect on you. Understandably so. This is almost the exact same spot where your father stood when he bargained with the Yamashita clan._

_Really?_

_He wouldn't set a foot on their land until certain conditions were met. False promises, I'm sure... _Despite the sudden dryness in his mouth, Takumi managed to swallow and take a step forward. _Feeling bold, are you? Trespassing on Yamashita land..._

_Look, we already ascertained she wasn't in Karakura. Even if she's good at hiding her reiatsu right now, I felt some of it the other day while she was fighting Hitsugaya-taichou. _He continued forward with hesitant strides. _Where else would she go? _Every fiber of his being said it, but he kept moving anyway. He was heading towards something entirely unpleasant. Track after track, he pressed into the snow while his insides resisted and repulsed his conscious decision.

As he ascended at the top of a hill, Takumi came to a dead stop for a full minute. In that minute, image after image flashed through his head. He pressed a hand over his mouth and sagged to his knees, his whole body trembling with the fear of what had gone on there. _Takumi. Takumi! _He heard his name several more times, each utterance more desperate than the last. When he finally managed to stand, he paced forward and tried to calm himself, but he couldn't get those images out of his head.

"Taichou." The word came out of his mouth without him meaning it, hanging in the empty air before dissolving back into silence. He glanced at the front gate for a moment, then slipped inside. After all, he had come that far for her. He wasn't about to turn back at the halfway point.

* * *

><p>The world Haru sank into when she lost consciousness was a dark world disrupted by memories of the past, of squealing tires, of one brief flight in time, of ends and beginnings. What she was confronted by was no white world, no child's voice, no coherent words at all, but a living memory that finally made her realize his bizarre aversion to her name and his insistence in doing whatever he could to ease her existence. That first encounter in Soul Society… he had known then, as he had when he had taken Takumi's eye. In Hueco Mundo, he must have realized that he couldn't hate her anymore for dying like that, nor could he forget his own debts to her. What he had taken and what he gave… they were equal in her eyes, but in his… in his, it would never be enough.<p>

At that moment, crossing the road that would be the juncture between one life and the next, she had indeed heard a voice call her name, a familiar voice forgotten with the years. Her given name… that was all it took to make her turn and look because something in her shifted. She had almost remembered that, yes she really had helped a hollow in the past, a fact buried beneath the maddening tedium of her existence and its sometimes precarious continuation. "Yamashita Haru…" Was it a tone full of gratitude? Of hatred? She would never know. She had failed to remember Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez until coming out of her deep sleep brought back the memories. He had probably never forgotten.

Then, she heard them, those voices echoing restlessly against her unconsciousness.

_Your desire... _The words echoed in the emptiness of her mind. _Tell me your desire... _The rest was hard to catch, but the words repeated, so she caught the remainder of the phrase. _Tell me your desire, for your will is the strongest._

A few things ran through her mind, but the one that had the most meaning at the moment was simple enough. She had finally placed the voice that had caused her death with a face, and now, she wanted more than nothing to convey her understanding and forgiveness.

Haru's eyes flickered open to find a ceiling. She was in a yukata, and her wounds had been bound, or rebound as was the case with her leg and her right arm. She realized she must have bled through the bandages when she used ignis solus, meaning the third band had come in on the right arm. She thought of the three to go. The thought of the final two coming in at once was too unpleasant to imagine.

With a hiss, she moved her head and blinked against the light. She sat up and pressed a hand to her head, reeling slightly and breathing slowly. Her left shoulder throbbed where the blade had pierced her, but she ignored it, instead slowly studying her surroundings and absorbing their details. "Feeling better?" Her eye shot towards the man kneeling to her left, and she would have leered at him had she had the energy, but he offered her a cup of tea, which suddenly seemed more important than demanding how she had gotten there. Haru took one look at it and knew it was laced with pain killers, but she downed half of it in one gulp anyway. She released a breath, then took another drink, this one more deliberate. Then, she lowered her cup, keeping her eyes locked on the light in the liquid. "Strange friends you have."

"What are you talking about?"

"That hollow." Haru choked on the next sip. "Be careful. You'll spill it." Haru threw him an outraged look, then glanced at the cup and continued drinking the fluid it contained. "Would you mind explaining exactly how a bond that odd developed?"

"He saved me," Haru stated.

"Did he, now?"

"Indeed," she answered, finishing her tea. Haru set down her cup, and the obliging old man refilled it. "And then, I saved him."

"And the debt was paid."

"He wouldn't let it stay paid." She drank again, then raised her eyes to her only company. "Because he kept saving me, and I kept saving him. He's too stubborn to let it stay paid, or maybe he just likes causing trouble for me."

"Sounds a lot like someone I know," Masahiro chuckled, causing Haru to glare at him again, but the fury melted away into something more troubled.

"I forgot about it... until recently." She sighed and tipped her cup back again, then lowered it. "Sometimes, I wish it would have stayed forgotten. It's troublesome, being a shinigami captain with a quincy's pride and a debt to a hollow. Still..." She couldn't suppress her smile. "Still, I'm glad I keep it. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have remembered..." Her voice trailed off.

"Remembered?"

"It's really for his ears, ojii-sama."

"Fair enough," he answered. Haru held out her cup, and he poured her another. This time, before drinking, she gave it a long, nostalgic glance.

"He and I are much different than we were when we first met. We've changed a lot. Still, he opens gates for me and lets me use them when I ask, even though he really doesn't want to."

"So?"

"So? It's rather troublesome, having all those debts piling up. He seems to think he owes me for saving him, but he doesn't." Haru downed her second cup of tea and shifted beneath the covers. "It keeps things interesting, as if living with Byakuya-sama and working with Toushiro-san didn't do enough of that. And that's not to mention my vice-captain..."

"You owe him much, Haru-chan," he interrupted. She nodded in agreement. "I've lived a long time, and I tell you I have never seen a hollow stoop so a shinigami wouldn't fall. Good thing he did, too. You've got enough battle wounds as it is. Why must you be so reckless, Haru-chan?"

"Because my coworkers like to trick me into thinking my captainhood is in jeopardy, because Byakuya-sama insists on sparring every night without giving my wounds a second thought, because the voices in my head won't shut up even when I'm in the middle of fighting the hollow who have come to destroy the family I'm not even sure I like, and..." Haru's eyes sharpened. "Because I need a power that will help me protect everything Aizen wants to destroy."

"So, we've come to that, then?" A smile came over his face as he caught a meaning she hadn't wanted him to catch. "I'm surprised you brought it up, though needless to say, I was already aware of it after taking one look at you."

"What are you talking about?" She asked it to throw him off, and the weak attempt left his smile even broader than before.

"The same thing you are," he answered.

"You saw, then?"

"One could not help but see." Masahiro tapped his walking stick against the ground, and she flinched slightly. "When did you plan on telling me you were capable of tapping into that kind of power?"

"I didn't see any reason to mention it," she retorted, taking another drink of her tea.

"It's such a gamble, chasing after it at a time like this—"

"I had no other choice!" This time, Haru couldn't stop herself from leering.

"Considering its potential side effects, you should have left well enough alone." The words stung, and she swallowed, not sure of how to respond. She had gone through so many emotions in the past few minutes as it was that she couldn't stop the tears that dripped from her eyes. She gave no other sign of being bothered, so it took Masahiro a few moments to perceive them, and when he did, his face grew troubled. "Haru-chan—"

"I know that," she said quietly without lifting her eyes. "But if I didn't believe I was doing the right thing, I wouldn't have started this to begin with." She tilted the cup in her hand, saw her face, and hastily wiped her tears away with her sleeve. "Those painkillers you slipped me in the first cup are doing weird things to my head. I'm so tired, I can't even control my expression any more. Jeez... if you want me to take something, just say so." She finished her tea, politely declined a refill, and reclined, still trying to rub the heavy haze of sleep from her eyes. "You know I usually react badly to them."

"That was the point. You need more rest."

"Fine." She shut her eyes and turned away from him to hide the thought crossing her face. At that moment she wanted nothing more than to crack his damn skull open, but incapacitated as she was, and with the added effects of the pain medication, she could only lay there helplessly. "Neh... ojii-sama."

"Hmm?"

"Is he still here?" Masahiro gave her a questioning look. "Grimmjow-san," she clarified when it was clear she wasn't going to get an answer otherwise.

"Iie. I think being here makes him a little uncomfortable."

"Sou… souka," she murmured. "Pity. I was going to tell him that I didn't hold it against him."

"Hold what against him?" But Haru didn't answer. She slipped out of consciousness before she could satisfy his curiosity. Well, no matter. It would still be there when she woke up. Until then, he would let her be. He rose in his chair and crept slowly out of the room, trying not to make any unnecessary noise with his cane and exiting the room silently.

"Masahiro-dono." He was surprised to find one of the maids in the hallway. She bowed as he emerged. "Shall I take the tea now, sir?"

"Let her sleep. You can get it when she leaves."

"Yes, sir," she answered. "By the way, Haru-dono has a visitor."

"Who?"

"I'm not entirely sure. I saw him sneaking around the property and suggested that he come in if he had some business with you."

"And?"

"He said he had no desire to see you, sir. Only the girl." Masahiro considered it for a moment.

"How did he address her?"

"I think as 'taichou,' sir. He was wearing one of those vice-captain badges, and—"

"Send him in."

"Masahiro-dono?"

"Send him in," he repeated, turning his dignified limp towards the library. "And keep him out of my sight." She couldn't question, and she didn't need to ask who the young man was. She simply bowed her head and agreed to see it done, knowing she could do nothing else.

* * *

><p>For once, the voices in her head were silent. They let her sleep undisturbed. In that state of mind, Haru could only remain in her timeless oblivion until her body saw fit to do otherwise, but the time came when the effects of the pain medication wore off, when she awoke to nothing more than a dull ache, when her eyes slid open to find her vice-captain kneeling at her side—<p>

Vice-captain?

She sat up and groaned as her head reeled. He said something, but she didn't quite catch the words. She didn't need to; he had a hand on her shoulders and was pushing her back down. Of course, he had wanted to perform medicinal kidou at some point in his life. "I'm a little out of practice, but if I screw up, it shouldn't hurt any more than your wounds already do." Haru scoffed.

"That's reassuring."

"Well, you must be feeling fine. You're well enough for sarcasm, at least." He administered a faint glow to her shoulder. Already, the pain was seeping out of it.

"You really are good at that sort of thing. Why the hell did you get mixed up with the fifth division?"

"Oh, I don't know. It could have something to do with the fact that my zanpakutoh was made for killing people." She didn't argue with him. After all, that was his choice and his belief, and it was his matter to resolve. She had no place meddling with it. Instead, something else crossed her mind.

"What are you doing here, Takumi?" His visible eye locked on her for a moment. Something troubled darted through his expression, and he heaved a low sigh. "How did you even figure out where I was?"

"I saw it." The light being emitted from his fingers sank into her wound with a touch of ice, but she endured it silently. "I only knew what it was because Akumashoku recognized it. I just sort of found my way. Unlike you, I have a sense of direction." Haru laughed briefly and rolled her eyes. "I wasn't expecting all of that blood in the snow, though. What happened?"

"I fought a bunch of hollow."

"And you won?"

"I had to be carried in." She slung an arm over her eyes and took a short breath. "Hitsugaya and I only fought a few days ago, so my leg still isn't quite right. My reflexes were probably a little slow, but I didn't really notice. At one point, I forgot to notice." One of her eyes appeared, lit with a silvery haze. Takumi watched her thoughts shift without really meaning to.

"Your grandfather couldn't answer the question you have, could he?" She glanced at her vice-captain and slowly shook her head. "Why not ask your sensei, then? Something tells me that he knows more about it than you would think." Takumi drew his hand away and pressed it against his eye. "Not that I'm in any position to tell you anything right now." He glanced to the window and let his eyes sink shut. "There's a hell butterfly on its way here ordering you back to Soul Society. If you want me to, I can stall long enough for you to get your answer."

"Takumi—"

"We have to go now." He offered her a hand up and pulled the window open. "I'll be outside. Just get dressed, and we can go." He jumped out and turned his back, scanning his surroundings for anyone that could have seen them, losing count of how many times his heart was thudding against his ribs. Adrenaline shot through his veins, and he exhaled. He was happy for the blood in his ears; it drowned out the soft sound of his captain moving, and that only would have distracted his eyes. After what seemed like forever, Haru emerged, fully clothed and ready to run. They bolted to the edge of the estate with Takumi giving her instructions. "I can only stall so long, you know. Sooner or later, someone will come along that won't take no for an answer."

"It's fine. I'll be back in less than an hour."

"On that leg of yours, will you be able to?"

"Ojii-sama slipped me some pain killers, so I should be able to manage it."

"Alright." He gave her a long look. "Don't let the truth stand in the way of anything, Yamashita-taichou. Follow the path you've chosen for yourself, and see it through to the end. After all..." Something slight in his tone changed. "You're the only one that can touch that power." Haru began to ask a question, then stopped, knowing that any further delay may throw off her timing entirely. They went their separate ways, but even as she drifted out of sight, Takumi reassured himself with the fact that his captain was strong in ways he hadn't even begun to imagine.

* * *

><p>"Haru-dono," Tessai said as he opened the door. "Why are you here?"<p>

"Close the door," she said, darting in past Tessai and removing her sandals. "I'm afraid I don't have much time. Is sensei busy? I need to speak with him."

"He's in the back working on something. I'm sure he can make time if it's important."

"Arigato," she said, bowing briefly before bolting down the hallway. When she arrived at his door, she tapped on it and heard what sounded like a muffled command to enter. He didn't even turn around when the door opened.

"Tessai-san, will you kindly get me some tea?"

"I would if I were Tessai-san."

"Ah, Haru-sama! To what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?" She knelt before him, but before she could say anything more, she caught sight of the object in his hand and fought of the lurch her insides gave. "Sumimasen. Does the sight of it trouble you?"

"More like the memories attached to it."

"Indeed," he answered. "Normally, I would leave it alone, but it seems to be acting strange lately."

"Strange how?"

"I would expect the hougyoku to remain dormant, but it hasn't." She gave him a hard look. "It seems to be reacting to something, or someone. In fact, I've never seen it as active as it has been." Haru folded her hands and drew a slow breath.

"What is that thing even for?"

"Well, it's supposed to be an object of great power. That's why Aizen sought it out. From what I can tell, it will grant the wish of anyone who has a strong enough will." The faint flicker of suspicion burst into a flame of realization. "I discussed the matter with Yoruichi-san, and she said it may be possible that Aizen is still somehow controlling it in spite of everything. I swear, he will stop at nothing to cause trouble for us all."

"That isn't it." Urahara picked up the low note of seriousness in her tone and glanced to her, but she was hunched over the table with her hands folded and her forehead resting against them. "Get rid of it."

"Come again?"

"Destroy the damn thing, or else let me do it for you."

"Haru-sama, I can't justify destroying it unless you give me reason to—" Her fist crashed against the table, and she gave a half-cry of pain, having forgotten she had already split knuckles on that hand earlier in the day. Her head reeled, and she hunched over, pressing a quivering hand against her mouth and trying to calm her breathing. There were so many thoughts going through her head in that moment that she could barely keep one straight from another. She didn't have to look at him to feel the shock in the air. Once she had collected herself, she sat up, but she kept her eyes averted.

"Aizen isn't the one using the hougyoku." She clenched her fist and shifted a hand over her eyes. "It's me."

"Nani?"

"I touched it. Right before leaving Hueco Mundo." The hand over her eyes trembled. "I wished for a door, and one appeared. I wished to awaken, and I returned to life. I wished for power, and the road to power opened. And every time I shut my eyes to fall asleep, all I here are a thousand voices... demanding to know what my desire is so they can grant it." The breath she drew was sharp, almost like a choked sob. "Nande? Why me? Don't I have enough to think about without having to worry about accidentally wishing for something truly dangerous? That's why I'm telling you to destroy it. At least give me a little piece of mind and the right to stand among my peers without knowing I have an advantage like that..." Haru stopped when a pair of arms encircled her. She hesitated for a moment, then let her hand drop from her eyes and clutch his haori. The slow movement of his hand against the back of her head gradually calmed the maelstrom inside of her.

"It's alright," Urahara said firmly. "You've done nothing wrong."

"Demo..." Urahara shushed her and pushed her away, resting his hands on his shoulders and peering at her from the shadow of his hat.

"Haru-sama." His voice dropped to a low tone, almost too serious for him to take. "You're going to need it on the road you've chosen to take." For a moment, she didn't understand what he meant, and when she realized it, she drew a quick breath. How obvious was it that she was pursuing ignis solus? First her brother, then her grandfather, and now her sensei... it was getting out of hand. "Don't be frustrated. Your father warned me you might try something like this before you were even old enough to walk."

"Souka." Haru smiled and bowed her head. "He knew me well." The grip on her shoulder made her tense, and Urahara gave one of his characteristic smirks.

"Anyway, you shouldn't worry about it too much. Oh, and you probably shouldn't tell anyone. Interesting as it would be to see Soul Society's reaction to this new development, I think it's better to keep things quiet for now. Besides, we wouldn't want Aizen knowing, would we?" Haru nodded in agreement, but her expression still showed a lot of disquiet. "Come on, now. What's the matter? Is work going poorly? You shouldn't skip it just to come here, you know."

"I didn't," she muttered, touching her shoulder again and struggling to her feet. "I should go. It will be troublesome if I delay any longer, though I admittedly lament the brevity of my visit."

"Yes, you are quite the busy one."

"It's just a part of being a captain." Haru strode away, and Urahara followed, at least willing to see her to the door.

"I'm serious. Put at least this matter from your mind. You can't keep going like this, or else you'll wind up breaking down at some point."

"I'm pretty sure I already have." Haru turned back to him with a strange smile. "Don't worry. The only thing I know how to do is move forward. I won't stop until I'm satisfied." They paced the hallway in silence, Haru musing over one matter or another, and Urahara watching her do it and wondering what could turn her face so serious so quickly. She stooped to put on her sandals, and once she was finished, she rose to her feet. "As always, thanks for everything, sensei."

"Think nothing of it." Haru turned back to him once more, giving her another smile.

"I'll be back soon. I want to discuss this further." She examined his face for a moment and gave him another smile, this one more natural. "Sensei, I'll be alright. I may not be the same person as I am now at the end of things, but I'll still be alright." As she turned away and slipped out the door, a hint of a thought crossed his mind, but it disappeared when Ururu called him in to look at something.

* * *

><p>The moment Haru stepped through the senkaimon and back into Soul Society, she already knew she was going to hate what she wound find there. With every step, she tried to collect her patience, but it still wasn't enough for when she got there. She paced in with hurried steps and rounded the corner to find the last captain she wanted to see standing there. "So, there she is."<p>

"Kurotsuchi Mayuri..." His name rolled off of her tongue in a low tone that swiftly killed the ease Takumi and Hinamori had felt upon her arrival. "I ask that in the future, you refrain from badgering my subordinates. They said I was out on business and would be back soon. Instead of tormenting them and threatening to dissect me, you could at the very least finish your paperwork."

"Says the impudent child who sneaks out undetected in the early hours of morning! Just where were you?"

"I have no need to answer that question, not for you, at least." Haru said the words in an even tone and tried not to think of what that man had done to Ishida's grandfather. She flexed her fingers and felt the pain creeping into her shoulder. Apparently, the pain killers were wearing off. "You didn't come here to badger me about my absence. You came here to tell me something important. Say it and go. I have work to do." Even as she spoke, she strode towards her office, then paused at the end of her final sentence to cast him a startlingly fiery glare.

"As if you are worthy enough to give me orders."

"This is my office. Either say what you need to, or send me a hell butterfly after you leave."

"Oh, I just thought you'd be interested in knowing about the blood sample I tested."

"Blood sample?" That's right... Unohana had sent along a sample of her blood to see if he could identify anything out of the ordinary in it, something that might be interfering with their ability to perceive her reiatsu. Although she had been dubious about it to begin with, and although she had at the time suspected he might use it to research other things, she had done her best to forget about it. "What of it?"

"To explain it in terms you would understand..." Haru's eyes sharpened, but she refrained from making any comment. "At some point in Hueco Mundo, you were exposed to an engineered microorganism that contaminated your blood stream. Its shape is a marvel, really... it's so seamlessly created, I almost wish I had more to study..." Haru continued glaring at him, as if she were worried he would pull out a needle and jab it into her arm. "Unfortunately, this parasite has its limitations. It doesn't seem to have any affect other than cloaking your reiatsu, both to other shinigami and to our tools."

"And it was designed to do this."

"Undoubtedly! Only a scientist could come up with something that ingenious!"

"Szayel-san, then..."

"Oh?"

"Yes..." Haru breathed a slow sigh. "I killed him the day I came back. Pity I never got to thank him for the extra cover."

"Damn! How I would have liked to put his brain a jar and study it... why did you go and incinerate him for?"

"Because he insulted my pride," Haru said with a shrug. "Anyway, you seem to have gotten off topic."

"If I'm off topic, it's your fault, you imbecile!" The insult glanced off of Haru's pride. She flexed her fingers again, trying to ignore the pain in her shoulder and the numbness in her fingers. "You should have stayed in Hueco Mundo, or at least left that other scientist in enough of a piece for me to study!"

"If you want to research that parasite more, then go yourself. I had enough of Hueco Mundo while I was there, thanks."

"Idiot! Don't you understand?" He thrust a finger at her, and her eyes glinted again. "The only reason you can feel hollow and we can't is because you've been infected, and now that you've left Hueco Mundo, the parasites still living in you are dying!"

"Good," she answered.

"Good? That's terrible! I've already used all of your blood, and with them dying out, I've got no specimens to develop a countervirus!" Haru's hand flexed, again, and she turned away, pushing her office open and spying the suddenly welcoming stack of paperwork sitting on her desk thinned only a little. She was looking forward to hiding behind it for the rest of her work day. "Come now, you can't just let me dissect you?"

"I have paperwork to do," she said blandly. "Thank you for your elucidating explanation. Now kindly get the hell out of my office."

"What? How dare someone like you ignore me, you ungrateful, worthless little half-breed." Haru's eyes snapped to him, and the reiatsu around her flared up before she could stop it, fluttering around her like silver fog or smoke, lifting the ends of her hair and causing the end of her haori to wave, but the place it was most obvious was in her eyes. The fury in them was practically tangible. Hinamori moved forward to stop her, but Takumi had already latched onto her wrist with enough force to cause her to wince. When she glanced to him, she saw that his gaze had taken on a similar intensity.

"You have exactly fifteen seconds to leave. If I find you anywhere near here again, I don't care how many times it takes or how long I'm locked up. I'll kill you until you stay dead. Then, just to make sure you don't come back, I'll burn your corpse to a crisp and use what reishi are left in target practice." He stared blankly at her for a moment, offended that someone like her would give orders. "Now you only have eight seconds. I pray for your sake that you move fast." The cold edge to her voice and the pale gleam in her eyes, in combination, left Hinamori wishing she could hide. Takumi seemed unfazed, but she felt something odd running through him. He kept his eyes fixed not on his captain, but on Mayuri, who, seeing he wouldn't be getting so much as a drop of her blood to study, turned away.

"This will come back to haunt you," he murmured. "Mark my words."

"Duly marked." Her hand tightened on her sword and she set her weight on her back foot. For a moment, her whole arm shook with the pressure she was putting on it. Then, once he disappeared, she breathed a sigh and relaxed, then gave her palm a distant look that said she wasn't really examining it at all, that instead, her attention was focused on something deep inside of her.

"Takumi," Hinamori said quietly, shaking him. He blinked and pressed a hand over his head so he wouldn't have to look at her. "Taichou..." Hinamori looked at her captain for a moment. "Taichou, you're bleeding!" Takumi snapped out of his thoughts and gave Haru a look. She tried to turn her shoulder and look at it, and spying the shock of red, she gave a half smile.

"Well, so I am," she said nonchalantly. "It'll stop in a bit. Don't worry about it too much. I'll just use my other hand to write."

"Demo!"

"Momo-san," she said gently. "I really need to occupy my mind right now, and paperwork is a viable option that I fear I've neglected. I promise I'll take it easy after I've worked off my frustrations, so please try not to worry too much." She shut the door behind her, and Hinamori folded her hands as she gave it a concerned look.

"It's for the best," Takumi said quietly in her ear, then crept into his own office. He gave a form a disinterested look, then tossed it aside and rested his head on his desk. He couldn't work, not with his mind full of thoughts about what she had done to dye the snow red and scorch the ground beneath it.

* * *

><p>When Haru finally returned to the Kuchiki estate, it was already dark. She staggered through the hallways to the room she had found Byakuya several nights before and pushed the door open to find him engaged in the same task of reading. He continued scanning the page for a moment, then replaced the slip of paper that marked his page and glanced to her. Without saying anything, she paced forward and collapsed against his shoulder, her hands curling around his haori with enough force to tremble. Detecting her need for silence, he slipped one hand behind the back of her head. She sighed against his shoulder and sank down with a slight noise. "I take it your day was as bad as mine, then?"<p>

"You don't know the half of it," she answered, pulling away as she remembered that her shoulder had been bleeding. She touched it and, finding the blood dried, she relaxed and sank against him again.

"What happened to your shoulder?"

"Your typical stab wound, inflicted by an arrancar's sword." Byakuya tensed for a moment. "Not to complain, but it was bad enough having to deal with them first thing in the morning. Then when I got back, I found Kurotsuchi Mayuri in my office. The first thing he does is try to turn me into some test subject. As if that wasn't bad enough, he went and insulted my pride."

"What did he say?"

"He called me an ungrateful, worthless little half-breed." His reiatsu spiked, and he immediately tried to push her away, but she latched her arms around him before he could get far. "Don't worry. I made it clear I wouldn't stand for such things. Then, to keep from making good on my threat to kill him, I threw myself at my paperwork. Now, I'm just hungry and exhausted." She sank into his lap and curled up, pressing a hand to her head. "Sorry for leaving without saying anything this morning. The hollow were attacking my family's estate, so it was my responsibility to get rid of them."

"If you had asked for help—"

"Please don't," Haru sighed. "Who would help protect a quincy family?"

"I was thinking more about you." He said it quietly, and Haru averted her eyes.

"So, what made your day so horrible?"

"Aside from waking up without you, I had a meeting with a few of the other captains this morning that did not go as well as I anticipated. In addition, paperwork was more of a chore than usual because Renji was hung over and therefore was twice as loud as usual. I came home to a letter from my advisors strongly discouraging our current living arrangement."

"What did you do with it?"

"After I discussed their insubordination with them, I used kidou to burn it." Byauya turned his hand over and rubbed his fingertips together. Haru reached up to grab it and turned it so she could gaze at it. She could see a bit of red in them, and there was a blister on the side of his index finger, though she couldn't tell whether it was from kidou or a brush. She gently pulled his hand lower and pressed it against the side of her face, feeling the callous and giving a gentle sigh.

"Why did you do it?"

"Why?" he echoed. The fingers shifted, and she released Byakuya's hand, feeling it sweep the hair away from her face. "Because I want to stay close to you." Haru stirred slightly, then felt the other hand at the side of her face. With her hands on his knees, Byakuya pulled her into a kiss. "I see such a strain in your eyes... I doubt you have told me everything."

"I was told not to say any more."

"Very well. I will not badger you." Byakuya's eyes chipped away at hers for a moment before he pulled her forward again.

"Byakuya-sama, matte," she said, pressing a hand over her mouth. He paused for a moment, studied, her, then pulled her hand away.

"Sorry. I can't."

"But my shoulder..." Whatever further objection she had, he silenced with his lips. At some point, she felt her body tip and spill onto the floor, and before she could move, Byakuya was over her. She turned her head away and felt his lips slide along her neck, sending an odd tremor through her body.

"Why are you turning away, Haru-kun? Is it for propriety's sake, or do you truly wish to continue resisting me?"

"What kind of a question is that?" she demanded from behind her hand, her face beginning to redden. "I'm injured."

"I'll be gentle." Her face turned even redder at his words, causing him to arch a brow. Curious, he leaned in to her ear. "Haru-kun," he murmured, gently sinking his teeth into the edge of her ear. Behind her hands, she managed to suppress the noise she would have made otherwise, but only at the price of turning into a trembling mess. Byakuya easily pried her hand away and administered another kiss, this one deeper, somehow more urgent. "Stop me," he whispered in her ear as he pulled away. Those two words slammed her back into a right state of mind, and she turned towards him to see the trouble in his gaze. "Please." Haru sighed and slung an arm over her eyes.

"That's enough, Byakuya-sama." She said the words, but she couldn't fail to suppress the smile that came over her face. From behind her arm, she could hear him shifting, and when she looked up again, he was in a kneeling position, staring at the wall.

"Why are you smiling?" he asked suddenly. "Aren't you afraid?"

"If it's you, there's no reason to be," Haru answered.

"But I nearly—" He abruptly cut himself off. "Do not let me compromise your honor, Haru-kun."

"Byakuya-sama..." She said his name in a sigh as she sat up. He remained rigid and didn't move, not even when she knelt in front of him and placed her hands on his face. "Look at me." She had him. He glanced up into her calm eyes and felt the same ease overwhelm him. "I've been through a lot of tough things in my life, but loving you has been one of the hardest." His eyes turned sour, and she laughed slightly as his eyes shot away. "Demo..." Haru leaned in and kissed him briefly. "It has also been one of the most rewarding. I've learned a lot from you, and a lot about you, and I want to learn more. I know you like spicy foods and Chinese bellflowers and moonlit walks, but more than that, I know you put on that stoic mask when you want to hide your feelings." Her fingers slid along the sides of his face until her hands fell away. "It's alright," Haru said, causing him to jolt up. "To feel things like that, and to push boundaries a little further than they have been, because it means I get to grow closer to you." She could see in his eyes that he doubted her, but he still let her pull his head against her chest and embrace him. _That's it, _she thought. _The only thing keeping me sane right now... is him. _Something coursed through her mind, one that drew trouble across her eyes, a trouble she was glad he couldn't see. _I never want to lose him, not to war, not to his family, not to anyone else._

"Haru-kun."

"Hmm?"

"Your reiatsu..."

"What of it?" Byakuya wound his arms around her and pushed closer.

"I can feel it again. Every time your heart beats, it gives a strange pulse of its own." He looked up at her. "It has changed." He sighed and sank a little lower. "So different... so like a shinigami's and yet... somehow different at the same time... sort of like summer and winter all at once, like fire wrapped around ice." Haru wrapped her arms around him and held him against her so he couldn't see the way her eyes changed from a vibrant violet to an almost dangerous silver, so he couldn't notice the way her expression turned from contentment to dead seriousness. It wasn't a look of anger but of conflict, of desire.

"I wonder..."

"Hmm?" he inquired suddenly, giving her a glance. He saw the serious line of her mouth and sank back against her, trying to tell her with his silence that it was fine.

"I wonder... just how much longer... I'll have any right to call myself that." Her eyes fluttered to the ceiling, and for a long moment, she simply remained where she was. Byakuya only shifted when he felt something warm strike his face and scatter. He opened his eyes and peered up at her to see that same troubling look of distance had overwhelmed her.

"You're crying, Haru-kun." She touched the side of her face and glanced at the tears on her fingers.

"So I am," she answered with a brief laugh. Haru moved to bow her head and dry her eyes, but Byakuya's fingers sprawled along the side of her face before she could do so.

"Will you let me kiss you, Haru-kun?"

"Why would I object?" she asked.

"Because I nearly got out of hand just now."

"I don't mind it much," she murmured, her eyes sinking shut as his lips connected with hers. _I don't know what I am or what I'm becoming, _she thought, her eyes opening slightly before he moved forward again. _And as long as I have this, I don't think I can bring myself to care._

* * *

><p>Whew! I have earned myself a nice eight-hour power nap! I shall leave you all with a thanks, my well-wishes until my next chapter, and lastly, a Japanese lesson:<p>

Nande: Why

Nani: What

Kuso: Japanese swear word! (I get way too excited about that.)

Iie: No

Sukidayo: An expression of affection, frequently translated to "I like you" or "I love you."

Chibi: Little

Baka neko: Stupid cat

Souka: I see

Arigato: Thank you

Sumimasen: An apology.

Demo: But

Matte: Wait

I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter! Thanks again, and until next time, happy reading!


	14. Chapter 14: Silence

A/N: Holy shiznit! Has it really been that long since I updated? X_X Hontou ni gomenasai! I guess that happens when you're getting used to a new job in a new country with a new language and (holy crap) so much new food! If anyone wants to know about my exploits in Japan, just PM me. I can send you a link to my blog. But be forewarned, I haven't updated much there, either, because last month, I wrote another novel. (Final Fantasy Victory Fanfare).

Having said that much, I reassure everyone once again that I fully intend to finish this story... although anyone keeping up with the Bleach manga will see that it's quite different than the arc I started writing this fanfiction in. If anyone wants to discuss (and by discuss, I mean rant heatedly) about Bleach, you can also shoot me a PM. For now, I'll just say: Tite Kubo, you troller, you...

Special thanks to all my reviewers: NAO-chan33, animelover56348 (times 2, since I uploaded two chapters almost simultaneously last time), and Almathia. Oh, noes... I feel like my fan base is shrinking. I definitely brought it on myself. I haven't updated constantly like I should have. My apologies for the wait, but guess what?

*screen flashes, dims*

A wild chapter appeared!

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 14: Silence<em>

The air in the fifth division office felt unbelievably heavy with thoughts. Although the top three officers in that division said nothing, they each secretly knew that the other had heavy matters on their mind, and none of them dared to ask one another what they were thinking because they were too busy focusing on their own matters.

For Hinamori, it was more concern than anything else. She was worried about her captain, whose tired eyes remained fixed on the paper in her hands, who skipped morning shifts twice a week now to discuss plans with Hitsugaya, and who had grown so weary with her past wounds that she now frequently took to napping on the sofa when things became too hectic. Hinamori more than understood why, but if anyone caught her like that, she knew it would reflect badly on the division's image and on other's thoughts of her. Still, Haru was a light sleeper in that position, and more than once, she had scrambled up to avoid being caught. Worse still was the way Haru was almost constantly rubbing at her arm, sometimes drawing away a clean hand, other times not. Hinamori hadn't said anything to Haru, but she was worried nonetheless, even as her duties took her out of that office and around the division headquarters.

And that was to say nothing of Takumi, who had the night before reached his own limit and had all but passed out after their spar. She had carried him home to his sister, who took care of his minor wounds and promised she would make sure he slept well. They had spoken of various matters, and the conversation had been completely fine until she had leaned across the table and asked, "So, how serious have things gotten between you and my little brother?" The question had left her at a loss for words, and she hadn't been sure of what to say. In retrospect, she could have handled things better, but she couldn't shake the suspicion that Mari, for all her kindness, thought her incompetent and therefore unsuited for her brother.

Takumi found himself fixed on his weariness even as he labored through his forms without a word or any outward signs of boredom. Instead, he seemed so intensely focused that she failed to realize that he was actually looking beyond the letters, focusing on the reason for his lack of sleep, replaying in his head the dream that had come to him the night before of his captain standing with him in the practice field, watching him as he wound about with the wind. There were things in that dream he wished he could forget, like the way the eyes behind the glasses seemed to radiate power, the way she seemed a part of his dream and yet not a part of it, worse still, the way she had at some point turned away with nothing more than a somber smile and a serious farewell that made him run after her. He hadn't reached her in time, though, and she had completely disappeared. When he had looked down at his sword in the dream, he realized it was covered in blood—her blood—and jolted awake. He hadn't slept after that; his eye was too busy watching and rewatching what would happen when the sun started to climb.

Those events promised to change things. He knew what he had to do. He saw it as plain as the kanji on the form. He would set her free of it and settle the pain in his old scars. His eye ached, but it wouldn't stop showing him, no matter how hard he tried to control it, his duty and his bane. His visible eye was sharp with perceptiveness beyond that which he had ever exhibited. He worked through the stacks with ease and tension, his hand moving at times in almost deadly strokes.

The time came when he least expected it, and he nearly dropped his brush when he spotted it. After recovering, he swallowed what remained of his misgivings and entered his captain's office, asking quietly for permission to take his lunch break early since he had neglected to eat breakfast. As she delivered her acquiescence, he didn't neglect to notice Haru's own serious thoughts drifting invisibly through the air. He said nothing of them; he simply turned away and disappeared to confront and conquer his own.

Haru sighed after Takumi left and leaned back, slinging an arm over her eyes and setting her teeth. She raised her hand and stared at it, then drew a sharp breath as her vision blurred and wiped her eyes. It had been happening like that more and more often. Right in the middle of work, or a spar, or dinner, tears would simply fall from her eyes without realizing it. She pressed a hand to her head and lowered it, peering between her fingers with startlingly vivid eyes. At times, she found it so simple to separate herself as she always had, but lately, everything had begun blurring together: those voices in her head, Aizen's callous words after he had killed her mother, the scent of cherry blossoms, the beating of her heart and his, the Seele and the zanpakutoh, the three bands on her left arm, the two—nearly three—on her right, the rain in her soul and the snow on the ground... her vision blurred without a sting, and she wiped her eyes again with a slow breath.

When she opened them again, the edges of things were still a little hazy, especially details on the other side of the room. She could try telling herself it was just stress, and the fact that she hadn't given her wounds time to heal. They didn't feel painful anymore, but she saw other ways they slowed her down, especially when Byakuya shot towards her with his sword drawn, or when she slipped into some sort of trance in the middle of her own sentence, then blinked back awake when Hitsugaya called out to her. The trouble was that Haru could only deceive others; she couldn't deny anything of that sort to herself. Of late, the feelings attached to things would sometimes feel very close, and sometimes, they would drift away altogether. That was why her wounds didn't hurt until she would feel the thrill of Byakuya's blade crashing against hers or when a ripple of sadness coursed across her. It was ignis solus, taking root with such tenacity that she sometimes had to remind herself to control her expression and her words. If the line between the outside and the inside blurred too much... and what did it even mean, anyway?

She let her hand fall as the thought crossed her mind. _Is this what it feels like to break? _Haru's eyes widened and stood up, whirling to the window and pressing her face against the frigid glass, letting her hands slide against it, letting its numbness gnaw at the dull edge of a distant existence. Her breath fell against it and obscured her reflection, but in it, she saw so deeply into herself that she wavered and sank trembling. There was no way those eyes looking back were hers, those cold and distant eyes, oblivious and uncaring, pale and colorless... _How... _she thought as Byakuya's face appeared in her memory, her reflection clear but unreadable in his eyes. _He sees me like this, but how can he still... _She couldn't read her reflection in his eyes because of what they held, that keen desire that he somehow managed to control. _How can he still... feel anything for me?_

Haru tried to conjure up the memory of what she felt for him, that strange swell inside of her, but she summoned nothing more than an echo of affection, followed by a strong wash of fear that she would lose ability to feel that way altogether. Instinctively, she wrapped her hands around her forearms, crossing her arms across her chest, and sank a little lower, shaking like an icicle anticipating spring. _Byakuya-sama... _Her eyes fell shut, and she pressed her head against the wall. _I... apologize. _She remembered his face again, the darkness that played over his features as he leaned down to kiss her. _I'm afraid that... I don't deserve you after all. _

She let it wash over her, that apathetic emptiness, and everything grew so distant that she hardly heard the door open. As soon as it did, she whirled around and held a hand to her racing heart, her eyes wide and startled. "Momo...-san."

"Taichou..." she said quietly. "What... what are you doing?" Haru gave a slight smile and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"I'm sorry. It's gotten really bad lately." She gave a slight laugh. "I won't be able to stop myself from falling apart for much longer." When she looked up, she saw the panic on her sanseki's face and forced herself up, using the wall for leverage. "I can't afford to let myself rest," she murmured, that same helpless smile on her face. "I'm afraid it would be a great inconvenience to those around me."

"You can't keep doing this to yourself, either!" Haru started at the volume of her voice. "Taichou... please... don't break." Hinamori's eyes fell away. "If you do... then what would the division do?" Haru considered the words and turned towards the window. That was the first time she noticed it, that eerie quiet settled in the air.

_The calm before the storm. _Her eyes glinted sharply. _Please... not today._ She had felt it only for an instant, but she still knew who it was. _Grimmjow-san. _He had dared it once. What was to say that he wouldn't dare it again? Now that he had seen her resolve firsthand, was no telling when he would show up. It was no good trying reiatsu again; she had been out of Hueco Mundo for too long, and so, she was beyond feeling it. Instead, she shut her eyes and tried to sense the reishi, but Seireitei had too many movements to pick out just one. Her eye glimmered silver as she raised her gaze to the window, desperately seeking it. _Kuso… not yet… not yet! _Her mind worked itself into a flurry of thoughts that, for a moment, seemed to cave beneath her. A particularly violent pang of pain bit into her right arm and sent her to her knees in an instant. Hinamori bolted forward, but she caught the side of the chair and lowered herself to the floor again, setting her jaw in pain and clutching her arm. She felt a hand on her shoulder for a moment. "Yamashita-taichou, you're not well. I'll... I'll go get help. Just stay there and..."

"Don't." That single word cut through the silence, and Hinamori's eyes widened as she looked from the half-mad smile on her captain's face to the blood seeping through her fingers. "It would do no good. Besides, this is the road I chose. I'll run it to the end, even if it costs me everything." Hinamori could tell that Haru was timing her breathing, trying to keep it as even as she could. "Momo-san, I'm sorry, but could I lean on your shoulder for a moment?"

"What? Oh, of course." Relief washed over her features, and her head found Hinamori's shoulder easily. "Taichou, what are you doing to yourself? I'm worried, and Takumi is, too. We know you'll tell us when you're ready, but... it still hurts to see you this fragile." Haru gave a slight laugh. "I'm serious."

"I know," she answered. "I didn't mean to make light of it. It's just... what I'm doing to myself makes my emotions a bit haywire."

"How do you mean?"

"It's hard to explain," Haru replied. "I suspect it's just because of the exhausting nature of pursuing it." She gave a sigh and sank a little lower. "And that's not even the half of it. Paperwork, strategizing, sparring with Byakuya-sama... not to complain, but you'd think that with all of that, I'd be too busy to protect a hollow. But no. Of course not. When you throw him in the mix, too..." Her voice trailed off as she felt Hinamori grow rigid. "Damn it... I still get inwards and outwards mixed up. I'd planned to tell you soon, but not like that."

"Taichou..." Haru sat up and leaned forward, forcing herself to her feet and walking unsteadily towards the door while clutching her bleeding arm.

"If this changes anything, I don't blame you, Momo-san."

"Iie," she murmured, dropping her eyes. "Takumi has had his suspicions for a while, ever since that business with your cousin."

"I should have known it from the start. I'm glad... he can be open with you." Haru's smile faded, and she touched the sword at her side, then moved forward, her captain's haori licking the air. "Momo-san, I'm afraid... that I have to go and do something you may find deplorable."

"Are you going to kill him?"

"I might crack a skull or two as I see fit, but no... I wouldn't kill either of them." She paced forward again, swaying lightly on her feet.

"Taichou, please... you're in no shape to fight—"

"Who said anything about fighting?" she interrupted.

"Then what are you going to do?" She stared at Hinamori for a moment, then bowed her head and sighed slowly. When she looked up again, her eyes were full of a silver gleam that began pouring from her body like steam.

"I'm going to stop them from killing one another." The reiatsu she felt from her captain, the first she had perceived since Haru's departure, was more than intense; it was downright unreal.

"Why?" Hinamori dared. "Why do you have to stop them?"

"Because..." Haru's voice trailed off, and she cast her eyes to an upper corner of the room. "Because I'm the only one that can, and because I have something I need to say to that hollow." Her eyes turned nostalgic. "I know it's impossible for you to understand. Hell, I just barely grasp it myself. So, if it bothers you, I won't force you to keep following me. You can leave if you want to." Hinamori studied her captain for a moment, studied the pure will that made her shoulders rigid and her eyes burning. "I can't let you stop me."

"I'm not trying to," she answered, approaching her captain and bowing her head. "I'm going with you." Haru whirled around. There was no uncertainty in Hinamori's voice. "I will follow you as far as I can down the road you have chosen, Yamashita-taichou, until I lose confidence that you no longer stand on your own principles." Hinamori smiled, and Haru whirled away, bowing her head.

"Arigato," she murmured softly. "Though I doubt I deserve such devotion, as I know there will come a day I will think nothing of it, know that I'll be grateful for as long as I can, and that, perhaps after losing all my senses, I will be grateful again." After she finished, she paced forward without a single doubt, and Hinamori, secretly yet silently awed by Haru's determination, followed her with almost parallel certainty.

* * *

><p>Takumi hardly remembered to raise a hand in greeting when he heard other members of the fifth division greeting him. Fortunately, at the last minute, he turned with a sheepish smile and bowed his head, making some half-hearted excuse about being hungry and continuing on with his hands behind his head. Once he rounded the corner, his arms dropped, and the seriousness came back into his gaze. He peered at the stairs for a moment. Then, not wanting to put it off any further, he began to climb, keeping one hand on his sword and the other in constant motion. This was it… at the top of the stairs stood his fate, his chance to settle everything. He didn't think about the possible consequences of his climb until he reached the top, until he began picking his way through the naked forest. Yet what did it matter in the end? <em>More than my own existence, <em>he thought, _I despised the army of hollow that made my father snap. He was there… or part of him was. I know it. When I see that espada, I see the menos that fired the cero and pushed otousan so near his death that he forgot even himself._

_The same or not the same... _Akumashoku's voice echoed inside of him. _It doesn't matter. The resemblance renders such things pointless._

_With the way we are now, _Takumi thought, touching the sword at his side and deliberately knocking against a tree branch. _There is no way we can lose. _Takumi glimpsed a figure through the trees and stepped into the full light to find the sexta espada staring into the distance. He took no notice of the shinigami that slipped into sight, at least, not at first. When Grimmjow did finally turn, he found himself staring at one azure eye. Takumi locked his own eye on the espada's, his expression one of determination and loathing. He stopped about twenty paces away, keeping his eye locked on the hollow, never moving it away.

"Che… what're you here for, kid?"

"In the true fashion of my division, I'm here to pay a debt."

"I don't recall ever saving your ass," he growled, turning away again. "Leave unless you want me to finish you off."

"I'm afraid you're the one that will be finished." Grimmjow's face appeared, and his eyebrows arched. An amused grin broke over his face, and he threw back his head with a maniacal laughter that only caused Takumi to grow more serious. "You've done a lot of horrible things in your life. You took my eye. You went after Momo-san. And... you've made taichou suffer, suffer so much that there aren't even words for it." At the last bit, Grimmjow grew surprisingly solemn. The madness drained from his face for a moment, and something like remorse crept into his eyes. As quickly as it had appeared, it was gone again.

"You should've taken the hint the first time," Grimmjow retorted. "I didn't let you go half-blinded so you could come back and kill me." Takumi's hand fell to his sword as he flashed forward. The espada blocked, but the blow was more powerful than he remembered. When he glanced down, he realized the weapon had changed in the interval between Takumi's disappearance and reappearance. It was now a lance, and the shinigami hadn't even called out to it.

"I know what you're thinking. A zanpakutoh isn't supposed to change shape like this unless it's bankai. Now, you're wondering how I'm guessing exactly what you're thinking. Am I wrong, Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez?" Grimmjow flung him backwards with a blow from his own sword and grinned.

"Now you're just begging for a death blow!" He swung down and cut nothing but empty air. Instinct took over, and he raised his sword, blocking the blow that was intended to impale him and shoving Takumi back in a counterattack. He bolted forward and swung again, but Takumi retreated, carefully regaining his footing and adjusting his hold as the danger of the fight pulsed through him, making blood pound in his ears. He tasted the possibility of death in the back of his throat, and it drew a demonic smile to his face. "That's more like it!" Takumi took three steps back and twirled his lance, meeting Grimmjow's blow with the metal handle and sliding until it rested against the hilt of the espada's sword. Then, before Grimmjow could react, he felt pain spread across his head and staggered backwards. Once his vision came back, he looked up to see blood trickling from the spot where Takumi's head had crashed against his. He staggered and bolted forward, but Takumi was already prepared to block. He swung and spun about, moving like a wind that refused to be caught. He felt the sword cut his shoulder, but he delivered a cut under the espada's eye. When the sword cut the back of his hand, he cut the side of Grimmjow's leg. For every wound he took, he delivered one. The world was a whir, and he was its center.

Takumi staggered when his foot slipped in the snow, and when he regained his footing, he found Grimmjow pointing a cero at him. The espada fired, and Takumi vanished from sight, reappearing with his lance at his side and an outstretched arm. "Hadou no sanjyuusan: soukatsui!" Grimmjow crushed the kidou with just a fluctuation of his reiatsu and rammed his fist into Takumi's stomach. The force threw him to the ground, but he used the momentum to get back to his feet and strike Grimmjow's blade before he could even begin lowering it.

Takumi's eye remained locked on the espada's as he spit a mouthful of blood. Then, suddenly, his eyes disappeared. _Come on… _he thought, shutting his eye and glancing inward. _Find the way and forge it. _Takumi felt Grimmjow's blade shift as it left his, but he stopped his opponent's weapon with one flawless movement. He felt himself throw in the direction of the shinigami's swing. Takumi looked at him for an instant with one cold electric blue glance before twirling his weapon and redirecting its point towards Grimmjow's leg. Frame by frame, the metallic protrusion moved forward, but at the last minute he rammed his sword against Takumi's weapon, throwing it off course and directing another counterattack. _It will be close combat from now until the end._

_I know, _Akumashoku murmured. _But I'm with you, Takumi-sama. _He threw his weight into the next blow and jabbed again, but Grimmjow caught the handle of his weapon and jerked it forward. Takumi shifted his head to one side as the fist went past his face. He felt the faint laceration that the hollow's claws left, felt the blood rush to the surface of the wound and run down his chin, but more vividly than that, he recalled the advice he had once been given.

"Takumi, if you're ever in a fight with an espada again, you had better not let go of your sword because you're afraid of getting cut. Once you let go of your zanpakutoh, the fight is as good as over." He breathed a sigh as the words beat against the inside of his skull. He hadn't forgotten them. He had carried them with him ever since that day, and now…

Takumi thrust a foot against the espada's stomach to throw his balance, then used his other to throw himself into the air. He grasped his weapon with both hands, and when he was sure his feet were pointing towards heaven, he twisted his entire body and threw one foot downward with every ounce of strength he had. It struck something hard enough to make the espada let go, but he hadn't withdrawn. Takumi blocked the sword, then dodged the cero despite the close range, and disengaged before bolting forward. Grimmjow blocked the swing that came from the side and was startled to see that the shinigami had not used the pointed end of his weapon. He twirled it around and gave an upward cut that lacerated his shoulder and through which trailed a golden light that skewed his senses and made his body feel like it was being ripped apart.

"Taiyoushibou," he heard the shinigami murmur. Before the next strike could cut him, he drove his own sword into his leg to distract him from the pain in his shoulder, then yanked his sword free and threw his weight against Takumi's weapon. _I'm in control of this fight, _he thought, pushing the sword away with the handle of his lance and turning it again. _The outcome is purely mine to decide, and I won't… _He felt himself thrown backwards again. _I won't let it end the way it did last time. _

Takumi thrust his weapon into the frozen soil and vaulted forward, turning it as he went to block Grimmjow's every blow. _I have to take the offensive. _Another cero whizzed by his head. _If I don't, then this is certain to end badly. _The hollow was grinning wildly. He was obviously enjoying himself. The madness was nearly contagious. Takumi's reiatsu wavered, then grew resolute.

"Die!" Grimmjow fired another cero. The very edge of it seared his face and cut the thread holding the eye patch in place. Instinctively, he covered his face, listening to the wind as it carried his protective wear to the ground, listened as it struck the snow with almost deafening silence. As it drifted to the ground, Takumi's expression grew somber. "Heh... not even man enough to show your scars on the battlefield." Takumi's hand slipped away, revealing the two thin cuts that stretched across his face. "What's wrong? You suddenly get cold feet?" Takumi's eye fell shut, and he breathed a slow sigh. "You going to stand there all day? Friggin' die, then!" As he drew his elbow back to fire another cero, the vibrant blue of Takumi's right eye began appearing. Then, the scar on the left side of his face split to reveal an eye that was entirely intact. Instead of the vibrant blue color that Grimmjow was accustomed to, this eye was crimson, and the ebony pupil seemed to be a cat-like slit. As Takumi opened it entirely, it gleamed with an uncanny light, and the reiatsu racing through him increased suddenly, causing Grimmjow to slow to a stop.

It jarred something loose, a long-buried memory of a man who looked a lot like Takumi, which was washed away by the even more pressing memory of a rainy day not more than nine months ago. "Yamashita Haru..." He had said it without meaning to as the girl crossed the road. As soon as her eyes rose to his, he knew it was her. Then, she was dead on the pavement an instant later. Somehow, his mind raced back to the memory of that man who he had, at the time, towered over with a size he had given up when he had become an adjuchas. The memory was muddled, but he could remember the air moving wildly and the way that man's pupils had narrowed to nothing but slits.

It was his fault. He took pleasure in killing, but at killing her, he had felt something empty. He remembered Haru's eyes as she looked up at him from the road. If she knew, what would she think? What would she say?

_How? _he asked himself. _How can she... protect someone like me? _Grimmjow had been so lost in his own thoughts that he perceive Takumi's approach. Up close, that eye was even more discomforting. He didn't even think as his hand shot forward to rip it free again, but Takumi caught the claws hovering inches before his face and looked straight into Grimmjow's eyes.

"What were you going to do? Did you think I would let you steal the seat of my power?" Something deadly flickered across the mismatched eyes, and Takumi's pupil narrowed. "Not a chance in hell." Grimmjow pulled back, keeping his eyes locked on the shinigami, who adjusted his hold on his weapon and pointed it at the espada. "Raise your sword and face me. If you're not fighting back, I won't get any satisfaction out of killing you." Shinigami and hollow recognized it at the same moment. The next charge would decide things. Takumi's eye burned slightly from peering all day, and his hand felt a little numb from where he had fallen earlier. He clenched his weapon to make sure he still had feeling in it and set his weight on his right foot. They raced towards one another with their weapons raised, stopping without restraint. Their weapons crashed together. Grimmjow's sword slid downward, and he moved his hand, then adjusted his hold and twisted. Although he managed to shove Grimmjow back, he lost his footing again and failed to prepare a counterattack, and as the sword climbed and prepared to descend, he watched it with both eyes. _Why? _he thought. _Why can't I see it fall? _It began to. His mind separated the frames one by one as he waited for the blow and desperately attempted to recover, but in that moment, something whizzed by him and knocked the sword off of its course so its edge whizzed right cross Takumi's shoulder.

Was it a trick of the light or his own delusions? No, it was more than both… it was reality, pure and simple but entirely unbelievable. His mind immediately began working again. _For the eye you took from me, for the captain whose existence you have complicated, and for making Momo-san cry… _He thought he heard his name from a distance, but that… now, that must have been a trick, for he had only heard such agony in his dreams. He turned his weapon and swung straight down, leaving another laceration across Grimmjow's arm and withdrawing to a safe distance before stating, "Tsukishibou."

Grimmjow's senses all ran together. Somewhere between his mind and body, the messages his instinct sent were lost. Only one thought managed to make it through, one that worked its way into every fiber of his being. _Die. _Before he knew what he was doing, he had raised his sword. Just as he was about to slide it along his neck, something—or rather someone—stopped him. He struggled against it, but the more he shook his arm, the stronger the hold became. The weight wasn't just that of a mass… it was that of a familiar reiatsu. He still struggled, but he also turned to peer at… whatever it was that had stopped him. He caught his own reflection in Takumi's startled eyes and saw that there really was a mass hanging onto him. He turned to it, a gleaming figure who refused to look at him.

The moment he recognized her, his resolve to die sprang back to life, and he jerked his arm upward. It was fitting that the last thing he would destroy was himself, and in front of the one he had never intended to destroy… but something else interfered. A sharp clang cut through his introspection, and he heard a sword fall softly into the snow a few feet away. Befuddled, he glanced again to the figure and her raised sword. She was completely out of breath, and she swayed as if to fall, taking two steps back and clutching her bleeding arm.

"Yamashita-taichou..."

"Enough," she said, sinking down and hunching over in the snow. "It's enough already!" Though a steady stream of blood seeped through her fingers, her knuckles still turned pale from the pressure she was applying. Takumi moved to help her, but Hinamori restrained him from behind. "Why?" she demanded. "Why is it so hard for you to understand? I said I'd protect everything, didn't I? Why shouldn't that include him?" A sob choked her, and she rose to her knees, continuing in a quieter voice. "I don't give a damn what you think. Tell the world. Who needs it?" She spread her clean hand over her face, wiping it as best she could, but the angry edge in her voice returned with all its volume when she thrust the point of her sword at Grimmjow, accompanied by an unashamed leer. "And you!" He started, both at her tears and at the fire in his eyes. "What the hell makes you think it was your fault? Did Aizen send you to kill me that day, or did you just see me in passing and call out to me for some reason you don't even know yourself? You may be the sexta espada, but you can't control everything! You shouldn't have any regrets about what happened back then. Regrets are for fools who can't find something in the present to be grateful for. If you can't think of something on your own, then you'd better get out of my sight until you do, or I'll crack your damn skull open!" The tears stung her eyes and seeped free, and her voice trembled as she finished. "Even if I had known before now, I wouldn't have blamed you for it."

A stillness fell over the world, and everything seemed to stop. The snow ceased from falling, and the wind died down to nothing more than a gentle breeze. Haru's heart nearly stopped beating in order to match the stillness of the environment. The faint buzz of pain filled her ears as she stared at the shadows and wished with her entire being for something, anything to move. Her vice-captain could lurch forward and kill them both for all she cared. With the condition she was in, she could do little else to defend him. _It hurts, _she thought, fighting the desire to curl up. _It hurts so much... but... _She covered her face as a smile broke over it. _I'm happy... because... it still means I can be part of this world._

When she felt a hand on her head, she looked up to find Grimmjow peering at her. "Damn... you push yourself too hard, chibi." Her surprise faded, and she slid a finger up the bridge of her nose.

"Probably."

"Keep yourself together."

"I'm trying," she retorted, wiping her face furiously. The wind picked up a little bit, and she glanced up at him. "Sorry for being like this. They come and go, really... good feelings and bad, all broken apart by moments of feeling nothing at all. It's... part of that thing I'm chasing after. I'm fine now, though. Just a bit of pain and a bit of blood..." Haru sheathed her sword and picked up some snow to clean her hands. "Look, even if I was really emotional before, I meant what I said. I was waiting for you to come here so I could tell you..." Haru paused and raised her eyes skyward. "Even though I just remembered a couple of months ago, I never blamed you for any of it. And you don't make my existence all that troublesome, at least..." Haru's eyes lowered to Takumi. "Until troublesome vice-captains start catching glimpses of things they shouldn't see."

"Why the hell is it my fault?" Takumi demanded.

"Then which of you drew your sword first, hmm?" Takumi bit his lip and threw his gaze to the ground, glancing up only when Haru gave a slight laugh. "At least you took my advice from last time." He glanced at her. "You held on to your sword. Well done, Takumi." His jaw dropped. "What? You couldn't see that coming? That eye of yours really is temperamental."

"Because I've been watching that damn hollow all morning!" Haru picked up some snow and rubbed her face, then looked up at him and smiled. "Jeez... I didn't know why he was here."

"A valid point." Haru lowered her hands, and her gaze cut to Grimmjow immediately. "Why are you here, Grimmjow-san?" The question startled him, and she tilted her head a bit. "Surely, you didn't come here to fight my vice-captain." Something dark dragged across her eyes. "You know, Hitsugaya-taichou caught on pretty quickly about our connection. He said he wouldn't mention it to anyone, but he did say if he caught you here, he'd kill you."

"As if," Grimmjow retorted. "I'd break him in half."

"Please don't." Haru sighed and pulled herself to her feet, swaying slightly before wrapping a hand around her arm again. "Damn, this one is bleeding a lot, and it still stings." She drew a breath through her teeth and released it. "I'm serious, Grimmjow-san. I want you to make your business with me as quick and subtle as possible. Try not to attract too much attention, and try not to get other people mixed up in it."

"Why the hell are you lecturing me? He's the one that tried—"

"I'm certain you did something to provoke him," Haru interrupted. "Now, tell me why you're here and leave. Otherwise, we may both get into trouble." He growled and got to his feet, dusting himself off and licking one of his wounds.

"There's something your mother left here, isn't there?"

"What?" Haru's eyes glinted. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know what it is. I just overheard Aizen mention it. Something in her office."

"It must be that diary Hajime found," Takumi supplied, shrugging. "Sorry, taichou. I meant to mention it, but it keeps slipping my mind. It's not worth much, though."

"Nande?"

"Because there aren't any words on the pages." Hinamori bowed her head as Takumi said it. "Still, I caught more of a look than I bargained for when I touched it." He pressed his hand against his left eye and gave a hint of a bitter smile. "Hajime mentioned at one point that he though it may have been bakudou, but so far, he's had no luck breaking it." Takumi paused and glanced at Haru, who seemed to be in deep thought. "Taichou?"

She scratched the bridge of her nose again and lowered her head slightly. "Why is it so important to Aizen? Unless... he found a way to read it."

"How should I know if he did or not?" Grimmjow turned away. "Anyway, just thought it might be useful information to have, so I stopped by to deliver it. And also..." He picked up his sword and sheathed it, then walked swiftly to Haru and put a weighty hand on her head. "You quit pushing yourself, damn it. It's bad enough you're bleeding all over the place. You're falling apart at the seams. Give it a day's rest or two. Then you can keep pushing." Haru absorbed his words with a laugh. "What the hell?"

"Sumimasen," she said, waving her hand and covering her mouth. "You don't have to worry about me, Grimmjow-san."

"I'm not worried!"

"Whatever you say."

"I'm serious! It's just damn unsettling seeing you crack like that!" Despite the raw edge in his tone, Haru gave another laugh behind her hand.

"Alright, alright... I'll take the afternoon off. Will that satisfy you?"

"Two days. Two full days. And if I find out you're up working, I'll kill you."

"That's hardly fair, Grimmjow-san, given the fact that I have much to do."

"You think this is a negotiation?" He whipped away before he could see how surprised she was to have her own words thrown back at her. "Heal, damn it, so you can be ready to protect. Isn't that what you're always spouting on about? How the hell do you expect to do it when you're dead, chibi?" Grimmjow sank to the ground as soon as a sheathed Suzaku collided with his head, cursing as his vision began clearing.

"How many times must I say it?" she murmured. "My name is Haru. Yamashita Haru. Any variant of that not including the word 'chibi' would be fine, but if you keep calling me that, I'll crack your damn skull open, regardless of my own health." He gritted his teeth, then shot to his feet.

"What the hell is wrong with you? You chew your vice-captain out for trying to kill me, and then you freaking try yourself? Heh... you're pretty twisted." Haru absorbed his comments without one single alteration in her expression. "Fine by me. Keep swinging that stick. You crack my skull open, where the hell you going to get your information? Oi... where you going?"

"To get what's mine. Besides..." She turned back briefly. "If I don't walk away, someone might find you, and that really would be troublesome." The last he saw of her as she rejoined her vice-captain and sanseki was a smile. He gave a shrug and left through a door into darkness as quietly as he had come. Once Haru was sure he was gone, she gave a slow sigh and scratched the bridge of her nose again. "I apologize for not being honest from the beginning," she murmured.

"Taichou, it's alright," Hinamori reassured her. "I mean, you had a lot on your mind, and you weren't really sure how to handle him yourself, were you? But you seem to have worked it out."

"What exactly..." Takumi paused, and considered what he was saying. "What exactly is he to you?" Haru cast him a questioning glance. "I mean... I'm not implying anything. I just... I'm trying to understand what would possess you to protect him."

"Haven't you taken a good, long look at that part of my past? He saved me. He saved me from being eaten by a hollow. That's reason enough for me to save him. As for what he is to me..." She shook her head gently. "I don't suppose he would let me call him my friend. Perhaps acquaintances? Perhaps it's just the bond of two people indebted to each other? I really don't know... it's still hard for me to explain."

"You don't need to." Takumi rested his weapon on his shoulder and grinned. "I understand."

"I'm glad. I didn't want to lose you, either, Takumi." She rested a hand over her heart and bowed her head slightly. It was an unspoken understanding between them all, the fact that Yamashita Haru put her pride before everything else, even Soul Society. She had reasons to disdain them, at least a little bit, and so did Takumi and Hinamori.

Haru couldn't entirely forgive them for the genocide against her quincy relatives. A little piece of it would always be there, not to shinigami on the whole, but to those like Kurotsuchi Mayuri, who demeaned her for her heritage. Even then, she found some of her efforts, such as those she extended to Grimmjow, confounded at every turn, and by the very people she worked for. It frustrated her, and that frustration only made her pride stronger.

For Takumi, it was their fear of him. He knew those around him had been overcoming their prejudice bit by bit, but that reputation his father left behind before he was even born, and that reputation he gained after his mother died while he was still young... it gave him a wash of bitterness every time he thought about it. And with that bitterness, he had found his own pride in Akumashoku, who had slid almost seamlessly into a new and better shape.

Hinamori had little reason to have any reserves to Soul Society save their refusal to fully accept her captain and vice-captain, but deep down, beyond her conscious mind, she remembered how someone in Soul Society had betrayed her once. She didn't expect it to happen again. She knew she could still trust many of the people there. It was the fact that they had been so utterly duped by Aizen, duped as she had been, that made her wish and wonder what would have been had they been more perceptive. That distrust only forged a stronger bond between her and those that she was committed to following.

"Takumi." Haru's eyes swept backwards. "Momo-san." Hinamori nodded in understanding. "I have an utterly hopeless sense of direction, so..." Takumi chuckled and waved his hand.

"Momo-san doesn't know the way to Hajime's, but I can show you. Still, I'd be honored if she came with me." Takumi offered her his arm, and she took it, giving her captain a questioning look. Haru nodded, and she suddenly seized it with vigor and started moving forward. "Oi, Momo-san... matte kudasai!" Haru smiled after them and glanced skyward, stretching a lazy hand upward and letting her fingertips skim the sunlight before falling. There were some things that could only be spoken silently, some things that could only be understood by saying nothing at all, and although she wanted to say how glad she was to still have their support, she thought it was better to stay quiet.

* * *

><p>"Well, there you are. I had a feeling I'd have visitors today." It was an oddly tense greeting. Hajime was smiling when he gave it, but some subtle spark touched Takumi's eyes, both of them, and sent the mood spiraling into something despondent. "Oh, you're bleeding. Is that why you came?"<p>

"Part of it," he said, stepping aside to reveal Haru leaning on Hinamori's shoulder. She looked up at him and gave a sheepish wave. "She overdid it. Nearly passed out on the way down. Her head's spinning, and she's got some wounds she'd like you take care of." Hajime peered at his friend for a moment, and Haru caught that sharp edge in his smile.

"Please don't be dishonest with me, Takumi. I know why you're here, and I don't like being lied to." The silence between them was a rift. His left pupil narrowed slightly as he stepped back. "Come on... don't look at me like that. I've known you long enough to know when you're only telling me half the truth. Relax. I won't mention it, whatever it is. Come in before someone sees you." Takumi crept into the small but cozy house, followed by Hinamori and Haru. Once she was in, she slumped down to the floor and let her arms rest at her sides. When she opened her eyes, she noticed there were quite a few books and papers scattered about. "Which of you is hurt worse?"

"Definitely taichou," Hinamori answered. "If you give me some bandage, I'll patch Takumi up."

"You look like you got in some kind of fight," Hajime said, not looking away as he pushed the glove down Haru's arm and started unwinding the bandage. "So, who was the unlucky target?"

"None of your business." Haru glanced at her vice-captain in askance, but he shook his head in response.

"Could you take care of him in the other room? I've got something I want to discuss with Yamashita-taichou." Something dangerous slid across Takumi's eyes. Then, he pressed a hand against his head and shook himself free of the feeling. He wasn't even sure why it was there. There was just something discomforting about being in that room with Hajime. In the end, he acquiesced and led an equally hesitant Hinamori out. Once they rounded the corner, he pressed a finger to his lips, signaling silence, and she began working. Although he couldn't see them, he could almost hear them.

Haru lowered her eyes to her right arm and watched as the two bands appeared. Hajime paused and stared at them for a moment, then looked to her for an explanation, but she glanced away. He continued without a word, revealing the third, which was still bleeding a bit, and paused again.

"What... what is it?" Haru asked.

"Nothing. Just... these bands..." He looked at them again, and then to her face. In one instant, his eyes widened. "You aren't..." He let the pause convey the rest of what he wanted to say, and she smiled slightly. "Why?" Haru's eyes darkened slightly.

"That's for me to know." He absorbed her answer in silence, then gave her a long look. "You're acting strange."

"I've been working long shifts at the fourth," he answered calmly, wrapping her arm with a practiced hand and complete attention. "A lot of people are breaking down. They're tired and scared, and they're uncertain. That's the worst of all. I'm sure you can relate. I know I can. My eyes are getting strained from staring at so many forms." Hajime smiled slightly and fastened the bandage around her arm, touching it for a moment before looking at her. "Those wounds Takumi has... they're from a hollow, aren't they?" She blanched at the statement, but she said nothing. "Souka..." He paused and let his gaze fall away. "I should have known... someone like you would choose to protect a hollow."

Takumi leapt up at the sound of Haru slamming Hajime against the table and knocking an earthenware cup to the floor, the first sound he had been able to distinguish aside from murmurs he couldn't understand. He stopped just short of the threshold but found himself unable to get further from the moment he looked at Haru's eyes. They were a haze of silver light and violet shadow, pigment clinging to colorlessness. "Taichou!"

"How..." she said quietly. "How did you know?"

"That's for me to know." Haru drew back a fist, but something inside restrained her. Even as that wild flame raced across her eyes, Hajime's face remained completely calm.

_Almost like... _Her thoughts scattered, and she reached out with her free hand to touch his arm. It was cool, quite unlike the heat that inflamed her own. _Why... did I suddenly think... that he was... _She looked back to his face, that same calm surface, and wished she could read him. There was something strange in those eyes, something strange and familiar, but she couldn't distinguish it. Perhaps it was just that subtle strain of concern crossing his face. She spotted her reflection in his eyes and knew at once she must have a frightening look on her face, one that wavered between surprise and readiness to fight. Even then, Hajime was compliant and patient, a look that told her that perhaps, that crafty undertone to everything had been nothing more than her imagination.

"Are you..." Her voice trailed off, and she considered how to word the question. "Part... quincy?" That seemed like the last thing that came out of her mouth at that point, but Hajime didn't seem surprised. He simply smiled in his old way as his eyes shone. "Is that... why you've been chasing after my family's history?"

"Sorry," he said, leaning back. "I'm not part quincy, but you know Shimori-san was. That's why he chased it. I've got a different reason." Haru's grip loosened, and she knelt, bowing slightly. "You want to know the truth? You want to know why I've been looking?" Suddenly, he leaned against her ear, and Haru became rigid. Her eyes locked on Takumi's, and they remained on his even as Hajime spoke softly into her ear. Whatever he said made her eyes shoot open. They drifted so close to a faint that he nearly moved to help her, but in the end, they simply overflowed with tears. She bowed her head and pressed it against his shoulder, clutching her hakama as she clenched her jaw to silence her sobs.

"Taichou..." Hajime peered over his shoulder at Takumi.

"Fine," she choked. "I'm... fine. Just give it a minute." Takumi swallowed and remained where he was. Eventually, Hajime turned away and set his gaze on the opposite wall.

"Let Momo-san finish taking care of your wounds. You're still bleeding." He opened his mouth to object, but he knew he couldn't say anything at all really, not when Hajime spoke so sensibly. His shadow vanished behind the door, and the fourth division member lifted one hand, pressing it to the back of Haru's head.

"Sorry... it was a bit of a shock. I... knew you wouldn't take it well, but it's the truth." He fell silent and looked away. "Do you believe me?" he inquired. Haru drew away and peered up at him. He tried to read the light in her eyes, but he couldn't make sense of it. He lowered his own gaze and sighed. "It's alright if you don't. I just..."

"Hajime." She said the name firmly. "I've been rather... touchy lately." He nodded in understanding. That was Haru's way of saying she didn't want to talk about it.

"You should be. I'd be concerned if you weren't." He leaned back and rubbed the spot where she had been resting a moment earlier. "Do your feelings come and go?" She nodded again. "Starting to confuse the place inside your head with the place outside of it?" Again, she nodded. "I see." Suddenly, Hajime stood and paced around the room, skimming stacks of books, knocking some papers to the ground. He ran his finger along some spines and pulled one out, a thicker volume that blended in well with those around it. He rested it on the table and pressed it across to her.

"The reason you came." Haru peeled back the cover to find the book had been hollowed out. "I wanted to keep it safe," he said as he continued pacing around the room. Underneath her handwritten account of Shimori's last words, she found a thin journal. Curious, she touched it. She could almost feel her mother's presence in it and wondered how different it would be from her spoken voice. When she turned a few of the pages, her heart lurched when she realized they really were blank. "I swear, this place is impossible to navigate. Where the hell did he put it? Ah..." Hajime pulled another thin volume from the shelf and sat down, pausing to rip small strips from a blank sheet of paper as he thumbed through it. He used these slips to mark the pages and offered it to her when she was finished. "That should help you understand your power a little better." Hajime passed through the room again, pulling a can of matcha off the top of a bookshelf and some hot water off of a burner. Without a word, he dropped two tablets into the bottom of the cup and filled it. "Drink," he ordered.

"Why?"

"Just drink it. Or don't you trust me?" Rather than continue asking questions, Haru tipped it backwards, then recoiled as the sweetness permeated her mouth.

"Damn it... why does it have to taste like sugar?"

"It has something to do with how the compound reacts with the tea." Haru cast him a long look full of bitter memories, but that insistent smile was unrelenting. Eventually, she tipped the cup back and drank it all in one gulp, hunching over and gasping as they ate away at her. "That should help with the pain." Hajime started rifling behind some books, then pulled out a bottle. "Two in the evening before bed, one if things get unbearable. When you start taking more than six a day, come see me."

"Hajime..."

"And this..." He placed a familiar blue bottle in front of her. "To speed up the healing so you can get back to work as soon as you can. With your reiatsu the way it is now, I'm sure it will work much faster than it did the first time."

"Hajime..."

"If anything starts going amiss, anything at all, you come and find me."

"But Hajime..."

"Look—" He paused abruptly and leaned across the table, lowering his voice to a whisper. "I'm not saying Takumi is incompetent with this sort of thing. He just has a lot on his mind right now. I think that's a fair way to put it."

"Demo!"

"Don't you trust me?" He leaned across the table and smiled, smiled to hide what he was really thinking and feeling. He knew that Haru knew, but she didn't say anything.

"You're pushing yourself, too."

"We've all got to push, Yamashita-taichou." Hajime dropped both medications into a fabric pouch and pulled the strings in opposite directions to shut it. Then, he laid it on top of the books and pushed the stack across the table and dropped his head a bit. "Do you know how much I wish it were me right now?" Haru tilted her head slightly. "It would be amazing to touch a power like that." Hajime ran a hand through his hair and peered at the wall. "You could do almost anything." He smiled and glanced at her from across the table, leaning on his hand and examining every facet of her expression as if it were written clearly on a page. "You'll certainly do what you've set out to."

"Why are you saying things like that with such confidence?" she asked, folding her hands in her lap and peering across the table at him.

"You already know why." His eyes glinted as he turned to her, and she touched her ear as if the words had silently sounded in them again. "You should go home and rest, taichou. That medicine might make you a little dizzy."

"You should have said that earlier!" Haru cried, shooting to her feet. The door slammed open, and Takumi exited, pacing carefully around the papers while readjusting his uniform. He had already tied the eye patch back around his head and had made it a special point to thank Hinamori, who followed behind him with the same set expression.

"We'll walk you home," Takumi said, "but then, we're going back to the office. There's still paperwork." Haru nodded and collected the things Hajime had given her, giving him one glance of thanks before following her sanseki out. "Will you be here later?" Hajime's eyes moved from Haru to his friend. "I'd like to stop by if it's not inconvenient."

"Why?"

"You'll see." Takumi grinned. "Don't worry. It's nothing serious. Just a drink and a chat between old friends. I feel like I haven't seen enough of you."

"You know I can't hold my liquor." He waved and slipped out the door, pushing it shut as Hinamori crept out from behind him and pressed a hand to his head, then strode away with that same serious look on his face.

"Takumi, wait a minute..." Hinamori walked after him, watching Haru to make sure she didn't stagger. "What... what's the matter?" For a moment, he didn't speak. He simply gave her a look that asked to leave the matter alone. "I'm really worried, Takumi. There was something off about that whole thing. And taichou..." Hinamori turned to her, and she straightened. "What did he say to provoke you?"

"Oh, it was nothing. I just let my emotions get the best of me for a minute. Probably a lingering effect of what happened earlier today." Hinamori whirled in front of her.

"Taichou—"

"It's alright," Takumi said from ahead. "If she doesn't want to talk about it. She'll tell us when she's ready." In the end, they were just the same, him, his captain, and his friend. They were good at keeping secrets when they weren't sure how they felt about things. For Haru, it was the words Hajime had given her. For Takumi, it was his plan to get Hajime loose-lipped enough to spill some information. For Hajime, it was something he had seen in the mirror every now and again. As he sat in his apartment, he pressed a hand over his face and breathed, wondering how much longer he could keep his secret without it interfering with his daily life.

It couldn't be long, now.

* * *

><p>Byakuya slid the door open and found Haru sitting by a table, her head cradled in her arms, a book resting just beneath them. Another sat on the table nearby, and as Byakuya came closer, he saw that she had slipped into a light doze. He studied her expression after brushing her hair out of her face. Her lips were parted slightly. When he touched them, her face scrunched up, and her eyes opened. She sat up and rubbed them, then gave him a half-sleeping look and fell against his shoulder. "Welcome back," she mumbled against it, curling up against him.<p>

"I'm home," he said quietly, kissing her forehead and wrapping her in his arms. She buried her face in his haori for a moment, then set to rubbing the sleep away from her eyes again. "Did something happen today, Haru-kun?"

"What would have happened?" she asked.

"I don't know," he answered. "Something to make you come home early. Keiji let it slip that you've been in here for hours."

"Oh, that." Haru sank sleepily against him. "It was nothing serious. That hollow came back today, though." She said it as if she were detached from the fact and huddled a bit closer. "Takumi tried to kill him, so I had to get between them because they're both important to me, and I didn't want either of them getting hurt." Haru's violet eyes appeared, hazy with the remnants of her nap, but when she blinked again, they became clear, and she sat bolt upright, pressing her hand to her head. "Damn it... why am I telling you this? It's not really all that important, to be honest."

"I have never heard you mention that your vice-captain and that... hollow... were important to you."

"What? Are you jealous?" she asked, grinning and pressing her forehead against his. Without a word, Byakuya captured her lips, then slipped away after a momentary contact.

"What else happened, then?"

"The third band came in on my right arm just before I left the office."

"Did it?"

"Yeah," she said, smiling and nodding happily. "Just two more, both at once. Oh, but I went to see Hajime today after stopping Takumi. He gave me some advice. Apparently, he knows a little bit about ignis solus since he has been studying my family. Oh, and he also gave me some medicine to help with the pain. Unfortunately..."

"Unfortunately?" Haru smiled sheepishly and pressed a hand to her head.

"It makes me really dizzy. Not to the point of making me nauseous... I just think I'll fall over if I try to stand up."

"That is unfortunate."

"Tell me about it. I'm pretty useless right now." Byakuya rested his hands on her shoulders as she tipped to one side. "Truly, it's all I can do to manage this." She gestured towards the book on the table. The one that was open had nothing written in it that he could see, and he glanced at Haru again. "I haven't gone mad, if that's what you're thinking." She lifted something off of the other book she had and slipped them on. When she looked back at him, she was wearing the glasses he had concealed in Hisana's shrine after he thought she had died. "Sorry I sort of borrowed them without asking. I'll put them back when I'm done, but I need them to see..." Haru trailed off as Byakuya wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her back against his chest, his chin placed gently on top of her head.

"How have you really been today, Haru-kun?" She said nothing for a moment and simply cast her eyes at the page. "Did it hurt? Were you crying?"

"I did a lot of things today I don't normally do. Then again, you would, too, if your vice-captain's best friend said something like that." Haru's eyes moved down the page. "It's tough reading this, too. My mother wrote it while she was still a captain."

"Misuzu did?"

"Hai," Haru said, turning the page. "That's why that hollow came back today. He said Aizen mentioned it, and I'm supposed to be looking for clues about how he has been using it."

"Anything yet?"

"I haven't even thought about it," she confessed, smiling. "Because I can hear her voice through these words, and it has been a long time since I've heard her voice." Haru dropped her eyes to the page. "You can stay like that, but I want to finish before I say anything else if that's alright. I've only got a little bit left." Byakuya nodded and shifted slightly before falling still. Haru leaned against him, and he watched over her shoulder as her eyes moved. Other than a small shutter and a sharp breath, she said nothing. After a short time, she slowly lowered the book and set it on the table and removed the glasses, setting them between the pages.

"Haru-kun?"

"I should have known. I should have known from the start." She said it as if she were thinking it, or saying it to herself rather than him. "After the way he touched me that one time..." Haru wrapped a hand around her wrist and recalled the way those fingers had grazed against her skin. "I should have known... that Aizen was in love with my mother. Iie... perhaps not. Perhaps, like Momo-san, he was only trying to manipulate her with her feelings." Haru shot to her feet and whirled towards the door, staggering twice before catching herself on the frame. Byakuya followed directly behind her, seizing her wrist and pulling her back before she could go any further. "She knew."

"What?"

"She knew what Aizen was planning!" The hand in Byakuya's trembled like a leaf in a winter wind, and he thought he heard tears strike the floor. "She knew... and she couldn't do anything... because he was her vice-captain... because he meant something to her, sort of like Takumi means something to me. And I..." She gritted her teeth. "I understand the way she felt back then." Haru lifted her head, but she refused to face Byakuya and opting instead to press her free hand across her eyes. "Think about it. You work with someone every day. You come to trust that person. You come to feel for that person. At the last minute, that person approaches you, asking for your help with something that goes against everything you know." As she turned, Byakuya saw the traces of tears still in her eyes, but more unsettling still was the smile on her face. "You want to stop him yourself, but you can't. You can't bring yourself to kill that person you worked with for fifty years. You want someone else to stop him, but you can't betray the confidence he has in you. So... what do you do? What can you do?" Byakuya stared at her for a moment, watching her lips move as the word came out of them. "You run." The reality struck him with enough force to crack his usual mask of composure. His breath came faster than usual, and his eyes widened slightly. "You abandon everything and run away, run to a place where, sure, he may find you one day, but only after you've become someone else." Haru fell against his shoulder, and he nearly staggered back, but he caught himself moving and touched her shoulders. "I think I get it now, the reason she wouldn't believe he had anything to do with the decay of her life that started with my father's death. She couldn't bring herself to believe it. She wasn't strong enough to see how truly despicable he was." Byakuya tensed as her fingers dug into his haori and wound his arms around her. "Hajime... is..."

"Hajime? Shimori Hajime?" Haru said nothing. She simply pressed herself closer and let the tears rain out of her eyes one after the other while the words he spoke rippled through her memory. "What of him?"

"I can't say." She suddenly lurched forward and latched onto his scarf, then kissed him to stop him from asking any more questions. Byakuya tried to pull away twice, but her grasp was to strong, or his will was too weak. Finally, on the third try, he managed to pull away, but Haru, despite her vertigo, pushed forward. His feet got tangled up and hers, and they both wound up on the floor, Byakuya struggling to keep hold of his wits and Haru leaning down to kiss him again. Despite how thrown he was and how much his head was reeling, he managed to push her away again and clutch her in a way that forced her not to suffocate him. He gasped for a few moments, ignoring her squirming, and focused on the ceiling rather than on their arrangement.

The minute Haru slipped loose, he turned his head away. "Byakuya-sama," she said quietly in his ear. "I need to lose myself in something right now." He set his jaw and turned when she pressed a hand against his face. "Please..." Byakuya gently pushed her back as he sat up, careful to keep his hand on her shoulder and avoid everything her gloves covered, knowing full well what wounds lurked there. He sat and thought for a moment, his fingers remaining loose as he walked a labyrinth of notions. There were drugs involved, even if he didn't give them to her. The power itself loosened her ability to control how acutely she felt her emotions. She was upset about what she had read, panicked about not getting her own work done, and acutely aware that she would have to confront those words again when she went digging for answers.

But she was so precious to him...

The fingers on Haru's shoulder tightened and he leaned forward, his lips parted slightly. "I can't," he murmured, shifting and pressing them to her forehead. As he drew back, he caught sight of Haru's eyes. He folded his arms around her and pulled her to his chest, drawing his knees up and clutching her. "Because... I love you too much." As always, when she needed the voice of reason, it was there, whispering in her ear, beating back the madness she had heard earlier that day. She gave a quiet sob and threw her arms around his neck, venting her frustrations against his shoulder. Byakuya said nothing and did nothing; he simply held her until she fell quiet. Once she did, he said, "You should eat something."

"I know."

"You sound disappointed." Haru gave a slight laugh.

"If I'm disappointed, it's in myself, for showing you such a disgraceful side of me." She pushed away and ran a finger up the bridge of her nose. "I apologize, and you're right, as usual. It's not okay for me to make decisions like that in my current state of mind." Haru's smile faded, and her face became contemplative. "Kuso... I'm really tired, and my head is spinning."

"Can you walk?" She shook her head. "I know something that will clear your head." Haru nodded as he scooped her up and carried her towards the door, staggering slightly as she reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck. Byakuya glanced at Haru as her breath struck the side of his face and saw that same look painted on it. Whatever she was thinking about, it was something she couldn't speak of.

"Sorry. I just... need to be close to you right now. But... if you mind..."

"Stay as you are," he interrupted, then continued on. "You are not bothering me." Haru nodded slightly and buried her face in his scarf, letting herself be carried.

_How long... was he carrying that around by himself? _Hajime's words echoed in her ear again, and her eyes dropped shut. _It's painful. _Her mind shifted to the hougyoku, and she curled up even tighter. _It's painful... to carry something like that alone. It hurts... _But then, she realized she had it slightly better than he had. After all, Urahara knew about the hougyoku. Hajime had no one, not even Takumi, who could help him carry his own weight. As that thought passed through her mind, she felt a gust of cold air hit her and glanced up to find Byakuya had carried her to the garden. Their breaths danced together on the air as they peered out at it.

"If I set you down, will you fall over?" Haru said nothing, but her look confirmed that she wouldn't. As he lowered her, he took extra care to right her balance, yet as soon as her feet struck the ground, she darted out of his grasp, wavering only slightly after leaping into the snow and taking hasty steps across it. When she reached the midway point, she threw her arms out towards the sun, reaching for it with at old desperation in her eyes, though there were new things mingled with it, too: loneliness and confusion. Byakuya read them and bowed his head. He couldn't bring himself to ask what troubled her. He could only watch her as she struggled with everything and carry her when the weight of her burdens made her incapable of carrying herself.

And, strangely, although it vexed him to be pushed into the dark, he felt satisfied with doing just that.

* * *

><p>Victory! You have gained over 9,000 experience points and a complementary Japanese lesson!<p>

Kuso: Japanese swear word! (And now, I get to be careful not to say this EVER. XD)

Demo: But

Iie: No

Nande: Why

Sumimasen: Apology of sorts

Matte kudasai: Please wait

Souka: I see

Hai: Yes

The next chapter will be up soonish! Until then, I humbly ask for your patience and await your reviews. Take care, and happy reading!


	15. Chapter 15: Decision

A/N: Chapter number 2 of the day?! I'm on a roll, but I'd be on a bit more of a roll if my apartment were so cold and I didn't have unwritten lesson plans hanging over my head. At any rate, I extend my usual thanks, and an especially large thanks to everyone who waited so patiently for this chapter. I won't delay you any longer. Please enjoy!

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 15: Decision<em>

After reading the journal, Haru did something she had never done before. She took two full days off, and she did it as much for herself as she did for Grimmjow. The third band on her right arm still hurt every now and then, but it didn't bleed much. Besides, it gave her time to go over the journal more thoroughly, and with a clear mind. The morning after she had come between Takumi and Grimmjow, the morning after Hajime had spoken to her, her head felt suddenly clear. She followed his directions exactly and made sure she ate ample small meals throughout the day to counteract the dizziness. From the comfort of her own bed, she took copious notes on the content of the journal and numbered every entry. Only as an afterthought did she write the dates down.

That was when she saw something.

She leapt up so fast, she nearly upset the tea, but once she calmed down, she shook her head and skimmed them again. She pulled another sheet of paper and wrote them down, one after the other, in a straight line. Then, for a long time, she stared at it and tried to conjure the memories of her past nine months in Soul Society. The more she looked, the more she became convinced of it. She considered settling it then and there, but she had no choice but to wait. Even Byakuya had pressed her to stay put after that evening, if for nothing else to think things over. She wrapped a haori around her shoulders and stood, reaching for the door. She was startled when it opened of its own accord.

"You're awake." Haru gaped slightly and nodded. "I'm glad."

"Hajime, how the hell did you get in here?"

"Oh, I came to visit, to see how you were faring. Keiji-san said I could find you here and sent me back." Something odd slid through his eyes, and she stepped back, wrapping her haori tighter around her. His smile faded slightly, and he gave her a serious look. "Is the medicine I gave you working?"

"Hai," she answered, nodding. "My leg and arm have both healed, and my emotions have been pretty stable the past few days. My arms haven't hurt at all."

'That's good to hear." Hajime slid a hand through his hair and glanced to her. "Are you... going somewhere?"

"Just the garden." Haru gathered her confidence and swept past him. "If you aren't doing anything, you can come with me. I need to think a bit, so I won't say much, but..."

"Oh, I wouldn't trouble you with my presence."

"Hajime..."

"Besides, I have some work I need to finish, so..."

"Hajime." Haru sighed at the sound of her own voice and pushed her glasses off of her face. "You should... tell Takumi."

"Tell him what, exactly?" She gave him a look laden with meaning. "Oh. That." He bowed his head, but when he raised it again, he was smiling. "I'm sorry, but I couldn't inconvenience him with something like that."

"Hajime, he has been your best friend since you started at the academy. I hardly think it would trouble him." He considered it for a moment, then slowly shook his head, that smile still lingering on his lips. "But to carry something like that alone..." Haru paused, hoping that her words wouldn't give away too much. "It hurts." Hajime forgot to hold his smile, and his face turned thoughtful. "It's painful, and lonely... too lonely for words." Her violet eyes shimmered with sadness, and he swallowed, pressing a hand over his right eye and taking a slow breath.

"You're kind to worry," he sighed. "Demo... it's something I just have to do alone. You know how it is." He gave her a knowing look, and her eyes widened. "One day soon, you'll be forced to tell them. What then?" The thought numbed her, and she staggered slightly. Hajime reached out to stop her from falling, but she had already found the wall and stabilized herself. Only when he saw her eyes did his hand fall, those brave and confident eyes.

"No matter what happens," she murmured, "I'll never stop protecting the things that are important to me. Grimmjow-san, Byakuya-sama, Takumi, Hinamori..." Her eyes glinted. "You." Hajime turned to her. "Until my body turns to dust, I will protect this world. I'm the only one that can."

"Not me." He shook his head, but her eyes didn't change. "Don't protect me."

"Don't give your superior orders," she shot back, her eyes cutting through the darkness of the hallway. "And don't think so little of yourself." Haru smiled gently. "You should stand up and be proud, Hajime."

"Demo—"

"I'll walk you out. That is, unless you have something else you'd like to ask me." He could only fall silent and follow her to the door. She pushed it open and watched as he stepped out, turning back only briefly.

"Did you... find what you were looking for?" Haru digested his question.

"I may have." She shifted slightly. "I need to think on it a bit before I talk it over with Toushiro-san. Until then, I don't want to answer definitely."

"Fair enough." Hajime slipped away as quietly as he had come, walking across the now thawed ground and turning towards the fourth division when he left the estate. Haru watched him leave, her arms crossed and her eyes distant. Some thought raced across them, and she slipped inside, pacing the hallways carefully until she came to the garden. Then, she threw the door open and walked to the edge of the banister, sitting down and staring out across the dead brown expanse.

_So lonely, _she thought, dropping her head and smiling. _You'll never fool anyone with eyes like that, Hajime._

* * *

><p>Hitsugaya straightened as Haru entered, pushing her glasses up and holding a thin volume in her hands. "Did you get them?" she asked. He nodded and handed her a list.<p>

"I had to stay up late to finish them, so sorry if the handwriting is a little sloppy."

"It's alright," she answered, seating herself on his couch and pulling a sheet of paper out of the journal. She laid them side-by-side on the table, took a breath, and unfolded them. He watched her for a moment as her eyes darted back and forth between the two columns.

"Well?" he asked after a prolonged pause. Haru leaned back and gazed at the ceiling, removing her glasses and rubbing her eyes clear. "Haru..."

"I'm almost sure."

"Almost?" he demanded, taking both slips of paper and examining them. "They're an exact match! What the hell could you possibly do to make it any clearer?" Hitsugaya started at the look of her smile. "You wouldn't."

"I would."

"I don't understand why you need more confirmation!"

"Because when I'm playing with the fate of Soul Society, I like to be certain of things." Haru pushed her glasses up her nose and then adjusted them slightly. "Even so, I said I'd have an answer when I came back. I wanted you to know what my current projections were. I'd say plan to be ready a week before that, just to be safe, but you probably already thought of that." Haru glanced down at the page that was open and shut the volume hastily, releasing a slow and difficult breath.

"What is it? You feeling alright?" Haru's eyes appeared, distant and desolate, and Hitsugaya straightened as he leaned over his desk and peered at them.

"Forgive me." That was all she said before getting up and turning towards the door with the volume folded in her arms, her hair swaying gently behind her. As she reached the door, Matsumoto burst in, shouting an apology and stepping slowly aside as Haru stepped out. She followed the captain until she rounded the corner, then appeared in the office again.

"Taichou, what did you do to her? She looked like she just got dumped!"

"For all I know, she may have," he answered, penning something on the form in front of him.

"Ho?" Matsumoto leaned forward and grinned. "You know what that means, don't you?"

"I don't really care to." He jerked up as Matsumoto appeared in front of him, leaning over his forms and cutting off his path to a peace of mind.

"It means you've got a chance!" For a moment, nothing sounded. Then, Hitsugaya clenched his fist, and the brush snapped in half. As the pieces fell to his desk, he shot up and fixed his jaded eyes on his vice-captain.

"Why the hell would I want something like that? Get to work, damn it!"

"You're so mean, taichou," Matsumoto said. "You need to loosen up a bit." She waved her hand nonchalantly. "But I guess since you're so insistent..." She lifted a form, gave it a cursory glance, and dropped it carelessly on the floor. "Time for a tea break."

"Fine," he said quietly, fighting back his anger. "But take it somewhere else. That way, at least one of us can work." She sauntered out of the room and disappeared the way she came. Once she was gone, Hitsugaya sighed and set himself down, rubbing the spot between his eyes. "Gods... what could have made her make that expression?" he asked the empty room. Then, realizing he was wasting too much time talking to himself, he turned his thoughts to his paperwork and to the anticipation of an interval more definite than he ever could have hoped for.

* * *

><p>"Yamashita-taichou?" Haru glanced up from the road she was walking and paused. "It's been a while."<p>

"Miyake-san?" He smiled and approached her. "It really has been a while. How are things at the first?"

"No less chaotic than they are at the fifth," he answered. "I heard you were out sick recently. I'm happy to see you're feeling better." Haru smiled and nodded her thanks. "I'm walking this way a bit, so would it be alright if I walked with you?"

"Of course." They paced alongside each other for a bit, Haru still clinging to her volume and the lists hidden in its pages, Miyake swinging his arms easily.

"You're wearing glasses again?"

"Huh? Oh..." She touched them and smiled. "It's the stress and the exhaustion. Sometimes, when they get to be too much, my vision gets a little blurry. It's just easier to carry them all the time."

"Convincing Kuchiki-taichou of that was probably easy."

"The hell it was," Haru responded, laughing slightly. "It was easy to borrow them, except for having to find them. And that was while I was dizzy from some medication Hajime-san prescribed me. He let me alone for one night, but despite my condition, next morning, he was already demanding them back."

"Oh? And what did you say?"

"I told him I had a perfectly good reason to keep them." She paused. "Six times, actually. On the seventh, I threatened to crack his skull open and assured him he would get them back as soon as I got a new pair." Miyake grinned and glanced upward.

"I heard Kuchiki-taichou is pretty even keel. I can't imagine him being insistent about anything." She gave a slight smile and nodded in understanding.

"If I didn't know him as well as I did, I would probably say the same." Haru brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "That mask fooled me when I first met him, too, but he really is a kind person despite the way he may seem sometimes."

"He must worry about you a lot."

"I don't even think the word 'a lot' begins to cover it." She pressed a hand to her head, but she couldn't keep herself from smiling. "You'd think that by now, I would stop doing things to worry him, but truthfully, I'm too selfish not to."

"I don't think you're selfish at all," Miyake said quietly, stopping because it was time for them to part ways. "You're strong, and you have a kind heart. You take on a lot of suffering for other people, and you always, always keep your eyes forward. You may peer back over your shoulder from time to time, but it's because you know there are things you can learn from your past to make everyone's future better. At least..." He grinned sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head. "That's how I've always thought of you, Yamashita-taichou." Haru didn't know what to say. Here was someone she had only met a handful of times telling her in so many words that he admired her for her leadership capabilities, and just at the moment when she felt guilty for actions she hadn't even committed.

"Arigatou," she said at last, bowing her head. Miyake glanced down at her with curiosity. "It really helps to hear that." When she raised her head, her expression was bright. There was still a fringe of shadow at the edges, but for a moment at least, Haru was completely at ease, at least regarding one muddled point of her heritage.

"Well, I'm going this way," Miyake said, pointing over his shoulder. "Sorry for holding you up."

"Oh, it was no trouble," she answered. "My road takes me this way, but it was nice to see you again. Take care of yourself."

"You, too." He raised a hand in farewell and walked his own road, and Haru walked hers with renewed determination in her steps, her haori fluttering behind her.

_I earned this power, _she told herself, _but that doesn't mean I can't lose the right to it. _She thought of what was ahead and let her eyes fall shut. _If I lose all of that kindness Miyake sees in me, then I won't be able to face him, or anyone else. I can't choose strength of sword over strength of heart. _Haru pushed her office door open. _I'll hold onto both no matter what. _She tapped on Takumi's door and slid it open. Hinamori glanced up and removed her hand from Takumi's shoulder.

"Oyahogozaimasu," they said in unison.

"Ah... ohayo," she answered. "Everything went well in my absence, I presume?"

"We managed to keep things in order," Takumi said, smiling and leaning forward to study Haru. "You look better, taichou. That time off did you some good, didn't it?"

"A lot of unexpected things happened." He watched the slight spring in her step. "Could you come with me for a minute? I have something I need you to do."

"Sure thing." He pushed his chair back and followed her, watching all of the secrets sliding through her, secrets he couldn't see and didn't dare look at. As soon as they were both inside, Haru slid the door shut and waved for him to sit down. Once he was seated, she took a seat in her own chair, shifting the stack of forms to the side and leaning across from him.

"First, I'm telling you now... if you ever doubt me, stop following me."

"Taichou…"

"I mean it," she said, peering up at him for the first time since he had come in. Takumi gazed at her for a moment, then dropped her eye. "What you did a few days ago... I'm willing to overlook it because I understand what it's like to owe debts like that. I won't stand between you next time, and I won't hate you if you try to get even. My pride forces me to protect him, but I've been selfish. I didn't consider your pride when I intervened. Maybe it wasn't right. Maybe the action itself is beyond such labels. Whatever the case, I never intended to prolong your pain."

"Nani?"

"You don't cover that eye because you're afraid of others' opinions." Haru set the paper she had been skimming aside and peered at Takumi. "You hide it because that wound is a sign of your impotence, your powerless moment where you could do nothing more but be protected. And you are ashamed of it."

"You've got it all wrong, taichou."

"Don't lie to me."

"I'm not," he insisted, standing up and approaching her desk. "Well, not entirely. I don't want anyone to know I still have this eye. If Aizen knew..."

"Aizen?"

"Hai." Takumi stood rigidly in front of Haru's desk. She peered over the lenses at him, then smiled. "Shit... I let it slip to that espada."

"If he says he saw your eye, that would mean admitting he was here. Do you really think he would do such a thing?" Takumi didn't answer, and Haru honestly didn't expect him to. She could see the confusion that came over his features. "There are still some things I can't tell you. You know that, and yet you follow me." Haru set her glasses down for a moment. "Perhaps one day, there won't be any secrets between us. Until then, if there comes a day you can't protect yours, then I'll protect it for you." She stood up and shifted on quick steps, setting a sheet of paper on the corner of the desk. "I need you to use it for me, though. Just this once, if you can. There's something I need to confirm." She gestured for him to approach and stood aside, watching as Takumi stood over the folded sheet of paper.

"What do I need to do?"

"Simple," Haru answered with a smile. "I want you to write the first date you think of on that sheet of paper."

"Eh?" he demanded. "But I don't even know what's on it. What if I'm setting your wedding date or something?"

"Why would I involve you in something like that? This is purely professional, Takumi. I'm asking for your help as my vice-captain and as my friend. I trust your judgment." He turned away from her and gazed at the paper she had indicated, then huffed and raised his head.

"This doesn't seem to have a point, taichou."

"It does," Haru stated. "I'll tell you as soon as you're finished. The first date. Come on, it won't hurt."

"What are you trying to make me do, taichou?" he inquired, turning to her.

"I told you before, I'm trying to make you confirm something." Takumi sighed and bent his head over the paper, taking in its blank surface. He could see some smudges of ink on the other side, so he knew she had written something on it. He wanted to know what it was, but as soon as he tried, his vision clouded. Was it some sort of test for him? No... Haru had always believed him and trusted him. She wouldn't stoop so low to test his abilities; she respected him too much to do that. He glanced back at her briefly, watching as she directed a deep look of thought at the door. Whatever thought was on her mind, it was something Takumi didn't want to touch, not if it dragged up that lonely, confused look in her eyes. When Haru glanced at him, his eyes shot back to the paper. Takumi breathed a slow sigh and let his fingers touch the brush. Something came to mind. In the darkness that met his left eye, he saw the blurred apparition of a date.

_What if I'm wrong? _he said at last.

_Perhaps it is as Yamashita-taichou said, _Akumashoku reassured him. _Perhaps this goes beyond the bounds of right or wrong. _With a sigh, he shut both eyes and moved his hand.

_Maybe you're right, _he responded. _I know how it feels… to be beyond that boundary. Because I'm standing on it, even now. She should know, Akumashoku. She should know, but… _He sighed and lifted the brush away. _But now isn't the right time to tell her. _He set the brush down and backed away.

"Unfold it," Haru said as the soft sound of his steps struck her ears. Knowing that questioning her motives would do him no good, he opened and lifted it to his eyes. His eyes widened with understanding as a rush of memories flashed through his mind, and the paper slipped out of his hand. Haru remained facing the door, her back to him, but the soft flutter told her what she needed to know. Haru spun about and stumbled, steadied herself on the sofa, and then moved more deliberately until she fell into it. Takumi's hand was where it had been, trembling slightly. "I don't... understand." He whirled to her, his eyes trembling, but Haru had dropped her face and rested her forehead against her folded hands. "Why... do you have a list of every day Soul Society has been attacked so far? Why is the same date on this paper three times? Why... is it the same date I wrote down on the bottom?"

"Because it's not just a list of attacks," she said, raising her troubled eyes. "It's a list of the days my mother wrote in this." She set the book down on the table, and Takumi only managed a breath before his lips parted. "Her entries were spaced over her last five years in Soul Society, but she always wrote on the same days because they were important to her for reasons she hasn't bothered leaving behind." Her hands and her gaze remained steady. "But they're also important for Soul Society. The first is the day I died. Four days later, there was an attack on the academy. I was there and put an end to it. The third is the day Shimori-san was killed, the fourth the day of my captain's exam and another attack." Haru paused. "By now, you understand."

"He _read _this?"

"My mother left it behind when she fled," she murmured.

"But there's nothing in it."

"Aizen wore glasses." Haru touched her own, and Takumi gave a slow nod.

"So you're saying... that these dates correlate exactly because Aizen is using them on purpose?"

"It certainly seems that way."

"But why?" Takumi shouted. "It doesn't make any sense to me!"

"Don't ask me why." He caught the pleading note in her voice, saw the difficult light glide through her eyes, and swallowed his questions.

"So these last three dates..."

"Are days a hollow will go to the human world, or here. The places didn't correlate at all. My guess, though, is that they'll go wherever I am."

"And the last entry is January eleventh?" Haru nodded as something profoundly sad dragged through her gaze. "You wrote it three times, though."

"Care to guess why?" Other than January eleventh, none of the other dates had years attached to them. The first went back about sixteen years. The other two were nearly eleven and nine years past. Takumi looked from her to the paper. Haru sighed at last and rose, pacing slowly across the floor with her arms folded behind her back. "The one sixteen years ago is my birthday. The other two... are reasons I will never celebrate it again." Takumi lowered his eyes again. Of course. Her parents. How such a fact slipped his mind, he could only guess at. He suspected it was the sheer pressure of the room, but he could have been wrong. He bent and picked up the paper, then raised it to his eyes again.

"Taichou!"

"What?" she answered, her heart practically leaping out of her chest at his volume. Takumi showed her the piece of paper and pointed to the third-to-last date. "So? What of it?"

"Isn't that today?" Haru looked at the number again. Of course she was behind; she had been out of work for two days, and that timelessness had thrown her off. Her eyes shifted back and forth over the number at a dizzying rate. Then, she felt it, a gentle rush of a shinigami's reiatsu. "That's Miyake Akihiko from the first division," Takumi said.

"Kuso," Haru said, leaping to her feet and shoving the door open. "Momo-san!" she called down the hall. Hinamori peered out of Takumi's office.

"Nandesuka?"

"I need you to keep watch over this room until I get back," she stated, throwing her glasses on the desk and striding into the hallway, Takumi following on her heals. Both of them looked so serious that she didn't question their motives. "If you could also make sure no one messes with the little paper trail I've devised..."

"Of course," Hinamori stated with a bow. Takumi's visible eye locked on hers as he passed. Although it was full of that old restless bloodlust, he broke his rhythm for one moment.

"Be careful," he whispered.

"You as well, and tell taichou the same." He nodded and bolted after her. Hinamori's eyes followed them until they were out of sight, and Takumi felt them slip away, giving a slight shudder.

"We need to be careful," Takumi said as they stepped into the sun. "We don't know how many there are or how strong they are."

"Did Momo-san tell you to be careful?" Haru flashed out of sight, and her vice-captain bolted after her. "To be honest, I'm glad she was compliant. I don't want her getting hurt. Besides, the things in that room are worth their weight in gold. We wanted an interval. We got an exact date. If I lose the proof now, it will all be for nothing." Takumi had no problem keeping up with his captain. They ran along for a bit before something crossed his mind.

"Taichou," he said, appearing beside her. He wanted to ask her what she was thinking, but instead, he asked, "What's our plan?"

"Don't get killed."

"Sounds good to me," Takumi stated. He tried to shake the unsettled feeling creeping over him. Instead, he focused on the scene playing itself out in his head and in the present. Miyake had released his zanpakutoh and was attempting to fend off the onslaught of hollow, but he wasn't getting very far. A flicker of lightning, a crash of thunder… but it was no good. He wasn't fast enough to keep up with all the blows. One stagger was all it took. In a position of complete vulnerability, his mind froze in horror, defying the final blow that seemed certain to come, but just before it fell, two blurs shot in front of him at the same time, and the hollow disintegrated. Miyake readied his weapon again and glanced from Takumi to Haru as they appeared at his back, facing away from each other with their weapons raised. "Yare, yare... this isn't quite what I expected."

"Eh?" Miyake asked.

"I know," Haru continued, ignoring his bewilderment. "The third-to-last date on the list... you'd think it would be a little more difficult than this."

"I don't know what you're talking about, but if you're here to help me—"

"Of course we are," Takumi interrupted. "Don't worry, Miyake-san. We'll take good care of you and your zanpakutoh." He smiled and examined the lance in Miyake's hands, then felt the weightlessness of his own against his palms. "Akumashoku is this one's name. Yours?"

"Oh... Kaminarikuro."

"What does it do?" Haru asked, destroying one with kidou.

"It's a lightning-type zanpakutoh with sort of fiery undertones. Here, let me show you." He spun his weapon, and they both watched from the corners of their eyes as sparks raced up and down the handle. Then, he thrust it forward and called, "Seitekihibana." The electricity jumped from his zanpakutoh to the nearest hollow and from there touched two more near it. Then, he twisted it and raised the point to the sky. "Tenka!" The three hollow that had been touched by the spark burst into flames, which in term caught a few other hollow around them. In the end, they all burned.

"Sort of like sekaishibou," Takumi commented, jabbing the hollow that had come at him. "Taichou's is a fire-type, too. I'm more or less power-based." He cut upwards, then turned to Haru, who ducked under the lance and slashed through the hollow that was about to bite him. "I think we can figure the rest out for ourselves." Haru fired another kidou and watched the spark jump from hollow to hollow.

"It takes time."

"That's why I need back-up," Miyake said. "The longer I spin it, the more hollow get hit, but I usually don't have that much time between blows."

"Then give us a blow worth speaking of. We'll take care of things until then." Haru pulled her Seele free and materialized it, feeling that pulse of nascent pain forming below the third bands on both arms. She rested her weight on her right foot and drew her quincy weapon back, extending her left arm. The cross hanging from it gave a slight jingle as a silver halo of reiatsu appeared around her. When they moved, Haru moved to kill, and Takumi followed right behind, cutting down anything she missed. The hollow fell soundlessly and disintegrated. Only the blood decorating their weapons remained. Haru shifted her weight again and whirled around to drive her sword through another, slicing past Takumi as he jabbed one that nearly took off her arm. After that, it was one continuous chain of movement. She moved to cut down another, but a spark leapt to it and touched five more around it. Haru paused and looked to Miyake, who smiled and bowed his head before slamming his lance against the ground. "Tenka!" The blaze made her withdraw, covering her face with her arm and watching as the fire spread. Then, just as quickly, it fizzled out. Takumi killed the three hollow that were approaching in one swing. One by one, they fell, and a familiar tune arose around her in that moment, one that neither Takumi nor Miyake could hear.

It was the tune of battle, and together, they navigated its arrhythmic, atonal melody. Takumi and Haru covered while Miyake prepared another attack. After two long, motionless days, Haru was happy for the movement, but she could already feel herself slipping. As she turned and lifted her eyes to the heavens, imploring that the chaos around her was nothing but a fit of madness she had driven herself into, she caught a glimpse of something that made her stop entirely. Her heart jolted in her chest, and the buzz of fear permeated her every limb. Had her eyes deceived her? She wasn't sure, but she was thrust into an abrupt chain of memories that flashed in her head one after the other. All she saw was the past, the pale, lunar glow of his cero as it hovered just inches from her eyes, and all she felt was his blade penetrating her flesh, forcing her against the wall. The eyes, so empty, bearing into her… she couldn't breathe. She couldn't think. All she could do was stand and watch as history repeated itself over and over, as she relived that moment, hovering between life and death, with a blade protruding out of her body and those empty eyes...

What jolted her out was a sharp blow delivered by something blunt. Her back slammed against a wall, and she hunched over, breathing and trying to grab some form of bearings. Once her thoughts began running clearly again, the first thing she noticed was the strange and sudden stillness. Takumi's eye glimmered with bewilderment, and the hollow themselves seemed frozen in indecision. Haru pressed a hand against her head and looked to where she had just been standing. Her eyes widened. "Mi… Miyake-san…" The name passed her lips, or perhaps it passed through her psyche so loudly that it seemed as if she had said it and her mouth had only moved. The hollow clamped on his arm tightened its grip until he gave a cry of pain that could only mean surrender. A uniform roar of delight arose among them, and those that remained rushed forward to devour the three stunned shinigami.

Haru felt something inside of her snap as her will to restrain herself ran out. She reappeared by Miyake and crossed her blades, then cut through the hollow gripping his arm. _I won't... _A silver fire blazed from her zanpakutoh and devoured the cero behind her. _I won't... _Haru dodged a scythe-like claw and killed the hollow wielding it, then slid to a stop and shouted to the heavens. "I won't let anyone else die for me!" Her reiatsu gave a wild flicker as the silver flame in her eyes sprang to life. She sagged forward for an instant, her hands gripping her weapons so tightly that blood dripped from her palms and her arms trembled. "Takumi..." Her breath was ragged and unsteady, rising as steam on the air. He swallowed and parted his lips slightly. "Look after him."

"Taichou..."

"I can take care of this."

"That doesn't mean you should!" Her eyes flitted to his, and he choked on the breath he was taking. The smile on her face was gentle and accepting. She spread her arms to embrace the inevitable and lurched forward. When she moved, her movements were nothing more than a determined chain of casualties that Takumi could only watch, at least until he remembered what she had asked him to do.

"Miyake," he said, bolting forward and preventing Miyake from standing.

"Let me go," he managed, gritting his teeth and gripping his sword with his uninjured arm. "I can still fight."

"Come on," Takumi said in a reasonable tone. "Even a blind man could see you can't not with your arm like that." He knelt next to Miyake, watching as he struggled to his knees and began shifting to his feet. Takumi made no move to stop him. He didn't need to. Before he could, Miyake hunched over and gave a rattling cough. The perfect white below him was stained with a crimson splatter when he sat up and gave Takumi a pitiful smile. Befuddled, the vice-captain looked lower and found the wound that had summoned that defeated cry. Miyake clutched a stab wound in his side with his injured arm. Blood from both was already dripping off of the sleeve of his uniform. He hunched over and coughed again, this time for longer, then gave Takumi another pitiful glimpse.

"You... can see the future, right?"

"Damn it, what kind of question is that at a time like this?"

"Am I... going to die?" Takumi jolted, and suddenly, he understood. Haru had seen that injury and snapped. He swallowed and pressed a hand against his left eye.

"That's not how this power works unfortunately." Takumi shut his eyes and bowed his head, trying to shut out the sound of killing around him. "So, I guess it will be a surprise for both of us." Miyake gave a weak laugh and lost his balance, but Takumi caught him and lowered him slowly to the ground. He didn't have to think; his captain had the hollow covered, so for now, he set his zanpakutoh aside and extended both his hands. The faint, healing glow of medicinal kidou poured off of them and into the wound. "Hey... Fujiwara-fukutaichou."

"What is it?"

"What exactly... is Yamashita-taichou?" Takumi gave him a questioning look. "I mean... she's... strong, for sure. But, at times, I think she's... not the shinigami she claims to be." He smiled at Miyake's comment, but the smile faded when another mouthful of blood surfaced.

"Don't say anything else," Takumi ordered.

"And you..." His eye widened slightly. "You... your zanpakutoh doesn't... seem like a demon at all. No... yours... and Yamashita-taichou's, too... are... both..." Miyake didn't finish before he slipped out of consciousness. He didn't need to. The final word, though left unspoken, shook Takumi's consciousness. _Gods. _He shut his eye and pulled away, lifting his weapon calmly and listening to the rings rattle in the restless breeze.

_It's true. _He slid the blade against the left side of his face and pulled the eye patch away. _It's true. Deep down, we're both the same. But until that day comes... _The fabric drifted into the snow and rested on Miyake's weapon, now reverted to its unreleased state. Takumi's eye drifted shut, and he breathed a sigh as he felt the air shift around him. _Until then, not a soul will know. _Both of his eyes appeared, and he shot forward, cutting down the hollow that was about to cut Haru's arm and ducking below the point of her Seele. Their eyes met for an instant, an understanding passed between them. Then, they continued moving, cutting everything around them. At one point, Haru nearly slipped and cut Takumi down, but he had already turned his crimson eye towards her. Their reiatsu flickered sporadically as they cut down the remaining hollow with a preciseness and an efficiency that would have sickened them both had they been in their right minds. Haru slashed several and stepped onto the edge of a building, using kagehi to burn them all, while Takumi's sekaishibou killed several hollow with similar composition. Before one could cut him from behind, Haru stretched out a hand and pointed. "Hadou no yon: byakurai." It died with its mouth half-opened and without tasting Takumi's blood.

The wind shifted, and Takumi's pupil narrowed. He flashed downwards to protect the motionless Miyake with his own body, but before anything could touch him, Haru had thrust the seele into its body and raised her zanpakutoh, summoning a stream of crimson flames. "Seishinahi!" Takumi grabbed Miyake as gently as he could and staggered. The fight was getting to him, and his own reiatsu had been depleted by his efforts to close the wound. He turned back to Haru, whose eyes showed no sign of perceiving them, and watched as she drew her arm back. "Houkai..."

"Matte, taichou!"

"...danketsu." Takumi shut his eyes and waited. He heard the fire crash around him, but he didn't feel its burn. Slowly, he dared to open his eyes. Then, he saw that she had bent her flames around them. With a gasp, he dropped to his knees, forgetting to be careful with Miyake as his own fear washed over him. A moment later, the flames dissipated, and Haru appeared in a crouch beside him with a flick of her Seele, which she had retrieved on the way down. The remnants of a few white embers clung here and there, but even they faded. The wind fell still, and Takumi took a cursory look around him to make sure all of the hollow were dead. When he found none, he nearly sobbed in relief.

"Kuso…" He gave a nervous laugh. "I seriously thought you'd lost it, taichou."

"Nani?" she asked, rising to a standing position.

"You looked like you were going to kill us all with that last attack."

"It is rather flashy." Haru looked at her reflection in her sword, and her eyes sank shut. "If I left that impression, I apologize."

"Iie..." Takumi pressed a hand over his left eye. "It was my fault for assuming." He glanced down at Miyake again. "Damn... what a mess."

"Let me help you."

"Taichou..."

"Please." He sighed and nodded, and she joined him in a kneel. After pushing Miyake onto his back, Takumi checked for a pulse. Having found one, he began applying medicinal kidou, and Haru did her best to mimic his actions, her eyes filled with tears that took no time at all to leap free.

"Why don't you let me do this, taichou? You just spent two days resting. I don't want you to push yourself."

"Iie," she said, raising her palms again. He couldn't ignore the blood on one of them. "It's fine. I need to push myself." Takumi lifted his eyes to her. There were a lot of unspoken reasons lanced in her words. Ignis solus, her own pride, but there was something else, too, something that he couldn't identify no matter how long he tried. "Takumi."

"Hai?" he said, startled by her voice.

"I... have a bad feeling." She whispered it. "I know Miyake-san wound up like this, and I know I said it earlier, but don't you think this seemed a little too easy?" Takumi's eyes met hers, and the same thought passed between them. In an instant, Haru rose, sheathing both of her weapons and turning on her heal.

"Yamashita-taichou!" Takumi shouted, watching her stumble but regain her footing. "Watch out for—" But it was too late. She ran right into Byakuya, who staggered backwards but kept his balance and who retained enough poise to wrap a hand around her wrist and pull her into a standing position. He retained a grasp on her wrist, examining the state of her hands and the wildness in her eyes before releasing her. Haru stared at him for a moment.

"Go," he said. "I will see you at the fourth division." Then, with a slight bow of apology, she flashed out of sight. Byakuya followed her with her eyes until she was out of sight. She only just managed to move around Renji, who flattened himself against a wall to avoid a sprinting Haru.

"The hell's gotten into her?" Byakuya said nothing. He simply gazed at Miyake for a moment.

"Follow her," he said firmly. "I don't want her doing anything reckless." Byakuya watched after Haru for a moment, then turned away. "I will help Fujiwara tend to Miyake-san until the fourth division gets here."

"You sure?"

"I am more proficient in kidou." With his captain's affirmation, Renji turned and darted after her. It didn't take him long to catch up. She had paused to catch her breath and was leaning against a wall, pressing one hand over her eyes and flexing the other repeatedly as if to confirm that she had feeling in it. Without thinking, he reached out to touch her shoulder. In an instant, Haru whirled to him, pressing the blade of her zanpakutoh against his throat and revealing eyes that were ready to give death and to receive it, eyes that feared nothing save the uncertain. Renji froze and held up his hands.

"Whoa, whoa... take it easy, Yamashita-taichou. It's only me." She gave him a longer look, this one suspicious, and sighed, lowering her weapon and pressing her hand against her face.

"Sorry. I haven't been in my right mind lately."

"Kuchiki-taichou mentioned you weren't yourself. Anything going on that I should know about?" She scoffed at his directness and whirled away, putting her weight on her back foot and disappearing. "Oi!" He shouted, flashing after her. "Where the hell you rushing off to? Oi!" No matter how many times he called, Haru never gave an answer. It only came as he followed him to the fifth division headquarters. He saw her disappear into the building just in time. "Damn it... what the hell's the matter? Not like anything important's in there right now." He let himself in and didn't even bother removing his footwear, rounding the corner to see Haru standing in the door frame. He couldn't see her expression until she staggered backwards with her hand pressed over her mouth and her eyes frozen wide open. "Yamashita-taichou, what the hell..." He rounded the corner and immediately recoiled. The hand he had set on the door was careless; it was sticky with blood. The only sound was the sound of Haru's breathing, careful and controlled but so close to falling apart. Renji couldn't speak; he couldn't cry out. He could only stare at her ransacked office, count the sword scars on the furniture, the walls, and the floor, and trace the trail of blood to the heap that had once been Hinamori, who lay hugging her wounded abdomen and staring vacantly towards the door, a trickle of tears pouring from her eyes and a trace of blood emerging from her lips. Renji pressed his hand against his eyes and looked away, but the haunting imagine was still there.

"Hajime." Haru said it with a quivering voice, and Renji jolted out of his grief for a moment. "Get Hajime. Now." She threw her teary eyes to him, not caring how weak or desperate she appeared. "Why are you still standing there? Do you want her to die? I told you to go get Shimori Hajime of the fourth division, damn it!" Renji hesitated. He had his orders from his captain, and he wanted to fulfill them. "Go!" she shouted, turning her gaze to Renji. They were the eyes of someone who despised reality, who despised her own inadequacy, who despised the bloody scene in her office, and yet she still maintained enough professionalism despite her own shock to give orders in the voice of reason. He didn't ask what her motives were or why she asked for him specifically. He simply turned on his heel and raced forward even as the lurch in his gut told him it was a bad idea.

Once he was gone, Haru forced herself to stand and took unsteady steps forward, walking through the blood and crouching down near her sanseki, checking the faint pulse, listening to the near-silent, shallow breaths, and finally slamming her hand against the wall. "Damn it," she said quietly as her fist fell. A drop of blood from her split knuckle joined the tears, and she drew a slow breath. Her eyes grew placid, and she walked around Hinamori, checking every surface of the desk, the cushions of the sofa, the now empty cabinet in the corner. The contents of both the cabinet and the desk were strewn about on the floor. Aside from some documents and some unfiled forms, all she found was a coin someone had left by mistake and her miraculously in-tact glasses. Futility rose up inside of her, and she sank into her chair. "Damn..." Her oath came only as the slightest breath even though her insides were screaming in agony. She slammed both of her fists down on the desk and prepared to vent her full frustration to the quiet, but she paused and threw her furious eyes downward. Curious, she glanced to the left drawer, where the noise seemed to have come from. After a moment, she found the reason. It had a false bottom that the intruder had somehow overlooked, and underneath was the journal safe and sound with the loose sheets of paper tucked safely between them.

Haru imagined it happening all so clearly. At the cost of her well-being, Hinamori had collected them and hidden them. The entry was forced, so she must have used some high-level bakudou to keep the intruder out, at least for a while.

She had suffered, all for the sake of preserving the truth.

Haru let out a difficult sigh and slid her glasses on, setting the volume on the scarred desktop, her deliberate steps echoing across the room. She knelt down on the cleanest spot of floor she could find and stared at her motionless third seat for a moment, weighing her options. In the end, her mind came back to the only thing that made sense. _It doesn't matter, _she thought, folding the quincy cross in her hands and bowing her head in prayer. _It doesn't matter anymore. _The reiatsu inside of her shifted until it burned around her. _I may be despised by everyone I know for it. It may be exactly what Aizen wants, demo... _Her eyes slid open and focused on Hinamori. _A secret can only go so far until it starts hurting people. _Haru lowered her hands and tilted her palms towards Hinamori's wounds. _I can't let it end like this. I don't care what it costs me. This is the only will I have, the only one I have ever had. Save this life, and save me, so that when I am called to protect it again, I may prove myself competent enough to stand and do so._

The last things Haru heard before the room went black were the shattering of glass, her own body hitting the floor, and the sound of a door sliding open.

* * *

><p>There were a lot of things going through Haru's mind as she drifted back to consciousness. The first was where she was. The second was how she got there. The third came out of her lips. "It's my fault." She heard the sound of her own voice and opened her eyes, peering at the shadow above her and waiting for her vision to clear. She blinked twice before she finally recognized him. "Hajime." He stopped what he was doing and looked down at her for a moment. She closed her fingers and tried to sit up, but her head gave an unpleasant whirl, and she pressed her hand to it immediately. Even then, it wasn't enough to keep her from tipping. Hajime caught her and held her steady for a moment, then backed away when he was sure she had regained her bearings.<p>

"Don't make any sudden movements right now, okay?" Haru looked up at him again and nodded in acquiescence before returning her eyes to her lap. She was still in her captain's uniform, and other than the bandage wrapped around her split knuckle, he hadn't done anything else. Haru nearly felt the frustration radiating off of him, but she said nothing for a few moments. She simply thought things over and kept her eyes on either her own hands or the window. "Can you see alright? You broke your glasses." Haru peered up at him and nodded. "I grabbed this for you," he added, waving the journal above her head. Haru reached up and wrapped her fingers around it, curling around it for a moment, then sliding it inside of her haori.

"How long was I out for?"

"Almost an hour."

"That's not long." She shut her eyes and pressed a hand to her head. "Did you carry me here?"

"I had to, yes."

"Arigatou," she murmured. Hajime looked to her, found that her eyes were on his face, and found that the minute he glanced back, they darted away. He heaved a sigh and seated himself on the edge of the bed, facing away from her.

"I know what you did." She flinched slightly. "I also know why you did it." Hajime folded his hands. "But it was stupid. The word 'reckless' doesn't even cover it. You played right into his hand, and knowingly at that."

"Perhaps."

"There isn't any 'perhaps' about it. I know these things, Yamashita-taichou." He shifted slightly and glanced back at her, a smile darting through his eyes. "Want me to lie for you?"

"Eh?" she stammered.

"I can make up some excuse to explain things. The broken window, your shattered glasses, Hinamori-san's miraculous recovery..." He paused, not knowing whether or not he should go on. "No one is supposed to know, so it only seems natural."

"Let me do it, then."

"Iie," he answered. "They've come to expect evasion from you. If I feed them a lie, though, they'll believe it since they've come to expect the truth from me." A smile touched his lips, and Haru dropped her eyes again. "You and Takumi are the same. He's just as foolish, if not more so."

"Why did he yank off his eye patch in the middle of a fight?"

"Because the instant you lost it, he stopped being able to read you." Haru swallowed and bowed her head slightly. "But then, that's his matter to explain to you, not mine." He got up and crossed the room. "I'll send him in, Haru." The name sounded strange in his mouth, but she said nothing to correct him. "You know, you two should just be honest with each other. Tell him the truth, at least."

"Not even Byakuya-sama knows about the hougyoku," she answered darkly. "And neither should you." He accepted the words without a flinch even though they cut him. "Tell me something before you go. How are... they?" He set his hand on the door and paused.

"Miyake-san is stable. He should be fine in a few days."

"And... Momo-san?"

"Still sleeping, but she'll be up before nightfall." Hajime watched Haru's eyes cloud from across the room. "Is there anything else?"

"That will do, Hajime." She drew her knees up and buried her face in them, and as Hajime shut the door, she let out the slightest noise, either a laugh or a sob, to express the relief he saw sweep over her. After shaking his head, he descended the stairs and entered amid the crowd the recent hollow attack had brought: two captains and two-vice captains waiting in silence for his return.

"I'm finished."

"And?" Byakuya said impatiently.

"And they'll all be fine." Takumi raised his head in disbelief. "That's right. Even Hinamori-san. She's healing at an unusually fast rate, probably thanks to Yamashita-taichou's interference." He chose the word and watched their faces but caught no sight of any suspicion. "Still, there's no way of telling the true cause of it. Not even Unohana-taichou could explain it. It's nothing short of a miracle, really." Takumi's shoulders gave a slight quiver, and Hitsugaya sighed in relief. "I'll let her have visitors later if she's up to it, but that should be Unohana-taichou's call since she was taking care of Hinamori-san personally. As for Yamashita-taichou, you can see her when you like, only..."

"Only?" Renji asked.

"She wanted a word with Takumi first." Takumi raised his head, his desolate and only visible eye flickering. He had covered the other before coming to the division, but it still felt irritated for some reason. He slid off of the arm of a sofa and crossed the room with steady steps. He couldn't bear to leave the room still, not after what had just happened. As he passed Hajime, he couldn't help but feel that twinge in his left eye again. With a low growl, he covered it, pausing until it passed, but before he could proceed, Hajime touched his shoulder.

"Miyake Akihiko is only alive because of you. Next time you look in the mirror and doubt yourself, think of that." Takumi peered at him for a moment, and Hajime lowered his voice. "Takumi, I'm still certain Yamashita-taichou has something to do with it. Look into it for me, will you? If she's hiding some proficiency in medicinal kidou, I would be interested in knowing it."

"Ask her yourself," Takumi stated in a more antagonistic tone than he had intended. Hajime's grip on his shoulder tightened, and he smiled in a way that didn't suit him.

"That's just like you to protect her."

"Why are you so interested in her?"

"That's for me to know, isn't it?" Takumi peered at him. "Don't worry. I'll try not to stick my nose where it doesn't belong."

"Don't stick it anywhere," he answered. "She'll tell you when she's good and ready. Same goes with everyone else." This conversation passed without anyone noticing it and ended with Hajime patting Takumi's shoulder as if to commend him for surviving, adding another smile and then calmly slipping away. He thought it was odd, but he was so rattled from Hajime's prying that he really didn't take much notice of it. Still, he felt he had gotten his message across and so disappeared down the hallway, followed by a drove of inquiries. In the end, only one really lingered. _Taichou, what did you do? _He couldn't look. Every time he tried, his hidden eye twitched in rebellion, and he saw only darkness.

He wasn't sure he was ready to see her, but he knocked on her door anyway. "Taichou, I'm coming in," he said as he pushed the door open. Haru was hunched over, peering into her knees, but when she heard his voice, she raised her eyes. They were clear but pensive, a faded and mute shade of wisteria obscured by an impenetrable layer of silver… or was it something else? He didn't know and it didn't matter. He was just glad to see her conscious. She waited until he closed the door and swung her legs off of the bed.

"You used your eye."

"Come again?"

"To kill the hollow, I mean." Takumi didn't deny it. He simply scoffed and bowed his head.

"What difference does it make?" A new expression crept over her face. It was a smile, but a difficult one, fragile and unrelenting like time.

"I'm afraid we've both gone and acted recklessly, using power that we should reserve only for special cases, and now, we're more of a danger to Soul Society than ever."

"How do you figure that?"

"There was an espada there," Haru stated. "He saw your eye and he's got some kind of optic power that lets him share it with everyone else." She paused and turned her gaze towards the window. "We need to decide what to do."

"What do you mean?" Takumi didn't like her tone, and even if her expression remained the same, it bore invisible marks of strain.

"The way we are now, we're more of a threat than an asset. Aizen will send hollow to seek us out and destroy his power."

"Not for another two weeks, he won't."

"When that day comes, I don't want to be here."

"Taichou—"

"Two people almost died because of me today," she said calmly, folding her arms behind her back and turning her entire body to face the window. "And only at the cost of my own secret could I save Momo-san." Her eyes flickered with a recent memory, and she sighed. "Come clean, Takumi... I know about your eye, but you're hiding something else."

"That coming from you?" He laughed. "With all due respect, Yamashita-taichou, I let you keep your secrets. You should let me keep mine."

"Fine. I'll tell you, since Aizen probably knows by now anyway. But first..." She turned to him. "What did Hajime say?"

"Some cock-and-bull suspicion that you're hiding some grossly proficient medicinal kidou."

"He's wrong about the kidou, but he's right about the hiding. It wasn't kidou that saved Momo-san." She paused and sighed, then swallowed because saying it was difficult. Still, she had gone that far and had no desire to hesitate any longer than she had with him. "It was a wish," she said at last.

"A wish."

"'Tell me your desire...' It's always saying that, so I finally listened." She smiled and stared at her hands.

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying I used the hougyoku." Takumi's eye flew open, and his breath stilled. "Surprised?"

"How?" Haru shook her head to signal that she didn't know, and he digested the information, only vaguely aware of how she suddenly looked at him. "Why?"

"Because she's important to you," Haru answered, turning her back to the window and leaning against the sill. "Because I consider her my friend. Because I couldn't stand to see anyone else die. There isn't just one reason." Haru bowed her head slightly and peered to the other side of the room. "Now that I've been honest with you, perhaps you wouldn't mind telling me something."

"Yeah?"

"You released your shikai without the summoning." Takumi's eye flickered as he glanced away. She smiled in her usual way, folding her arms in a satisfied manner. "I see... you've already seized more power than I originally thought."

"You're wrong!" He insisted it with such vigor that Haru glanced up at him. "You're wrong..." His voice trailed off as he repeated himself, and he shifted slightly.

"Takumi," Haru murmured. "What are you afraid of?" He clenched his fist and swallowed, able to do nothing more. "Some people say fear makes a fool. I say fear isn't a sign of stupidity. It's an intelligence we learn and feel when we face something that could hurt us." Her steps crossed the room. "Uncertainty..." She took another step. "An enemy in battle..." Takumi's eyes followed her shadow. He didn't dare look at her. "The possibility that our own powers could perhaps destroy us." She set a hand on Takumi's shoulder, and he peered up at her. As she spoke, something strange gleamed in her eyes. "Yet for all of that fear, I wouldn't trade Suzaku for anything in the world, or ignis solus, or any power she has led me to." She lowered her head. "I want to see it."

"Huh?"

"Your bankai." Haru's eyes glimmered again, and she imagined the wind shifting. Her hand slid off of his shoulder and she paced towards the door. "You have a decision to make. You either hide from what your own power can do, or you face it head on and charge forward in spite of everything."

"Yamashita-taichou..."

She slid the door open. "I'm leaving." He caught her double-meaning and darted after her.

"When?'

"Soon," she answered.

"Why?"

"Because I can't stand still any longer than I have." Haru paced down the stairs with Takumi on her heels. As she descended, she felt far too many eyes on her, but she never once faltered. She simply paced forward as if they didn't exist, fixed on her own task, her mouth a firm line.

"Oi... Yamashita-taichou! Matte! You haven't been discharged yet!" By then, only Byakuya was left waiting. He followed her with even steps, glancing at Hajime as he passed. Something in his look seemed offended, and the fact that he didn't speak only made him seem more so. He simply gave a slight nod to Hajime, as if to thank him for taking care of things for them. He watched them go, shaking his head and running a hand through his hair. "I swear..." Even as he said it, he smiled. "She's something else, eh, Takumi?"

* * *

><p>Haru shut the world out as she walked, directing all of her focus to her insides. She felt alive and refreshed after the incident with the hollow, but at the same time, she felt haunted by everything that had happened, by all of the cover blown. She imagined someone calling her name, but she ignored it, at least until Byakuya seized her wrist and pulled her backwards. "Haru-kun." She heard herself gasping for breath for the first time and shuttered slightly as the fingers around her wrist loosened. "Where are you going?" Whatever force drove her forward suddenly disappeared. She turned on her heel and fell against his shoulder, her eyes sinking shut.<p>

"I don't know." Byakuya pressed her back and felt her forehead.

"You look pale. Are you alright?" Haru didn't answer. She simply slid out of his grasp and fell against him again, clutching his haori with enough force to keep him from saying anything.

"I'm sorry. I..." She lowered her head slightly. "I broke them. The glasses, I mean." Byakuya remained silent. "I got carried away saving Hinamori-san, and... they just sort of shattered right before I lost consciousness. I... I know they were important to you. They were the only thing of mine I ever really let you have."

"Haru-kun." She glanced up at him. "You are mistaken. You do not need to apologize. Besides, I am amazed and overjoyed that you are not broken yourself." He allowed himself the luxury of running two fingers along the side of her face, then let his hand drop. "I am not entirely sure what you did in there, but I do know it caused quite a stir."

"Did it, now?"

"The twelfth division is in an uproar. You messed up some of their instruments." She laughed and scratched the side of her face. "That aside, you have puzzled four captains with your incredible capability to heal. If you weren't a captain yourself, Unohana would have you as her subordinate in half a heartbeat." Haru nodded and shifted, touching the diary tucked next to her heart and pulling it out. She stopped walking to gaze at it, ignoring the fact that Byakuya had drifted a short distance away. "Haru-kun?"

"For this." Haru sighed and bowed her head. "Momo-san almost... died for this." She held the book close to her. "This is the only way I'll ever hear my mother's voice again. It's been so long since I've thought about it, but... I never really got over losing that. Right after it happened, I used to wake up in the middle of the night, thinking I heard her voice, but when I remembered what had happened, I could only cry to the darkness that surrounded me." Byakuya appeared behind her and gently wound his arms around her shoulders. She sighed and shut her eyes. "Why?" Byakuya looked down at her. "Why would someone go so far for just this?"

"Because..." His voice dropped to a whisper. "You're her captain." Haru shut her eyes.

"That's frightening."

"What?"

"If she goes that far for me just because I'm her captain, how far would she go for Takumi? Or, an even more frightening question, because I'd go that far for her... how far would I go for you?" Byakuya's arms loosened, and she turned to face him. She jolted as his fingers brushed against her face, but she didn't resist as he leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers.

"Go as far as you can," he murmured, sliding his fingers along her face. "But not for me. Do it for yourself." Haru wondered if her face was red because of the cold or because his fingers had that inexplicable ability to change its color. In either case, even as he slipped away and wrapped the same hand around her wrist, pulling her forward gently until she stepped up behind him, she could only shut her eyes and be grateful.

* * *

><p>Woo hoo! One more chapter posted! I hope you enjoyed it. Please also enjoy this complementary Japanese lesson with my translator's notes (? I don't know what else to call them. They're more like parenthetical rants than they are functional tidbits of information, but for now, that's what I'm going to go with).<p>

Hai: Yes

Demo: But

Arigatou: Thanks (Random side note: I've actually been Romanizing it wrong for about 5 years... _ If I ever feel motivated, I'll go back and fix it. Also, did you ever wonder who decided how things were going to be Romanized? I mean... come on... Japanese doesn't have an alphabet. It has a syllabry, which is slightly different. At least I didn't throw in a random x at the end like French does with almost every word ever... [I hope I haven't offended anyone who likes French, but I see no point of all the silent letters, and they drive me absolutely crazy. If I ever study French, maybe I'll learn that they have a purpose. For now, I'm sticking to Spanish and Japanese, arigato gracaimasu.]).

Oyahogozaimasu: Good morning, the formal edition.

Ohayo: Good morning, the casual edition.

Nani: What

Hai: Yes

Kuso: A Japanese swear word. Because I'm beginning to think no chapter is complete without it.

Nandesuka: What is it

Yare, yare: Well, well

Matte: Wait

Iie: No

Kaminarikuro: Arata Miyake's zanpakutoh. It takes the appearance of a lance and possesses traits of both a lightning-type and fire-type zanpakutoh. Thus far, its only known attack is Seitekihibana (static spark), a two-part attack that consists of generating electricity that jumps from hollow to hollow in a small area. The command "tenka" (ignition) causes the electricity to discharge. Enemies touched by the attack are incinerated by the resulting flames. (Random side note 2: Man... I really need to stop making characters. XD)

My hope is that my readers enjoyed this chapter. The next one, like this one, will be up shortly. I'll keep editing my ass off to delay work. Thanks again for reading, and until next chapter~


	16. Chapter 16: Dissent

A/N: I am a little less alive than I first thought, but a little less dead than I expected! Sorry for the delay, everyone! I've been experiencing all sorts of odd things here. I think I've lost a lot of my fan base because of my continual absence(s), and that makes me really sad. Unfortunately, I can't just sit around and write fanfiction. I have to feed myself, and at least make an attempt at getting something published. So, I'm working on short stories and the like in the hopes that they will earn me some recognition beyond the internet.

That aside, I have missed everyone! Rest assured, I have been sandbagging some chapters for a while. This one, I probably finished in December or January... oops. I'm going on a posting frenzy, so expect at least one more after this one today.

To everyone who has been waiting patiently and begging me for the next chapter, thank you! I'm sorry I worried you. I know I say this a lot, but I still intend to finish this story. It's just taking me a while. Even if it's just fanfiction, I want it to be "good." Maybe not "great," because I'm really not sure what great writing looks like, but I'm going to do my best to uphold the quality of my writing throughout the remainder of the story. Hopefully, the plot doesn't piss anyone off. *ehe*

A special thanks to my reviewers: Almathia, Juliedoo, peanutbutterthedog, and animelover36548. Thanks also to Almathia for her lovely PMs about the Bleach manga (i.e. KUBO TITE, YOU TROLL SLASH IDEA STEALER and such), and to two guests who posted in KTH and encouraged me to continue, Bleach girl and Aray. Hugs to you all, and please enjoy the chapter!

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 16: Dissent<em>

"Gone?" The word fell incredulously from Genryuusai's lips. "What do you mean gone?"

"Precisely what I said," Byakuya answered, his stoic mask cracked slightly with the same disgruntled note in his voice. "Haru-kun is gone." The knowledge sank in one captain at a time. Subtle nuances of expression changed, but no one said anything. "She didn't say why," he continued. "She tried to sneak out, but I woke up before she could leave." He remembered it clearly, that shock of rolling over early in the morning and finding his bed empty, then jolting up and finding Haru half-dressed in her shihakusho, her eyes wide with surprise and her breathing suddenly cut off. He could see it in the darkness, that futile smile.

"Will you let me get nothing past you?" Byakuya had relaxed a bit, lowered his eyes. "I promise I'll be back."

"When?"

"When I feel ready." Haru finished tying her obi and straightened with a sigh. "It's not often things go the way we planned. Still, I'd hoped I would get lucky this morning."

"Haru-kun—"

"Don't ask me where or why," she interrupted, flipping her hair out of her captain's haori and turning away. "I'm afraid it's not for your ears, Byakuya-sama." As she turned to slip away, he grabbed her arm and pulled her back, and she turned around to give him an incredulous glance.

"Do you know what you're doing?" She smiled and shook her head. "Then do you at least know why?" Haru's eyes glimmered, and she leaned forward until her mouth was next to his ear.

"I never do anything without knowing why." She pulled away and glanced downward, studying his hands for a moment, then glancing up at him. He couldn't shake the feeling that her look was one that she knew he would never see again. "Ittekimasu."

"Itterasshai." The minute she left, the darkness became daunting, and he had thought of all the nights he spent alone. But today was just another day in his life as a captain of the Gotei 13. Wherever she was, his position required him to keep moving forward.

"At least she had the decency to give me a definite answer about that date before she left," Hitsugaya murmured.

"She has an estimate?" Komamura asked.

"Even better. She knows the exact day beyond a shadow of a doubt."

"She did not mention that," Byakuya stated.

"Probably because she doesn't want anyone knowing how she knows, or at least, that's what I think. She's been acting strange ever since she told me she had an idea of the date. I don't know her as well as Kuchiki-taichou, but I've worked with her long enough to notice her mannerisms."

"Could it just be another one of her secrets?" Kyouraku asked.

"Another secret?" Mayuri demanded. "She's so full of them, I hardly think it worthwhile to trust her any more than we have. I could drag her back in less than half an hour."

"You will leave her be," Byakuya said. "As to your doubts, as far as I can see, they are unjustified and held only by you. Unless... anyone else feels the same." An unsettling silence crept over the room, much like the one Haru left in her wake.

"To be honest, I've been suspicious of her for a while," Soi Fon confessed. "I just never really felt the need to say anything. If she steps out of line, though..." Hitsugaya's jaded eyes shot to her in a heartbeat. Then, he shook his head and turned on his heel.

"Hitsugaya-taichou, where are you going?" Genryuusai spoke expecting the captain to speak level-headedly, or perhaps speak vehemently, but he simply gave them a glance and continued walking after giving four simple words.

"I need some air." Underneath his words, Genryuusai read the other four words he wanted to say but kept bottled inside for professionalism's sake. His eyes spoke clearly, and he breathed the words as he left the room, too quiet for anyone but Komamura to hear. "You are all idiots." Of course, they had every reason not to listen to him. He was young and inexperienced just like her. It wasn't like he could explain why he had unshakable faith in her despite everything. He simply knew with one glance that she knew her motives well enough not to question herself, and he wondered why anyone should be any different.

* * *

><p><em>Take it... <em>The words echoed through Haru's mind, but her eyes were firmly pressed shut, even inside of herself. _You know you will eventually succumb. Just take it. Take it now. _She felt those syllables assail her from every side, but she only clenched her eyes tighter and pressed her hands over her ears. _Take it... _She heard other words deep in her soul. She felt a wash of desire sweep over her, but before it could entirely take hold, she did the only thing she could do. She escaped.

She sat bolt upright, a cold sweat coating her forehead, her hands quivering incessantly, and the light of day before her eyes. She tasted a scream on her lips and wiped her face. Sweat and tears coated her hands. She trembled and pressed them over her eyes, wiping them dry and glancing around the room. Once her vision cleared, she knew not everything had been a dream.

They had left in the dead of night, both of them, under a moon shaped like a sinister grin. They both ran from their power and towards their power. They left the ones they loved behind, some with words, others with silence. They ran, and where there footsteps took them, only they knew.

"Taichou." She glanced into her vice captain's face and wiped her eyes with redoubled effort. "Taichou..." He set a hand on her head and gave her a difficult smile. "It's okay to cry. I'll even let you borrow my shoulder if you'd like."

"No, it's fine..." She hastily dried her eyes, but the tears kept pouring from them. "I'm alright. Really."

"Your voice says you are," Takumi stated, smiling as he offered her a tissue. "But your eyes say you've got a hell of a lot more on your mind than what you've already mentioned." She nodded slightly and took it, hastily wiping her face. "It's okay. Just tell me when you're ready." In truth, Haru was nothing but thoughts in that moment. Her eyes grew distant as her hands fell, and she peered out the window.

She couldn't remember their entire journey, but she did remember Takumi asking, "Where are we going?" She hadn't said, and when they arrived, he didn't question. He simply nodded in understanding and let the maid show them in to adjacent rooms, then shut the door with a quiet good-night. Then, she remembered sitting alone in that room with her thoughts of everything. Of the hougyoku, of ignis solus, of Byakuya, and, most hauntingly, of Hajime.

Hajime.

"Did you tell Hajime we were leaving?"

"Eh? What brought that on?" Takumi asked.

"Just... curious. I know he's your best friend."

"He was." Haru flinched and glanced up at him. "We've grown pretty far apart. I didn't notice it until a few days ago after we fought those hollow."

"Why then?"

"Because that was the first time in my life that I ever felt like he wasn't telling me something." Haru glanced at him. "We've told each other everything since the first day. If I had a plan, I'd fess up in a heartbeat, and he'd keep quiet or join me. We caused some mischief in our school days, the two of us. The only reason we didn't get thrown out was because he was good at healing and I was good at killing hollow." Takumi drew a knee up and looked towards the window. "Be careful, taichou. I used to trust him, but now... I don't know. I can't see what it is, but something in him has changed, almost like something he saw or did or learned... altered him." She sat with her jaw set rigidly and her eyes fixed on the window. "Do you know something, taichou?" Haru turned to him with an offended look. "I don't mean to pry. I just..." Haru threw the covers off and walked across the room, loosening her sleeping yukata and throwing it to the floor. Fortunately, Takumi knew when to shut his eyes. "Jeez, taichou... if you're going cahnge, at least let me get out."

"Stay where you are, and don't ask me about Hajime again." He heard a strange note in her voice and half turned his head in her direction, but he thought better of it and simply listened to the rustle of her clothing. "Isn't it about time we announced our presence?"

"Eh?"

"Ojii-sama doesn't know we're here yet." He cast an eye over his shoulder, watching her shadow as it moved across the room, listening to her tie her sash. "I told that maid not to mention our arrival and that we'd do it ourselves in the morning."

"I can't see why."

"Because Ojii-sama is most approachable after his tea. He always takes one at ten-thirty in the library. If we hurry, we can catch him before he leaves."

"Taichou, I..." Haru whipped past him, and he leapt up, staggering after her and following her down the hall. "Look, I'm sorry if this offends you, but I don't think telling him I came with you is such a good idea."

"He won't touch you. If he tries, I'll kill him."

"Taichou!"

"You're here to train under me," she said. "And I'm here to complete ignis solus. We both have our reasons, and unless I die in the process, he'll have to learn to bear with you." Haru turned to him and bowed low enough for him to feel an uncomfortable sensation stir in his soul.

"What's really going on, taichou?" She didn't answer. She simply turned away again. In her deepest self, Haru knew she couldn't tell a soul the truth of it all. She hardly knew what she was doing, whether she was accepting or rejecting reality, but she at least knew why she was doing it. That certainty carried her down the hallway, around a maid who stepped aside with a gasp and gaped at Takumi as they walked by. "Taichou, please... don't shut me out!" She stopped so abruptly that he ran into her. He stepped back and caught her wrist to keep her from falling, then looked critically at her, but he saw that troubled look in her eyes, that look that went beyond him, and he bowed his head. "I don't know what's going on, but please let me help." Haru felt the fingers on her wrist tighten as he pulled her to her feet.

"I've spent a handful of days picking up the pieces just so I can shatter them again," she murmured, an acrid smile crossing her face. "I'm beginning to think I'm a terrible person."

"That's not true. I mean, you're secretive and stubborn, and you're downright scary sometimes, but I don't think any of those things make you bad. That is to say... we're just collections of moments, really. Good and bad moments. We've all got a little bit of both, and a lot of mediocre ones to till the gaps. That's oversimplifying it, probably. We've got stuff on the inside, too..."

"Takumi." Her calm voice cut him off. "Be quiet for a bit, will you?" He tilted his head and watched as she turned towards the door, knocking gently and then sliding it open. His blood froze when he saw the old man's dull gray eyes peering out at him. The back of his neck prickled, and he straightened out of instinct, but Haru seemed totally relaxed. She simply entered without a word, her steps rustling ever so slightly as she paced across the floor. The old man stared at her incredulously, and his hand gave the slightest quiver. From that distance, Takumi saw the tea ripple as Haru's shadow fell against his.

"Haru-chan? What are you doing here?"

"Mostly training my vice-captain." She jerked her head towards the door. "But something tells me he's got a lot to teach me, too."

"You brought him here?"

"Of course I did. He said he'd follow me, and I wasn't about to leave him in Soul Society. Ojii-sama..." She lowered her voice. "There's something I didn't tell Soul Society that I'm going to tell you now, and you too, Takumi. The hollow attacks... don't you think it's funny that they always seem to happen wherever I am, or whenever I'm close by?" She turned back to Takumi and gazed at him. "Other than that period when Aizen didn't know where I was, the attacks have always happened around me. So, to keep Soul Society safe, I wanted to separate myself from them, and to keep me safe, I brought Takumi with me. So, if anything happens, it will happen where both of us can stop it." She gave him a critical look, and he straightened. "Good. We understand each other."

"Haru-chan!"

"If you need me, I'll be downstairs."

"Hold on a second, Haru-chan! Listen to me!"

"If you say anything about getting rid of Takumi, there is a high possibility that I will crack your skull open." From the look in her eyes, she clearly meant it. "I've got a lot on my mind right now. The only thing I want is to move, to forget about all the chains locking me up inside of myself and live a moment I can never live again. If you deny me that..." She whipped away and bowed her head. "If you deny me that now, then I may as well already be dead." The air between them was uncomfortable. Takumi clenched a fist and averted his eyes, unable to even peer at it without sensing the thick tension drifting between them. "I never asked for that money you gave me. I never asked for your advice. I barely dared to ask for your respect. This is the only time I'm asking you for anything. It's the first, and it will be the last." The sound of her feet falling across the floor only amplified the note of finality. She walked past Takumi without even giving him a glance, and after taking a long look at Haru's grandfather, he darted after her.

"Taichou!"

"Let's get started."

"Demo!"

"Takumi." Her voice was dead calm. "If we don't start now, we might not have another chance."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean we'll more than likely be interrupted. After all, a captain doesn't just leave Soul Society. Even if I told Byakuya-sama why it was important, there are those who could easily guess where I've gone and interrupt our training. In fact, I'm more than certain that those I left behind will undoubtedly turn up by the end of the week." She closed her hand around her sword. For a moment, it was steady. Then, the slightest tremble surfaced. Takumi pressed his lips together. "There are only so many places I could go, and if I'm not in those places, the search will lead here. It's not hard to find me when I'm hiding somewhere I've refused to go so many times in the past. She turned again, and as she walked, he saw the unseen past tearing little holes in her composure, holes so small that she didn't even seem to notice them.

* * *

><p>Takumi's body was in the battle. He defended, attacked, parried, and all but took his captain's head off. His body was there, but his mind...<p>

His mind was back in Soul Society with Hinamori. He wondered what she was doing at that moment and where she was. Under ordinary circumstances, Takumi wouldn't have thought much about it, but this was Hinamori, and what she had told him before he left... the words lingered like a splinter he never wanted to pull out. He went back, back to that slow explanation in her hospital room in the medical ward. At first, they weren't really sure what to say. Takumi tried to smile, but he couldn't stop his composure from cracking. Before it got any farther, he paced slowly forward and rested his head on her shoulder, breathing in deeply and slowly.

"I don't know what's happening," he said at last. "I don't understand... taichou, Hajime, you... I thought I understood. There's a difference between understanding and seeing, though." Takumi felt a pair of fingers race across the hairline on the back of his neck and sighed. "And even if I don't understand, I know what I have to do." He didn't think. He simply moved. He raised his hands to her face and shifted his lips to hers. She didn't protest. She didn't encourage him to go further. She simply let him kiss her. He felt her fingers curl along the hairline on the back of his neck and drew away, leaning forward so their foreheads were touching. "I'm sorry, Momo-san, but I have to follow her."

"I know." She gave him a critical look. "Take care of her, Takumi. That's an order."

"No need to tell me that," he chuckled. Hinamori's brown eyes fell shut as she removed his eye patch and touched his scars. Then, they came.

"Sukidayo." Everything stopped. His breath, his heart, and the world beneath his feet. His head spun. He felt like crying, or fainting—something—but all he did was stand there with his eyes wide open and his mouth gaping. Sure, a lot of girls had liked him in his academy days, liked his light hair and his vivid azure eyes. And they had confessed in their own way, but never with anything like that. His head had reeled, and his mouth had gone completely dry. She shifted awkwardly for a moment, stood on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek, then walked away, leaving him there, paralyzed and alone with the task ahead...

And then, he hit the dirt. He rolled a bit, then remained where he was. There was no point in getting up. He couldn't feel his arms, and even though he was gulping air, it still wasn't enough to stop his head from spinning or clear the sweat from his eyes. From where he laid, he could see Haru studying him, her blades still poised, but she was in almost the same state as him. It was strange to see her dressed that way, in clothes a normal human would wear: a pair of khaki pants, black knee-high boots, and a cerulean, sleeveless collared shirt. Behind her glasses, her eyes flickered and burned. Then, suddenly, her pupils dilated, and she sank to her knees, coughing into her hand so roughly that Takumi darted to her side in an instant, nearly tripping over himself in the process. His hands fell on her shoulders, and she hunched down even further.

"Taichou... taichou!" He wasn't sure what to do. Had he injured her with his bankai? Was it Ignis Solus tightening its grip? Or was it some old wound flaring up? By the time his questions ran out, she finally stopped, now more out of breath than before.

"I'm alright," she managed between breaths. "I'm fine. Just fine." Takumi's visible eye singed her. He jerked her gloved hand away and stared at what was once white fabric. Now, there was a dark red stain there, along with a smear that remained on her lips. He took a slow breath to calm his anger and gave her a pitiful look.

"You call this fine?" he said gently. Haru yanked her hand away and wiped the back of her mouth. "Taichou, I know you're trying to help me, but it's not worth this..."

"Don't you get it?" She picked up her weapons and turned away. "This isn't just for you, Takumi." He trembled slightly as he lifted his unreleased sword from the ground. He watched her back as she moved, saw the readiness in her muscles. "It's for me, too. It's so I can face my own power without having to worry about what will happen if it kills me."

"It won't."

"Don't say things you don't know."

"Oh, I know." Takumi flicked his wrist, and the wind whirled around him. When it became still, he held his hand poised, but there was nothing in it. "You won't let it kill you, not when you have so much to live for." Haru smiled and spread her arms, releasing ignis solus and turning to face her opponent. "You've got something on your mind. Is it Hajime?"

"I could say the same of you." As she turned to him, a smile played on her lips. "But it's not Hajime."

"Why are you suddenly so concerned with him, taichou?"

"Because..." She paused for a moment, as if to consider how much she was now willing to tell him. She gave a slight laugh. "You almost had me telling you things I shouldn't be saying, Takumi. Besides, didn't I tell you not to ask again?" His lips parted slightly at the sadness in her voice, and as she looked at him, he realized it was the same look Hajime had given him on his last night in Soul Society. He had all but dragged Hajime out to go drinking, ignoring his polite refusals and apologies. Hajime only had one or two; he let Takumi do most of the drinking. Takumi couldn't remember what he said, but all of a sudden, Hajime got this look... it was one he had never seen before. It was sad, and strangely lonely. That was how Haru looked at the moment. "It's Hajime's to tell. He'll tell you it's mine, but it's not."

"You're not getting bored with Byakuya, are you?"

"Eh? Why would I do something like that to him?" Haru whirled to Takumi and parted her feet slightly. "Believe me when I say this. The less you try to understand now, the easier it will be for you to accept when he finally decides to quit keeping quiet."

* * *

><p>How many days had she been gone? It hadn't been many, but for Byakuya, it already seemed too long. Just knowing she was alright would have been enough for him. "Oi, taichou..." His eyes snapped to the redhead. "Were you spacing out just now?"<p>

"No," Byakuya answered flatly. "To space out, one must have an empty head. If anyone here has a knack for that, surely, it is you."

"Nani?" Renji demanded. "I'm not that bad."

"Then prove it by doing your paperwork, and do not bother me unless it's something important." Renji flinched at the familiar darkness in Byakuya's eyes. He had ways of showing his anger with silence, and that was one of them.

"Look, I get that you're pissed about Yamashita-taichou leaving. A lot of people are uneasy because of it. But if it's affecting your work, shouldn't you just go find her?"

"If I knew where to look, don't you think I would have found her already?" Byakuya pushed his chair back and paced towards the door.

"Taichou!"

"I need some air." He passed his befuddled vice-captain without a glance. "If you have energy to worry, then direct that energy at your paperwork." Renji sputtered some kind of disagreement, but Byakuya didn't linger to listen. He crept into the cold, walking without really paying attention to where he was walking, and let the winter wind sweep everything away: his thoughts about Haru, his concerns for what was to come, and that nagging feeling that wherever she was, she was probably doing something dangerous.

_Haru-kun... _His brows fell together. _Where are you now, Haru-kun? _In the midst of that thought, something dark crossed his mind. She was in the human world. Aizen's attacks, in addition to following the sequence of her mother's diary, usually happened wherever she was, with the exception of the period when she was presumed dead. That meant that the next attack would happen there, probably near wherever she happened to be. His eyes widened slightly with that realization, and he turned to march back to his office. He was surprised to find he was being studied, but he didn't show it. "Hajime..." He only called the shinigami that because he didn't want to evoke any insufferable memories by uttering the last name his old teacher had given his youngest and dearest pupil. The shinigami gave him a blank look, then smiled. "Your eye." He flinched and touched the bandage over it. "What happened?" His hand lingered on the right side of his face for a moment, then slowly fell.

"Eh? Oh... it's just an infection, nothing major." Hajime pressed his hand against the patch covering it. His face turned solemn, and a secret crept through his smile. "Forgive me for asking, but why are you out here?"

"I needed some time to clear my head." Hajime nodded slightly. "I wasn't planning on seeing anyone."

"I'm on break, and I needed to get out for a bit. And, truthfully, I was planning on seeing you." Hajime strode forward and stopped when there was hardly any space between him and Byakuya. Then, he lowered his voice. "It's only my eye, Kuchiki-taichou, but when your heart is infected, it really cuts your ability to work." Byakuya's eyes widened slightly. "Forgive my boldness. I've always been good at noticing these things. Up until recently, I found it easy to keep quiet about them, but now... hmm... perhaps I've been inspired to a rash courage by a grain of truth I wasn't looking for." Hajime looked up at him. "It's Yamashita-taichou, isn't it?" Byakuya's expression darkened, and Hajime gave a slight laugh. "Damn... it's too easy to forget how easy it is to offend you. My apologies for being so forward, Kuchiki-taichou. I didn't mean to jump into the matter so quickly."

"You planned it?"

"Originally, I had planned to get to it slowly, but it doesn't matter now." Byakuya couldn't explain why, but he instantly saw something in Hajime he never thought he would. His eyes widened for a moment, but when he blinked, the shadow of recollection or resemblance was gone, and Hajime was staring fixedly at him. "You came looking for something. You're not aware of it, but you want to know where she is."

"You know?" He nodded once. "Did she tell you?"

"She didn't have to," he said with a shrug. "There's only one place she would go to train Takumi, especially since she's also training herself." Hajime turned to Byakuya. "What will you do?" He considered the question for a moment, then turned away. "If you go after her, she might get mad."

"She should not have left, not that way." The younger shinigami shrugged.

"There's nothing for it, then." He paced away with his head bent in thought, but he continued talking. "I can tell something is about to happen. I'm not really sure what it is, but maybe it's better for her if you're there when it does. Oh, and tell her I said hi, will you? If you don't mind, that is." Then, as calmly as he had come, Hajime walked away, his arms at his sides and his shoulders squared like a soldier's. For a moment, the captain studied Hajime's footsteps. Then, just as quickly, he turned to take up his own path. There was no point in questioning a situation that was strange to the core.

* * *

><p>Haru sat in the library, her mother's journal spread open before her, her eyes reading the words again. She couldn't quit reading them. Surely, there had to be some other reason... but no, she had already seen proof enough of that. She shut the volume and let her eyes fall shut. <em>My mother... loved Aizen. <em>She tried to imagine how it happened. She had read it three times already, but still, she couldn't see it. She couldn't see how her mother of all people could get swept away by his deceit. Yet she had, and the consequences... A smile graced her lips, and she pushed her chair back, walking along the shelves and stopping at one, reaching out and pulling another volume free, thumbing through it. As she read, she became consumed by the words, so consumed that she didn't hear someone calling her name. She was so absorbed that the slightest touch on her shoulder startled her into knocking the person approaching to the ground and drawing a fist back.

"Matte... Haru-dono..." he choked, wrapping one hand around her wrist. She studied him for a moment with wild eyes, then climbed off of him and sheepishly faced the other direction. "Haru-dono..."

"Gomen, Yoshio-san." She raised her eyes. "I'm afraid I haven't been myself lately." Haru flexed her fingers thoughtfully as he lifted the book and glanced at it, then looked back to Haru. "I'm afraid..." She let her hand fall, and although there was a smile on her lips, there were tears in her eyes. "I'm so afraid, Yoshio-san... of what will happen when I wrap my hands around that power." He studied her intensely for a moment. "I know how it's supposed to go. The world will crumble out from under my feet, and I'll plummet into a wasteland without emotion, but when I looked at otousan, I never once thought he was just ignis solus on the inside."

"Because he wasn't." Yoshio waved the book matter-of-factly. "Tatsuhiro-dono felt more strongly than any of us. It was because he lost those emotions for three months that he could feel that way."

"Why did he come out of it?" Haru asked. Yoshio shook his head slowly, and she gave a troubled sigh.

"Because he met your mother." She blinked. "Masahiro-dono broke off his engagement with his fiancé after Tatsuhiro-dono awakened. One night, Tatsuhiro-dono left without telling us. When I opened the door to let him in, he was smiling. That's the only time I've ever seen Masahiro-dono cry." Yoshio stood up and offered his hand to Haru, which she took. "Your father was just as ruthless as the rest of us. I still remember what he said to Masahiro after the incident with that Fujiwara shinigami. He looked at the blood red sky and said, 'I'll crush my own heart to dust, if not so I can never feel this pain again, then so I can stop you from making me feel it.'" Yoshio smiled. "He chased that flame with everything he was. He suffered alone. We all just thought he was ill. Only after he really grasped it did we realize he was carving a path to power inside himself. There was no undoing it. He bore his consequences with absolute indifference." He got to his feet and extended his hand. "I'm no expert on quincies. I have no spiritual power of my own, but if I had to guess, on the night they met, Tatsuhiro-dono found something new to call precious." Haru stared up at him for a moment, then gave a slow nod. "Eh? You're reading this?" Yoshio glanced down at her questioningly.

"What is it?"

"A collection of shinigami stories Fujiwara Hitoshi told your grandfather in payment for his sword." Haru glanced at it again, then held out her hands. "Eh?"

"I want to finish it."

"Haru-dono..."

"They aren't just stories." She wrapped her fingers around the book and gently removed it from Yoshio's hands. "Besides, I want to show Takumi."

"Eh? You're taking it back to Soul Society?"

"No need," she answered, standing up and pacing across the floor.

"Nani? Matte, Haru-dono. I don't under—" His voice trailed off as they exited the labyrinth of shelves and the door drifted into sight. Unless his eyes deceived him, and they probably didn't, there was a shinigami in the doorway, grinning and waving with the lightest of chuckles.

"Takumi, I found something you might be interested in." He took the book she offered him. "Read it later. We're going back to work."

"Eh? But it's only been an hour!"

"An hour is plenty to rest. Besides, I suddenly feel like swinging my sword." Yoshio witnessed the exchange with his mouth half-open. He couldn't decide if shock or revulsion was stronger. Takumi heaved a sigh, and he glanced up, not being able to wrap his mind around either of them enough to fully experience them.

"Man." Takumi scratched his head and smiled. "She's a handful, neh?" He turned away and trotted after her pressing a hand against his left eye.

"Something wrong?"

"Iie," he answered, shaking his head gently. "It just bothered me for a moment is all. I almost saw something."

"What was it?"

"I'm not sure," he answered, shaking his head. "But we'll find out soon."

The night sky stretched overhead, dotted with innumerable stars. Haru reclined on the roof, counting them silently as she thought things over.

She replayed it in her head, that last fight she had had with Takumi that day. It had lasted for three hours. Three straight hours, their weapons continually met each other. She threw him backwards, but he kept his footing and bolted forward again, slamming that unseen sword against her own. Haru slid her seele along its edge and swung upwards, catching the eye patch. His pupil narrowed, and she blocked his next blow, but the force of it made her slide backwards. It didn't end there. Haru felt something distinct shifting and leapt back, but it cut her anyway, right below the bandages wrapped around her arms. She held the cut and stared at him, at the way his hand was poised, and decided to quit thinking. The flurry of blows that followed was beyond recall, but the end result was the same. The two of them wound up collapsing at the exact moment, Haru falling on her back, Takumi on his side. His unreleased sword lay a short distance away, reappearing out of nowhere. Haru kept hold of both of her weapons, gulping air and forcing herself onto her stomach.

_No more, _she thought as she heard Takumi stir. She ignored her body and mind, set her teeth, and forced herself to her knees. When she lifted her head, she realized he had released his shikai and pressed his weight against his back foot. He didn't move for a long time. Then, the wind stirred, and slowly, he began to shift with it. Her eyes widened slightly as she realized it looked sort of like tai chi.

"Just now, I cut you without touching you," he said without opening his eyes. Haru pushed herself up and knelt, watching his movements.

"Indeed," she said without stopping. "What an interesting power."

"I almost unsheathed it."

"Unsheathed it?" she asked, peering at him. Takumi's face remained focused, but he spoke as if he wasn't distracted at all.

"I'll tell you something I haven't mentioned to anyone yet." His eyes appeared, but his focus, she saw, was still on the wind. "Akumashoku prefers bankai. It's because it's truer to the nature he lost so long ago." The rings on the hilt of his lance jingled as he moved, echoing through their surroundings like wind chimes. "Have you wondered why you can't see it?"

"You've never talked about its power. I thought it would be best to wait until you brought it up." Takumi paused and looked at her.

"Arigatou, taichou," he said quietly. "You've put me at ease. I feel like I can be honest with you."

Haru flexed her fingers and absently reached skyward, letting the words shift around in her mind. "Whether it's sheathed or not, Kanryoshoku is formidable as far as bankai go. He might be the most dangerous sword in all of Soul Society."

"Nande?"

"Because..." Takumi's smile was suddenly full of blood lust. Her hand shuddered, and she looked up at him. "It's full of a raw killing power so subtle that no one can save themselves from it."

Her eyes snapped open, and she sat up. She felt like she had slept for a little while, but the stars hardly looked different than they had when she had shut her eyes. She stretched slightly and recalled the feeling of rushing along the rooftops with Hiroto on her back. He was still scared of being so high, but he let himself relax enough to laugh and even spread his arms out from time to time. She wondered for a moment why she kept her promise to do such things even though it took time away from training, but it didn't take much thought. That thrill of being caught between two extremes in an area that could only be gray... it was the same with him. She stood and stretched her hand out.

_Why... _Her eyes grew grim as she shut her fingers and let her arm fall to her side. _Why is it that we reach for the sun and serenade the moon? _In the midst of thinking, she felt the reishi shift. Someone had approached her, joined her on the roof. She gave him one glance, waiting for him to say something, but he didn't speak. He merely studied her, watched as she looked back towards the sky and nearly lost herself in her thoughts again.

"Nande?" she said suddenly. "Why are you here, Grimmjow-san?" The moonlight glanced off of his teal hair, and he walked forward without a word.

"I could ask the same of you." Haru arched a brow but said nothing. "After all those years of running, you finally decided to face it. Why?"

"The thought of war sometimes drives one to extremes."

"Not you." Curious, she turned towards him. "You're looking for something else, something that might kill you."

"It's a risk I'm willing to take to protect this world."

"Pretty brave, chibi," Grimmjow retorted. "Brave and stupid." Her eyes sharpened a bit at the comment, but she said nothing. "You've got enough power as it is. Why would you want to risk it all just to get more?"

"Without it, I can't put forth my full effort, and that would be a losing battle whether I survived or not."

"You're crazy."

"Did you come here to berate me?" She said it as if speaking to an espada was a normal occurrence. Grimmjow was taken a back for a moment at the blunt comment, but even more so by the fact that she turned away. "Leave, then."

"Chibi…"

"It's Haru," she said firmly, casting a glare over her shoulder. "Yamashita Haru. Any variant of that will be fine, so long as 'chibi' isn't part of it."

"Oi, chotto matte!" For some reason, Haru stopped walking away and decided to linger after all. She gave him a look that said all too well that she was listening. "I didn't come here for nothing."

"Why are you here then, Grimmjow-san?"

"Ulquiorra."

"Ulquiorra-san?" Haru's eyes flickered as she remembered that figure she had seen the last time hollow had attacked. Instantly, her expression fell into something flaming.

"Heh... you look pretty pissed."

"Because he went after something he shouldn't have." Haru closed a fist and threw her glare to the stars. "He tried to kill my sanseki. For that, I'll have his head." She stopped and looked at Grimmjow. "But wait... that doesn't explain why you're mad at him."

"Because I can't stand the bastard." Grimmjow spat the last word in such a way that suggested the mere mention was enough to give him a bad aftertaste. He fell into a sitting position and leaned against one hand, brooding as he continued. "He acts all calm, like it's no big freaking deal that something meddled with his attempts to throw you into chaos, but then he opens his damn mouth and just pisses me off." Haru examined him for a moment, then sighed and paced to a closer proximity before dropping herself into a sitting position. "He's got it out for you, you know. Of course, he wants to be a big show-off and do what no hollow has yet been able to: take the head of that little mongrel and be done with it, in his words. He makes it sound easy."

"Why are you getting so worked up over it?"

"You would if you heard some of the shit he says!"

"Grimmjow-san," she said calmly, tipping her head back and filling her eyes with stars. She smiled and tilted her gaze to him. "What do you make of all this?"

"It's all a load of bull! Ain't no way you're getting cut down by a hollow, espada or otherwise. It especially won't be Ulquiorra, but as he hasn't got orders to move yet, he won't bother you, not until…"

"Until December twenty-first."

"How'd you know?"

"I figured it out," Haru answered, smiling. "Before then, I have to be strong enough to beat him. Whether or not I can do that the way I am now… well, one cannot really say."

"Seriously?" She smiled in a way that showed him exactly how she felt without really saying it. The fact that she did say it made things so much stronger.

"I'm falling for ignis solus. I have since I first reached for it, but lately, I've noticed it feels less natural than it did in the beginning. I've been trying to figure out why, but nothing has come to mind." Haru sighed, and her eyes disappeared before the mist had faded away. She pulled one knee up and wound both her arms around it, bowing her head slightly towards the ground. "There's something… different. Maybe the power itself has changed to elude my grasp. Iie… the power hasn't changed." Haru lifted her eyes and looked at Grimmjow. "I brought Takumi here to make him stronger, but truthfully, I brought him so I would have an anchor to stabilize me while I'm chasing after it. He can't make me stable, though. Only I can do that." She peered at Grimmjow for a moment. "It may seem strange of me to ask your opinion, but I'm afraid I must. What do you make of it?"

"You'd better get your shit together if you want to live. That's all I've got to say." Haru watched him for an unsettlingly long moment. "What the hell are you staring at?" Immediately, she looked away and smiled.

"Betsuni. I was merely contemplating… what your philosophy on fighting might be."

"I ain't got one."

"Sure you do," Haru answered. "Everyone does, whether they can put it into words or not." Her eyes glimmered as they met his again. "Perhaps I should word the question more directly. Why do you fight as a hollow?"

"To get stronger."

"What for?"

"To pummel every damn person who ever looked down on me."

"How?"

"How else?" he retorted. Haru shook her head. The answer was too simple.

"That isn't what I meant. What I meant was, how do you know you've won?" Grimmjow arched his brow, wondered for a moment why he was putting up with her inquiries, recalled that if he didn't, he would have to go back to Hueco Mundo, and sighed.

"Simple. If I dodge, it's to hit my opponent. If I take a hit, I pay it back. If I see an opening, I strike first. Even if I face my enemy head on, I always move to kill, with as little noise and as little room as possible. It's a… carry over from my days as an adjuchas."

"Souka," she murmured. When Grimmjow looked to her again, he realized he was still being studied and turned away hastily, glaring at the snow that glared back at him. "Teach me."

"It's straightforward enough. You figure it out."

"That's not what I meant." She said it so objectively that it was difficult to take her word as an actual expression of her desire. Still, after several more moments of feeling her eyes on him, he whipped his head incredulously at her.

"You're out of your damn mind!" Haru didn't flinch, didn't avert her eyes, didn't turn away. Her eyes and her expression remained fixed. "If you think you can learn to move like a hollow, forget it. You're too… you're not…" Her eyes glinted with silent insistence. "Give it a rest already!"

"Nande?"

"Because you're—hell, I can't put it into words. It's just not you."

"Why isn't it?"

"Because you're a shinigami! That's why!" Haru slowly turned away. He could tell she was trying to make sense of what he had just said. "Quit thinking about it." Her eyes fell shut for a moment. "Didn't I tell you to quit thinking about it?" She folded her arms and bowed her head. With a scoff, he sat in the silence, entirely unsettled. He had been so used to the senseless chatter of that new espada bastard, and he couldn't say anything because of his number. The wind shifted slightly. He didn't even shudder, not even when it whipped snow into his face. Only when Haru's eyes appeared again did he move, so serious and dark that he couldn't see the rain in them anymore. "What… what the hell is with that look?" he demanded, trying to curb that subtle tremor in his tone. Haru lifted her eyes to the stars, and they sprang to life again, glinting despite transparent barrier between them and the sky.

"I'm not a shinigami."

"What the hell do you mean you're not? You've got a rank, a uniform, and a zanpakutoh! How the hell can you not be a shinigami?"

"I can't explain." Haru closed her fist and looked at him. "But I'm telling you right now, I'm not a shinigami. There's no name for what I am."

"There's gotta be a name."

"There isn't," she answered. "And until I figure out how to tell everyone else that pure and simple fact, until I find another way to fight Aizen, I'm going to keep calling myself a shinigami because it's more than a uniform and a sword. It's a way of life, and I want to live that way for as long as I can." Haru's eyes grew determined. "I'm not a shinigami, so you can teach me."

"Hell, no! I don't care what you are! You're less hollow than you are shinigami!" Haru's eyes grew critical, and she stared at the snow again.

"Something is missing."

"Eh?"

"Something is missing," Haru repeated, throwing herself onto her back. "All my life, I've been reaching for the sun without really having a clear idea of why. It takes something more subtle than all that fire to win in a fight. I know that, on some level. I've never been one for flashy antics. It's Suzaku that likes them. Grandiose displays of power, pillars of fire stretching towards heaven and blooming into a beautiful flaming shadow or else collapsing in a wave of destruction… I admire their beauty, demo…" She reached out a hand tentatively. On her wrist, the cross glinted. Haru's fingers gently closed. "Demo… it's not enough. There's something else, something beyond all that fire, that speaks so quietly, I can't even hear it." Her hand fell onto her stomach, and she shut her eyes as she continued. "As a Yamashita, I'm supposed to reach for the sun and serenade the moon, but it doesn't make sense to me. It doesn't make sense to reach for something you don't admire."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"In the end, I guess that's why I asked about your philosophy on fighting." Haru sat up, shaking the snow off the back of her head and staring straight ahead. "I thought I would reach for something I didn't admire for once, just to see if the results are any different." Her fingers grazed the edge of the moon, and her breath drifted into the air. Finally, she sat up and peered at him. "I'm not a shinigami, Grimmjow-san. I know I could learn."

"Forget it."

"Nande?"

"Like I said, you're not a hollow!" She gave him a serious look.

"Even so, haven't I shown that I can think like a hollow if I try?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Haru peered towards the sky again, resting her hand in the snow and ignoring the water soaking through her gloves. "If you recall correctly, I made it out of Hueco Mundo alive."

"You were as good as dead."

"But I still made it out," Haru interrupted. "And what's more, you saw the door I carved to escape. If you didn't find it yourself, then someone must have shown you." Grimmjow nearly threw her off the roof for saying such things. He did remember it, but he didn't want to. That mess she had left behind, all those bodies, parts of them strewn about… he counted it nothing short of a miracle that Haru managed to escape with her head still on her shoulders, especially when he had heard Ulquiorra had been the one who tried to stop her. Maybe that was why Ulquiorra made it a point to give Grimmjow a private tour of the carnage Haru had left behind.

"All meaningless," he added at the end, looking down at the pillar that housed the hougyoku. "She'll soon be as dead as they are." Grimmjow swallowed and swung at her, but Haru sped away, reappearing in a crouch a short distance of way and rising to her feet.

"What is it that makes me incapable of learning how to move like a hollow?"

"You have to be a hollow."

"But even though I'm not a shinigami, I can move like one."

"That's totally different! Isn't it obvious?"

"Of course it's different."

"So let it go already!"

"What I mean to say is," Haru stated, pulling her zanpakutoh free. "My mind understands your words well. It's my body that doesn't, and until my body does, it's no good." One teal eye peered at her, flustered, resistant, but incapable of outwitting her. He stood up and drew his sword, glaring at her.

"You tell me you regret this, and I swear, I'll break your throat." Haru peered at him, then bowed her head and smiled. "We're gonna do this my way, get it? We quit when I say when we quit."

"Fine by me."

"Better not release your sword."

"Eh?" Haru inquired.

"We're doing this up here."

"Nande?"

"The view's nicer," he retorted. "Besides, you want to learn to move like a hollow so damn bad, you get used to using every spare inch of space you're given."

"Alright," Haru murmured. "Your terms, then, aside from those you've already stated."

"Fight me without your sword released." He expected her to object, but she simply shut her eyes and smiled, reaching a hand back and touching her Seele.

"What about this?"

"What about it?"

"Can I at least release this?"

"Fine by me." Haru pulled the weapon out of its hold, unsheathing her sword in the same instant. She read in his eyes that he was ready, even if his stance said otherwise. She shot towards him with all the speed she could muster. One sweep of his sword was all it took. She felt the roof slide out from beneath her feet, saw the stars getting slightly more distant, and hit the snow with a dull thud. Her zanpakutoh, which had been the offending weapon, impaled the ground nearby. Winded, Haru turned her head and gasped for breath, unable to do anything more than cough feebly and try to blink the spots away from her eyes. Up above her on the roof, Grimmjow looked down at her and grinned.

"Nice view."

"Urusai," she retorted, turning her eyes away. She picked herself up after a moment. "I've put my body through hell today as it is."

"Why'd you ask me to do this then?"

"Because it's not enough." Haru pulled her sword out again. "Let me try again."

"No way."

"Grimmjow-san…"

"Didn't I say before—"

"Onegai," she pleaded. The earnestness in her eyes was too much for him to say no to. She was making him soft, much as he hated to admit it. With a sigh, he knelt down and extended a hand to Haru, which she took after sheathing her zanpakutoh.

"You're thinking too much."

"Eh?"

"A hollow's way is pure instinct. Even Szayel's intellect was some form of it. Aside from that, you can't do anything thinking about your opponent's next move. Stay lodged in the present. Focus on one blow at a time. And learn to move without making so much noise. Your feet are a dead giveaway."

"It's impossible to move quietly in these damn things," Haru retorted, tapping her boot on the rooftop.

"Impossible?" He turned his sword to her again. "Then make it possible, Haru." For some reason, the way the name fell from his lips made her shudder, so serious and so confident at the same time. "Now, come at me again, quietly this time." Haru nodded and prepared to move. She wasn't sure how long it would last, but as long as it did, she would try to understand. She would try to learn what no one else, shinigami, quincy, or human, could teach her.

* * *

><p>Hajime's cup slipped out of his fingers and crashed against the floor, sending what little tea was left in it in all directions along with fragments of clay. In the dim candlelight, his eyes flickered as he looked to the moon. Outside, the wind shook the naked trees and whistled fiercely. Elsewhere, he knew, the weather was fine, clear and crisp but not cold. Something inside him stirred, and he pressed a hand to his chest.<p>

"Steady, steady," he said to himself, leaning back and tilting his head upwards and drawing a slow breath. "Well, look at that... it's finally started." Hajime gathered three candles from around the room and placed them on the table, lowering his head onto his book and gazing at the three of them, looking at their varying heights. "Shouhekitsuru..."

_Hai, Haji-kun?_

"What do you think?" A strange smile spread across his face as he reached out towards the smallest. "One shinigami reaches out to take up a road no one has dared to tread willingly. She's about to burn out as it is, and can't last much longer before the flames consume her. Even so, she wants to live every moment like her last, always striving to protect everything she counts as precious." He moved a taller one beside it. "And the hollow who saved her... he's fighting a battle he can't even see. It goes against what he is, who he is. Blood and shadow should be his only company now, but suddenly, he finds a little flame in the darkness, lighting his way." Hajime picked up the third and shifted it to the other side of the smallest. "And... finally... the wind itself, blowing at just the right speed to feed the flames." Hajime moved them into a triangle like chess pieces and looked at them. "They don't have to fight each other because she's fighting both of them. Like it or not, they'll all grow and change before the burn-out." He watched the flames waver and tapped his fingers on the table. "When that happens, what will they do? She's a light for both of them."

_Go their own ways, I suppose._

"Maybe," Hajime said, pinching the two taller ones and locking his eyes on the remaining flame. "Time is running out, but what's left is more than enough." He lifted it and touched each of the candles he had just extinguished with the smallest one's flame. They both sprang back to life, casting their gold light as far as they could. "She'll light a fire in both of them that will never die."

_Sounds like you're sure of that._

"Of course I'm sure." He smiled and shut his eyes. "It's just that I put on an unsure persona so people don't get suspicious. I'm a lot like Haru in that respect."

_That's definitely true. But the real question... _Hajime's eyes flickered across the room to an unlit candle.

"Don't make me part of this."

_But you are. You know you are. It is inescapable._

"Shouhekitsuru—"

_What will you do, Haji-kun? _His eyes flickered with frustration. _Will you let yourself stay in the shadows, or will you bring everything to light? _His fingers tightened, and he pressed a hand against his right eye, shaking. His left eye fell to the text, but he didn't read any of it. All the kanji blurred together into a single mass of gray. _I'm more than aware that I can't save you, Haji-kun, but won't you at least let her? _He paused and dropped his head, and his lips parted in a laugh. Then, he pointed his index finger and fired a small spark of kidou, lighting the wick and dropping his hand as he looked at the newly born flame.

"I don't need saved from anything." His hand fell, and he wrapped a hand around his sword, then stood and drew it. "I'll save myself. I'll save everyone. If this blood is a curse, then I'll bleed and curse my enemies. If it's a blessing, I'll live and bless the world. Even if it means losing everything, even if it goes against everything my division believes in, I'll fight."

_You shouldn't show your power too much. _He laughed again and spoke Shouhekitsuru into an awakened state, then drew his arm back. He lingered poised in the shadows for a few moments, his lips parted as he drew a breath and released it, his body perfectly steady.

"You don't need to worry about that," he murmured, moving his blade so it caught the light and flickered. "Believe me. I know when it's good to stay hidden." His eyes shot open and half glowed, and in one sweep he extinguished all of them. Even when the light faded, his eyes gleamed, perhaps because of the moonlight, perhaps because something in him glowed and stirred. He stepped across the floor and over the threshold, shutting the door behind him. Without the light of the candles or his eyes, the room was filled only with silence.

* * *

><p>Hooray, you made it! Welcome back! I hope you found the chapter a lovely and gratifying experience. Also, Hajime is kind of usurping the story, but that's just what he does. You'll see what I mean in the next few chapters. He's not going to replace Haru as the main character, but... well, I don't want to spoil anything, do I? *evil laughter*<p>

As much as I'd love to make everyone wait, I really want to post the next chapter. So, I'll leave you with a Japanese lesson:

Ittekimasu: It's really hard to directly translate this one. Something like, "I'll be off," or "I'm going now" doesn't really capture it. It's more like, "I'm leaving, but I'll come back."

Itterasshai: The response to "ittekimasu." It basically means, "Please come back safely," or something along those lines.

Sukidayo: We all know what this means! Also, Microsoft Word apparently thinks this should be "Skidoo."

Nani: What

Gomen: Apology

Matte: Wait

Iie: No

Arigatou: Thank you (One day, I'll go back and fix all those "arigato"s...)

Nande: Why

Chotto matte: Wait a minute/second/other small amount of time.

Betsuni: Nothing

Souka: I see

Demo: But

Urusai: Shut up

Onegai: Please

As a quick note, Takumi's bankai is called kanryoshoku, which translates into "complete eclipse." Oddly enough, "shoku" is the same kanji in "teishoku," which is like a meal set with pickles, miso soup, rice, and a main dish. You're welcome for the odd fact.

And in case anyone forgot, Hajime's zanpakutoh is called shouhekitsuru, or barrier crane.

Thanks for the wait, the read, the future reviews (for those of you who choose to leave them), and for continuing to be fans (for those of you who choose to continue reading), and I hope to see you all again soon! *bows*


	17. Chapter 17: Disclosure

A/N: And... I have another chapter! *Wild applause? Awkward chirping crickets? Vacuum of silence?*

As always, life gets in the way of me posting. But things are starting to wind down. I should be able to wrap this up in another... maybe 8 chapters (to keep with the 25-chapter format I've been using). I begrudgingly confess that I hate titles. I have changed the title of this chapter three times. I'm still not sure if the name fits, but since I'm done with everything else, I figure... why wait? Let's pretend the two chapters before this do not also have names that start with the letter D, shall we?

Also, I do confess that the last segment of this chapter is probably one of my favorites. Maybe you disagree, but even though it's only a page in a half, it packs a punch... in more ways than one. You'll see what I mean. Hehehe...

Again, infinite showers of gratitude to everyone who has continued reading, and thanks especially to my reviewers, furionknight, Lady Almathia, and animelover56348. Please keep your hands, arms, legs, feet, and other appendages inside your desk chair (or other seat of your choice) at all times. Enjoy!

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 17: Disclosure<em>

"They're at it again?"

"Looks like it."

"Masahiro-dono…" The old man gave him a bland look, like he already knew what Yoshio was going to say. "Haru-dono can't keep doing this to herself."

"Can't she?" His eyes wandered to the vice-captain, whose invisible weapon fell against Haru's. She had discarded the coat and sash, fighting him in the sleeveless collared shirt and showing her bandaged upper arms. She was oblivious to the blood seeping through one of them. From beneath her glasses, similar but not identical in shape to her old ones, her violet eyes flickered, and her restrained hair traced a trail behind her. She shifted her head and shot forward. "Five days have done much for her. She has better stamina, her moves are tighter, and her timing is impeccable even though she gives it no thought." Masahiro folded his arms behind his back and straightened, watching as she dipped beneath Takumi's attack again and thrust her clenched fist forward. He must have foreseen the move, because he staggered back. In that instant, Haru cut upwards twice. The first fell against his weapon, the second cut his shoulder. Determined not to lose, he readjusted his hold and delivered a counterattack, but Haru had already flashed out of sight, arching her step around him in the direction of his blade. "You cannot see how seriously she is taking this, Yoshio-kun. You can never know how relentlessly she is pursuing this. Only the moon sees…"

"And the eye of the wandering sun," he stated. "With all due respect, sir, I believe you know why Haru-dono has improved so much."

"Perhaps." Masahiro peered shrewdly around to see that one of his servants had come down. "Saki-chan." He said it to the maid.

"Masahiro-dono, we have company upstairs. Should I show them in?"

"Why? Are they someone we shouldn't be letting in?" Masahiro inquired.

"I... believe so, sir." She glanced to Haru, then back to the head of the family.

"I see." The final blow rang out, causing the three of them to turn and watch Takumi's sword reappear with a slight shift in the air. Then, it fell to the ground, sticking in at a weird angle. Haru's arms fell, and she staggered to her knees, pressing her own sword into the earth and hunching over for a moment. Normally, Takumi asked her if she was okay when she collapsed like that, but this time, he said nothing. When she finally looked up at him, she saw his eyes fixed on the stairs and noted the trepidation gleaming in them. Haru pushed herself to her feet and drew one slow breath to recover. Then, she felt it, and her fist clenched.

"Hajime, you son of a bitch."

"Eh?" Haru whirled towards the stairs and wiped the sweat off of her brow. "Taichou!"

"I'll deal with them," she said firmly, staggering again and catching herself, then gripping her arm and giving a low hiss. "Just... give me five minutes."

"Haru-dono!"

"Taichou," Takumi said more gently, lifting her up and forcing her to lean on his shoulder. "I know you want to get stronger, and you want to make me stronger, but you're finished."

"Not yet, I'm not."

"Rest a bit. I'll keep them busy." Haru glanced up at Takumi, at his mismatched eyes, and smiled.

"I can't get anything past you, can I?"

"Not on three hours of sleep, you can't." He stood up and brushed his knees off, then pulled his eye patch out of his shihakusho and slid it on. "Did you tell Hajime we would be here?"

"What makes you think that?"

"Well, you just called him a son of a bitch. I just assumed he's the reason anyone would find us." Haru shut her eyes and pushed herself to her feet. "Oi..."

"Don't mention him right now." She pushed past her grandfather and his two servants without a word, and they all exchanged glances.

"Is it me, or does Haru-dono seem a little less like herself?" Yoshio posed the question, but no one dared to answer. The truth was, they were all a little afraid of what she was doing to herself and what would happen when the flames finally came to life. Takumi gave a shrug and scratched his head, then picked up his sword and swung it once before sliding it back into its sheath.

"Perhaps if she actually tried sleeping—"

"That's not it." Masahiro bit back a grumble and threw his eyes at Takumi. "It's Hajime."

"Eh? Who?" Saki demanded.

"He's another shinigami. We went to the academy together. He and I were like brothers, but for some reason, whenever I bring him up, Yamashita-taichou..." Takumi lowered his head slightly. _Is it possible that he's the reason for it? Is it what he said back then? _He recalled the look of absolute horror on her face, the way she just broke while all he could do was sit and watch. _And that look in his eyes... for the first time in my life, I saw a scheme there. _Takumi's hand shivered, and he clenched his fist. _Was that scheme always there? Did he just keep me close so I wouldn't see it? _The thoughts flooded his mind, and he groaned in frustration, rubbing his head to clear his mind and giving an irritated grown. "Kuso... I just can't crack it!" With a huff, he dropped his head. "Whatever," he retorted, turning away. "It doesn't concern me, anyway." He listened to two pairs of footsteps ascend and waited until he was left alone to continue, but the third never left. He turned around and glanced at her. Saki. Yamashita Saki. She was Haru's third cousin like Hiroto, but she was a university student. Her hair was short unlike most Yamashita women, almost boyishly so, and something in her eyes reminded him of his sister. She had let them in that night, quietly, secretly, and with a stealth that he had never seen in humans. As he looked at her again, his eyes widened.

"What? What is it?"

"You're..." He bit off the rest of his words. "You touched it."

"Huh?"

"Ignis solus." His visible eye narrowed slightly, and he chuckled. "I knew the minute I laid eyes on you that you weren't a normal maid. This just confirms it."

"What are you talking about?"

"You're not a shinigami," he said, marching forward until he was peering into her eyes. "I can see it clearly. You let him engineer you, the same way my father did." She wrapped her hand around her arm and looked away. "Why?" The wind blew gently, and her golden eyes nearly fell shut. Then, she yanked a weapon free and tried to thrust it into Takumi. Before she could, he slid his hand past hers and seized her wrist, jerking the dagger-length seele away from his appendix and raising it above his head. A moment later, he felt the shock of something penetrating his side. Looking down, he saw another seele protruding from it and raised his eye calmly.

"No one knows," she said. "Not my parents. Not my brothers and sisters. Not even Yoshio-san. Only Masahiro-dono, and even he doesn't know how far I've gone." She twisted it, and he winced. "So how is it that you can see through to it?"

"It's obvious." He pulled her sleeve up and wrapped his hand around the cross hanging from it, then adjusted his spiritual pressure. Her expression turned to panic. "Now, how about we talk like two civilized people? You can start by pulling that out." She scoffed, then gave it one more twist and a sharp pull. Takumi's head reeled and he staggered, gripping the wound and drawing a sharp breath before sinking to his knees.

"Ch... you're not worthy of protecting Haru-dono."

"I know." Her face changed at his confession. Takumi bowed his head. "I think that almost every day. The truth is, even though I chose her as my captain, she chose me to be one of her protectors." His hand sparked to life, and he sprawled out on his back, watching the false clouds roll by. "And so... I have to swallow my misgivings." He shut his eyes for a moment. "You still haven't answered my question."

"And you haven't answered mine." Takumi's eye wandered up to her. "Start talking."

"Ladies first." She scoffed.

"How chivalrous of you."

"Momo-san thinks so, too." He smiled as her name filled his mouth and looked at the woman kneeling beside him. He saw the obstinacy etched there and sighed. "Look here." He pointed with his clean hand. "This eye sees the world as it appears." His hand moved to his left eye. "This eye sees the world as it is." Takumi let his hand fall on top of his eye patch. "The difference between appearance and being is enormous, so as you can imagine, it's a really troublesome ability, being able to see things and not being able to change them. You must feel the same. All that power and no way to use an ounce of it."

"I did this for someone else." Saki's eyes fell shut. "My oldest brother was really sick when I was young. I thought if I got stronger, I could save him."

"But you couldn't."

"He died before I could come back." She opened her eyes. "And I found other things to protect in his memory."

"Yamashita-taichou." He sighed. "When we go to war, you should fight with us."

"Eh?"

"I suspect that hollow taichou's fighting will, and I know a whole host of people who have power they didn't bargain for who will march straight to hell with her, too."

"I'm no shinigami!"

"Baka," he retorted, sitting up and drawing his hand away. His wound was completely healed. Once he was sure, he looked up at her again, his azure eye gleaming as the wind swayed. "Shinigami, quincy, hollow... this stopped being about the lines between us long ago. This is about protecting the things we hold dear." They both heard a voice and turned. Takumi's expression changed, and his face turned a bit red. "Speak of the devil." He gave a smile and stood up to meet the shinigami approaching. She stopped short, as if catching herself in her overeager state. Before she could say anything else, Takumi touched her face and tried to smile, but his head fell against her shoulder, and he wound up in some strange and silent state of hysteria. She fell to her knees and wrapped her arms around his head, stroking the back of it, murmuring things in his ear. Saki watched for another moment, then slid her weapons back inside her obi. After all, she had nothing else to do there. She paused and glanced down at them.

"You are?"

"Oh... go bantai sanseki, Hinamori Momo. Hajimemashite."

"Please allow me to bring you some tea after I have tended to the guests upstairs."

"Oh, that's al—"

"I'll bring lavender and lemongrass Ceylon. It has a peaceful flavor. It should help him."

"What? Oh... thank you." Hinamori bowed as Saki drifted out of sight and glanced down at Takumi, who still clung to her neck and kept his head buried in her shoulder. "Takumi, what's wrong?" He pushed his face closer and shook his head. "Come on. You can tell—" He cut her off with a kiss, one that sapped the strength from her whole body and tangled her thoughts. Then, he drew away. While he was there, he whispered something that made her breath hitch and her vision blur with tears. Her face turned to an elated and relieved smile, and she sank against him.

_No matter what happens... _Takumi felt her fingers tug at his eye patch, and he looked up at her. _No matter what happens... if I still had this, I think I could keep on living._

* * *

><p>Haru threw the door open, and the dark cloud of her countenance washed the room in silence. After pausing for a moment, she pushed her glasses up and cleared her throat, then carried herself to the table and sat down on a cushion, propping her sword against her arm. "Haru-dono, shall I show your guest in?"<p>

"Sure thing." Truthfully, she already knew what to expect. He appeared from around the corner, took one look at her, and said the first thing that came to mind.

"You are angry."

"Not with you," she said, giving a low sigh and removing her glasses. "I've come to expect things like this from you, but that Hajime bastard said he wouldn't mention where I was going."

"You told him?" he asked.

"Hell, no. He figured it out on his own. Don't ask me how." She rubbed her face with her hands and released the breath she had been holding. "How are things in Soul Society?"

"The same as always." He sat down and rested his hands on his knees. "Haru-kun, I..." She looked up at Byakuya's serious tone and tried to read his face. "I think I was afraid that I would never see you again." Her expression grew less severe, and she looked down at her hand, turning it over and flexing her fingers. "You are chasing something dangerous. You have not yet given me all the details, but I gather that much from how you act about it."

"Do you think I should stop?" Byakuya tilted his head slightly. "If you asked me to, I would probably crack your skull open, but that part of me that loves and respects you would force me to actually consider what you're saying." Byakuya shut his eyes and bent his head in consideration. When they reappeared, they were vivid with the clarity of a midnight moon.

"Don't stop," he said firmly.

"Eh?"

"If you let me hold you back, then I will eliminate the tie you have with me, not because I don't cherish you, but because I cherish you enough to let you go if I am stopping you from doing something." His hand stretched across the table, and his fingers slid along the side of her face. "Aishiteru yo, Yamashita Haru." Her lip quivered, and she bowed her head as a smile washed over her and tears slid from her eyes.

"Arigatou. It means a lot that you still say that." She wiped her face and looked up at him. "It's gotten really hard lately. I'm taking seven of those pills a day, and I'm almost out."

"Pills?" Haru glanced up at Saki, who had just returned. She set the tea down fast enough to make the dishes rattle and Haru flinch, and leaned closer and grabbed Haru's arm. With a hiss of pain, she hunched over and drew a sharp breath. "I want to see them."

"Eh... Saki-san?"

"Show them to me. Now." Byakuya raised his brow and noticed the expression on Haru's face. She blanched and looked away. "Haru-dono, I apologize for my boldness, but if you don't unwind those bandages now, I will have Byakuya-dono hold you down while I do." She lowered her face and touched her arm, her hand shaking slightly. Then, she pulled the bandage loose. It fell loosely around her wrist. Saki stared at her arm for a long time, at the three bands that were clearly already there, and at the blood seeping from below the last, which was just beginning to appear. She didn't say anything as she turned away to pour the tea. Just as she was about to leave, she turned back.

"Stop taking those pills."

"Eh? Nande?" Saki turned away, furious.

"And kill whoever gave them to you, or else I will."

"Saki-san!" Haru glanced at Byakuya, who nodded, and she leapt up. "Saki-san, chotto matte! Please explain yourself!"

"Do I really have to spell it out for you?" She whirled around. "I took one to find out what was in it. I'm studying pharmacology in college, after all." Saki closed her fist. "I couldn't identify any of the compounds, and every time I thought I was on to something, they changed. It's because they were engineered to do that. They change as your emotions and power change." She let out a slow breath and tried to remind herself that Haru was six years her junior, even if she was the head of the family. "Your power should have awakened at least three days ago, and the only reason it hasn't is because whatever's in those pills."

"How—" The rest of her sentence remained unspoken because Saki had shoved her sleeve up and Haru was busy trying to stop her head from reeling.

"I'm one of the only quincies left in this family. I wasn't born with my power. I sold my soul to get it. Still, it's my power." Saki raised her eyes. "It's your power, too. Yours and yours alone. Don't let anyone interfere. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't chase it. Run forward headlong until you catch it." Saki's eyes took on a pale glow. "If you're scared of being useless, I was only out of it for a week. Then, suddenly, everything came back. I was in the middle of class, just getting used to everything feeling gray, and out of nowhere, I just started crying." A slight smile came onto her face. "If you're scared..."

"That isn't it." Saki glanced up. "I'm not scared, not anymore. I'm not afraid of dying, or losing myself to my own power. I'm afraid... that while I'm in that state, I won't be able to protect anything."

"So?"

"Byakuya-sama! Were you eavesdropping?"

"Only a little," he said in his usual monotone. "At times like this, you should let yourself be protected."

"Demo..." Haru touched her arm and leaned against the wall. "Demo... it will happen soon."

"It?"

"The next hollow attack." She looked up at them. "I can't let anyone get hurt because of that."

"You're going to get hurt if you keep pushing yourself," Saki said, waving her hand calmly. "I'll take care of whatever comes down here. You just worry about wrapping your hands around that power. Byakuya-dono..." She smiled. "Please see to her. I'll bring the tea to your room in a few minutes."

"Nani—" That was the only word Haru got out before Byakuya picked her up and carried her, flailing, down the hallway to her quarters. "Bya—Byakuya-sama! It's embarrassing to be carried like this! Put me down!" He shut the door in silence even with her desperate motions, but suddenly, he felt her weight slip. With more poise than he had ever used, he caught her before she hit the ground, dropping to the floor and resting his knee firmly on it. Before giving her time to recover, he captured her lips and silenced her protests. At first, she was pushing him away, but then, her arms simply fell limp and her mind grew blank. Byakuya pulled away and embraced her, pulling her close to him and leaning back against a wall. He could feel her heart racing and her body trembling. Her breath fell against his ear. "Byakuya-sama..."

"Don't say it," he commanded. She jolted and looked at him, at the haze in his eyes, and slowly lowered herself again. She felt him shifting a little, taking off his captain's haori. She stared up at him as he wrapped the garment around her shoulders and pulled her against his chest. She rested her head there and rubbed her cheek against his shoulder, clutching his shihakusho and smiling. For a moment, she enjoyed the feeling of being missed. Then, she lowered her head slightly, and something grim swept over her features. "Haru-kun?"

"I said I wasn't afraid, and I meant it. I'm not afraid of my power because I've found something else to fear. I'm afraid that if people find out what I really am, I'll have everything taken from me. My status as a captain, my zanpakutoh, my freedom..."

"They will not touch you." He pressed a hand against the back of her head as if to shield her. "I know you have been striving hard for that power, and I'm not sure who interfered—"

"It was Hajime."

"Hajime? Shimori Hajime?"

"He's the one that told you where I was, right? Anyway, I understand why he did it, but that doesn't mean I won't crack his meddling skull open next time I see him."

"If he irritates you so much, why do you let him meddle?"

"I don't let him do anything. He does what he wants." She looked up at him, then shook her head. "It's impossible to make you understand without saying too much, so don't push it."

"Alright." He caressed the side of her face and leaned forward to press his lips against her head, then stopped when the door slammed open. Haru tried to pull away, but she didn't get far before Byakuya restrained her, even as Saki calmly entered the room and set the tea down.

"Make sure she drinks all of it. It'll wash the drugs out of her system."

"That's in poor taste. You could have just asked me to take it." Haru seized the cup and swallowed every drop, then sank against Byakuya again and shut her eyes. He grew rigid for a moment, then relaxed as Haru's eyes fell shut. "Damn it... my head is killing me."

"You should try getting some sleep for once then. Otherwise, you won't be ready for that hollow." Haru gave her a bland look of half-comprehension, then sank entirely down and sighed as she slipped out of consciousness. "Seriously..." Saki pressed her hand against her head and shook it. "I really need to find another job. Babysitting her like this is really annoying." Saki let another sigh loose and stared at her for a moment, then glanced to Byakuya. "Hey. I'm just telling the truth. She may mean something to you, but to me, she's nothing but a brat. Still, if a brat can make Masahiro-dono look like that..." She recalled the chess game and set her jaw. "A good long rest will set her right. Until she wakes up, make yourself at home and tell me if you need anything." Byakuya nodded once and sighed. "You want to move her?"

"No," he said. "This is fine."

"You sure? It looks uncomfortable." Saki was either blind to his cutting look, or else she chose not to see anything cutting in it. In either case, she backed away with a slight bow. "Forgive me for intruding, but don't you find her troublesome?"

"More troublesome than words can express, but if you care deeply enough about something, you tend to forget such things." Saki nodded and drew away.

"I'll be back in three hours. Without those drugs suppressing her power, she's going to need every bit of sleep she can get." Byakuya nodded. "I want you to stay by her. No one should ever be alone when going through something like ignis solus." She slid the door shut after bowing and turned down the hall, her expression set like stone. _I'm jealous. _She clenched her fist. _I'm jealous because I never had anyone to take care of me when I first touched that power. I was alone. _Saki stared at her palm for a moment, then slammed her fist against the wall. _She's just a brat, but she's got the whole world behind her, and like it or not, I'm behind her, too. _Her expression wavered, and she covered her mouth. _Haru-dono... for the people who stand behind you, please touch that power. Touch it, and protect all of them._

* * *

><p>Haru opened her eyes slowly as the hazy mantle of sleep lifted. She shut them as soon as they were open and pressed a hand to her head. It didn't hurt anymore. Instead, it felt fuzzy and distant. The skin on her arms felt numb and burning. She rubbed her eyes and realized her vision was a little blurry, then reached around and, to her surprise, found her glasses. She put them on and looked into Byakuya's sleeping face, then crept away and covered him with his own haori. She would have stayed there, just sitting and watching him, but she heard the door behind her slide open and jerked up.<p>

"Saki-san..."

"You have to come with me. Now." She turned fully to the maid and noticed, for the first time, the lack of color in her face and the blood dripping from her right hand. "Don't ask questions, and don't hesitate. There isn't much time. He won't speak to me. You're the only one he'll talk to, and if you don't listen to him, I'll never acknowledge you as the head of this family." For a moment, she wondered who Saki was talking about, but it should have been obvious. The cuts on her hand were exactly like the ones on Takumi's face: thin, as if caused by cat's claws. Haru jumped up and slid her coat on without fastening it, then followed Saki. "Does the sight of blood frighten you, Haru-dono?"

"No."

"Then you should be fine with this." Saki pushed the door to the garden open and stood aside. What Haru saw made her head reel, but she remained standing, and other than her eyes widening, she showed no sign of fear even though her mind was fighting to connect the reality of the situation with the rest of her surroundings.

Grimmjow.

What was he doing there, and in the daylight? For no reason she could explain, she released the door frame and moved forward, leaping over the banister and walking through the snow with bare feet, through the whiteness, to the crimson stain that was the sexta espada. The wind was sickeningly calm. Winter didn't even sigh as she moved, almost as if it, too, had no words for the situation. Her eyes touched the bloodied form that leaned against a naked tree, clutching the worst of his wounds and gasping raggedly for breath. She stopped just short of the crimson he had cast in the snow. Her eyes followed the winding path to a spot on the roof, where the snow had been disturbed. From there, his footprints staggered, then melded away into one uniform red and white streak. So, he had crawled to get that far. When she stared into his eyes, she saw her mother and father, and Shimori-san, too. Somewhere inside her, a hollow pain drove itself in like a thorn, but she never looked away. She simply continued gazing at him, and he at her.

"Why are you here, Grimmjow-san?" she said at last. He gave a slight laugh. He couldn't help it. She asked him that practically every time he appeared before her.

"To tear down the mountain." She arched a brow, but she made no other move. "Tell me something. Why're you a shinigami?"

"Now hardly seems like the time to be asking me something like that."

"It's the only time to ask." Her brows fell together. "Nande? Is it the uniform? The zanpakutoh? What makes a shinigami fight?" Haru considered his question for a moment and bowed her head.

"You really want to know?" Haru's hand fell to her zanpakutoh. Then, after a long moment, her lips parted. "It's not something that can be easily reduced into words, since everyone has their own reasons for fighting. Still…" Her eyes appeared, vibrant and determined. "I feel like I can say it now because I understand. Even if everyone has their own reasons for fighting, they all draw their swords because their position obligates them to. In the end, being a shinigami only means one thing. It's not about killing hollow, if that's what you're wondering. It's about knowing when you want to fight for what you need, and knowing when you need to fight for what you want."

"Sou… souka…" He hunched over and laughed, spitting a mouthful of blood onto the already stained snow. Haru lurched forward, but he held out a hand to still her motions. The understanding loomed in her eyes. It was one she couldn't accept so easily. "Don't you get it, chibi?" Her eyes couldn't quite darken at that irritating nickname, that habit he had of avoiding her name. "That Ulquiorra bastard knew. He knew it all along, where I was sneaking off to. He pushed it just far enough to leave me alive to stagger here and have my ass saved by you, but I won't do it. I'm not going to let you sacrifice yourself for me."

"Grimmjow-san…"

"You still don't get it. Damn... for a kid prodigy, you sure are stupid." Haru jolted again as he coughed, as his fingers curled around the wound in his abdomen, and then looked at her again, one eye appearing through the blood dripping down his forehead. "Aizen knows you'll save me. If you do that, then that uniform you wear won't mean a damn thing. They'll turn on you, same as the espada turned on me. I won't let that happen. If that's the only way I can protect you, then so be it. Though… I'd appreciate it if you could speed things up a bit." Haru's hand shuddered, and she stared at him for a moment before slowly shaking her head and taking a step back. "Chibi…"

"I won't do it!" She said it so vehemently that Saki started. Her tone had changed a lot. She knelt in the snow and bowed her head, then raised her eyes, dry but desperate. "Haven't you learned anything, Grimmjow-san? I'm not here to kill anyone. The sword I wield, and the power I'm reaching for, is only for protecting." He stopped breathing for a moment and stared blankly at her, watching as a smile broke over her face, a glimpse of the girl who had willingly strode into Hueco Mundo. "You've been telling me all this time that I'm the one who doesn't understand. Well, I do. I understand perfectly well. Maybe back then, I didn't know what I got myself into, but I do now, and I really don't give a damn. Even if I had to give up everything, I'd still save you."

"Che…" he scoffed. "That's a pretty high claim, and a stupid one for a shinigami."

"Baka," Haru stated firmly. "I'd do it _because _I'm a shinigami, at least in name. Right now, I know what I need to protect." His expression changed. It became inscrutable, almost scornful. "We both know you didn't come here just because Aizen knew I would save you. You came because somewhere deep inside yourself, you wanted to be saved." His pupils narrowed, and in outrage, he turned his head away. "I'm not going to make you beg. That would be in poor taste considering. But I'm going to need you to tell me what you want, and tell me clearly while you've still got breath in you to do it."

"I don't need your pity."

"Pity has nothing to do with it. If I offer you anything, it's because we're friends."

"You're insane." Her eyes flickered again. Even if the inquiry hadn't been posed directly, even if it had faded away, it still lingered in her eyes. He clenched his fist around the gaping wound in his chest and gritted his teeth as he bowed his head. "I've lived my own way; I'll die my own way. I'll die protecting what I wanted to protect in life." He peered at her for a moment. Although his eyes were dim, they seemed to pick up a flame from hers. His lips moved, but he shut them determinedly, hesitating.

"What do you want from me, Grimmjow-san? Tell me clearly. At least respect yourself enough to do that much."

"Ta…" He paused. It was such a blow to his own pride, he almost didn't say it, but those eyes and their gentle askance finally coaxed it out of him. "Tasukete." Haru blinked as the word cut through the air. "Tasukete," he said again, this time more desperately. She smiled in understanding and lowered her sword, sheathing it with one hasty movement and turning back for a moment. "Haru."

"As you say, Grimmjow Jaegerjacques." The spark in her eyes grew, and she stretched out her hand. "I'll save you since that is what you desire." He tried to say something, but his words faded away, and he fell silent. Slowly, the teal eyes slid shut. Haru watched them as they did, and once she was sure he was unconscious, she turned back.

"Saki, don't tell anyone about this."

"Eh?" Haru folded her hands, and her eyes flashed. The snow around her scattered, and the grass sprang to life. A cloud of mist hung around them, luminescent and carefree, dimly flashing some unidentifiable color.

"Save him," she said. From her tone, it was easy for Saki to see that it was a wish, a wish from the core of her being. Suddenly, the light solidified and sparked, then faded but did not disappear. Haru's eyes remained on Grimmjow, watching as his wounds turned to steam and evaporated. As she stood, the light around her continued to waver, growing in her eyes as she glanced at the sun. _In this moment... and always... the most important thing is protecting those around me. _Her fingers moved, and she reached skyward, the wind blowing her coat off of her shoulders and spreading her hair out. _No matter what. _Saki heard hasty footsteps behind her, but she didn't turn around to see who it was because she was crying. For some reason, her hand was shaking. She wasn't sure why or how, but seeing that display of power, of devotion, put something in her that she had long forgotten.

When Grimmjow stirred and opened his eyes, Haru was the first thing he saw, half facing him, her gaze and arms spread towards the sun, the cross swaying on her wrist, and some strange power pulsing around her, a faint haze that curled with the wind, or else moved the wind itself. It was almost like her will made tangible. Her face held nothing but determination, and when her eye moved toward him, he actually jerked up. Only then did he realize his wounds were gone. He flexed his fingers, touched where he had been mortally wounded, and stared at her with all the bewilderment of a child looking at the ocean for the first time. "Back then, I touched something I probably shouldn't have. Maybe it was a mistake, but..." Haru smiled. "I'm glad I made it." He swallowed and watched as she turned away, as the light faded into nothing, and as Saki let out one sob from behind her hand before falling to her knees.

"Saki-san!" Yoshio knelt and put his hands on her shoulders, then stared up at Haru like the rest of them. Takumi, whose own face was somewhere between desperation and sorrow, stood beside Hinamori, who clutched his arm and looked as if she had remembered her own resurrection. Then, there was Byakuya, whose face was entirely blank, and Hiroto just behind him, who wasn't really sure what to think, so he only looked at her. Masahiro's face remained impassive. "That power just how... what the hell was it?"

"A wish." Yoshio glanced at her, watching as she threw her arm towards the sun and stretched her fingers towards its rays. "That wish will always be there." He blanched at the blood on her bandages. "And until that day when I can stand on my own two feet and fill it proper, all I can do is reach for it." Her arm fell, and she glanced to Grimmjow. "Stay as long as you like, but I suggest coming in if you don't want to freeze to death." Just then, he realized that her words were vapor even though the grass around him was in the bloom of life. His eyes shot to her again as she walked calmly forward. "Saki-san, are you alright?" She wiped her eyes and looked at Haru, who gave a gentle smile that echoed who she was. "Please get Grimmjow-san some tea and show him inside." Something sparked in Saki's eyes. "What is it?"

"That power just now—" Haru smiled and pressed her finger to her lips, then leapt over the banister and strode in, stretching her arms calmly and pacing inside.

"I'm taking a bath. I'll be out in an hour. I need a good, long soak." She glanced at Byakuya. "Are you coming?" He turned and followed her without a word. When Yoshio managed half an objection, Haru turned back. "Say a word, and I'll crack your damn skull open. Besides, doing something like that here would be in pretty bad taste."

"It could be fun," Byakuya posited.

"Don't even think about it," Haru retorted, setting her hands on her hips in mock irritation. They disappeared around the corner, still exchanging a few sparse words. For a moment, no one moved. They were too startled to. Then, Masahiro slammed his walking stick on the ground and jolted them all to attention.

"Saki, ready another guest room."

"What? You can't be serious!"

"Not like I'd go in anyway."

"Really, now?" Takumi demanded, folding his arms. "I think you've been in here once before."

"You shut up!"

"Come on, Grimmjow. You tried taking this eye, but I can still see right through you." He strode forward with a calm look on his face. "Inside, we're both the same: a little wild, a little cutthroat, and desperate to protect her, so you may as well quit fighting it." Takumi thrust out a hand, and Grimmjow, and his face curled into a contemptuous grimace. There was no condescending in the gesture, no questioning, and the intent was entirely obvious to everyone present. He recoiled, then he saw it, the feline vein sliding through the light in Takumi's eye. His eye fell slightly shut, and the wind around him picked up. He couldn't explain what he knew or how he had found out, but he knew it. He reached out and grabbed the hand that was offered to him. Takumi smiled and bowed his head. "Welcome to the other side, Grimmjow Jaegerjacques."

* * *

><p>Haru fell to her knees and clutched her arm, drawing slow breaths to still the strange things stirring inside of her. She barely felt her damp hair clinging to the side of her face, or the heat remaining from the bath drifting into the cold, empty air around her. For a moment, she thought... but no. It wouldn't break that quickly. Saki had said it herself. It would take a day or two, but eventually...<p>

_I don't want to lose that feeling. _She pressed her forehead against the floor and reached out towards her zanpakutoh. _I don't... want to forget... I don't want to walk through this life reacting blandly to things. _

_Then make a wish. _The words shattered through her consciousness, and her eyes shot open. Her other hand was digging at her chest. She could hear herself breathing hard, and her yukata had parted enough for her to get a hold of the ring Byakuya had given her. _Make a wish. _

_No._

_Your body is screaming in pain. Use me._

_No, _she said again. _I won't. This is my power. Mine. I won't let anyone interfere. _Her breath hitched as her world became a haze of pain again.

_He wanted you to use me._

_He wouldn't..._

_But he did. _Haru let out a choked sound as her heart throbbed. _Why else would he drug you like that? _She pushed herself onto all fours and sank back, her fingers curling and sliding against the floor as tears streamed down her face. _He knows, as I do, that the power will more than likely destroy you. _Haru's eyes fell shut, and she tried calling Suzaku. _She can't hear you. _Her eyes opened, and she glanced at her sword. The surface looked duller than usual, and the ends of the ribbon tied around the hilt were turning to blue-white embers. _See? It has already begun. _Haru drew a slow breath as the pain subsided. _I am all you have left. _She stretched out a hand and wrapped it around her sword's hilt, then wrapped the other around the sheath and leaned forward, pressing her head against it. She wanted to scream, but she couldn't, because that would mean being heard, and right now, she wanted to understand the true magnitude of the silence inside of her. The frustration in her chest sat there like a rock, crushing her.

_Tasukete... _she thought, gritting her teeth and parting them only long enough for a breath to slip past. _Tasukete..._

_Ask me to save you. _Her breath hitched, and she sat up, wiping her face with her sleeve and letting it linger there for a long moment.

_No. _Her eyes flickered silver in the dim light, and she wrapped her hands around her sword again. _I don't need you to save me._

_Do you think your friends can save you?_

_No, _she answered calmly, silently. _But Suzaku can. And she will. _She said it in her own mind with unshakable confidence and looked at her sword again. The ends of the ribbon had fizzled out... for the moment. She sighed and stood, then untied her yukata and slid it down off of her shoulders. She heard the door slide open and half turned, then breathed in relief when she saw it was only Saki. She slowly turned again, staring at her own shadow spread across the floor.

"Haru-dono."

"Yes?"

"Just now, your determination was so thick, I could almost see it." Saki closed the door and stepped forward. "What were you thinking?"

"Nothing important," she answered. The door closed, and Saki flipped a light on.

"Good gods, Haru-dono. What is with that tattoo?"

"It's not a tattoo." She felt Saki standing behind her. "It's a limiter."

"Limiter?"

"Hai," she answered, pulling the yukata back up. "It's kept me alive since my zanpakutoh awakened." She fell silent almost immediately. Her eyes locked on the floor, and something strange washed over them.

"What are you thinking, Haru-dono?"

"I was only thinking... of how I should break the news to the other captains that I'm harboring a hollow."

"Seriously?"

"Well, that, and other things. Like how coming into this power might change who I am, or destroy me altogether."

"I'm not a fool, Haru-dono," Saki murmured "You were thinking about something even more serious."

"Hmm..." She smiled and shook her head, pushing her hair behind her ear. "Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"Maybe there is something more serious than ignis solus on my mind." There was an edge in her voice and an eerie glint in her eye. She shut them, knowing the sort of look she had, and sighed. "Gomen. I know people hate that look." She pinched the bridge of her hose and shook her head. "Everyone tells me I look terrifying when a certain emotional chord reverberates in me." She stopped and gave a slight laugh. "I think I finally have a name for it after all these years."

"What is it?" She turned her eyes slowly.

"Instinct." She glanced up at Saki. Her hair and eyes held the same wild luminescence. Saki looked at her for a long moment, then smiled.

"Like whenever that thing you want to hide most lies naked and exposed."

"Like when a hundred hollow are breathing down your back, and their jaws preparing to shut on you."

"Like when the moon turns red and you're flying from rooftop to rooftop, free of everything, bound by nothing, but running from the very truth you shut away."

"That's it." Haru stood and smiled, then wound her hands behind her back. "It has to be a red moon. There are many moments when the moon is white, but when it's red... yes, I feel like a red moon." She glanced at Saki. "A red moon that wants to be white." The servant gave her a questioning look. "And a white moon that wants to be red." Haru breathed a slow breath and threw her yukata to the floor, then pulled the closet doors open. _But the truth of the matter is that moon can never be all red or all white. It's a moon with three faces: the face that the world sees, the face that the family sees, and the thin edge between them that I'm standing on. _She touched her arm and winced, then set her expression and turned to Saki, who stared into Haru's face. "For tonight... just for tonight... let me be the red moon."

"Haru-dono." She started pulling various articles of clothing on, and Saki pressed her lips together.

"Just for tonight," she said again, tying the obi, sliding her weapons by her sides, and pulling her left glove up her arm. She did the same with her right and slipped her arms into her captain's haori. "When the clouds drift away and I'm bled dry and white, remember that face I showed you, and remember that the fire in me doesn't burn out with my last breath."

* * *

><p>As soon as Haru stepped into the room, it fell dead silent. Grimmjow had half drawn his sword, and Yoshio had been threatening something. But with her first step into the chamber, all the words died away. They looked at her, saw the calm expression on her face as she paced forward and lowered herself onto the cushion, murmured her thanks for the meal, and started drinking the miso soup. She breathed a long sigh as it warmed her insides and smiled, then noted that the room was still silent and opened her eyes. She could have said something, anything, but she didn't. She simply shut her eyes and returned to enjoying her meal in peace. Byakuya's lips parted, but he couldn't get a single sound out before one violet eye locked on his. His words fell apart before he could utter a single one. She set her bowl down and sighed, then ate her rice. Hiroto was unaware of the serious nature of her silence and started eating his fish. Everyone else followed suit one by one, even Grimmjow. Haru paced her bites so she finished last, then clapped her hands together and gave her thanks and opened her eyes.<p>

"Where is ojii-sama?" Haru asked, focusing her eyes on Yoshio.

"He's indisposed. Something about feeling his age. At any rate, he's shut up in his room with enough pages to repaper every window in this house."

"Is... that so?" She murmured it slowly, as if tasting the syllables as she spoke them. "Then I suppose that puts me in charge tonight." The truth of that statement was unshakable. Everyone in the room felt the authority of the words. Byakuya gave her a long look, and she glanced at him briefly before nodding. "Now, let's talk seriously. Grimmjow-san..." Her eyes shot towards the hollow, and he grew ridged. "What exactly do you intend to do now?"

"Eh?"

"It's fine if you aren't sure. You can just stay here."

"What?" Yoshio shouted.

"And you can leave if you feel like it, but while you're here, I expect you to keep your sword sheathed unless you're sparring me or trying to kill another hollow. I won't have you going after anyone who isn't a threat to this estate."

"What—" he started, but Haru cut him off.

"_If _these terms are not agreeable to you, then get the hell out of this house."

"I don't need your pity or your charity!" She gave him a bland look, but a cutting one.

"Don't you understand?" Her voice possessed an incredibly sharp edge. She paused and lowered her eyes, then sighed and looked at him again, this time differently. "Right now, this is all I can do for you. I'm not doing this for you because I feel sorry for you. I'm doing this because I feel sorry for getting you into trouble."

"You didn't get me into anything I didn't want to get into."

"Then consider it a gesture of kindness."

"Huh?" She lifted her hand and thrust a finger at him.

"We're friends. Got it? If you want to argue with me, think of something better to call whatever it is between us before you do. I'm not in the mood to waste my breath on things like labels tonight." Yoshio stammered something incoherent, but Haru ignored him. She folded her hands in her lap and shut her eyes. "I don't call just anyone that, you know. It's a word I reserve not just for people I'm willing to die for, but for those who would die for me as well." She looked at him, making no attempt to read his face. "Live with it until you can think of something else."

"Hell, no! I refuse to call myself the friend of a shinigami!"

"Are you so quick to forget what I told you on that first night?" Something flared up in her eyes. "I'm no shinigami, Grimmjow-san." He sat up and tried to say something, but her pleading look stole his ability to speak, and he finally lowered his head. "Takumi."

"Hai."

"You and Momo-san can have the western guest house to yourselves."

"Huh?" they stammered. They looked at each other, then turned red and looked away. Haru gave a slight laugh and shook her head. Yoshio's expression blackened, as if even the potential for such things irritated him. Grimmjow scoffed, but he grew rigid when Haru's eyes pierced him again.

"I'm sure you want to fight each other, perhaps among other things."

"Taichou!" Hinamori shouted, covering her face. "You make it sound like I came here just for that!"

"Well, you certainly didn't come here just to see how I was doing." Haru laughed and stirred slightly, touching her left arm thoughtfully as the smile on her face faded. "Yoshio, I want you and Hiroto-kun to stay here for four days."

"You couldn't pay me enough money to sleep under the same roof as a hollow!"

"Then take the eastern guest house."

"I can't—"

"Yoshio-san, I have reasons for keeping you and Hiroto-kun close. Please don't question them." Her eyes glinted, and he fell silent. "I'll stay in the main house with Byakuya-sama. Grimmjow-san, go where you please, but if you don't plan on coming back, at least have the courtesy to tell me yourself." Haru sat up and glanced at Byakuya. "That only leaves you. Obviously, you will be sleeping right next to me."

"But Haru-dono, there aren't any other bedrooms in that wing."

"As I said, right next to me." She laid a significance on those words, and Yoshio started sputtering all manner of objections, which Haru didn't even bother interrupting. Byakuya let out the slightest of chuckles as Haru shut her eyes and bowed her head, and Yoshio sputtered a long strong of objections that was broken quite frequently by expletives. Hiroto interrupted with a question.

"I don't get it."

"What is there to get?" Yoshio cried.

"You slept next to mom all the time. Why can't Haru-dono sleep next to him if they're going to get married?" All Yoshio could do was stutter into a halting silence. She raised her eyes and let out a sigh, as if her mind were somewhere else for a moment.

"Oi... you've got that look on your face again," Takumi noted. "I don't know what keeps bringing it up, but whatever it is, you'd better figure it out fast. It doesn't help that you're thinking about two insurmountable problems at the same time." Her eyes fell shut as a thought crossed her mind.

_What if all of this... is because of a wish? _She looked around at the still stupefied Yoshio, the serious but somewhat lighter hearted Hiroto, the secretly elated Takumi and Hinamori, the sulking but relieved Grimmjow, and finally, to the poised noble beside her, and she slowly lowered her eyes. _The last thing I should be doing right now is sitting still. _The thought struck her, and she let out a slight laugh, then pushed her hands over her eyes as the smile spread across her face. "Grimmjow-san."

"What?"

"Do you think the moon is out yet?"

"Probably. The sun sets early here." She got to her feet and turned.

"Follow me." The room fell uncomfortably silent as she slid the door open. "Byakuya-sama, if I'm not in bed by ten, come and get me, will you?"

"What are you going to do?"

"Hmm... I wonder..." She looked at Grimmjow, and something passed through his eyes.

"You're insane." Haru smiled and paced out. She counted her steps. It only took five for Grimmjow to scramble after her and for four pairs of eyes to follow them. Byakuya feigned disinterest. He had no desire to watch them disappear, but he did want to know where they were going. "Chibi..."

"For tonight," she said quietly, with that cold edge in her voice. "Just for tonight, I'm going to fight you as a shinigami." She pushed another door open, and they stepped out into the moonlight and shadows. She flashed onto the roof, and Grimmjow stepped beside her. She lifted her eyes and stared at the moon, her heart jumping in a slow rhythm as the wind stirred. She heard a voice and looked down.

"Oi, taichou! Don't you think you're overdoing it?"

"Takumi's right! If you fight him now, you might not be able to get up at all tomorrow!" Hinamori stood beside him, her hands cupped over her mouth as she shouted the words. She considered them for a moment, but only a moment, before she turned on her heel.

"They plan to stay and watch, you know."

"Let them watch," she said, and Grimmjow knew there was no talking her out of it. She paced to her end of the roof, and he walked towards his. Her boots made no sound, or if they did, the sound was muffled by her vice-captain and third seat imploring her to use some sense, and her cousin demanding that she get down from where she was. She shut everything out, everything but her weapons and her moon. He watched her from a darker corner, his eyes touched by the white orb overhead, and Haru smiled briefly before turning towards her opponent. She felt her weapons and shut her eyes again, breathing a slow breath as she felt the air move. It had that same air as the final blow of any fight. It was heavy, almost oppressively stagnant. Everything was still, even her heart, as it slowed to a stop for one brief moment.

_Suzaku... _Her consciousness rippled.

_Yes?_

_Do you have one more fight in you?_

_I have many fights left, Haru-sama. Do you have one more in you? _Haru didn't answer. She cut through the moment and flashed forward. The sound of their swords falling together sent her heart racing forward again, and she pulled her Seele free, cutting upward and barely missing his shoulder. Its glow lingered in his eyes as he sliced through the air and she shifted her feet to move around and under the blow. She transferred the weight from her right to her left foot and rounded him fast enough to block the sword on the other side.

"Sugoi!" The word came from Hiroto, and it made her smile, but the pressure of her opponent's blade against hers brought a grimace out of her. He suddenly changed the direction of the swing, and Haru staggered backwards, keeping her hand around her zanpakutoh despite the pressure. She caught her balance and looked up just in time to realize that Grimmjow's sword was only an inch away from her neck. Time slowed, and she drew a breath before cutting upward with her Seele and tightening her grasp on both. She sensed the time was right and went on the offensive, aiming her blows accurately, but Grimmjow's timing was impeccable. He shifted forward at the last one and drew his fist back, but Haru had already guessed his move. She bent her knees and leapt over him, turning so she landed on one foot and pushing to the side as his sword came towards her. She moved with the blow rather than against it, tilting her head so the blade shot past, throwing her head back when it changed direction. She watched it pass over her, pushing back with her heel when he came towards her, then stepping to the side and swinging upward with her blade, pushing his back and using the force to change the angle of her movement. She twisted her foot and kicked upward. Her foot caught him under his chin, and he staggered backwards, wiping the blood away from his mouth and shooting forward again. Haru's eyes never left his weapon. They raced along it and fell on his as he swung.

She vanished from sight again. This time, she had simply ducked. _She's picking up my moves a lot faster than I thought. _He swung, and her sword met his. This time, Haru turned her feet inwards and pushed up. His sword moved skyward until he grabbed it with his other hand. At that point, he expected her to release her sword, but she didn't. Her seele slammed against his weapon and pushed him back, arcing through the air. After he recovered, he shot towards her again. This time, Haru's sword met his, and she staggered backwards. He bolted forward to finish things, but he saw something in her eyes in that moment that he hadn't expected. A spark. A strange spark uncannily bright and sharp in the night. He knew it wasn't the moon. The moon didn't flash like that. It was the flame inside her, shifting into existence.

Haru slammed her foot down and moved forward even though his sword was falling towards her shoulder. She side-stepped again, watching as the blade fell against a clay tile, chipping it but not destroying it entirely. He twisted his sword in his hands and cut upwards, but his zanpakutoh cut nothing but air. She had already moved. He turned to meet her sword and was surprised when her blade caught his quite near the hilt. She slid closer, her arm trembling from the pressure he was putting on her weapon. Only that close did he realize how out of breath they truly were. She was gasping, and he was in much the same state, all in only twenty minutes time. Her arm was shaking, and he gritted his teeth, trying to force her to let go. Despite the discomfort she must have felt, she didn't let go, didn't back down, and didn't show any pain on her face. Grimmjow's eyes shifted. Haru's brow arched, and she staggered as he shifted his weight. Her sword fell against the roof. Then, he twisted and cut upwards in such a way that threw her sharply to the left, and from the look on her face, he could tell she was stunned. _I had him... _she thought. _How... how could he turn the tables so fast? _

_Because you were not ready. _Her eyes widened a little more as she felt gravity tugging on her. Her lips parted so she could suck in one breath. _But you are now._

She felt it. As sudden as the storm breaking the calm, she felt it. It flowed through every part of her being. _I am with you, Haru-sama, even when I am silent. In your strength, I exalt you. In your doubts, I carry you. I am the voice in your ear when you are companionless. I am your shadow, always with you, and yet always different from you. I am the wings that pull you up after all your falls. I am your self within yourself. I am... _

Haru's grip tightened, and she slammed her zanpakutoh into its sheath, then shoved against the very last tile of the roof in such a way that nullified the force meant to throw her. Grimmjow's satisfaction changed in an instant to that vicious amusement he sometimes showed. Haru's feet settled, and she crouched down, tilting her sword and shifting her hand so her thumb was at the top. Then, she shot towards him, weaving slightly as she climbed the slope before launching herself above him. He blocked the blow as she swung downwards with both of her weapons, but the force of it nearly brought him to his knees. He gritted his teeth and swung with both hands, but she changed the direction of his swing so it pushed her back. She turned and landed in a crouch before shooting forward again, running that same beeline. _Again? _he thought. Haru spun her Seele and leapt. "It won't work this time!" he shouted, swinging at just the right moment to land what would have been a serious blow had she not thrust her boot against his sword at the last minute and shoved it downwards. Her swords were pointing downwards, and as he twisted his blade free, arched back to avoid most of the blow. It cut one of her arms, and a bit of blood dripped onto the snow, but by the time he could ready his weapon again, she had made three successive cuts: one with her sword to loosen his grip, another with the seele to strip him of it, and a third with her sheathed sword. The last was nothing but a tap, but that tap was just hard enough to decimate any chance he had of grabbing the roof's edge and pulling himself back up. He landed in a heap in the snow, tumbling for a bit before winding up on his stomach. He stayed there for a minute, his head spinning wildly, until a shadow neared his.

"You okay?" Takumi asked. Grimmjow picked himself up and looked upwards at the shadow on the roof. Her face was turned upwards in such a way that failed to illuminate her expression, and the weapons at her sides were vibrating faintly. Her lips were parted, sucking breath in slow gasps. He could almost hear the hum. It made him quiver slightly, or maybe it was just the cold. The wind stirred, and Takumi's head snapped up, his eyes locked on his captain. He could almost read her thoughts, they were so tangible.

_I get it now. _She sighed as she pulled Suzaku from its sheath. _I understand... _Her reiatsu shifted, and the wind changed directions. _The reason I lost your voice. It's because I denied myself again, isn't it? _She felt something ripple inside of her and shut her eyes. _In the garden of lotuses and rain, there can only be one truth. _Her hand tightened, and her reiatsu flickered. _That truth is simply this: I am not a shinigami. I am not a quincy. There is no name for what I am. _Her pulse hammered, and it happened without warning. Her sword shuddered in her hand, and a faint halo of her reiatsu appeared. _But even so, I have a purpose in this world. I don't know whether some other being, some higher power, gave me that purpose, or if in my desperate yearning for order in my chaotic life, I created it for myself. _Her hands moved as she pointed both weapons outward. _Regardless of that, it is the only purpose I know, and if this is what it takes to fulfill that purpose, then... _Her blades moved one over the other until her arms were crossed at the wrist. _Then, so be it. _Her heart slammed in her chest, and she felt the pain rattle through her bones. _It hurts... _Her grasp tightened and she staggered. _It hurts... that kind of loneliness. _Her eyes fell shut as she felt the fire biting into her palms. _And yet, lonely as I feel, I know... that of all the things I am, alone is not one of them. How it must be unbearable... when the opposite is true. _She gritted her teeth and locked her jaws together, but for all her efforts, she couldn't stop her lips from parting to let in a rush of air that felt like a dagger of ice sliding down her throat. _It's sad... so... unbearably sad..._

"Haru!"

"Shit..." Takumi moved to leap forward, but before he could, he felt a hand on his shoulder and saw a blur shoot past him. It bounded forward and grabbed her hand as she tipped back, moving carefully around the sword that she wouldn't let go of. She felt her feet slide against the roof and her body dangling precariously, and when she looked up, she saw in those moon-filled eyes a perfect reflection of herself. Her surprise waned into irritation as he tipped his weight and pulled her into a standing position. She found her own footing and gave her sword a test swing, then sheathed her weapons and breathed a slow sigh, flexing her fingers.

"So... how is it?" She glanced at him. "Ignis solus, I mean." The way he said it made a stream of memories flicker through her mind. In that moment, she wanted more than nothing to crack his damn skull open, but her pride held her back. He had just spared her a fall that could have broken her neck. Her mind went entirely blank as his eye fell on her—the eye of someone who knew too much. She felt the wind shift and stepped in front of him, flicking her sword and sending a blue stream of flames into the air that tangled with the wind and eventually wrestled it to a resting state. She still felt that unseen power as it slid around her and cut the bandage from one of her arms. She winced slightly and turned her weight so her bandaged arm was still facing him. She was gripping her seele so tight that her hands were bleeding, and she never once moved her eyes. They only fell on Takumi, who knew instantly he had done something regrettable, but who, in his anger, only felt his rebellious streak run rampant.

"Why?" he demanded. "Why are you protecting him?" Something slid through her eyes, and he remembered. He remembered through that haze of sake the look that he had been given. It was the same look. The exact same. She sighed and turned her eyes to him, and smiled.

"Arigatou." He flinched. "It's true that I want to protect a lot of people in this world, but at the end of things, I think you were the only one who could give me a reason to keep my emotions through everything." She bowed her head slightly and turned, leaving Hajime standing rigidly in place. Without thinking, he reached out and wrapped a hand around her arm.

"Why... are you protecting me?" The lonely edge in his voice ground against her nerves. "Why... someone like me..."

"Isn't it obvious?"

"Demo!" Haru's eyes cut into him. "De... demo..." They flashed slightly, and she closed her hand.

"Takumi, you shouldn't point your sword at your friends."

"Taichou!"

"Unless you're sparring them. Then, I suppose it's alright. But I've fought with you long enough to see when a blow has killing intent behind it."

"You know what he did, right?"

"I'm aware, and frankly, I couldn't care less." She sheathed her sword and wrapped her hand around her arm, then jumped off the roof, landing in the snow and whirling towards the house. "You can stay if you want. But stop telling people where I am, and stop trying to deter me. Oh, and you probably shouldn't sneak around. Otherwise, someone might take off your head." His mouth fell open a little, and then curled into a smile as he bowed his head to shade his eyes.

"Demo!" Takumi objected.

"Don't ask me," she said in that unmovable tone. She hopped up and tapped her feet on the wood, then walked towards Byakuya, who had something prepared to say but found himself suddenly mute when Haru all but fell against his shoulder.

"Haru-kun."

"Tsukareta." His eyes fell to her hand, and he saw the blood seeping through them. "That's why... I'll have to borrow your shoulder for a minute." With as much weight as she was putting on it, he suspected she was more than tired. She just wasn't saying anything about it so she wouldn't worry anyone any more than she already had. She was shaking slightly, and her breathing hitched every now and then. As for the hand wrapped around her arm, it trembled and tightened as she pushed harder against him and bit back a hiss.

"Take her inside," Yoshio said firmly. "Hopefully, I can clear up the mess out here without too much trouble." He looked at Haru, whose vibrant eye shot towards him. "Any orders you want to leave me with, Haru-dono?" Hiroto peeped out from behind his leg and studied Haru for a moment before glancing up to the figure on the roof, then back to Haru. She lifted a finger to her lips and gathered her strength, then moved forward in a slight stagger.

"Nothing aside from what I've already said except this: if anyone draws a sword before I'm conscious enough to stop them, I'll be cracking skulls. That includes Saki-san."

"Understood," Yoshio called. Hiroto tugged on his father's pant leg, this time more vigorously than the first, and Yoshio looked down.

"Tousan, tousan..."

"Hai, hai... what is it?"

"Look." Hiroto pointed at the shinigami who had descended, his head still bowed, but in the moonlight, he could see something almost recognizable in that face. He turned to glance back at Haru, but she was already gone. Whatever it was could probably wait until after he had cleared out the garden and put his son to bed. But by the time he did all those things, it didn't even matter enough to give a second thought.

* * *

><p>For the second time that day, Haru knelt and gritted her teeth, her hand tightening around her arm. Her forehead touched the floor, and she felt tears seeping out of her eyes. She tasted blood on her lip from where she bit it. The whole time, Byakuya said nothing. He simply watched her until he was sure it was safe to approach. Then, he knelt and touched the back of her neck. At the sensation, she stirred and glanced up at him. "What should I do, Haru-kun?" She forced herself to her knees and tipped her head back, gasping in gulps of the darkness. He touched her face, and she looked at him, her eyes practically glowing. Without a word, he wiped the blood away with his thumb and kissed her.<p>

"Idiot... if you do that..." But he ignored her protests and silenced her, and he didn't let up until he heard her hand hit the floor. He pulled away slowly and pressed their foreheads together, then sank into that poised seizan he had mastered with centuries of practice. His eyes darted away from her face for an instant, then moved back.

"A mirror."

"Eh?"

"No, it's nothing." Byakuya shook his head and rummaged around the room until he found a roll of bandages.

"How long will that bleed?"

"Not long."

"Do you feel alright?"

"To be honest..." Her voice trailed off, and her eyes wandered to a far corner of the room. "Everything feels a bit... gray." Byakuya's hand jolted for a moment. "But the fact that I know that means I'll probably be fine after sleeping." He relaxed a little bit as he stared at her face, then leaned forward and pressed his forehead against her temple. Haru felt the tip of his nose resting against her cheek and smiled. "Don't worry."

"You say that without realizing just how impossible it is." Haru smiled and folded her hands, then jolted as his arms wound around her. "Haru-kun..." His voice dropped to a whisper. "I am not fearless. You know this. I tell you now, the thing I fear the most in this world is not losing you to death but losing you to your own pride." Haru looked at him. "I understand why you keep me at arm's length these days. It is because you have grown weary of my company."

"I'm not sure if it's possible to do such a thing."

"Weary of my pride, then..."

"Byakuya-sama, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with Hajime." He drew away incredulously. "It's not my own secret I'm afraid of having you find. It's his. The words he said to me that day..." Her eyes flickered, and she glanced up at him. "To be honest, I've been trying to figure out what to do with them ever since he said them, especially since he hasn't spoken that way to anyone else, but now, I'm beginning to understand."

"Haru—"

"You don't need to accept it, and you don't need to worry. When the time comes, I'm sure you'll understand why I kept quiet." Haru's fingers brushed against his neck, and his tongue got tangled as soon as he attempted to speak again. Fortunately, he got the feeling that all she wanted was his presence. She kept her eyes closed as he wound the bandages. "If he hasn't spoken up by the end of things—"

"Don't speak so seriously, Haru-kun."

"If he hasn't," she repeated, looking up at him. "It might be selfish, but I'll tell you what he said." She fell against his shoulder again. "Damn... I'm seriously tired."

"Why did you fight that hollow, then?" Haru burrowed against his shoulder, and Byakuya stroked the back of her head slowly. "You said before you left that you always had a reason." Haru stirred slightly and sank down a little further. "Please tell me."

"Those fights under the moon... they aren't just for me." She sank down a little lower until her head rested on his knees and turned over, casting her weary eyes up at him. "True, I wanted to know the way of the hollow. I wanted to reach for something I didn't admire, that I didn't fully understand. But that was only half the reason. When I found him in the garden, cut up and bleeding, Grimmjow-san asked me..." She sighed and lifted her hand, and Byakuya helped it to the side of his face. "He asked me what made a shinigami fight. So, I wanted to show him the reason he has recently become interested in."

"You will make him stronger."

"He made me stronger, too." Haru smiled and flexed her fingers, and Byakuya pressed his hand to her lips. "It's the same with Takumi. It's the same with you. We fight to make each other stronger, so we can all uphold our own reasons." She felt his lips fall away and lowered her hand as she rolled onto her side, rubbing her eyes. Haru felt the ground fall away for a moment. Then, she felt something soft underneath her knees.

"At least change into this," Byakuya insisted, holding out her sleeping yukata. She took it and nodded, watching as he turned away. Other than the rustling of fabric and her breathing, he heard nothing but silence, and he saw nothing but the moon-painted wall in front of him as they both changed. When she finished, he turned around and knelt on the futon before her, resting a hand on the top of her head, sliding his hand down to touch her lip with his thumb, and moving forward to kiss her again. She slid under the futon and curled against him, resting her head in the crook of his arm as she always did. The only differences between this night and the nights of late was the peaceful look on her face as she drifted off and the fact that, as Haru slipped out of consciousness and into a deep sleep, Byakuya followed right on her heels.

* * *

><p>"Takumi!" Hinamori grabbed his arm and tried to restrain him. Unfortunately, the damage was already done. Hajime was sprawled out on the ground, blood running from the corner of his mouth. "That's enough! You remember what Yoshio-san said."<p>

"I don't give two shits what he said."

"That's enough already!"

"She said I couldn't use my sword. She didn't say anything about my fists!" He jerked his arm free, but Hinamori wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face in his back. Hajime watched, and as he watched, Takumi's temper only grew more intense. "Why the hell are you looking at me as if you can see right through me?" Hajime pressed his lips together and threw his gaze away. "What gave you any right... to meddle in what she planned? What gives you the right to save her after your medications almost drove her out of her mind? And you have the audacity to show your face after all that!"

"Takumi, stop!" Hinamori shouted as he pulled forward.

"Die. Freaking die in the gutter you crawled out of, you rukongai bastard!" Hajime's eye snapped open, and suddenly, he looked a little less helpless, less forgiving. Takumi stopped struggling, and Hinamori let go of him, but she couldn't move fast enough to get between them as Hajime threw his fist against Takumi's face. The vice-captain stumbled backwards, but instead of falling to his knees, he launched himself forward and returned the blow. Hajime staggered, but he regained his footing quickly enough to wrestle Takumi to the ground.

"Yamete!" But Hinamori's shouts were ineffective. Hajime caught Takumi's fist and swung his own in a way that knocked Takumi off of him. Then, he grabbed the front of his uniform and slammed him against the wall, but before he could get a word in edgewise, Takumi threw him back with another punch and followed with one that sent him sinking to the ground. He tried to struggle up, but before he could, Takumi slammed him against the wall, threw him down, and pinned him.

"You're the worst. The absolute worst. People like you shouldn't exist in this world." Hajime struggled for a moment, but it was in vain. "I hated you. I hated you for what you did to my eye back then. But back then, I called you something that kept me from hating you." Hajime twisted his arm free and grabbed Takumi's shoulder, then pulled himself up and slammed his head against the shinigami holding him down. Blood ran down his forehead. His blood. Takumi's blood. Iron and air.

"It's true I'm a terrible person." His visible eye glinted, and he touched the bandage over his right. "What I did to you back then wasn't an accident. No matter how I deny it, some part of me wanted to blind that eye. Even so." Hajime shot around the fist and shoved Takumi back. "You had no right to say what you just did!" He moved to thrust a knee into Takumi's stomach, but before he could, he was on his back again, gasping for breath and suddenly feeling a little ill. He clawed at the floor as Takumi's grasp bit into his shoulder. While he was flailing and trying to get free, he knocked Takumi's eye patch off, and the blood red eye sank into him.

"Do you know how it feels? Do you know how it feels to have your eye ripped out?" Hajime felt a wash of fear rush through him, but he didn't move.

"Takumi, don't do it!"

"The pain I'm about to give you... it hurts a hell of a lot less than seeing a billion horrible fates and not being able to change a single one of them."

"Don't!"

"At least give me the satisfaction of seeing your whole face twist in pain when I do it." With one swipe, he had stripped Hajime of the square bandage over his right eye despite his best efforts to prevent it. Takumi's hand rose again and prepared to fall, but it couldn't move. It was paralyzed by the shock of color that wracked his entire body. Hinamori had pressed her hand over her mouth as she watched the emotions flicker one after the other on Takumi's face as he realized that Hajime wasn't struggling at all. He had turned his head to the side, and even from there, she could see it. It wasn't looking at her, but at some empty corner of the room.

"A long time ago..." Hajime's voice had an iron edge to it, and he turned his head to look at Takumi with both eyes. The hand hanging in the air shuddered. He was an open book with just that glance, and as he spoke, Takumi felt them echo off the pages he had read earlier in the week. "There was a family of shinigami who could see the world as it is. Their leader's sight was unflawed. As a result, he gained favor and ranking, and while it did his family a great good in terms of wealth, in other aspects, it proved to be more deadly than any weapon ever forged. Some people sought to use him for their evil purposes or their own gain, but because of his perfect sight, he never once fell for their tricks. For all his sight, there was one enemy he could not defeat." Hajime paused and turned his eyes to Takumi. "Fate." The word struck him, and his hand quivered, then slowly began to fall to his side without attacking. "Some thought the power was dangerous. Some sought to blind him, or sully his reputation. At last, with the birth of his first child only days away, he was severely wounded. On his death bed, he said to his most trusted friend, 'Take the power of my right eye and see the world for what it is, and keep it safe lest my family falls.' So, his friend took the power and fled. The man died, and the child was born, and the man's friend had a child who, after his father's death, gained his power, and the family went on seeing, and his friend's family went on seeing, both knowing that they were fated to meet again under unclear circumstances." Hajime shut his eyes and sighed. Then, he added something that hadn't been written in those pages. "The name of the man who gave his eye was Fujiwara. The name of the one who received it... was Tokazawa."

"Toka... zawa?" Hajime's fist shot upward and knocked Takumi back, and before he could launch himself forward, Hinamori had wrapped her arms around him.

"Don't fight anymore. Please don't fight anymore." She was shaking. Hajime gazed at her in the darkness. Through the blood and bruises, he almost looked apologetic. He pulled himself to his feet and staggered towards the door, using the wall for support.

He didn't turn back. He didn't stop moving. But if he had, he would have seen Takumi, sitting where he was with his eyes frozen wide open, with tears seeping out of them, and with his hand stretched out as if to call back time itself. Instead, he left with that heavy feeling in his chest and a single thought lodged in his mind. _There is no place in this world... for someone like me. _Yet for all his despair, the one who called himself Shimori Hajime found sleep faster than he thought he would.

* * *

><p>Congratulations, and welcome back! I hope you've enjoyed your ride on Chapter 17. Please feel free to relive the experience as many times as you want. To be honest, I feel like that last page or so is really intense. As a reward for getting to the end, have a cookie and a Japanese lesson.<p>

Kuso: Japanese swear word. And when I lead a Japanese lesson off with that one, you know it was a good chapter. *evil laughter*

Baka: Idiot

Hajimemashite: Nice to meet you

Aishiteru yo: A pretty darn strong declaration of love.

Arigatou: Thanks

Nande: Why

Chotto matte: Wait a minute

Demo: But

Nani: What

Souka: I see

Tasukete: Save me, or help me. I've seen it translated both ways.

Hai: Yes

Gomen: Sorry

Sugoi: Awesome

Tsukareta: I'm tired; I'm exhausted

Yamete: Stop it

Until next chapter, please take care, and thank you again for reading!


	18. Chapter 18: Equality

A/N: Ah, now that I'm on the other side of November, I can finally post. November is the month of ultimate chaos, especially this year. I took a language exam and wrote a novel. But I think it's time to (finally) post another chapter. I'm hoping to get this close to finished by the end of this year. I'll spare you all my usual long-winded apologies and thank you for your patience.

Special thanks to my reviewers: animelover56348 and Almathia. Only two reviews. Sad, empty review box. I blame myself because I haven't updated a lot lately. Please review? ^_^ I could write some one-shot requests or something. I dunno. If anyone cares, shoot me a message.

Another massive thanks for the massive wait. And here it is!

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 18: Equality<em>

When Grimmjow awakened after a slumber that felt like it had stretched on for too long, his first reaction was panic. The bed wasn't his, the room wasn't his, and the blinding light drifting through the window wasn't the pale moon he was accustomed to looking at. As soon as he sat up, he hunched over as his muscles screamed in agony, and with the rush of air came the rush of memories. He pressed a hand over his eyes, tried to forget them, found himself haunted. With a growl, he picked up his jacket and slung it over his shoulder.

Guided only by instinct, and with a few wrong turns, he finally found the door to the garden and pushed it open, slipping through it in complete silence and soundlessly pacing around the covered balcony. He only paused when he realized that he wasn't alone. Suspicion made him recoil into the shadows, but when those eyes fell on him, those vibrant violet eyes from the reclining figure on the roof, he forgot his caution. After a moment, she turned back to the blue sky overhead. Curiosity roused him, and he slid the coat over his shoulders before using sonido and appearing behind her head on the roof. While she was resting with her hands folded behind her head, he knelt and thrust his own head between her gaze and the sky. Her eyes were shut, but a smile graced her features.

"Some sleep," she said. "I only wish I'd been able to run away into sleep when I had been in Hueco Mundo. It would have made things easier." Two slivers of violet appeared. "What brings you up here? Is the house too quiet? My grandfather is out on business. Yoshio-san is with him. Takumi and Hinamori haven't made an appearance yet. Neither has Hajime. And Byakuya-sama is out doing his paperwork, but he said he would be back this evening." Suddenly, her face turned wry. "It's your fault he wants to spar me this evening. After seeing me fight you last night, it was all he talked about this morning. But, I guess that's fine." She gave a slight laugh and sat up, but Grimmjow didn't move. He had measured the distance between them so if she sat up, their heads wouldn't collide. She crossed her legs at the ankles and peered at him over her shoulder. "You're really quiet. What's up?"

"I decided what to call it."

"Eh?" she asked, tilting her head.

"We're not friends." Haru arched a brow. "We're equals. Got it?" She turned away for a minute, then tilted her head and gave him a blatant look of inquiry. "I said we're equals! So don't go calling it that other name or whatever! I had friends once, but this feels different."

"But—"

"Don't 'but' me! I say we're equals, so we're equals! You got a problem with that? Too damn bad! I didn't say you had a choice!"

"Alright." His posture straightened at the calm nature of her response. "It is what it is, right?" He was completely taken aback. He hadn't expected Haru to say that so quickly. "Why are you here, Grimmjow-san?"

"This place is weird. That's reason enough." She nodded in understanding and stared at the crisp blue horizon. "Anyway, I didn't come in until late. I think something happened between your vice-captain and that other shinigami."

"You mean Hajime?"

"Yeah. He was beat up pretty bad. And he had this real serious look on his face, kind of like the one you had sometimes in Hueco Mundo. I thought only you could make a face like that." Grimmjow looked at her to gauge her reaction, but her expression remained steady. He grinned and patted her head despite her attempts to bat his arm away. "Anyway, at least I know I've got nothing to worry about from you. When you make that face, it's because you really want to protect something. But with him..." Haru stared up at him as his hand stopped moving and his eyes drifted off. "Maybe that look's only half yours. I've seen the other half on a face I don't want to remember." She straightened as he looked back to her. "Be careful." Everything froze for a moment as the words sank into her. Then, she swatted his arm away and stood up, marching towards the edge of the roof.

"Likewise," she murmured, just loud enough for him to hear. "Don't make connections needlessly. Equal or not, if you cause trouble, I will crack your damn skull open." Those were the words she left him with, and in the end, those were the words he shrugged off in favor of leaning back and enjoying the view she had just abandoned.

Haru cracked the door to the library, first peering quickly inside, then pushing it open entirely and fixing her eyes on the lump of blankets on the sofa. She pushed the door shut behind her, turning the lock as she did so, and crept forward across the wooden floor. She pulled a book off the shelf at random, a volume of British poetry, placing herself in an armchair across from the sofa. She couldn't focus, though. She peered at the heap again, and it stirred slightly as if aware of her look. With a sigh, she shut the book and leaned back, hanging her head over one arm and her legs over the other. "What happened?"

"Nothing," came the muffled reply.

"If it's nothing, you should show me your face."

"That's the problem. If you see, you'll be upset." Haru smiled and picked up the book off of her stomach, skimming the text with only half interest, but she soon fell right into it, forgetting where she was. It wasn't often she got to do that, but the thing that jarred her out of those wasn't the sound of her voice or the emergence of the person she was seeking. It was the cold, dark realization that that was probably the last time she would ever do something like that. The book fell out of her hands to the floor, and she hung her arm over the edge, groping for it, but she stopped when she saw the face staring at her from under the covers, the shattered expression of longing and confusion. Her lips fell open slightly, then broke into a smile. "You shouldn't pick fights with my vice-captain. Maybe he's not as strong as me in some ways, but he's still got enough fight in him to keep himself alive." She studied his face for a moment, then sat up, smoothing her hair. "And you shouldn't interfere with me either. I know why you did it, and I understand, but Takumi... he's a little more hotheaded than I am. He chose me because somewhere deep inside of himself, he thought that I could rise to an impossible height. If you get in the way of that, of course he's going to get pissed."

"I almost killed him last night." Haru tried to look into his eyes, but they fell away, full of that bitter smile. "He said something completely inexcusable, and I almost lost it. If I'd had a knife, he would've been dead. And knowing that..." He covered them, running two fingers over the scratch on his right cheek and the bruises on his left. "Knowing that... is probably the scariest thing."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean it was so easy back in Rukongai, moving from day to day without even blinking regardless of blood spilt and bruises earned. That's the kind of person I was before..." His voice drifted off, and he lowered his head in a moment of silent reverence. "Tokazawa Misuzu... I don't blame her for leaving me there. It was probably the best thing for me. I got to live as a normal shinigami for my first sixteen years in Soul Society. When Shimori-san pulled me out of that darkness and I set eyes on daylight for the first time, I thought, 'So, this is what it's like to live.'" His smile faded. "And after sixteen years, for the first time, I'm realizing that's just not the way the world works. You don't leave Rukongai behind. It follows you forever, no matter where you go or what you become."

"Hajime..." She stopped when he glanced up at her, his left eye a muted shade of brown, his right a clear, crisp ring of violet.

"There's nothing left of that life." Hajime laughed and pushed his hands over his face. "Shimori is dead. My friendship with Takumi is all but finished. My place in the fourth division is in jeopardy. But Rukongai... will always be there." He laughed again, but it soon fell silent, and his smile fell away with a sharp breath. "I never wanted you to know. But that day, I realized I had no choice but to tell you, because you would eventually find the truth yourself if I let you have that book. I was so afraid you would hate me for it. But I think... maybe... the real reason I did it... was because some part of me knew I would lose everything else before the end." He jolted slightly as a pair of arms wrapped around his neck and a soft voice fell against his ear.

"I could never hate you, aniki." That word shot through him, and he shuddered.

"Can you really say that? I don't even know who I am anymore."

"I don't care who you are." Haru smiled and stroked the back of his head. "It's okay to show me your weak side. I won't take advantage of it." Hajime's head fell against her shoulder, and he pressed against it so hard that she thought it may leave an impression.

"That day... Shimori-san found me... I knew if I wanted to live in Soul Society, I would have to seal all of that strength away and pretend I never had it, so I did. And for as long as I was at the academy, no one ever knew I had spilt blood. Aside from that day I tried to take Takumi's eye, I was just a normal shinigami with an extremely high proficiency in kidou and a sword that made barriers." He paused, and Haru looked down at him. "Do you think it was wrong?"

Her fingers brushed against the back of his neck. "Some things go beyond classifying as right and wrong. Maybe like me saving Grimmjow-san, this is one of them." She felt him lift his face and stared at her. The bruise on the side of his face was discolored, and the scratch underneath his right eye was red and angry. His expression was lost, yet not aware of being lost. "Get some rest. You don't look like you slept." Haru had turned and started to leave, but a hand clamped down on her wrist and brought her to a stop.

"Are you still planning to fight Ulquiorra in two days?" Haru didn't answer, but Hajime felt her response creep through her reiatsu. "You shouldn't." She gave him a bland look, as if to ask what the worst that could happen was, but his fingers clutched her wrist tighter. "I'm serious. If you do..." His voice trailed off, and he looked for the words to explain himself, but Haru smiled and touched his shoulder before he could, then slipped out of his grasp and shut the door behind her. He stared at it for a long time, half expecting her to reappear, but she didn't. In the end, he couldn't decide whether or not she understood what he had tried to tell her, or if she even cared to. _So... _he thought, smiling and picking up the book off the floor, then losing himself in the lines on the page. _That is what it's like to live. _

Time crawled by. There was an uncomfortable peace wherever Haru went. It seemed to have spread over her entire estate, and it stayed, no matter how far away she went, or who she was with. Most time she spent alone with her thoughts. With every second that ticked by, she could feel it in her beating heart. Sometimes, she rested a hand over her arm and squeezed it. Sometimes, it was her heart that hurt. It was all silence and separation. Sometimes, in the evenings, she would play her violin in an empty room and imagine she heard a creeping in the hallway. At times like those, she didn't care who it was. The music was enough to connect her to her eavesdropper, and that was enough.

Time crawled by despite the stagnation surrounding her.

But it crawled too fast.

She woke up early as a bite of pain wracked her being and shoved herself up with a groan. "Haru-kun, are you in pain?" Byakuya asked. She stared at his face, at the way his eyes were closed and his expression was completely relaxed. "Should you really be fighting an espada in that condition?" She shifted her eyes away. For the first time since her last conversation with Hajime, she began to wonder what that warning was. This time, though, she had a verbal parry ready.

"Regardless of the consequences, taking care of Ulquiorra-san today is top priority. He hurt my division, my friends, and my pride. And that is unforgivable." A ghost of a smile appeared as he sat up and leaned forward, setting his lips against hers softly, and he almost drew back when she threw her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. She could feel it... the sudden change in his heartbeat, the subtle shift in his reiatsu, the blind moment of thoughtlessness that passed before he could muster up the ability to respond. His fingers trailed down the back of her neck, following the curve of her spine, and she broke away, not daring to breathe or move.

"Byakuya-sama..." He wasn't sure what she was trying to say with just his name, whether or not she was trying to apologize for her selfish pride or tell him that everything was fine. Maybe she was trying to push him away, or warn him of something. Whatever her intention, for some reason, his arms just wouldn't loosen.

"I'm going to kiss you again." He had meant it as a question, but it would only come out as a statement. He drew back and examined her face, her gleaming eyes, the intense blush in her cheeks. She felt his thumb sweep across her bottom lip and trembled slightly. He leaned forward, and her eyes sank shut. He was close... so close that she could taste his breath, but for some reason, he hesitated. Then, their silent seclusion was shattered by the door slamming open.

"Haru-dono!" They both turned their eyes away from each other towards the door. A full second passed before Haru released a long sigh and started adjusting her slightly loosened yukata. Then, she cleared her throat and swept the surprise from her expression. Byakuya was surprised how quickly she did it, but then again, she was like him, a noble not in spite of her upbringing but because of it. He was prepared to answer any questions the servant had honestly... to a certain extent, but no inquisition came. "We have a serious problem. You have visitors."

"Visitors?" she echoed. "Now? Here?"

"Two shinigami captains."

"Captains?" She spoke the word slowly and lowered her eyes to the futon, reading its subtle disruptions and remembering—with a smile—the serious nature of that unspoken warning following Hajime's "if you do."

"If you're not in the dining room in fifteen minutes to greet them, they're going get impatient. Who knows what they'll find." She caught the blatant caution in Saki's voice and felt a wave of anger creep through her.

"Son of a bitch." She said it under her breath, but Byakuya heard her. She curled a hand around her upper arm. "Why now? Why now, of all times?" She shut her eyes and stood rigidly next to her bed. "Stall them."

"What?"

"I'm going to get Grimmjow-san off of the estate. Besides, Ulquiorra-san has nothing to do with them." Haru started untying her yukata, and Byakuya almost forgot to throw his eyes to some other part of the room.

"Haru-dono, will you please remember common decency?"

"There's no time to think of that. Besides, Byakuya-sama has already seen everything, I'm afraid." She buttoned her shirt with blinding speed and stepped into her khaki pants. The last thing she picked up was her sword and examined the ends of the ribbon. She thought she saw an ember trail off as she stood. "I need five minutes. Just five. Once I'm off the estate, it will be impossible to find us. I don't want anyone else interfering in this. If someone bleeds today, it's going to be Grimmjow-san or me... or both of us." She picked up her coat and shot towards the door, then paused and turned back, dropping to one knee and pressing her lips against Byakuya's for an instant, then trailing away with a whisper. "Gomenasai." Her hand slid off of his face. He heard her move past Saki, who protested vehemently to no avail, but he couldn't move.

_That was... _He lifted his fingers to his lips. _That was a goodbye kiss._ His hand lingered for a moment, then fell.

"I will stall them." The rest of her complaints faded out. "For as long as she needs."

"You're out of your mind! Do you even understand what she's planning to do?"

"I understand perfectly well. And I also understand that I can do nothing to stop her. She has chosen this fight not as a shinigami or quincy, but simply as Haru. If I deny her that, then I could never forgive myself."

"She could die!"

"Or she could live. In either case, Haru-kun has always done as she pleases regardless of mine or anyone else's wishes, and if she lives, she will continue to do so because her pride drives her to it." Byakuya's fist closed. "Invite them in and serve them tea. I will take care of the rest.

"Demo!"

But like Haru, he was unshakable now that he had determined his own course of action. She eventually left, taking her storm of expletives with her. Once he was alone with his thoughts, he shut his eyes. "This is the only way."

Byakuya said it to the empty room, but deep down, he knew that he didn't believe it.

Grimmjow looked down from the roof as the door opened. She didn't utter a word. She simply made sure her sword was at her side, adjusted the long coat on her shoulders, and flashed up to meet him. "What's the rush, chibi?" She sighed and peered at him.

"Here's how things currently stand: there are four captains on my estate. Two of them, you already know. Two of them, you really don't want to mess with." She paced across the naked roof lightly, then turned back to look at him. "We don't have many options. You can run using garganta, but that would be no good considering the date. You could stay here, but they would find you, and they'd have both our heads for it."

"You mean they don't _know _I'm here?"

"Hitsugaya-taichou might, but he's probably not going to say anything. Don't ask me the reason. I don't know and I couldn't care less. But Soi Fon-taichou has had doubts about me since I came back from Hueco Mundo. Then again, her doubts aren't wholly unfounded considering the fact that I'm harboring a hollow." She pressed her lips together in thought. Again, Hajime's fragment of a sentence surfaced in her mind. Again, she pushed it away. "Let's go."

"Eh?"

"You want to fight him too, right?"

"What are you... talking about?" Haru sighed and shook her head.

"As we are now, neither of us are strong enough to defeat Ulquiorra-san in a fight. But together, maybe..." Her voice trailed off, and she gave a slight laugh. "That look on your face is hilarious."

"What look?"

"Surely, you can't intend to fight him alone."

"You can't, either!"

"Exactly." Something crisp drifted through her gaze. "So we'll do it together. As equals." Grimmjow shuttered as she turned away. "I don't know how long I can evade them, but..."

"You don't need to worry about that." Grimmjow half drew his sword, but he stopped when he saw the figure had already set his hand on her shoulder and smiled.

"Hajime?" She felt his reiatsu shift slightly before he lifted his hand to pull up the hood of his sand-colored cloak. "I can keep them busy while you and Grimmjow-san take care of things."

"Who said you could call me that?" Grimmjow demanded, but he forgot his objections when he saw the single eye peering out from under the hood. In the air between them, Haru could perceive that slight resemblance that he had probably worked all his life to conceal drifting into focus, but before it fully materialized, he whirled away.

"Leave it to me, alright? We can sort everything else out afterwards." Haru lowered her head slightly, but before she could say anything else, Hajime had disappeared over the rooftops.

"Idiot," she retorted, pressing a hand to her head. "I hope he knows to restrain himself."

"Restrain himself?"

"He's a member of the fourth division," she murmured. "But if he has enough strength to survive Rukongai without getting any scars..." Haru sighed and gave Grimmjow an intrigued look. "That smile on his face... I wouldn't be surprised if he gutted the first person who tried to interfere. If he tried, I'm not sure if I could stop him." Haru laughed at Grimmjow's bewildered face and whirled away. "Come on. If we wait any longer, we might be found, and neither of us will be able to do much on the end of someone else's sword."

The three captains sipped their tea tersely. Byakuya was the most relaxed. Hitsugaya was visibly irritated, and Soi Fon fidgeted constantly, but none of them said anything. "Where is she?" Soi Fon finally demanded.

"As I said, she will be along when she is finished." Hitsugaya cast him a questioning look, then glanced back to his tea.

"What's taking her so long?" He raised his cup and smiled behind it, but by the time he started drinking again, he had put on that calm mask again. "Something's definitely not right here. Is she here or not?"

"She is here," Byakuya responded.

"Then why doesn't she just make her appearance?" He finished his cup of tea and set it down. Saki immediately refilled it and gave him a look that he read clearly. She bowed slightly and watched as he raised the cup to his lips for another drink.

"She is present as the topic of discussion, and as nothing more, and unless you want her cracking your skulls open, I recommend letting her do as she pleases without interfering." He watched the steam and waited for the realization to sink in. Once it did, he passed them another calm look. "She is reckless, but responsible. She is not ignorant of her responsibilities. So, for now, I am telling you to leave her."

"That girl is a threat to the Gotei 13, and I intend to prove it once I arrest her." Hitsugaya passed Byakuya a look of apology, but he said nothing. "What? No argument? No declaration to protect her?"

"I have no reason to protect her from you. You will more than likely see that she has gone far beyond locking away if you fight her. Isn't that right, Hitsugaya-taichou?" His eyes darkened as Soi Fon walked past him, but he didn't move despite Saki's blatant glare. The reason became apparent when Soi Fon threw the door open to find its frame occupied by Hinamori and Takumi, the latter slamming his palm against the doorframe effectively blocking her route.

"Let me get this straight." Takumi's eye slowly fell shut. "Taichou's in the middle of fighting for her life, and you want to arrest her just because you think she's dangerous." She opened her mouth to object, but he cut her off again. "I'll tell you what's dangerous... that doubt of yours. And not just because of her power, either. If you want to arrest Yamashita-taichou, that makes you a threat, and I protect my captain from threats. Just tell me one thing, Soi Fon-taichou..." He dragged his words out in such a way that made Saki and Hinamori glance at each other from across the room. "I acknowledge your strength as a captain, but do you really expect to defeat a god?"

"Shut up!" He caught her fist before it hit him, not once looking away from her face.

"Why is it so hard for you people to understand?" Soi Fon felt the air stir and watched as Takumi fixed his eye on her. "That person's true strength has no name. It's because people are too afraid to give it one. What can you call the ability to bend and protect every line? That was the person I swore to protect when I became a vice-captain. At any cost." His right eye glimmered fiercely. "You can take everything away from me, and I will receive the blows on my pride or my body without a word of complaint. But I will beat the living shit out of anyone who goes after her... because she's protecting us, and I'm protecting her.."

"What do you think you can do?" she demanded. Takumi laughed and wrapped a hand around her wrist.

"Shall we find out?" She wasn't used to being challenged. It took her a moment to realize what she was saying, and she only fully grasped it when his face split into a grin. "Come on," he said with a laugh. "If you think you can, that is." Hitsugaya thought the vice-captain was out of his mind, but just as quickly, he thought that Soi Fon was out of hers to challenge him. He couldn't explain it, but something in the air told him that Takumi wasn't someone to mess with. "You go after her, and you will have the wind itself biting your heels."

Takumi didn't have time to side-step the fist that slammed against his jaw, nor did he have time to recover himself properly before Soi Fon had disappeared. He simply laid on the floor, looking at the three Sakis and Hinamoris calling his name. When his vision cleared, he saw Hitsugaya standing over him.

"You deserved that." In response, Takumi shut his eye again. "Just what were you trying to do, anyway?" He felt Hinamori push him up and slide against his shoulder.

"Please don't. You're always getting beaten up like this. Even if it's for taichou, I can't stand it." He touched his lip and stared at the blood on his thumb, the blood he could only faintly taste because of the sting in his sinuses. But that was nothing compared to the pain stirring inside of her. She clung to his shoulders, terrified to let him go, but he knew what he had to do as soon as his vision cleared. It was a plain and simple truth.

"Momo-san," he said. "Let go of me."

"Takumi—"

"I have to." He said it even though his head was still spinning from the force of the blow.

"But you're bleeding."

"It's nothing."

"Takumi—"

"I can't just sit here and watch this happen! I have to do something!" The air shifted again, this time more briskly than before. Her hands quivered slightly, then fell away. "If she gets to taichou..." He hunched over with a cough, then drew his hand away, the determination in his eye redoubling. Slowly, he gathered enough breath for a sigh and pulled his eye patch, keeping his left shut before pushing it into Hinamori's hands. Startled, she looked into his face, into the sad smile covering his features, into the mismatched eyes filled with unfathomable determination. "Forgive me," he said, releasing her hands and pushing himself to his feet. He disappeared before anyone could stop him, leaving the room in complete silence.

"What are you going to do?" Hinamori asked quietly, staring at the piece of fabric in her hands. She couldn't do anything else, so she clutched it tighter and bent her head, trying to suppress the tears. Saki stood up and stared at the two captains, her mind working so swiftly behind her golden eyes that she could barely keep up with it. In the end, she stood up and heaved a slow sigh. Then, she looked at the two captains.

"There's no telling what he'll do if that captain goes after Haru-dono."

"I have a pretty good idea," Hitsugaya said, "if that really is his father's sword." He stood up and paced in Takumi's direction. "Hinamori, I owe him one good punch for making you cry. I'll bring him back after I've given it to him. Kuchiki-taichou, I might need some help, so..." Byakuya stood before the jaded captain could finish his sentence. When they were both gone, Saki breathed a heavy sigh of relief, then touched Hinamori's shoulder. She kept her face towards the floor, only faintly feeling the tears dripping onto her folded hands.

"I know it hurts." Saki sighed. "It hurts seeing the ones important to you move a little closer to death with each passing moment. But the fact that it hurts... it's beautiful in itself because it means you still feel something." She stood up and gave another long sigh. "Come on. Let's have some tea. You can help me keep watch. No sense in sitting around and doing nothing." When Saki extended her hand, Hinamori dried her face with her sleeve and took it, not because sentry duty or tea seemed appealing to her, but because despite Saki's abrasive personality, her presence had an oddly calming effect.

Haru stopped moving and turned her head to watch saw a small cloud of birds rising from the naked trees in the distance. "Oi, chibi! What's up?" She didn't say anything for a moment. She simply stared at the direction in deep thought.

_Soi Fon-taichou just left the estate. I can only guess she's pursuing Hajime because she's running in the opposite direction. But is that a good thing? _She shut her eyes and made sure her reiatsu was still synchronized with Grimmjow's. Then, without saying a word, she leapt to the ground. "Is it possible that Ulquiorra-san can't find us?" she asked. Grimmjow tilted his head. "I mean, he always struck me as the kind of hollow that could be a ruthless pursuer if he wanted to be. So why hasn't he appeared yet? The fact that two other captains are here confirms that it's the right day... though if they're here to help or hinder me, I don't know, and I frankly don't care." Her eyes flickered as she looked at Grimmjow, and he immediately saw an idea that he knew he wouldn't like. "If we split up, we'll cover more ground."

"Hell, no!"

"Grimmjow, my family's estate is too big." She walked past him and pointed. "I'm going this way for a while. We'll meet up in an hour here."

"You sure you can find your way back?" She smirked at his joke and took another step in the opposite direction.

"I'm counting on you," Haru said, then disappeared, leaving the hollow to sputter fragments of curses to the empty trees around him. She moved fast, cutting through trees and pausing when she knew she was far enough away. She pressed her back against the tree and clutched her left arm, hunching over and pulling air into her lungs. _This isn't good. _She slid her coat off of her shoulders and gave both forearms a touch. The hands came back clean. She sighed and sank against the trunk, drawing a slow breath and tipping her eyes skyward. _I've been suppressing my reiatsu for too long. There's no way I can take him at ten percent. Not here. _Her eyes slid shut, then slowly extracted her phone and stared at it. Without thought, she started touching buttons. When she heard a voice on the other end, she spoke hastily and calmly into the receiver. "Go bantai taichou Yamashita Haru. I'm calling to request permission to release the limiter on my reiatsu." She drummed her fingers against her arm while she waited, and when a voice came back on the line, she immediately didn't like the sound of it.

"Well, if it isn't the little half-blood."

"Kurotsuchi Mayuri." She said the name slowly.

"Please explain to me why you need the full use of your reiatsu again."

"Because." She felt annoyed at having to explain anything to him, and as she drew a slow breath, she fixed her eyes on the tree in front of her. "If my predictions are right, there's an espada coming down here, and to be equipped with anything less than my full power is suicidal." She heard his unsettling laugh on the other end and felt her temper flare. "Listen. I won't release anything unless I feel like the situation necessitates it. My request is more or less a liability."

"You are truly a fool." He stopped laughing. "You, a mongrel of quincy lineage, asking me, the captain of the twelfth division, for permission to remove your limiter? Your power is far too unfamiliar to permit such a thing."

"Come again?"

"I know nothing of your zanpakutoh, and I only gleaned the impression that you are stronger than you say from your blood. Truthfully, I don't feel safe allowing you to take such measures."

"What are you saying?"

"Are you really that dense?" Her eyes glimmered. "I reject your request to release gentei kaijou."

"Then what am I supposed to do if an espada comes down here trying to kill me?"

"Well, that does seem to be an issue, but if Soi Fon-taichou and Hitsugaya-taichou arrived, then you have more than enough back up."

"This isn't their fight."

"Don't tell me whose fight it is and isn't, you imbecile." She tried to ignore the insult. "By keeping your secrets, you've made one too many enemies. It's only natural that you be restricted until we are certain of your motives."

"Motives? What do you think I'm trying to do?" Haru's eyes flashed, and her hand quivered as a shadow of realization struck her. "Damn it, Kurotsuchi Mayuri... you listen to me. My loyalty belongs to Soul Society, unconditionally. If you stand in my way now, you threaten its stability!"

"I'm afraid that of the two of us, you are the only one who is a threat." Haru couldn't bite back the surprised gasp that came into her lungs. "I am merely a scientist. You are an enigma that warrants closer study before determining the level of danger you pose."

"I'm not asking for myself!"

"I told you before, didn't I?" She could hear the sly smile in his voice. "You would regret crossing me." The line went dead before she could say anything else. Slowly, her arm fell, and her fist closed around her phone as a whir of thoughts shot through her head, but the strongest one shoved its way to the surface and pushed all others aside.

_They didn't come to help me fight. They came to arrest me. _With that, she fell into an inescapable loop of thought. She couldn't fight Ulquiorra as she was. She would die—or worse. She couldn't fight him with her full strength, either, because they would imprison her, and that was worse than death. _I should have known it from the start. _Her gaze hardened as she stood up and dropped the phone on the ground, then drew her sword and ran it through, then slowly sank to her knees, watering her blade with tears. _I am alone in this fight. _She pressed forehead against it, listening to Suzaku's unspoken whispers. They stroked her determination until flared it flared up, and she dried her face with a slight laugh. _What would I do without you?_

_You would let their misgivings hinder you. That is something I will not allow. _Haru turned her head slightly as the air shifted in an almost unnatural way.

_This wind... could it be Takumi?_

_I don't think the windwalker takes your doubters lightly, _Suzaku answered. _Perhaps today is the day you will both show the world what you are capable of. _She nodded slightly, pulling her coat on and not even bothering with the buttons. It was strange, how at peace she felt despite everything. A moment later, the strong pulse of reiatsu in the air shattered it, and for a different reason than her phone call had. She turned in the direction it came from.

_Grimmjow-san... _Haru sheathed her sword and tried to concentrate, tried to discern what it was that had set him off, but it was no good. She only knew that something had provoked the espada into attacking. Her grasp on the hilt of her weapon tightened. _No matter what, I will protect him. _As she strode off, she realized just what measures that meant taking. Then, she decided, in light of recent events, one more transgression against Soul Society wouldn't change much.

"There are two of them." That was what Hitsugaya said when he appeared beside Byakuya, who was sitting in wait. He only nodded in response. "Why are they fighting each other?"

"Because," he answered, "despite being an espada, the sexta wants to protect her. He has always protected her, ever since she drew her sword and stepped into this world." Hitsugaya watched as the pale espada's sword flickered upwards, carrying blood with it. "As a shinigami, it is not my place to step between them."

"What do you plan to do?" he asked at last.

"That depends on the outcome of this," he stated, calmly lowering his gaze. Hitsugaya nodded and nearly stepped back again as one hollow crashed into the ground. The other hovered above him for a moment, then descended, setting his foot lightly on the snow and pacing forward with his sword low and his emerald eyes on his opponent, who struggled to his knees and got far enough to drive the point of his sword into the ground before a kick flattened him again.

"Meaningless." That was the only word that was spoken. It shattered everything. "You are the sexta. I am the cuatra. What made you think you could beat me?" Grimmjow struggled up again, wrapping both hands around his sword and trying to stand, but before he could, his teal eyes shot to the pale shadow standing just out of sword's reach. "How does it feel to know you are utterly alone in your endeavor? Did you expect someone to save you?" Of course he had, but he was far from showing that. He kept his hands around his sword and drew a breath between his bloody lips. "Are you finished?"

"Hell, no!" His fierce eyes shot to the cuatra's, and he let out a low scoff. The sword shifted, and Grimmjow fought to find that string of aggression, but considering the damage he had already taken, even if he could feel it stirring, he could only grip his sword and watch the point of his enemy's blade rise, preparing, if he could, to dodge it.

"I give you one inquiry to contemplate the moment before your demise." The blade shifted, and the edge glinted against the cold winter sun. "You have lost everything: your ranking, your home, your honor as an espada... tell me—was it worth it?"

He froze.

He wasn't sure what to do or say. He didn't want to incriminate her, not with his dying breath or with his few remaining living ones. Even more troubling, he couldn't fathom what his response was. He couldn't vociferously shout his confidence in her as her vice-captain could. He couldn't quietly stand beside her the way her third seat did. He could only give his life away and let that be answer enough. Not living long enough to find the answer... maybe it was fine. Even if she wasn't a shinigami, she could go on living as one.

"He's just accepting it?" Hitsugaya murmured. "But why?" Byakuya's eyes narrowed slightly, questioningly, as he watched the blade cut swiftly downward, but something in the air stirred. The sword gave a sharp ring as it was forced backwards by a single cut. Ulquiorra glanced in the direction of the sword and moved just in time to keep his head as a blade of light flicked along his skin. He retreated and raised a hand to his neck, feeling the trickle of blood there as it slowly dried up and disappeared, then glanced at the blade that had done it. The tenth division captain half wondered if his eyes were lying to him, but he knew that what she saw was truer than truth itself: it was reality. Between the two espada stood a single figure with two weapons drawn. Grimmjow's mouth fell open as he eyed the insignia embroidered on the back of the leather coat, whose ends were still shifting.

"Haru." She readjusted the hold she had on her weapons, and even from there, Grimmjow saw her hand shaking, not in fear or uncertainty, but in determination and immeasurable fury.

"What..." The sky trembled as if that single word split it open. Her eyes shot open. "What the hell kind of question is that? Of course it was worth it!" She cut through the air and set her foot back, then shot forward and slammed her sword against Ulquiorra's. Grimmjow started up, but two captains appeared beside him before he could rise any farther than his knees.

"This is her fight, espada," Byakuya said in a low voice. "Do not interfere." Grimmjow gritted his teeth. "While it is true that I also want to protect her, this is a battle of pride. Instead of bowing your head under the weight of your own defeat, you should raise it and see what you've been gaining victories against." The sound of sword hitting sword severed every thread of conversation between them, and he looked to Haru, who shifted her weight to her right foot and stepped calmly around the blow, her weapons poised. She dodged the next one, and the rapid succession of swings that followed right behind it. She tilted her head and didn't even flinch when Ulquiorra's fingers grazed the skin under her eye. Instead, they burned all the brighter at the contact. She lifted her sword. He disappeared and reappeared behind her, then thrust his sword forward, and drove it straight through her.

"Haru!"

"Useless." The word came like a stone from beside him, and when he looked again, he saw that the only thing on the end of his sword was the coat. His lips parted, and Ulquiorra's eyes widened a moment before her foot came into contact with the side of his face. He skidded across the ground as she planted both feet firmly and shot forward in a bee line. Ulquiorra raised his sword and blocked her hit, but he wasn't ready for the seele that sailed upwards. He shoved her away and stepped back, then realized he was bleeding and glanced towards Haru, her mouth parted slightly and a succession of rapid breaths coming through them. But more than that, there was this unearthly gleam in both of her eyes, silvery-white and tainted with a thin strand of some color he couldn't identify. She turned as he sliced downwards, catching the bandages on her right arm, and the way she shifted, they unwound in a steady stream that Ulquiorra severed as she vanished again. Grimmjow glanced away as the figure beside him stood.

"This is it." Spellbound, he couldn't look away. The sexta glanced to the two shinigami for a moment, then looked back up at her. "Haru-kun's true power." The reiatsu in the air shifted so suddenly that he nearly forgot to breathe. "The power she's been chasing her whole life without even knowing it. The unstoppable, limitless truth at the core of her being." Haru crouched down and crossed her blades, then slowly stood and extended both her weapons outwards. Flames spun around her arm and devoured the bandages on her left arm. "This is... ignis solus." She suppressed the flames with one slight adjustment of her reiatsu and stood, her weapons hanging at her sides, her eyes practically burning, the bands on her seele a shadow, those on her released zanpakutoh illuminated, and the deep indigo bands on each arm a perfect set of four. She slid one foot slightly behind the other and pointed Suzaku at her opponent.

"You think you can defeat me?" Ulquiorra asked. With the slightest movement, her reiatsu pulsed in such a way that made those present aware, for the first time, of just how high her output had reached. "If you so much as flick one ember at me, the entire mountainside will burn, and anyone who happens to be nearby will burn, too." He rested special significance on the final word and raised his hand, then fired a cero without a word. She flashed to the side and cut an X in the air with her weapons, then shielded her eyes as the gleam shot around them. Her face was calm as the dust cleared, pushed aside by the reiatsu churning inside of her. She took up her ready stance.

"Ulquiorra-san," she said in a low voice. "If you're going to fight me, then at least do me the honor of fighting honestly." She turned her blade, and Ulquiorra touched the side of his neck, drawing away a bloody hand. "And I in turn will fight you honestly, which means you..." She tilted a single eye over her shoulder, glancing to Hitsugaya's half-drawn sword and Byakuya's hand, which was resting on the hilt of his. Immediately, they felt as if they had been chastised. "Will stay where you are." There was such a quiet authority in her voice that no one, not even Grimmjow, dared to argue with her. "You pointed that sword at my third seat, my equal, my fellow captain, and my fiancée. If you want to live..." She was already gone, though, flashing away on a pattern of steps he couldn't even dream of following. Her blades met Ulquiorra's and he tilted. "You'd better damn well start pointing it at me!" He caught his balance again and thrust a foot into her stomach, sending her skywards with a cough. She shifted her reiatsu and gathered the reishi behind her feet, then pushed upwards. He followed, appearing just above her. Their swords fell together, shrieking and sparking, and from her mouth came a determined cry. She saw his hand move to pierce her, but Haru threw her weight and twisted her whole body.

_This is it. _She slammed her foot against his hand and felt it wrap around her ankle. _Let's see, then... _Her eyes gleamed as she slammed her other foot against his jaw and landed in a crouch at his feet. _Just which one of us... _Haru shifted around his sword repeatedly. _Has the stronger pride. _She crossed her weapons at the hilt and brought them together so the blades hummed against each other. _Protect. _The word echoed through her consciousness. She flashed aside as the hand shot towards her stomach, then landed in a crouch behind him. "Kagehi!" The air around them burst into blue flames. Even his sword flickered with the stream it left behind. She stood and crossed her blades, then shifted her reiatsu. Her head reeled and her body ached, but the blue flames turned to gold and wound around him from all angles, impacting with enough force to scatter wind in all directions. She shielded her face with her arms and glanced up at her opponent to find a cero shooting straight at her. She dodged and watched as it kicked up a stream of dust below, then regained her balance and listened to the slow jingle of her cross. That quiet moment before the last blow was coming. She felt it lingering just beyond the present moment. Their eyes met across the empty distance.

Then, Ulquiorra disappeared.

Haru twisted her weight on her foot and stepped back as her hand once again tried to pierce her body. She bent so it scratched her neck and shoulder, then twisted her whole body and cut upward with both of her weapons together. The ringing between them made her glance to her arm, then back to her opponent. She parried continually, not stopping to think or to note the contact of blade with skin. Unfortunately, his regeneration swallowed his injuries, and he was too fast to let her inflict a mortal wound. She gripped her weapons with renewed determination to exceed his speed, watching as the sword passed over her head and her feet skidded across the air. Ulquiorra blocked her blows as if he were standing still and cut upward before driving the blade forward. Haru leapt over it and set her foot against the blade before bringing the other down against his shoulder. When he twisted her blade, she lost her balance and dropped a few meters before regaining her balance. She glanced up to find him descending, his blade pointed towards her. She gritted her teeth and crossed her weapons. The force of the blow nearly made her arms buckle.

"Tell me..." Amethysts fell against emeralds. "What makes you protect him?" Haru gritted her teeth as his reiatsu pushed against her weapons. "Is it your brain? Your heart? Or some unnamed thing too human for me to comprehend?"

"Is it really that hard to understand?" she asked, then gripped her weapons and released a pulse of reiatsu to shove him back. "I protect Grimmjow-san... for the same reason I protect everything else." Her eyes gleamed as she paced forward. "Because he gives my life meaning!" Ulquiorra swung, and Haru side-stepped, tilting her head so she wouldn't lose another pair of glasses to his blade. Then, she prepared to counter his next shower of blows.

"Can you not see that your efforts are ridiculous beyond compare?" A score in her arm. "You cannot protect anything because you are not ready to kill." A cut along her side. "And as long as you keep dodging my blows..." From her chin to her temple. Along her right wrist. The side of her left thigh. "You will gain nothing." Ulquiorra expected her to shift back when he raised his weapon again, but she moved forward, watching as the blade passed her. Then, she crouched and drew her own arm back. His own sword twisted and shot upward, but not before she could ram the seele into his leg. Haru felt it tear her shoulder open and released a sharp cry before hunching forward and glaring at him through her hair. She lifted her hand and flexed her fingers, still feeling it, then looked to Ulquiorra, who had tried to wrap his hand around the handle of the seele but was deterred by the reiatsu sparking off of it.

_This is it. _A smile spread across her face as she leaned back and allowed gravity to take over. She felt her own reiatsu surge and her blood turn to embers as the bands on her arms lit up. _It has to be now. _She stared at her sword, watching as the short, frayed ends of the ribbon flickered, and smiled. _Are you ready, Suzaku? _The sword answered in silence as the ends of the ribbon flared. She shifted her reiatsu, listening as the spirit particles around her began to hum. Other than that sound, there was only a word. "Shinseinahi." With that, the sky became a vortex of red flames that wound upward and engulfed Ulquiorra. Their eyes met for a moment, and she saw the curse on his lips before he disappeared behind a curtain of fire. "Houkai danketsu." The resulting explosion was so intense, the entire sky disappeared. The onlookers had to shield their eyes and wait until the dust cleared to decide on necessary measures.

In the midst of the dirt kicked up by the attack, Haru knelt, clutching her sword and drawing unsteady breaths. Without looking up, she swung and tapped the seele that had been thrust in her direction. She watched it for a moment, then glanced to Ulquiorra. He cut through nothing but air and could only watch as Haru snatched her seele by the handle. A white halo sprang up around her, and she turned to face him. She changed her hold and shot forward, delivering blows without ceasing. Ulquiorra knocked Suzaku out of her hand for a moment, but she went on swinging with her seele, leaping over him and grabbing it before he could thrust it out of her reach entirely. She shifted her foot and got ready to run forward, but before she could, she was tackled to the ground. She fell with a sharp cry, then sat up and moved her eyes to the negación, the yellow light enveloping Ulquiorra and his bland look of satisfaction. She tried to move forward, but she felt claws on her wrist. Her eyes fell. Haru didn't face him, didn't try to pull free, didn't say anything. She simply watched as Ulquiorra's feet left the ground.

"It seems my time to defeat you has not yet come." His eyes locked on her. "Before the end of your life, I will make you see how truly meaningless everything you value is, including your own existence. Your release from ignorance shall be your release from everything. Until then..." Haru's eyes fell shut.

"Then next time," she said, her reiatsu flaring so suddenly around her that Hitsugaya took a step backwards. "I will not hold anything back, either." Those first words came so calmly. Then, her lips split as she shouted what she deemed loud enough for Aizen to hear. "Even if it takes every last ounce of blood in my veins, I'll make sure Aizen doesn't get any farther than he has! Got that?" She shook Grimmjow off, but he shot up and restrained her from behind before she could get any further. "I'll kill you! I'll kill you and that son of a bitch! I don't care what it costs me!" His eyes may have widened a fraction, but before Haru could discern the change, a firm hand covered her eyes, and an arm wound around her shoulders. She gulped air as her eyes wavered between shadow and light. Then, after the sky had swallowed her half-defeated opponent, she drew a breath. "You can let go of me now, Grimmjow-san." The moment he released her, she found herself heaved off her feet by the firm hands on her collar.

"What the hell was that just now?"

"What was what?"

"That reiatsu, and those movements! And what you said just now! I want an explanation!"

"Is that so?"

"Damn right it's so!" Haru's eyes remained calm. "Why aren't you saying anything?" They shifted, and he remembered they weren't alone. His fist closed into a ball before he could stop it. "You're not like that. You don't kill. You protect. That's who you are." She gave a slow sigh and shifted her eyes back to him. "What's with that look?" he retorted.

"Just now, I probably broke more laws than my fingers can count. I used ignis solus in the human world at a level of reiatsu that far exceeds my authorized amount to protect an espada." She sighed and glanced up at him. "That's rather unfortunate, isn't it?" He sputtered something, unconsciously lowering her as her eyes flickered and blazed. "It's fine." She smiled, and his hands nearly loosened entirely. "Like I said before, it's worth the trouble."

"Demo—"

"Don't worry about it." She clutched her bleeding shoulder and walked past him. "I'll handle things on my end, same as you did on yours. But next time, don't you dare stop me." He had only started objecting when something—or rather someone—cut through the branches. Hitsugaya pointed his sword at the person before he could figure out that it was only another shinigami. He watched as the sword descended and relaxed, then wiped his forehead and glanced at Haru, passing her a faint smile.

"So, how did things go on your end?" She read the significance of his expression and shut her eyes.

"I almost had him, but there was some interference." She looked to Grimmjow momentarily. "He got away before I could kill him."

"Yokkatta..." Haru arched a brow and watched as he tipped his hood off, wiping his head again. "That was what I was scared of the most."

"Why?"

"If you'd done it, then you wouldn't be you anymore." She questioned him with her eyes, but he wouldn't say anything. Finally, she shrugged in agreement and smiled.

"Yeah, I guess it's for the best." Hajime's eyes fell to her shoulder, the same one he had touched earlier that morning to copy her reiatsu.

"I'm glad to hear I bought you enough time, but we need to do something about your wounds."

"If you're going to, then heal Grimmjow-san's first."

"Like hell you will!"

"I'll be fine," she retorted.

"My wounds heal faster than yours anyway!"

"But you got yours before I got mine. It's only fair that you get healed first." Grimmjow started to object, but then, he noticed that Hajime was smiling calmly as all of the light drifted out of his visible eye. The shadow creeping across his gaze was a silent warning. That was all it took to undercut his rebellion. "We don't have time to argue before Soi Fon-taichou shows up. I'll be fine. Just leave me alone so I can think." She crept away, wobbling slightly and holding her shoulder. She broke down her seele and jammed her zanpakutoh into the ground, watching as the ribbon flared outwards, counting spirit particles that condensed and reformed it. For a moment, the inner half was white. Then, when it stopped glowing it, dimmed to red, and she sighed.

_Still safe..._

"That person..." Haru passed Byakuya a look that demanded whether or not she had just told him to leave her alone, but she should have known better. "Did he copy your reiatsu to serve as a decoy?"

"I didn't ask him to, and it's not hard to copy at ten percent," she stated, glancing to Hajime's focused expression. Hitsugaya neared her, still watching the shinigami work.

"That person—"

"Yes." She said it flatly. "Yes, he copied my reiatsu and served as a decoy."

"Actually, I was going to ask what he was doing here."

"He goes where he wants."

"If Soi Fon-taichou ever finds out she was led on some wild goose chase by a lackey from the fourth division, she's going to be pissed." Haru smiled slightly. "You can't be happy about that."

"I can only hope against all hope that she considers it a positive learning experience... and recompense for coming to arrest me. Speaking of, did you really think you could, Toushiro-san? Having faced me yourself, were you really going to try restraining me?"

"It wasn't my idea. I just came to reason in case you tried cutting someone's head off." Haru nodded slowly, half believing him, half wondering if he could be believed. "At any rate, I'm sorry we came unannounced. I tried calling you earlier, but you weren't answering your phone."

"It broke," she stated. "In a very unfortunate accident." Haru released her shoulder and looked at the blood on her hands.

_Haru-sama, _Suzaku said. _There is... _Hitsugaya stepped into her sunlight, and she glanced up calmly.

"You're unbelievable."

"In a good way or a bad way?"

"Both." Haru's eyes gleamed as Hitsugaya examined her. "You took your shinigami limiter off."

"I didn't have much of a choice." She leaned back slightly and winced as her injuries scolded her. She heard Suzaku in the back of her mind, calling to her, then lowered her eyes to the bloody gloves on her hands. "If it's all the same to you, I want to conserve my energy, so if I'm quiet, that's why." She shut her eyes and tried to focus. _I'm listening, Suzaku. _

_It's about ignis solus._

Her attention snapped away for a second time. She glanced at the insignia on the back of the haori, at its two parallel strokes, and dragged herself to her feet, her hand resting on her sword and her eyes blazing with rebellion, but before she could swing it, a brisk wind cut past her, and she shielded her eyes. Soi Fon leapt around it, but an invisible blade sliced her arm, and she stood, glaring from the cut to the person who had inflicted it. _This time, it's different. _She felt her arm trembling and glanced down at it. _This time, he's doing it knowingly._ She opened her mouth to stop him, but for some reason, she couldn't say anything. Hajime was looking towards her, his eye locked on Takumi, and something in that gaze made her mouth go entirely dry. It could have been Hajime, or it could have been the words echoing in her head.

_There is... something greater than that form._

_Greater? _Behind her glasses, her eyes flickered as the image in her mind began to shape itself.

But the wind shifted so suddenly and violently that it turned to dust. She knew instinctively that Soi Fon couldn't possibly dodge the wind. It was all around her. She was fully prepared to protect the captain. However, she soon saw there was no need. As Hajime stood, she could see in Grimmjow's face that he had said or done something to turn his pupils to slits.

"Takumi," he called. The vice-captain's head jerked, and Hajime's voice fell lower. "Quit it." A growl escaped his throat, and Hajime felt the wind slice reopen the wound on the right side of his face. Hajime paced forward, his eye level with Takumi's. "She won't do anything to hurt Haru. I know can't trust those words, but believe me. You don't need to use your sword anymore." The wind shot at him, but before it could strike, he pulled his sword free and released it. It crashed against the barrier, which didn't even shake at the contact. All the while, Haru's sword whispered away in her ear.

_What do you mean... _The word's drifted through Haru's head, and behind her glasses, her eyes widened. _That ignis solus... is the gateway... to higher understanding?_

_It is as I said, _Suzaku answered. _But the gate will not be open for long. _Haru's hand curled around her chest, and she fell against Byakuya as air flooded her lungs. It tasted different than usual, and its quality made her head spin. When she looked at Hajime again, at the seriousness painted on his face, her eyes flickered.

_When... since when... has he had that kind of authority? _Although she saw an unclear picture of his strength, she also saw his reluctance to use it. Hajime's visible eye sank shut, and he took a step forward, ignoring the wind as it bit into his arm.

"Why are you protecting the person who wants to throw her in prison?" Takumi demanded, thrusting an attack at the second division captain. Hajime flashed between them, and the wind crashed against the barrier again. Soi Fon would have ran him through if he weren't the only thing standing between her at Takumi. When the air stopped moving, Hajime pressed his lips together.

"She won't do anything."

"That kind of thing—"

"I told you, she won't do anything!"

"That kind of thing would kill her, and you know it!"

"I know that!" Hajime lowered his head for a moment and drew a steady breath. "Don't make me fight you here, Takumi. It's not just because I don't want anyone knowing my power. It's because I don't want to do something I'll regret later. Look." He pointed to the deep laceration under his right eye and opened his uncovered one. "You cut me. Twice. Let that be enough." Even at that distance, he could feel Takumi bristling with anger. He could practically see it in the air, the beast pacing around inside of him like a caged tiger, leering out at him.

_Suzaku... _She said it quietly and clutched her chest. _If I don't do something, then aniki will..._

_I know... he wanted to protect you not from your power, but from the consequences of it. And you feel the same way about him. _Haru's gaze hardened, and she gritted her teeth.

_How long do I have... until that gate closes?_ Byakuya touched her shoulder, and she glanced up to him, some firm understanding racing across her eyes. Then, even though it hurt to move, she pushed his hand away and took a step forward.

"Three days!" The air stilled, and Soi Fon's head pivoted to Haru, still covered in wounds but burning with tangible determination. She wrapped one hand around the cut in her shoulder and closed her glimmering eyes. "There's no denying that what I've done as undoubtedly gone against some of Soul Society's tenants. I harbored a hollow in secret, chased a power that should only belong to a quincy, and used that power for my own ends. Nevertheless, I find my pride untouched. If anything, it is stronger now than it was before. Still, I feel that as a captain of the Gotei 13, I should have to answer for these things." She glanced up, then bowed her head. "But there's something I have to do first. So, to protect that pride, I must give it up by doing something I've never done before." She dropped to one knee and bowed her head as low as it would go. "It's not my style to beg for anything, but if you have one grain of faith left in me, then I'm asking you to let me go for three days."

"Three days? What could you possibly do with three days?"

"Who cares what I do with them?" she demanded without raising her head. "I'm telling you I need three days, and if you know what's good for you, you'll give them to me. I promise I'll answer for everything after that, so please..." Haru bent even lower, her arm trembling because of the injury to her flesh and her pride. "I've always been good to my word, haven't I? If you give me three days, I swear to it, I'll appear at whatever hour you appoint, in whatever binds you choose to put me in. But this thing I have to do... I only have three days to do it, and if I miss my chance now, I might never get another."

"Haru—"

"Please!" she shouted, then bit her bottom lip. "Can't you see my word is all I have?" Haru counted herself lucky that she had actually made everything stop. The wind went back to its normal state, and that serious aura Hajime was giving off faded. She could feel his reiatsu shift as he sealed his sword and slipped it back into his obi.

"If you doubt her so much..." Her heart slammed in her chest as his words cut the air. "Why not take me instead?"

"You?" Soi Fon demanded. "What value could you possibly have to her?"

"Yes... I wonder..." He paused deliberately at the end of the word. "At any rate, she thought well enough of me to protect me from Nnoitora back then." She couldn't believe this. First, he had duped her, led her all over the mountainside, outrun her, protected her, and now, he was negotiating with her. He was just as unbelievable as Haru was. "If you take me instead, she's bound to show up." His eyes darkened. "Unless you're not willing to gamble on the truth of my word, Soi Fon-taichou." That was an outright challenge, the second of the day. Her eyes dimmed, and she thrust the sword in his face, but he didn't move, as if he knew her arm would stop short. The calm face provoked her, but she didn't attack him. Slowly, her arm fell. Haru's lips fell open as he walked past the second division captain. She tried to get up, but her head reeled before she could. Like that morning, she felt a hand on her shoulder, and like that morning, she felt the energy pulse through it, but this time, it spread out, touching all of her wounds and devouring them as if they had never existed.

His eye betrayed the resolve that his hands wouldn't express. Instead, they shook slightly as he drew away. "This is my atonement." Haru's breath caught in her throat. "So..." He smiled as he stood up. "You don't have to cry for me, Haru." She managed to shoot up, but for some reason, she felt like her strength had been suspended. Only Hajime could have done it. She staggered twice and fell against Byakuya. Haru used his shoulder and pressed a hand over her eyes, listening to the steps. She heard a fist collide with flesh and moved her hand to ascertain where the blow was landed to find Takumi laying on the ground, blood dripping from his lip.

"That was for making Hinamori cry," Hitsugaya said, letting his fist fall. "Do it again, and I'll kill you. Got it?" Takumi sat up and turned his head, then spit the blood out of his mouth. How had things become such a mess? She sighed and covered her eyes again, ignoring the tears running down her face and biting her lip.

"Wait." The word had enough authority to stop both captains. Only the prisoner seemed eager to keep moving, but he only took one more step before stopping himself. "Three days." Hajime's composure wavered for a moment, and he thought of looking back as the captains had. "If anything happens to him, I will be cracking both your skulls. Do you understand?" Hajime gave a slight laugh before either of them could say anything and walked into the passage, following the hell butterflies drifting through the air. He stood still for a moment while the feelings washing around inside of him came to rest.

"That's just Haru for you." He gave a slight laugh, but his visible eye was just as serious as Haru's had been. "I wouldn't take her threats lightly, though, especially if you doubt her." His eyes rested on the second division captain. He had the urge to face the sky again, to feel the wind and the sun, to see that face, but it was too late. The gate had already closed behind him.

"Look, here they come." Hinamori jerked up from her tea. Sure enough, from that spot they had been watching for two hours, four figures appeared. She stood up and stretched slightly, then scurried down from the roof, landing easily in the snow and darting towards the front entrance to meet them. "Just leave the tea! I'll get it after I've seen them in!" Hinamori followed her, and they managed to make it to the front entrance before their visitors. "Okaerinasai, Haru-dono." She glanced up, as if surprised to be addressed, and smiled faintly.

"Ah... tadaima."

"Ishida Uryuu is here to see you. He's in the dining room with Masahiro-dono."

"Thanks. I'll see him now." She glanced to Saki and gave her a questioning look.

"Wasn't there one more? I thought I saw someone dart off just before you and that hollow did. I still owe him one for drugging you."

"Don't ask me," she said firmly, crossing the threshold of her own house. Saki smiled and turned around.

"Fine, fine. Keep your secret. It's not like I care where he went." She turned around and gave Saki a cutting look. "What? It's not like he died or anything."

"He's worse than dead," she answered, then sighed. "Byakuya-sama, if you have other ways to occupy your time, I suggest you use it that way. I might be a while."

"I will wait," he answered. She sighed and shifted her eyes to Grimmjow, who scoffed and folded his arms, then to Takumi, whose eyes were still locked on the ground. Without saying anything else, she disappeared inside.

"Seriously, what's he mean to her? I thought you were the one she was getting hitched to."

"Once you have served Haru-kun, I would like a bottle of sake."

"Understood," she said with a cloying note in her voice, then gave Grimmjow a wry look. "You don't want anything, do you?" But he wasn't his usual self, either. He was quiet and almost thoughtful. Suddenly, Saki was an inch from his face. He jerked back. "Oi, I'm talking to you."

"Che. As if I'd need anything from you."

"Fine. I'll bring you tea once I'm done with everything else. But only because I'm feeling nice today." Grimmjow scoffed again and pulled off his shoes, then Saki paused in the doorway. Hinamori was still waiting for Takumi to speak, but he didn't say anything. She tried to think of something to thaw the ice between them. Then, she grinned. "Damn. That kid can throw one hell of a punch. Wonder where he got that from?" She laughed when he passed her a contemptuous glare. "I'll be guessing you'll need a cold compress and some eye drops for your left? Looks pretty red." His pupil narrowed, and she shook her head. "I swear. You really are a hot head. Cool it, will you? Jeez..." She rolled her eyes and looked at Hinamori. "Don't know why or how you could cry for that guy. He's pathetic." Takumi moved, but the arms around him brought him to a dead halt. Saki turned away. "She really cares for you, you know? So think of her once in a while before doing something stupid and getting your ass handed to you." Takumi knew that her words meant something more than she said, but he couldn't discern the meaning, not when everything felt so distorted. The doorway was as empty as he was.

They walked back to their quarters in silence. She shut the door behind them and looked to Takumi, but she didn't utter a word. She stepped in front of him, and she offered him the eye patch. He studied it for a moment, then shook his head. "Leave it," he said. His expression wavered, and he whirled away. "Why do you stay with me? I'm selfish, and more trouble than I'm worth. I can't save my best friend. I can't save my captain. I made you cry. It would be easier for you to just leave me."

"No." Takumi felt her arms wrap around him, and his breath hitched. "That would be the hardest thing, letting you go. So don't ask me to." He glanced back at her. "Sukidayo." He jolted because he wasn't used to hearing that word from her. She had only said it once before. "Suki... dayo..." she shuddered and clung to him tighter, letting out the soft sounds of sadness she had suppressed that morning. "Suki..." Takumi coaxed her to let go, then sat down against a wall and pulled her against him, not just so she could vent her full emotions, but also so she wouldn't see his expression.

"Gomen, Momo-san," he whispered. "I'm sorry your feelings for me... are such a burden."

"Idiot!" she shouted, knocking her fists against his chest and sobbing without restraint. "They're not a burden and I won't let you call them that! Apologize! Apologize right now!" Takumi's hands fell, and he bent his head and slumped against her shoulder. Her eyes flew open, still gleaming with tears.

"I'm sorry I'm not strong enough to acknowledge my feelings." He pressed his lips together. "What I said to you when you came here... that was only half the truth. The way I feel is a lot deeper than that, but I was scared to say it. I was scared because I don't know if their strength can withstand things like this." Takumi wiped his eyes and raised them to her. "Can I say it now, Momo-san? Can I be honest... about everything?" She stared at him, felt his hands drying her face. "Aishiteru." He leaned back and watched as her tears stopped. With a sigh, he dried the last of them, then gave her a shocked look as he touched his left eye and found that he had been crying, too. He gave an uneasy laugh. "Damn... now you've got me started." She smiled and dried his face, then leaned forward to kiss him, but her hands pressed against his bruises and made him wince, and when they exchanged glances, they both started laughing for their own reasons, Takumi because he had so easily forgotten about those wounds, and Hinamori because she had forgotten to heed them more closely.

Ishida and Masahiro waited in silence, the latter tapping the table with one finger. They had both felt Haru return, but Ishida thought he felt something else, too. They heard steps in the hallway, then a shout and a slight laugh before the door was kicked open. "Okaeri," Masuhiro murmured from the head of the table.

"Ah... tadaima..." Haru grinned and managed a feeble wave.

"Baka chibi! Don't act like nothing's wrong!"

"Gomen, gomen... I guess I overdid it a little."

"You just freakin' passed out in the hallway! You call that a little?"

"Sorry I worried you."

"I am not worried!" She laughed, then pressed a hand against her spinning head.

"Honestly, you're even worse at lying than I am." Her eyes glimmered, full of a smile, and he sputtered an incoherent protest.

Ishida watched this exchange happen as if it were the most normal thing in the world. He watched, dubious and unbelieving. "What..." They both looked at him. It was the first word he managed to get out. "What the hell is going on here?"

"What do you mean?" she asked, tilting her head. "Didn't ojii-sama tell you Grimmjow-san was staying here?"

"I thought it would be best for you to do it," he supplied.

"But _why_..."

"Who cares why?" Haru answered, slowly making her way to the table and sitting down with a sigh. "The reasons don't lessen the trouble he's caused. Two captains just tried to arrest me for that, among other things."

"Hey, don't blame me for your stupidity!"

"Relax. I said you were worth the trouble, so what's the problem?"

"But—"

"Haru-kun." Byakuya said it from the door, and she glanced up at him. "One of the servants said you wanted to see me."

"Yes, yes. Please have a seat. You too, Grimmjow-san."

"Why the hell do I have to—"

"Because the people in this room all need to know one very important thing. And this can't wait." They waited in silence until Saki arrived with the tea, until cups were filled, and until she was seated with the rest of them.

"Haru-sama," Ishida said, eyeing Grimmjow again. "I have to ask... why in the hell is there a hollow here?"

"I saved him."

"You _what_?"

"Hey, he saved me, too. Isn't that right, Grimmjow-san? How many times did you save me in Hueco Mundo?"

"I forgot to count. Anyway, it didn't matter much. When you got out, you were more dead than alive."

"Then I'm not much different than you," she said, passing him a calm smile. Byakuya glanced at her. "I'll answer for everything in three days' time. As always, there was a reason I asked for three days. I can't explain it because I don't know all of the details myself, but from what Suzaku has told me, ignis solus is not merely my inheritance. It is the gateway to understanding my own power in its entirety. So, I have three days to learn the final risen form. Once I do that, everything else will make sense. I could let this opportunity go without an effect on my current power, but I don't know if or when it will come again."

"And if you fail?" Masahiro asked. Haru stared at herself in her tea and smiled.

"I don't know," she murmured. "I could lose my powers, or half of them. I could lose my emotions. I might even die." Grimmjow choked on his tea and opened his mouth, but Haru cut him off. "I knew the risks of this technique going into it. Hajime, although he delayed their arrival, also helped me keep those feelings through everything. I don't think anyone else could have done that. And besides, his interference meant that I had enough time to fight Ulquiorra-san before Suzaku revealed this. Who knows? If they had come at the wrong time, maybe I would be dead already." She smiled and let her eyes fall shut. "I am a being that defies fate. I know I can do it in three days, but I'm going to need complete and total isolation. If there's something beyond the third risen form, then I don't want anyone beyond this room knowing about it until the final day. So, don't ask me about it. And don't disturb me. Do we have an understanding?" Her eyes gleamed, and she waited until everyone at the table had given her a nod. "Ojii-sama, I'm asking you to handle any emergencies that may arise in my absence. Saki-san, I leave it to you to tell my vice-captain and third seat. I'd tell them myself, but something tells me they need their space. Tomorrow will suffice. Just make sure they understand the situation."

"Hai," she answered, bowing her head.

"After three days, I will go to Soul Society and answer for everything as promised, regardless of the outcome. If by some chance I am incapable of making it, then Ishi-nii, I'm asking you to go in my stead."

"But Haru-sama..."

"I don't know what's going to happen, but I have to go." Her eyes gleamed. "If it weren't for Hajime, I'd be the one locked up right now. My chance would come and go without me being able to make this choice. So, for his sake, and for Soul Society's, I'm going to believe that I can make it happen."

"You keep mentioning this Hajime guy," Grimmjow retorted, "but I honestly don't know why he matters."

"It's his to tell."

"That again? Seriously, why are you protecting him?" Saki demanded.

"You would, too, if he spoke those words in your ear." She stared at her tea for a moment, then lifted her eyes again. "I don't want any disruptions. I need to concentrate." She set her palms on the table and started to rise, but Masahiro stopped her.

"Drink your tea and get into your shinigami uniform."

"Eh?" Ishida stammered.

"What you're planning requires you to be true to yourself. When I trained with Ishida's grandfather, our first step was knowing exactly who and what we were."

"Demo—"

"You wear that uniform. Unless you're planning to give up your ranking for this Hajime person." Something crafty crept into his expression. "Unless... you aren't a shinigami?" Grimmjow threw her a heavy look, but she ignored it.

"So what if I'm not?"

"Then what are you?"

"Masahiro-dono, it's not my place to give you orders, but I have to ask you not to provoke her," Ishida interjected.

"What are you?" he asked again. Grimmjow watched Haru as she drew a slow breath through her teeth and waited. When she lifted her eyes again, they were full of that eerie living light.

"I am not a shinigami, at least not more than in title. I am not a quincy, at least not more than name. I am Haru, and more than any other being in this world, my task, my purpose, and my pride... is to protect whatever I find meaning in until my bones turn to dust." She turned away calmly, but the air was unspeakably tense in the wake of those words. She shifted her eyes from her brother, who stared blankly at her, to her grandfather, whose jaw had all but hit the floor. "Is that answer sufficient enough for you, ojii-sama?"

Whether it was or not, she closed the door behind her and turned her steps towards her bedroom while those words echoed in her ear.

_I am the proof of Tokazawa Misuzu's sins._

She couldn't help but think that somewhere in a prison cell, those words were echoing in another head.

_I am the proof of Tokazawa Misuzu's sins. _

Hajime stared at the ceiling with one eye was clouded by a rush of memories no prison could protect him from. One after the other, they dragged through his mind, driving the wooden bench at his back far from perception.

There was Rukongai. The worst of the slums. Emaciation, disease, horror at every turn. And struggle. There were fights. Some, he won. Others, he lost. Others nearly killed him. There was blood on his hands from the time someone had done just the right thing to provoke him. There was blood, and with the blood, there was the knowledge of what he was truly capable of. After that, there were no punches because he wouldn't wait. He was small and good at minimizing his presence. To survive, he would slit the throats of sleeping thieves who beat children and women for a spare crumb. He would steal in broad daylight while using the blindness of those around him. He would run and always get away.

And then, something unexpected happen, something he hadn't seen coming.

He was saved.

Slowly, his eye sank shut, and he rolled onto his side, recalling the discomfort that the manacles brought him and shuffling.

Of course, he had been compliant. He had accepted everything without so much as a glare or a sigh as his freedom creaked away and clanged shut behind him. Soi Fon and Hitsugaya stared at him from the other side of the bars. Eventually, Hitsugaya said something in a low voice and left. Once he had, Hajime had walked slowly across the cell to the bench and sat down, staring at his binds. "If she doesn't come back—"

"She will come," he interjected, passing Soi Fon a look. She stared at him through the bars in wonder. How could he be so sure of someone who disappeared at random and protected a hollow? He smiled and said, "It's not faith if you know it's going to happen." The captain pressed her lips together and looked at the prisoner in the cage as more questions surfaced in her head. How could he have that look in his one visible eye when he was the one condemned to imprisonment for seventy-two hours, that utterly liberated look that faintly whispered how much of a cage his life was? Moreover, how could he so calmly say that he knew, or answer her question without her even giving it? Hajime peered at her as if he saw them all. "Shall we have a bet, Soi Fon-taichou?" As he asked it, a smile spread across his lips. Even now, he couldn't help but smile in remembrance. He could see his own image reflected in her eyes.

He knew whose smile it was.

Before he could show his recognition, or before Soi Fon caught it, he jerked his eyes to the ceiling and leaned back against the wall. It was the first abrupt movement he had made since coming there.

"If I win, you find some way to get me on the battlefield."

She laughed derisively, and he passed her a silent retorting glare.

"You're joking. You really expect me to get an unranked member of the fourth division permission to fight against espada that could very likely overpower a captain? And that's not mentioning Aizen."

"If you win, I'll give you my name." He looked up at her and watched her laughter die away. "It's nothing much, really, but it's something you're curious about, aren't you? You know my history here. You know who raised me. But everything before that... everything before I entered Soul Society..." He smiled again. "Is as blank as this wall behind me."

_As blank as the wall behind me... _The words echoed in his mind, and he shut his eyes. _As if all lives on that blankness were somehow equal... _He gave a slight laugh and curled up. _In truth, I'm nothing like this wall. I'm like an endless puzzle... I've spent so much time shaping my persona and changing it to fit the situation that I don't even know who I really am anymore. So... I guess that's a good place to start. _He sat up and moved his hand, coaxing the bandage off of his eye and then peering into the half-lit room. _Three days. _Hajime stood. _I have three days to figure out who I really am. And if I don't know by then, then I guess I'll settle for the persona I've always used here: the reluctant, medically proficient, and somehow lighthearted fourth division member known to all as Shimori Hajime._

* * *

><p>And another chapter is done! Here is your free Japanese lesson.<p>

Aniki: One of the many ways to address one's big brother. It's pretty important, and I can't believe I originally forgot to include it. Thanks, animelover56348, for letting me know! ^_^'''

Gomenasai: Formal apology

Demo: But

Yokkatta: Thank goodness, that's good, or some other similar phrase expressing relief.

Okaerinasai: Welcome home

Tadaima: I'm back

Sukidayo: An expression of love... sort of. It's not horribly strong.

Gomen: An apology of average formality.

Aishiteru: A very strong expression of love.

Okaeri: A less formal version of "okaerinasai."

Hai: Yes

There we are. I think that covers everything. Thanks again for reading! Until next chapter (which will hopefully be sooner than this one... ^_^)!


	19. Chapter 19: Judgment

A/N: Almost a two-for-one! I finished editing this just last night before I went to sleep, but I'm afraid I've come down with yet another cold, so I had to wait to upload until I woke up. =_=' But it's done at least... another six to go, and it is done. Some may take longer than others, but I'm going to push to have this finished by the end of the year. I started this a long time ago, and come what may, I promised I'd finish it, hopefully to the delight and enjoyment of what readers I have left. ^_^

Props to almathia, who is as always a diligent reviewer and gets my unending gratitude.

And with that, I give you...

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 19: Judgment<em>

"Are you sure you want to go through with this, chibi?" Haru glanced up at Grimmjow. He was the only one left now aside from Ishida, who was sleeping inside. As time often does when there is little left, the hours rushed by to usher in the day of judgment. They sat on the roof, not bothering to fight because the air wasn't right for it. Her eyes sank slowly shut, as if she were remembering something. When she looked at him, it was with that unshakable, iron-hard determination. "Idiot! Do you realize what they could do if you go? They could—"

Haru stopped him with one firm hand grasping the shoulder of his coat, trembling slightly while her head remained bowed.

"Grimmjow." Although she had occasionally dropped the "san" appended to his name, it was the first time he really heard his name without the honorific, and the raw sound of it jolted his senses. Slowly, she lifted her eyes. They were unshaken, crisp, and clear, but rimmed with tears.

She remembered those tears as she paced towards the first division office with the sun at her back. The words, she recalled perfectly, and spoke as she paced along the deserted road.

"Those people are not my enemies, and they aren't yours, either. Not anymore." The wind shifted behind her, and she turned her head as she caught a familiar reiatsu nearby.

"Miyake-san."

"Yamashita-taichou." She stared at him for a long moment and saw no scorn. He moved forward with difficulty, his eyes never once leaving the ground. "I am truly sorry." Haru's narrowed slightly at the words. "But some captains whose names I will not mention have deemed it necessary to have you restrained before entering." She heard the words, but she didn't really process them. The thought of being bound in any way at this point brought an unbearable confusion to her mind. In Hueco Mundo, Aizen had built her a cage of invisible ropes and chains that stretched just far enough to remind her of the freedom she once had.

But they were not her enemies.

It was strange how such a thought could calm her. Haru sighed and looked at Miyake again. "Fine." His eyes widened slightly as she stretched out her arms and put on that calm smile. "It's alright. I took an oath when I became a captain that I would remain loyal to Soul Society. If I had any doubts, I would have left long ago." He stared at her in disbelief. "All societies are flawed. I can see the flaws in this one, but I support it, not because I have nowhere else to go or because I'm afraid of incurring their wrath. It's because, despite everything I've done, I still have that loyalty."

"Yamashita-taichou..." The sound of her voice was raw anguish, and her smile faded as Miyake bowed his head, shaking with the grief he wouldn't allow himself to express. "Why... why are you letting them do this to you?"

"Because they took something I need to save." Miyake looked up at her, his eyes a whir of emotion, and dropped his head again, then motioned for her to follow. He led her to an empty building and removed a wood shackle from the closet. He glanced at her again, and she held out her arms. Once they snapped shut, she gave an unpleasant hiss of pain as he used a series of kidou spells to lock them. When he was finished, he appeared to be on the verge of collapsing.

"Yamashita-taichou... I truly am sorry. And because I'm sorry, I'm going to disobey my orders." She glanced up at him, her eyes questioning. "You can probably already tell, but that shackle isn't any ordinary device. It's used to imprison the highest offenders in Soul Society. It's composed of four kidou seals. One makes that device impervious to any weapon made in Soul Society. One reinforces the lock and makes it incapable to pick. A third restrains and restricts your own use of kidou. The fourth..." He stopped, and his eyes glinted. "The fourth is the most insidious of all."

"What does it do?"

"It devours any reiatsu you attempt to use and uses it to tighten the bind." Haru stared at him, and he pressed his lips together. "I don't know what the plan is, but once you go in there, I have two pieces of advice for you." Miyake sat down on the edge of a wooden bench and lowered his head. "My first is this: tell them what they want to know. The less time you spend in that, the better off you'll be. My second is this: if someone tries to lure you into a fight, then accept the blows with a steady face, because if you resist, that is almost certain to drag you lower than you've ever been." Haru stared at her binds and flexed her fingers. "I'm only saying that because they instructed me not to take your zanpakutoh." She slowly lowered her arms and tilted her eyes to the window. "If you need some time to get accustomed to them—" Some thought drifted through her eyes, and she turned back to him with a pensive smile.

"I'm ready." His eyes widened, and he saw it, flitting through them: the plan that would be the undoing of those seals. Without saying anything, he stood and motioned for him to follow her. Haru paced behind him, examining the intricacies of the device with that same look on her face. She flexed her hands again and turned them a bit with what limited room she had, then gave a slight laugh. "Yamashita-taichou—"

"It's nothing to concern yourself with." She looked up at him. "These binds don't change anything." He nodded and continued on. "Miyake-san..."

"Hmm?"

"They should be holding my proxy here somewhere."

"You mean Shimori Hajime?"

"Yeah," she answered, pausing. "Do you know how he is?" She said the question slowly, as if she was unsure if she should say it at all. Miyake turned back to her and shook his head. "Souka." Her voice took on a hint of shadow, and something new slid through her eyes, an unspoken threat that put Miyake on edge. "You gave me two pieces of advice. I only find it fair that I return the favor." Her sudden formal turn of speech made him rest a hand on the door and glance back at her. "My first is this: if the Gotei 13 has treated Shimori Hajime more cruelly than they've treated me, then you'd better get a fourth division squad down there now so I never know about it."

"What's the second?"

"My second..." Her voice trailed off. "Is simply this: you cannot bind one who is boundless."

Silence settled the instant the door slid open. Miyake stood in it, a little shaken, but otherwise entirely composed. He gave a cautionary look back, as if to confirm that she was ready, then stepped aside, watching as she strode in without a word, without lowering her head in shame, and without turning her eyes away from her nine observers. Miyake whispered something to her as she passed, and she nodded again, so slightly that only someone truly watching her would have caught it. She held her arms low and was, to their eyes, entirely relaxed. She came to a stop and listened as the door slid shut. As it did, she recalled his words. _Remember what I said. _

With a nod, she silently replied, _Likewise. _

"What is the meaning of this?" Byakuya said in his usual deadpan. Her eyes flickered, and she turned them first to Soi Fon, then to Mayuri.

"I am not the one to ask." It was clear enough that he was seething with rage at seeing her chained in such a disgraceful way. "I accepted these binds without resistance, so that I could show those of you here who doubt me that I am not as unwilling to submit to you as you think." She laid heavy emphasis on the final word of her sentence and gave a slight turn. "Am I really that untrustworthy? Tell me, what is the basis of your charge?"

"You removed your limiter without authorization," Mayuri stated.

"Because I was up against the cuatra espada, which you damn well knew when I called you to put in the request." The edge in her voice had somehow grown sharper. "You did it to spite me, because I wouldn't let you make me a test subject."

"You failed to mention that," Ukitake said in a low voice. A murmur of agreement passed through the room.

"That doesn't eliminate the other large issue we're facing here," Soi Fon interrupted, stepping forward and thrusting her finger at Haru. She was ready for the accusation, and ready to face the consequences of them. "That girl..." She braced herself mentally. "That girl hasn't told us a thing about her power!" Her mouth dropped open a bit. Soi Fon continued speaking about how secretive Haru was, how that somehow undercut her loyalty, but she couldn't hear a word of it.

_You mean... _Haru looked down at her restraints. _This isn't about Grimmjow-san?_

_It would seem that way, _Suzaku responded. Haru slowly shut her eyes.

"My point is we have no way of telling how strong she is!"

"Then give her a chance to speak about her power. She has told me a great deal of it."

"Is that so?" Kyouraku asked.

"It is hers to tell."

"As if she would simply tell us! We have no way of proving what she says is true!" Mayuri shouted. Her eyes flickered open. "If nothing else, I have determined that this girl is, by nature, deceptive and manipulative. She can trick us into believing anything she wants. Her word has no credit."

"It has more credit than yours, apparently," Saijin retorted. "At least when she speaks, she omits details with motives that are not selfish and driven by revenge." This comment, of course, summoned a whole new wave of arguments, all of which centered around Haru, who was only half there at the moment.

It reminded her of that time.

Just after her father died, her mother met with the Yamashita family. She couldn't remember anything they said. She just remembered hearing her name over and over, detached as if it wasn't part of who she was, as if she was a thing to be talked of and not a person to be talked to. Her face grew serious at the memory. It was happening again, and in the presence of people whom she thought would know eyes slid shut for a moment as a nostalgic sort of sadness washed over her. _This is the worst. _ She felt someone looking at her and opened her eyes. Hitsugaya was staring at her, watching her expression, studying that mixture of deep sadness and mild irritation with empathetic eyes. He rolled his eyes, and she smiled slightly. Then, his look grew a little more serious. _I know, _she thought, lowering her gaze for a moment. _If I don't do something, the only thing that can come from it is anarchy. _Her eyes locked on her binds, and she bit the inside of her mouth. _Damn it... I need more time._

Haru's face jolted upward as her arms seemed to move of their own free will. She felt something solid embed itself in the wood. The hollow thud of it brought the entire room to a standstill, except for her. She saw the shadow standing behind her and drew a slow breath. _I don't have time to dodge. _She felt her mind kick into overdrive. _I don't have time to think. I just need... _Something in her eyes flickered as her expression stilled itself. _To move. _Haru threw herself backwards, wincing as the blade slit the side of her neck. Before it could turn to a more threatening angle, she shifted her feet and flashed out of the way. _Nani... too slow? _Haru threw her weight backwards and raised her binds to shield herself. The force of the reiatsu behind the blow threw her to the ground. When she opened her eyes, her vision was blurry, so she shut them again for a minute while things came back into focus.

"It's easier to tell she's lying this way." Her eyes slid open, and she found herself looking at a pair of feet. "Or else she's just good at hiding the truth." Her eyes glazed over for a moment. Then, slowly, she pushed herself to her knees and stood, her head lowered and her gaze locked on the ground. "What are you going to do? You can draw your sword, but it'll hurt like a bitch." She staggered a bit, straightened herself again, then sucked a breath through her lips and sighed slowly.

"Soi Fon, it's enough already," Hitsugaya said lowly. "It's hardly fair to let her fight you like that. At least unchain her."

"Let her unchain herself if she wants to fight so damn badly!"

_What is she trying to do? Force me into that state of mind? _She wondered what Grimmjow would do in that situation. Then, directly after, for some reason, it was followed with the same thought about Urahara, who had fought his way out once before. They had both told her many things, some wiser than others, but the wisest from each of them slid through her mind one right after the other, then together, and her eyes snapped open. "Souka..." She murmured it, but the arguments died out again as the glow of understanding gathered in her eyes. "Souka..." She lifted her head. "Why didn't I see it before... that they were the same?"

"Eh? What are you talking about?" Haru didn't speak. She let out a slight laugh as her head reeled again and stepped forward. Her steps swayed, but she kept walking in the same line.

"Try that again. I can dodge it this time."

"You little..." She felt the blade move and tilted her head at just the right moment for it to sail past.

_If I dodge, it's to hit my opponent. _Haru thrust a foot upwards, but Soi Fon dodged and tried to cut her from behind again, but Haru had anticipated it, not with her mind, but with her body. She was already moving, swaying so the blade sailed just over her face. _If I take a hit, I pay it back. _Haru relaxed and let herself be carried away by her unspoken, unwilled instinct and her own motions. Each time she moved, she narrowly avoided Soi Fon's unreleased blade. The minimal movements, she could see, were frustrating. Haru used every inch of space she was given, and the inches she didn't have, she took. A tilt instead of a leap. A turn instead of a step backwards. When she felt the wall at her back, she simply moved along its perimeter and inched her way out of the corner Soi Fon had backed her into. _If I see an opening... _Haru lowered her hands and touched the metal at her side. _I strike first. _She barely had time to materialize it before it was struck from her grasp. She could only watch as Soi Fon grabbed her seele out of the air and thrust it at her. It caught her binds at a strange angle and pinned her arms above her head, driving itself through the wood and into the wall with her palms facing the plaster. She looked up to make sure it had gone through and shifted her eyes towards her opponent again. _But most importantly... _Soi Fon drew her arm back, and Haru thrust her foot straight into the captain's solar plexus. _Put forth every effort you have, because..._

"You can still attack me when you're like that?" the captain asked, standing and wiping her mouth. Haru's eyes were level with her own. Undoubtedly, she had seen that look once before in recent days from a different face, a will to endure so raw that it was almost cutting. "You've got a lot of nerve." Haru gritted her teeth. Soi Fon bolted forward again, but by then, Haru's mouth was already moving. She whispered one word, and a cloud of silver flames forced her to withdraw. "What the hell—" When it cleared, Haru stood exactly as she had before, her eyes steady and unbending.

_There is no pride... in partial victory, and no victory... in partial effort. _The next words she spoke came after a slow breath.

"Ignis... solus." She flexed her fingers, and the bands on her seele sprang into being. It pulsed once before the shackle disintegrated back into spirit particles. _Right now... _Haru's hand fell to her zanpakutoh. _I want to cut her down. Since I last saw Aizen, this is the most I've ever wanted to make someone bleed. _Her other hand wrapped around her seele. _Demo... _Haru pulled her quincy weapon free and shot forward, scattering what flames remained, and threw it towards the ceiling. Soi Fon's eyes instinctively followed the light, and before she could even draw a breath, before she could even conceive what was happening, she felt her enemy's sword cutting through the air at an unbelievable speed, then abruptly coming to a stop and resting at the side of her neck. Shocked at the sudden contact, gentle though it was, Soi Fon couldn't speak. She couldn't even fathom words. In the face of that kind of determination, her very ability to move was taken away from her. The entire room was still. Nothing aside from the steady dripping of Haru's blood onto the floorboards disrupted the ensuing , her mind caught up with her body, and she sucked a breath through her lips before straightening and flexing her fingers. The quincy weapon fell into her hands, drawn by her reiatsu, and she flicked once to break it down, then tucked her weapons away together even though Soi Fon's sword was still drawn. Then, slowly, she turned away.

"Nande?" Haru stopped and peered back. "Why didn't you cut me at the end?" She arched her brow and turned slowly away. "You think beating me means you earned the right to keep your secrets! Like hell you have!"

"She has more than earned her right, and you know it," Hitsugaya said. She paced towards the door with the same calm, steady steps she had used in confronting the second division captain. She reached out a hand, then paused.

_Neh... Suzaku..._

_Hai?_

_All my life, I've been hiding my true self away._

_So?_

_So... _Haru shut her eyes and smiled. _Isn't it about time to show them... how unpredictable I can be? _She listened to her zanpakutoh's words, an incoherent stream of desperate pleas, but Haru rested a hand on the hilt of her weapon and smiled. _It's fine. I already decided before I came here... that before I left this room, I would tell them everything. _She lifted her head and turned slowly towards them, the same spark lodged in her eyes.

"My name is Yamashita Haru. I'm the captain of the fifth division and the nineteenth heir to the Yamashita clan. In addition, I am Kuchiki Byakuya's fiancée. I'm fifteen years old, and I was born on the eleventh day of January. I'm not a shinigami, nor am I a quincy. There's really no name for what I am, so I keep calling myself a shinigami because that's where my loyalties lie. My strengths are my determination, my eloquence, and my zanpakutoh's versatility. My weaknesses are my lack of confidence, my obstinacy, and my selfish adherence to my own pride, which often drives me to vengefulness. I'm a prodigy, but I have a certain sort of blindness. Social lines mean nothing to me; they never have, and they never will."

Haru paused, then continued.

"When I was five years old, Aizen killed my father, and when I was seven, he did the same to my mother. After that, I was trained by Urahara Kisuke for five years. During that time, I also received instruction from Shihouin Yoruichi, and a few ex-captains and vice-captains whose names aren't worth mentioning. My only friend was the quincy Ishida Uryuu, who I have always called my brother despite our being distant cousins." Another pause. "When I was fifteen, I died and came here. I passed the captain's exam with the highest score in the history of Soul Society and took Aizen's old job with the full intention of vacating the post when it came time to collect my debt from him. I never planned on succeeding, but I practically willed myself out of Hueco Mundo. While I was there, I stole the hougyoku. Since then, I have consciously used it four times."

"Just a minute!" Ukitake interjected, but she kept going.

"My zanpakutoh's name is Suzaku, just like the god and the constellation. She is the most versatile blade in Soul Society. She has four lower forms. Mizuhi is the hungry cleanser; it devours any kidou shot at me. Seishinhi is my soul's essence; it can exterminate large numbers of lower-level hollow. Kagehi is the silent destroyer; it burns a path in any cut I make. Shinseinahi is the beautiful collapse; it can bloom into my zanpakutoh's shadow or else cave in on itself. It discharges enough reiatsu to kill an espada. In addition to this, I know a handful of quincy techniques, including ransotengai, which renders any attempt at paralyzing me useless."

"Haru, wait—" Hitsugaya attempted, but she continued without hearing the interjection, her eyes even more cutting than before.

"My bankai's name is Tenraihoshi Suzaku. It takes the shape of a bow that can fire four types of arrows called risen forms. The lowest has no name, so I call it nanashinohi; it takes the form of a basic quincy arrow. I can fire them up to three at a time and at a rate of four-hundred per minute. Tsuinohi is next; if the two touch each other, then the discharge created is similar to that of shinseinahi. The second risen form is mugenhi; by firing into a highly compressed cloud of reiatsu and reishi, I can create up to one hundred arrows at a time, which makes it effective for exterminating large numbers of hollow. Alternatively, I can fire it without the disk and launch an arrow with one-hundred times the power of nanashinohi at an enemy. The final risen form... I can't speak of, not even in whispers. But before the end of things, you will know its name." Her eyes blazed and dared anyone to counter her. This time, for once, they were silent. "Between learning the second and third risen forms, I pursued a power that nearly destroyed my father's soul and extinguished all his feelings: ignis solus. It's a union of three forces: my zanpakutoh, my seele, and my own soul. Using it greatly amplifies my power in shikai and enhances my speed. Going into that pursuit, I only knew two ways of fighting: the shinigami's way and the quincy's way. But..." Her voice grew dark. "That wasn't enough."

"Haru-kun—"

"So I traveled a road no other shinigami could, and learned the way of the hollow." Haru hadn't lowered her head once while speaking, and if anything, she raised it even higher now. "I sparred with an espada on the roof of my own estate. I can't count how many times we fought, or how many times he threw me to the ground. But ignis solus is a union of three: three teachers, three weapons, three ways. A triplicate of triplicates. I left knowing full well the road I had to take."

"You're saying that you saved that hollow so he could train you?" Soi Fon demanded.

"Of course not. I saved him because he asked me to." She said it so calmly that everyone present forgot to be furious or disgusted. "I protect this place because it has given my life more meaning than I can put into words. If not for Soul Society, I would have fallen into an irrevocable, inconceivable darkness. Even so, I intend to keep protecting him. Grimmjow-san, that is." Her eyes dared anyone to challenge her. "And as for Hajime..." She smiled. "If you want to know so badly why I protect him, then you're asking the wrong person. It's not mine to tell, and I won't speak a word of it." Satisfied, she half turned away, but then, she paused. "One more thing. No matter what you do or say now, you can't change my decision. I will be there on that day to raise my blade against Aizen. That may not make me your ally, but it sure as hell doesn't make me your enemy." After all of that, no one could say anything, not even the captain commander. Even Byakuya was surprised by her bravado. She stared at them with the same audacious flames flickering in her gaze and said in a low tone and with an expression that Hitsugaya had grown to fear, "Do we have an understanding?"

The sound of a door sliding drew Hajime out of his daze. His face remained the same as he counted the steps forward. Two pairs of feet, as he expected, and one was definitely Soi Fon's. He waited until he felt the second division captain's shadow touch him. Then, he opened his left eye and peered at her. After one look at her face, he looked back to the ceiling. "Told you so."

"Shut your damn mouth," she retorted, jamming a key into the lock and throwing the door open, then proceeding to do the same with his binds. Once Hajime's arms were free, he sat up and rubbed his wrists, then stretched to release some of the knots from the rest of his body. He let out a sigh, then reminded himself to smile. "Did you really sit like that for three days?"

"More or less."

"What were you thinking about?" He didn't have to remind himself in that moment. His smile became broader, echoing one she had seen before but couldn't place.

"A room made of mirrors, filled with the eternal sound of a dying clock." He stood and stumbled once, then caught his balance and strode out the doors just behind her. As soon as he did, he looked towards the figure in the doorway. She took three quick steps forward, then stopped, studying him from a distance and moving her eyes to some other part of the dark room. When she did, Hajime caught a glimpse of the blood on the collar of her uniform. "You're hurt."

"It's nothing." Without waiting for another word to pass through the air, he closed the distance between them and touched the side of her neck with two fingers. Immediately, the pain in the wound faded, but something in her eyes changed. In the pale light emitted by the familiar medicinal kidou, they took on an eerie quality, like something at her very core had changed.

"Your reiatsu is different."

"A little," she answered. Hajime's hand fell away, as if her answer conveyed gallons of meaning that Soi Fon couldn't even catch the dredges of, and he walked towards the exit. When he reached it, he paused.

"Tell me..." Haru glanced towards him, but he was still facing the opposite direction. "Tell me, Yamashita Haru, of the two of us, who do you think is stronger?"

"Wait just a damn minute! I don't care what your ties to her are! You address her as 'captain,' or I'll throw you back in that holding cell so fast, it will make your head spin! She's your superior officer and a captain of the Gotei 13!"

"And for all that, you doubted her." Hajime's voice dropped to the same timbre he had used with Takumi. "If you cut her again, regardless of who you are, I'll kill you."

"You'd best keep that tongue in check!" Her hand drifted towards her sword, but before she could touch it, Haru grabbed her wrist, then firmly shook her head. It was then that Soi Fon noticed it, the faint trembling in the other captain's hand. "Consider yourself warned. Even if you're not in my division, I won't let you disrespect your commanding officers."

"Duly noted." He vanished around the corner, and Haru's hand slowly fell.

"What are you shaking for? He's an unranked member of the fourth division. You're a captain." An uneasy smile flitted over her face as she touched the place where Soi Fon had cut.

"Because that thought has crossed my mind more than once in the past three days." Haru lowered her hand and looked after him, then lowered her head. "An unknown power is best regarded as limitless until its bounds are tested."

"Did that hollow tell you that?"

"He's not that insightful," she said, tipping her head back and drawing a breath of air into her lungs. "That was something I figured out simply by living."

"Shimori Hajime-san."

"Hai?" He glanced up and found himself looking at his vice-captain. He had almost forgotten her voice. He drained the water from his cup and sighed.

"Are you busy now?"

"Not really. Why?"

"Unohana-taichou wants to see you." His expression never faltered, even as his coworkers gave a series of startled murmurs. He didn't need his eye to detect the suspicion laced in them, and why shouldn't they be suspicious? He had run off without saying anything to anyone for three days, and when he came back, it was only to be pitched into a holding cell by the second vision captain, who notably spoke minimally on the matter. He remained silent for a few moments, considering it, weighing his options. Then, he simply abandoned his post and followed Isane through the halls to his captain's office.

"Kotetsu-fukutaichou," he murmured. "I've done a lot of questionable things in the past three days, so I fear I have to ask you: which questionable thing does this concern? Is it one thing in particular, or all of them rolled together?"

"Taichou didn't mention confronting you regarding your actions. She seems to think, as I do, that you had your reason for them." Inside, a part of him wilted. He wanted them to be furious, furious enough at him to draw attention away from others that were also conspicuous despite their best efforts. He took a sharp breath as Isane pushed the door opened and led him in.

"Unohana-taichou."

"Yes, Isane." She abandoned her seat behind the forms and motioned to the short table with two cushions sitting opposite each other. "That will be all for now. If anything drastic should happen, please notify me, but be sure to knock first." He wasn't sure why, but there was something tense in her voice, something tense, and yet... the tone she used was overall nothing short of forgiving. He watched as she turned about the room and seated herself. He did the same with as much poise as he could muster. For some reason, being alone with her in that moment was almost frightening. "Shimori Hajime-san." She poured him a cup of tea, and he returned the favor, then glanced at the cup for a long moment. "It has been a while since we spoke face to face, has it not?"

"Hai," he answered, still looking at the tea.

"What you were doing in the Human World is none of my business." He watched as she took a drink, but he still hesitated. "I have not called you here to condemn or criticize. I simply wish to share a cup of tea with you. Afterwards, I will personally examine your eye, since your own treatment has not been enough to reduce the strain."

"That won't be necessary." He said it calmly, raising the cup to his lips, then reconsidering. Unohana peered at him, that same calm, motherly smile on her face, but he glimpsed something underneath that made that instinct he had buried long ago run haywire.

"Of course it's necessary." The low tone of her voice made him shudder. "If you keep wearing that thing, you'll go shortsighted in a matter of months. That would render your work more than a bit harder." She sipped her tea again. "But I'm sure it will get better if you let me see it."

"I think that would only make matters worse, if you really want to know." He slowly set his tea down and touched the bandage over his eye. _Takumi's eye is fine, so why wouldn't mine be? Then again, hasn't my experience shown that my eye is different than his? They have the same power, but they see differently somehow. It's not like I could put it into words if I were asked, but it's safe to say that the power his ancestor gave mine may have changed a bit over the years. _He lifted his eyes to Unohana, who was still smiling and holding her tea cup. "Besides, I don't want to risk anyone else catching it."

"I can assure you, I'm immune to the diseases most people carry when they come into the fourth."

"But—"

"Hajime-san," she said, that chiding edge back in her voice. "I never knew you to be this stubborn before." He lowered his head.

"Moushiwake arimasen."

"There is no need to be that formal with me." He nodded slightly. "Why don't you drink your tea?"

"Is it rude to say I'm not in the mood for it?"

"You should really drink something. After being locked up for three days like that, all you had were some senbei and a small cup of water." He glanced from the cup to her face, then back to the cup. "Is something the matter?" Hajime released a slow sigh. Was this Soi Fon's way of getting back at him, he wondered, for denying her victory in their gamble? And if not, was it his recompense for threatening her? He could see there were no alternatives. Even at the risk of everything, he had to do it. His head was spinning, and he clearly wasn't in a rational state of mind, but that meant very little to him. With a low sigh, he set the cup down and rested his hands in his lap, then peered up at her with his one visible eye, which grew hard and scrutinizing.

"What did you put in the tea, Unohana-taichou?" She peered at him, her smile drifting into a frown. "Did Soi Fon-taichou put you up to this, or is it that you no longer deem me trustworthy?" She gave a slight laugh and lowered her own cup.

"Neither, really. I was just curious to see if you could tell. What I put in there won't hurt you. It will just make it easier for you to talk. There aren't any side effects, either." He smiled calmly and bowed his head. "Still, the drug is scentless and tasteless in a cup of strong tea like this one. How could you tell I put anything in there? Not even Isane knows, so she couldn't have told you."

"I saw it." With a slow sigh, he gestured to his left eye. "This eye sees the world as it appears." Slowly, he shifted his finger. "This eye sees the world as it is. There is an enormous difference between appearing and being, isn't there? In other words, I didn't have to be here. I already knew this was going to happen. I can't explain how it works, or why I have this ability. Suffice to say that it has something to do with a past so muddled, I'd rather not walk into it if I don't have to. Oh, and while we're being honest with each other, I'll tell you that wasn't water earlier. It was straight sake. I only drink it when I really need to clear my head." He gauged her reaction with the same smile on his face. "You're surprised."

"I heard you were a lightweight."

"That just something I told Takumi so he wouldn't drag me out to bars all the time." He rested his face on his hand. "No..."

"No?"

"I don't suppose I can stay here after all." He rested his hands on his knees and smiled bitterly. "I've spent three days looking at myself, and I'm no closer to figuring it out than I was when Soi Fon-taichou turned the key and locked me in." He bowed his head and drew a slow breath. "I am truly grateful for everything you've done for me, Unohana-taichou." He only glanced up when she felt her motherly hand smooth his hair and push the bandage off of his eye. Hajime stared at her, blankly, with both of his eyes. Then, he bowed his head again as she held him like a child, stroking his head and smiling. Suddenly, he felt very tired, almost as if her movements were the lullaby swaying him to sleep.

"If you feel the need to leave, then I won't stop you." He tensed even though he knew it was coming. "You'll always have a place here, and you'll always have the name you told me on your first day." He could hear the smile in her voice. His eyes dropped shut, and he felt something wet on his face. His memory jarred into some distant place, and his breath became strained. "Some part of you will always be Shimori Hajime, just as some part of you will always be the student I met at the academy, and the person you were before that moment." He swallowed and lifted his head, letting his captain's smile wash over him. He felt something like kinship stirring in him, and perhaps it was his imagination, but something deep inside that woman summoned fear in him. "Do you need to find that person again? The person you were before?"

"Yes."

"How long will you be gone?"

"I don't even know if I'll be back."

Her answer was an echo in the back of his mind now, with the gates at his back closed and the wind picking at his clothes. "You will." Hajime walked without his usual smile. Instead, there was something akin to bloodlust filling his eyes. "The Shimori Hajime of the Gotei 13 or the person you were before that—regardless of who you decide to be in the end, I know you'll come back because you have the eyes of someone who knows his reason for living."

Paperwork was a relief after all the questions her fellow captains had asked her, one right after the other, until she felt like she would crack a skull if one more person asked her something. Although she hadn't entirely solidified her right to keep her seat, no one could afford to question it right now, not with the war so close. She worked away at the stacks, feeling the weight of her responsibility squarely on her shoulders, foregoing lunch and failing to realize the setting sun. She waved absently when Takumi and Hinamori had come to let her know it was quitting time, then just continued on as they exchanged looks and shrugged. The only time she looked up was when, after starting on the final stack, a hand gently pressed against hers as it hovered over the ink well. Haru smiled faintly and glanced up.

"What are you doing here?"

"It is nearly past dinner."

"I see," she answered calmly. "I didn't notice."

"You have been avoiding me."

"I prefer to call it delaying gratification, something that you are obviously not capable of doing." She gave a slight laugh and coaxed Byakuya to release her hand, then sighed and leaned back in her chair.

"Haru-kun." She didn't look at him. She simply kept her arm slung over her eyes. "If by chance your sudden aversion to me has anything to do with what transpired several days ago—" One questioning eye appeared. She remembered the look of Byakuya's face when she had turned around during her fight with Ulquiorra, the shame in his eyes as she shattered his resolve, the way his hand had refused to let go of his sword... then, without warning, she laughed. "Are you mocking me?" he asked in a tone so bland that it almost lacked the question mark. She wiped her eyes once more and lowered her arm. He didn't even try to mask the trouble that crossed his face. "If I in some way offended your pride... if I am in any way related to your emotional condition—that is to say, if my actions have caused you grief—" Byakuya fell silent as her lips met his, briefly and gently. As soon as they fell away and he remembered that need for air, her hand gently shifted along the side of his face.

"What aversion? What beliefs? You want to protect me. That's all."

"Haru-kun—" She smiled.

"And I want to protect you, too." Her smile faded, and her eyes shifted towards the window as some recent memory darted through her mind. "But Hajime..."

"Shimori Hajime? Why bring him up now?" Haru's fingers fell away from his face, and she spun towards the thing, staring outside with some sort of hunger in her eyes. "Haru-kun, I do not doubt your fidelity..."

"How would you feel?" Her question cut him off. "How would you feel if, suddenly, Rukia-san decided she wasn't the person she thought she was?" Haru folded her arms and waited for the answer. "What if she went back to Rukongai to confront that?"

"Why would she?" Haru turned to him and smiled.

"You're right. Sorry... I really shouldn't compare them." She folded her arms behind her back and stared at the moon hanging in the sky. He could see it, that memory wrapping around her. Without knowing why, Byakuya stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, then breathed against the back of her head. "What should I do?" Haru felt the unspoken question drift through him and sighed. "I've spent all this time focusing on my own power. What should I do to help him?" Haru turned to the noble and lowered her eyes briefly. "I guess now that he's gone, the only thing I can do is stay strong and have faith that he'll come back."

"Does his presence matter one way or the other?"

"Yes." She spoke the word with grave certainty. "As much as my own, if not more so." As she said it, that odd smile came over her face, the one he felt that he had seen somewhere before recently. He couldn't place it, no matter how long he stared, and by the time he felt like he was coming close, it had faded away. "You aren't concerned."

"What do you mean?"

"Any man in your situation would be suffering from pangs of jealousy. Especially you." She glanced at him. "So... why aren't you?"

"Because it is you, and if you were having second thoughts, you would tell me, not undergo some secret liaison with a man who only has a name because one was given to him." Haru nodded slowly, then let loose a slow sigh.

"You truly are too good to me sometimes."

"I know I cannot tame you." Haru accepted his embrace without the slightest word or movement. She kept her eyes locked on their reflections in the glass. "If I treated you like a china doll, you would lose a great deal of what makes you so interesting." His words brushed against her ear, and she smiled. "I suppose that means I must let you think of other people from time to time."

"Only from time to time?" she laughed, whirling to him with a mischievous spark lodged in both her eyes.

"Yes, because I want you to think of me often."

"Don't worry. I do." Haru half turned towards the window. She looked at the wall when she spoke, but he had no doubt that the words were for him. "I think about you more than I show. I won't say you're always on my mind, but you're there quite a bit of the time, lodged behind some other concern."

"Nande?" He asked the question, and Haru shot him a bland look. "I want to hear you say it." She smiled and shut her eyes.

"You know the reason."

"So obstinate." He pressed his hand against the wall and trapped her where she stood, then leaned down until their lips were only a centimeter apart. She tasted his breath, and when he pulled away, she gave him a wry look and wrapped a hand around his scarf. It was her eyes. Her eyes drew him in. Like magnets, they pulled until their lips closed together. Byakuya drew a slow breath, and Haru's grip grew more insistent. He pulled away just far enough so he could speak. "Fine. You can just tell me this way, then." This time, he kissed her, the deep sort of kiss that melted her ability to think. All she could do was hold on and wait until he drew away. She clung to his scarf with one hand and his haori with the other, as he thoroughly spoke in ways that, though they did nothing to shatter the silence, had their own ways of deafening her. He pulled back with a satisfied look in his face, and Haru pressed against his shoulder.

"You're really not fair."

"You say that when you're the one who enticed me." Haru gave a slight laugh and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Byakuya-sama." Just the sound of his name made him want to kiss her again, but he waited because it had a certain tenor that said she wasn't finished. "You are not the only precious thing in my life, but you are my most precious thing." He let himself smile, then kissed her again without letting her see it. She felt it, though, against her own lips, and when he drew away this time, she held onto his hand. He gave her a questioning look.

"What do you want, Haru-kun?"

"I want you... to drive every thought from my mind." His brow arched. "Fight me."

As usual, he had no reason to protest other than the fact that she might wound his pride a bit by beating him. And even then, he had learned over time not to mind it.

The only thing at Takumi's back was the floor. He lay with his arms and legs sprawled out and his eyes... both eyes... locked vacantly on the ceiling. His mind wasn't entirely there; it was drifting somewhere between solid reason and the dangerous rapids of emotional conflict. The only movements that betrayed his consciousness were his occasional blinks and the slow rise and fall of his chest. Suddenly, he rolled over and threw his gaze to the wall, but his brows weren't so straight. They betrayed his feelings, and he bit the inside of his lip. He rested his head on his elbow, and his other hand curled around his chest. _It's painful. _His eyes flickered in the dimness, and he drew an unsteady breath as an unwanted chain of memories worked its way through his mind. _It hurts. _Flashes of happy days, desperate days, carefree days, and they all felt like they'd passed an eternity ago. _What did they mean to you? _He breathed again, and the air tasted acrid. _You knew. From the beginning, you knew. You acted surprised when I confessed. Your performance was flawless. Was that just... _His heart hammered, and the air around him stirred. _Was it all... just a performance? _

Suddenly, he was standing in some night in the past, some night when he thought his captain was long gone. He had punished himself for it. He should have stopped her, should have seen sooner, should have tried to talk some frame of reason into her. He worked to forget, but in forgetting, he forgot to take care of himself, and so it was that one night, he had awakened in the late Shimori-sensei's house, surrounded by the dim light of candles lit by kidou and touched only by the eyes of his best friend. His own words bubbled on his tongue. "I'll tell you everything, Hajime, everything I kept silent all those years at the academy. You took care of me like this back then, too… never asked a question after I told you not to mess with it."

And there, he should have seen his mistake. He saw now, with an understanding deepened by recent events, that he should have known from the start who Hajime was, not since the first day they met, but since the first time Hajime found Takumi in a ball on the floor of his room, clutching his chest and drawing hasty breaths while his zanpakutoh painted his body with marks that looked like barbed animal stripes. Hajime acted quickly, without the slightest panic. He didn't speak. He didn't restrain Takumi or attack him. He just sat and waited until those lines receded. "What are they?" That was all he said, a point-blank question that made Takumi sit up, grab his uniform, and slam him against the wall. Their eyes locked, and he replied, in a voice no louder than a breath,

"Don't ask me."

Looking back on that moment, he realized he should have known. If it had been anyone else, they would have panicked. If it had been anyone else, they would have told someone—a teacher, a staff member, a shinigami... anyone. And anyone else wouldn't have looked at him like that. Takumi saw the memory so clearly, he could almost reach out and touch it. The look in Hajime's eyes was patience and understanding, but beneath that, there was some remnant of Rukongai leaping around beneath their usually calm brown surface.

And then, there was that spar. That one day, that one moment, when they had cast everything aside to fight each other. Sword on sword. Sweat, and the song of battle, stained in one moment of mishap by blood. His teacher begged him to quit. Even Shimori had told him he might lose sight. "I won't." He had said that. "This means too much for me to quit now." Hajime stared at him from across the room, passed him a look of understanding, and smiled as he raised his sword again. Takumi had won, of course, and afterwards had undergone a great deal of medical treatment, followed by periodic sight tests. He couldn't remember the faces of the shinigami taking care of him. He could only remember Hajime's smile. What was in that smile? Satisfaction? Contrition? That small, small drift of color that, from time to time, would push against the brown and that Takumi attributed to a life only Hajime knew about? Twice, he had failed. Twice, he had been blinded to the truth.

The third time, he should have seen it... the night he had collapsed and been found was another moment of veiled clarity.

"That eye… it belonged to Akumashoku, didn't it?" Perhaps it was Hajime's wild guess. Takumi wasn't even looking in his direction when he uttered the words. But he had never told Hajime, or anyone else, what Akumashoku looked like, and the words were so calm, the words thereafter so hurried, that Takumi now knew everything was to conceal, with difficulty, the true nature of the situation. By then, Hajime already knew what was going on. He had known from the start, and he had let Takumi go through the motions of confessing everything anyway. Every excruciating detail of the past that he himself wasn't sure he had been ready to face.

_Am I a better man for it? _His face twisted again, and he grasped his chest. _Is he any worse for it? _Takumi's frustration practically crushed him out of existence. It was bad enough that he was realizing all of this now. He felt like the past was being ripped in two, but there was one thing he felt even more in his chest, one feeling that shattered his composure into a million tiny pieces and made him pull one long breath through his lips.

He could have stopped it.

Now, his problem was as good as a world away. Takumi saw it, the exact moment Hajime decided it. He had three days to ruminate on how he would confront the situation while his friend sat alone in the darkness, confronting the many sides of the self that he had created, and when the time finally came, when Hajime walked once more among the light—

When Hajime was free, Takumi did nothing. He just let him slip away, back into the chaos outside of Soul Society. He sat up and slammed his fist into the wall, swallowing the resulting pain in silence and sinking against it. He swallowed the howl in his throat and let it out as nothing more than a hoarse gasp. Then, he let his bleeding hand drop as the stinging bite of tears swept over him. _I hate him. _He realized it. _And more than that, I hate myself, for not being as strong as taichou, for not being able to ignore the blood he carries. _When he thought back on it, Hajime had always been there for him. He had a lot of acquaintances, but he never really trusted anyone but Hajime. When he needed someone to confide in, he spoke to Hajime. When he needed an accomplice, he asked Hajime. Who had motivated him to study when his grades slipped? Who healed him when he got into scrapes? Who encouraged him to explore and utilize his proficiency in medicinal kidou? Who knew his strengths and weaknesses and played them perfectly when they sparred so Takumi would win?

Was that last one intended?

Hajime. Hajime. It was always Hajime. He was the beginning of everything, as if the strokes in the kanji of his name chained him to that role. _I was the one. All that time, I was the one being supported. He had no desire to get stronger and win matches. He wanted to study kidou. I never did anything to help him. I never said a word of encouragement or support. He was... in his own way... making sure I got to where I am. _Takumi hunched over as his chest knotted again. "Why..." He breathed the word into the room. "It could have been you. It could have been you in my place, so why..." The silence rippled, then fell still. He didn't understand. He couldn't bring himself to understand. He didn't want to think—

"Takumi." He grew rigid, but he didn't turn around. "So, you were here." He still didn't move, not when he heard the feet walk across the floor, not when he felt her kneel at his back, not when he felt his arms around his neck. At that point, the only thing he could do was press his head against the wood and let himself go.

"I am... a terrible person." He felt her stir, and his jaw clenched. Her breath fell against his ear. "How could I just sit here and do nothing after all he did for me?" Hinamori shifted again. He felt her against his back, felt her hand slide over his injured one, felt her lips press briefly against his hairline, felt the entire room grow unsteady and all his troubles melt. "How..." His voice cracked, and he dropped his head with a sharp breath. "How can she just see past all of that?" He didn't have to look up to know she was smiling. "And despite everything, how come... I can't grasp that kind of power?" He felt the warmth of kidou spread over his bleeding fingers. His injuries burned away, and he drew a slow breath as it swept over him, that feeling of being cared about that made him willing and able to face his own emotions.

"You know taichou is special." Takumi jerked slightly. "And the things she has been through... aren't the same things you have."

"I know that!" He whirled to her, his eyes wild and the wind moving in the otherwise still room. "But this isn't just some stranger. He was... Hajime." Takumi practically choked on the name. "He was my best friend. It should have been easy to accept everything, but instead, every fiber of my being pushes against it. I hate him. I hate what he is. I hate what he tried to do."

"Didn't you try to do the same thing?" Takumi's next word was nothing more than a sound, as if those simple words winded him. Hinamori touched the sides of his face, her fingers cold against his clammy skin, and her lips slid against his even as fresh tears seeped out of his eyes. She slipped away. "Maybe I don't have the same kind of clarity you and Hajime-san have, but from what I could see, he wasn't mad at you for it." Hinamori smiled and pressed their heads together. "That look on his face... it was helplessness. His was the face of someone who knows it's pointless to go on. I don't imagine he has made that face much in his life." She sat back and folded her hands. "But if he made it because of you, then you must have meant something to him." Takumi's eyes half-glowed, and he lowered his head. "It's just a guess, but maybe in that moment, he regretted it, too. He regretted tying you to himself. And I'll bet if he were here, he would apologize for—"

"Momo-san." Takumi said her name, but he didn't move. "Can you kiss me again?" Her brown eyes questioned him until he glanced up. She gave him a startled look, but she did as he asked. Their lips touched briefly, and then, he simply drew her against him.

"Ano... Takumi..."

"Stay like this," he murmured. With such desperate askance in his voice, she was no more capable of refusing than she was of going back in time to help him correct his mistakes.

When Hajime woke up, he found himself laying in the mud under a cold, driving rain. He tasted blood and bile in his mouth, but he didn't move. His whole body ached. Through the haze of darkness and mist, his vision focused on his zanpakutoh, sticking out of the ground a short distance away, unreleased.

Memories came back to him as fast as the falling rain, but none of them really remained coherent for long. They were all just glimpses of a past that one particularly bad scrape had made nothing more than a distant fantasy world.

But one memory stuck like the mud to his skin.

It wasn't often he let Takumi drag him out drinking. Even though it was easy to act any number of things, he found it hard to replicate inebriated behavior of any kind. He watched as his friend knocked back sake after sake. It was only a matter of time before he was drunk out of his mind. Hajime maintained a pleasant buzz, sipping his alcohol slowly, maintaining his usual smile, keeping his eye on his friend. "Oi... Haji..." Takumi's words slurred together, and Hajime laughed behind his hand. "What's with that look?"

"What look?"

"You know damn well the look!" Takumi shouted it, but Hajime knew it was from the alcohol, not from anger or frustration. He winced as an accusing finger pointed at him. "You look like you're a thousand miles away, your mind on something really serious, when it should be far away in a haze of sake. I thought you were a lightweight."

"Actually, this is only my second one, and I've got a buzz."

"You're a damn liar..." Takumi pushed himself up and took a swallow straight from the bottle. "I was counting. You've drank just as much as I have." Hajime gave him a blank look, then smiled.

"No offense, but you're not exactly in any condition to count, or think."

"Oi..." Takumi tipped some sake into Haijme's cup, then filled his own and raised it. Hajime shrugged, their cups touched, and Takumi swallowed his, while Hajime simply sipped it, tasting the liquid fire and smiling calmly. "I know what I counted. I was sober enough until that last one..."

"Actually, you've been tipsy since the third, and drunk for the past three."

"I'm not... drunk..." He said it at the same high volume. His head fell on the table, the hand holding the cup lowered, and he laughed while Hajime examined him. Suddenly, laughter spilled from his own lips, the kind that was so bitter, it almost spoiled the sake. "Seriously... lately, you... haven't been th'... same Hajime I remembered from the academy. You got this... weird look about you all the time. Like you're a hou... house made of glass... waiting to... break..." Hajime understood every word and stopped laughing, then grew rigid as Takumi leaned across the table, his face just inches away, a single visible eye—and one that was hidden—boring into him. Hajime didn't move, and his visible eye didn't waver. "Why... d'you... look like someone I know?" Most of that sentence sounded like one word. "That smile you've always got... I've seen..." Takumi stopped to hiccup. "Seen it somewhere... else." Hajime felt all the lightheartedness drain out of him, and his face grew imperceptibly serious. Then, he smiled. He felt the differences in it, the strain in his cheeks, the shadow in his eyes... he felt it all, and still, he showed Takumi that face, the face he knew Takumi's captain would give him not long after, when asked a question so simple that it could only have a convoluted answer. Takumi's head fell against the table again. Hajime just managed to spare the bottle of sake a descent. He couldn't say the same for Takumi's cup. "Why... d'you... have that look?" Hajime didn't ask what look Takumi meant. He simply stared at the bottle of sake in his hands for a moment, then swallowed its contents without taking a breath and slammed it down on the table, wiping the back of his mouth with a strained breath that drew fumes into his lungs and made his head a little lighter than his typical buzz.

He didn't have to ask to know. It was the look he never wanted to show anyone, the cold, scheming determination in his eyes that, from time to time, manifested itself when he looked in the mirror after taking a bath. But the fact that Takumi could see it here... what was to keep other people from seeing it? Of course, he knew they didn't, but that didn't keep him from fearing it. If Takumi wasn't blind to his resemblance to Haru, what was to keep others from seeing it? And from there, the next logical jump was simple: he resembled Haru, who resembled her mother, who had at one time or another had a liaison of sorts with _that _man.

His lips parted. He tasted the rain and the blood. His blood. His mother's blood. Aizen's blood. Then, he shut his eyes and flexed his numb fingers as he tried to collect the broken fragments of his thoughts.

Three days had done nothing for him. He spent forever in that room, in that house of mirrors inside of himself, staring at all of his reflections, and at the crane behind him in each of them. He wandered in a circle and touched each of them. He tried touching them in various orders. Once, he even tried running through one. Each time, they proved to be solid walls. The space looked big, but it felt confined for some reason. Confined and safe, and Hajime thought it was best that way. That was who he was, after all: someone who locked himself away to taste the only safety he could manage to establish. The mirrors were a barrier to anyone who tried to peer beyond them, including himself.

On the final day, a few moments before his sanctity broke, the crane spread her wings and circled him, her head bobbing as if she were hunting for a fish. Suddenly, she grew very still. Hajime watched her. He had long since exhausted himself. "Haji-kun."

"It's okay," he answered calmly. "I understand. Some part of me must not be ready to find out who I really am." He sighed as he wrapped his arms around his knees and watched his endless reflections do the same. He tilted his head up and stared at more rows of himself. "Or else it's fate that I was never meant to know, and that I was meant to stay the way I was." The sound of wings drew his gaze, and the bird was suddenly mere inches from him.

"Shinoko-sama." His heart skipped a beat. She never ever called him that. Of course, she knew about the name... or title, rather... that he had carried around with him back then, but to hear it spoken so suddenly... his entire consciousness was rattled. Without even thinking, his finger traced three characters on the surface next to him. He watched a finger from below pressed against his. As he recalled it, his finger moved in the mud.

"Shi... death." He hardly heard his own voice. "No... field." His finger kept moving. "Ko... child."

"Haji-kun," the crane had said, this time more gently, because she knew she had shaken him. "Perhaps the place you need to look is not within you."

He pressed himself up and hunched over as the pain of recent blows rose again. _Shinoko... _He coughed into his hand and spat the blood out of his mouth. _Back then, that was the name they gave me. _He stayed on his knees and stared at his sword a short distance away. _I had no other name. I didn't need one. _He heard footsteps and tried to pull himself up.

"Looky here... I think he's already been robbed. That sword would fetch a nice price, though..." His eyes shot to Shouhekitsuru immediately, and suddenly, his head cleared. "Think we should do him in?"

"Nah... he'll die soon anyway." Hajime watched as the hand reached for his sword.

"Do... don't..." Something sharp dug itself into his ribcage and threw him down, and he lay winded, a short distance away, while the man plucked the sword out of the mud.

"Boy, you're in no shape to tell me what to do. Who d'you think you are?" Hajime's eyes locked with the man's. He bent down and plucked Hajime up by the hair.

"Boss, look at his uniform. He's a shinigami!"

"This little thing? Nah... he won't do a damn thing to harm me." Hajime saw the glint of metal emerge as, overhead, lightning flickered. "But now he's seen us. That could be a problem. I think I should make him forget."

"How you gonna do that?"

"Easy." The knife pointed at his right eye, and his entire soul recoiled. "Pain's the best way to make someone forget. Sides, this kid's got an uncanny look." Hajime didn't think. He simply moved. The man had another knife. He drew it and drove it straight into the wrist that was pointing the knife at his eye. The man lurched back. The dagger caught his face, but missed the place it had been pointing. Then, without a moment of hesitation, he punched the back of the man's arm. He heard at least one bone crack and fixed his focus on his attacker. It was enough to make him scream, but Hajime sensed it coming, the blow from a fist. He pulled the knife out of the man's flesh, and with the same calm and calculating determination, he drove the knife right into the place where his shoulder met his neck. The man sputtered, then threw mud at Hajime's eyes. He hissed as earth and water blinded him, then felt someone restrain him from behind. His eyes snapped open, and he slammed his foot against the ground. His head crashed against this second man's chin, and Hajime staggered as blood ran between his determined eyes. He felt a rush of air in his lungs and his pulse throb. He tasted laughter in his throat before he heard it, the laughter of someone on the brink of insanity, and when he realized it was coming from him, he fell silent, sagging forward towards his first victim with unsteady steps with eyes full of cold determination.

"What... what are you..." Hajime tilted the knife in his hand and made one cut. He never spoke, never cried out. He simply fell face down in the mud, sputtering as his life trained out of his split throat, hissing, gasping, then finally falling still. Hajime never looked away. He watched and remembered. Then, he stood and turned towards the man's companions. They took one step back.

"Shi... no... ko." His voice cracked, and he staggered, then pressed a hand to his head. "Take... that name... and spread it through every corner of rukongai. And if you hear it spoken, or if you even think you see the one it belongs to, you'd better hide yourself and pray to whatever gods you believe in that you stay hidden, or you might wind up even worse than him." The rest of them scattered into the darkness. Hajime staggered and glanced at the corpse, then set his eyes on his sword and plucked it out of the mud. He walked around and eyed the shoddy buildings, checking to see if each was occupied, and generally finding it was, moved on. He had almost lost hope when he happened upon a small shanty occupied by two obviously famished children. They stared at him for a moment as he stood in the doorway holding a knife in one hand, pushing the cloth over the door aside with his sheathed sword. Then, just as calmly, he started to recede. He heard the relieved whimper of one of them, then the scream that followed when he simply fell over in the doorway. His right eye moved to their terrified faces. Having been a child in rukongai once, he knew the kind of things they were capable of.

It took the last of his strength, but he managed enough composure to explain himself.

"I'm sorry. I can't walk anymore. Just let me sleep. I'll leave after..." Then, he shut his eyes and put himself entirely at their mercy. He plunged into slumber before he even realized it, but although he was unconscious, one thought was always present in his mind.

_You said I'd find my answer here, in the name I once had. _Hajime stared at the mirrors around him, at the indistinguishable shadow behind them that darted away once it had been spotted, and lowered his head. _I hope you're right, and not just for our sakes, either._

* * *

><p>Another one bites the dust! Probably not as intense as the last one, but... well. That's to be expected. Here's your Japanese lesson~<p>

Souka: I see

Nani: What

Demo: But

Nande: Why

Hai: Yes

Moushiwake arimasen: Super formal apology

Senbei: Japanese rice cracker. My favorite flavor is curry, but they make them in really strange flavors like shrimp. And the shrimp ones are actually pretty good, too.

Ano: Japanese equivalent of "um."

And that is chapter 19. How was it? Hope you all enjoyed. The next one should also be along shortly. The heavy edits are later on. Oh, heavy edits... Until next time, stay healthy! (Unlike me... my immune system in new country sucks... =_=*)


	20. Chapter 20: Identity

A/N: Well, here I am again with another chapter. I'm still alive. My cold got the best of me yesterday, and I wanted to edit this one more time, so here it is. I would apologize for the wait, but... well, my waits have been in excess of six months. I think two days is pretty short. So, I ask you to enjoy!

Also thanks again to animelover56348 for the review. And public props for your predictive powers. ^_^

I had the hardest time coming up with a name for this chapter. I think it's one of my big weaknesses as a writer. ARGH. So I just picked one. I wavered between two, but this one seemed to fit better. Regardless of that, I hope you find this chapter as enjoyable as its predecessors... if they were enjoyable. ^_^'

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 20: Identity<em>

"Haru. Oi, Haru!" She jerked her head in Hitsugaya's direction, and the captain gave an irritated huff. "Quit spacing out. We've only got a few weeks left."

"I know," she answered, staring at the chess board, but she couldn't focus in her usual way. Deep down, she hated the way the pieces felt so precious in her hands. Their weight, despite their size, was undeniable. They weren't pieces; they were proxies, and this was no game; it was a gamble. She picked up the black king and examined it. "Soutaichou-sama is powerful, but we can't risk him, not right away."

"He would fight anyway."

"That's true," she answered, setting the piece back down and touching the white one thoughtfully. "I've been thinking..."

"What?"

"Well, we've been planning for the espada, and for fighting Gin-san and Tousen-san, but we haven't even touched the most pressing matter yet." Haru picked up the white king and held it in front of his eyes. "Who's going to take care of Aizen?"

"I don't want to think about that yet."

"Toushiro-san." Haru said it in a detached way, as if her mind was on something related but something he didn't know about. "We're running out of time." Her eyes were fixed on the calendar, and some strong impulse slowly passed over her face. She wanted to look for something. He sat back and crossed his arms, then lowered his eyes to the board again.

"Yamamoto-soutaichou can do it."

"What if he falls?"

"Are you kidding me?" Hitsugaya practically shouted it. "If he falls, then what does that mean for the rest of us?" Her eyes glinted, and she gave a slow sigh. "Haru. Oi!" Her eyes crossed the board, and she threw herself onto her back, staring fixedly at the ceiling. "Honestly, nothing is going to get done if you don't focus." He noted the distant gleam in her eyes and bit the inside of his mouth. "What's bugging you?" She sighed slowly.

"What is all of this even for?"

"Huh?" Hitsugaya asked.

"I mean, I understand well enough why we're fighting them." Haru shut her eyes. "I can't help but think we're just like them."

"What the—are you insane?" Hitsugaya slammed his fist down, and a few pieces toppled to the floor. They both ignored them. "Aizen manipulated people, and he hurt people that were very important to both of us. Why the hell are you asking that sort of question?" Haru gave a slow sigh and vacantly reached for one of the pieces. She lifted the rook and stared at it for a long time.

"But we're both fighting for something we believe in. True, Aizen went about it in a way we find despicable, but in the end, the shinigami have probably done some horrible things to keep this place standing." Her eyes half glowed, and Hitsugaya swallowed as he remembered his course on the quincy wars. "We are fighting him because his ideals and our ideals are incompatible. But why are we planning?" Her voice trailed off as she stared at the rook and remembered that reiatsu. Her hand closed, and she let it fall beside her, quivering slightly. "For all our strategies, there are too many contingent factors to make anything concrete." Hitsugaya folded his arms and let out a slow sigh. It was true. There were just too many things that could change. Still, as they exchanged looks, he saw that the planning was a relief for both of them. It meant that, for now, they could cope with the impending war.

"I know what you mean." Hitsugaya touched one of the pawns and rested his head on his other arm, staring vacantly at it. "Ambushes, traps, counterattacks... if all the captains go, we will leave Soul Society virtually undefended."

"We can't afford to let anyone stay," Haru said quietly. "You can bet that our enemy knows that, too, but..." Her face curled into a smile. "I wasn't just talking about contingent factors that would put us at a disadvantage." Hitsugaya's brow arched. "There's still my power. The parts I haven't unveiled, anyway. And there's Takumi, who still hasn't shown me his bankai."

"And?" She looked out the window, tapping her fingers gently on the table and smiling. Her thoughts were in some distant place, far away from the tenth division office.

"And perhaps I can convince Grimmjow-san to fight with me."

"You were not thinking of that hollow just now!" He bumped the table, and another handful of pieces dropped onto the floor. "Kuso..." Haru looked down at the rook in her hand, and something misty crept across her eyes. Hitsugaya watched as she smiled and she placed it in front of the white king.

"What about this?" she asked.

"That rook is done for."

"That depends on whose turn it is, doesn't it?" Haru smiled and flattened her hands on the table. "Perhaps the white player thinks it's his turn. In fact, he's quite convinced of it, the arrogant bastard." She leaned against her hand and gave a slight laugh. "In this game of chess, turns come as people take them. Perhaps his chance will be snatched from him, right out from under his nose, and by the person you and I think least likely to do it." Her smile faded slightly, and she stood up. "I need some air. Do you mind?"

"Not at all," he answered, seeing it was useless to detain her. Haru slipped out, and as the door shut behind him, he realized he should have gone with her. It would have allowed him to escape from the horrific thought of sitting alone in a room with the scattered pieces, the king facing the rook, and her words lingering between one silence and another.

Haru folded her arms and decided to walk the same circle for the twentieth time. She had been gone a full thirty minutes, and she still hadn't been able to clear her head. _Of the two of us... _Haru thought about it for a moment, then stopped and looked up. _Of the two of us, who is stronger? _It wasn't the thought of being weaker that frightened her. It was the question of how strong he was, and what that power would do to him. _That day he left..._

That day he left. It was so clear in her mind. She was in her office. Hinamori was gone, and Takumi was at a vice captain's meeting. Her hand was steadily at work. She hardly heard the door slide open. She hardly remembered to glance up. When she did, it was to look straight back at her paperwork. "Hajime." Haru said his name slowly, as if considering what she should ask him, or if it was even the way he preferred to be addressed. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" She waited for him to answer, as her hand scrawled away at the paper, but he never spoke. He simply waited until her eyes rose. With a sigh, she put down the brush.

"Who is it?" Haru's brows arched. "Of the two of us, which is stronger?" She smiled and stood up slowly.

"You're asking me?" Hajime eyed her as she turned around and stared out the window. "Why?"

"Because I can't make sense of it."

"Is that why you came here?" Haru spoke them slowly, as if she wasn't in as much of a hurry as those words would lead someone to believe. The question echoed around in her mind for a little while. She listened to his steps. They weren't approaching, but they weren't withdrawing, either.

"Three days. I spent three days asking myself who I was."

"And what did you come up with?"

"Nothing." Haru turned to him. "But the answer isn't here in Soul Society. I came to say that, and to tell you that I'm going off to find it." Her eyes widened slightly.

"How long?" He gave a slight smile.

"I'll be back before the year turns."

"Did you clear your absence with your captain?"

"She all but told me to go if I felt the need to." Haru's eyes flickered, and she shifted them. "Are you afraid?" She didn't answer. "Are you afraid of me? Of my power? Of what I'm capable of?" Haru still didn't speak. She only looked vacantly out her window. With a sigh, she grabbed the glasses from the corner of the desk and pushed them up so the light glinted off of them. Hajime felt them, that seriousness radiating off of her. "Will you try to stop me?"

"No," she said softly. "I told you before, go your own way. But if you threaten anything I hold dear, I will not hesitate to fight you."

"Perhaps it would be a good thing." Hajime leaned against the edge of her desk. Haru felt him trying to gauge her reaction. "How else will we ever know?" She lifted her head and shook it slowly. She wanted to say something like, _Some stones are better left unturned_, but he already knew. Some knowledge shifted in his eye. "Are you really content with knowing that I might be stronger than you?" She folded her arms and sharpened her gaze. His smile was both knowing and pleased. Haru turned towards the window and stared at the blue sky. Without knowing why, her hand twitched at her side, and suddenly, she thrust it out as if reaching for something he couldn't see. Her fingers closed, and slowly, she lowered it, staring at her own reflection as her face broke into the same kind of smile.

"You..." She laughed slightly. "You're just like him, sometimes." His face turned sour, and Haru's grin grew broader. "But that doesn't mean I think any less of you, aniki." She sat down at her desk and slid her glasses up her face, then peered at him from behind them. "You have six days, and if you're not back here, then I'll go and find you myself."

Six days...

Six days dragged so slowly that at times, Haru didn't know whether any had passed. Paperwork, strategizing, spars and meals with Byakuya... with all of that to preoccupy her, she hardly spared a moment of thought to Hajime, wherever he was. That was precisely the problem in the end: she had threatened to look for him, to find him, and in unspoken words to drag him back to Seireitei, but she had no idea where to begin. He could be in any district, any ward, and Haru didn't have enough foresight to find him. Not to mention, if she did go traipsing around Rukongai by herself in her captain's uniform, she would be a target for every rogue embittered about the class divide. In the end, although she said she would look for him, all she could do was stare at the horizon she had watched him disappear into, stretch her hand towards it, and hope against all hope that he would make an appearance.

Haru didn't have the gift of sight. Her power was formidable, but when battles got unpredictable, she relied on nothing but her thoughtless instinct for precise evasive maneuvers. She understood the rhythm of battle, the arrhythmic nature of it. She understood death and killing equally well, and she took pleasure in swinging a sword, not because the end result would be one form or another of death, but because every cut she made chained her enemies a little more and loosened her own binds. For all of that, and for all of her loathing, she couldn't fathom how she would go about killing Aizen. _I could probably do it, _she thought, _but do I really want his blood on my hands? No... there has to be another way... _But some other part of her said, _But if we aren't aiming to kill, or if I'm not, at least, it may wind up costing others their lives. _She shut her eyes and thought of the black rook facing the white king. _Hajime..._ They were the same, that rook and that shinigami. Her eyes glinted, and she fiercely shook her head. _No. I can't use my own brother for that sort of thing. _With a sigh, she gave up moving for a bit and stood still, feeling the various reiatsu shift around her. Shinigami whose names she didn't know. Farther away, students. Beyond that, there was an expansive void of nothing at all, souls who did not have shinigami powers. Somewhere in that nothingness, surely...

Haru jolted as a ball of snow hit her directly on top of the head. She prepared to upbraid the offender, but when she looked up and saw his face hanging off of the roof, the seriousness etched into his eyes, every word evaporated into a soundless retort. He tilted his eyes towards a less populated quarter, and Haru nodded, walking slowly for a bit, then flashing onto the rooftops when no one was looking. "What the hell are you doing?" she demanded as soon as she caught up with him.

"You know I wouldn't come here openly unless it was something important!" he shot back. Haru pulled her zanpakutoh without unsheathing it and swatted at him, but he darted away to a safe distance. "Oi, what's eating you?" She wrapped her hand around her sword and lowered her eyes.

"I'm going to have to fight him."

"Eh?"

"Hajime." The wind picked up a bit, and her hair swayed. "But to tell you the truth, I don't really want to."

"You afraid of losing?"

"No," she answered quietly. "I'm afraid of losing him." Haru sighed and shut her eyes, then glanced to him. "Why are you here, Grimmjow-san? Did something happen?" He jolted at the reminder that he had a purpose, then set a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't think I'm crazy." She arched her brow slightly and stepped back, folding her arms.

"Okay." His eyes were so sharp, they almost cut her. "What's up?"

"Don't ask me how I know this." She felt his claws through her uniform and stared at him, trying to read whatever shadow flitted through his eyes, but she could see nothing but his hesitation. "Listen. In twelve days, when shit goes down, I don't know where I'm gonna be or what good I can even do, so right now, I'm gonna do what I can." Haru's arms fell, and she gave him a hard look. He backed away and clenched his fist. "Damn it, why the hell do I always have to do this shit?" He scratched the back of his head and felt Haru's eyes settle on him. He let out a low growl as she looked in his direction. She didn't seem to be in a hurry, but she did seem to be waiting for something. "You already know Aizen's attacking Karakura. You know what you're up against. But there's something you didn't plan for." Haru's brow arched slightly. "An ambush."

"Ambush?"

"He's planning to whittle down the captains with his strongest front. Then, he's gonna set scores of starving hollow loose on whoever's left." Haru's eyes flickered slightly. Then, slowly, her head tilted to the side. "Do you understand what I'm saying? It's a problem. Someone's gotta take care of it." She smiled and nodded in understanding. "But no one can take care of it if—" Suddenly, she laughed, and Grimmjow clenched his fist. "What the hell is with you? Do you even understand how serious this is? Get it together!"

"Nothing, nothing. It's nothing. Except... this sort of thing..." She gave a slight laugh before gathering herself. "If I were him, I would have seen it coming." Haru's face grew grim again, and she stood. "This makes things more difficult... impossible, even... but I'm sure I'll think of something." Haru touched her sword thoughtfully. "It's been a while since I've done this. Maybe it will help to fight someone." He grew tense as he saw the determination cut through all her doubt and took a step back.

"That was an agreement we had under the moon! The pact doesn't hold power here!" Haru's hand fell, and she turned away.

"Alright." He blinked and studied her shoulders for a moment. They were rigid like a soldier's. The wind stirred, and her haori licked the air. The ends of her nutmeg hair drifted about her. She pushed one piece of it behind her ear and looked back to him. "Grimmjow-san."

"Hmm?"

"What should I do?" He watched as Haru lowered her hands and sat up. "Maybe you're not the best person to ask for advice, but I feel like I should at least hear what you have to say." Her eyes settled on him. He jolted up and started to stammer an objection, but when Haru lowered her eyes again, he knew he would have to listen. "I'm not sure why, but... the prospect of there being anyone stronger than me doesn't mean a thing. But when someone goes around saying it... questioning it... well, that's a different story." Haru looked up at him. Her eyes grew clouded, then drifted away. "Hajime says he doesn't know which of us is stronger. To be honest, neither do I. And part of me wants to know, more than anything. But that same part of me is afraid to find out the truth." She didn't look up at him. Her eyes shot right to the sun, and she stretched her hands out again. "I can't stand not knowing. I'm afraid of losing because I need to be here as a captain. But the thing I'm most afraid of is losing him, because right now, I'm all he's got. He's cut himself off from everything and everyone else." Haru finally lifted her eyes. He could see her struggling to come to terms with something. "What should I do, Grimmjow-san?"

Grimmjow stared blankly at her. What exactly was he supposed to say to that? For the first time he could remember, he wanted to throw himself into thought. A face he had seen recently flashed in his mind, and he jolted up. "Wait... is this guy the same guy that served as diversion the other day?" She nodded gently and glanced at him. His pupils narrowed slightly. "We're talking about... that guy?" Haru gave him a bland look that asked how he could have forgotten so quickly. "We are talking about the same guy, right? Brown hair, covers his right eye? Let Soul Society lock him up for three days so you could do what you needed to?" Her expression grew puzzled. Grimmjow's eyes shot away from her. "Don't fight him."

"Huh?"

When he lifted his eyes again, his pupils were mere slits. "My instincts tell me that guy is really powerful. It's different from you. I mean, you're powerful, too."

"How is it different?" Grimmjow sighed and slung an arm across his knee, then locked his eyes on the horizon.

"I can't say exactly." Haru's gaze grew sharper. "It feels familiar, like a power I've felt before. One thing's for sure, though."

"What?"

"Despite the smile, that guy's got one hell of a killing aura." Haru shut her eyes. "He can hide it from Soul Society, maybe, but I can see it plainly. Trust me. He's got sides to him you probably don't want to—"

"I know." She folded her hands and tilted her eyes to the horizon. "He told me what he did in Rukongai. He didn't tell me how many times, but the way he said it..." Haru recalled his exact expression. "It must have been too many to count." She stood up and took two paces forward, standing on the edge of the roof and squaring her shoulders. "Those memories... they would have torn him apart if Shimori-sensei hadn't helped him forgive himself." Haru felt the wind rush past her and spread her arms out, turning to face Grimmjow. "Shimori-sensei died because I couldn't react fast enough. Maybe that wasn't the whole reason, but it was part of it." Her eyes blazed. "Maybe that's why I'm taking responsibility for him." A sad smile filled every corner of her expression, and she half turned back to the horizon. "I can't carry everyone on my back, but I'll carry who I can. I carried Takumi, but now, he's got Momo-san to lean on. I carried you, but you're back on your own feet. Regardless of who he decides he is, I'll do that for Hajime, too." She drew a slow breath. "But if I see him right now, the first thing I'm going to do is try cracking his skull open."

"Eh?"

"Because I want to know." Haru spoke softly and set a hand on her sword. "I want to know the answer to that question he asked me." She tilted her eyes to Grimmjow, and he gulped at the silvery light drifting through them. "Of the two of us, which is stronger?"

"I don't understand! He's some unranked lackey in the fourth! You're a captain! How can you even ask that question?"

"The same way you can perceive his latent bloodlust," she answered calmly. "I just know. I know that for his whole life, he has hidden his power. Or maybe he forgot he had it in the first place. If we cross swords, I don't know what's going to happen. I do know I'll fight him honorably, with everything I am, and win or lose, I'll sleep knowing I did the best I could." Haru's eyes dimmed slightly. "I hope he's ready for that. He'll have to face all my pride if he raises that sword, or any sword, against me." Something unsettling passed through her gaze, and Grimmjow's eyes snapped open. There was something familiar in that look, but whatever it was, he instinctively shirked away from thinking about it. Then, her gaze cut away, and Grimmjow sank into a ready stance when a slight pulsation of reiatsu shattered the stillness of the air.

"What the hell... was that?" She stood completely still for another five seconds.

"Come on," she said, grabbing his sleeve.

"Are you out of your damn mind? If someone sees me here..."

"If anyone pulls a sword on you, I'll be there to parry." Haru whirled around and walked. She didn't have to look back to know that Grimmjow, though hesitantly, followed her on the roofs above as she meandered to a deserted corridor dotted with sleeping trees. It reminded her of the parks she had often visited in the human world, the way it was washed in dead calm and powdered with yesterday's snow. When Grimmjow ran out of buildings, he leapt down and stayed two steps behind her, hands in his pockets, casting a wary look about him. She stopped when the wind picked up and blocked her eyes. It cleared, and that was when she saw him. Her lips parted slightly as the figure shifted forward.

"Hajime..." He stopped about ten paces from her, and she stared at him, at the shinigami uniform underneath the sand-colored cloak. The wind kicked up again, and Haru's haori swayed. She waited for him to move, and when he didn't, she just kept waiting. Her patience began to stir, but he suddenly looked up at her, his right eye concealed by bandages, his left a clear, sharp brown.

"I came to tell you." He bent his head, and his lips curled into a smile. "I can't stay here." The words froze her blood and caused her eyes to widen. For a full thirty seconds, she didn't even breathe.

"What... did you say?" Haru caught the quiver in her voice and tried to set her expression, even though she knew it was meaningless to try concealing anything from Haijme. She clenched her fist and bit off whatever words were going to spill from her mouth.

"I can't stay." He said it in the same quiet way, with the same smile. "Odds are, no one here can possibly see me as an ally after the stunt I pulled the other day." Haru bit her lip and drew a sharp breath. "Do something for me, will you? Give my regards to Unohana-taichou, and thank her for her hospitality. And also... about Shimori-sensei's house... maybe you should burn it, unless you want anyone else knowing that much about your family. Anyway, it's not mine anymore. I have no claim to it, so... I guess that's it." He turned on his heel and walked.

"Don't you move another step!" Her voice was steady and desperate. Hajime stopped, but he didn't look back at her. "Not until you tell me..." His back was to her, but Haru knew he was smiling, and it only intensified that bitterness. "Which is it? Which of us is stronger?" He let out a slight laugh.

"It doesn't matter." Her eyes sharpened. "To be honest, I don't know why I ever thought it mattered." Something hollow sank into her. When he started again, she didn't call out, run after him, beg him to stop. Haru just stared, and as she did, she plucked one thing from the current of her thoughts.

_Not me. Not me, too. _Haru drew a slow breath and thrust her haori at Grimmjow's chest. "Hold this."

"What? Me? Why?" Grimmjow demanded.

"Because I can't bear the thought of losing a fight while wearing that." Haru didn't wait to hear Grimmjow's response. She shot forward, and Hajime tilted his eye back, then pulled his sword free and shoved it against hers. Haru's zanpakutoh released itself while against his, and she gritted her teeth. She focused on his reiatsu more than on the physical force he had put behind the swing. _Amazing... how could it change this much in six days? _Haru's eyes locked on Hajime's, and he redoubled the power he was putting on his sword until their reiatsu sparked in the air around them, pushing against one another with almost thunderous silence. Haru's arms shook, and she felt her feet slide before locking her jaw and shoving back. _Or... perhaps, it was always this powerful, but I never knew because I never fought him. _Haru felt her blade thrown upwards and stared blankly at him, his hood swayed as he readjusted his hold on his weapon and swung from the side. Haru caught the blow and felt herself thrown in its direction. _This is ridiculous. Is he really this strong? _She gritted her teeth and swiftly traced a hook shape in the air, but he stepped aside. At the last minute, Haru changed the angle and swept the tip of her blade across his face. Suddenly, his calm shattered, and some sort of shock overtook him. _I'm not giving you a win. And I'm not letting you walk away. _Haru blocked the blow that would have struck her head on and winced as pain shot through the muscles in her arms. _I don't really care if you're stronger than me or not, but if you want the right to pose that question question, then you're going to have to fight for it. _

Haru could tell from the light in his visible eye that he understood her perfectly well, even in silence. This time, she was the one who pushed him back. They exchanged blows in rapid succession, their reiatsu and their swords falling together over and over, crying out. Haru focused on the sound that shattered each brief silence. Then, without knowing why, she tilted her head and dodged. The wind from the blow fell against her face, and when she felt the blade twist, she threw her head back, watching it sail over her eyes. Then, she saw it: the kidou aimed at her leg. Without words, without even a sign, it sat docile on the tip of his finger, waiting for some silent command. When it came, Haru flashed backwards, but Hajime had already raised his hand with another spell. He fired, and Haru cut upwards. The kidou scattered, its remnants pursued by silver flames that devoured it and died. Haru twisted her foot and shot forward after drawing her sword back. She scurried around the first blow, tilted her head to dodge the second, and delivered the third.

_Something isn't right. _Haru scrutinized him for a moment before feeling his reiatsu bearing down on her. _He hasn't released his sword yet, yet it feels like he has. Why does he have this kind of power? _Haru felt herself thrown, and before she could catch herself, she slipped. The ground came up to meet her palms, and she sat for a moment, stunned, before adjusting her hold on her sword, ramming its point into the ground, and pushing herself up. But then, she staggered again. Her eyes shot to him immediately, clear and startled. _Just what were you trying to do with those blows? _Haru swung as another stream of kidou flew at her, then turned as Hajime reappeared behind her, another spell dancing at his fingertips. She swung and cut his palm, then staggered out of his sword's reach. She couldn't dodge the second, which cut the bare skin between the top of her glove and the edge of her sleeve. Without pausing, she twisted and shoved her zanpakutoh against his. _What... what is this? _Haru felt a whir of dizziness creep over her and drew a breath through her clenched teeth. When she did, she realized for the first time just how much effort it was taking to match him. The sweat ran down her face. She tasted the salt on her lips and felt that old surge of determination in her before throwing him back.

Hajime used her own power against her. He channeled it in a different direction and used the force to augment his own speed. Haru blocked the blow he delivered, but it threw her off balance. The direction he swung, from the ground up, left her completely open. Without an ounce of hesitation, Hajime thrust his sword forward, but Haru's hand had already found the cold metal at her side. She grabbed it, ignoring the slick stickiness of blood on her palm, and after spinning it once, she tightened her grasp and cut upward. This time, as their blades fell against each other, the ringing took on a new quality. With a murmur, the first words he had spoken since the first strike, he released shouhekitsuru, and when they fell together, Haru gritted her teeth, watching as her sword was pushed aside and his moved to cut her. _Is that it? _Haru stared into his eyes for a moment. _Is that what's bothering me about it? _Haru shifted, but the two blades swept across the place where her neck touched her shoulder. She resisted the urge to leap back and shot forward again, aiming a well-calculated thrust at Hajime's shoulder, but suddenly, her sword stopped moving. Haru's eyes shot open and locked on his hand, which was closed around her blade and bleeding. She listened to his ragged breath in that interval of stillness. While she was distracted, he twisted his sword around the seele and jerked it away, leaving her fingertips feeling numb and empty. Haru's eyes wandered to his sword, and she swallowed.

_So, it's come to that. _She shifted her weight, first from one foot, then to the other. Her muscles were burning, and sweat half-blinded her. The blade moved, and so did she, twisting so it sailed past her. He tried again, but Haru weaved around it. She applied some pressure to her sword, and Hajime staggered. He didn't give up, didn't stop trying to cut her. Each time, Haru tilted or ducked. It was always such a narrow miss. If he changed directions, she would just push her sword. She felt it against his bone, and Hajime spat out a hiss of pain between cuts. He changed directions three times, and each time, Haru dodged a little more closely than the last. The fourth was going to cut her. He could see that, and she could see it, too. Right towards her leg, the sword shot, but it never made it. "Sai!" The blade was shoved back at the intensity of her word, and Haru's hand fell to her seele. Through strategy or luck, they had gotten close enough to grab it. She twisted her blade and pulled it free from Hajime's grasp. She moved to cut him. As she did, he extracted something from within the folds of his cloak and stepped aside. Haru watched it. Then, her eyes shot even wider as the shadow he had drawn passed through her sword and slit the skin of her wrist, a stream of blood following it as its point arched skyward. She swung her zanpakutoh and watched in horror as it passed right through the weapon he had drawn.

The instant those blades crossed, she felt it.

Hajime parried her with shouhekitsuru, and Haru fell to one knee, her arm trembling as she struggled to keep herself up. _Is that... _Her eyes remained locked on the ground as her breaths faded out of her own perception. _No... it can't be... _The blackness swept up around her. She knew she would only be there for an instant, but she also knew that an instant could feel like forever. Everything was still, quiet, and unfeeling. Haru was alone, sitting in the middle of that darkness, white ripples radiating out from her feet. On her shoulder was Suzaku's avatar, her blue eyes clear and her voice silent. _I get it now. The thing that bothered me about those strikes. _She smiled as the sound of her thoughts rippled around her. _They are the strikes... of someone who has lost all his pride. _Haru looked at Suzaku, who nodded gently. She seemed unwounded despite her encounter. _That was no illusion. That was the true nature of his weapon... or that one, at least. _She nodded again, and Haru clenched her fist in the darkness, turning her smile aside. _It pisses me off, the way he isolates himself. It pisses me off because at one point in my life, I did the same thing. At school, I never talked to anyone except for Ishi-nii on occasion. I moved out of Ukitake-sensei's house when I was thirteen. Even when I was with people, I was silent, secluded, withdrawn... all because of a name. _Haru felt tears on her face in that darkness and raised a hand to touch them. _Demo... _Her thoughts became a whir of names and faces. _There were people, and circumstances, that prevented me from staying isolated. For him..._

Haru pushed herself up and drew a breath of air into her lungs, feeling the burn of everything return so quickly. That last thought lingered in her eyes as her face turned to seriousness and turned towards him. _For aniki, I will be that force. _His face remained impassive. If anything, his smile grew a bit. Haru staggered as she pulled her sword from the ground, then took her stance. She had stopped gasping, and the look in her eyes... her will was practically tangible. "You aren't afraid." Hajime's eye shifted slightly, and his smile faded. "Most people hate this look."

"I can't say it suits you," he answered. Suddenly she was looking into a distorted mirror. He lifted both of his weapons and put on a grin. "But it probably suits me even less." Haru felt a hint of uncertainty as he stepped to the left. She watched his foot move, slowly and methodically. Haru felt the seele humming in her palm, felt her zanpakutoh in her other palm, and knew immediately what she had to do. "Don't bother." Hajime's voice was low. He raised the knife and showed it to her. "Anything that touches this knife will pass through it. So far, when it's like this, nothing can parry it except flesh." Haru's eyes gleamed as the wind stirred. It was only a matter of time before someone came to interrupt them. "We need to hurry if we're going to settle this." She drew back the arm holding her zanpakutoh and spread her feet. He did the same, raising the knife in his left hand and driving his sword into the ground. Almost instantly, Haru felt a wall spring up between them. Her eyes gleamed, and she kicked a stone. As if to prove a point, the air between them sparked. "You know this barrier. It was the same one you fell against while fighting Nnoitora. You know what will happen if you strike it." Haru shut her eyes and let her weapons fall to her sides.

_Suzaku..._

_Hai, Haru-sama?_

She felt a power creep slowly through her and drew one slow breath. Then, her eyes sprang open, half glowing with a pale inner light. "Ignis solus will not be enough." Haru extended her blades outward, and for a moment, nothing happened. Then, all at once, her gloves began to disintegrate. The white haze in her eyes accumulated in her pupils and practically burst forth at the same time as her reiatsu. She turned one foot in the dirt and lowered herself into a crouch. Then, she drew one slow breath as she felt the power in her resonating. Hajime watched with the same blank look, but underneath that, Haru thought she felt the same interest, the same awe, she had felt when she faced Ulquiorra. She crossed her weapons and bolted forward, eyes locked on his.

_I don't care. I don't care if it hurts. It can't hurt worse than what you're doing to yourself. _She drew them back and gave him one last look. Then, to his surprise, she disappeared.

"Nani?" He whirled in an attempt to catch a glimpse of her. Then, all at once, he felt the jarring change in pressure, and his barrier came down around him. Hajime turned to Haru, seeing that the sparks of his reiatsu still leapt along the edges of her blades and even partway up her arm. She twisted her sword and cut upwards, slicing along the side of his face and nicking his temple. As he swayed, the bandages came unwound from his right eye. Without thinking, he thrust the dagger forward. She stopped it from piercing her heart, but only by raising her arm she held Suzaku with and using it as a shield. A ragged cry crept from her lips as she felt the metal slide into her. The point was only a centimeter away from her chest.

In that moment, everything came to a dizzying halt. Hajime, his seriousness shattered by a look of astonishment, stared at the top of Haru's head as she hunched over. His instinct said to pull back, but he couldn't. She had already thrust her Seele into the ground and seized his arm. As soon as her fingers closed around his wrist, she lifted her eyes. The plan in them was evident enough to him. "You... you wouldn't dare!" Even as he spoke, Haru gritted her teeth and managed the smallest flick with her sword. The red flames sprang up around them instantly, a crushing crimson cyclone that rattled Hajime to the bone, but before it could go any further, he jammed his own weapon into the ground and threw up four layers of kidou barriers around the one from his sword. Haru's eyes remained unchanged, and they were still glowing dimly, now lit by the red embers swirling around them. Hajime twisted the knife, and she released another cry of pain. Her eyes watered from it, but she didn't let go. She pulled closer to his face, her eyes resting on his, then dropping to the seele in the ground. Haru felt the jarring reiatsu of the dagger in her arm jolt through her and swayed, but she didn't back down. She was gasping for breath, but Hajime was no better off. His eyes, now that both were visible, had turned grim.

_Look at me, _she said with her eyes. _Tell me who you are, and tell me clearly. _Hajime hissed, and she lurched forward again, her face just inches from his. _You've already been speaking in turns. Don't you know that? When you swing your sword, when you raise it against another shinigami, it speaks. _Her seriousness didn't wane, but she did smile slightly, which only caused him to grow more confused. _I've heard every word. _Hajime's knees practically buckled as the reiatsu crushing down on them intensified.

"You're out of your mind! If this barrier breaks, we're both going to get caught in that!" He gave her a pleading look, but Haru's face remained impassive, and another two layers crumbled. Hajime tried to pull back, but her grip was steady as an iron shackle, her eyes cold fire. "Come on, Haru... what are you trying to prove?"

"I'm not trying to prove anything." His eyes shot up as the flames fell against the barrier cast by his zanpakutoh. Then, he glanced to her. "Which one of us is stronger? I don't give two shits about that anymore. If that question has an answer, I don't care to know it, but I care enough about you to give you this advice..." Haru watched his expression change and gave a slight laugh. "Don't you dare run away, Hajime."

"I'm not running away from anything! Now let go of me!"

"No."

"Haru!"

"I won't." Her eyes glinted as they fell. "I won't let go." Hajime drew a sharp breath through his teeth at the sound of a crack. "And I won't run away, either." Another crack. This time, he shuddered and tried in vain to pull away. "This is the last of it, Hajime. We're going to settle things."

"Don't make me do it, Haru."

"Which of us..."

"Don't make me do it!"

"...is stronger?" Hajime glanced up as another crack shook the barrier. Then, he noticed it, the liquid flame seeping through the crack. It moved infinitesimally slowly, creeping towards its target. He couldn't stop watching. He couldn't breathe. He drew only helplessness into his lungs. In Rukongai, he had faced many things and many weapons. Fists, brass knuckles, homemade horrors—innovations made of scrap metal and refuse—that could gut him in an instant... but the one thing he hadn't faced was fire. As a shinigami, he only knew it as kidou, the pliable spells which seemed to follow his will. As someone from one of the poorest districts, he knew fire as something that could warm the body or roast people alive. He thought he had known Haru's fire, but even with his eye, even having witnessed her fight several times, he realized as the tongue of red flame moved towards the seele that he understood nothing. This was no ordinary flame. It was pride incarnate, and having no pride himself, he knew he couldn't even come close to competing with her level of power. A tongue of red flame wrapped itself around the handle, and he prepared himself for what was to come.

But it didn't.

Hajime's eyes never left Haru, and her seriousness never once waned as the flames spun themselves through the air and turned gold. Through the knife in her arm, Hajime felt her reiatsu shift to a degree that he knew made her head spin, but she never staggered, never once glanced away from him. She simply released his arm and stretched out her hand towards the flames, letting them touch her and smiling. Then, she closed her fist, and the embers scattered, lighting up the area around them with a short-lived speckling of miniscule golden shards. It took a moment for Hajime to recover himself, but when he did, he looked down at her arm, then touched her shoulder. She glanced at him, braced herself, and nodded. Once the dagger left her flesh, she let out a shaky breath and swayed where she stood. Then, without missing another step, she jerked her seele out of the ground and sheathed both of her weapons, pacing away on completely stable feet. As she passed him, eyes locked forward, she only said. "Go your own way, aniki."

Even after she was gone, those words assailed him. He kept his lips together and stared at the ground. Then, after slipping the dagger back inside of his uniform and sheathing his zanpakutoh, he covered his right eye with his hand. Before confronting Haru, he thought he had known his resolution, known who he was, but now... now that the dust between them had cleared, he wasn't sure. He lowered his hand and stared in the direction he had planned on going, then half turned and traced Haru's line of steps with his eyes. Hajime felt the fork in the road and sighed. Things would have been so easy if he had just disappeared. Unfortunately, even though he was heartless enough to kill, he wasn't heartless enough to leave Haru with any uncertainty about what had happened. Besides, if she looked for him and wound up hurt herself, he would have all the more reason to hate the person he saw reflected in those mirrors.

There was really only one thing to do.

With that thought still fresh in his mind, the one who was called Shimori Hajime stepped off the cusp of indecision and went his own way.

Haru paced steadily forward, ignoring the ache of her injuries and the weariness in her body. She was nothing but her movements. She didn't hear her blood dripping on the pavement. She hardly possessed an expression. Her eyes were dim, but the light in them flickered every now and then as if consciousness itself was struggling to stay with her. Haru had one hope, and only one hope: that she would be met by no one on her way to the fourth division, and, as per usual when she truly needed solitude, she glanced up as the hollow echo of her name rippled through the air. Her eyes wandered from one face to another: Kyouraku, without his usual calm smile; Ukitake, with a look that betrayed his concern; Hitsugaya, with his lips parted and his jaded eyes stunned. She gave a slow sigh, then smiled faintly. "Haru, what the hell... happened to you?"

"It's nothing."

"The hell it is!" Hitsugaya shouted. "You should look at yourself! You're bleeding, and that look on your face..." Haru pressed her hand to her forehead and tried to suppress that seriousness, but it wouldn't go away. She gave up trying to conceal it, but she kept her smile.

"Oi, Haru-chan, if there's something that way we should fight..."

"Nothing," she murmured, giving a slight laugh. "It's alright. It was only a spar."

"You call _that _a spar?" Ukitake demanded. "On my way here, I got a report that the fluctuations in reiatsu messed up some instruments at the twelfth. Just who were you fighting?"

"No one." She smiled faintly. "I guess it got a little more serious than I realized. Anyway, it's my fault. I was the one who drew first, so I take full responsibility for it." Haru spoke calmly, not once wavering. She flexed her fingers.

"Where's your haori?" Ukitake asked. Her eyes snapped open, and when she remembered, her smile grew more false and more intense.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." She gave a slight laugh. "Don't worry. I'll get it back before tomorrow."

"Why the hell did you take it off?" Hitsugaya demanded.

"I couldn't fight that battle as a captain."

"Haru-chan," Kyouraku said. "You know, I admire your spirit, but seriously... being a captain's not something you can throw away at your convenience and then just pick back up. You should really treat your position with more respect." She lowered her eyes.

"Hai. I apologize for my lack of prudence."

"It's fine, it's fine," Ukitake insisted. "Come on, let's get you to the fourth. I can't imagine what Byakuya-kun would say if he saw you like this."

"He wouldn't say anything because he knows better... unlike some people." Haru straightened and released another breath. "Anyway, I'm heading there right now. I can go by myself. I don't need an escort."

"Seriously?" Haru smiled to verify her condition. "Haru, are you sure you're okay?"

"Of course I'm sure. I'm totally..." But even as she said it, she felt her consciousness and her balance waver. A look of surprise overtook her face as she succumbed to gravity. Before the ground came up to meet her, she felt her arm fall against something warm and hissed as that something straightened. The wound in her shoulder throbbed, and she drew a slow breath, waiting for her vision to clear. She shifted her eyes, and they snapped wide open. "Ha... Hajime..."

"Let's go." She gave him a questioning look. "Let's go together." Haru lowered her head and drew a breath of frigid air into her lungs more hastily than she had intended, partly because the way her emotions shifted, partly because he had adjusted his hold and jerked one of her injuries more sharply than he had intended.

"I told you to go your own way."

"This is my own way" Haru watched his eyes skim the faces and watched his expression waver. He bowed his head so his eyes were hidden and dropped his voice so only she could hear it. "Before everything else, I'm your brother. I was an idiot to think that leaving here would change that." Hajime's eye reappeared, clear of that prior seriousness, and full instead of unspeakable sorrow. She could only bear it for one moment before she bowed her head. She tried to think of what would happen if she confirmed that fact, tried to consider the time and place and audience, but she couldn't stop the wave of relief that swept through her, or the impulsivity on its heels. A sharp breath cracked she silence, and he felt her fingers clutch his shoulder.

"Hai." Hajime jolted slightly and felt her shaking next to him. "Let's go... together." Without a word, he pressed his hand against the back of her head and cast a look of apology at the ground. Then, with his resolve intact, he straightened and walked, supporting Haru even though he wasn't sure whether he could support himself. He didn't shirk away from the eyes that followed him. He challenged them, and ultimately silenced his onlookers with nothing more than a look. As they paced away one slow, unsteady step at a time, Kyouraku let out a soft whistle.

"Damn... that kid's got a look about him."

"Should we do anything about it, Shunsui?" Ukitake asked.

"Nah... he's just a kid." He touched his hat as the wind swayed. "Besides, if he can stand on equal footing with Haru-chan, he's more than worth keeping around, wouldn't you say?"

"She wouldn't let us _use _him like that," Hitsugaya insisted, folding his arms. He twisted and started walking away. "Let's keep this quiet if we can. Haru sparred someone, got out of hand. You know the story."

"Are you sure we should be covering this up, Hitsugaya-taichou?" Ukitake asked.

"And have that Kurotsuchi bastard interfering again?" He said it bitterly. "I don't question his authority as a captain, but where Haru's involved, I'd rather leave him out of things. If that's not agreeable, you can say whatever you want, but if she cracks his skull open—and she's likely to if he interferes—then good luck finding a replacement." He left them with those words. He wouldn't have spoken them if not for the stress he was undergoing. But there was something else, too, that unsettled him, aside from Hajime's sudden reappearance bearing wounds surely inflicted by Haru. It was in that moment when he closed his eyes between folding his arms and turning around. When he had, he heard Haru's earlier words echo through him and saw nothing but the black rook on the chessboard.

"Don't welcome me back yet." Those were the next words Hajime said. These were to his captain. They caused the half-conscious Haru to stir slightly and cast him a questioning look. "It's not that I'm not happy to be back. It's just... I'm not quite sure what name you should call me by yet." Unohana's maternal smile had wavered into shock and concern, the same way Kyouraku's had earlier. Hajime shifted his eyes to Haru, then glanced back up at her. "This is my responsibility. Let me take care of it. I'll tell you everything afterwards."

"Shimo—" Hajime's eyes turned cold, then fell away. He walked forward in the same steady way, but Haru seemed to be supporting him as much as he was her despite her condition. He took her to an empty room and made her sit down. Then, he got to work. Before he could touch her wounds with his kidou, she grabbed his hand and shook her head firmly.

"Heal yourself first."

"What?"

"I drew on you. It's my responsibility, not yours."

"But I—" Her eyes remained resolute, and she turned his hand over, staring at the bloody gash in his palm.

"It must have hurt a lot." Hajime closed his fist, and blood dripped from it, drawing a slow hiss through his teeth and dropping his head. Then with a haste he didn't usually exhibit, he staggered and slumped down in a chair a short distance away, pressing his fingers to his eyes and releasing his shuddering breath. "Aniki..."

"You're right." Haru's eyes widened when she realized they weren't talking about his wounds. "It hurt. All of it. Learning the truth, cutting everything away, abandoning my place here, living for six days in poverty and constant fear... but none of that hurt worse than trying to turn away from the only thing I had left." Haru spotted the tears running down his wrist and listened to him draw a breath. Suddenly, he raised his face, smeared in part with the blood of his wound so that the violet ring of color in his right eye stood out vividly. "You were the last thing binding me here! Why..." He let out a choked sob. "Why didn't you just let me go?" He jolted up when the weight of her hand fell on his shoulder.

"Because before everything else, you're my brother. Besides, I already told you, I won't let go." Something in his heart stilled, and slowly, he lowered his face onto her shoulder. He felt her fingers resting on the back of his neck, drawing his tension out. "Maybe it wasn't always like this, but you can't just tell me the truth like that and expect me to leave you alone. You're family. I protect my family, same as I protect everything else. So if you think I stopped you so I could make you fight in this crazy war, so I could use you as some kind of last resort, you're wrong. I stopped you because I'm not strong enough to watch you walk away." Haru let out a slight laugh and tipped her teary eyes towards the ceiling. "We are the same in this... exactly the same. I ran away from my name, too. I hid who I was. I didn't want anyone knowing." Haru smiled and lowered her head, murmuring into his ear, "For some people, becoming strong means filling the name they have. For you, and for me, strength means rising above the names we've been given." He lifted his eyes, tear-stained, blood-smeared. "You should really clean yourself up. I'll be alright for fifteen minutes by myself." Hajime nodded and stood, sliding the door shut behind him and telling someone in the hallway it was occupied, and that the patient inside was his responsibility. The shinigami didn't question him, or rather couldn't considering his current state.

The feeling of hot water was almost shocking to him. Six days in rukongai, and the closest he had gotten to this was washing up in the icy stream. He nearly collapsed as it hit him. Almost more than Haru, that rush told him that he was back. Even then, the memories of that place lingered. Everything that had happened was as much a part of him as every event before that. He rested his palms against the wall after healing the gash in his hand and sank down. One after another, they disappeared as if they weren't even there. The cuts, and the dirt from rukongai that he had carried back with him. The thoughts were what stayed. Her words remained lodged in his head—he chuckled was he realized he wasn't the only one to remember what she had said lately—and cast a bitter smile to the tiles he knelt on.

_This was all meant to happen. _He shut his eyes and consoled himself with that, rubbing his face with soap to clean away what he could. He shut off the water and dried himself, rubbing his head vigorously, then smoothing his hair back and pulling on a fresh uniform piece by piece. He slipped his sword at his side. His dagger, he hid in the folds of his shihakusho. Then, he looked at himself in the mirror, his right eye flickering gently with his reiatsu. He dried his head one more time and threw the dirty articles into the laundry, all but the dun-colored cloak. For six days, it had kept him warm and his face hidden. He tucked that final article into a locker and pulled the key out, tucking it in his uniform and pacing towards the room where he had left her. _It was meant to, but... _Hajime sighed and pushed the door open. Almost immediately, Haru glanced up. He slid the door shut behind him and returned to his chair. "Alright?"

"Alright." He healed her wordlessly. Haru watched, her eyes focusing on his every move. Inside, he knew she was trying to read what reiatsu he gave off with his kidou. She looked up into his face, and his eyes wandered away from her. "Where did you learn to fire kidou without spells?" He paused and looked up at her, then set his eyes on her wound again. Haru felt the tingle as the cut evaporated and watched as Hajime's smile changed somehow. "I thought names and spells gave kidou power."

"That's what they say."

"But not for you."

"I'm special." He finished healing her last wound and sat back in the chair, watching as Haru swung her feet over the bed and waved them slowly in a manner he would have expected to see from a child. "I guess I found out I could once when I was hunting hollow during my academy days. I got left behind and had to struggle my way out of a tough situation. In the middle of it, I realized that I didn't have time for chanting spells or shouting names. At the last minute, before one was about to eat me, I just shot it. But maybe I'd done it once or twice before that." He looked up at her to find her eyes locked on her waving feet and chuckled. "Though I could ask a similar question... where did you learn to change forms like that?"

"It's something that comes from ignis solus." Haru shut her eyes and let her smile overcome her. "Once I reached the peak, I realized I could do things like shifting higher forms to lower ones. It's convenient, but it's really taxing. I'm completely exhausted, and all I want to do is sleep. But I know I should go back to strategizing with Toushiro-san just to make sure he doesn't panic. And after that, I should probably go find Grimmjow-san to get my haori back. I think we scared him off."

"Probably," Hajime stated. He folded his hands and sighed.

"That knife... what is it?" He shook his head.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Is it a zanpakutoh?"

"It's mine, yeah."

"But I thought that was your zanpakutoh." She gestured to shouhekitsuru, and he rested a hand on its hilt.

"She is." Haru cast him a questioning look.

"So you have two of them."

"Looks that way."

"But how?"

"I left one behind when Shimori-sensei found me. I forgot I even had it in the first place." Hajime sighed and lowered his head. "You know how it works for most shinigami, right? A zanpakutoh, I mean. You get a sword... I can't remember what it's called... and your spiritual pressure acts on it, changes it into a weapon. Usually, you're given one at the academy. I found one by pure chance. Someone must have stolen it, or else the person who had it before must have been killed. In either case, it came into my possession, and it was my only friend out there." Hajime drew the knife out and twisted it. "How many people have died on the end of this thing? And if I had bothered to count, would the thought drive me madder than the thought of having killed people with it does?" He ran a hand through his damp hair and leaned forward, giving her a long, completely placid look. "I'm the only shinigami in Soul Society with two zanpakutoh. I can use them both at the same time. I used them both against you."

"What about bankai?"

"Who needs bankai? I can fire kidou spells without words. I can throw up barriers that will kill anyone who touches them. I can slit throats without people even realizing they've taken their last breath. No... shouhekitsuru, and this one, too—if anything, they each became something that could protect someone who relies heavily on kidou. Still, I'm relieved that power is closed off to me." He smiled. "It means, as a captain at least, no one can compete with you."

"Don't flatter me, aniki." She set careful emphasis on that word, and Hajime smirked before leaning back in his chair.

"About what Grimmjow said to you today..." His voice trailed off, and Haru glanced at him. "Let me take care of it."

"What?" she demanded after a second of silence. "What do you mean? You? By yourself? Against scores of hollow that are starved and driven even madder by their hunger? You're out of your damn mind!"

"Come on. I can do it." Hajime smiled. "Besides, you won't let me have a crack at Aizen, will you? You're selfless, but that's something you'd rather do yourself." Haru gave him an acrid glare, and he chuckled. "I know I'm right, so don't deny it."

"Aniki..."

"I can do it." He lifted the sheathed dagger. "Besides, I've got this now. Nothing can stop me. Just have Grimmjow let me in to the void. I'll find my own way out." Haru stared at the floor. "No one has to know about that underhanded ploy of his. I'll take care of everything, and when the sky opens and only darkness falls out of it, you'll know I've done my part."

"Aniki..."

"Of course, if I happen to fall out along with it, then that will be rather lucky, won't it?" Hajime chuckled again and drew one leg up. "Trust me, Haru. I've never shown it before, but for the first time in my life, I feel like I want someone to see that side of myself." Haru sighed and lowered her head.

"I'll think about it."

"You'll decide when you least expect it." Hajime smiled again, and Haru suddenly felt the need to curb his ego.

"So... did you figure it out?" she asked.

"Figure what out?"

"Who you are." He laughed. He was just in that sort of mood.

"That is why I left, isn't it?"

"Baka aniki. Did you really forget?"

"It's not so much I forgot. I just didn't want to think about it. Anyway, deciding something like that is kind of complicated."

"Well, do the rest of your thinking here. At least that, way, I can keep an eye on you," Haru stated, glancing up to find his smile had vanished. "Is something wrong?"

"I don't know." He sighed and leaned forward. "Back in my academy days, when I thought I'd never really know who I was, I just figured I'd carry Shimori-sensei's name until the end of my days."

"You still can, as a memorial to him."

"Yeah, but it doesn't feel right." He leaned back. "I could use Shinoko."

"Shinoko?" He traced the characters on the covers, and she stared at him. "That's too dark a name for you, aniki."

"In case you haven't noticed, I've had my fair share of dark moments. Killing people doesn't bother me. I think the name suits me."

"Yeah, but it only captures part of you." She folded her hands and threw herself back on the bed. "You'd have to play an instrument to understand. Sometimes, words are more about meaning. They're about sound, too. I learned that playing the violin. Sometimes, single string speaks more loudly than a well-rehearsed speech."

"One would think by the way you speak that you don't understand such subtleties of meaning."

"I understand more than most people give me credit for." Haru stretched her arms up, and the cross on her wrist jingled. "Haven't you come to some sort of conclusion?"

"Of course I have. I realize now more than ever that I am the self I left behind in Rukongai, and I am the self that Shimori-sensei raised to be a shinigami. I'm not one or the other. I'm both of those things, and maybe a little bit of every moment between them. I am the healer. I am the killer. A walking contradiction."

"Then you're no different from me. I walk around calling myself a shinigami despite my quincy parentage." Haru twisted her hand and watched the light playing off of her cross. "The name Hajime will stay at least, won't it?"

"Probably. I can't imagine myself answering to anything else. It's the name Shimori-sensei gave me when he brought me back here. Maybe that's why I don't feel like I have to hold onto his name. The name he gave me feels real, but carrying his name seems so false."

"Well, you can't take up his name, can you?" Hajime gave her a blank look, and she sat up. "Aizen's I mean." His expression turned to distain. "I wasn't suggesting it. I was stating the impossibility of it." Haru's smile faded, and she gave him a serious look. "Hajime."

"Hmm?"

"Maybe it's not an option for you, but when I was struggling, trying to find out who I was, looking for a way to overcome my own roots, there was a name I carried." His eyes snapped to her again, this time horrified. "Though... maybe she doesn't mean anything to you, either, considering the fact that she just abandoned you. But you've got just as much a right to it as I did."

"You're serious."

"It's like saying the truth without really saying it."

"But people will know..."

"That's part of rising above that half of your blood." Haru smiled and lowered her head. "It will hurt. I can't save you from that pain, but maybe I can help you through it."

"But what about you?"

"Since when have I cared about my reputation?" She stood up and stretched, then walked towards the door. On her way, she touched his shoulder. "Take the name. It's yours if you want it." Then, she left him there with his own thoughts. She would like to have stayed, but she had things to do.

"Oh, Yamashita-taichou!" She whirled to Isane as the shinigami rushed up to her. "Thi... this belongs to you. Your vice-captain dropped it off a little while ago. Something about getting it from a friend of yours? Anyway..." She fumbled with her words, and Haru took it. It was her captain's haori. Without another moment of stillness, she flicked it over her bare arms and straightened it. "Aren't you going to be cold if you go out like that?"

"Thanks for your concern, Isane-san, but I'm alright." She smiled and nodded. "Hajime is fine. He's just resting for a bit. I got the idea that he wanted to be alone to think some things over. Six days in Rukongai does that." _Not to mention everything else on his mind. _She buried the last bit under her smile and left the fourth division headquarters. After a short walk, she returned to the tenth, opening the door after a half-knock to find Hitsugaya reclining with his eyes closed. She crept into the room and slid the door shut, then knelt at the chess table. Nothing had been righted. Nothing had been moved. The pieces were still the same... the rook and the king.

"Whose turn is it?" Hitsugaya murmured, opening his eyes and sitting up as Haru sat down. Instantly, the air them became filled with thought. "Haru."

"Hmm?"

"That fight you had earlier... was it with Hajime?"

"Maybe." She stared at the rook again and reached out for it. "Maybe that person... will be the one." She thought about what Hajime had told her of his power and smiled. "Perhaps in some ways, he is stronger than me after all."

"Haru!"

"It's fine," she murmured. "I don't care if someone out there is stronger than me."

"If he's that strong, he should be a captain."

"He has no bankai. He told me so himself."

"But—"

"Listen, Toushiro-san." Haru folded her hands and stared at him. "In all honesty, I don't care if he's stronger than me or if I'm stronger than him. I just don't like it when people make claims to that sort of thing without really ever having tested it." She picked up the rook and stared at it. "He showed me he has some claim to say that today. But there are many ways that Hajime can never be stronger than I am. He has power, but he doesn't have strength, because he has no pride and no reason. And considering what he has told me, I can't say I blame him." She set the rook down again. "Though I can't help wondering... if this rook will take the turn." She leaned against the board and stared at the black queen. Although it was far away, facing off after a white bishop at the other end of the board, it was also putting the white king in check. The bishop was also in position to capture the queen. She shifted to that end of the board and rested her hand against it, lowering her chin to the squares and tipping the piece with her finger. "Whose turn is it over here, Toushiro-san? If it's mine, I know where I'm going. She slid the piece across the board to sit next to the rook. "Now, he's got two choices. He can destroy the queen and all her versatility, or he can capture the rook. The trouble is, he doesn't know the rook is there. He doesn't even know the rook exists, because he's looking at the queen and dreaming of her demise."

"You sound sure of that. Still, what does one existence do to change this situation? If all our people fall except you and this one, what good will that do?" Haru looked up at him.

"You really think I'd let all the captains die just so I can get a shot at Aizen? No." She picked up the black pieces one by one and set them on the chess board, always so the white king was in check, or his knights in danger of being captured. When she was finished, she looked up at Hitsugaya with serious eyes and said, "I will not allow it." His breath hitched. He had forgotten who he was dealing with, and Haru had just reminded him with a sentence no longer or louder than a breath. "I can't save everyone, so I'm counting on others to save themselves and their comrades. Forget arguments. Forget bitter feelings. Forget it all. If we aren't doing this together, then we've lost before we started. That goes for me, too. I have to put aside my bitter feelings towards Soi Fon-taichou and Kurotsuchi-taichou. That will not be an easy task." She lowered her head. "At the same time, if Grimmjow-san decides to join us, and I plan to ask him soon, then you will also have to set those feelings aside." Her eyes rested on the rook again, and a placid thoughtfulness overwhelmed her. It dissipated when she heard footsteps running in the hallway, followed by the slamming of a door pushed with urgent force.

"Taichou!"

"Matsumoto! Where the hell have you been?"

"Never mind that. Yamashita-taichou... what's going on?" She glanced up at the woman who had barged in. "I just heard from someone down at the fourth that that crazy Hajime guy is calling himself by your mother's name now!" Her eyes widened for a moment, then rested on the rook.

"Is that so?" She folded her hands and smiled. _News travels fast here._

_When people want it to, _Suzaku added. She gave a slight laugh and glanced up at Matsumoto.

"Come on, Yamashita-taichou! This is serious business! Did that guy knock a screw loose or something?"

"No. I told him he could use that name if he wanted to. I don't have need it anymore."

"Is something like that really alright, though?"

"Matsumoto..." Hitsugaya said, his tone resting at a cold simmer. "We're in the middle of something important."

"What do you mean, taichou? All you're doing is playing chess and trying to steal Haru-chan from Kuchiki-taichou." Haru hid her laugh behind her hand. It was so absurd, she couldn't stop herself, but she did when Matsumoto's arms crushed her. "Poor little Haru-chan... everyone is fighting over you."

"Ran...giku-san..." she choked. "Let... go. I can't... breathe..."

"It's horrible, isn't it? Don't worry, though. I'll protect you..."

"I don't need protected from that!" she managed. Matsumoto let go of her and rested her hands on her shoulders.

"But seriously, the kid's crazy. He says he's got a right to it because he's your brother of all things." For the second time, Haru's face grew blank for a moment, then melted into a smile.

"So, he finally said it."

"Eh? You mean it's true?"

"Matsumoto..." They could both hear the shift in his tone. "Get the hell out of my office and do your damn paperwork!"

"Taichou! You're so mean, uttering curses like that in front of ladies!"

"You're no lady if you've got the gall to march in here without knocking first! Now get out!" He practically chased her out of the office. She finally did retreat out the same door she came in, shutting it with the same haste she had opened it. Hitsugaya pressed a hand against his face and peered at Haru through his fingers. "You know I've got no interest in you like that."

"I know," she answered. "The feeling is mutual. You're a friend of mine, and someone I can relate to since you're a child prodigy." Haru rested her elbow against the board and leaned her chin on it. Silence filled the space between them, and Hitsugaya watched Haru for any change. Her eyes remained thoughtful, but clear.

"Is he really your brother?"

"If he says he is, then he is."

"What kind of answer is that?" he retorted. "He either is or he isn't."

"It's his to tell," Haru answered, just as calmly as she had given her last response. She looked at the dark sky outside the window and rose. "We can pick up where we left off after New Year's. I have people I need to see tomorrow." Hitsugaya listened to her walk towards the door. He listened to it slide open and held his tongue. What was it that he wanted to say exactly? Congratulations? Good luck tomorrow? See you at sunrise, or at the captain's party tomorrow night? He turned to her.

"Haru." She turned around, setting her gaze on him. "Take care." She smiled and bowed, then slipped out of the office. For the second time that day, he was left alone with nothing but the pieces on the chess board and her words. He lifted the black rook and turned it over in his hands.

"Tokazawa Hajime." He said it thoughtfully, then smiled and lowered his head. "Huh. I guess it has a nice ring to it after all."

Haru washed every thought away with her old drug: British poetry. She read line after line until she was drowning in words worth remembering. Behind her glasses, her eyes moved hastily. _What sort of card was that to pull? And did you have to be so quick about it? _she asked the pages, but they refused to answer the matter she questioned them about. She shut her eyes and sighed, then adjusted her glasses and her focus. She didn't hear the door slide open. She just saw that suddenly, the light had changed. She looked up for half a second, and before she could say a word, his mouth was against hers. Haru's elbow hit the table, and she tried pushing him away, but it was no use. Tonight, Byakuya was insistent, and as she did once in a while, she finally gave in, mostly because she forgot to protest. She felt her world turn and her back hit the floor. "Byakuya-sama, wait. Not..." Now didn't seem like the right word, so she said, "Not here..."

"No one will disturb us."

"Come on... get a hold of yourself..." Haru threw her head to the side, so since he couldn't kiss her lips, he kissed the side of her neck. "Don't..." she choked out. His dark eyes wandered up to hers, and she covered her mouth with the back of her hand. "Idiot. If you leave marks, I can't cover them up." He examined her for a moment, then pushed her sleeve down her shoulder.

"Then how about here?"

"You're missing the point!" Haru gave him an offended look, and he chuckled, then rested his head against her shoulder. Something strange happened in that moment. All of the tension flowed right out of her. It left her with a sigh, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, resting one hand against the back of his head. She shut her eyes and felt him lift her up. Once they were both sitting, he entwined Haru in his arms, stroking her hair softly. She nestled against his shoulder and felt herself drifting off.

"Whose son is he?" She peered up at him and smiled.

"Guess." Byakuya slowly lowered his eyes. He said nothing, but he pressed his lips together tightly as he considered the word. "You have stayed with me through everything. You could leave me for this, and I'm not sure I could blame you."

"Why?"

"Because I intend to stand by him."

"But his father is..."

"His father was Shimori-sensei."

"I don't think you're using the word in the same sense."

"There is only one sense," Haru said firmly. "Family isn't just blood. It's the people who give their blood for you. It's the people you laugh with, and the people you cry with."

"The legality of it is—"

"Legality can go to hell," Haru retorted, pushing away and straightening her uniform. "It was just money, but even so, all those years, the Yamashita clan supported me. They may have sought to use me before, but things change." She set her glasses on her face. "I can't leave him alone, not when everyone else abandoned him, not when I was part of the reason Shimori-sensei died."

"Haru-kun—"

"I don't blame myself for it. I just can't ignore my part in things." She looked at Byakuya and gave him a bitter smile. "I'm the only family he has left. If I turn my back on him now, then I'd be no better than my mother in that sense." Haru shut her eyes for a moment. He half expected her to cry. All she did was draw a slow breath. "You can leave me, but know that even though I can't blame you, a part of me will always be bitter." Her eyes appeared, calm and focused. "I come from a family that always pays its debts. This debt will be no different." She felt Byakuya's arms around her neck.

"I will not leave you. And I will not tell you to leave him." Byakuya breathed against her ear. "Regardless of the validity of his claims, if you feel obligated to stand beside him, then so be it. Just remember that I am also entitled to protect you in my turn, and I will seize that opportunity if it presents itself." He plucked the glasses from her face, then pressed his palm against her forehead. "I will not let you die first, Haru-kun." She tilted her head slightly.

"You don't believe him."

"Of course, I am dubious."

"Then I'll tell you myself." Haru pulled free and turned to face him, sinking into a seiza and staring directly into his face. "Shimori—no... Tokazawa Hajime is my brother, and if you doubt my words, then I have nothing else to say to you." Her eyes challenged him. He stared back, transfixed by the fire in them. Then, he pressed a hand to his lips and shifted his eyes to an empty corner of the room. Though he didn't show it, Haru's words had thrown him into uncertainty. Of course, he didn't doubt her words, but at the same time, he wasn't sure he had the strength to accept or confront them. In the end, he didn't have to. By the time he had even begun to consider acting, he felt her lean against his shoulder and shut her eyes. "Sorry I didn't tell you earlier."

"It doesn't matter," he answered.

"It does matt—"

"Haru-kun." She glanced up at him. "As with all of your power, you use your power of silence wisely. The two of you obviously had some mutual understanding, spoken or otherwise, that he would be the one to reveal himself." She pressed her face against his shoulder again. Haru felt Byakuya coaxing her to draw away, but she only clung tighter.

"Do not hide from me, Haru-kun." He tried to pry her fingers away from his haori, but she continued clutching him, shaking faintly. "Look at me."

"Iie."

"Why not?"

"Because." She leapt away when she felt his fingers trailing her back, and the instant she did, she knew it was a mistake. His lips were against hers in an instant, and every thought dissolved as he kissed her.

"Aishiteru yo, Haru-kun," he said, then kissed her again. He had half reconsidered, but the hand that closed around the back of his scarf drove the last of his hesitation from his mind. "You are..." he murmured. "You are... in some ways... much stronger than I can ever hope to be." He rested against her shoulder, and Haru grew rigid for an instant. "Promise me... you won't let anything destroy that fire in your eyes." His fingers trailed down her spine, and she let out a gasp that half sounded like a sob before clinging to him.

"I promise," she said, quietly but firmly. "I promise..."

The moon stood on the cusp of newness. It gave off only a sliver of light, but that sliver was enough to illuminate Takumi's eyes as he stared up at it. One vividly blue, the other equally vivid but red... both stared at the tiny sliver that would soon disappear entirely. The look it had was the same in both. Presentation and reality overlapped perfectly. It was always true in the sky, and in the trees around him. It was when people got involved that things tended to look disjointed, out of place, unnatural. He sighed, and his breath rose as vapor on the air. Then, he readjusted his position and slung one arm over his knee, leaning forward slightly. His face became clouded with a seriousness that didn't suit him, a doleful expression touched with sadness. "That is our hope." He didn't move at the sound of the voice, nor did he look at Hajime as he pulled himself up and then stood. Their shadows fanned out faintly behind them. "Right now, it's small. Give it time, and it will grow." He looked down at Takumi, then looked away. "You have every right to be pissed off at me."

"Pissed off doesn't begin to cover it," Takumi said in a low voice. "I don't think there's a word that can convey what I'm feeling." The wind blew gently, and Takumi's left pupil narrowed to a noticeable slit. "Did you come to apologize?"

"Yeah. Trouble is, I'm not really sure what I should apologize for first." Takumi hadn't expected that sort of reaction, but Hajime only smiled and folded his arms. "Let's see... I deceived you, disappeared without a word, I tried to stop my own sister from attaining more power even though I knew it was pointless. Even if it was only for a little while, I lied about who I was. I've always hidden my own power—"

"I'm sorry." Those words cut through the night and stilled the calm voice listing off his condemnations. "I didn't realize it, but all those years, you were supporting me... maybe if I had looked a little closer, I would have realized you were the one that needed help. But I'm a selfish younger brother. I couldn't see past my own need, not back then, and not now. Instead of supporting you like I should have, I drove you away with my fists. I let you walk out without even trying to talk to you. I'll always regret that." Takumi sighed and looked out at the vast dark expanse flecked with light, then glanced up to Hajime, whose mouth was still slightly open in shock. Hajime shut it and whipped away.

"Idiot. Why are you apologizing? You didn't do anything that I wouldn't have done."

"Then you admit you would have apologized, too. If you take issue with that, then you're the idiot." Takumi received the glare with a grin and looked out at the sky again. "About the moon. About hope. About yourself. You're wrong."

"How?" Takumi smirked in his old way and tipped his head back, his hair parting and his mismatched eyes focusing on Hajime's face.

"The whole moon is always there. It's just harder to see when it's covered in darkness."

* * *

><p>Congratulations on making it through! For your trouble, have a free Japanese lesson.<p>

Kuso: Japanese swear word. Yay!

Demo: But

Nani: What

Hai: Yes

Baka aniki: Stupid brother. Said endearingly, of course. XP

Iie: No

Aishiteru yo: Another way of saying "I love you," but this one has a lot of clout. Japanese people apparently don't say it very often. XD

And there you have it. The next one is coming soon. I'm starting to slide into heavy edit territory, though, so it might be a little while. ^_^ Thanks again for waiting, and until next chapter, stay healthy and warm! (Unless you're living somewhere where it's summer. In that case, stay healthy and cool.)


	21. Chapter 21: Renewal

A/N: I am cranking chapters. Here's another one. If I keep up at this rate, then it won't be a stretch to finish this by the end of the year. A happy and sad moment in my life, if that means anything at all.

To prevent me from being long-winded, I'll just extend thanks to Almathia for her lovely (albeit brief) review. Things like that keep me going. Here comes a chapter!

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 21: Renewal<em>

"Damn it..." Renji retorted between gaping yawns. "Why the hell are we doing this again?"

"Because it's tradition," Ukitake stated, folding his arms and watching as his breath turned to steam. Renji scratched his head and yawned again, then slumped forward, muttering something about kicking tradition's ass until he realized Haru was looking at him. He straightened almost immediately, but by the time he looked to her, she had already returned her eyes to the horizon. "Every year since Soul Society and the Gotei 13 were established, all the captains and vice-captains have partaken in hatsuhinode together."

"If it came later, I wouldn't care, but seriously, it's too damn early."

"We don't just do it for fun," Kyouraku stated, glancing at the captain commander and smiling. "We do it to uphold a feeling of solidarity among the divisions."

"Solidarity can wait until I'm conscious..." He yawned again and peered at Haru, whose eyes remained locked on the sky. Beside her was her vice-captain, looking equally serious. His visible eye glinted with a rush of thoughts that Renji couldn't discern. She rested her hands on her knees and bent her head slightly. Her lips moved, and though he couldn't hear, he knew Takumi could just by the way the light in his expression changed.

"Did you work things out with Hajime?" His blue eye sharpened, and his lips split into a grin.

"Is that what you're worried about?"

"Yes." She said it without moving her head, but her eyes shifted to him. Takumi's eye gleamed slightly. "Because I'm going to need his support, too."

"What are you going to do?"

"Count my chickens," she answered, her hair swaying as a gust of wind swept past them. "And if I come up short, I don't know what I'm going to do." Takumi's smile faded, and he lowered his head.

"I swore." He murmured the words in an unusually low tone. Haru glanced to him. "I swore I'd follow you." Even though she bowed, she smiled as she did so. "Things were hard with you being the heir of the clan that drove my father to madness and death. Adding Hajime in the mix makes it more complicated, but it doesn't change anything. I'll follow you to hell's gate and beyond. That's all there is to it."

"Why?" she asked. Takumi's fingers curled on his knee, and his one eye sharpened.

"Because you're my captain." Her eyes swept out to the graying horizon, and the smile on her face changed as the wind pulled her haori back. Kyouraku pulled his hat down over his eyes to avoid the sting, but Haru never once averted hers. She stared into the wind, her focus unbroken, even though she felt tears biting at her eyes. When it subsided, she wiped her face with the back of her arm.

_Today is the day that will break me. _She pressed her hands over her eyes until the spots appeared, then dropped them and peered out at the horizon again and stared at the first cusp of yellow that had broken the darkness and half heard the collective breath they took. _Why... _Her eyes widened slightly as she pulled herself to her feet, swaying slightly and reaching out for it, her broken cross winking as her fingers stretched. _Why is it that even now, I feel the need to keep reaching for the sun I surpassed long ago? _She drew her hands back and stared at her fingertips to see if they had caught any of the sun's light, but they remained as shadowed as her face. Something stirred in her while she watched the skyline fill with color. Everything froze. Her breath, her stance, her half-raised palms, her thoughts, her slightly parted lips. Only the wind was aware of her single remaining notion. _The only wish I have is for everyone here not to give up, even if darkness destroys every pillar in Soul Society, so those of us who live can see this again. _And for some reason—perhaps related to the hyougoku or her own tenacity—she felt a surge of something familiar in her chest, the frail hope in her soul flickering back to life.

"This may be the last time we do this," Genryuusai said. No one answered, not until Takumi laughed and rose to his feet.

"Whether it's the last time or not, it is what it is. Isn't that right, taichou?" She whirled to them with a slight smile on her face, her eyes collecting more of the light than they should have.

"That's right." The wind stirred around her again, and she stretched slightly. "Well, I should be off."

"Off?" Soi Fon echoed. "Where are you going?"

"I have business to take care of."

"Today?" Saijin asked.

"It can't wait."

"You imbecile. You know the senkaimon don't work on New Year's Day unless there's an S-class emergency," Mayuri retorted.

"Actually, I wasn't aware of it. When were you going to mention it, Toushiro-san?"

"I thought it best to wait, but considering that serious mood you were in yesterday, I wasn't sure how to best explain it."

"It's fine. I don't need an apology," she answered, straightening again. "But I do need to get going."

"Fool!" Takumi's pupil narrowed, but before he could take a step, Haru's arm stretched out before him, the cross giving a hollow jingle as it swayed with the speed of her motion. She looked into his eye and shook her head firmly. "You know it's useless, yet you're going to try anyway? What part of 'don't work' didn't you understand? You must be denser than it thought. Give up and wait."

"No." The single defiant word cut through the thick air, its calm tone revealing its own dangerous nature.

"Oi, Haru—" Hitsugaya said. "Wait just a minute. Think rationally. He's not kidding. Just wait until—"

"The only thing that can wait until tomorrow is cracking his damn skull open." Her shoulders relaxed, and she turned to Hitsugaya with a slight smile playing on her lips. "But my business... it has to be today."

"There is no way out!"

"Toushiro-san..." She sighed and turned back to the sky again. "Make sure the board is set up. We'll be playing a hard game tomorrow. Takumi..."

"Hai?"

"Let's go." He finally took his eyes off of Mayuri and fell into step behind her.

"Fools! What can you accomplish without a gate?"

"Whoever said anything about a gate?" Haru called without turning around. "For a genius, you have a terrible short term memory. Or maybe you're choosing not to acknowledge the fact that I have a friend who can make a different kind of door." The silent note of discord that ensued... Haru silently admitted that she loved it almost as much as the rain. Before anyone could question her, she and Takumi disappeared. The other captains could see them slowly walking away on the street below. Haru paused for a moment and glanced back at them, then turned away.

"That's Haru-chan for you," he said with a slight laugh, tilting his hat. Aside from Kyouraku, no one else uttered a word. Even if they were frustrated, or thrown, or distrusting, the sanctity of hatsuhinode demanded silence. Somehow, even though they were three captains fewer than the previous year, no one felt the sanctity of their tradition was broken or cracked. Instead, everyone acknowledged, in their own kind of silence, that such connections were dangerous, and that if they could yield some good, then what right did they have to argue?

"Taichou." Haru didn't speak. She simply stared forward, her posture never wavering or betraying any sign of understanding what he said. Her breathing remained steady. "Taichou," Takumi said again. Haru paused, and Takumi stumbled into her before leaping back and raising his hands in apology. She didn't have much of a reaction to it. She simply stood as she had before, eyes locked with the yellow disk climbing the blue dome around them. "Seriously, taichou... I know it's not any of my business, but if you're not careful, they'll wind up hating you."

"So?" She said the word flatly.

"So, it's hard to fight alongside people who hate you." Haru turned one indifferent eye to him.

"To be honest, I'm just trying to undeceive them. I'm tired of secrets." Her fist closed, and he flinched as her reiatsu flickered to life around her. "If I don't fight with everything I am in this last battle, then it's not worth it." He sighed heavily and lowered his head. "You can't see the outcome."

"Of course not."

"Do you think Hajime could?"

"I don't know," he answered in a desolate tone. He flinched again, but this time, it was when she clutched his sleeve. Her fingers slid against the badge on his right arm, and as she exhaled, her breath clouded his vision momentarily. The wind stirred slightly around them, and Haru laughed as if sensing Takumi's uneasiness.

"Take care of this division."

"What?"

"When I leave, or die, or disappear... if any of those things happen—or when they happen—I want you to be the one who leads it."

"Taichou..."

"It's not just my division. Without you, I wouldn't have had the courage to climb as high as I have. It doesn't belong to just me, or just you. It belongs to everyone in the fifth. And if I create a gap in the power structure, I want you to step in."

"But taichou..."

"You have bankai, and plenty of strength of your own. But more than that, you come from a family who once valued bonds more than power." Haru sighed again and lifted her eyes. "If my pride weren't so wound up in protecting this world, then perhaps I couldn't say the same of myself, but as things stand, I think that if it came to choosing between my power and the lives of those around me, I'd do the selfish thing and choose myself..." Her eyes darted away. "Because now that I've touched that power, I can't stand the thought of it not being whole." She backed away, and Takumi stood rooted to the spot, watching as she turned. "You don't have to go with me." Haru paced forward and threw herself into thought, hearing nothing but the continual ripple of notions in her own mind until she found the one she was looking for and glanced up at him.

"You're late," Grimmjow retorted, glaring at her and folding his arms.

"Sorry. Not everyone was willing to let me go."

"Excuses, excuses..."

"Look, are you going to open a gate for me or not?"

"For you, yeah." Grimmjow's eyes shifted. "But for that punk..." Haru glanced over her shoulder and found Takumi standing a short distance away, looking more determined than ever. Her lips parted in surprise, and she took a hasty step towards him.

"I said I'd follow you," he interrupted, yanking his eye patch off and tossing it to the ground. Slowly, his closed left eye split to reveal the shocking red color lingering beneath the lid. "I meant what I said. As for you..." The pupil narrowed, and the air stirred anxiously around them. "If you have any objections showing me through, then say them to my sword tomorrow. Even if someone insults my captain, I won't draw it today." It wasn't the first time Grimmjow had experienced uneasiness facing Takumi, but it was the first time he had genuinely been afraid. His own pupils narrowed, his lips split into a wide grin, and he threw his head back with a laugh.

"Interesting! I think I'd like to take you up on that. Putting you in your place is going to be a hell of a lot of fun." He glanced at Haru to gauge her reaction to find her smiling. "Oi, chibi... you'd better tell that kid to write his will today."

"I'm afraid you're the one who should be writing yours. Takumi has enough authority to choose his own captain. Besides, only a fool would willingly challenge a god." For the second time that day, she left the end of her sentence dangling unsettlingly in the still air. Without speaking again, she paced forward, her arms swaying slightly at her sides. "So, are you going to open a gate, or do I have to do it myself?"

Haru wasn't the only one inconvenienced that morning. Just as Ichigo was starting to wake up, he heard a faint knock at the door. He thought it was nothing and laid back down, but if he had gotten up, he would have seen his father open the door, look straight ahead, and scratch his head as he observed the empty frame. "Over here." Isshin glanced to the left to find Haru standing there in a gigai, wearing her usual long coat, collared shirt, khaki pants, and boots. Her arms were folded, and her vibrant eyes were framed by glasses. "Sorry. I wasn't sure who would open the door, so I thought it best to keep out of sight." She waited for him to ask who she was, but he never uttered a word. He simply stepped out and put a cigarette between his lips, taking a long draw off of it. "Would you mind telling me why you left?" He coughed and whipped to her. "Not many people know the truth. Maybe sensei does, but he never told me, and I wouldn't ask him to. My vice-captain has ways of finding out, but I'd rather hear it from you. Your family..." Her face broke into a smile. "They don't know anything, do they?" She gave him a hard look and turned to face him. "Why?"

"Who wants to know?" he said finally. Haru smiled.

"I thought you knew who I was."

"I know you're related to Misuzu. I'd recognize those eyes anywhere." He stared at her for another moment and practically dropped the cigarette he was holding. "Wait a second... aren't you that girl that died in March last year? Some kind of car accident, wasn't it?"

"The circumstances surrounding my death are still very questionable," Haru answered calmly. "The man responsible, and his entire family, disappeared. I can only assume they never existed in the first place." Her eyes were lit by soft flames. "But it doesn't matter much now." Her boots fell softly against the snow as she crept the length of his sidewalk with her arms folded. When she reached the edge, she paused and tilted her head upward. "My name is Yamashita Haru. I'm Misuzu's second child, and the heir to a famous quincy family. Perhaps you've heard of my father, Yamashita Tatsuhiro?"

"Once or twice when I was closer with Ryuuken."

_Idiot. If I know that porcupine, you were never really close to him. _The thought shot out of her head as she heard Yuzu's voice calling for him, but he simply leaned against the door.

"It's nothing serious! Just an NHK collector!"

_NHK collector? _Haru sighed and shook her head, knowing even they typically took New Year 's Day off. Still, the excuse worked because no one came to bother them. Her eyes settled on him again, a pale silver light shifting in them.

"But if you're her second child—"

"That is aniki's story to tell," she answered. "Besides, I'm not here to talk about my convoluted family history. I'm here to talk to your son." Isshin pressed his lips together, remembering well that the few times he had met Misuzu in the human world, she often made a similar face. "I know it's New Year's, but this can't wait. The truth is..." Her voice trailed off, and she dropped her head. "The truth is, there's something he promised me he would do, not as a vizard or a shinigami substitute, but from one friend to another." He stared at her as her eyes flew to his again and practically burned them with his power. "You must hate me for asking him to do this."

"It's fine," Isshin answered, lighting another cigarette and tipping his head back. "Your mother made me promise the same thing once." Haru's eyes cut to him. "'If anything ever happens and you can do something about it... when I raise my sword, promise me you'll raise yours.' Of course, I didn't have my powers back then. One thing I don't understand, though, is what makes Ichigo indebted to you?"

"Easy enough. To keep Soul Society from exterminating him, I ascended to a rank that would allow me to control his fate." She straightened and turned to him again, locking her arms behind her back.

"I didn't know Soul Society was aware of his hollow powers." Haru tapped the tip of her boot on the ground and drew a slow breath.

"My hands stopped your son from becoming a murderer, nearly at the expense of becoming one myself. My vow kept Yamamoto-soutaichou from disposing of him. My words prevented Kuchiki Byakuya from pursuing legal action. I did it to give him the normal life I couldn't have, because much like him, I'm an illegitimate crossbreed.." Haru smiled and raised her eyes to the sky overhead. "Your son has a knack of being open with his emotions. He has no one to hide from. As much as I envy him, I want to make sure he never does."

"Why would you want to do that?"

"Because." Haru's arms shot reflexively towards, the sun, and though her fingers closed on nothing, she drew them down as if resisting a great weight. "He is part of the world I wish to protect." She said the words with a sad smile, then glanced to the ex-captain again to find him practically in tears. _Oh, gods, here it comes... the Kurosaki theatrics... _

"Haru-sama!" She let out a sharp, wordless objection as he threw his arms around her. "What a sad childhood you must have led! How can you keep moving forward in such a cruel world without any support?"

"I have plenty of support! Now let go of me!"

"Poor little Haru-sama, alone in Soul Society!"

"It's fine!" She didn't feel like explaining her precise position, so she struggled against him, then slammed her foot down on top of his.

"That seriously hurts!"

"Of course it hurts! I meant it to! Now, let go!" She threw her weight backwards again, then delivered an uppercut that threw him into the snow. Haru pressed a hand over her racing heart._ It's the same. The same nagging feeling that I got when I first woke up. The same thing I felt on the rooftop this morning. _She clutched her chest and slowly sank to her knees. _What does it mean? _Without a word, she threw her gaze to Isshin, who hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary. Instead, he was holding his jaw and muttering something about her "definitely being Misuzu's." He finally stood up and dusted himself off, then gave her a long look that made her question his level of observation. "If something's bugging you, you'd better see Urahara-san."

"I plan to," she answered. "I've got other people I need to see first." Her hand remained at her chest, and she drew a slow breath even though it felt tight. "It's probably just stress. I'm under a lot of pressure to perform well." Haru balled up her fist again as he slung an arm around her shoulders and grinned, giving her a thumbs up.

"So, you are worthy of the title of captain after all. Good to hear they're still choosing people who can do the job right." He laughed, and she thought about hitting him again, but the sound of the door sliding open behind her only made her slip out of his grasp and straighten her clothes.

"Haru...-dono?" She turned slightly and gave Rukia a long look that demanded to know how she lived there. Then, with a sigh, she scurried onto the threshold and removed her boots.

"I'm coming in."

"But Haru-dono..."

"It's fine," she answered. She slipped her boots off and dusted some of the snow off of her legs, then put her hand up to her mouth. "Ichigo-san! Are you awake?" Upstairs, she thought she heard some clumsy movement, and a moment later, he tumbled down the stairs, landing almost in front of her feet. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, then stared up at the figure before him.

"Eh? Haru? Why the hell—" She grabbed the front of his shirt despite his protestations, cutting him off with a single sentence.

"We need to talk."

Although he continued to protest, Rukia did nothing to interrupt. His sisters tried to question him, but they couldn't get a single word in edgewise before Haru and Ichigo disappeared upstairs and behind his door. Haru finally released him, her fingers flexing thoughtfully, and motioned for him to sit down. After he did, she folded her arms and sighed. "Do you know why I'm here?"

"Yeah." Haru sighed and lowered her head.

"If you back out, I won't blame you."

"No way in hell. A deal's a deal. You saved me." Haru smiled.

"Your inner hollow?"

"It's fine," he answered. He straightened as he noticed the look in Haru's eye. "I won't let him do anything like that again, alright?" He could tell she was months away, in the past, thinking of their last fight. "I'm serious!"

"Ichigo-san," she said quietly, pressing a finger to her lips and giving a meaningful look to the door. "They'll hear you."

"Right. Sorry," he answered quietly. "But seriously, you don't have to worry about that. You've got enough on your mind."

"Iie. I was just thinking, I would like to fight you again."

"You can't be serious."

"You may have the mask, but I have the lone flame. In the end, if they were pitted against each other, which of us would walk away?" Haru's smile wavered, and the intensity in her eyes doubled. "Kurosaki Ichigo," she said. "When this is over... if the world on the other side of war is one where we still have the breath to call each other friends..."

"Don't talk like that," he said sharply. Haru glanced at him curiously. "If you sound vulnerable, it makes me uneasy." She shifted her stance and paced almost soundlessly across the floor. He glanced up at her as her hand clasped down on his shoulder. He felt it tremble slightly and tried to read her inscrutable expression, but all meaning escaped him except the faint flaming rain that flickered across their surface as they bore into him.

"I may be prideful, Ichigo, but I'm no fool. There is a possibility that one or both of us won't make it back." Her voice had dropped to a whisper, and even though his own gaze burned, he held back because of the meaningful glance Haru gave the door. "You know that already. You're just afraid to admit it."

"Aren't you afraid?" Haru smiled and shook her head slowly.

"More than my own death, I fear watching my friends die, or leaving them alone with their grief. I don't want anyone crying over my grave if I don't make it through this." Ichigo's fist tightened, and he lowered his head and drew one hissing breath. "Before you take on anything else, I want you to conquer that fear of yours. Can you try doing that for me, Ichigo?" He breathed a sigh and glanced up to her, seeing that her eyes were as resolute as ever. Suddenly, she shifted and knelt down, bowing her head and smiling. "Arigatou." She said the word softly and sat beside him. "I don't know why, but for some reason... having you say you'll fight really puts my mind at ease." When she looked up at him, it was with that same determination she had had before. "If it's in my power, Kurosaki Ichigo, then I promise I will protect you, if not because of our commonalities, then because of your family." She lowered her head again and said in a raw, focused tone, "I promise." She glanced up when Ichigo touched her shoulder and found that his smile, calm but still tainted slightly with fear, was contagious. "So... don't worry about anything. I'll make sure you survive to live the life I could have lived."

"Haru?" She stood and turned towards the door and paused. "Do you regret it? Your life, I mean."

"I don't think so. Even if Aizen planned it from the start, even if he fabricated the people who caused it... I would never have become what I am today without that." Haru jolted as the door opened and the three people listening toppled onto the floor in front of her.

"You should all be horribly ashamed of listening in on their conversation," Rukia retorted, folding her arms.

"I'm just trying to protect Haru-chan's innocence," Isshin retorted, earning a kick to the back of the head.

"What are you even saying? She's engaged to my brother! She doesn't need protected! She wouldn't two-time him!" Rukia paused and looked at Haru. "Would you?"

"You seriously have to ask me that? Why would I do anything with Ichigo? Isn't he your boyfriend?"

"Absolutely not! What kind of accusation is that, anyway? You have no proof! And a noble in your position shouldn't be saying things like that! Seriously, do you have any tact?" Haru shrugged and smiled, saying something without even saying it. She slipped her hands inside her coat pockets and continued forward, her head bent slightly in thought.

"Oi, Haru." She half turned back. "Be careful." She raised a hand in farewell, the cross on her wrist jingling lightly, as if it too felt the pull of other visitations.

"How long are you going to brood?" Soi Fon's eyes jerked up, and she found a cloaked figure in the tree. He dropped out of it and pulled back his hood.

"You." Hajime stood up and shook his head, then ran a slow hand through his hair and sighed. "You're the last one I want to see this morning. If you have business with me, then it can wait until—"

"It can't wait." As he said it, she realized he was looking at her with both eyes, and something uneasy worked through her as she caught fragments of something bizarre and long buried working through them. "I want what you promised me." Soi Fon thought for a moment, then cast him a serious look. He was staring at her. That odd hue in his right eye flared again, and she swallowed as something unsettling sank into her. She knew she could kill him with two blows. The trouble was, he seemed too know that, too, and he seemed to be equally confident that she wouldn't do it. As much as she wanted to thrust her foot against the side of his face, she hesitated, not because she felt any mercy towards him, but because she remembered pursuing him with the conviction that she was chasing someone else.

She had seen his smile on another face before.

Hajime's eyes cut away as if he saw the realization. He set his hands on his knees and stared out at the naked branches, the white expanse... Hajime breathed a slow sigh and drew his cloak tighter around him. "I want to fight. I have plenty of reasons to—"

"I don't _care _about the reasons. I'm not your captain. And to be honest, I don't know why you should be given special treatment." He heard the unsettled note in her voice and glanced at her.

"I took her name for a reason."

"What name?"

"Tokazawa." His eyes waxed to darkness, and he glanced at her again. "Because of all the beatings I've endured, all the diseases I've survived, all the hardships I've struggled through, my name is the closest I've been to a death blow." Hajime bent his head and gritted his teeth. "Please." That was all he said before raising his eyes again. "This might be my only chance to prove that I'm more than the name I was condemned to carry." Soi Fon gave him a hard look and started to formulate a rejection, but he cut her off. "Please," he said again.

That desperation... she had experienced it when Yoruichi was sitting where she was now. It annoyed her.

Hajime moved without thought and caught the fist that otherwise would have crushed his jaw. He felt his feet slide and gritted his teeth, but he reacted so fluidly, aiming a counterattack with his knee. She shoved him back and threw his balance. He pressed his hands against the wood and nearly thrust a foot against her jaw. When she blocked the blow with her arms, he used the leverage to move around the kick that would have sent him flying into a wall and landed in a crouch, his hand at his side in an instant, clinging to his sword as his eyes shot daggers at her. She thrust a foot upward and cast three knives at her. The first two, he shifted around. The third, he caught between his fingers and let slide to the ground. A slow smile spread across her face. She lifted her hand and fired a kidou, but he responded instantly with one of equal strength. As the embers fell to the floor and flickered out. "How the hell did someone like you wind up in the fourth?" The knife sailed past her face and nicked her before she could react, and Hajime let his hand fall.

"It's because when I came here, I buried the part of myself that I hated the most." The combination of his smile and his eyes was enough to shake her to the core. "Six days... that was all it took to dig everything up. After Shimori-san brought me back here, Rukongai just seemed like some distant hell. I lost all connection to it. But I can't be that person anymore. Maybe it was wrong of me to erase the past and start over, but right now, I..." He stopped in the middle of his sentence and turned his head, then gave the snow and trees one more look before he was thrown against the wall by a blow with crushing force.

"You really want to prove yourself?" Hajime sat up slowly and touched the bruise on his jaw. "Fine. But do it tomorrow." His eyes followed her as she paced away. He would have smiled, but there was something clouding his thoughts, something that monopolized his immediate attention.

He pulled his hood up and stood. Today was looking less and less like a good day.

"Took ya long enough," Grimmjow retorted as Haru stepped into sight. Takumi was standing next to him, in a gigai like his captain, and with a contact in his left eye that obscured its mismatched color. "What were you doing in there, anyway?"

"Confirming something." She stepped towards her next destination without even stopping, and after exchanging a look with Takumi, Grimmjow followed them. "You stayed out of trouble while I was gone, right?"

"What? Yeah, yeah... I did."

"Didn't pick any fights or destroy any public property?"

"Why the hell would I do that?"

"Just checking."

"You don't have to leave your lousy vice-captain to babysit me! I know better!"

"Actually, I left him with you so if anyone attacked you, he could tell me where you'd run off to."

"Like hell I would run from a fight!"

"See? That's exactly why I left him with you. You're strong, but you're missing the key to fighting rationally, namely the ability to be rational."

"Are you calling me an idiot?"

"If you have to ask, doesn't that make you one?" Takumi answered.

"On the contrary." Haru turned to Grimmjow and smiled because she could see him seething. "Grimmjow-san has his own brand of intelligence. That doesn't make him stupid. Just hot-headed, like a certain vice-captain I know."

"I have no idea who you're talking about." She gave him a sharp look, and he grinned. "Don't worry. We worked all that out. We're fine now. Besides, I didn't punch him for that. I punched him because he was in your way."

"Even so—"

"Oi! I'm still here!" Grimmjow shouted. "You wanna have private shinigami conversations or whatever, you do it when I'm not around!" Takumi and Haru exchanged smiles, but Haru stopped walking suddenly, resting her hand on her chest and letting her smile drift away. "Oi, chibi... you alright?"

"Fine." She murmured the word, then glanced up as a heavy hand fell on her head.

"Then quit looking so secluded like that." Takumi's smile had faded, too. The concern was clearly etched in his face, and even though he didn't say anything, Haru knew that long after his hand fell away and he refocused his vision, he was uneasy about her, and about where they were going. Before she knew it, their steps came to a dead halt in front of the abandoned warehouse. She stared at it for a moment, then continued forward. Takumi followed her, glancing at Grimmjow for a moment. The ex-espada was staring in one direction, his pupil narrow. Takumi's own contracted, and he pressed his hand against it.

"Takumi, Grimmjow-san, let's go," Haru called. Takumi followed complacently and stopped when he heard a show.

"What?" Grimmjow demanded, his eyes cutting to her. "Why me?"

"Come on," she said again, her eyes completely calm. He half opened his mouth to demand what she meant by inviting him in like that, but she cut him off with the words, "There are some people I want you to see." As always, he couldn't refuse to follow her. They descended, down a set of stairs that opened to a false sky. Grimmjow remained behind her, uneasy but not as uneasy as he had been. Haru was watching him again. He straightened, then glanced away, and she fixed her eyes on her own path. What had caused that feeling in him, she wondered, but the question scurried away from her conscious mind when she glanced up to find that they were being examined by the vizard, all eight of them. She casually raised a hand and smiled, tilting it slightly as she said, "Happy new year."

"Why the hell is there a—"

"That's just Grimmjow-san."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean, chibi?" he demanded. Grimmjow took a breath to start again, but her eyes bit into him.

"Shut your damn mouth. I'm here to do business. If you want to chew me out for my choice in friends, do it later." The rest of his protest came out as a disgruntled sigh.

"That's just taichou for you," Takumi said with a shrug and a grin. "She's a natural leader. He chose her. In that sense, he's not so different from me." Something flitted across his eyes. "Please put up with his presence. There's something in the air that I don't like, and he won't be here long."

"I'll gut him!" Hiyori shouted.

"You will not touch him," Haru said with her usual quiet authority. The discomfort rippled across the air, and she lifted her eyes. "Shinji-san, a moment."

"Eh?"

"It's been a while since we've talked. I have something serious to ask you." The tint of surprise remained in his otherwise colorless expression, but he finally shrugged.

"Guess I've got no choice since it's Haru-sama." She stepped forward, leaving her vice-captain with both of his eyes fixed on the other vizard. She slipped her hands in her pockets, and they paced away, but she paused and turned back.

"One more thing. If I come back to bloodshed or drawn swords, I will be cracking all of your skulls open." She whipped away, the tail of her coat licking the air, and fell into step with Shinji.

"You okay? You seem stressed."

"That doesn't even begin to cover it," she answered.

"Seriously, what's with that hollow?"

"He's following me. I'm not sure if that means he's on my side. More like, he's on his own side. Anyway, if he doesn't draw a blade on anyone I'm protecting, then it doesn't bother me. Besides..." For a moment between steps, she was standing under the moon, her blade in his hand, facing him. "Besides, he taught me something invaluable."

"Yer walking's different than back then." Haru glanced up at him. "Maybe it's 'cause ya aren't recovering from being more than half dead. More like, ya reached a new level of understandin' inside yerself."

"Who knows?" Haru answered, taking three swift steps ahead, then turning on her heel towards him. "Maybe it's not my understanding that's changed." Her lips curled into a smile as she fixed her gaze on the false sky hanging above. Her arms hung at her sides, but her fingers twitched once, then slowly rose to embrace the feeling of the light. It wasn't the true sun, but it still stirred something irrepressible inside of her, regardless of what had changed. She caressed the edges of the orb, or what edges fell within her reach, and her smile faded. "I'm sorry to bring up such serious matters today, but there's something I need to know." Haru looked up at him. "I need to know... where you're going to be in ten days." Shinji arched a brow. "Are you going to be here, waiting for the storm to blow over? Or... are we going to be standing under the same sun?" Despite the fact that they were underground, Shinji thought he felt the air shifting. Haru turned her head slightly, then fixed her eyes on the vizard as the real meaning of her question sank in. "I'm not asking you to fight for Soul Society. After condemning you to execution, I couldn't. I'm not asking you to fight for me, being a captain in the society that rejected you. I'm asking you to fight against Aizen for the selves you lost that day. I'm asking you to defeat him with the selves he forced you to become." Her fists closed as Shinji's expression wavered slightly. "Which is it?" she asked in a low voice. "Which sun... will you be standing under?"

Takumi stood with his back to Grimmjow and his eyes locked on the vizard. He blinked often enough, but the focus in his face was still uncanny. Mashiro was curious and wanted to go closer, but Kensei stopped her. "Neh, Kensei..."

"What is it?"

"Don't you think that hollow looks a little on edge?" Lisa asked.

"To be honest, I think they both are," Hachi interjected. "Something's up."

"I don't trust him," Hiyori said, folding her arms. Takumi's eyes locked on her, and he passed her a smile. "Oi! Why the hell are you smiling? You want to come over here and do that? I'll kick your ass!" His face never changed, but his eyes sank partway shut. The way he tilted his head, she could see the red beneath his contact.

"Grimmjow," he said lowly. The espada cast him a brief look, then fixed his eyes on the same distant point. He was staring the same way he had been aboveground, looking in the exact direction at some unfathomable thing. "You can feel it, too."

"Feel it?" he scoffed.

"Yeah." Although they were underground, the air around them stirred as Takumi tilted his palms upward and stared at them. "There aren't many things that can cause me to feel like this." Grimmjow swallowed as Takumi's face curled into a smile. "So... of the few things that can, which is it?" Takumi had expected him to grin, but his eye had already shown him that Grimmjow's expression wouldn't change, that he would just turn his head back to the distance and swallow once while his pulse began to race a little faster. "We are more alike than you think," Takumi said quietly.

"You saying you took on the power of a hollow?"

"No, but there's something in me... that's much like the thing in you." Takumi's hand curled around his chest, and the air fell still. "But at the same time... it's like what's in taichou."

"What are you even saying?"

"I'm saying that akumashoku is not a demon. Rather, he is something that was eclipsed by a demon." He smirked. "So whatever that thing is that's making you on edge... forget about it. If I have to, I'll call him by name to protect the world that my captain holds so dear." Grimmjow's eyes widened slightly as he saw something slide across those eyes. It was something entirely unfamiliar. No... he had seen it once before, cast against a sky of violet rather than a sky of blue: a speck of light, some star burning deep within him, that flickered and dimmed before he could get a good look at it because suddenly, a name rang out.

"Takumi." Haru paced past the remaining espada without looking at them. "Grimmjow-san. We're leaving."

"Huh? But you were only gone ten minutes! Oi... chibi!" She cut past him without a glance, her hands swaying at her sides, her shoulders squared. Takumi touched Grimmjow's shoulder and jerked his head. Then, reluctantly, the espada followed. She only stopped long enough to raise a hand in farewell as a handful of incoherent words poured after her. She neither turned around nor averted her gaze. "Slow down, will you? You were so eager to come here—"

"Whatever it was, it's finished now," she said without stopping. Grimmjow and Takumi exchanged glances. "There's one more place I need to go before seeing Urahara-sensei. We can take the train if you want, but it'll be much faster if we use garganta to get there."

"What do you think I am? Your personal chauffer? Open your own damn door!" Haru stopped for a moment, and Takumi watched a thought drift through her mind.

"You don't think she can do it."

"Of course she can't! She's not a—"

"You're wrong," Haru stated quietly. "I can do it. I just don't want anyone knowing." She fell silent and closed her fists. "Because there are already so many reasons people question me, and right now, they need to trust me."

"You mean you can—" Haru's hair wavered slightly as she raised her head.

"Let's go." She paced up the stairs with her hands in her pockets, followed by her vice-captain, the sexta espada, and a cloud of thoughts so thick, they could cut it.

"Ah, Haru-chan..." Haru crept in. She had left Takumi and Grimmjow in the dining room with a pot of tea and a lot to think about. She shut the door without saying a word and looked at her grandfather, situated in an armchair with a book. "What brings you here?" He nearly dropped it when he saw the serious look on her face. "Haru-chan?"

"This is it." His hand steadied, and the faint smile on his face faded. "This is the last time we'll see each other. So... if it wouldn't be too much trouble, I'd like a cup of tea." He smiled slightly and bowed his head. "Ojii-sama..." He held up his hand to silence her, and she folded hers around each other.

"Why not let last time be the last time?"

"Because..." Her voice trailed off, and she shifted her eyes. "Because it wouldn't be much of an ending would it?"

"Today is supposed to be about new beginnings."

"I know." Haru's eyes glinted, and she let her eyes fall to the spines of the books, counting them silently. "But the price I have to pay for fighting in this war... it's greater than death itself. So, since I'm not coming back, I want to make something clear." Haru sat down across from him and glanced towards him. "The legacy of this family after I die. After you die." Haru heard the door slide open and the pair of feet falter.

"Sakura tea," he said without looking up. "And sake."

"Sake? But Masahiro-dono—"

"This is a funeral. I'm drinking to the dead." He folded his hands and cast his eyes across the table. "I've spent much of my life hating. Hating brevity. Hating shinigami. Hating myself. But today, I lay what's left of that to rest. So, Saki, if you will, bring sakura tea, and a bottle of sake."

"Y... yes, sir." She bowed and shut the door behind her. They observed each other in silence. Even then, Haru knew she was showing it on her face. The chess game she was playing in her own head, silently.

"Those eyes..." He mumbled the words and covered his mouth with his hand. Haru glanced at him, and the flame in them wavered. "You say you have a price worse than death to pay. I can't imagine anything worse for you."

"I can't explain it."

"Haru-chan, promise me that if some part of you still exists after this war, you will perform my soul burial." Her eyes jerked up. "If, after all of this, you still consider yourself a shinigami, then—" Haru hunched over and laughed, then looked up at him again.

"Ojii-sama, you're too obstinate to die. You have a decade left at least."

"You never know what can happen," he said, smiling. The door slid open, and Saki set the cups down one by one, then moved to pour them both tea, but the old man grabbed the kettle first and tipped some into Haru's cup before filling his own. "I'm honored that you thought to come and see me today, Haru-chan, but the matter you've come to discuss with me is far too serious."

"I'm sorry, but I'm out of time." She sipped her tea and gazed across the steam at her. "I'm here to discuss the future of this family. With you too, Saki-san." She had folded the tray under her arm and had prepared to leave, but hearing her name thus called, she sat down again and sighed uneasily.

"Haru-dono, with all due respect—"

"I will not be coming back again." She said it with conviction. "This is the last time."

"It's impossible for you to know such a thing!"

"I know it."

"But how?" she demanded.

"Instinct." Haru drank her tea and turned the cup slightly.

"But—"

"Saki-san..." She smiled and stared into her cousin's face, saw all the pain and the anguish there, and lowered her head. "I want you and Ishi-nii... if Ishi-nii survives... to train Hiroto-kun."

"What?"

"As a quincy." She smiled faintly. "The twentieth heir should be skilled in the matters of the quincy, shouldn't he?"

"What?" Haru didn't even flinch as the shout hit her. She simply tipped her cup again. "But Haru-dono... he's just a child! Surely—"

"This family needs someone who sees the world with a child's eyes, who has the strength of a child's faith, and who possesses a child's wonder. Who better to do that than a child?" Haru's eyes glinted. "You will be his advisor, Saki-san. If anything should happen to him, then you will be proxy until the new heir is selected. If one cannot be chosen unanimously, then you will be the head of this family."

"But Haru-dono..." She set an envelope on the table in front of Masahiro and sighed.

"I took the trouble of writing all of this down. All it needs is your stamp, and the stamp of a witness." Haru folded her hands. "You don't need to do it now, since your health is perfectly fine, but if you care anything about this family, then do it before you start to slip, or before something unexpected can happen to you." He examined her kanji row after row, then set the document on the table.

"You've even written your illegitimate half-brother into this."

"He is family, too. He has no obligations to the Yamashita clan, but if he chooses to, I want him to be able to become a part of it. I did this because I have an obligation to him, not because anyone else here does." She smiled and bent her head. "I want him to have a place to go if he needs it. Please don't argue this point, ojii-sama."

"Far from arguing it, I back your decision to support him." He smiled and leaned against his hand, studying her handwriting again. "I will allow this on one condition."

"And that is?"

"If you ever come back to this house, you will tear this up and assume the family responsibilities yourself, at least until the next heir is ready to take his or her place." Haru bent her head slightly and glanced at the remaining tea in her cup, sipping it thoughtfully.

"Very well. If you think that is best for this family, then I accept your condition." Masahiro removed a small case from his pocket and pressed his inkan to the space allotted for it. He passed it to Saki, and she reluctantly did the same. Then, he sealed the envelope. They swallowed their sake in one gulp, and Haru set her cup down before standing up.

"Your purpose was only business, then."

"Yes," she answered. "Unfortunately, I have to be back in Soul Society before sundown for a new year's party." She paused in her steps. "I will say, though, that while I don't regret the time I spent away from this family, I don't regret the time I've spent with it, either." She gave them a smile that expressed gratitude while counting losses. "Thanks for the tea, ojii-sama. Saki-san, make sure Hiroto-kun continues to be a kind and interesting person. I regret that I'm unable to tell him farewell myself. Though I guess it doesn't matter in the end..." Haru's smile faded slightly as she turned towards the door.

"Haru-dono," Saki said. She stopped as she set her hand on the door knob, her reflection disappearing beneath her hand. "Let me fight."

"Saki-san..."

"I can do it. I'm sure I can be of some use to you."

"Saki," Masahiro said firmly. "She has another role for you to play. You have the quincy powers I engineered for you, so—"

"I can fight!" She bowed her head and nearly pressed her head to the floor, her boyishly short hair hiding her eyes. "I know I can't do anything against this Aizen guy—"

"Then live."

"Haru-dono!"

"Live, because this fight does not belong to what remains of the quincies." She pushed the door open, then tilted her head as a seele embedded itself in the wood.

"Don't belittle my power!"

"I'm not belittling anything!" she shouted without turning around. The fingers holding the door quivered. She released the breath she had been holding, then straightened. "You'll do more good by staying here than you ever could on the battlefield. You may think you're ready to face your own death and the deaths of everyone around you, but you aren't. You can never be ready."

"Regardless of that, I—"

"Saki-san..." Her voice waned to gentle, and although she didn't turn around, they caught the faint sound of a smile in her voice. "Live. If not for my sake, then for the family's, for Hiroto-kun's, for ojii-sama's... live for your own dreams. Do not follow me to darkness and ruin." The door had only moved an inch when she heard something slam against the table. A fist, no doubt Saki's. She wondered whether or not it bled, but she didn't turn around to look. Instead, her determination wavered slightly as the air changed.

"We burn with the same flame. We carry the same power. That's why... it's only fair we face the same end. No one should face that kind of thing alone, least of all some punk kid." Haru pressed her forehead against the wood and breathed. The smell of paper and wood and western things filled her lungs. When she exhaled, she half tasted smoke and ash, but there was something else mingled with it, a kind of acrid aftertaste that only sugared tea could bring her. She pushed the door open and slipped through it, her resolutions suddenly altered. "Haru-dono!"

"Don't follow me." Saki stopped in the doorway, unable to move another step. It wasn't that her words or manner held an unusual amount of authority. Rather, some circumstance beyond her grasp had changed to make her will seem that much stronger. She faltered and clenched the doorframe, then lowered her head, her secret exposed, her knuckle bleeding, her unacknowledged loyalty hanging in the distance between them.

_That uneasy feeling... _Haru cut through the woods, shoving herself uphill when her legs screamed at her for being so hasty. _That uneasy feeling... it was coming from here all along. _She gritted her teeth and continued, half crawling up the steep slope. Her eyes half glowed as she stumbled, caught herself, and pressed her glasses up. She clutched her chest and breathed in. _I can feel you, and I can neither go forward or run away, but more than that, I can't stay suspended between the two._ Haru sucked in another breath and hunched over, putting her hands on her knees, then lifted her eyes to the thin trees splitting the sun and kept going. _I can feel it. _Her hand fell against her chest, and she drew a strained breath. Then, she bolted the last few steps and stumbled out into a clearing.

The moment she reached the top of that hill, the moment she saw what was waiting for her, her heart slammed to a dead stop. _Why... _The word rippled across her mind as the smile cut into her and the calm steps drew closer. _What should I do? _She remembered she still had no phone. She couldn't leave her gigai behind; she didn't like the thought of abandoning it. She couldn't run away. She could only hold completely still as those feet walked forward, as that hand stretched out and clasped her neck without squeezing, as those eyes bore straight into her.

"Are you really that surprised to see me?" She fought back the urge to run away as those fingers slid over her skin. Her eyes flickered in warning as he leaned forward. "You truly are Misuzu's daughter. You realize what's happened, don't you? Somewhere deep down in that silence, you know." Haru didn't think she could experience a greater sensation of unpleasant surprise, but when that realization fell on her, she nearly lost her footing. "It was calling out to you, begging you to use it, and you refused. The question is, what made you do it?" Haru's eyes dimmed. "Was it for pride?" He let out a chuckle, and his fingers slid beneath her chin. "Do you even know yourself?" A pinprick of light appeared in her pupil, and she struck his arm away, pressing her own hand to her throat and casting him a venomous look. "How amusing... you utterly detest me."

"Who wouldn't?" she asked, shaking the chill from her bones and drawing a slow breath. "Give it back." Her reiatsu flared. "The hougyoku... give it back."

"I've let you use it enough. You saved Momo with it, and that espada." Haru's heart stopped for the second time that day when the object emerged. He held it so easily between his fingers. It flickered as if it were alive, calling out with its silent glimmer.

_Tasukete... _Her composure wavered. _Taskuete..._

"You wished it away. You realize that, don't you? Whatever fate befalls your comrades as a result of this... it will ultimately be your fault." The smile drove a knife of fear into her so sharp that her head reeled. "In ten days, I will destroy your world." Haru lifted her head, and his satisfaction waned slightly. "You still insist on clinging to the hope that you can beat me?" Her expression never changed as she pulled herself up from beneath the grinding thumb of his spiritual pressure.

_This isn't a mind game._ _That is the real hougyoku. What harm or good I've done us... I don't have the eyes to see it. But I know this... _She thrust her hand out, her index and middle finger raised and her thumb extended. _You are not the only one who can play the game. _

"The German three... you have picked up some strange habits from your estranged family."

"You showed me a truth you didn't need to. Now, it's my turn. I repay you with three statements, two truths and a lie. First..." She kept her thumb extended. "I will tell you that by the end of this, I will bring you lower than death." The amusement in his face was clear, but she raised her index finger before he could interrupt. "Second, I will tell you that your surprise ambush will be wiped out by a single shinigami." Haru saw something in his expression change, something slight. He hadn't expected her to know about that, but she wasn't finished. "Third, and finally, I will tell you that your sword will never kill me because there is someone who stands directly between us." Haru waited. For a minute, he didn't speak. He hunched over. Then, bone-chilling laughter poured from his lips.

"What is this? A children's game from the human world?" She smiled. "You gave me three lies."

"Why would I tell three lies? Or has it not occurred to you that I am capable of following rules every now and then?" Haru counted her fingers again and gazed at the three raised in turn. Then, she smiled. "Three statements... but which is the lie?"

"I think I know... at least two are lies." Haru's eyes flashed to his side. When had he drawn his sword? Why was it bloody? The answer became clear as the wound slammed into perception, her blood falling on the snow and spotting the trees around her. She saw the sky above the web of branches and fell against the ground. Her eyes remained locked on them until her vision dimmed. The last words she caught were Aizen's. "No one stands between us. And if you truly had the strength you said you did, you would have killed me in Hueco Mundo." She felt the cold under her fingers and moved her eyes to watch him go. "Sleep well, fallen flame."

_How... _She thought the word and tried to move. _How did this happen?_

"It didn't." Suddenly, she felt herself leaning against something warm. A hand was pressed over her mouth, and she was an observer to the spectacle she had been standing in only a moment ago. Everything had a bit of a shadowy quality, even the blood hanging in the air. Aizen looked back to watch it shatter with a smile, then cast his gaze ahead with a laugh and disappeared into a garganta. Once he was gone, she tipped her gaze back to her savior. Hajime wasn't wearing a smile, and his voice fell against her ear with a low but comforting tone. "Don't let his look fool you. What you said has him rattled. He will become consumed by the question. He can wish to know the answer, but your will binds the hougyoku to silence." He removed his hand when Haru relaxed, and when he knew the threat of being overheard was passed. "That first time, when he ended what was left of your human life with a weapon sheathed in illusions... I wish I could have been there to stop him." A dark note of anger worked its way into his voice, and he wrapped his arms around her shoulders. "Forgive me for showing him what he wanted to see." His eyes jerked to hers and touched the smile on her face. She shook her head slowly, then stood and started climbing down. When she almost slipped, he shot up and grabbed her. She didn't have to say anything. She knew that without a word, he understood what she was thinking. "Haru." She clung to his hand so tightly, she thought his fingers cracked.

_Together, _she said with her hand. _Let's go back... together._

For a moment, he didn't speak. Then, with a serious smile in his voice, he answered, "Alright."

"I'm sure she's fine," Urahara said, glancing at Takumi. His mismatched eyes fell to the table, and he drew a slow breath. Ishida fidgeted slightly, then started moving his fingers. "You say she called and said she'd be late? Didn't she accidentally destroy the communicator I gave her?"

"She called from a payphone," Ishida said quietly, "and told me to pass along the message to anyone who was waiting for her at the estate." He stared at the table again. "You think it's something serious?" Takumi wished he could have asked Grimmjow, but the hollow was hiding somewhere nearby, out of the reach of prying eyes and hopefully beyond detection. He shut his eyes and drew a slow breath, then leaned forward on his folded hands. Uneasiness worked through him and revealed itself in every nuance of his expression. "But if it was, why did she send you ahead of her?"

"I don't know." The sound of his voice was hollow. He lowered his head with a sigh. _Did I ever know anything at all? _He shut his eyes and thought about his last two weeks of life. His declaration of love. His captain's power wavering, then coming back strong. His best friend breaking away with the revelation of who he really was... they all flashed in his mind not as separate incidents but as one lump of memory that tangled around itself and made him press his hands over his eyes. He shut out the world and focused only on the rope of thoughts circling his head.

"I'm going to look for her." Ishida's declaration shattered the silence. Takumi's hands fell, and his eyes flickered with some awareness that wasn't there before.

"You shouldn't go."

"Why?" he asked blankly, situating himself to start getting up. The door flew open, and before he even had time to reconsider, he felt a violet shock of eyes move in his direction. He immediately sat back down. The way she stood, she appeared not to be looking at him but at some empty part of the room. She kept her gaze level as she sank down, putting her hands on her knees and staring at the grain of wood on the table. The one who had come with her remained in the doorway, but when Ishida tried to read his expression, he got no farther than the pure vein of fury lodged in his eyes. "What happened?" When her accomplice said nothing, he threw the same question at Haru. "What happened? Why were you late? And why are you with him?"

"Forgive me." After she said those words, there was no sound but her tears dropping against the table.

"Taichou, you're shaking."

"I'm cold." His pupil narrowed, and he slammed his hands down on the table.

"That's bull shit, and you know it!" He growled in frustration, and his eyes shot to the figure in the doorway, who calmly tipped back his hood and ran a slow hand through his hair. His eyes were much like Haru's, frozen with the horror of confronting a recent peril. "Hajime—" A slow smile spread across his face, methodical and chilling. His hand fell to his right eye, his fingers trembled, and the light seemed to drain out of him. He tipped forward, and Takumi managed to catch him before he hit the floor. "Hajime! Oi, Hajime!" He looked at the hand gripping his sleeve, noticed that it was shaking like a leaf about to let go.

"I can't." He said it through tears with a smile that suddenly shattered as he drew a sharp breath. "I can't protect her from that!"

"You can." This came from Haru.

"But—"

"Hajime," she said softly. He jerked up and stared at her, his eyes tracing the smile even though it really wasn't distinguishable. "Believe in yourself." The breath he had been holding came out in a hoarse gasp, and he bent his head. Takumi looked up to her, and she shook her head gently. He gritted his teeth and let out a short growl of frustration, trying to keep Hajime from sinking any farther. Her vice captain passed her another questioning look, and Haru glanced to Hajime for a moment before looking away.

In the interval of five seconds, Takumi had gleaned from these glances the full meaning of what had happened. _Hajime could have killed him. _The words entered his mind, and he clenched his jaw, suddenly feeling the urge to punch something. _The fact that he didn't... does it mean anything? _He glanced down at his friend and breathed a slight sigh. _Does it mean that he doesn't want Aizen to die, or does it mean... _He glanced up to Haru, who sipped her tea quietly and breathed a quiet sigh. She blew the steam off of its surface, then took another sip before setting it down. She lifted her eyes, and Ishida flinched at the seriousness in them, at the way gravity seemed to ignite at her very glance.

"I'll do it." She said it softly, then lowered her eyes to her tea cup. "I'll bring him lower than death for all the suffering he's caused this world..." She didn't even bother to wipe her tears away as she turned her eyes towards them. Takumi felt Hajime trying to get up, but for some reason, he was completely spent, and the fingers on his shoulder tightened until they shook. "So... so you don't have to cry anymore, aniki." The word came out as nothing but a breath, but it shattered the silence like a gunshot and reestablished it as soon as its resonance faded away. Hajime jerked up and opened his mouth to say something, but Haru only turned her head away. Her mouth was pressed together in a line that quivered from time to time. "Takumi, can you take him to get some air? I feel like I owe sensei and Ishi-nii an explanation."

"Come on," the vice-captain said, hauling Hajime to his feet and slipping out the door. Haru sipped her tea and tried to force her heart into a more regular state, but unfortunately, it was still racing with the recollection of him getting close enough to touch her. She set her tea down and curled her hands around her chest, then wiped her eyes again with her sleeve and drew a slow breath, casting her eyes across the table at them.

"I'll tell you the true state of things right now, if only because I need practice for when I tell Soul Society. But you'd better not breathe a word to anyone until then, or think ill of anyone I'm about to speak of."

That haunting song filled Byakuya's ears. The traditional New Year's gathering had ended two hours ago, and he still remembered every nuance in Haru's expression as she played. "As a sign of my trust," she said, but he knew better. There were only certain kinds of feelings that could move a whole room like that, some to tears, others to cutting smiles. Haru was calm and blissful, but he knew her heart was somewhere else, or with someone else, as she cast the tune into the air. She had done it as a sign of trust, but she had also done it to show them the true nature of her sentiments. Regardless of what happened in ten days, she had a clear mind and clean hands. Byakuya turned over and stared at her back for a little while, reaching out and drawing slowly back. For some reason, he got the impression that if she were awake, she wouldn't want to be touched. He shut his eyes and settled for knowing that she was right there next to him, then turned over on his back to get comfortable again.

"You can't sleep either, huh?" The voice made him jolt. He tipped his head to stare at her, at the calm violet haze focused on him. "Aizen."

"What about him?"

"He paid me a visit today." Byakuya's eyes snapped open. "I didn't want to tell anyone else, but I thought you should know..."

"Haru-kun, are you hurt?" He threw the blankets off and had half opened her yukata when she grabbed his wrists.

"I'm fine," she answered quietly. Byakuya's hands slipped away, and though she made no move to rearrange her clothes, she positioned herself to minimize the visibility of the disruption, resting her head in her arms and breathing a soft sigh. His eyes glinted in rebellion, but Haru's gaze remained firm. "I'm fine, so don't worry."

"How can you tell me no to worry after telling me that he had an affair with your mother of all people?"

"Byakuya-sama..."

"Did he touch you, Haru-kun?" The dark anger in his voice was undeniably noticeable, and she stared into his eyes, trying not to breathe at the implications of his words.

"No—where important." She added the last bit after a moment of silence.

"Everywhere is important," he stated. Haru lowered her eyes. "Where?" She gestured to her neck, and he slid his fingers over the skin, his lips following closely behind. His touch made her shiver for some reason, not out of fear, but out of something else. Suddenly, his head fell against her shoulder and his arms tightened around her.

"I apologize."

"What? Why?"

"Because I could not protect you from him." Haru felt the change in his breathing and smiled.

"He didn't do anything."

"Maybe not today. But he killed your parents. And he almost drove you to follow them. He made you hate your name and yourself. He put you through unspeakable hardships in Hueco Mundo, trying to break your limiter, trying to make you forget yourself... and I could not protect you from any of it." He sighed. "Why do you stay with me, if I cannot protect you?" Haru sighed.

"Because I love you. Isn't that reason enough?" Haru pushed his face up and touched it, smiling as her fingers slid away from his expressionless features. She fell into his smoldering gaze and sighed, resting her hands in her lap and trying not to think about the truth so it wouldn't show. "You don't have to protect me from him."

"I want to."

"Why?" she asked. He answered with a kiss, first gentle, then insistent, then utterly mind-numbing. She squirmed and pressed a hand against her mouth as she managed to twist away, trying to re-establish some coherent line of thought and figure out how they had gone from sitting upright to laying down so quickly. His arms tightened around her, and her back scraped against his chest. She hissed behind her hand and shut her eyes, clinging at gossamer threads of thought that the gentle breeze of his breath against her neck kept rearranging.

"Turn this way, Haru-kun."

"Why?"

"Please." Haru reluctantly rolled over, casting one eye at him, keeping her hands over her mouth, but instead of turning away as she had originally planned to do to bear the burden of her day in silence, she paused when she caught some nuance in his expression that she wasn't familiar with. Without saying anything, he gently pulled her hands against his chest and laid a light kiss on her lips. The moment they touched, she felt the change in that steady rhythm inside of his chest. He drew away and stared at her. Her eyes sank shut, and she wrapped her hand around his sleeve as their lips met again, equally briefly.

_Have I forgotten... _She stared at him, but he made no move to repeat his ministration. _Have I forgotten, in light of ignis solus, how easy it is to forget everything around him? _The memory of Aizen's gaze grew distant. Byakuya's calm look still possessed a trace of that anger, but it also held untold amounts of frustration that he couldn't be there to prevent whatever had happened. Haru gave a slight laugh, her hand flying to her mouth to prevent any more from spilling out. His eyebrow twitched slightly.

"Is something funny?"

"Nothing you did," she answered quietly. He laid down again, blanketing her with a protective gaze and drawing the remainder of her energy out of her. She felt his hand push her hair back and another faint kiss before he settled beside her. _This man... _He was asleep almost immediately. She peered at him for an instant before shutting her own eyes and moving closer. _No. I don't need to tell him about the hougyoku. No one needs to know. In the end, it doesn't matter. Even if he's using its power directly, he won't be able to save himself. _Haru's conviction slid through her, and she shut her eyes. _I will protect this world, no matter what it costs me._

* * *

><p>Ho ho ho... a slower chapter after a lot of intensity. Readers, please take this opportunity to regroup. It won't stay slow for long. I can promise you that. Despite its pacing, I hope you found this chapter enjoyable in its own way. Here's your Japanese lesson:<p>

Hatsuhinode: The Japanese tradition of watching the first sunrise of the year. It's supposed to bring good luck. The closest I got was watching the first sunset.

Hai: Yes

Iie: No

Arigatou: An expression of thanks that I am finally spelling right. One day, if boredom motivates me, I'm going to go back and change them all. But that day is a long time coming. XD

Tasukete: Help me, or save me.

AND that does it. Wow. I used practically no Japanese in this chapter. Whoopsie... I think it shows how my writing style has changed over the years. ^_^' At any rate, I'm going to call it a night and hope that the rest of the cold abates by morning. Thanks again for reading!


	22. Chapter 22: Severance

A/N: Hello, out there! Anyone left? *crickets* Welp... I guess I'll have a conversation with the walls, then.

It has been an absolutely obscene amount of time since I have updated, and I apologize. I've been insanely busy with work, trying to get published, and preparing for many upcoming significant life changes. Despite all of that, I have officially put "Finish Posting TNY" on my to-do list for the month, and this is my first step in doing so, Chapter 22. Spoiler alert: There are 26 chapters and probably a short epilogue I'm still thinking about.

I'm going to try to avoid being long-winded here. Thanks for all of the favorites and follows (f&f), and thank you especially to my reviewers over the past 8-9 months: NAO-chan33 and animelover56348 (loyal reviewers for a long, long time), wibblywobblyreality (who gave me one of the best threats ever), and my two lovely guest reviewers NoName and yasmine. It has been a while since my last chapter, so please forgive me if I missed you.

Please enjoy the reading!

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 22: Severance<em>

Haru rolled over and let a groan slip past her lips. She was half asleep, steeped in recent memory, and only faintly aware that she had moved past that frame of time, out of the basement where she had spent three days slicing her fingers on a string while the third risen form continually slipped through them. She didn't eat or sleep, and unless Suzaku had reminded her to, she would have forgotten to breathe. Each time she collapsed, the phoenix would say, _This may be your only chance, but if you kill yourself this time, then we're sure not to get another_. She knew from the sound of the voice that Suzaku was smiling when she said it, in full confidence. After digesting the words, she would always wipe her forehead, pluck herself up, part her feet, and shoot again. Inside of herself, as she grew closer to that form, she faintly perceived (and often forgot) that something inside of her was tightening.

On the last day, in the last few minutes, it happened. She had collapsed again, gasping for breath like a koi plucked from a pond, her eyes locked on her mangled fingers. She felt the muscles in her arm spasming, but more than that, she heard her heartbeats ticking away the seconds until the door would close. She closed her eyes for an instant to stand in the garden of rain. Suzaku was wheeling in the same pattern in the sky, the lemniscate she had been replicating for days. She sailed around, and Haru noticed for the first time her hyperawareness of every ripple from every drop of water. She fixed her focus and shut her eyes, tilting her head up towards the sky, and the pouring rain fell silent. In the depths of her soul, beneath those flickering waters and the dark sky, she heard the faintest whisper.

A name.

Haru's eyes snapped open, and she gritted her teeth as she forced herself to stand, her reiatsu flaring and snapping at the air. When it settled, she clenched her teeth and forced herself to draw that string back just once more. This time, the form was more pliant, and somehow more solid. She felt the surface of the reiatsu the same way she would feel the surface of a table. Every muscle in her arm tensed. The bands marking her bonds with her weapons seared her ability to think. She sucked another breath into her lungs. Then, in a voice no louder than a hoarse whisper full of raw longing, she said the word she had heard in her soul's deepest part. When that arrow left the string, she knew it was done. She clenched her chest and exhaled a sigh of relief. Tears three days old seeped out of her eyes. It was over. It was finally over.

But the tension inside of her did not unwind. It snapped and released all at once, fluttering and broken, pulled by the unseen streams of reishi brushing through the air. A hint of raw pain scraped against the side of her face. Then...

_What happens after that... _She thought the words, then flexed her hand, both in that instant and in memory. Her eyes opened, but where she should have found the culmination of her power, she found Byakuya instead. The sting of pain in her face was nothing but his finger brushing against her cheek, pushing a tear away. She blinked and sat up, touching the same spot he just had as another wave of tears escaped her and the half-notion bloomed fully in her mind. _What happens after that is so unfathomable... that the mere thought of it is enough to do this to me. _She passed Byakuya a look, puzzled and lost, but there was something else in it. She could tell by the way his brows fell together. The thought remained lodged in her head. _In that moment... _In her memory, she was falling to the ground again. _In that moment... _She remembered the distant sensation of hitting the grass, of being only half aware, of the way that power flared up around her and consumed every desire and effort to restrain it. More than that, she remembered the result, pressed against her palm, gleaming as if peering at her... She twisted her head in the other direction, her mouth melting into a serious line of thought.

_In that moment, it was almost as if I forgot how to feel. _

"Haru-kun." Byakuya spoke her name softly. "What is it? A nightmare?" She didn't want to look at him, but her head cut to him as soon as he said those words, and his own widened slightly in shock at the fierceness of her expression. Suddenly, her tears seemed to be made of something else entirely. A frustrated hiss slipped between her clenched teeth.

"I don't want to forget," she said. She dried her face and looked at him again, looking just as determined than before. "The feeling I get when I stand in the rain, and the feeling I get when I fight my vice-captain... the feeling I get when aniki pushes me away, and the one when I drink sweetened tea... the feeling I get... when you look at me with a blank face but eyes that are smiling..." A fresh wave of tears sprang free, and she gave a slight laugh, tipping her gaze aside. "Not that it matters now." Before she could protest, two impatient sapphires seared her, and a pair of lips pushed against hers insistently. Every thought seeped out of her mind as she clutched his yukata. She only remembered to resist when her back fell against the futon. Haru managed to push him away and utter half of an objection before he silenced her again. She struggled for a moment, then managed to pull away and blurt out one fragment of his name. He took it for a protest and paused, but it was evident from his face that it was difficult, just as it was evident from hers that that was not what she had intended. Finally, a sigh left her, and she tipped her head to the side. "We still have work," she stated. He stared at her, then leaned down again, this time placing his mouth next to her ear. The first thing that fell against it was a fragment of exasperated laughter.

"This will more than likely be the last morning I can savor your company. You realize that, and yet..." He paused, watching as the troubled look swept over her features, then sighed and sat up, pressing a hand to his head. "Forget what I said. It was not meant to bait you, or guilt you into acting. Clearly, I wasn't considering your feelings—" He stopped when he glanced down at her again, sprawled out and staring up at him with a perplexed expression that only egged him on. His smoldering look cut away, and he pressed a thoughtful hand to his mouth. "Gods... something tells me if I live long enough to marry you, part of me will regret it." She gave a slight laugh, and he glanced back down at her, at the smile on her face, and sighed as he turned towards her. "Are you really that worried about forgetting those feelings?"

"There are worse things in life."

"I will not let you forget."

"You may not have a choice in the matter." His expression hardened, and he leaned down again, his voice falling against her ear in a tone that made her shudder.

"I will not let you forget." Haru stared at him as he backed away, then reached up and touched his face. Something in his eyes flickered or changed, and she gave a slight laugh.

"You don't know how good of a look desperate is on you," she murmured, her fingers sliding down to his jawline. "You're trying so hard to resist your impulse... why bother? It's the last morning. It's early. We're both in a perfectly lucid state of mind. So why not let it go, hmm?" The light in his gaze shifted, and she continued to study him in a silence broken only by breathing. _The lie buried within the truth... _Her eyes fell shut for an instant. _A state lower than death..._ _and the price I have to pay to get him there..._

"Haru-kun... wait..." She pulled herself up and slid her lips against his neck, ignoring his protest and pulling him down.

"Wait?" she asked quietly, brushing the same skin she'd just kissed with her fingers and watching his concentration waver. "Just a minute ago, you were the one who wasn't going to wait." He tried not to move when her fingers slid against his skin, tried not to shut his eyes or embrace her, but he was finding it increasingly difficult. Her face was lit with a smile, amused and contemplative. "Kuchiki Byakuya..." He managed a sigh when her hands returned to his face. They lazily brushed the hair behind his ear, then along his jaw. "I think my biggest regret in leaving this world behind for war... is that I will also be leaving you." He felt them trace lines from his cheeks to his shoulders. Then, Haru dropped her arms and peered away, her eyes flickering with that flaming rain. "I don't want you to forgive me for it. I want you to stay angry, so that after this is over, you can move forward with your own life. Promise me that." She shut her eyes and waited for the words, but they never came. Instead, he grabbed her hand and pressed it against his chest. Against her palm, she felt the steady _thud thud thud _that betrayed his composed appearance. She didn't shudder, and her smile didn't waver, but Byakuya seemed to feel that serious notion sliding through her. His heart beat changed a fraction, and he lowered himself. "What do you want me to do, Byakuya-sama?"

"Live." That was all he said as he buried his hands in her hair and his face against her shoulder. "Fight and live. And while you are alive, permit me the honor of staying with you in whatever manner you see fit. That is all I will ever ask of you." She pressed her hands against his shoulders and felt them quivering slightly, felt his breath fall against her neck and the heat pouring off of his face. She shifted to get comfortable again only to feel a hand slide between her and the mattress and a pair of fingers trail along her spine. Her back arched, and she made a noise, half-protest, half surprise, clutching the back of his yukata so tightly that they turned white. "Promise me," he said in a low voice, his mouth pressed against her ear. She couldn't speak. Instead of answering, she only clung more tightly to him. "Unless any of those things are undesirable to you, then promise me." Haru felt tears seeping out of her eyes again. She tried to speak, but all she could manage was another wordless noise as he lazily shifted the finger resting against her back. She felt her own heart racing, pounding in her ears, and before she knew why, she had shifted and pressed her lips against his. It was the only way she could think of to communicate everything.

_Do you understand? _she asked in her mind. There was no answer, except for the firm, almost insistent pressure of his mouth against hers, so she wasn't sure if he did.

But what did it matter?

* * *

><p>Hajime sat under a tree as the sun climbed away from the horizon, sipping hot tea and wishing it was sake. His posture was alert but relaxed the way one was after a long night of fighting shadows. His hands were steady even though they tingled with the heat of the tea and the lingering afterburn of firing so many kidou. His eyes were fixed and determined, but not really focused on anything outside of him. They settled on a faint scratch on the back of his hand, and his lips curled into a smile. <em>If only my opponent felt the same.<em>

The wind stirred slightly, the very same wind that had cut him, and for all his sight, he could not tell whether the air was apologetic, ashamed, or adamant. He shut his eyes for a moment and drew a slow breath. Swords in the dark, flashing as they struck one another. Kidou throwing shadows in the night. Hoarse breaths, and cutting wind... with the moon and stars peering down on them. Hajime bit back a laugh and leaned back, staring at the sunlight through the naked branches, but each drop of light was a memory that rippled through his mind. He remembered the final movement, the one that ended with his opponent on the ground, gasping for breath while Hajime stood, his silhouette cutting the moonlight. Not dead, but wounded, he stared up at Hajime and dared him with his eyes to finish things. Instead, he had sheathed his sword, knelt, and worked over the worst of the wounds.

_In your own way, I think you won that fight... Takumi. _His eyes slid open, and he examined the patches of sky above. _Even if you don't think you did._ He expelled a slight laugh as he raised his cup again, then tilted his head without spilling a drop when a knife flew past him and embedded itself in the wood. He stared at it for a moment, then took one short sip of his tea and said, "Soi Fon-taichou, if you're trying to kill me, shouldn't you be a little less obvious?" She shot down from the branches to the ground without moving a single one. They only began to shift when she crouched next to him. He didn't even glance up when she set a knife against the side of his throat. In truth, he'd expected it. And in truth, he'd had worse things pointed at him.

_He asked me to fight him nine days ago. _He sipped his tea while he watched that thought cross her mind, his expression calm despite the point scraping against his skin and the glare Soi Fon impaled him with. _Nine days I've thrown him around and berated him. Nine days, and between paperwork, it has been nothing but swords and kidou and shunpo. Nine days... _Moments of battles between them flashed through her head. The way he wheeled around her... she admitted only to herself that it was dizzying. He seldom paused, and if he did, it was because he thought he had found a way to throw her. And he had, a few times, nicked her, thrown her off balance, and once, he had raised his hand to fire a bakudou only to stop himself at the last moment. Instead, he had closed his hand and lowered it, and Soi Fon, infuriated, had thrown him down so hard that he had practically lost consciousness. When he sat up, he pressed a hand against his head, tested his vision, and peeled himself up. "Idiot!" she had shouted, more in defiance of his mercy than anything else. "You hesitate like that in a real fight, and you die."

"I know."

"So why the hell didn't you finish it?" He had continued staring at the ground, his lips pressed together in a fine line. Irritated, she grabbed the front of his uniform and jerked his eyes to hers. "I said I wanted your strength, your speed, and every ounce of your power. And you repay me by letting a perfectly good opportunity slip through your fingers. You disappoint me." With the look he gave, she knew she had wounded him. He must have felt her grip slacken, because he pulled away and knelt, wrapping his hand around her calf and touching, for the first time, the knife that was embedded in her leg, the knife she hadn't even bothered to notice. It was one of hers he had deflected, but when had it hit her?

"It's because..." He paused and jerked it out, and she fell back with a faint hiss of pain. His grasp didn't waver even as he laid the knife aside and raised his fingers, coated in a faint haze. "...I didn't want to push that knife in further." When his face was lit by medicinal kidou, it took on a whole different quality. And she found that almost as dizzying as his movements. Every feature took on a kindness that should never have existed in someone like him. It was reminiscent of the late Shimori-sensei, his mentor. He didn't let go until her leg was healed, and when he did, he only said, "Sorry I grabbed you so suddenly." She had jerked up at the words, realizing she had let her own guard down. "Shall we continue, Soi Fon-taichou?"

Nine days. Nine little days that felt like an eternity and an instant all at once... had it really only been nine days?

When she jerked out of her thoughts, it was to find Hajime examining her intently with mismatched eyes, a slight smile playing on his face as if he, too, had borne witness to her memories. He only remembered to glance away at the last minute. "I'll fight you all you want," he said in the same calm voice as that day in recent memory. "Just let me finish this first."

"Don't bother," she retorted, jerking her knife out of the tree and sinking into a seiza, watching as he calmly sipped his tea. "Save that strength for tomorrow. Anyway, I didn't come here for that. I came to ask you something." He lowered his cup and gave Soi Fon the benefit of his full attention since she still had the point of a knife against his jugular. "You always seem to know when I'm around. How?" Hajime didn't bother biting back a sigh. Instead, he took another sip, giving her a hard look when he felt the blade bite gently into his skin. "I've been doing this job for a long time. I take pride in being able to sneak up on my target and end things quickly, quietly—" Soi Fon stopped speaking when she picked up the laughter in Hajime's eyes. "It's an art!" That time, he laughed outright. Without a word, she drew back the knife and plunged it forward with the intention of at least showing him the consequence of making fun of her, but he restrained her wrist and tilted his cup to keep the tea from spilling.

"I'm afraid you're preaching to the choir," he said, giving another quiet laugh and glancing away. "I learned a lot about that in Rukongai, but I never really thought of calling it an art, at least until I started fighting you." When he released her, Soi Fon lowered her weapon and watched incredulously as he went on sipping his tea. "Would you mind answering one question?" She gave him permission with a slow shake of her head. "I've been meaning to ask... why you're watching me so closely." He tilted his head, his right eye a wash of brown and violet, his left more monochromatic, and his expression amused at best, sinister at worst. "At first, I thought it was some interest in my power, but that's too simple for someone like you. I would have gone digging around, but I respect your privacy enough to know my boundaries." He sipped his tea again and released a breath, watching it rise on the air. "Soi Fon-taichou..."

"When this is done, I want you in my division." His eyes cut to her as his fingers faltered and the cup almost slipped out of his hands. The tea sloshed precariously but did not creep beyond the edges of its vessel. He regained control over it quickly, then gave her a dubious glance. "I'm serious. I'll give you a seat and everything. I'd make you vice-captain if I could, but I've already got one. Omaeda's an idiot, but he's loyal. I want to do right by him." He blinked as his mind tried to catch up with the words she had just uttered.

"Why?" he asked blandly.

"If you appreciate quietness and stealth, there's no better place for you than the second. Besides, it'll give you a chance to cut loose every now and then, and when I..." Her voice trailed off. "When I die, I think it'd be good for someone like you to be here." She sounded grim, then glanced at him, obviously digging for an answer, but Hajime only peered back, completely bewildered. Slowly, he leveled his gaze to the snow.

"Do I need to remind you... of the circumstances surrounding my existence?"

"Like I give a damn about—"

"I'm not saying you do. I'm saying others might, and if you open that door, then what would stop me from repeating the mistakes my—" He cut himself off and lowered his head, trying to silence the blood pounding in his ears.

"You aren't him." For the second time since she had appeared, Hajime jerked his head up and stared at the captain wordlessly. "Aizen, I mean. You aren't alone. There are people who would kill to keep you safe. So instead of being afraid of becoming him, why don't you just decide right now to be yourself?" He set the last bit of his tea down and stood up, his sleeves waving slightly as he swayed his arms. He fanned out his gaze on everything before him, on the distant Seireitei and the blue sky dotted with clouds. He tilted his palm upward and stared at his three fingers for a moment. Then, a smile broke over his face.

"You make it sound easy, Soi Fon-taichou. More than anything else, that truly shows the kind of strength you possess: the strength to know who you are for your whole life and never doubt that." His eye appeared over his shoulder, coupled with a smile that could easily be mistaken for tears. "Unfortunately, that isn't the kind of life I lived in the past. It's not the kind of life I intend to live in the future. I have enough power of my own. I don't need the authority a seated rank would give me." He turned fully towards her, his cloak licking the air behind him, as he lowered his head into a bow. "So, forgive me, but I can't accept your offer." She expected him to rise, but he didn't, even after time passed. He had no intention of doing so until she acknowledged his decision. And for once, she wasn't entirely sure what words she should give him, so she said the only thing that came to mind, in a voice full of firm authority.

"Raise your head, Hajime." He lifted his eyes and examined her with a desolate kind of satisfaction. "You're an idiot to turn down an offer like that. Not many people would. I can't figure out why—"

"That should be obvious enough!" he cut in.

"Silence. Don't interrupt your superior." He pressed his lips together and shifted his eyes. "Do you doubt your own power? Is that it?"

"No."

"Your self-control?"

"No," he answered again, then added "Soi Fon-taichou," in an imploring tone that didn't need explained.

"Then what is it? What's stopping you?"

"I can't—"

"You just told me you didn't doubt yourself."

"I said I didn't doubt my self-control," he answered, obviously exasperated. She had apparently touched a nerve. "You're asking me these questions knowing full well the kind of potential I have."

"Then you should easily be able to understand why I would offer you that kind of power."

"But—"

"Don't interrupt me," she repeated, and he bit the inside of his mouth. "Gods, you're bearable and unbearable all at once, and sometimes in the same moment. You marched through that senkaimon defiantly, but now, you're no less obedient than a lost dog chasing its master's shadow. Make up your damn mind and quit wavering."

"You're offering me this power not knowing what I have to do before this war is over!"

"And I offer it knowing that no matter how questionable your actions may seem, your loyalty is more solid than anything in this world, the same as Haru's is." The color drained out of his face, and for a moment, she thought he was going to cry. He clenched his fist and lowered his head, but something held back the tears. What was it? The fear of appearing weak in front of her, after fighting her for so long and maintaining strength? It was annoying, more annoying than she could put into words. She stood up and touched him, right where his neck met his shoulder, firmly, and with enough pressure to make him jolt up in surprise, but there was something gentle in it, at least gentler than her fists were. For all his sight, he couldn't have guessed such a thing existed in someone who had thrown him around for nine days without hesitation, apology, or remorse. In the back of his mind, he knew that the person he was in Rukongai would have driven a blade into Soi Fon without hesitation for setting a hand against a vital point, but the action had taken him so off-guard that he could only stare at her. "You remind me of myself at your age. Just a little, though," she said. "There was someone I really admired in my position once. I guess you could say she took care of me better than my family did. She trained me for years, and when she left, I found myself being forced to step up to take her place, heartbroken and angry as I was. And when we reconciled years later, I couldn't help but wonder what I'd do if I were in her place, if I had a young student who admired me."

"I don't—"

"Quiet," she said, and his eyes lazily drifted away, seeing it was pointless. "I trained you for nine days. I put you through pure hell, and you never once complained or questioned. If I threw you down, you got back up. If you dropped your sword, you fought me off until you could regain your grasp. You countered me kidou for kidou. What's more, you did it without fear or anxiety, like you already knew the outcome of every fight. You pick up on things like killing instinct when you fight someone as much as I fought you, and I don't say this to many people, but you have potential." His eyes widened slightly, and something odd slid through them. "That could be a good or a bad thing, so until I've sharpened it to a point that is beyond a shadow of a doubt good for defending this place, I want to keep you in my line of sight." The fingers loosened slightly. "You said earlier that you didn't see quiet movements as an art until you started fighting me. What did you mean by that?" When he looked at her, it was with eyes beyond desolated.

"Only that in fighting you, I saw it as more than what it really is."

"You were seeing me as a woman and not a captain, you mean."

"I was seeing it as a power that a captain as well as some hungry, desperate, pathetic shadow from the filthiest slums of Rukongai could use, but the result is always the same. Someone bleeds." He gave her a firm look coupled with a smile like tears. "Sometimes, when we were fighting, I confess I wasn't thinking of you as an opponent or a captain, but as a person. I often asked myself what you would do if you could see the world the way I do."

"What did you decide?"

"Easy. You never would see things that way."

"Because of Rukongai?"

"No," he answered, shaking his head and folding his arms. "If I maybe so bold to say... it's not for any social reason. It's that our powers are so different from one another. Both are quiet killers, it's true, but yours is more active, and mine is more passive."

"You speak as if you know."

"I do know." It was Soi Fon's turn to arch a confused brow as Hajime raised his hand. "This eye sees the world as it appears." He pointed to his left eye, then moved his erected finger to the right. "This eye sees the world at is. The difference between them is utterly immeasurable." He let the silence settle in between them and smiled again, obviously delighted that he could turn the conversation so easily. He gave an easy breath as her eyes darted back to his. "This will be the last time we speak to each other before tomorrow, Soi Fon-taichou." Without thought, her hand shot forward to restrain him, but he slid right out of her reach. After a single step and one last smile, he disappeared. She could have easily caught him. She could have pursued him and restrained him, but something stopped her: an inexplicable understanding that what he was going to do was more important than arguing with her, or the drizzle of tea remaining in his cup. She lifted the vessel off the ground and emptied it on the sleeping roots of the tree, then examined it. She slipped it inside of her sleeve and set her footsteps in the direction of her office. Until this was over, it would live on the corner of her desk. Whether or not she was alive to return it... well, therein lay the problem.

* * *

><p>Takumi wasn't sleeping. He was sprawled oyt in the middle of the wooden floor with one hand pressed against his forehead and the other arm lying motionless beside him. Behind his closed eyes, he was thinking. Normally, at such a pivotal time, he would have been looking—staring—into the future with all of his will, but he was already spent. After a faint bite of pain, his eyes split open, and he stared at the ceiling above him. <em>This sort of thing... <em>He shut them again, not wanting to see. He could still smell things in the air that weren't normally there, scents that had followed him inside: a brisk wind, and the lingering after burn of kidou, so strong that he could almost taste it. He sucked air in through his teeth and started thinking about the messages his body was sending him. His fingers tingled. He was cold. He imagined his breath was rising as mist on the air. His arms still stung more than a little. Inside, he was sure akumashoku was pacing back and forth on the rock in the burning lake, tails flicking, mismatched eyes rounding the room, with a quiet growl of discontent rising from his throat. His heart was beating, ticking away the hours before the war, and all he could do was lay there, eyes perceiving only memory.

_This sort of thing is absolutely unbearable._

What had done it? How was it that in his last hours of existence, he could only feel the doubt lodged in his chest, the doubt he thought he had buried when he had reconciled with his zanpakutoh?

_I want to see... _Those words rippled across his mind, and he stared at the darkness above him. _I want to see, but I can't. _That realization made him cringe and release a short sound into the room. _I... can't... _

"Fight me." He remembered those words, remembered the voice that spoke them, remembered how he and Hajime had simply been sitting on the roof drinking sake and mending their friendship one cup at a time. Takumi's head pivoted, and he laughed.

"You're joking." He said it, but he knew—as Hajime did—that there was nothing joking about it. Takumi's smile wavered, and he stared at his friend for a long time. Suddenly, Hajime turned his face to the moon.

"It's a stupid thing to want," he said, "but I don't feel like I can walk onto that battlefield until I've fought you seriously." Takumi shifted as Hajime's eyes rested on him. "If you die in two days and I live, I'll regret not showing you the worst part of myself, because I saw yours so many times." Hajime gave another laugh and bent his head. Something sad slid through his eyes, but his smile remained. "No..." he murmured at last, shaking his head. "I don't suppose I should."

"Hajime..."

"It's fine," he said, tilting his head back. "Alcohol does that to me sometimes. I don't think before speaking. By the way, do you ever hear from anyone else from our academy days?"

"What brought that on all of a sudden?"

"Nothing. Just wondering." Takumi folded his hands. When was the last time he'd heard anything of them? "It's not that things weren't complicated back then. More like, neither of us had eyes capable of seeing just how complex the world is." Hajime sighed and smiled at the moon. "Tomo got placed in division eight. Shizuka got placed in division three. Tatsuo is in division seven now. They all graduated two or three months ago. I watched the ceremony, but I didn't talk to them. It wasn't because our bonds back then weren't important. It's because they aren't important now."

"I know what you mean," Takumi said. "The guys from back then, and sensei... I've barely thought about them. When I left, I felt like I had to give up that connection."

"Why?"

"Because I was moving on, and I didn't really see a point." _Because you were still supporting me. _He added the last bit in silence, but he knew from the look on Hajime's face that he gleaned the meaning from that statement. Hajime stood up and stared at the horizon, then murmured something and passed Takumi an unmistakable look. When he drained his cup, the sake sent heat pulsing through him, but it didn't drive away his sudden urge to fight, or the way those words slammed into him again and again even after silence fell.

"We are the past." Nothing happened for a few moments after the sake was gone. When he exhaled, the wind stirred the haze of his breath and carried it away. He felt the push, the forceful shove, in Hajime's mismatched eyes, and he knew that Hajime had seen something he couldn't.

_We are the past. _Those words echoed in his head like ghosts bound to half-life. _What kind of thing is that to say? _He slung his arm over his eyes and gritted his teeth. _Something that so easily drives us both to the very limits of our sanity... _He felt something hot seep out of his eyes and fell completely limp as the sound of their swords clashing echoed in his memory. Hajime without his smile, and he without any restraint whatsoever, and the wind cutting around them as he broke the binds of one bakudou just to find himself ensnared in another. The moon and the stars became a blur, and the silence of night yielded to their blows. _It's painful. _He moved onto his side as the stinging filled his eyes and clutched his chest. _The way you turn a blind eye to the light left in this world, and the way I let you stay that way even though I could have said something... why couldn't I say anything? Was it because of that push in your eyes? What do you know? What is it that you can't tell me? What can I do for you? What can I do to repay you for all those times you knelt with me on the floor, all those times you guarded me? What does it matter? If you wanted my help, wouldn't you ask for it?_

He only faintly heard the sound of his name through the rush of questions in his head. The hand clutching his shoulder felt like a feather.

"Takumi... Takumi... can you hear me? Say something!" The touch on his head was as hot as the light that had touched his eyes. "You're freezing! Did you stay here all night? What happened to you?" He sat up as the details worked their way into perception. For a moment, he kept his eyes locked on the floor. Then, slowly, he raised them to Hinamori's face. His face slowly broke into a smile.

"I can't." His smile wavered, and he bent his head. "I just... can't." His fingers curled into fists on his knees. "Gomen." He felt her fingers brush against the back of his head and broke. "Gomen," he choked out again.

"Why are you apologizing?" she asked. "Did you do something wrong?" He shook his head, unsure of whether or not the duel he had half-dreamed last night was right or wrong, or if it was even either of those things. He felt Hinamori's eyes racing over him. He was sure she saw the cuts and singes Hajime had left behind, but no wounds, because he had already taken care of those. "Who..."

"Don't ask me!" he managed, his voice an exasperated, silence-shattering call that he had intended to be a whisper and all but sobbing against her shoulder. The blows they had exchanged, the stalemate outcome, and the weight of it feeling like more than a loss. He shuddered with every breath, because with every breath, he relived the entire fight in one instant.

But between those instants, or two of them, he realized what Hajime had meant when he said those words. The weight of that realization sank into him, and he clung tighter to her. It was blinding, deafening... it almost took him entirely out of himself. It would have if he had been alone.

"What can I do?" she asked, roping him to his current state of mind with her quiet words. "What can I do to make you stop feeling like this?"

"Nothing." The word was so faint coming from his lips, yet it held more meaning than just that one word. She pushed him away and forced his eyes onto hers. Though mismatched in color, both were gleaming equally bright with tears. He swallowed and lowered them. He could see it all. Her anger. Her frustration. The way that word wounded her. She leaned forward slightly, and Takumi's eyes moved to hers. He smiled faintly and wrapped his hands around her wrists, shaking his head. "I can't." She blinked as if she'd just been hit. "We are the past."

"What are you saying?" His eyes wandered away again as his smile grew more acrid. "Takumi—"

"You know how I feel about you. Those feelings haven't changed, and they probably won't, at least not for a long time. But I can't burden you with the need to mourn me."

"Takumi—"

"Please let me go, Momo." Takumi pulled her hands away easily and stood, wobbling, then straightening himself. "We are the past. That's all there is to it." He pushed the door open and stepped into the sunlight, wiping his face one more time with the back of his sleeve and fixing his mismatched eyes on the sky above. He could see it... the moon that was half-visible in the pale blue clearness above, and with his left eye, he could see the shadowed half of its disk. He pressed his lips together and drew a slow breath. _There's nothing you can do for me. I can't do anything to change my own fate, _he thought. _No more than I can do anything to change yours. But she can. And she will. _He grinned and scratched his head as he silently addressed his friend. _If you can't see that, then that's your problem. I can't be responsible for you._

He staggered as a pair of arms wrapped around him and a face pressed itself between his shoulders. Then, just as quickly, he felt them grow slack. "If that's what you really want, then I'll let you go. I don't like it. I don't like to see you forcing yourself to do this, but that's fine. You've made your choice. I respect that." Takumi turned an eye over his shoulder and noticed—or perhaps some part of him had always known—that Hinamori Momo was a stronger person than he could ever be. No tears, no anger, not even a trace of resentment. "But I'll still mourn for you. I don't care what we are or were, or will be if I don't have to mourn." Takumi gave a slight smile and whirled away. Her voice was so calm, he wasn't even sure if she would cry later, but she had to, didn't she? He wanted to shout at her, but the words he wanted to say were nothing more than a silent echo in his head.

_How can you be so calm in a situation like this? _He breathed in the winter air until it stung his lungs and jerked him back into awareness.

"I won't ask what happened between you and Hajime. I won't ask what he said or did to upset you. I'm only asking you to come back."

Again, he wanted to speak. _You're talking to someone who's already dead. _But he said nothing. To the end, he was weak. He didn't want others to suffer for him. That was why he hated crying women. He was a selfish younger brother who grew up in the sight and sound and shadow of his sister's tears, even if she wasn't showing them. He would likely never be anything more.

"So..." Her voice had that calm authority that drew his gaze even if he didn't want to look at her. "Tomorrow, I want you to shout your zanpakutoh's name to the heavens, so even the gods themselves can hear it and tremble. Not for me, though. If you don't want to. For yourself. For the division."

_Because I am a selfish little brother, _he thought, _who wants to pay this one debt. Because to change fate, one must give up something of equal worth. _He breathed a slow sigh.

"Shout it so I can hear it in Soul Society. Shout it so we know that our hardships give us strength and that they will continue to do so." It took Takumi a moment to realize his mouth was hanging open. He pressed his lips together, then looked her straight in the eyes and uttered a single word. She had to shield her eyes from the wind that kicked up suddenly, but when she uncovered her face, she tasted Takumi's lips on hers and struggled to keep a grasp on that word. He drew away calmly after that chaste gesture of affection and clasped the hand she had tried to press over her mouth. He left her with a smile, and with a whisper in her ear so soft that she barely thought he had spoken it.

"Sayonara."

He walked away with dry eyes and straight shoulders. _I cannot change my feelings for Momo-san, _Takumi thought, clenching his fist. _No more than I can change that part of myself that is a selfish little brother. No... those things are too strong for me to change right now. I can only leave a gap, filled with the bridge of my confession. _His steps didn't falter as he pulled the eye patch out of his uniform and stared into the wind, his soul practically screaming with the soft admission he had left her with. He let it slide through his fingers and pulled his sword free after drawing a slow breath, then fell into that slow moving meditation, that gentle waltz with the current of air embracing him. _Tomorrow. _The word echoed in his chest, and the wind fell still as the silent cry of his soul surged in him. _Tomorrow, the heart of the wind will beat with the desperate passion of a thousand unlived lifetimes._

* * *

><p>"Has everyone settled matters within their own divisions?" Genryuusai asked the question, but no one answered. It wasn't defiance or denial of possibility that this may be their final captain's meeting. Instead, the awareness filled every corner. He waited for someone to speak. No one did. "At the very least, I would like to compile a written record of this. Hence, the scribe." Miyake nodded and held his brush at the ready, but no one spoke. No one dared to. "You cannot honestly tell me that <em>none <em>of you have made preparations. This is war. We must ensure that rebuilding Soul Society will be easy in the event of a slaughter. This sort of thing is entirely—"

"Soutaichou-sama." The voice came from Haru, whose posture remained straight until she felt him looking at her. She turned her head slowly and gave him a confident look. "I met with my seated officers this morning to discuss the line of succession in the event that Takumi and I both die. If only he remains, then I elect him as my replacement."

"The Fujiwara? Are you out of your mind?"

"I can assure you, Saijin-san, I am perfectly sane," she said calmly. "Someone with his power should be a captain, anyway, but as long as I'm alive, he'll obstinately refuse. Mark my words." She paused to tell herself something, then waited for permission to continue. It came in the form of a nod, and she sighed. "In the event that Takumi is unable to assume his duties as captain, I have made arrangements to promote my third seat, Hinamori Momo-san, to the rank of interim captain until a replacement or replacements are selected by the members of my division, whom I have also granted the ability to override my vice captain's promotion if they do not think he is fit for the job. Once they have elected candidates, they will be selected by passing the captain's exam, or by election from the remaining captains. And don't bother writing any of that." Miyake stopped immediately and looked up at her. "I had some extra time when I was taking care of family matters, so I wrote it down myself and announced my plans to my entire division. All of my seated officers have signed this as witnesses and have agreed to the terms."

"And if your vice-captain dies?"

"I see no need to make provisions for that," Haru answered. Some solid conviction ran through her eyes, and Genryuusai nodded slowly.

"I made similar preparations," Hitsugaya answered, pulling a document from his uniform. "It's all written here. The new captain and vice-captain are to be chosen by traditional methods. In the event that there aren't enough captains to verify or elect a new one, then the wartime rules apply: at least eighty percent of the remaining captains are to perform the election and monitor the captain's exam."

"Although I doubt that both of us will die," Mayuri stated, drawing a form from his sleeve and studying it. "I have also composed my post-war methods for selecting a new captain and vice-captain."

"I did, too," Soi Fon said, shrugging and extending her hand. "In the event that my oaf of a vice-captain and I both die, my replacement will be Tokazawa Hajime." Every eye in the room cut to her, some questioning, some wary, others completely shocked. Haru's were solid seriousness.

"With all due respect, Soi Fon-taichou, given his heritage—"

"With all due respect, Ukitake-taichou," she said in her calm and cutting voice, "I don't give two shits about his heritage, his background, or his history. I know potential when I see it. He's an uncut gem, but give him a decade or two, and he can fill the position no problem."

"Won't your division need an immediate replacement?" Ukitake insisted.

"Not if he's already provisional captain."

"But—"

"Ukitake-kun," Unohana said calmly, her face lit with a smile. "I don't mean to argue your point. It is natural that such things are disconcerting to most of us. However, even knowing his origins, Hajime-kun has proven that he has leadership skills. He hides it well, I think, but he never lets his personal problems interfere with his work. If anything, knowing who he is he has redoubled his efforts in my division. I am sure that if the situation called for it, and if there was at least some neutrality to his promotion, he could easily fulfill the responsibilities of captain."

"If he survives, you mean," Haru interjected.

"He has no place on the battlefield as someone without even a ranked seat," Mayuri interjected.

"He earned a place from you. Isn't that right?" Haru looked at Soi Fon, whose eyes immediately turned resentful. "A gamble, wasn't it? On the worth of my word?"

"Shut up," she retorted.

"I don't have any qualms with letting him fight. He's strong enough to hold his own, and I've already shown that my word counts for something."

"Is it really wise, though?" Kyouraku asked.

"He's made up his mind, so whether it's wise or not, we can't do much to stop him. He's much like me in that respect." Something faint kindled in Haru's eyes as she spoke, something both hopeful and defiant. She wanted him to fight. And yet, at the same time, she wanted him to stay there in Soul Society where he could at least escape if Aizen launched a full-scale invasion. She pressed her lips together and finally heaved a sigh.

"If that's a problem, then I'll authorize him," Soi Fon stated.

"He is not a member of your division," Saijin reminded her.

"Then I will," Unohana said calmly. "Obviously, Hajime-kun has a proficiency in medicinal kidou that we only see once in a handful of centuries, but in the hands of someone with a fighting spirit, it doesn't matter. I will not be the one responsible for stopping him." Haru's eyes didn't move, but a smile sparked in them that she dared not show on her face. Byakuya caught it when she looked at him, and he nodded.

"It is my understanding that because we are three captains short of a true Gotei 13, the third through fifth seats of the tenth division have been given special sanctions to appear on the battlefield. One more will not hurt."

"I'd bring my whole division if I could, but they're the only three who don't get in my way," Zaraki retorted. "Let him go if he wants to. If he's weak, he'll die. It's that simple. I don't know why we've got to argue about this. It's just wasting time."

"Well said," Genryuusai interjected. "Have you all made arrangements, then?" One after another, formal documentation of the line of succession emerged. Miyake, whose brush remained on the page, staining it with ink where he had set it after Haru had first pulled hers free, made himself useful and collected them. "If there is nothing out of the ordinary in them, then we can adjourn this meeting."

"If I may," Hitsugaya interjected. Everyone in the room inwardly sighed. He glanced at Haru, who nodded slightly, and then turned back to the captain commander. "We've all drawn up plans for our own succession, but..." He paused for a moment. "Well, as someone in charge of strategizing, I have to ask whether you have done the same, and if so, what measures are in place?" It was such an unsettling question that it hung in the air for an odd handful of moments while everyone shifted. It was unfathomable, but it wasn't impossible. True, just like the rest of them, the captain commander could die. Miyake set his envelopes on the low table and knelt, waiting for his captain to speak.

"Of course I have made arrangements. I have a list of successors here." The envelope he withdrew was sealed and stamped at the seam. "If anything happens to me, then the successor will be chosen based on his or her ranking. I discussed this for hours with my vice-captain, my family advisors, and in some ways with all of you in very subtle ways. I believe I have been fair in my assignment. I have not let personal preferences or past records inhibit my clarity. If by some chance you come to resent me for my choice, then so be it."

"Not to question you, Yamamoto-soutaichou," Saijin noted, "but how can you be so sure that not everyone on that list will perish in battle?"

"Simple," he answered. "Because it is comprised solely of the names of every captain in this room." Everyone passed glances around, and he tapped his staff on the ground. "Meaning if even one of us survives, then there is hope of rebuilding. I have led Soul Society for over a thousand years, and through every fight and fault, I have directed many captains. You are people of honor and skill. Even now, in the face of war, I count myself as privileged to be in this room with all of you as I will to stand on the battlefield with you tomorrow. For all of our strategizing, I believe not all of us will survive, so you must do only one thing. Fight. Fight beside each other and for each other, not for the sake of the present, but for the future flickering in the distance." Nobody wanted to admit it. They all felt uneasy hearing him speak that way. Byakuya's eyes remained stone cold, but inside, he felt himself stirred up beyond all reason. He passed a glance to Haru, who acknowledged his uneasiness with a slow nod. He breathed a slow sigh and bowed his head.

"Hai," Byakuya murmured. Everyone else followed suit. They stood together, and Haru felt that thought skip through her mind like a stone. Her eyes gleamed, and she closed her fist.

"There is... one other thing." She spoke slowly, not out of hesitation, but because she was trying to formulate exactly how to word what she wanted to say. In the end, she opted for the most direct sentence. "About Aizen. He's mine." The determination in her eyes sparked as she said it, and Hitsugaya actually broke rank.

"Hold on a second! That wasn't part of the plan!"

"Do you think this is a debate? I didn't ask for your opinion."

"Well, you're going to hear it anyway! You aren't the only one here who's got a grudge against that bastard!"

"Maybe not, but I'm the only one in this room who knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that I can take him down."

"Fighting Aizen is suicide. He'll cut you up into so many pieces that I won't be able to make a specimen of you," Mayuri noted.

"I know I can do it." She smiled and challenged them with a confident look.

"Haru-kun, if this has anything to do with what transpired several days ago, then I suggest you put it out of conscious thought," Byakuya advised.

"What transpired several days ago was something I told you in confidence." She responded so quickly that it stung. In light of recent events, he had forgotten that in that room, their engagement was practically useless. She was a captain first, and she had more than enough authority to defend her right to that title. "I am well aware of the risks involved, but this is something only I can do."

"You don't have the power to fight him," Shunsui said.

"I never said I didn't."

"Yamashita Haru," Genryuusai said, punctuating her first name with extra sharpness. "I'm willing to overlook your statement as the flawed overconfidence of youth, but next time, that sort of thing will not be tolerated." She swallowed as she felt a trace of his immense reiatsu drift through the air, but her eyes never changed. She clenched her fists so tightly that she only half felt her fingernails digging into her palms.

"It's not overconfidence. It has to be me. That's all there is to it."

"Haru—"

"It's not like I couldn't have killed him in Hueco Mundo. And eleven days ago, I could have done it, too, but I hesitated. And because of that, he's still alive, and this will be the last time we all stand in this room together. This isn't my atonement. It's my responsibility. That's why it has to be me. And if anyone gets in my way, I will not hesitate to crack skulls."

"Haru-chan, you don't—" Ukitake said gently.

"You don't get it." Her eyes slid shut, and she drew a slow breath. "You can't understand what it means to have that man point a sword at you and tell you that you aren't worth the trouble of killing. I spent years believing that, not being able to escape it. Maybe part of me still believes it. But I think that same part of me..." She stared at her hand. "Is utterly terrified of just how powerful I really am." She extended her two fingers and thumb and smiled. "How often is it that the thing we fear most is not death or loss or powerlessness, but the capability to rise above all of that and then have to face the consequences of our own strength? But not anymore. Not for me. In the three days you locked Hajime in a prison cell and gambled on the truth of my word, I decided I was going to believe in this power and embrace the consequences of using it. If you try to stop me from doing that with your actions or your words, then you're no better than Aizen is." Her eyes chilled to two chips of amethyst, then glinted. The light froze their arguments before they could speak. The air remained tense for a long time, Hitsugaya seething, Byakuya nursing his wound, and all of a sudden, a wild laughter split the air. All eyes landed on the source, Zaraki Kenpachi, who had thrown his head back.

"Freaking fantastic! This scrawny kid says she can kick Aizen's ass, and recalling one instant where our blades crossed, I actually believe her! Hey! If you think you can live through that, take me on after you're done. Fighting you sounds fun."

"Zaraki-taichou, I have to ask you not to encourage her!" Ukitake interjected.

"Alright," she stated, her tone so even that everyone in the room immediately fell into shock, some more obvious than others. For some reason, his casual treatment of the situation relaxed her, and she smiled. "But don't expect me to go easy on you."

"Hah! I'd kill you if you let up even for an instant!" She gave a slight laugh, and the entire room erupted into a cacophony of objections.

_He's a homicidal maniac sometimes, driven only by the pleasure he finds in swinging his sword, but he's not a bad person. _She released her breath and examined her palms again, fading quietly into the background. _Seriously, do they have to argue every time I do something like this? Shouldn't they have come to expect it by now? _Haru glanced up as she heard the staff hammer against the ground and felt the reiatsu spark, and just like that, the silence was re-established.

"I absolutely will not allow this," Genryuusai said firmly. Haru's eyes flickered. "I will not allow you to do as you please." She managed to breathe and sent him a cutting glare of defiance. "Absolutely not." She didn't budge, not an inch. She felt his reiatsu crushing against her, but her knees refused to buckle. She focused on timing her breathing and on maintaining the equilibrium of her own reiatsu. "I admit that you have compelling reasons, but you are not the only one to—" He stopped, and Haru's eyes shot towards the door as it slowly slid open. One eye peered through it, then cleared so the owner of it appeared.

"Sorry for interrupting, but..."

"Hajime-kun," Unohana said softly, her countenance darkening slightly. "We are in a meeting."

"I know," he answered, raising his hands and waving them in apology. "But this can't wait." He glanced only briefly to Soi Fon and passed her a smile that said he'd told her so. His eyes then wandered to Haru, easily read everything she was feeling just by one trace of her reiatsu and by the light in her eyes, and pressed his hands together. "Haru, I need a favor."

"What is it?"

"Eh? You want me to ask now?"

"Yes. Quickly. So I can do whatever it is you want me to and finish the meeting."

"Are you sure?" The way he punctuated the sentence ground her nerves. He sounded hesitant, and patient, and all the same so certain of himself. She shot him a look, and he lifted his hands in apology. "It's really not something I should be asking in front of—"

"Just tell me," she interjected. Hajime's smile faded, and his eyes darkened slightly, as if he'd known she would react with that slight impatience she sometimes exhibited. The crisp ring of violet in the right was even clearer when he looked serious. A trace of his smile remained, but it only amplified the faint aura of determination sliding through his gaze.

"A garganta." She arched a brow. "Open one for me." The words settled in and threw an uneasy silence over every corner for the third time since their meeting began, but this one was more confused than the last. Obviously, they could imagine Haru fighting Aizen, even if they weren't as certain of her abilities as she was. And somehow, despite everything, they could all reason out Hajime's potential and could logically imagine him as a captain despite the social restraints holding him back. But that... that was something entirely impossible to place. All the same, Haru didn't react with shock or fury. Instead, pressed a hand to her head and heaved a sigh.

"Why the hell are you asking me for this now?"

"Hmm... I wonder..." His voice trailed off, and he smiled as a plan darted through his eyes.

"You seem to be just as screwy in the head as that imbecile half-breed," Mayuri stated. He was the first to regain himself, and for his insult, he earned two serious glares, one from Haru, one from her brother. "Mixed as her blood is, it's nearly impossible for a shinigami to open a garganta. After decades of extensive research, I haven't even been able to crack it. If I could get a decent hollow as a specimen, I might be able to, though." Hajime rolled his eyes and glanced at Haru. She pressed a hand to her face and lowered it, then gave a half smile.

"You'll have to excuse the delay. If I don't finish this, we won't get on with anything."

"There is nothing to get on with," Genryuusai stated. "You cannot and will not fight Aizen." Hajime didn't even bother biting back the laugh that escaped him.

"That's the part you take issue with?" he asked, shaking his head. "Honestly..."

"Just admit you can't do it."

"I never said I could." Haru's eyes challenged Mayuri's.

"Damn straight, you can't."

"But I never said I couldn't." Haru turned her palms and watched as the reiatsu burned off of them, lighting her already luminous eyes. "It's true that the first time I did it, I had to copy Aizen's reiatsu and use the hougyoku. But now..." Haru stared at her palm and sighed. "Now, it's my own power I'm using. That's all there is to it." She cut through the air with her arm, and at that spot, the air parted in a jagged line, revealing a door made of darkness that sucked every objection out of the room for the third time. Hajime folded his arms and let out a low whistle as he examined it. "You already saw me do it once. Why are you acting so impressed?"

"Because you're pretty gutsy doing something like that in this office."

"Says the one who interrupted a captain's meeting to ask me to do it." He smiled and adjusted his cloak slightly so it hung as tightly about him as the plot in his eyes. "Can you get through with just your right eye?"

"I should be fine," he answered, bowing. "My apologies for the interruption. I'll be going now." His steps were unshakably certain, although he could feel the tension in the room growing exponentially with every moment that slipped by, with every gentle tap of his sandal against the wood. When he was at the threshold, he paused and glanced back. He looked at Soi Fon first. She was annoyed with his brazen attitude, but other than that, she didn't seem to have a problem with what he was doing, any more than she dared have a problem with what Haru had done. "Actually, there was one more thing." Haru jolted as she felt fingers curl around her arm and give her a pull that threw her off balance. "You're coming, too."

"What?" She dug her heels in and jerked back, but he didn't let go. His eyes remained calm and calculating despite his easygoing smile. "Wait a minute... you can't just decide this sort of thing by yourself!"

"Why not? You do it all the time."

"Because I'm a captain! I have responsibilities and obligations and stuff!" Clearly, Hajime wasn't convinced by her argument. The bland look on his face said it all. That, and the fact that he still wouldn't let go. "If I go with you, I'd be casting those aside. Aniki..."

"Let's say you were incapacitated—"

"If you even think about it, I will crack your skull open."

"Haru-kun," Byakuya said, drawing her gaze like a magnet. "Go." She gave him a questioning look, then nodded and turned forward.

"My promise still stands. I will be there tomorrow. And if nothing else, then you should know by now that I do not break promises."

"It is well," Byakuya said before anyone else could argue. "Now, go." She gave a slight bow, half apology, half gratitude, and shot forward, practically dragging Hajime in after her. And before anyone could say anything else, the gap had closed and left nothing but empty air in its wake. _Go, so at the very least, I can say I protected your pride._

"Urahara-sama," Tessai said. "Guests."

* * *

><p>"More guests? But I've already seen Kurosaki-san and Hirako-san today. Who else is there?" Tensei stepped aside, and Haru passed him a slow wave. Hajime stood behind her, his eyes circling the room suspiciously. "Ah... Haru-sama. Nice to see you again. Have a seat. You, too, Tokazawa-san. Can't leave you standing there, can I?" He laughed behind his fan. "Tessai, please get them some tea."<p>

"Of course." They sat down and immediately wrapped themselves in a thick layer of thoughts, each independent of one another. Urahara examined them in complete silence. Neither of them spoke. They weren't looking away from each other, but they weren't looking at each other, either. He gave a laugh that jolted both of them.

"What's this? A family disagreement?"

"No," they answered, almost in the same moment, in the same calm tone.

Haru glanced at Hajime, then sighed and added, "A disagreement in the way things should be done, perhaps, but not an argument. Aniki..." Her voice trailed off. "What's this about? You interrupt a captain's meeting and all but drag me out of there, and here we are sitting in sensei's house without a care in the world. I thought you said it was urgent."

"I said it couldn't wait, and it couldn't. You want your shot at Aizen, and you know damn well you're not going to get it if you march onto the battlefield with them tomorrow." Hajime tipped his eyes calmly towards Haru, and she gave a slight nod of understanding, which Hajime followed with acrid laugh. "Kurotsuchi Mayuri... honestly, how the hell do you work with such a self-important bastard?"

"The same way I work with everyone else," she answered, touching her sword. "Lots and lots of anger management." He laughed again and lowered his head. "What are you thinking about?"

"It just crossed my mind that Yamamoto-soutaichou may regret putting you on that list now."

"Let him regret it," she retorted. "I'm not interested in that kind of position, anyway. The only reason I ascended to the rank of captain was so I could protect Ichigo, and because something in me changed that made me feel like I should step up." Haru's eyes move towards her teacher, who was simply observing them from behind his fan, obviously grinning like mad. Even if his mouth wasn't visible, his eyes were. "You look amused."

"Oh, I'm just studying your interactions. Even though haven't known the truth for long, they're quite natural."

"Why wouldn't they be?"

"Well, it usually takes you a while to warm up to people."

"I've known Hajime for months. Besides, he's family, so it's different." She watched as Tessai served tea, resting her head on the table and watching it fall so easily into the cup. "Neh, sensei... is Shinji-san really not going to be there tomorrow?" Urahara closed his fan.

"Is that what you're worried about?"

"That's not the only thing," she said faintly. Hajime's eyes shifted, and Urahara opened his fan again.

"Looks like it's a secret among family."

"Don't say it like that, you damn pervert. Besides, you already know the other bit." He stared at her for a long moment and watched him extract the hougyoku from his sleeve, the same decoy she had left in Hueco Mundo, and rested it on the table. She lowered her head in silent apology, and Hajime swallowed his misgivings.

"It wasn't your fault." She gave a slight laugh. "I'm serious. How could you have known?"

"I had a chance to stop it. Instead, I chose to pursue my own power, independently of the hougyoku and its will. Before I even touched that power, the damage had already been done. Because of that, people will probably die tomorrow on the end of Aizen's sword, the same people I was standing with not more than an hour ago." She lifted her eyes. "And although I am fully confident that I can beat Aizen with the powers I have now, I am not so certain of defeating any enhancements he may wish for from the hougyoku."

"Please. Just because he has it doesn't mean he can use it," Urahara stated, waving his fan and giving Haru a serious look. "Without even touching it, you managed to use it before, right? What's to say that your will isn't stronger than Aizen's now?"

"I don't doubt that it is," she answered. "But I can't shake the feeling that if I don't re-establish a physical connection, he might gain control over it." A faint smile swept over her face. "Maybe you've noticed it. Under the circumstances, I'd be going out of my wits with rage, but here I am, sitting calmly around and waiting for the devil himself to knock down my front door. I'm not scared. I'm restless. That's all." Her eyes glinted. "I can't help but wonder if I'll lose them entirely before the end of things, these feelings, and if their preservation had anything to do with the hougyoku." Hajime shifted slightly and let out a sigh. "Sometimes I think, maybe I should have let you stop me. Maybe I should have turned back. But then I remember... the reason I went so far." Hajime clenched his fist, and the crack of one of his knuckles ruptured the silence in between her words. "Tomorrow, my first priority will be retrieving the hougyoku, or at least making sure Aizen won't be able to use it."

"If you're only doing that to take responsibility, then why bother?"

"I'm doing it so you don't have to." Hajime's eyes snapped to her. "Unless you plan on revealing everything you're capable of tomorrow, in which case you're more than welcome to it."

"Hold on just a minute—"

"Aniki," Haru said firmly, sipping her tea and blowing some of the steam off of its surface.

"What makes you think I could even fight Aizen?"

"Because when I fought you before, I heard exactly what you were telling me." She smiled and passed him a calm look. "I'm interested to see what you're capable of." He hunched over with a slight laugh and pushed his hair out of his face.

_The way she reads me so easily sometimes... it's a wonder she doesn't have that gift, but given what she does have, she doesn't really need it. _He slowly got up, and only remembered before walking out to excuse himself, reassuring them that he would be back. _A sword with the name of a god, a technique that is a triplicate of triplicates, and... that power... _He smiled and nearly lost his breath when the wind of winter hit him. The sunlight seared his eyes, but they soon adjusted, and his thoughts fell right back into place. _The power to defy fate. But still... _His breath rose as mist on the air, and his hand fell against the dagger hidden away in his uniform. _Still, although it may match this, it cannot compare to it. _He lifted his eyes to the sky and drew a slow breath.

_We feel it with our bodies, but we cannot hold it into our hands._ _We can gaze into its face, but it doesn't have eyes to look back._ Inside of him, he felt some unseen hand shift. When had he first noticed the soft tapping sound, like his heart was counting seconds?

He couldn't help but smile from the amusement sweeping over him, not because of any event that had just occurred, but because he suddenly found himself craving the burn of hot sake.

* * *

><p>Neither Hinamori nor Takumi were surprised to hear that their captain had vanished in the middle of a captain's meeting, and into a garganta she had opened, no less. And although he shouldn't have been surprised in the least over Hajime's involvement, he couldn't help but feel a twinge of something when Hitsugaya spoke the name. Even now, as he reclined on his back in the middle of his own floor, half of his body under the kotatsu, his arms folded behind his head, his eyes only half closed, he could feel it stirring within him.<p>

That morning, he had been too wrapped up in his emotions to think about it. The feeling of inevitable parting, the sense that he was not strong enough, the agony of having to breathe the true magnitude of his feelings only to let them go... it all got muddled up so he couldn't even think straight, and all over those words. _We are the past. _He didn't like the thought of letting go or being let go. He liked those notions much less than the prospect of battle. He rested a hand on his chest just to ascertain that his heart was still beating and remembered, once again, that unsettling feeling as his weapon slid right through that knife. _When that happened, I doubted my sight for the first time in a long time. But that was no illusion. My lance passed through that weapon, and then, he cut me with it. _He pushed his haori off of his shoulder and touched the wound on his skin. _That is definitely... no ordinary zanpakutoh._

Just then, he heard his sister calling his name, but he made no move to change his position. Instead, he watched her pass by the room once, then come back and push the door open. "Hey, what are you doing?"

"Thinking," he answered, staring at her from his viewpoint on the floor, his fingers still resting against his old wound. She marched across the floor and sat down across from him and started pouring herself a cup of tea. "Mari-onee..."

"Huh?" He gave a faint smile and listened to the faint sound of the tea pot resting on the table.

"What are we fighting for?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" she demanded, practically spilling her cup. She juggled it for a moment, then snatched it and took a long drink. Takumi shut his eyes.

"Just thinking. If someone doesn't know why they're fighting, can they ever really win a battle?"

"What does it matter? The winner's the last one standing."

"I know," he answered. "But I can't understand him."

"Him?"

"Hajime." His name hadn't come up between them in a long time, not since before he revealed himself. "I can't understand what winning is to him. I mean, we've been best friends for years. Still... it's all really hazy. I don't feel like I've ever really understood him." He pressed a hand over his eye and drew a slow breath. "That day he nearly took my eye... he never once said anything about winning. He had me on my knees and bleeding, my head in blinding knots, and it would have ended there if I had let go of my sword, but I couldn't, and he wouldn't. In the end, I think he let me win. Last night, too..." His eyes sank half shut, and he breathed a sigh. "I'd say winning doesn't matter to him, but after he fought taichou... something tells me he was looking for a victory there, and he got it in his own way. But with me... it's like he doesn't feel like he has to beat me. Like it doesn't matter at all."

"That's serious talk for a kid brother."

"He's my best friend, so of course I have to think about that kind of thing." He glanced up at his sister and smiled. "Mari-onee... in some other life, I always wonder if we all could have been happy. But that sort of thing never really happens, does it? Not everyone can be happy, and even those who are happy can't be happy all the time."

"Oi..."

"Do you think he was happy, Mari-onee?" Takumi's eyes slid shut, and when he looked up again, his eyes were distant, as if he were living in some other place. "Do you think... that he ever had a truly happy moment in his life? Because if I let him die before he experienced that, I could never forgive myself." The lustrous film of tears blurred his vision, and when he blinked, they seeped from his eyes, but his face never changed. Mari touched his face, and his eyes wandered to hers.

"I can't say whether or not he was happy, but ask yourself... does he have regrets?" Takumi's face changed to something quizzical as she continued. "Does he have aspirations? Is there something that drives him? Has he ever cried the tears of someone truly in despair?" His mouth fell open slightly as his mind shot right back to Urahara's house. After being picked up and carried out, he lost himself for five full minutes. Then, with nothing more than an apology, he fell silent and thoughtful, and with the aura he was giving off, Takumi could do nothing but stare at his own hands. "If those things are true," Mari continued, drying his face with her sleeve, "then he must have been happy. You need one to feel the other after all." Takumi drew a slow breath, then covered his eyes with his arm as the relief that swept over him tore his composure to shreds.

* * *

><p>Haru pushed the door open and stepped into the moonlight. The night was dead silent, and the stars overhead flickered in turns as if shivering against the crisp air. Haru didn't shudder even as the cold air struck her. She simply walked forward, her feet making no sound as she tread, and slid the door shut behind her. Her breath drifted upwards as she strode forward, resting a hand on her sword. <em>Suzaku.<em>

_Yes, Haru-sama. I am with you. _She paused just long enough to see Urahara peering at her from the door. For a long time, they stared at each other, his gray eyes glinting, but for once, his words failed him. He remained silent. He simply stared at her. She smiled her silent farewell, and then, she turned away, her haori fluttering behind her. _Are you sure you want to leave without saying good-bye?_

_I'll see him again on the battlefield, _she answered, staring at her palm. _I was just wondering... how that sort of thing is going to affect us._

_Given your current state, you shouldn't really feel it._

_I don't expect to feel it much. Still, it's unlikely that I won't feel it at all. _Her eyes filled with moonlight, and she slowly sighed. _I will fight until the last drop of blood in my veins is spent and I turn to dust, not to kill, but to protect. More than anything else, that is what gives my life meaning. _She shot along the empty streets until she met a lone figure, who was staring her way as if expecting her approach. She drew a slow breath and exhaled. Then, she looked up at him with sparks of determination practically radiating off of her. "I'm going to ask you one more time, Hajime. Are you sure this is what you want to do?"

"It's what I must do," he answered, his right eye noticeably violet even in the darkness of night. She gave him a solemn look and sighed again. "It's unnatural, how I want to do this as some sort of duty. Normally, this is the kind of thing I'd do for kicks in Rukongai." He gave a slight laugh and tipped his head skyward. "But... I guess things change. Or maybe I've changed after all."

"Aniki—" Before she could say anything else, she felt his arms close around her. It was his way, without saying anything at all, that he would protect her. She felt that desire stirring inside of him and felt the calm smile sweep over her face. Her eyes slowly sank shut, and for a moment, the world itself had been washed away. Somehow, it felt as if time itself had stopped moving, but after an instant, it shuddered and crawled forward again. As he pulled away, he rested his hands on her shoulders and bowed his head.

"Souka... now I understand it. The thing I wanted most wasn't power or glory. I don't want to be a hero or a soldier. I'm not even sure how strong my desire is to protect. But in the end of things, I want to be the kind of friend worth protecting, and the kind of brother worth protecting. It's selfish, that kind of drive. But maybe... it's just the kind of thing that will pull me through in the end." Haru glanced at his hand and realized he had extended his pinky. She let one drop of laughter escape her and immediately covered her mouth to stop from laughing more at his puzzled expression. "What? Isn't this sort of thing normal?"

"Maybe for kids," she answered.

"This isn't what you think." Puzzled, she extended her finger and wrapped it around his, and she couldn't help but notice the feeling of kidou seeping out of it. "Look," he said, and when they drew apart, there seemed to be some thin filament connecting them. After she blinked again, the sight of it was gone, but the sensation remained. "We are tied together by a thread of fate. You'll feel it go slack if I die. Same goes for me if you die. So, until I feel death cut that line, I won't give up. I'll keep fighting. For you, for Takumi, for myself. I'll fight for all those things, and for the future that lies beyond this dark cloud of war that no sight can penetrate." She nodded slightly and smiled.

"Then, I'll promise to do the same." He gave her a startled look, and she smiled. "And even then, I won't give up, not even if my bones are torn asunder." The calm breeze swept around them, and Hajime whirled around as they were joined by a third figure, one who landed in a crouch and slowly stood up, teal eyes glinting, face split by a grin.

"Oi, Haru... we said we'd be his escorts. Shouldn't we be doing some escorting right about now?"

"As you say, Grimmjow-san," she answered, touching both of her weapons and making some minor adjustment to the cross on her wrist. "Shall I open the door, or shall you?"

But even as Haru said it, she realized it was pointless. Regardless of who opened that door, she would walk through it, and the instant it closed would be the last time she breathed the air as someone untouched by the madness and mayhem of war.

As soon as she crept through the pitch black opening, she felt something unsettling stir inside of her. "Haru," Grimmjow said. "What's up?"

"Huh? Oh, nothing," she answered, glancing down to realize she had for some reason lifted her hand to her heart. She kept her eyes on her hand as she stepped forward, then took one glance back to watch the moon be swallowed up. She couldn't shake the feeling that they were not the only ones moving, even though it was considerably early. However, when she glanced to her brother, and to Grimmjow, they both seemed absolutely fine. Hajime hadn't even looked back, as if he feared one glimpse of that world from inside the darkness would turn it to pillars of salt.

"Come on," Hajime said, finally looking back and extending a hand. "I don't know where I'm going, and I'm not comfortable moving in here yet." As he moved his fingers, she saw the thin silver thread flicker between them, and for some reason beyond her, she found it comforting to know that even apart, they would be connected. She smiled and reached for him, but just before their fingers touched, her hand shot instead to her sword and her eyes cut across the darkness.

They were not alone.

* * *

><p>I know what you're probably thinking. "Stupid jerkface TC-san, why would you make us wait for so (expletives) long and give us a cliffhanger? Do you have no soul?"<p>

The answer is no, I don't. I am pure evil. =3

As a consolation prize, have a Japanese lesson!

Gomen: An apology, of pretty regular formality.

Hai: Yes

Souka: I see

And as another consolation prize, chapter 23 should be up soonish. Until then, happy reading!


	23. Chapter 23: Suspension

A/N: Hello again! Turtlechow here. Life is chaotic, but I managed to finish editing this chapter. I realize I only have 12 days left to actually finish posting it if I want to meet my monthly goal, and let me tell you... the honest truth... this fanfic has been untouched for about six months, but even then, my writing style has changed a lot. So, reading this and fixing it is like pulling teeth, but I shall continue because I want what few remaining readers I have to finish it.

Props to my long-time reviewer, animelover56348, and to everyone who started from the first chapter of KTT and somehow managed to get through the sh!tstorm of Japanese and bad syntax to here.

And... here goes.

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 23: Suspension<em>

The world hung momentarily suspended between night and day. The stars flickered in wait, and those who dwelled below slept, entirely unaware of any change that had occurred, of any major difference that day would make. The sun seemed to realize it, though. As it peered over the horizon, it painted the sky a blood red color, fringing it with oranges and yellows as a backdrop for almost violent purple clouds. Slowly, the battlefield dulled to a pale blue. The sun began another revolution, aware and helpless to prevent that same sky from splitting open and an army from surfacing from that void.

"Well, ain't this a pleasant surprise?" Ichimaru said as he surveyed the silence of his surroundings. They could push their plans forward with considerable speed, given the lack of resistance. It was only a matter of time before the overthrow was complete.

"Aizen-sama," Tousen murmured in a low voice. It was then that they all felt it, whether through hollow instinct or through some unnamable force that connected them to the world they were set on destroying. The air had an artificial feel to it. Below was Karakura, and although it was well past dawn, no one had stirred. The streets were deserted. The sky overhead felt genuine enough, and although the streets below looked exactly like they always had when Aizen or someone had been surveying them, there was just something amiss.

"That is far enough," said a voice they knew well. It carried the same authority, but none of them submitted to its influence. Ichimaru grinned and gave one of his chuckles.

"Looks like she figured it out after all, eh?" he asked, his grin spreading across his face as captain after captain appeared. "There's even a welcomin' party."

"Aizen-sama, allow me the honor of cutting them down in your name."

"Not yet, Kaname," Aizen said. It was the first time his lips had split, and when they did, he tasted cold winter air and blood-tainted memories. He smiled. He had always had great fortune on that day in the past, so this one couldn't be any different. The espada stirred but didn't attack. They felt the will of Aizen practically barring them back. He skimmed the crowd of officers that had appeared, but the face he most wanted to see was absent. "So, she will try to stop even that? She will not succeed," he murmured, more to himself than anyone else. His hand flexed and started moving skyward, and the tension between black and white mounted. The air between them buzzed with thoughts: thoughts of Frost, thoughts of the game, thoughts of camaraderie and friendship and the looming prospect of mourning and rebuilding, the possibility that they might not survive at all. Aizen didn't know these thoughts, but he had to bite back a laugh when he saw them all focusing so hard on him.

All of that stopped when the wind shifted.

He wasn't sure what drew his eyes to the boy with one red eye, the boy Ulquiorra had once revealed to him as Haru's hand chosen vice-captain, but the moment he rested his gaze on him, the smile on his face faltered. He was standing with his feet parted and his shoulders squared, one eye filled with the blue of the sky, the other with the red tint of blood, and both full of focus on the war that would erupt between them at any moment. But the most striking thing was his hand, elevated towards the clouds hanging overhead, his index and middle fingers raised, his thumb extended, and his posture entirely steady.

In those eyes, there was something divine that no amount of darkness could diminish.

"Kaname," he said calmly.

"Yes, Aizen-sama?" He motioned with his gaze.

"Bring me that boy's head."

"With pleasure," Tousen answered.

Without being prompted, Fujiwara Takumi dropped his hand and drew his sword.

Around them, the air had fallen still, as if the sun itself was holding its breath in anticipation, waiting to witness the folly of those whom battle would try to make heroes—some in death, others in life.

But there were places that sun could not look where the battle had already begun.

In the dark void between worlds, hours before dawn, Haru's hand fell to her sword and her eyes turned. She should have known it wouldn't be so easy. But when she saw Ulquiorra Schiffer standing there with his blank eyes and his calm face, it stirred something in her that she had forgotten during her intensive training. In the back of her mouth, she already tasted it, and in her ears, she already heard it. The irony taste of blood, the sound of swords clashing. And deep within her heart, she felt her bruised pride quaking. The things that normally would have driven her forward instead brought her to a grinding halt. They sized each other up across the darkness, her face firm, her hand unwavering. Her foot moved slightly, but she didn't move to attack, nor did Ulquiorra reach for his sword.

_This is the one... who nearly murdered me on my way out of Hueco Mundo. The same one who ran my third seat through as if it were nothing. And the one who, without my intervention, would have killed Grimmjow-san and who knows who else. And here I am, face to face with him, and for some unfathomable reason, I cannot move. _Her grip tightened and her jaw locked. _Move. Move. Move..._

Before she could, a figure shot past her, and the sound of swords broke her paralysis. "Go!"

"What? Grimmjow-san, what are you doing?"

"I'm settling my debt to you!" She heard their reiatsu grinding against each other and let her mouth hang open. "Listen. You've got a family. You've got comrades. But above all that, you've got a duty to fulfill." The gears in Haru's memory turned, and she suddenly recalled her true intention for being there. "I don't know how long I can hold him off. And it doesn't matter. I just need you to promise me you can finish things." Ulquiorra's face melted to shock as Grimmjow blocked the blow that was meant to sever his head from his shoulders. Haru's eyes grew hard with understanding, and before Hajime could say anything, she had grabbed his hand and shot into the darkness, leaving Grimmjow behind to deal with the cuatra. Hajime, knowing full well how things would play out, gave the pair one last glance before flashing away with her.

After they ran for a time (Hajime counted the beats of his heart as two hundred and four), she swayed to a stop and dropped his arm. She was entirely out of breath, mainly because her thoughts were still with Grimmjow, and because she had run so quickly to escape. Her hand was trembling, and as she stood, she swayed slightly. Hajime watched her with all the calm placidity of a neutral third party, but he felt the trace of color playing across his right eye and lifted his hand to cover it. "I knew it." Her voice was so even that he couldn't stop his eyes from shooting open. "I knew it from the first. This wouldn't be easy, but we were the only ones who can do it." She slowly turned to him, her face lit with a faint smile framed with tears. "And part of me knew that if we did this together, a sacrifice would have to be made. But I'm selfish, and devoted only to my pride. I knew that to ensure everything, I would have to give up my right to protect him. I would have to _let _Ulquiorra-san kill Grimmjow-san and scar my pride beyond repair. And in the end, I will have to kill him."

"He's not just doing this for you, you know," Hajime stated. Haru raised a brow as he set a hand on her shoulder, his fingers tightening slightly. "He drew his sword knowing full well what he was doing. Whether or not he survives depends not on numbers but on timing, as many things do." He drew a slow breath and turned his head to the ceiling of darkness hanging above him. "True, his desire to protect you drove him to act, but underlying that was his own determination to prove to himself that he was worthy of that task."

"I don't understand," she murmured, shaking her head, but Hajime held her, gently drying her face with the ends of his cloak and blanketing her in a gentle smile that seemed to have some genuineness to it. "Why does he have to prove anything? I asked him to protect me. That should be enough."

"Maybe you aren't aware of this, and perhaps I shouldn't be saying anything, but... you are perhaps the most powerful one on the battlefield." Her face turned to shock and her eyes cut away.

"Nonsense."

"I'm serious. It's true that your reiatsu is not the most powerful, nor is your sword. I'm fairly confident in saying that with kidou alone, I could beat you twenty times before you could even blink. Soi Fon-taichou's shunpo is incomparably faster than yours. I should know. She threw me around enough to teach me that lesson. Moreover, you are self-sacrificing to a fault. It's your pride that makes you so. If anyone went after your comrades, you'd stand between them and take the blow without a second thought. But those things are merely details." Hajime rested his chin against her shoulder and spoke into her ear. "You are the only one on either side... with a will strong enough to cast yourself lower than death." Haru's eyes snapped open as he drew away with that same smile on his face, and his fingers slid away from her shoulder. "I feel them a bit farther up, so I'm going."

"What?" she asked.

"I told you, didn't I?" His eyes lit up, and the violet in them practically glowed as he raised his hand to her, his thumb and first two fingers extended. "His survival depends on timing. As for me, I have my own duty to fulfill." Haru watched him take a handful of paces away, his fingers still extended.

"Wait." With that one word, he paused. "If you survive, if you make it out of this void alive..." His head tipped backwards, his one visible eye lit with interest. "I want you to deliver a message." He studied her hand and her eyes, and in the silence between them, he picked out her words and smiled. "Don't forget."

"Don't worry," he murmured. "I won't." Before he could turn away, he felt her reiatsu disappear and smiled, pacing forward slowly. _Timing_, he said to himself, his steps echoing across the emptiness. _That sort of thing has saved her before. Someone doesn't just get lucky that many times. They make it happen. _He gave a slight laugh and drew his sword, his feet not once straying from their path. _So, that is what it means to be one who defies fate... _He pulled his knife out and shut his eyes, knowing that he wouldn't drop because his concentration remained fixed. _You are the only person in the world with that kind of power. Fortunately, I have other ways of making luck. _His eyes slowly slid open and he swung his sword, filling the air with blood and a death cry. _This darkness inside of me... _He shifted his weight and dodged a cero, then set his feet firmly against the darkness and studied his opponents. The eyes were uncountable, and the hunger hanging in the air almost made his heart stop beating, not because he was afraid of dying.

It took him back to an earlier time in his life, a time when days were filled with endless struggle, and nights dyed red with the blood of those who no longer had enough heart left to suffer. Everything was a cold rain or a blistering sun. There was no comfort in that world or time. He didn't even have a name, only something that people called him: the child of death, Shinoko, who wielded a knife that would only cut flesh, and who could inflict mortal wounds so quietly that the victim oftentimes didn't know until blood spilled from their throat. Back then, he just hadn't listened to the faint voice always whispering in his ear. But now, now that he had tasted life and love, now that he had trained his body and mind, now that he had seen the other side of suffering, he could hear the words plain as day. He moved his foot back and pivoted it, then yanked the dagger out and shot forward, the ends of his cloak flying behind his heels, his heart beating steadily, and his eyes filled with an eerie light akin to bloodlust.

_This darkness inside of me... does have a name. And before I draw my last breath, I will call that name to the heavens so that it will never be forgotten._

* * *

><p>The stillness of the void between worlds quaked beneath the pressure of not one but two battles, one a systematic one-on-uncountable duel between a shinigami and a hoard of starving hollow, the other between two espada. Their cero occasionally punctured the darkness and threw more. A feline figure darted about, followed closely by black wings and a glowing lance, but any bystander would have been unable to distinguish the pursuer from the pursued. At last, Grimmjow slipped past that glowing point and threw a punch at his opponent, which threw him further into darkness. However, Ulquiorra skidded across it and quickly exacted a counterattack that was only nearly successful. Grimmjow dodged the lance by a hair's breadth, spinning his body and aiming a kick for Ulquiorra's shoulder. He blocked and fired a cero, which miraculously hit nothing, and thrust the lance at his opponent. No matter how many times he threw Grimmjow back, he always bolted forward again, ignoring whatever wound had been inflicted and guarding it while he healed.<p>

A particularly forceful attack threw Grimmjow backwards and left him gasping for air. Ulquiorra studied him with the same blank look. "What the hell's your problem?" Grimmjow said, grinning and spitting the blood out of the side of his mouth, then steadying himself. "Come at me, you bastard!" Ulquiorra didn't move. Logically, the sexta shouldn't have been able to follow his moves, let alone block them. Yet, here he was, doing exactly those things, as he had only clumsily and inconsistently done in their last confrontation. They had fought so recently, and yet now, there was such a huge difference in his power. He continued contemplating this as he watched Grimmjow block the lance with his hand and grit his teeth in pain before thrusting his foot towards Ulquiorra's head. He tilted his head and dodged, then raised a hand to fire a cero. Grimmjow caught it and fired his own before Ulquiorra could release his attack.

"I can't fathom how you managed to get so strong since last time. I can only assume it was that girl." He paused. "Are you trying to protect her?"

"So what if I am?"

"She is a shinigami," he answered coolly.

"So what?" he shouted, firing a cero that Ulquiorra dodged. As the light faded, a deep understanding pierced whatever soul he had left. _I get it now. I finally get it. _He blocked the next blow and shot into the darkness again, pursued by his opponent. _I finally freakin' get it, after all this time… I got addicted to it. Fighting under the moon with her… _Grimmjow slashed at the front of Ulquiorra's uniform, roaring as he shot forward and made another attempt at the cuatra's life. _There're a lot of times in my life when I was nothing more than a hollow, but she made me feel like something else. She made me feel like I could escape it… she made me escape it. _His pupils widened slightly so he could better see in the darkness, and he managed to dart around the next blow, turning through the air and landing a short distance away in a crouch.

"This level will not be enough." Ulquiorra fired a cero without a word, and Grimmjow dodged, feeling the heat of it singe his arm and gritting his teeth.

_The feeling she made me experience all those times... it was human. Like I could do anything, and at the same time nothing. Like I couldn't live forever. Like every second of my existence had meaning. _He blocked the lance with his claws and shoved his foot against the cuatra's chest, then scurried back and shot forward again. _And if I could taste that feeling one more time, if I could feel her sword strike mine, that'd be enough. _Ulquiorra's counterattack caught the side of his face. He twisted and righted himself, dodged the next there attacks. The fourth knocked him backwards. The fifth, a cero oscura, was inescapably close. _Even coming into this fight, I knew I couldn't win. Instinct told me that, and instinct drove me forward. _He thought back to the recent past. _Why... why is it that I don't feel any regret dying for her? _That was the limit of his understanding. He closed his eyes and grinned. _Guess it doesn't really matter in the end. _That only pissed him off more. He gritted his teeth and aimed his own cero, but before he could fire, everything around him turned to blinding silver. He shielded his eyes and watched as the blow intended to kill him was devoured by a force that, having fulfilled its hunger, fizzled out. As his vision came back, he realized that between them was a figure with glowing bands on her arms and an aura that terrified him more than anything ever had.

"You're strong enough."

"What?" he demanded.

"You're strong enough to protect me. You don't have to prove anything. You've always been strong enough, ever since I first met you." As she spoke those words, he could hear the smile in her voice. "So... don't you dare get yourself killed for me. Got it? I told you I'd make you king. I promised. If you die, then I can't do anything for you." She flicked her blade and blocked Ulquiorra's lance, then shoved him back. "And as for you..." Haru walked forward and blocked the next blow with the same movement, calm and precise. "You have the gall to point that sword at someone else whose life I value? Do you really want to die that badly?" They exchanged blows with dizzying speed, Haru always one step ahead of Ulquiorra. Grimmjow tried to follow them while recovering, but his eyes just couldn't keep up. He couldn't tell which of them was faster or stronger. He just felt the air filled with the crushing pressure of battle.

Ulquiorra drove his spear forward into empty air. His eyes shot open, and slowly, he turned one over his shoulder. "Do it now!" Grimmjow yelled, but his words were needless. Her sword had already started moving. Before he could process what was happening, she vanished again and reappeared, and this time, his skin was covered in wounds. He let out a slight noise as blood dripped form them and staggered, but he didn't fall, not even when Haru turned back to him, eyes still glinting, sword and Seele edged with blood. A moment passed, and suddenly, her face showed a trace of discontent. The light on the edge of her sword quivered slightly as she watched how fast he healed.

"You," he said in a low voice as the last of his wounds disappeared, "are a dangerous woman." She slammed her sword against the lance that shot forward to impale her and felt her feet slide back. She parried the next four blows and shoved the fifth one upwards, then thrust her foot against his jaw and turned in the air, landing in a crouch and shooting forward again. She moved without desperation and fear; there was only an urgent determination. He caught both of her blades with his lance and kept his arms perfectly steady. "Still," he said in a low tone. "You lack the eyes to see futility."

What happened next threw everything into a chaotic silence. He vanished from view, and she turned to meet him, but not fast enough. Before she could parry, he drove the tip of his weapon through her right shoulder, drawing one short agonized cry to her lips. He suspended her over the abyss below, watching her expression twist in pain, watching her begin to writhe and scream, and he would have cast her down if not for the memory of the traitor to whom he now turned his eyes. His emerald eyes pierced Grimmjow for a moment, and then, through his blade, he felt Haru's power shift. She sealed her Seele and grabbed his weapon with her bare hands, ignoring the pain of touching it. "You leave him out of this," she managed, clutching it tighter and glaring at him with one unchanging eye. Slowly, her other opened. "He has nothing to do with it." She wasn't strong enough to hold on. She let out another cry of pain as he twisted his weapon and flung her, and when she slammed against Grimmjow, who only clumsily caught her, her eyes shot open again.

"You may move like a hollow, but you are still undeniably shinigami. Even if you cut me, my regenerative powers are fast enough to compensate, but your wounds will linger and slow you down. Face it: even if you defeat me, that hole in your shoulder will cripple your abilities and your stamina. You cannot win." The words stilled her entirely for a moment, almost as if she were paralyzed. Her eyes shifted away from Ulquiorra and up to the espada who currently had one arm slung beneath her knees and the other behind her shoulders, his wrist dangerously close to the mark on her back, and she gritted her teeth.

"You're wrong." She murmured it and drew a slow breath, turning her eyes to Grimmjow. "Put me down." His pupils narrowed, and he gave her a questioning look. "It's fine."

"But—"

"I said it's fine."

"You had your chance. You obviously can't handle him."

"I can handle him fine," she answered calmly, "and I will if you put me down."

"Demo!"

"Damn it all! I said put me down!"

"Like hell!" Haru slammed her zanpakutoh into its sheath and took a swing at his head, causing him to let go of her rather suddenly and withdraw a few steps. Haru twisted and managed to land on one foot, sinking slowly into a crouch and pressing the fist clenched around her weapon to her shoulder. First, she passed Grimmjow a look of warning. Then, slowly, she stood with a single stagger and took her stance, tightening her grip on Suzaku as the sheath blackened.

"You still think you can beat me?" Haru's eyes spoke for her. They were locked on her opponent, faded to a frighteningly serious equilibrium with an occasional silver light rippling across them. "Then perhaps I should teach you..." She arched a brow and felt his reiatsu shift. "The meaning of futility." Her stance never changed, not even when his reiatsu blackened and practically drowned her. Grimmjow appeared beside her, crouching and growling lowly, his tail flicking back and forth as he tried to process what was happening. She wasn't sure how much time passed, but finally, the darkness peeled away and unveiled something so inhuman that she felt shock pierce the center of her being. "Resurrección: segunda etapa."

"Second?" Grimmjow echoed in disbelief. His tail flicked through the air, and his ebony wings fanned out behind him, visible in the darkness only because of the green reiatsu tracing his outline.

"I'm the only espada in Hueco Mundo capable of this second release. Not even Aizen-sama has seen me in this form." He studied Haru for a moment. "Having witnessed true despair with your own eyes, you cannot possibly be as confident as before." Grimmjow glanced at Haru for a moment, then pivoted his head to give her a closer look. Her eyes were still on Ulquiorra. They had not changed. If anything, the light in them seemed brighter.

"Haru..." She blinked and lifted a hand to her face, then slowly drew it away and felt the tears between her fingers. Then, she smiled and bowed her head.

"Souka. That must be it." She lifted her eyes without bothering to clean her face. Some of her tears dripped onto her sword. "The truth is, I've felt like this once before."

"That is impossible."

"It is entirely possible." Haru placed one foot behind the other and stared at him. "And entirely natural, if you are human, to stand over a corpse you had no capability to protect, to be backed against a wall by the man who took that person out of your life, and to feel those words lodge deeper in your soul than any weapon could until they are all you can hear in the silence." The light in her eyes sudden stilled, and her smile faded. "The hatred I felt in that moment was so intense, I could taste my desire for revenge. That is what Suzaku is: vengeance, born of despair, become pride. Tell me, would they have promoted me to captain if my weapon didn't have a second form as well?" She flicked her hand across it, and white flames appeared so suddenly that Grimmjow withdrew several steps, afraid that her reiatsu would singe him. It stayed close to her, though, not burning through the darkness or crushing it but simply melding into it, and when it cleared, Haru's stance had changed a bit to accommodate the change in form. "Bankai: Tenraihoshi Suzaku." The ends of her sash swayed still, and she slowly tilted her head back. "Grimmjow-san." He couldn't even respond, the look on her face was so intense. "I still hold my own pride more important than anything else, but I understand that you have a pride of your own to uphold." She smiled and studied her opponent for a moment. "Fight with me."

He wasn't sure what caused him to step forward and take his ready stance, if it was something in Haru's voice or manner, or if it was the overwhelming surge of joy he felt in being acknowledged.

When Ulquiorra moved, it was with an agility neither of them expected. Haru stepped in front and blocked his claws with her sword, but his tail immediately smashed against her face. Before Ulquiorra could attack again, Grimmjow fired a cero that his opponent dodged. He stepped around the first attack. The second fell squarely against his jaw. The cuatra grabbed him around the throat, and just as the pressure began to make him dizzy, it all of a sudden faded. He felt blood on his face and looked up to see that Haru had effectively cut off his arm, which just as quickly regenerated. Her eyes singed Ulquiorra from across the space that separated them. Her instinct told her to attack, but her rational thoughts held her back. _He healed so quickly. How can I defeat someone like that?_

_The same way you defeated the quinta, _Suzaku answered. _Look for an opening and take it. _She staggered as she blocked his claws again, dodging those that attempted to penetrate her shoulder again. The cero he fired at close range dissolved as she sliced upwards. By then, Grimmjow had come to deliver a kick, but Ulquiorra blocked him easily. Without a moment's hesitation, Haru drew back the string and fired a white arrow into his side, then threw her injured shoulder against Grimmjow and fired the black one. The moment they connected, the air ignited, and she flashed away, the sexta landing next to her in a crouch.

"Are you trying to get me killed? Warn a guy, will you?" he roared.

"Sorry. I thought your instinct would tell you I was up to something ruthless. I'll be sure to warn you next time, though." He passed her a grin as she turned her head, and he caught a comforting glimpse of genuineness in her smile. Her grip changed and knocked against something, but the force it released consumed everything in a white-green haze. Grimmjow shielded his eyes and shot backwards, and because of their position, Haru took what was left of the blow. Once the reiatsu cleared, she staggered forward and drew a gasping breath, tasting blood in the back of her mouth, listening to his footsteps echo forward. He came to a stop just in front of her, drawing his lance back as if it were commonplace to run someone through. Grimmjow's instinct told him that at his level of power, and in his current position, he could do nothing. A part of him was still a slave to the number etched onto his skin. For a long time, everything was silent except for her gasping, and aside from the faint flickering in her eyes from the lance that had been positioned to end her life, no trace of light remained.

"Pride is not enough to kill true despair," he murmured. Her eyes shifted to his. "True, it dulls the blade for a time, but even that shield will shatter." She spat a mouthful of blood into the darkness and lifted her eyes. They hadn't changed. They were still as determined as ever. She shifted her hand and felt the silver twine brush against the back of it, then shut her fist with enough pressure to make her knuckles white.

Violet faded to silver and filmed over with a cover of deep thought just as his lance began moving forward.

* * *

><p>The moment Tousen came at him, Takumi shot off, leaping from building to building, never missing a step. Then, as they had, Aizen sent opponents to each of the four pillars Soul Society had erected in Karakura Town prior to his arrival to battle the vice-captains waiting there. Soi Fon watched them go with only slight satisfaction. It was a tactic Aizen meant to give them an advantage, yet at the same time, it was ultimately a double-edged sword. Tousen was one of his closest allies. Ichimaru would probably protect Aizen in the event that someone attacked him directly, but she could not say the same for the espada, who were hollow to the core and therefore more than likely untrusting of their leader. Hitsugaya deduced the same thing, but he felt no satisfaction. After all, it meant Aizen was confident enough with just the hollow and Ichimaru with him.<p>

"Gin."

"Hai, Aizen-taichou?"

"Should we give our visitors their greeting present?"

"Now's as good a time as ever, I s'ppose," he said, frowning slightly. "But are ya sure ya wanna spring that so early? It could prove ta' be useful later."

"It is as you said, Gin," Aizen murmured. "Now is as good a time as ever."

When the sky shifted, all of the captains prepared themselves, some out of fear, some out of shock, and some out of a pure desire to battle. Quietly, Hitsugaya questioned whether or not there was an end to the forces Aizen had at his disposal. They had planned for ambushes during those matches, but with the dizzying number of garganta opening, he knew that his calculations and countermeasures were entirely pointless. Their only option would be to turn their attention away from Aizen and the espada to defeat whatever was coming to attack them.

"This will be your end," he said in that voice full of satisfaction. With a wave of his hand, the sky opened. It split to reveal nothing but empty darkness. The silence was so intense that the slightest movement would have been ear-shattering.

"Is this a trick?" Saijin asked. "Some kind of illusion or spell?" He asked it, but Hitsugaya's eyes moved to Aizen, and considering the faint surprise on his face, that was not what he had intended to happen. Instead of hollow, a single figure dropped out of the darkness, descending so quickly that he wouldn't have been spotted unless he had wanted to. He stopped in the air and stretched his arm above his head to loosen the knot in his shoulder.

"Man. I was starting to wonder if you were going to open it," he said without turning an eye over his shoulder. Then, with a shrug, he grinned and shifted his eyes to Soi Fon. "I really didn't miss much, did I? Maybe I should have waited longer. Well, it is what it is, I guess."

"What happened to the hollow?" Aizen asked, his voice full of quiet authority.

"Hollow?" The figure turned and scratched his head, his right eye shut and his left over brimming with thoughts. "What are you even talking about?"

"There were hollow in that void of space. If you passed this way, then you saw them."

"Oh, those hollow..." he said slowly, sensing the tension in the wind and thinking immediately of Takumi. When his cloak shifted, the bloodstains on his uniform became apparent, and Soi Fon noticed that both of his palms were bleeding. Something in him stirred, his smile faded, and when he spoke, his voice had dropped to some deathly serious tone. "Isn't it obvious? I killed them all." One short laugh broke the silence, and he stared at his hands. "It's unbelievable, isn't it? A member of the fourth division on a covert mission instigated by the fifth division captain kills thousands of hollow only to fall into a world where no time has passed at all." He flexed his finger and looked at the silver thread, then dipped his head and thrust a foot against the face of the person who had just tried to flatten him with a punch. He landed as if nothing unnatural had occurred, steadying his balance and rising from his crouch. Then, slowly, he turned his eyes to Yamamoto. "She told me to tell you something. Haru, that is." He extended his fingers and felt the kidou burning off of them, knowing that it was not only his wounds that were healing. Then, his arm shot skyward in the sign of the German three, the second display of the day. "Believe in yourselves, and wait for me. Those were her words, spoken in silence." His eyes shifted, and he ducked again, jamming his elbow against the espada and throwing him back. "Soi Fon-taichou, do you mind if I take care of this guy?"

"Be my guest. It's less work for us to do."

"You got it," he answered, rotating his shoulder again and turning on his heel. "Hey, big guy! Yammy Llargo, right? Mind if we take this somewhere else? I don't want anyone getting caught in your crossfire. You can't seem to control those movements very well."

"You're dead meat, termite!" Hajime ducked the punch and thrust his fist upward with expert precision. Then, he turned and darted off.

"Careful! If you're too slow, you'll lose sight of me."

"I'm going to crush you like the insect you are!" They both disappeared from sight before too long, the huge espada cursing him the whole way, and Hajime grinning like a Cheshire cat. Ichimaru watched him go, trying to put his finger on exactly who the boy reminded him of, but it fell short as his own amusement spread over his lips.

"Looks like they found out about yer ambush, Aizen-taichou."

"Yes, though the means escapes me."

"Probably Grimmjow. Maybe he knew somethin' about it."

"Perhaps," Aizen answered, then fell silent. The events that had just taken place, brief thought they were, had rallied the spirits of everyone present. Soi Fon folded her arms and chuckled as the last hint of Hajime disappeared from sight. In his wake was a path of destruction caused by Yammy.

"Is it me, or did he look like he was enjoying himself?" Omaeda asked.

"To be honest, he probably enjoys this as much as Zaraki does." She looked at the man grinning from ear to ear, then recalled her own spars with Hajime, and her smile turned uneasy. "On second thought, considering his origins and parentage, he probably enjoys it more."

* * *

><p><em>This feeling... <em>Haru closed her eyes and thought the air rushing past her had slowed. When she opened her eyes, she found it was because it had. She was underwater, inside the garden of perpetual rain and lotuses, and her hand was extended upward. Above the water, she could hear Suzaku crying out and circling the surface, but she could not dive into it. There seemed to be a barrier between them. Around her, the colors in the water wound, pulling her deeper. _For some reason, I feel completely at peace._

"Why?" Suddenly, she was in a white space, with no walls and a thousand voices around her echoing the same word before dropping off into silence. "Why did you force me out? I could have helped you."

_Because, _she answered wordlessly, smiling and pressing her hand over her own heart. _Because some part of me always thought my power was enough._

"Your power has come to nothing. The only way you'll be able to beat Aizen at this point is to immolate what is left of your emotions." She turned her eyes to the guise of a child and looked into its iridescent eyes. "Will you still refuse to use me, even in this?"

_There is no need, _she said with a slow shake of her head. The smile faded, and the child's eyes darkened.

"I do not understand. I cannot even fathom it! Any being in your position would jump at this chance! Why do you obstinately continue to resist?"

_Because I don't need your power to prove my strength. _She smiled and felt the ring around her neck, the ring that had followed her even there, and thought of the one who gave it to her, and of his vice-captain, and of the other shinigami she knew, and of her brothers, both nominal and biological, her teacher, her dead parents, and all the hollow that had fallen underneath that blade, until her chain of thoughts wound around itself and her eyes snapped open. _It's my power, but I could never have gained it alone. Every battle I've had to this point has made me stronger and deepened my understanding without my realizing it. The last moment in the basement of my own estate... was when I finally realized... _Her smile broadened, and she lowered her head. _That understanding that power meant loosening my hold on other things. But that's fine. I've come to terms with that._

"So you're fine with losing your feelings? You'll lose your power if you do that."

_No, _she answered, shaking her head. _Those feelings I have... although I may have loosened my hold on them, although I may lose them for a time... _The void around her bent, and she drew a slow breath. _I will never let them go. _The rush of will raced between them as wind and fire, and she felt the threads unwinding. Her lips parted, and she spoke the words out loud. "I will not let him use you to destroy the world that has given my life so much meaning. No... I will save you. I will save you to save that world, even if it means losing everything. So... believe. And wait for me."

Those last words lodged in her head as her eyes slid open and she saw the kidou burning her wounds away. Ulquiorra's lance had stopped only centimeters from her stomach, mainly at the surprise of seeing something else gleaming in the darkness. Her hand flexed again, and with a determination she had only felt once before, she closed her hand and slammed it against Ulquiorra's jaw. The pain worked all the way from her shoulder to her wrist, and she definitely felt one of her knuckles split, but it didn't matter. The kidou had dulled the pain, but it hadn't completely alleviated it, not yet. There was only one person who could have done it, one person who could have had the foresight to touch her shoulder in that exact place, to leave a coating of his own reishi behind, to trigger the reaction at just the right moment. She remembered the lance and swatted its tip away with her blade, then turned her weapon to cut him, but he withdrew to a safe distance, listening as the kidou hissed quietly and her wound continued to shrink. "You..." Ulquiorra spoke slowly. "What sort of ability is that?" Haru glanced to her still glowing shoulder and shifted her eyes to him. "Is it your tenacity? Your own will? Are you using the hougyoku? What is it?"

Her fingers flexed in the darkness and drew a white arrow out. She studied it for a moment, then lowered her hand and stared at him. "It wasn't me." He arched a brow. "If Aizen hadn't been so preoccupied with me, maybe he would have noticed it."

"Noticed what?"

"That I am not the only one capable of unbelievable things." She jerked the string back and fired, and Ulquiorra barely had time to bat the arrow away with his lance. "And that the same person who did this, one of the many people protecting me, has unfathomable capabilities despite having convinced the world of his powerlessness." She dodged the lance and flinched as it went off behind her, but Grimmjow had finally found his footing again and grabbed her before any damage could be done. He landed with her under his arm, and she glanced at him as one claw tightened around her shoulder. So, he had realized it. He had realized it, but he had fought his instincts. Ulquiorra had ascended to a whole new level of unreachable power. He sensed his uselessness, but at the same time, his desire to protect her shattered his ability to act purely on instinct. She slowly expelled a sigh and squirmed out of his grip before shooting again. This time, a number of arrows scattered into the darkness. As Haru bent their course to attack Ulquiorra from all sides, she watched as his wings, tail, and lance pushed them all away. _There has to be an opening. _She tried again, with as little success as the first time, only now, instead of waiting for a third attempt, the cuatra used his sonido to appear in front of her. Without having time to understand what was happening, she felt herself shoved aside.

_Not again. _The corpses flashed so quickly in her mind that she hardly had time to think those words. _Not again... _She gritted her teeth and redirected the force of the blow, then cut upwards with such haste that, along with a generous amount of blood, one horn from the bone mask covering his head fell into the darkness. Before he could thrust forward, she twisted her weapon and slammed it against the tip of his lance. He staggered backwards rather than have it explode from the force and gazed at her with blatant surprise as she calmly readjusted her stance and adjusted her hold to shoot.

"Why?" he asked. Haru tilted her head slightly. "Why do you fight so hard to protect him? For that matter, what makes him protect you?" She passed Grimmjow a questioning look to find that he was also asking her what to say. She gave a half smile and lowered her weapon for a moment to think, and because Ulquiorra was interested in hearing the answer, she knew he wouldn't attack. Oddly enough, everything drew to a stop in that moment, the lance hanging idly at Ulquiorra's side, and Haru's bow tilted at nothing but empty darkness. Only Grimmjow's tail kept moving. It flicked every now and then, as if he too were considering the question. But at last, Haru gave a short laugh and lifted her eyes again.

"Why?" she echoed. "It's instinct. Isn't that right, Grimmjow-san?" He practically leapt back when he saw how eerily quiet her eyes had grown. "The truth is, I haven't been able to feel much of anything since I touched that form. I've had moments of feeling connected to Hajime or Byakuya-sama or Takumi, but they're only echoes of the real thing. Right now, I should be scared out of my mind, but the truth is, I only feel a slight hint of anxiety, a slight impatience because I know the people important to me are out there fighting right now, and something that can only be described as conviction. My own power..." She examined her palm. "Maybe it's not enough to go back to the way I was, but it's more than enough to kick Aizen's ass." Haru stepped forward with startling calm, her reiatsu curling through the air like smoke. "You..." Her voice had an anger that made the dark void around them appear well-lit. "You attacked and almost killed my sanseki. You spied on my vice-captain with the intent of obliterating his power. You almost killed me. And you hurt Grimmjow-san." She clutched her sword tighter. "I understand why, but I'm only human. I cannot forgive you." Her power surged, and she drew a slow breath. "Things are going to draw to a close very quickly. If you blink, you'll miss it." Ulquiorra scoffed and shot forward, then drove the lance into thin air. He aimed it at Grimmjow, but before he could release it, Haru's feet slammed down on him, throwing him downwards. She flashed after him, slamming her blade against his lance and parrying, her steps lingering as a pale glow in the darkness before fading. She stretched her arm out and closed her hand, and behind her, the reishi collected and fanned out until two flaming wings surrounded her.

"I do not know what ability that is, but it will not be enough." Haru breathed slowly and flexed those reishi, then turned her foot and shot forward again. This time, she turned a white arrow in a circle and fired it. When they scattered into a hundred, Ulquiorra's wings hastily batted them all away. One lodged in his leg, and he shattered it with his claws. Haru shot forward cut him, but he lashed at her with his tail, sending her backwards. She corrected her stance and fired at him again. The same number of arrows shot towards him. She turned to land on her feet and parried when he tried to break her throat. Then, her foot swept across his face and she darted around him, staying low. When he lifted his hand to fire a cero, she grabbed his wrist and pulled it towards her chest. Then, in the same instant, he let go and stepped back, moving in time with the attack, but she wasn't fast enough to escape it.

"Haru!" Her name echoed behind the reverberations of the cero. Then, suddenly, it split and spun in the air, fanning out into a green mist that fell away. Haru stood among it, her fingers dripping, the cut on her face from Ulquiorra's tail weeping blood, sweat running down her face, and lips parted with the pure effort of breathing after such a rapid exchange of blows. She staggered and wiped her cheek, then steadied herself without taking up a ready stance. Grimmjow's eyes moved to Ulquiorra. He couldn't figure out why the cuatra looked so shocked, but he soon saw that an arrow, pure black and solid, had lodged itself in the espada's gut. He tried to pull it out or crush it, but the thing wouldn't budge. Instead of becoming desperate, he became calm, almost accepting.

"I truly am sorry things had to end this way." The darkness around them shifted slightly as she adjusted her reiatsu.

"What sort of trick is this?"

"It's no trick. It's the third risen form. And..." She smiled again and pressed her finger to her lips. "It is something that should never be spoken of, not even in whispers." She sighed and shut her eyes. "But it doesn't hurt, does it? No. I bear the pain of firing it. That's the only pain it causes." She lifted her cut fingers and made the German three. "Can I tell you something, before you die?" Ulquiorra felt his life draining, but he saw no point in fighting. No. He already saw it. This girl was stronger than him, than his desire to protect Aizen, than even Aizen himself. "I am good at deceiving people, but I am horrible at lying outright. The things I told Aizen that day, though... there was a lie buried between them." Ulquiorra's eyes faded to emerald, and he stared at her smile. "The place Aizen is seeking that lie is too obvious. He will never see it."

"I understand."

"Then you should also know this." She reached out and pressed his hand against her heart, slowly opening her eyes and allowing the gleam to penetrate the darkness. "Do you feel it beating? The heart of the being who defies fate? It's not just an organ. It's joy and gratitude, but it's also loathing and despair. Yes, despair. That's something that can only exist within a heart." He wasn't sure why she was crying, but she was. Tears were running down her face. "That's something you've had all along, Ulquiorra-san." The hand between hers turned to dust, and he stared at her. She opened her lips to say something, but in the end, she only shook her head and bowed it low in gratitude and respect that words could not capture. So, that was a heart. So, he had had one all along. So... the thing she wanted most, the will he could feel radiating from the arrow buried in him, was for his next existence to be more fulfilling than his last. He understood. Some part of him understood. His mind was a muddle of confusion, but somehow, with blinding clarity beyond the limits of thought, he understood. That was his last realization before everything faded. Haru watched him go. Then, she dried her face.

"Chibi." She glanced at Grimmjow, whose wounds had started healing but were still present. "You okay?"

"Well, my wounds from before are okay. I've only got this one, now, and my fingers—"

"That's not what I'm talking about!" he roared. Then, he rubbed his head and sighed, glancing at her furtively, trying to find the words for it, but before he could get much further in his attempts, Haru looked at him with cool placidity.

"Sorry to worry you. I'm back now, Grimmjow-san." She spoke with the same smile that stirred something in him. Without knowing why, he hid against her shoulder, and instead of arguing with him, she rested a hand on his arm. "I made you a promise. I said I'd make you king. I haven't forgotten."

"Like I care about that." She glanced at him again. "Just don't leave me alone." She sighed and drew a slow breath.

"Alright. I won't." Haru's fingers slid away, and Grimmjow nearly staggered when her weight fell against him. She gave an uneasy laugh when he passed her a look of concern. "It's alright. It's just the third risen form requires a lot of reiatsu. I feel dizzy." She smiled again, tilting her unnaturally lit eyes towards the darkness. "Guess I'd better get my shit together so we can keep going, right?"

"No." She passed him an inquisitive look and felt the hand resting around her shoulders clamp down on the bands of her left arm. "After discharging that much reiatsu? No way in hell. You rest, damn it. Rest for as long as you need to." She didn't ask why that hand was shaking. Instead, she leaned back, letting her head drop, and drew a long breath through her lips.

"It hurts." His eyes were on her in an instant, scrutinizing her for wounds, but the only one he could see, aside from those minor lacerations she had acquired in the final moments of her duel with Ulquiorra was the one lodged in her eyes, the cut that didn't bleed but festered until the pain was crippling. "The silent despair devours me as I lay in total darkness."

"Now's not the time for haiku," he retorted, scoffing and turning away when her eyes wandered to his again.

"Grimmjow-san."

"Hmm?"

"Do you think I did right by him? Ulquiorra-san, I mean." His eyes shifted.

"Are you asking me as a shinigami?"

"I'm asking you as a friend." He stared at the darkness for a long time. He was too exhausted to correct her misuse of the word. Or maybe some part of him was growing to believe it.

"If I answered as a hollow, I'd say you were an idiot. That was the most merciful killing I've ever seen. And mercy is just as good as stupidity in a fight." Haru glanced at him. Obviously, her feelings were untouched. The light in her eyes remained the same, and her lips were still a thin line. "But if I answered you as an equal, I'd tell you that if you felt what you did was right, you shouldn't compromise your way of life for anyone else." He left it at that and released another breath, glancing down at Haru and watching her eyes fall shut. He didn't need to tell her it was okay to rest as long as she needed to. She gathered that much from what her body told her. Her body stayed suspended between Grimmjow's arms, but her mind was worlds away with the people she had left behind. Names slid through her mind one after another, each one marked with another twinge in her heart. As she reached one, her eyes snapped open, and a slow smile overcame her passive expression. "What's with that look?"

"Nothing," she answered, wiping the red trickle away from her jaw and pulling herself up with some difficulty. "Grimmjow... there's something I have to do. I can't ask you to come with me, but can you at least ensure that I make it there while I'm still conscious?"

"What are you going to do?" Instead of answering, she shot away with an alacrity he wasn't expecting. "Wait? Where are you going? Haru!" With a groan, he got up and followed her. It was the only way he was going to find out, and after all, he had been planning to follow her anyway.

* * *

><p>After Tousen had fought Haru's vice-captain for three minutes, he thought understood why the Fujiwara clan, and Takumi in particular, was sometimes associated with demons. He fought like one, dodging every blow, cutting without hesitation, countering with crushing accuracy and agility. Tousen had more than once thought he had Takumi trapped, but each time, like an expert chess player, he clawed his way out and redoubled his efforts, sword against sword, until his palms were numb and his ears were ringing with the tune. He shoved Tousen back every time he attacked, sometimes with half a growl escaping his throat, other times with a silent glower from mismatched eyes. "Tell me," Tousen said at a particular point when their blades were locked. Takumi gritted his teeth as the ex-captain's reiatsu all but forced the air out of his lungs. "Tell me the point of resisting. Justice is the only thing worth fighting for in this world."<p>

"You're wrong," he said, his voice roughened by the bloodlust stirring inside of him. "A world... with that singular line of thinking... can never exist." Takumi felt his blade slip, and they parried a few times before locking again. "For family... for friends... for pride... for love... for pleasure... there are as many reasons to fight in this world as there are people. That is something beyond your understanding."

"Then which of those things do you fight for?" Takumi couldn't hide the smirk that fell away as he was thrown against the wall. He blocked the point of the sword that would otherwise have punctured him. "Of those countless trifling reasons, what could possibly be your motive? Though it is clearly not strong enough when measured against my sense of justice." His eyes glimmered and his thoughts started melting away as they slid shut. Word by word, he recalled what Hinamori had said on that day when he had pushed her away and pulled her even closer. He recalled the blinding clarity that rippled behind those words as an echo of what was to come. If he focused hard enough, he could even feel his heart slamming against his ribcage with the anxiety of bearing his soul to her, as if he could relive that moment.

"What are you doing, Takumi-sama?"His eyes snapped open, and he realized he wasn't where he thought he was. Instead, he was standing on the stone pillar in the middle of the burning lake. Below, the flames blazed with enough life to paint the walls of his inner world with countless shadows. He looked at the avatar circling the pillar. "You're hesitating after all this time? Or is it that you don't understand it yourself?"

"Akumasho—"

"No," he said, his twin tails flicking and his ears sliding back. "Call me by that name." Takumi's surprise faded, and he gave his zanpakutoh a long, serious look. Then, he slowly exhaled. His shoulders relaxed, his mismatched eyes sank shut, and he stared blankly at the demon again. "You decided it yesterday, didn't you? You'd call that name so loud that the foundation of every world between here and Soul Society would tremble." He swallowed and recalled that will. Some part of him wished he hadn't discovered that desire right at the end of things, but it was too late now. The road ahead of him... he didn't have far left to walk. He sighed and gazed at the flaming lake.

"Are you sure about this?"

"Takumi-sama, I don't mind my existence ending. It should have ended with your father. But before it does, I want to be myself again." His lips parted slightly, and he gave a quiet laugh before staring out into the fiery water. "We have changed fate once already. We cannot change it again."

"No," he murmured. "That isn't an option." Takumi's eyes tilted back to the feline circling the rock. He paced forward and set a hand on his head, feeling the power shifting within. "It isn't fair. Finding that power only to lose it. Finding that name only to let it fall silent. Finding that place only to leave it empty."

"Life isn't fair." Takumi laughed again. "Besides, you embraced that fate when you decided to follow her." He stood next to the demon and stared at the fire for so long that his eyes seemed to be the same color, but when he looked away, the crimson in his left shone brilliantly.

"I did," he answered, shutting his eyes again. "But I did it knowing that my captain was capable of changing that fate." He smiled and pressed his other hand against his chest. When he opened them again, it was to find that no moment had passed outside of him. His mouth split open when he laughed and pressed a hand over his eyes. When he lowered it again, they were fierce with bloodlust.

"Why do I fight?" he echoed. "I fight because my heart's still beating! That's reason enough, isn't it?" He couldn't stifle the laughter that poured from him, and Tousen found it so disconcerting that he actually hesitated as if restrained by some instinct. "But that's something you wouldn't understand. You're no longer a shinigami." Something in his eyes glimmered, and Tousen restrained the urge to step back.

"If you know that, then you know it is impossible to win." But that only made Takumi laugh all the harder, as if he had completely lost his mind. He laughed until his sides hurt, then hunched over and drew a breath that was startlingly calm in light of his hysterics.

"Impossible?" he echoed. Slowly, he lifted his hand to his left eye and peered at Tousen only with his right. His smile had not changed. It retained every trace of certainty even as he spoke. "Nothing is impossible." Takumi's reiatsu shifted so violently that the air around them scattered outwards, rattling the windows of the surrounding buildings and then lashing back. Tousen withdrew just in time. The vice-captain steadied himself against the wall and drew a slow breath. "You do not understand the power that was buried inside of me." His hand slowly dropped, and he fixed both eyes on his opponent, his mouth a serious line, his gaze fierce, his right foot forward.

_That's right, _whispered the wind standing still all around them. _Call me by that name even I forgot once, so long ago. Call me by the name you and I never thought it possible to recover. Call me... and I will turn your every prayer into reality._

"Kaze o tsuikyuusuru..." The summoning came as a low murmur, and the name came as a firm word no louder than Takumi's normal speaking. "Byakko." The wind scattered again. This time, the window shattered under the pressure, and shards of glass fell like snow around them, as if inside of his chest, Takumi's heart was roaring the name. The sword extended into its usual lance shape, and the air slammed against the ground with the crushing force of a tiger's paws. Then, just as suddenly as it had started, the air fell still. Slowly, Tousen lowered his arm and turned his head in Takumi's direction. He could sense that something was different, but he couldn't determine what it was, much less with Takumi's weapon slamming so suddenly against his own. But if he'd been able to see, he would have noted the calm electric blue in Takumi's right eye was mirrored in his left, both in magnitude and in coloration.

* * *

><p>Hajime felt the change. He felt it so abruptly that he staggered to a stop and slammed his hand over his right eye, biting back every expression of pain that threatened to seep from him. All that escaped was a gasp before he pulled himself up and shot forward again. Behind him, he heard the building break to pieces. He stumbled when his feet hit the next roof and slid against it before pushing himself up and staggering around his opponent's blows. <em>I can't take a hit from that guy. <em>The barrier that sprang up between him and his opponent blocked the blow, and through its surface, Hajime fixed his eyes on the espada, who, whether out of frustration, desperation, or sheer rage, continued driving his fists against the barrier. It cracked, but it didn't break, not even when Yammy fired a cero at point blank. He dropped his hand from his eye and let out a slow breath.

"What the hell are you looking at, termite?"

"Hey," he said slowly. "Why are you even fighting me?"

"You asking me this because you're afraid to die?" Hajime shrugged and tilted his left eye to some bare corner of landscape.

"Please. Don't flatter yourself by thinking you can kill me." The next time Yammy's fist struck the barrier, it shattered under the blow. He stood, as calmly as before, amid the fading fragments, and shrugged before sliding his foot back and flashing out of the way of the next blow. The cero, he dodged with equal agility. Then, he vanished again only to reappear and slam his foot against the espada's face. When Yammy's hand wrapped around his ankle, he brought his other foot down on the espada's head. Then, he pulled his free hand back and fired a spell full force. The building beneath them crumbled to dust, and he felt the grip release. He readjusted his footing and pointed his hand. Before the first spell had faded, he fired a second without a word. He didn't even bother trying to restrain his grin as the espada crashed through a wall, and he didn't even try softening it when his opponent crawled out of the rubble. "Obviously, nobody told you who you were messing with when you decided to pick a fight with me. I'll tell you right now, it's not going to be easy on either of us. Especially on you." He calmly extended his sword and drew a slow breath. "What do I need to do to make you understand the magnitude of what you're facing?"

"Try cutting me with that sword for one!" Hajime's grin contained a trace of madness as he shot around the cero intended to end his life. He stepped around them with movements that were so natural, he almost forgot he was fighting. But as he moved, something caught his gaze for one instant, and that something, for some reason, jarred his heart in his chest with such force that he nearly broke his rhythm. It was just for a moment, barely noticeable, and although he continued dodging with the same alacrity, Yammy must have noticed it.

_Damn it. The flow of the fight changed for just an instant... how could he have— _He gritted his teeth and analyzed the possible results. In the end, he cursed and readjusted his stance, then shot forward with so much speed that the wind in his wake scored the ground. He slammed his foot onto Yammy's wrist and pinned it to the ground. Then, he leaned backwards and flash stepped to the roof above, faltering slightly as the figure already standing on it opened her mouth to chew him out. She yelped once as he grabbed her wrist and gave her a serious look. "Don't stop running yet," he murmured. She tried to stammer something again, but before she could, she felt him slip his other arm under her legs and hurl himself into the air as the building caved way beneath the force of the blow. He stumbled once, then shot down to the ground and rounded a corner, setting his passenger down and giving his surroundings a once-over before turning to her.

Of course, nothing that had just transpired had fazed her in the least. With the sternness of a true Yamashita, Saki gazed at her savior. She did seem a little surprised, though whether at Yammy's power or Hajime's speed, he couldn't discern. He gave her a long look, his lips pressed together in a thin line. Then, he opened his mouth to speak. But before he could, she had driven a fist against his jaw and thrown him to the ground. As soon as he got his head on straight, he threw both eyes at her, bewildered. "That was for drugging Haru-dono." He gave her a wry look, then lowered his gaze.

"I was trying to protect her."

"I don't give a damn what you were trying to do! You hurt the head of my family, and I'll do worse than crack your skull open. I'll skin you alive!" The hand he had clasped over his jaw slammed against her mouth, and before she could protest, he pressed a finger to his own lips and cast a furtive glance around. After a tense moment, he sighed and lowered his hand.

"Listen. I'm not bound by the same rules as Takumi, and I'm sure as hell not one to follow them in times like this, so I'll say it point blank." Hajime's eyes grew a shade darker as he studied her. "By coming here, you've sealed your fate. You've given up your right to life, to the future, and to your dreams." Her face didn't change. "Are you really okay with that?"

"There isn't anything I won't do to protect my family." She thrust her fist outward as if to punch him, and he winced, but the blow never came. She stopped short. Curious, he opened his hands and felt something cold and metal fall into it. Hajime tilted his head slightly and glanced up at her. "And in my family, everyone wears a cross. That should include you, shouldn't it?"

"What the hell are you even—"

"Just put it on already, or I'll hold you down and put it on for you!" He curbed his irritation and examined the object with faint curiosity. In Rukongai, he wouldn't have let anyone speak to him that way. But this wasn't Rukongai. It was a warzone. With a sigh, he slid the piece of metal onto the edge of his ear and clipped it on until the pressure was slightly uncomfortable. After a moment, he adjusted and stood, listening to it rattle faintly. No, it wasn't a quincy cross, but it was a cross nonetheless. Strange... it was strange how such a simple thing could make him feel bound to a family he had never had anything to do with.

"Alright. I'm done. Now what?"

"Easy enough. We fight him." He quirked a brow, then sighed. He wondered what Mari would think of this outspoken quincy whose powers were fully engineered.

"Fine by me, but I can't guarantee your safety."

"You don't have to worry about my—" Hajime threw her to the ground as a sword sailed over her head. Then, he picked himself up and dragged her behind him, keeping his sword on his opponent. He noticed his breathing had quickened and willed it to a stop.

"Damn, you insects are hard to see from up there." The maddened grin crept over his face. "What a pain. I'm going to crush you both, now." Before Yammy could move, his eyes snapped to the girl behind Hajime, who had taken up a peculiar stance with a weapon in each hand. Her posture amused Yammy into a delighted delirium. Hajime cast a glance back at her and shifted his eyes to his opponent again. "What are you going to do? Huh? Bludgeon me to death with those two little sticks? You're even dumber than I thought!" He didn't even move as Saki shot past him. Before the espada could even move, the girl had slashed his face and his right arm, and before he could comprehend what had happened, she slammed both feet down on his head. Just as quickly, she leapt away, narrowly missing being caught, and landed in a crouch beside him before delivering an upward cut with both weapons that was blocked one-handed by Yammy. He grinned and thrust his other fist forward, but she disappeared into thin air, and when she reappeared behind him, scores appeared across his fist in the shape of a cross. He stared at his hand for a moment, then let out a roar of pain. Without the slightest change in expression, Saki turned back, her eyes gleaming unnaturally.

"Don't underestimate my pride!" Hajime wasn't sure whether she was telling him that or her opponent. In either case, the words drew a faint smile to his face.

_So, the struggle against fate continues on... _He felt the ground shudder as Yammy slammed a fist against it. Saki hadn't been expecting it, so she staggered. _Damn it... I have to do something. _He repositioned his feet and flashed forward, his hand gliding inside his uniform and wrapping around the hidden weapon. _But for you... yes... this is the time. _He made two cuts, the first of which neither of them saw because he was in the middle of a flash step. The second went straight upwards. It should have parried the blow, but instead, Yammy's weapon went through it. The espada practically paused in mid-swing. He watched as the knife turned dull and slipped through his flesh. He felt a pinch of cold, but no blood flowed. Around that point, Hajime shot backwards, straight out of Yammy's reach, readjusting his hold on his zanpakutoh and rising to a standing position.

Yammy checked his body for further damage. The wounds Saki had given him had already healed, and the one Hajime was supposed to have given him no longer felt cold. Remarkably, there was no blood there. He stared at his hand, then glanced up at the shinigami. He seemed to be bloodlust incarnate in that moment. He twirled the dagger in his hand without taking his eyes off of his opponent. Then, he snatched it out of the air and raised his sword again. "Take care you do not forget that cut later, Yammy." He felt the icy recollection of the first cut resting under his right eye and drew a slow breath. For a moment, his thoughts were with his sister. Then, they fell to Takumi. Then, to the one who had decided, against her family's orders, to fight, and to fight alongside him of all people. When he spoke again, he spoke with certainty. "That cut... is sure to be your death blow."

* * *

><p>Inside the black void between worlds, there was nothing but silence, broken occasionally by two sets of footsteps. There was no sense of struggle, no weapons cutting the darkness. The point of a bow punctured the air, but it was idle. Black claws waved from side to side without really cutting. Things were so startlingly quiet that it was impossible to think about what was going on at that exact moment.<p>

Outside, of the void, the air was thick with blows. The sound of swords seemed to come from every corner as everything and everyone was consumed with battle. Their focus was intense, their determination insurmountable. Their reasons were countless.

To protect pride.

To protect friends.

To protect the future.

Or simply for the hell of it.

But there was still a sense of waiting hanging in the air. Some piece of the equation, some pivotal figure, had not yet made an appearance. And everyone, regardless of their motive, felt that tension in the air and chose to ignore it, or accept it. It comforted the weary muscles and the despairing heart. It made wicked smiles and desperate wishes. It made the sounds and smells and flavors of war more bearable, and at the same time made them unbearable.

The world hung suspended between war and waiting until, in a quiet corner, the sky split open and two white figures sprang from the black.

* * *

><p>And this is the part where I'm like screw the canon. People die how I want them to and fight how I want them to. That is the fun of being an author. (Insert evil laughter here.) Before anyone asks, no, I'm not going to stretch this out as much as Kubo did. Because ain't nobody got time for that!<p>

And here's your free Japanese lesson, brief but totally necessary.

Demo: But

Souka: I see

Kaze o tsuikyuusuru: Pursue the wind.

Hope you enjoyed. Chapter 24 is coming soon!


	24. Chapter 24: Last Order

A/N: Let's get this one out of the way first.

OMIGODISUCKSOHARDRAHHHHHH!

Dramatics and caps locks aside, I have been busy getting my life together over the past few months, hence the delay. Well, that, and I attained a writing-related injury a couple of months ago that has hopefully sorted itself out and will not stand in my way any longer.

This chapter was the one that took the longest to edit. I spent weeks polishing it and actually meant to post it back in August, but trying to move across an ocean while tying up loose writing ends doesn't always work. At any rate, it's together enough for me to feel comfortable posting it.

To be honest, I've almost quit this so many times between the negative reviews on part one (which I wrote about 9 years ago), my complete lack of interest in the current Bleach plot arc (and my failure to keep up with it), and just general frustrations in life, but every now and then, someone will favorite me or my work, and I figure, even if it's for that one person, I want to finish this. So, thanks everyone for your continued support.

And now... let's get this show on the road. PENULTIMATE CHAPTER: GO!

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 24: Last Order<em>

Hajime swallowed the bitter foreboding in his mouth and dodged by a narrow margin. His opponent seemed to be catching on to his style of fighting, and worse still, he was becoming more enraged that he could make neither the shinigami nor the quincy bleed. He took one step to the side and swung with his dagger, but the espada had learned not to fear that weapon because it couldn't cut him. Yammy drew back a fist and was about to punch Hajime through a wall only to be sliced by the quincy's. They both withdrew to a safe distance, listening to him howl in pain. "Seriously, what good is a weapon that doesn't cut?" Saki demanded.

"Hell if I know. Something's wrong with it, I think." He gave it a long look before sliding his dagger into its sheath and raising his sword. The fist that would have killed them both collided with a thin wall that didn't even so much as crack under the force. Casually, he tilted his eyes back to her. "Well, it'll be useful at some point, even if it isn't now, so don't worry about it."

"Don't worry about it?" she shouted. "This is a freaking espada, and you're acting like you do this kind of thing every day! Just who the hell are you?"

"Hmm..." he said slowly, his face curling into a protective smile. "I wonder." Before Yammy could break his barrier, he broke it himself by raising his hand and firing a kidou. In the dust that remained, he grabbed Saki's arm and shot away again. She glanced back and saw only the scorch mark from his kidou. Instead, Hajime was staring off into the distance, in the direction that the wind had just stopped flowing from. "At any rate, although our current tactic is effective for evasion, we're not really doing much damage, and I kind of need to speed things up a bit."

"Don't talk like you have your own agenda here!" Hajime's vision wavered as she jerked him forward by the front of his cloak. "This is war. You can't expect to keep that sort of thing out here."

"If I told you it was for someone important to me, would you at least attempt to understand?"

"I don't care who the hell it's for! It's point—" Hajime half threw her and blocked the espada's fist with a kick, then readjusted his hold on his sword and drove it into the point between the neck and shoulder. Before Yammy could even swat at the spot, he jerked his sword out and shot backward and slowly stood erect.

"Listen, Saki-san... I'm the kind of person who's spent his whole life on the outskirts. Aside from my sensei and my little sister, the only one I ever really got close to was Takumi. But even him, I kept at arm's length. To protect him from the truth. That doesn't make it right, but it is what it is." His eyes gleamed as he drew his dagger again and sealed his two-bladed sword. "At the moment I needed it most, he cut right into my life. I confided in him, and I did what I could to protect him. That's all I was trying to do when it comes down to it." He looked to the sky overhead, calm blue hiding the atrocity of war, silently questioning whether or not it had been always been like that, then jerked towards the reiatsu and the enraged cry that followed it. Slowly, Hajime walked forward, placing himself between Saki and the noise. "I'm going to need you to back me up here. I don't think I can do this alone."

"What are you going to do?" He gave a slow sigh and relaxed his shoulders, then wrapped both hands around his knife. It was obvious enough what he planned, and the reasons. It was all so startlingly clear that she thought she heard it crack with the windows around them. She gave a slight laugh and readied her own weapons. "Shit. This is crazy. Supporting someone who meddled with Haru-dono..."

"Some way of paying a debt, isn't it?" he laughed. "But you won't regret it... paying cunning back with kindness." He smiled and turned his eyes forward. "I never did." She didn't have a chance to question him. When the dust cleared, Yammy stood glowering at them.

"Stupid insects. I'll squash the both of you!" Hajime changed his footing as the reiatsu flared up again and the glass in the windows shattered. He noticed the sword emerging and braced himself. "Buchikirero, Ira!" The reiatsu increased drastically and shot skyward, and Hajime shielded his right eye from the intensity. Saki stammered a sentence that Hajime didn't catch. He was too focused on Yammy's tattoo, his eyes overriding his ears, watching as the one began to burn away. He drew a slow breath and slid his feet closer together as eight additional legs hit the ground. Saki barely had time to breathe before something enormous and unsightly scattered the dust. A tail shot through the air, and she felt the tremor run through her body, then jerked her eyes to Hajime, who studied his opponent with the same calm resolve as before. Then, he smiled without any pretense of looking away.

"So, you've finally decided to get serious?" He lifted the knife to his eyes and shifted his focus. "Not ready yet, are you? Well, then we'll just have to distract him until then." He lifted his hand and fired a kidou that was swatted away like it was nothing. His expression changed, and he slowly tipped his gaze to Saki, still smiling despite her obvious horror. "Saki-san, will you still back me up?"

"Against that thing?" She cast him a questioning look, and he nodded once, with so much confidence that it shook her to the core and made her nod in response. "What do I need to do?"

"Stay alive," he answered. "Five minutes. That's all I'm going to need." He fired a more powerful kidou without turning his head. This one burned the oversized Yammy and summoned a roar of pain from him. Then, Hajime vaulted forward with only his dagger drawn. Saki shot after him, and between the two of them, they managed to score blow after blow despite the thrashing. The buildings coming down around them definitely attracted some unwanted attention, and although it wasn't Hajime's style to damage the surroundings if he could help it, the situation didn't warrant any pickiness. He guarded Saki with his kidou while she put score after score in Yammy's skin. After firing another kidou, Hajime threw up a dizzying number of barriers, all with dangerous preciseness.

"How much longer can you keep this up?" he asked her.

"As long as you need me to." Half of his barriers crumbled when a cero hit them.

"I'm asking you seriously!" he shouted over the roar. Saki stared at him and noted the concern in his eyes, but she only adjusted her hold on her weapons. "You're powerful. I'll give you that. But so am I. And I'm not stupid. I know there's a limit." Before he could answer, she threw her fist against his face, and he coughed hard as he slammed against the building. While wiping the blood away from his split lip, he could only watch her shoot away as the rest of his barriers fell apart. In her wake followed any number of cuts that only seemed to make Yammy angrier. He watched her fighting and swallowed the lump in his throat. _That time... _A sharp cry dragged him out of his distracted thoughts, and when he focused, he saw Saki caught between Yami's fingers.

"Well, looky here... I caught a mosquito. I wonder how easy it will be to crush..."

In that instant, his whole world shuttered to a blurry stop.

He knew. He knew the future she could have and the precise instant she would have died. He knew what her soul would accomplish thereafter, under a different name. And he knew that because she had set foot on the battlefield, that future was no longer possible.

It was the same back then.

In the joint between seconds, he went back to the Rukongai he'd so recently been to. When he saw those sleepless kids staring at him from against the wall, when he roused himself and found that he had been covered with their only blanket, filthy and raggedy as it was... it was the same. He had seen a bright future, a brighter future than either of them could imagine in that moment. And by coming there, perhaps he had skewed it, but he knew he hadn't derailed it entirely, not like Saki had. He had shut his eye and let sleep drag him under until the daylight was clearer. Then, when he opened his eye again, he saw the younger girl peering at him. She regarded him with caution, then touched his face, drawing a groan from him and forcing him to sit up. "Why are you here?" the child had asked in a low, almost rattling voice. He thought about it for a moment, then moved his mismatched eyes to his snarling stomach. She stared at the rice ball in her hand, then handed it to him. He only pinched off a morsel before giving it back to her.

"I'm here... because there's something I need to forgive myself for." He walked further down the path of that memory until he reached an almost identical chilly, rose-colored dawn he had witnessed that day and knelt with a face bathed with dirt and cold tears holding a broken hand losing its warmth as eyes dead to life bore into him. Then, for some reason he didn't know, a scream of pure agony had torn past his lips. It echoed in his ears as he watched that child swallow the rest of her rice ball whole. A grain stuck to her face, and he smiled, plucking it off and pushing it into her mouth. "There are things in this life that people simply cannot stand to lose. I was one of those things once, to a woman whose name I can't even remember. She fed me. She protected me. There came a moment when I should have done the same, but I didn't. And because of that, she died. I thought I could atone if I killed the people responsible, but the blood didn't stop flowing until I was saved." He watched her swallow the last of it and smiled. "If I'm ever in that position again, I want to be able to do something. And the thing that I need to do that... is something I left behind when I went to Soul Society." He lowered his head and closed his hand, tasting that tang of longing for a familiar face and swallowing as best he could. "I swear... that when that moment comes again, I will not simply let it slide through my fingers."

Even though his face was streaked with tears, even though that must have been utterly unsettling to her, she crept forward and leaned against his arm. He had lifted his other hand and pressed it over his eyes.

_I said that... _His mind ticked into focus as he watched Saki squirm, her face twisting as she released another cry of agony that he couldn't even hear. _I said that. _He ground his teeth. _Last time, I couldn't protect that person. _His grip on the dagger tightened. _But this time... _He remembered the lifeless gold eyes eating into him and lifted his face, and his reiatsu pulsed so violently that the road between Yammy's feet split. _This time, I will._

Without uttering a word, he shot a high-level kidou through the espada's arm, severing nerves and bone, burning tendons away. He caught Saki and flashed to a nearby building, dropping to one knee and holding her while she shook and groped at his arm, speechless, stricken dumb by her close encounter. "Saki-san, can you hold onto me for a minute?"

"What?" she managed, her voice an unsteady murmur. He gritted his teeth and shifted his eyes to their opponent, who was once again glowing with rage.

"Wrap your arms around my shoulders as tightly as you can."

"What the hell kind of pervert are you—"

"Just do it already!" he shouted in a volume that made her practically throw herself against him. He swallowed, then adjusted his footing, shifting so her weight was against his back. He glanced at her two seele, sealed but still in her hands, and lowered his head. "Don't let go, alright?" He shifted his weight and shot forward, then flashed to the next building. They both watched as the house they had been perched on crumpled to a cloud of dust. Then, after shifting his stance, he shot off again, leaping off of five buildings as quickly as Yammy destroyed them. "Also, you should know something," he said as they started descending. Saki opened her eyes and peered at him, her breath practically stopping as the violet right eye cut into her. "It's not a crime to rely on me. And it's not a crime to be afraid of him."

"But you're not afraid of him."

"No, I'm not," he murmured, twisting at the last minute and shooting around a cero, then landing on his feet. "But I'm afraid of losing the people who make my life worth living. I'm afraid that the person who gave me a reason will lose himself and do something he'll regret later. I'm afraid that Haru will miss the timing by just enough to make everything fall to pieces. I'm afraid of screwing up and having someone die in my place." He gave her a long look when he said that, then gritted his teeth and shifted his focus to his flash steps again. "It's because I'm afraid of those things but not of my opponent... that next to Haru, Takumi, and maybe you, I am probably the most dangerous one here." Yammy knocked the building out from under his feet, and they plummeted downward with a shower of debris, trying to breathe despite the fact that Saki was now choking him. _Shit... no way to land. _He elbowed Saki in the ribs to make her loosen her hold, then twisted and pulled her against him. He gritted his teeth as his back hit the ground, and for a moment, he didn't breathe or move. Then, he shifted and glanced at the quincy who was shaking his arm and calling his name, but he couldn't hear the words properly. To allay her fear, he managed a smile. She stopped immediately and stared at him, her mouth hanging open slightly, then sighed.

"I thought I'd lost you already. Too much talk for a punk shinigami." He let out a chuckle, then coughed. "Are you going to live?"

"Yeah," he answered. "Just winded, and a bit tired." They both looked up when they felt the ground rumble. Sure enough, a wave of buildings flattened, and dust covered them both for an instant. Saki hid her mouth in the crook of her arm, and Hajime shut both of his eyes. When the force subsided, he opened them again but didn't move. Saki immediately stood up and unsealed her weapons, then placed herself between him and the enormity.

"What? You gonna fight me?" Saki didn't move. She only tightened her grip until her hand shook. "You're scared out of your mind! Why even try?" His laughter rattled the glass, and slowly, Saki's hands and head sank. Hajime pressed his lips together and tried to move, but he sank down again with a defeated breath.

"I'm not fighting you," she said, raising her eyes. "I'm protecting him, and his right to protect others!"

"Che!" the espada scoffed. "I'll grant that he's a lucky bastard, getting away with only a scratch..."

_A scratch_? He moved his fingers and touched the right side of his face. Something between them felt sticky. Before his vision cleared, the blood red pigment registered in his mind.

"...but you're luck's run out!"

_She knows, _he thought, watching as she raised her blades and crossed them, watching as the shadowed bands flared and sparked. _She knows she can't stop him, but she's choosing to fight anyway. _He slammed his fist into the ground and pushed himself up so he was kneeling, then slowly shifted to a crouch. He heard it in the back of his head, the slow ticking echoing away inside of him while shouhekitsuru stood idly inside the prison of mirrors. _I've heard this before, haven't I? _When he found his heart hammered with the exact same rhythm as the ticks, his mismatched eyes slowly split open. _It must have been that time... when I nearly took his eye, but I didn't want to hear it, so I shut it out. I pretended it wasn't there. _He gripped the dagger tighter and extended his arm.

_That's right, _murmured shouhekitsuru. _Instead of relying on only me, please rely on that one, too. Rely on the both of us, apart or together, so that you can protect the meaning you've found in life._

"What... what in the hell are you doing?" Yammy demanded. Hajime turned the dagger and lifted his eyes again.

"Mawasu..." A shadow of reiatsu pulsed along the blade and curled along his arm like fog, and the surface of the blade slowly dulled to darkness. "Tokikage." Yammy felt the chill creeping across his chest again, but before he could process what was happening, the black walls of a kidou sprang up around him and sealed him off. Saki's mouth fell open, and she turned to him, studying the calm in his face and trying to collect her thoughts. "Did you forget?" Hajime murmured, his face lit with an undeniably familiar smile. "Did you forget what I told you when I cut you that first time?" He adjusted his hold on the knife and peered at his eyes in its reflection. "Let me remind you." Saki twisted towards the black structure as the blades protruding from it shot inward and a crack appeared. It wasn't Yammy's power doing it. It was Hajime's, glowing vivid cyan, and after a moment, the structure scattered with a flash that made Saki shield her eyes. When the light faded and the dust cleared, Yammy tottered where he stood and fell to the ground with enough force to knock her over, landing in a bloody heap with a wound from one hip to the other shoulder. Without uttering a word, Saki turned back to Hajime again, whose face was frozen with unbearable seriousness. Then, remembering his wounds, he lost his balance and fell face down. Saki bent over him and turned him over onto his back to find a pair of living eyes looking up at her. "Sorry, but would a moment be too much to ask for? I can't move after that."

"Idiot!" she shouted. "Why the hell did you wait so long to do that? You nearly got us both killed!"

"I don't control the timing," he murmured, shutting his eyes. "I foresee the timing, and I use that to my advantage. That's all."

She stammered something unintelligible, then continued her tirade. "Are you trying to kill yourself? You know damn well doing all of that's going to put you in this state, so why—"

"To save you." He mumbled it and shut his eyes. "Because there was someone I couldn't save once." When his eyes appeared, they were rimmed with tears, but they sank shut again to trap them. "This is my atonement, the one I tried for decades to find in blood. It's here."

"Sit up for a minute." Despite everything, he did what she asked, pushing himself into a haphazard seiza, then practically leaping back when he felt a breath against the side of his face.

"Saki-sa—"

"For saving me," she said, pressing her lips against his face, then yanking his head onto her shoulder. "Now, cry all you want." Hajime shut his eyes and let the tears seep out, then breathed and collected himself. He could sense her thoughts. He could see them perfectly clearly, and they drew a laugh out of him. "I told you to cry, damn it! Why are you laughing?"

"It's nothing." The wind shifted, and Hajime's eyes jerked up. He grabbed the hood of his cloak to keep it from tipping back. Then, after sheathing his dagger, he stood up, wrapping his hand around his side, then staggering forward. Before he could fall, he felt Saki's weight supporting him. "You can't even walk straight. Just let me help you." She glanced forward and took a step, and Hajime timed his footfall with hers.

"Tell me something. Do you have any regrets at all about coming here?"

"Of course not." Hajime digested the words, then cast her a dubious look. "Seriously, there's nothing I could even think of regretting at this point!" When she looked at him again, he had a dangerous look on his face. "Oi, Haji—" He caught the rest of her words with his own lips. Her whole being jolted, and she was going to raise a hand to strike him, but he had already caught it. His eyes dug into her, and she slowly felt the tension and shock pass. Then, he backed away, pushing the back of his hand against his mouth.

"For saving me," he said with so much seriousness that it paralyzed her. "And, so you can die without regrets." He grinned, and once that stark expression dissolved, she couldn't suppress the laugh that rose in her throat despite the unnatural quality of the wind flowing towards them.

* * *

><p>When Tousen drew out the mask, when that dark pillar of reiatsu sprang up around him and devoured his humanity, he could not understand why Takumi didn't so much as flinch. He simply stared for a few seconds, his smile taking on an almost sad quality before he mumbled, "You idiot." Tousen's brow arched. "You threw your humanity away for a façade to gain a hybridity that one should never willingly reach for."<p>

"I did it for justice."

"It doesn't matter why you did it." There was a slight edge of anger in his voice, but he curbed it with startling skill. "Kurosaki Ichigo and the other vizard... they had it imposed on them. It's taichou's birthright. The fact that you grasped it when your circumstances neither warranted nor permitted such an action... is absolutely and irrevocably unforgivable." The wind kicked up again, and Takumi slid his foot back. "You're going to die here, Tousen. I won't let you fight anyone else like that." He slammed his lance against the ground, and Tousen felt Takumi's reiatsu shifting. He shot forward and tried to cut off the boy's head, but the lance blocked his sword with no effort at all. Instead of giving way beneath the force of the blow as he had when Tousen had been fighting without the mask, Takumi responded with equal force. It was a stalemate until Takumi twisted his weapon and sliced through Tousen's shoulder. "Tsukishibo." Before Tousen even knew what he was doing, he drove his own sword through his leg.

"You..." he managed through his teeth. "What are you?" Takumi twisted his weapon and cut Tousen across the chest.

"Taiyoushibo." The wind around them scattered, and Tousen staggered backwards. The gust threw him against a wall. He could hear the rings on the lance rattling as Takumi spun it. Then, he pointed it at his target. "Taichou has her triad in ignis solus. I have mine in this. Destroy the mind, destroy the body, destroy the soul." The wind became suffocatingly still. "Sekaishi—" His tunnel vision shattered when he sensed the sword shooting for him. He flashed backwards and fell into a crouch, then blocked the blow by swinging his lance upwards. He shut his right eye and focused wholly with his left. The images flashing through his head were absolutely dizzying, almost as if they'd been imposed on him. He growled and threw his opponent back, then shot after him. Tousen's first swing missed. The second, he parried. On the third, Takumi twisted his weapon and slammed the blunt handle of his lance against Tousen's hip. He recovered and slashed downward, nicking Takumi's shoulder and causing him to stagger back.

"Fool. Do not think it will be so easy to destroy justice."

"I never thought it was easy," he retorted, flicking his weapon and summoning another gust of wind. "You, too. Don't think it's easy to destroy a god." He looked at the lance thoughtfully. _He has something else up his sleeve. It's too early to bring that out._

_If you can't get him to stand on equal footing with you, then you're going to miss your window. That's what you came here for, wasn't it? _He lowered his head slowly and tightened his grip on his lance.

_Then let's go halfway, and if that doesn't do anything, we'll push the limits. _Tousen rushed forward to cut him again, but Takumi pointed his weapon at the sky, and the wind from heaven rushed down to meet him, tearing the edges of his sleeves to shreds. When it slowed to a stop, Tousen forced himself up and glanced to the fifth division vice-captain, who still had his arm raised over his head. Tousen could sense that the weapon had changed shape, but he couldn't perceive its current form.

"Bankai: kanryoshoku," Takumi murmured. The remainder of the wind scattered and fell to a stop. Slowly, he lowered his arm, never changing his hold, and took a step forward. _The wind... _He felt his heart beat and smiled. _I can hear it crying. _He paused and pressed a hand over his eyes. _What a lonely sound... _He felt his opponent rush forward, and in an instant, all the rage in the air snapped and slammed against Tousen's blade. Then, it split and lashed at him from all sides, cutting him countless times before hurling him through concrete. He hit the street with a cough and managed to tumble onto his feet, wiping his mouth and staring at the dust in his wake as a figure slowly passed through it. "You can't see it," Takumi murmured, smiling. Tousen vaulted forward again. This time, he felt his blade connect with Takumi's, but he let it slide past and moved around the force of the blow. He wiped his eyes with his other hand and fixed them on Tousen's mask. "You can't see the heart of the wind."

"Of course not!" Tousen cut again, and Takumi blocked the blow before delivering one of his own. "What fool talks of such things? And if they could be seen, what would they matter? They are nothing." Takumi's left pupil narrowed to a slit, and he pushed back against the reiatsu grating against his.

"What do you mean... nothing?" he echoed, his voice strained and his arms shaking. "You say that about something that just threw you through a building." The air around them fell entirely still again. Tousen shot away, thinking that he was about to attack, but it remained as it was even when he raised his weapon again. "The wind can be gentle and warm, or cold and unrelenting. I'm the same. So..." He lifted his weapon and gripped it tighter. "If you want to fight me for real, get serious. I've known since the moment I saw you this morning... no, I knew from the start... that this isn't all you've got." Takumi's smile faded, and he gave Tousen a long look, trying to convey that it wasn't a bluff. _With this power, I will tear you to pieces or die trying. _

"You cannot handle me at that level." Takumi threw him back, then hunched over, filling the air with unsettling laughter.

"You think not?" he demanded, flicking his sword. Behind him, the pavement crumbled and scattered, scored by wind. "You'd better change your attitude, Tousen. That kind of narrow-mindedness gets people killed by the last ones they expect." Takumi's eyes flickered slightly as a fine crack appeared where Tousen's mouth was beneath the mask. The anger radiating off of his opponent seeped into every thought.

"You are arrogant and foolish," he said.

"At least I'm not a hypocrite." Takumi chuckled slightly as that anger cracked the air again. "If you think I can't handle you, then prove it! Or is your justice not worth that?" The crack split open to reveal Tousen's mouth.

"Of course my justice is worth it! I've come that far, and it hasn't failed me yet! It endures countless blows from words and weapons, but it has not and will not fall. That is what it means to truly fight for something. You have to be willing to take certain measures. Avoid bloodshed until it becomes unavoidable. Then, you have to be willing to sacrifice others to serve the end of justice, but you must never sacrifice yourself. Otherwise, who would defend it? That is a duty I cannot leave in another pair of hands. And that is something you cannot understand!" Takumi's reaction to the sudden outpour of reiatsu was much the same as when Tousen had first drawn out the mask. His face remained calm, his eyes observant. The black mess of reiatsu tangled and twisted until it was distorted beyond recognizable human shape. When it cleared to reveal Tousen's new form... only then did Takumi's expression change. His eyes widened slightly, and he gripped his sword tighter. Tousen's green eyes split open. "It was worth it to open these eyes just to see the expression on your face, boy. Tell me, will you retract your statement before I kill you?"

Takumi drew a slow breath between his lips. "So, that's a hollowfied captain's resurrection," he murmured. His voice held no fear, no surprise... instead, he sounded entirely expectant. "Grillar Grillo," he murmured. "That's some name. I don't speak Spanish, but I don't like the sounds of it." He gave a slight scoff and lifted his hand slightly, his eyes settling on the weapon that Tousen still could not see. "Think we can take him, Byakko?" he asked, more than loud enough for Tousen to hear. The wind around him rustled. There was nothing vicious in it; instead, it appeared to be almost playful. He gave a slight laugh and lifted his arm.

"What are you doing?"

"Oh, just taking it out of its sheath." He gave the weapon another slow swing. "After all, you've gone through all of this trouble. And I swore I'd do it today." He twisted his arm and turned the weapon experimentally. "You know I knew this would happen from the beginning, don't you?" His left pupil narrowed eerily. "People like you who are infatuated with abstract concepts like justice... you forget to look around you. You see, there's beauty a lot of things if you look hard enough. But that's something you wouldn't understand." His reiatsu snapped, and two streams of air slowly unwound, circling his arm and then shooting past his fingertips. As it dissipated, it unveiled the weapon he had been wielding the whole time, a katana with three holes near the base, a spiral guard, and colors without names reflecting in the blade. He swung it once, listening to it slide through the air. "Bankai: Senryuukaze Byakko." He wrapped his other hand around the hilt and drew a slow breath. _Now that I've said that, I really don't give a damn about dying. _

_You shouldn't, _his sword answered. Takumi nodded slightly.

_Stand with me until the end. _

For a moment, the air was still. Then, Tousen disappeared. In the instant before he reappeared, Takumi heard a voice whisper in his ear.

_I'm with you, Takumi._ The air moved, and Takumi felt himself thrown against the pavement. He skidded to a stop and got up, then fell to one knee as the world tipped.

_Son of a... he ruptured an eardrum. _Takumi stared at the blood on his hand as the tremendous ringing devoured his conscious thought. It was instinct that told him to raise his blade. Without a word, the wind shot forward and severed the green cero intended to obliterate him. _How the hell... _He drew a slow breath as the world continued turning in a whir. _How the hell am I supposed to beat him if I can't even stand up straight?_

_Takumi-sama. _The sword's voice spoke as the light from the cero dissipated and a wave of sound crushed the air from his body. For a long moment, he didn't perceive anything. Then, slowly, he moved his lips. He tasted blood on them and looked at the sword in his hand. _You so easily forget the words that Haru spoke. She said to believe in yourself. _His eyes flickered as the black thing crept into view. Without a word, he slammed his sword into the ground and pushed himself up, his breath ragged from taking two blows, his head a whir of sensations that were impossible to follow.

"You're alive."

"Of course," he gasped, sinking down slightly, then shoving himself back up.

"Why?"

Takumi's shoulders quaked. "Maybe there were times when I wasn't good enough. There were times when my ability to take things for granted was downright criminal. And there were times when I showed weakness when I should have shown strength. I..." His words came to a stop. "I even once thought... that it wasn't worth it to carry on." He dropped his head and clawed at the pavement. "But it's not about concrete, unfailing belief. It's not about finding who you are. It's about finding your way, and finding your way back. It's about being good enough even when you know you're not. That is..." He shoved himself up and staggered, then raised his sword. "That's what living is about!" His eyes flared, and he dodged the wave of sound that would have killed him. Tousen turned his head and saw that Takumi was right next to him. Before he could react, his left pupil narrowed to a slit. "I want you to know... that I've never killed anyone. So, I hope one day, when I'm older and wiser than I am now, I can learn how to regret doing this."

Takumi disappeared as the sound obliterated another building. He landed and shot away as soon as he sensed the next attack, gritting his teeth as his dizziness came back full force, but he didn't lose his footing for an instant. "If you're so determined, quit dodging already!"

Takumi landed and sank to his knee, pressing his hand against his ear and feeling the blood leak down his jawline. "No way," he said, grinning. "Besides, who said I was dodging?" He got up and steadied himself against the side of a house. "If you'd been watching, you would have noticed it." His left eye appeared and traced his recent path. "You still can't see it, can you?"

"There's nothing to see!"

"Just because you can't see something doesn't mean it's not there." He adjusted his hold and held his sword outwards, inhaling as the air circled him. "You lived your whole life blind, and now that you've finally opened your eyes, you've completely lost any capability to see that you had before." The sound waves pulsed towards him, but they were scattered by the unforgiving wind that raced outwards. "This is not just a thing for moving wind, you know. This is the heart of the wind itself." The sword vibrated slightly, its many colors flashing. "And right now, this heart wants only one thing: to keep beating until I can save that person... who opened my eyes to life." Reiatsu sparked as air and sound fell together. It began inching inwards, the wind losing ground to the wall of sound pushing against it, but at the last instant, Takumi's eyes shot open, and he raised his sword. "Shitsume kyoufu."

The air split, cutting the buildings around him, scoring the pavement, slicing the clouds in the sky. It hacked the sound waves of his enemy to bits. And when it had nothing left to cut, four streams of air shot through his enemy in the same instant. He watched without lowering his eyes or turning away. Takumi listened to the death cry with a neutral expression. Then, he watched as the corpse disintegrated. The air fell still, and he plummeted to his knees, setting the tip of his blade on the ground and gulping air that didn't stop his perceptions from running more and more together. _Not yet. I'm begging you. _He gripped his sword and gritted his teeth. _Come on... give me a break. I've only got a few minutes left until—_

He heard footsteps and jerked his eyes up, but when he saw it was only Hajime, he simply smiled and gave a slight laugh while a pair of mismatched eyes slowly surveyed his surroundings, an absolute warzone covered in blood, then settled on him. "What the hell... happened here?" Takumi shrugged.

"Relax. None of it's mine."

"I didn't ask if it was yours," he said in a low voice. "I asked you what happened here." Takumi laughed until his sides hurt, then looked up to his best friend. Or former best friend. Formerly Shimori Hajime of the fourth division, now Tokazawa Hajime of no division in particular. "Takumi—"

"Tousen hollowfied," he answered, his voice an exhausted mumble. "And I killed him. That's all there is to it." Hajime pulled away from Saki, still awestruck with the sheer destruction inflicted on their surroundings, and paced forward without staggering. "What?" Takumi said. "Are you going to lecture me now? Tell me I shouldn't have done that? That I went too far? Who are you to tell me how to live, you bast—" The rest of his words were cut off by the unsteady hand gripping his shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I should have told you the minute I found out who and what I was. Maybe if I had..." Hajime's voice trailed off, and he felt something warm fall against his hand. "Maybe if I had, you wouldn't have had to do this." The fingers on his shoulder tightened, and despite the fact that everything about him had up until that point been steady, Takumi realized Hajime's shoulders were shaking, too. "I promised. I promised I would keep the blood off of your hands. What good was that if you were going to do something like this?" Takumi's mouth went dry when Hajime looked up at him. Then, without a word passing between them, he felt a head drop onto his shoulder. "I want you to know... that even though Shimori-sensei was my mentor, the thing I needed most was a friend. You were the one who helped me keep moving forward. Protecting you, more than anything else, gave me a reason for living. Without that, I couldn't have gotten anywhere. Even if I've found other reasons for living, I wouldn't have been able to get here without you. All those times you suffered because of your power, or because of your own stupidity..." Hajime hunched over with a slow breath, then rested his head against Takumi's other shoulder. "Thank you."

_What am I supposed to do? _he thought. _One of the people I care about is crying, and I can't stop him._ Takumi set his teeth together, then forced a steady word. "Hajime."

"Sorry," he whispered, but that set Takumi's thoughts in motion again.

_All those times I was really struggling, I reached for him without really thinking. _He remembered being at the mercy of his sword, being in a cold and confused sweat. He remembered the feeling of the cloth on his head, and cold fingers against his wrist. "Everything you did for me back then..." His fist curled and slammed against the same jaw Saki had punched with enough force to throw him back, tears and all. Even then, the right eye never left his face. _I've lived my whole life as a selfish younger brother. Back then, I needed you to protect me. That's why... _A spear of white light shot between them moments before Hajime struck the ground. _That's why... right now, in this moment, I'm going to protect you. _The pupil in Hajime's right eye contracted a bit, and his eye widened in horror as a trickle of blood crept through Takumi's smiling lips. _So that one day, you can find your own happiness. _

Out of instinct, Hajime reached out. He heard Takumi fall in almost the same instant, a hissing breath and a mouthful of blood escaping him. Then, almost immediately, Hajime tried to struggle up, but something pinned him down, some reiatsu or force he couldn't understand, by something he had not foreseen.

"Hajime!" Saki was beside him, grabbing his arm when he tried to lurch forward again. He couldn't take his eyes off Takumi, who writhed on the ground and clutched the bleeding hole in his chest with one hand and his zanpakutoh with the other.

"Well, will ya look at that." All of Hajime's surroundings turned grey the instant he looked up and saw Ichimaru Gin holding a bloody sword. It had retracted to its original length, but as he turned it, Hajime spotted the piece missing. "Oi, does it hurt, kami-sama? That hole in your chest, I mean." Takumi's lips parted, and he made an incomprehensible noise as his face twisted into agony. "I can' have yer eye ruinin' any more of Aizen-sama's plans, can I?" Gin's red eyes parted, and he smiled with satisfaction before setting them on Hajime. Ichimaru turned and gave a casual wave of his hand. "You'd better pull outta this war if you wanna live. Things ain' lookin' good for Soul Society. Captain commander's down for the count, only a few captains left to fight, and we just got word about a group o' twelfth division shinigami near one of the pillars we cut down." What was left of Hajime's perceptions went blank. "Give it up. Haru's not comin'." Ichimaru's words lingered long after he had gone.

_The twelfth division... no. I don't have time to think about Mari right now. She'd want me to do something for him. _He shook Saki off and crawled towards his friend, putting his hand over the wound in his chest while his vision blurred and his kidou fizzled, but the wound wouldn't heal, and the more he tried, the more Takumi thrashed around. _Come on. Come on... _The wound was deaf to his silent pleas. He slammed his fist down and threw a long curse at the heavens before dropping his head and sobbing. "Damn it! Why? Why did you save me?" Takumi's eyes were unaware of everything but the pain, and even that light was fading. "I'm nothing but rukongai scum! I've taken more lives than I have breaths! I'm cursed and condemned to bear a name I can't carry without you and Haru there to support me! So why the hell did you—" That was as far as he got before he fell apart completely, bowing his head and letting his emotions tear him in two. Saki, who was watching from a distance, had to turn away so she wouldn't feel the scar the blow had left on Hajime or the one it would undoubtedly leave on Haru.

A numb silence settled in, so sudden and startling that she looked up to make sure Hajime was still there. He had stopped shaking as if some faint thought had seized him. Slowly, he lifted his head, oblivious of the tears streaking his face and the blood running from his twice-split lip. "That's it." He murmured it once, softly, then again with firm authority. "That's it." He tore off his cloak and rolled it up, setting it under Takumi's head, studying the listless blue for a moment, then standing and wiping his blood and tears away. "In two minutes, a shinigami is going to come here. You've seen her once before. Her name is Hinamori Momo. Until she comes, stop the flow of blood as much as you can. She can help when she comes. She's proficient in medicinal kidou. Don't let her leave to fight. Break her legs if you have to."

"But—"

"I don't have time to explain anything else."

"Hajime, you can't fight like this! It's suicide!" He stopped for a moment and squared his shoulders. Then, slowly he turned back.

"You've seen both of my shikai. You've seen what kind of hits shouhekitsuru can block, and you've seen the insane level of damage tokikage can deal out. You've seen my kidou and my flash steps, but there are things no one here has seen me do, not even Takumi."

"What are you saying?" He swallowed and let a breath slide through his lips, then took another step forward. "Answer me, Hajime!" The seriousness in his eyes silenced her, and he turned away again.

"Do not let him die, Saki-san. If he dies, then I can't do anything for him." Without another word, he disappeared, but that seriousness in his eye lingered even when Hinamori staggered onto the scene, took one look at Takumi, glanced briefly at Saki's blood-stained hands, and knelt to help. It lingered when she passed Hajime's message along. She kept her weapons handy, but the only thing Hinamori fought was the wound from which Takumi's blood was still flowing.

To what Hajime had said, Saki added, "Right now, I'm not really sure what he'll do if anyone crosses him."

"Don't worry," Hinamori murmured, lifting her eyes to Saki for a moment, then looking back to Hajime, entirely calm. "I believe in him. He'll save Takumi, even if it costs him everything."

* * *

><p>Ichimaru stopped walking and glanced back for the third time after imagining steps, but all he found there was his own shadow. He pressed his lips together and scratched his head. With a shrug, he started forward, then stopped when he realized that the shadow following him was Hajime, who was now standing between him and his destination. "Give it back." That was all he said in a quiet tone of authority while grasping the knife in his hand so tightly that his knuckles turned white. "Takumi's life... give it back."<p>

"I'm afraid ya got my power all wrong, boy. See, I leave a piece of kamishini no yari inside a' someone, I can' just call it back at will. Sides, that one's dangerous. He's got a habit a' lookin' into other peoples' business that I jus' can't allow to go on. Ya understand?"

"Then kill me instead." Hajime lifted his dead serious eyes and fixed them on Ichimaru's face. For the second time that day, his smile faltered as Hajime raised his hand to his left eye. "This eye sees the world the way it appears." His finger shifted to his right, crossing over the wound beneath it. "This eye sees the world as it is." Ichimaru put on his smile again when Hajime walked forward while drawing his other sword. "Where I come from, and where you come from, there's only one way this can end."

"Ya think ya can take me without a bankai?" Ichimaru staggered as he felt a shallow cut race from his shoulder to his elbow, a wound that was intended as a warning and a small sample of his opponent's capabilities. He studied his tattered sleeve for a moment before shifting his eyes back to Hajime, who had in the interval stolen Ichimaru's smile.

"Hmm... I wonder..." That was as far as he got before the spear of light shot through the building at his back. He drew a slow breath and began to descend, but then, what Ichimaru had thought was a body shattered, an illusion made of glass and seconds. The blade found his arm again, and one kick sent him flying into a wall. He looked up with his usual smile, watching Hajime pace forward with his sword poised and with a face quite different than what he'd worn while kneeling over what would soon be Takumi's corpse. It was Zaraki's bloodlust mingled with the calculating look of...

His crimson eyes snapped open.

"So, you figured it out." Hajime twisted his dagger, and the wall at Ichimaru's back crumbled beneath a series of blows. "You will not breathe a word of it, and that's only if I leave you alive."

Ichimaru scoffed and raised his weapon to the center of his chest and wrapped both hands around the hilt. "Kamishini no yari: butou." Hajime dodged the blow, even at that distance, and cut through his opponent again. Once Ichimaru regained his footing, he poised his weapon again. "Kamishini no yari: butou renjin." The air became a whir of blows, but only one of them found their target. Hajime cut around a wall and squeezed his bleeding arm. Before he could heal it fully, a flick of Ichimaru's sword severed the building from its foundation. Hajime flashed away, the dagger in his hand feeling cold and heavy.

_This is taking too long. Tokikage..._

_Don't rush me, _the blade retorted. Hajime glared at it. _I'm shading time for you. That's enough for now._

_How much more time is this going to take?_

_Not too much, not too little._

Hajime shook his head and smiled. Tokikage would say something like that, even in a desperate situation. So, he did the only thing he could. He dodged. He took every opening he was given, some without really seeing them. Ichimaru earned more bruises, and Hajime another cut on his hip, this one deep enough to slow him down. In the middle of healing it, he felt the faint stirring of another reiatsu in the area and found Ichimaru had turned in the same direction for an instant. His smile was back when he turned to Hajime, those red eyes appearing once more as he said, "Try dodgin' a blow not meant for you, boy." He felt a pressure against his blade even though Hajime hadn't moved, and when he turned his eyes, it was to find that Hajime's face was only inches from his own and that a two-bladed katakana was preventing his sword from extending.

"You have no idea what's going on, do you?" Hajime smirked because he knew the answer without Ichimaru saying anything. "Tokikage is a sword that shadows its opponent's perceptions of time. It can't parry, and I have to get really close to cut someone with it." His arm shifted, and Ichimaru felt an icy sensation along his face. "Shouhekitsuru is the sword that makes it possible to get close, because barriers can keep things out by surprisingly narrow margins. Right now, she is blocking your sword from firing." Hajime's smile faded, and his eyes darkened. His voice dropped to a whisper, and his right eye flickered with a distant memory. For an instant, he was completely detached from his opponent, lodged once more in rukongai's dark and dirty streets, standing over a bleeding corpse and chilled to the bone with horror. "It's not my style to do things this way, but because you helped my sister, I'll tell you one thing. If you point that blade at anyone other than me in a fight, I will gut you."

Ichimaru shoved Hajime back. When he raised an arm to block Ichimaru's kick, he realized a sword was pointed at his right eye. Without breathing, Hajime twisted his two-bladed katana so Ichimaru's attack sliced right across the wound he had made before. _I... _A sharp pain shot through his right eye, and he shut it. _Not yet. I can't stop. _He forced it open again and parried, then skidded backwards. He twisted tokikage and inserted its point between shouhekitsuru's blades, then turned it so its blade was sitting against the dull metal and swept outwards. The reaction between them was instantaneous and blinding. Without waiting for the light to fade entirely, Ichimaru shot forward and stabbed, but he felt a jarring pressure against his sword as his strike was countered. When the dust stood, a single long-bladed katana rested against his blade, and on the other end stood Hajime with a glove on his left hand and a relieved smile on his face.

"Bankai: Eienkagetsuru." He pointed the sword directly at Ichimaru, and upon closer look, the guard was shaped like a clock's face without hands. _I can't forget... that I'm not fighting this battle for myself. _He shot forward and slammed his sword against Ichimaru's, then twisted and kicked him with enough force to throw him through a wall. When retribution came, he turned and watched the spear of light shoot past him. Between moments, Hajime grabbed the blade in his glove-clad hand.

"Whaddaya think her doin'?" Hajime drew a slow breath and lifted his face. His eyes were closed, and his mouth was moving. "Ya think ya can break it with kidou?" He stopped and drew a slow breath. Then, slowly, his eyes opened. First the right, vivid and violet, then the left, a crisp and calculating brown. "Ya ain' got much time left before that poison kills yer friend, if it hasn' already." He exhaled, then released the sword, watching as Ichimaru retracted it, tasting the second between that and Ichimaru's next attack. Hajime dodged each one like he knew it would happen. He leapt up onto the roof, looked at the empty sky, and shot from one building to the other, knowing Ichimaru and his smile would follow. Another spear of light cut the air, but this time, Hajime disappeared the instant before it impaled him. Ichimaru felt Hajime's foot lightly touch the blade. Then, before he could distinguish one moment from another, a bite of pain swept away every other sensation.

With those mismatched eyes so close to his, he could hardly manage a gasp, but he had already thought ahead to that, and Hajime seemed to know that at that distance with his sword completely immobilized, there was no dodging or stopping Ichimaru from drawing his arm back and preparing to deliver one final strike. He gritted his teeth and hissed in frustration. _So close... if I could only cut through... his saketsu. _His perception of time slowed, and he stared at his enemy's blade. His lips split into a smile, and he lowered his head. _We gave it all we were. This is good enough._

But his perception snapped back to normal speed when he felt another jolt of reiatsu shoot through Ichimaru. The sword that had been poised to attack slowly fell, and when he lowered his eyes, he saw something sticking out of the place he had needed to cut, a half-glowing solid black arrow. He turned to look at the attacker and saw only a white blur as a fist collided with Ichimaru's jaw and flattened him against a rooftop. He felt a slight tug around his little finger and raised his head from the defeated to the victor.

"Haru." She gave him a slow nod of affirmation, and before he could speak again, she was gone. With the last of his strength, Ichimaru had peeled himself up and raised his sword again, but before he could attack, Haru jerked her seele out and smashed his bankai to pieces. Then, without mercy or hesitation, she slammed a foot against his chest, drawing a cough and blood from his lips, watching the blood ooze from his two wounds, feeling his power fade, and looking at him with consideration. "Haru," Hajime said, setting a hand on her shoulder. "That's enough, Haru. You don't have to do anything else."

"I'm not going to." She said it quietly, the flames in her eyes murmuring something different. "Gin-san, that song I played for you in Hueco Mundo was a sign of my trust. You followed Aizen, but you followed your own agenda first, didn't you?" She lowered her head with a sigh. "I understand that helpless feeling of not being able to get back the thing you love the most. You fought. You fought and you lost, but you've got the rest of your life to protect what you still have." She smiled. "You told Grimmjow-san about the ambush, didn't you?" His red eyes searched Haru's face, and his old smile came back.

"How'd ya figure that one out, Haru-chan?"

"I thought about it." Her eyes slid shut. "Without that information, we would all probably be dead, your precious things and mine, and the both of us. This is my thanks to you." She whipped away, her hair and her haori licking the air behind her. "I am putting you in the hands of someone I have defied many times. I'm interested to see what she does with you. Aniki, let's go." Hajime jerked up, passed Ichimaru one final look, curbed his own icy fury, and whipped away. He felt no guilt for leaving Ichimaru there.

Years later, Hajime spent more time wondering what happened to the silver-haired man than he should have, and for all his wondering, he could not for the life of him see it.

* * *

><p>"Good to see you in one piece," Hajime sighed, pressing his gloved hand to his head. "I honestly wasn't sure what I was going to—"<p>

"Idiot." He stopped immediately and grew rigid as he felt Haru's fist tighten around the front of his uniform and she continued in an even tone. "You gave him an opening. A damn good one. Wide enough for a freaking building to fit through." She gave an exasperated sigh and released him, then slowly shook her head. "Do you place so little value in your existence that you'd just throw it away?"

"It's not that," he answered. "There's just someone whose existence I value more than my own. You saw him before you came here." Her eyes glinted faintly, and she nodded. "How... was he?"

Haru pressed her lips together and remembered that feeling as she had stepped out of the void. Something had happened, something unspeakable, and it didn't take her or Grimmjow long to find it. When she saw Takumi lying on the ground, she shot to his side and suppressed the greater part of her shudder as his listless eyes peered through her. "I don't know if there's anything I can do, taichou," her vice-captain had said. There was sweat on Hinnamori's brow, and a faint glint of tears in her eyes, but other than that, she showed no signs of breaking down. Haru pressed her lips together, then swallowed and moved her eyes to the sword in Takumi's hand.

Grimmjow gave a low whistle and surveyed his surroundings with folded arms and flicking tail. "Who made this mess? Looks like a hurricane came through."

"You know about those?" Saki asked.

"Yeah. I heard old man Yamashita mention them once. Seriously, though... what did this?"

"It wasn't a hurricane," Haru murmured. "It was a god." She twisted towards Saki since her vice-captain was busy at the moment and said in a cuttingly low tone, "Tell me... who is responsible for putting my vice-captain in this condition?"

"Why do you want to know?" Haru's fingers tightened, and she stared outwards.

"Because no one, and I mean no one, messes with my vice-captain. Now, tell me who—"

"It was Ichimaru," Hinamori murmured, drawing Haru's eyes for a moment before she turned.

"But there's no reason for you to go after him," Saki added hastily. "That idiot brother of yours already did, and the way he looked... before the end, one of them will be dead."

"Wait, that kid went after Ichimaru?" Grimmjow asked. When Haru cut across the broken landscape in long, thoughtful strides, his eyes followed her until she stopped.

"Grimmjow-san, stay with Saki-san and Momo-san."

"Wha—wait just a second, chibi!"

"I need you to get him somewhere safe." She gestured to Takumi with her eyes.

"I'm not your errand boy!" he roared.

"I know. I'm asking you this as a friend, and I fully intend to repay the debt."

"What are you even going to do?"

"Isn't it obvious?" she asked, extending her bow so that her reiatsu swirled around her.

Haru glanced to Hajime as she emerged from recent memory and smiled faintly. "He's going to make it. He's a selfish younger brother and he cries a lot, but he's no pushover." He sank to his knees with a slow breath and lowered his head.

"That's a relief. I thought I was going to lose him." He glanced up at Haru, smiling. "How are you faring?"

"Tired," she retorted. "My shoulder still hurts."

"That's because I only suspended perception of it. I didn't actually heal it. Here, sit down." Haru did as she was asked, watching as he gently took a hold of her arm. "You might want to bite down on something. This is going to hurt a lot."

"I can handle it." He nodded and touched her arm, and the minute he did, pain flew through her like an arrow. She bit her lip and clutched his shoulder. What would have been a cry came out only as a vocal hiss. "Damn. That Ulquiorra bastard did a number on you."

"You don't say?" she managed. He gave a faint laugh and, using his gloved hand, spread kidou over the area. The relief was immediate, and with it came conviction. "Your kidou feels different."

"You think so?"

"Does that glove have anything to do with it?"

"It's part of my bankai. It enhances my kidou abilities."

"More?" Haru asked. "I can't imagine you can get any better."

"There are people who would say that about you," he murmured, his mismatched eyes glinting. "Luckily, I know you better." The glow on his fingers remained as he traced the scratch on her face and it disappeared behind the trail of light. Then, with a furrowed brow, he pressed his palm against her forehead. "You have a fever. You know that, right?" She gave him a questioning look, and her smile faded. The air around them stirred slightly, and for the first time, Hajime noticed the broken end of thread drifting through it. Immediately, his eyes shot back to hers, his fingers clutching her shoulder. "What did you do?" he asked, his voice shaking.

"You know what I did."

"But I want to hear you say it." She cast him a jaded look, then lowered her eyes.

"I used sasayakihi twice."

"Twice?" he echoed.

"Once in my fight with Ulquiorra."

"Why the hell did you use it twice?"

"The other time was to save you." The words cut him deeper than any sword could. "Because you're my brother, and because Takumi would never want you to save his life if it meant throwing yours away."

"You shouldn't have done something like that for my sake. You should have saved that arrow. Now, as it is, you're practically defenseless, and..." She set a hand against his shoulder and stood, stabilizing herself quite easily.

"I'm alright. I can keep going." She extended her fingers, bleeding from the bow's string, and tried to walk forward, but Hajime caught her wrist and held her back. "I won't stop until I've finished things. That's a promise I made myself, and I intend to keep it, but I can't do this alone. I might need you to carry me for a bit, so if you can keep going..." Haru glanced down when his glove pressed against her palm. His smile was troubled, but he didn't resist when she pulled him to his feet. "Together," she said. "Let's go together."

And because he did not know that would be the last time he would speak to her, he only smiled said, "You got it."

* * *

><p>The world turned a little slower that day while watching chaos unfold. One by one, the arrancar fell, some by a captain's hand, others by Aizen's. Then, it was only him. Him, and the exhausted remains of shinigami captains whose strength and number had been pared unbearably low even with the help of the vizard.<p>

"We're no friends of yours," Hirako had said to Byakuya when they appeared. "We just got somethin' to take back." Since Ukitake and Kyoraku had nothing to say about it, neither did anyone else. By then, the captain commander had long since been immobilized attempting to stop Aizen. Ukitake followed soon enough. They fell like ants at his feet, and those who still walked could only watch as their comrades lay in their own blood, hoping they were strong enough to live until someone could heal them.

"We have to keep holding them off," Hitsugaya said, watching Aizen cut down another of the vizard before thrusting his sword into Ukitake. He winced and drew a slow breath. "We have to."

"Don't you get it?" Soi Fon demanded, clutching her bleeding stump of an arm and gritting her teeth. "It's no good. She's let us down."

"She'll come," Hirako said, loosening his tie. "She promised. Ain't that right, Ichigo?" He made a sound of agreement and jerked his bankai out of the ground.

"Haru-sama has always been true to her word. I doubt she'd stop at the end of things," Ishida stated, watching as his arrow struck the building that he thought was Aizen. "It's not a matter of if. It's a matter of..." His voice trailed off as his eyes shifted to Aizen again. For some reason, a horror so profound had wracked his body that he couldn't even speak. "No... it can't be..." Everyone looked to Aizen to find that he had extracted a glimmering object, but no one dared to breathe its name. They were all too entranced by the sight of it, and dismayed by the slight shift in his reiatsu. No one said anything. They all knew that it was over, but they raised their weapons anyway, but in the gap between the final blow, a different reiatsu shifted, and out of nowhere, a foot threw the hougyoku from Aizen's grasp. As he reached for it, a weapon sliced his wrist, and the second foot threw him against a building. The gem plummeted to the ground below, then vanished from sight.

There was no time to look for it. She had to parry Aizen's response to her attack. Their blades and reiatsu ground together, the air crackling with competition. "So, you're finally here, Haru." Aizen threw her back and tried to cut her, but she dodged, feeling the breath in her lungs and the sweat on her forehead and the dormant fire in her veins stirring. When Haru stopped, she raised the seele she had used to parry him. The thread drifting through the air caught his attention, and he smiled darkly. "Do you think you can fight me without bankai?" He gave a derisive laugh and stared at her again. "Hopeless!" She listened to the word, her eyes as cold as flint. Slowly, she extended her arm towards him, as if she were perceiving time at a different speed than everyone around her. With calm precision, she flexed her fingers and lowered two. The remaining three, the thumb, forefinger, and middle finger, she kept extended.

"That sign again?" Soi Fon muttered. "That's the third time today. What does it even mean?" She looked to Byakuya for a response, but he had pressed his lips together in thought.

A voice behind her answered, "It's only a game."

"Hajime!" He waved his gloved hand calmly.

"Sorry I'm late. I had some business to take care of." His smile faded when he saw how poorly off everyone else was. He looked back to Soi Fon, at the bandage enveloping what had once been an arm, and murmured, "You really want to know the meaning of that sign?" His mismatched eyes turned serious, and his smile returned. "Like I said, it's nothing but a game that only Haru and Aizen know the rules of." In the prolonged silence, both Haru and Aizen seemed to be remembering those rules as they stared each other down. This time, Aizen moved first. They exchanged blows at a dizzying rate, and she kept up with an ease that made such power seem almost natural.

But then, just as suddenly as it began, it stopped. Haru felt something shift in her chest, and Aizen utilized that momentary break of rhythm perfectly: by slamming his sword against her seele with a force she couldn't parry. She plummeted, pursued by Aizen's kidou, and disappeared behind a screen of light and dust. Every foot and weapon moved to help her until Hajime's voice cut them off. "Don't!" He spat out the word and clenched his fists. "This is her fight. She said so herself. I can't let anyone interfere." The force of Ishida's fist slamming against his jaw turned his entire head.

"You call yourself her brother, and then you say something like that? What the hell is wrong with you?" He wasn't sure what was rolling down Hajime's face: sweat, tears from the blow, or perhaps a different kind of tears. Whatever it was, when he turned his head again, his eyes were backlit with something wild and unsettling.

"I'm saying it because of her pride." Hajime took a step forward, but with each one he took, Ishida couldn't stop himself from backing away. "You think this is easy for me? Do you think I want to sit here and do nothing? I could if I wanted to. You know it, too, but her pride keeps me from doing it. Because she values her pride even more than her life, that is the thing I will protect." Ishida wasn't sure when the wall came up at his back, but the shock when through him when Hajime raised a fist and slammed it against the wall at his back, drawing an unsteady breath from him. Hajime lowered his bleeding hand and threw his violet eye to his audience. "Does anyone else have an issue with that?" He knew they all did, especially Byakuya, but no one objected. "If she falls, then I'll do it. For now..." He turned his head towards the dust. "She's still alive."

Haru tasted blood in the back of her throat and spat it out. When she flexed her fingers, she felt nothing but pain. In her other hand, she felt the seele, and behind her, the bow with no string digging into her back, but beneath that, she felt something else—or rather someone else. She blinked to clear her vision, then stared at the clawed wresting on her arm. The realization hit her with incredible force.

"Gri... Grimmjow..."

"Jeez, you're heavy," he retorted, giving a slight cough. "You hanging in?"

"More... more or less." He forced himself up and pushed Haru into a sitting position. Her head reeled, and she hunched over, coughing into her hand for a full minute, then wiping the blood from her lips. He had sealed his sword, and now, his almost human fingers rested against her shoulder while he studied her. "Why are you here, Grimmjow-san?"

"Because it's where I need to be right now." She smiled and flicked the corner of her mouth with her thumb, and her reiatsu pulsed. When the dust cleared, Aizen stood staring at the both of them.

"Where is it?" he demanded.

"Even if I knew, I wouldn't tell you." In that moment, he was the world. There was nothing else. Not the crowd surveying her from a short distance away, not the espada holding onto her arm. She slipped one foot underneath her and tried to stand, but her own spiritual pressure brought her down to her knee and summoned a faint smile to her face. _It's finally time._

"Very well," Aizen stated, raising a hand. "You can die together." The dim glow hit both of their faces, and at the last minute, Haru shifted her eyes to the people studying her, to the people she had called family and friends and comrades in arms. The fingers on her shoulder tightened.

"Are you sure about this?"

"Yeah," he answered quietly. Haru laughed once before her fingers curled.

"I can't use kidou right now. I can't even stand up. I can't do anything."

"Doesn't matter." In response, Haru nodded once. Her sharp eyes never wavered, not as Aizen chanted the spell she knew well at a rate too fast to be stopped, not as Hajime stood and tried to move forward, not as Ishida gave her a look of inquiry an instant before darkness cut shot up around them.

Once the light disappeared, her consciousness wavered, then caved.

* * *

><p>Aizen noticed something odd about that particular kurohitsugi. His incantation had been flawless and full of conviction, but in the moment it should have collapsed, it stopped moving entirely. His eyes moved until they landed on Hajime, who had pressed his blade into the ground and dropped to his knees, sucking in a slow and unsteady breath. "Damn it." He murmured the word over and over until he sank against his sword.<p>

"That ability seems to be causing you quite a bit of discomfort." Hajime shot Aizen a leer and gritted his teeth. "And here, after all that talk about pride—"

"Shut your mouth," he spat, then hunched over entirely. _Come on, Haru... _

"No doubt something like that will cost you your life... unless you stop suspending the kidou and kill me." Aizen smiled. "Come on. I'll even give you a free hit."

"Hajime," Soi Fon called. "Just let it go. We'll find another way."

"No." She started sputtering something about disobeying him, but Byakuya lifted his arm to silence her.

"You are obviously at your limit. Let us take it from here."

Using the last of the air in his lungs, Hajime breathed the word, "No."

"Are you disobeying your superiors again?" Byakuya demanded.

"What the hell else am I supposed to do? That's my little sister, damn it! You'd do the same for yours, wouldn't you?" Byakuya's eyes widened for a moment, then darkened, and slowly, Hajime became aware of his own rashness. He had said those words, in front of Aizen no less, and Aizen's face showed he registered their meaning. The words cut him, and they cut him away from everything. He wrapped both hands around his sword and leaned his forehead against the blade as their weight pressed upon him, just one lost battle in the hopelessness stagnation of a war that had gone on for too long.

"You idiot." The voice belonged to a very recognizable pair of steps. Hajime peeled himself up and watched as the speaker stepped between him and his blood. His attempts at speaking failed, his words nothing but voiceless breaths, so instead, he watched as Takumi's fingers fanned through his hair, then fell back into place around his blue eyes. "You listening?" Hajime tried to say that he was, and Takumi continued. "I don't give two shits about your blood as long as it's in your veins. Quit trying to die for someone and just live, damn it." He pointed the sword at Aizen. "Your turn to listen, asshole. I just got carried here by two girls after your lackey ran me through. This idiot here," he pointed to Hajime, "practically died to keep me alive. And after all that, I'd have to say he gets his stupidity from you. Who else would be dumb enough to forget?" He smiled and his left pupil narrowed. After a still moment, when the wind shifted, Takumi's arm arched throught he air. "The base of taichou's power is the first flame that devours kidou, but that doesn't mean I won't help it along a bit, because no one messes with my captain." The wind heard Takumi's words and his heartbeat, and responded by slamming gale-force against Aizen's kidou. "Come on, taichou," he murmured, just loud enough so Hajime could hear. "Isn't it about time you unsheathed it?"

* * *

><p>"It stopped." Those were the first words she heard after her name. Her eyes opened, and she blinked against the darkness. "Haru, it stopped."<p>

"Looks that way," she muttered, shaking herself conscious and studying the black walls.

"How long do you think we've got?"

"As long as Hajime can give us." He sighed and crossed his legs, setting his chin in his hand, watching as Haru stared at her palm and flexed her fingers. The heavy feeling of reckoning sank in, and she closed her fist. "Let me ask you one last question, Grimmjow-san," she said without looking up. "If it were possible to make a future where the past no longer existed, and that future was a happier one than the future this present would yield... if I was the part of that past that had to disappear, would you still protect me?"

"What the hell kind of question is that?" he demanded.

"Just answer it."

"I don't understand a damn thing you just said, but it goes without saying that I'd protect you no matter what." Haru lifted her eyes from her hand, her faint smile fading away as her eyes vanished, then reappeared, her sentiments dim aside from the burning determination and the faint glimmer of hope.

"Thank you," she murmured, standing without effort and pacing forward, her hands shifting so they crossed at the wrists. The black ribbon wound around her bankai started reddening from the edges inward. When they stirred, Grimmjow saw that the other side was white. With each step, Haru's uniform darkened, first to a faint cloud gray, then to a storm. "I was hoping to show Byakuya-sama this first. Oh, well... guess you'll be the one. Too bad you won't remember later."

"What are you talking about? You've gone as far as you can go!"

"No," Haru murmured. "I can still go a bit further." Her hands twisted, and the sharp snap that shattered the silence was quickly buried by a roaring cloud of flames. Their light was blinding, but when Grimmjow uncovered his eyes, he realized daylight was there, too, and the blue sky overhead. A few silver sparks still drifted through the air, and when he raised his eyes again, he was staring at the insignia on the back of Haru's haori. The red and white tails of not one but two identical swords with one light edge and one dark edge danced across it. Sunlight rested on their golden hilts, shaped almost like lotus flowers. The wind raced to meet Haru, and she breathed it in before releasing the name of that form.

"Ignis solus: hateshinai fukatsu."

Slowly, her eyes open, and her breath stopped halfway in. She had only been gone for five minutes, but in that amount of time, it seems Aizen had decided to attack. Shinji was laying on the ground in his own blood, coughing, Saki was standing between an utterly horrified Hinamori and her old captain, Hitsugaya was laying a short distance away, his arm severed at the shoulder... but perhaps the worst thing of all, the thing that made her head reel, was the fact that at that very moment, Byakuya was on the end of his sword, blood trailing from his lips and onto the scarf, while he stood with his sword half-raised between Aizen and her vice-captain. He wavered and dropped to one knee, coughing roughly into his hand. Ichigo's mouth hung open, but his cry was caught in his throat and came out instead as a hoarse gasp. Behind him, Ishida gripped his shoulder in case he tried to bolt forward, which Soi Fon seemed intent on doing Haru barked a single word. "Stop!" She paused just long enough for Aizen to take his sword out and swing, opening Byakuya from hip to shoulder. His lips moved. Through the distance between them, she caught his words by sight, not by sound.

"Ha... ru... kun..." Her heart hammered, and he managed one more word. "Fight..."

The tears that were seeping from her eyes stopped as her expression became almost startlingly neutral. She pressed her lips together, readjusted her hold with steady hands, and murmured in response, "I will." Her eyes only moved away from Byakuya after he had fallen to the ground, entirely still. Then, she looked to Aizen's face and saw him smiling.

"Was it worth it to protect that hollow, Haru, to lose so many people in one strike?"

"I haven't lost anything yet." She adjusted her footing and flew at him, bringing both of her blades against his at once. He swung to throw her back, and she dodged relentlessly, saying just out of his blade's reach. As their weapons locked again, she threw her eyes away from her opponent. "Grimmjow-san, Hajime, Ishi-nii." She looked at them in turn. "Get everyone out of here. Now."

"Haru-sama—"

"That's an order!" She threw Aizen back and kicked him in the jaw, then turned away. _That... is my final order. _The sword in her right hand arced, and she blocked his blow, then swung with her left. After that, she lost count of how many times they traded the roles of defender and attacker, but every single one crushed a little more of that false city. Every dodge meant that some street below was ripped apart. Haru felt it, too. She gritted her teeth as pain wracked her body each time they parried. _This is enough, _she told herself. _It has to be enough. _Aizen threw her back, and Haru staggered, tilting slightly so his blade swept just past her, then tipped her eyes as he appeared on her opposite side. _You took my father. _Their blades met, and she felt something inside of her stir. _You took my mother. _Between blows, she thought she heard her mother's laughter. _You took Shimori-sensei away from my brother... _When she looked at the sky, she saw him smiling. _You tried to take Takumi, Momo-san, Grimmjow-san, Hajime... _Their faces flashed through her mind one after the other, determined and faithful. _You cut Toshiro-san and Shinji-san and the gods only know who else... _She twisted and blocked his blade, then slid the other through his side to find it was just an illusion. _But worst of all... _Her eyes fell shut, and for an instant, she saw Byakuya's face in the dark, looming over hers, full of a desire he would not let himself cave to. Then, his lips were all blood and dying breath. Aizen swung, but Haru crossed her blades and caught his attack. _Worst of all, you hurt the person who helped me heal. _She changed her grip, then flung him back and shot forward, whirling around the attack from behind her, then driving her weapon through the real Aizen.

It was startling, how alive she felt, to see that sword sticking out of his side, but he only laughed

"What do you intend to do now? Kill me?"

"I..." she breathed, realizing how fragile her voice sounded outside of her head. "I... will have nothing to do with killing you." She raised her other weapon, angling her arm so his blade stuck through it and hissing when she jerked it so the blow would avoid her head. _Weapon, _her mind said. She grabbed the seele from behind her. It passed through his sword entirely, shattering the blade before she threw him downwards. Then, with a deep breath, she raised the sword she still had and whispered a name.

The instant it left her lips, three pillars of flames devoured them.

* * *

><p>Those who were still conscious watched the end from a safe distance, a spiral of white and black fire that burned for nearly three minutes before pulsing, collapsing in on itself, and simply disappearing. Takumi, well enough to stand by himself, lowered his head, not just because he knew it was finally finished, but because a question weighed him down. <em>How... did this happen?<em>

Once the flames were gone, Hajime knelt and began to work the injured. "Find the wounded and bring them to me," he said to everyone who could walk. "Leave the dead, but remember where they are. We can't do anything for them besides give them a proper burial. Travel in pairs in case anyone attacks you. Soi Fon-taichou, please try to establish contact with Seireitei and Division Four and tell them we need a squad down here now. Takumi, I know you're exhausted, but can you give me a hand?" He looked up to see Takumi's eyes locked on the distance. "Takumi?"

"I'll be back," he murmured, then disappeared without waiting for permission or acknowledgment. His flash steps carried him to the site of the final attack. The air was thick with a familiar reiatsu, but whose it was, he couldn't tell. He approached the stationary figure with one hand on his sword, but there was no need. Aizen was in a heap, stripped of his power, with two holes in his stomach. His saketsu and hakusui had been severed, and the remaining half of his sword was crumbling to dust. Next to him was the hougyoku, flashing with a will that was not Aizen's.

"There you are," Hinamori said, hunching over and sucking in breaths before looking at him. "Takumi, why are you crying?"

When he lifted a hand to his face, he found tears streaming from his eyes. He didn't understand whether he mourned the lost world he had known before war or some more solid reality. A sense of loss welled up inside of him, inexplicable and so strong that he fell to his knees and pressed his head to the ground, sobbing.

From then on, his world was darkened by an absence he could not understand.

* * *

><p><em>That day, to save the world and my pride from extinction, I wished myself out of history.<em>

_There is some truth to what Grimmjow-san always said about me, that my sword was meant to protect and not to kill. To betray that would be to lose myself forever. So, instead of killing Aizen, I bound him using half of my power. I left him with the remaining half of his sword and the hougyoku. I took the captain's haori. Then, I disappeared from memory._

_It turns out the wish wasn't foolproof. Grimmjow-san found me displaced and half-conscious a few hours later. One glimpse of my eyes was all it took to draw my name out of him. Between sobs, I managed to convey most of what I had done in terms simple enough for him to understand yet too simple to capture the whole truth. He never questioned my motives. He never told me to go back. In the end, Grimmjow-san did what he promised to. He protected me._

_For months, he nursed me back to health in Hueco Mundo, now deserted and far less confining than the first time I visited. When he took me there, I had practically no reiatsu, and half of Aizen's blade was still stuck in my arm. There were days when all I did was lay awake and stare at the ceiling, wondering without feeling. There were days when I could only fall asleep with Grimmjow-san watching me. There were days when I didn't even wake up. I recovered slowly, just like the broken world I had left behind._

_The first time we sparred on the roof again, he threw me down so hard that I broke a rib, but I got up and kept fighting anyway. I couldn't stop myself. And he apparently felt the same, because we refused to be still for longer than a moment. We carried each other in that day, and I began to relearn everything. I remembered the feeling—and the art—of holding a sword, remembered exactly how to alter my grip when my palms began to sweat. I remembered flash step patterns, attack rhythms, and finally that faint thrill nestled in the pause between matches. We won, we lost, and we grew strong again._

_The world kept turning, the world Grimmjow-san took me into, and the world I had taken myself out of: Soul Society._

_There were unexpected words full of regret..._

Ukitake and Kyoraku knelt beside Yamamoto's bed. He was facing the golden horizon, mourning his vice-captain with a silent, stone expression. He often looked out the window when they came as if the sight of them was enough to evoke that feeling of loss all over again. Kyouraku sipped his tea and stirred. He knew he should be getting back to his own division soon. He looked at his companion, who nodded in understanding, and they both set their empty cups down before standing. "Jyuushiro." The silver-haired captain stopped and turned back. "Shunsui." He tipped his straw hat and peered at the captain commander with his one remaining eye. "I think it's about time that I retire."

_There were reunions..._

They had found Ichimaru unconscious, more dead than alive, and devoid of power. Hajime worked over his injuries with the same care he would have given anyone else. He wouldn't let Matsumoto in until he was finished. When he woke up after two days of being unconscious, all he said was "Rangiku" before she burst into tears and fell against his chest. Hajime shut the door and pressed his lips together, then paced off to tell Unohana that Ichimaru, the traitor who betrayed the traitor, was awake. Not long after that, perhaps a handful of days, he disappeared and left Hajime left to wonder where he'd gone.

_There were revelations and realizations of powerlessness..._

Byakuya watched Rukia pass out of his room at the fourth division and sigh, then looked to the sword that had been dormant since the end of the war. He wondered when it would come back, if it would come back, and what he would do in the meantime. Fortunately, his vice-captain was almost too eager about training recruits even if he was lackluster elsewhere. He flexed his fingers and felt his own reiatsu, weakened by his wounds but still there. Despite everything, his sword would not return, at least not yet. When he asked why, the senbonzakura had answered, _There is a wound in you far deeper than you realize, and it will take time to heal. _Byakuya was impatient as always, but he directed all of that impatience inward as he leaned back and shut his eyes. All he could do was wait and take solace in the knowledge that his power, despite the extent of his injuries, was still alive.

_...and sometimes, life simply went on without changing much._

"Kurosaki-kun! Rukia-san!" They both turned to Orihime as he raced to them, waving. Chad and Ishida were following behind her, the quincy with a thoughtful hand on his glasses. It was the twenty-third of March, and he couldn't shake the feeling that something important had happened that day in the recent past. "Let's check out that new restaurant! Satsuki-chan told me it was really good..." That was the last he questioned it before they started forward, all smiles and chatter except Rukia, who immediately said she was only concerned for her brother because his wounds had been so much worse than hers. With the new term starting in a little over a week, he had neither time nor energy to question her. On top of everything else, he was teaching Hiroto, some distant quincy cousin that had been selected as the next heir of the Yamashita clan. He was focused, and a mite too serious, and Saki's presence was grating sometimes, not to mention Hiroto's oddly mature outlooks on life, but he supposed he couldn't complain about being able to see both sides of the war.

_But not everyone was so lucky._

Takumi stood at the foot of the grave and stared at it. He knew what Mari would say if she were there, that it was right and proper for her to go first as the older sister. Every eye from the eleventh bit into him as he stared at the dead stone until the edges of it blurred and all feeling seeped out of his legs. He hadn't cried when they told him. Part of him had already known. He hadn't cried at the funeral. Only now, now that her ashes were scattered, did he feel it. He clenched his fists and bowed his head, and when he felt a hand on his shoulder, he jerked up and half expected to find her there. Instead, Hajime's mismatched eyes settled against his own. "Well," he said, "aren't you going to cry for her?" Takumi, having no one else to lean on, fell against Hajime's shoulder and vented every ounce of his frustration over the life he couldn't save.

_When I made that wish, I expected some of the effects of my life to fade away, but none did. Takumi was still the vice-captain of the fifth division. Hajime was still a Tokazawa with a cross-shaped ear cuff. Of course, that caused an entirely different set of problems..._

He sat alone in what had once been his teacher's house, his eyes fixed on a candle he had lit with his own kidou, completely lost in a trance of thought. He stared at the flame and tried to recall just who had made that second hole in Ichimaru, but halfway there, pain pierced his being and brought him to his knees. Behind the hand pressed against his throbbing right eye, he saw the white point of light barring his way. He sagged to the side and bumped the table, and the candle toppled to the floor. The flame went out. After a few moments of darkness passed, he pulled himself up with resolution and crawled toward the wall, gasping for breath as the cold sweat prickled against his skin. Then, he heard a voice saying his name. He lashed out when he felt a hand on his shoulder, driven by his old rukongai instincts, and Takumi blinked at him, holding him by the wrist. "I can't," he breathed, jerking away and pressing a hand over his eyes.

"Hajime..."

"I can't see it! Why..." He lowered his hands and looked desperately at Takumi, who only sighed and rested a hand on his shoulder, much as Hajime had done at Mari's funeral. Only this time, it was Hajime's turn to fall apart. "Who was it?" he shouted, his head sagging. "Who saved me from the darkness of that name? Who was the reason I came back here after retrieving tokikage? Who put Ichimaru out of commission for good? Who... who defeated Aizen?" Takumi didn't answer, but they both understood, without saying anything, that they may never know the answer to any of those questions.

_...the same way Takumi's status as vice-captain did._

"Listen here, Fujiwara," Kyouraku stated. "I don't know who occupies the seat of captain right now, but that position needs a face. You can't follow someone that doesn't exist."

"I'm not," he answered. "That person is still out there, whoever they are. And if they choose to give me the captain's seat, then fine, but until they tell me so, I'm not going any farther than I have." Kyouraku rubbed his temples. He was getting nowhere. "I'm sorry. I hope you can accept that even if you don't understand it."

"I do. It's just—" Nanao swatted him with the clipboard, then straightened her glasses. After Takumi took his leave, she said,

"I'll talk to him and make sure he comes around. The sooner, the better. The fifth division is weak as it is. First Aizen betrays them, then their current captain just vanishes, and no one can seem to remember who that person is or was."

"If they even existed," Kyouraku reminded her. "Remember that Aizen has created illusions before. Why should this person be any different?"

_And they weren't the only ones questioning it._

Byakuya surveyed his belongings from the fourth division. In his rush to bury himself in paperwork, he had forgotten to do so, but now that working hours were over and he was back at his estate for the first time in months, he pulled out his scarf, bloodied and torn, the remnants of one of his gloves, and...

He peered at them and frowned.

He didn't wear glasses, and he knew women that did, but he never talked to them. He considered the possibility that they had wound up in his box by mistake. In fact, he half got up to report the misplacement, but in the end, he set them down because they evoked something odd. When he looked at them, he felt inexplicably sentimental. So, he set them in the cabinet with Hisana's picture, and when he went to visit the memorial of his dead wife, he would also examine the article whose presence he could not explain. Eventually, they migrated to a pocket inside his haori and accompanied him everywhere even though he had no use for them.

_One day, after a long spar that left both of us winded, Grimmjow-san turned over, studied me for a moment, and said my name in such a way that drew my eyes, because I knew what he had to say was serious. "Haru. Do you ever think..." I sat up and peered at him, then clasped the ring around my neck. "No. It's stupid."_

"_What is it?"_

"_Just wondering if all of this was your will, too. I mean, you said you'd make me king, and you did. And you said you'd be the one to beat Aizen, and you did. Even if it cost you..." He stared at the black cloth wrapped from my hand to my elbow, the one that cut me off from ignis solus and sealed Aizen. "It cost you everything. Your power, your place in the world. You didn't hesitate to sacrifice any of that, but you left traces of yourself all over the place. That Hajime kid's still calling himself by your mother's name, and your vice-captain refuses to lead the fifth division despite not even knowing your name. And I heard from Takumi that your old boyfriend spends a lot of time staring at a certain pair of glasses when he isn't doing paperwork."_

"_So?"_

"_So, maybe some part of you was fine with leaving the world, but maybe some other part of you wanted to stay."_

"_I did what I had to do. That's all there is to it." Grimmjow sat up and turned to me with a grin._

"_You think you'll go back?"_

"_No," I said firmly. Of all the words he could have said, those were the most dangerous._

"_Why not?"_

"_It might affect this." I held up my left arm, bound by then for seven months. "If this burns away, it means Aizen's binds have worn off, too."_

"_Then beat him like you did last time." He laughed at my glare, but he stopped when he saw I had lowered my eyes. He scooted a little closer and rested his elbows on his knees. "Why don't you want to be seen, hmm?"_

"_I don't feel connected to those people anymore." I said it quietly, and when I looked up, it was to find him staring seriously at me.  
><em>

"_Your brother."_

"_No."_

"_Takumi."_

"_Not a thing."_

"_That Momo girl he should just marry already."_

"_Not her, either."_

"_Then that shinigami you were going to get hitched to." I didn't move, not until Grimmjow started rubbing my head, grinning and chuckling long after I swatted his arms away. "Seriously, chibi... you wished yourself away, but you left pieces of yourself all over the damn place. Someday, someone's going to figure it out."_

"_They won't find me. I'm not there."_

"_If they figure it out, I'm taking them here."_

"_What? You wouldn't!"_

"_I would because I'm sick and damn tired of you hiding." He ruffled my hair again and caught the fist I was going to slam against his jaw. "You know it's okay to be selfish once in a while, but at least think about it. Takumi asks me every time how his captain's doing, even though I tell him there's no change, I think he knows better than to eat the stale lie I'm spoon feeding him, same as that kid with the one purple eye. By the way, did I tell you he applied for a partial transfer?"_

_"What?"_

"_He's in the second now. Soi Fon gave him the fifth seat. She's training him to run the kidou corps." I smiled, but I don't know why. "Anyway... just think about it, will you?" He got up to leave, but he didn't make it more than five steps._

_"Grimmjow." He stopped walking, and I turned toward the moon. "I can't go back if they can see my face."_

"_So cover your face and wear that cloak."_

"_Cloak?"_

"_Remember? I picked up Hajime's cloak before I carried you back here." I didn't say anything else. I only stood up and felt, for the first time in months, the gnawing bite of impatience._

_I don't think he was wrong about me wanting to leave some gateway back to that world open. Even if I had lost my emotions, some dormant part of me still treasured that world, so I followed his advice and decided to see and feel the abundant change that had happened in my absence wearing a faded uniform, a dun-colored cloak, and a mask I'd made out of reishi. I left the haori I had carried back, just as I had left the sash that I never planned on wearing again. In that moment, as we stood on the roof with a black gap between us, he saw as well as I did that I could no longer cling to the fringes of the healing world, that I had to put myself back into it as a reshaped piece of the puzzle that filled the same hole in a different way._

_Strange… standing at the edge of that black void, I felt like I was marching towards something entirely different from what I left behind. As I closed the door behind me, I remember thinking, _Soul Society. It's just like Rukongai. Once it's in you, you can never really get it out.

* * *

><p>Ugh... there are seventeen hundred things that I'm dissatisfied with, and I still think a lot of parts of it feel really rushed and gaps and things, but I really need to put this to bed. No Japanese in this chapter, so I'll do a quick rundown of powers and things that appeared for the first time.<p>

Tokikage: Translates to "Time shadow" or "Clock shadow." It is a dagger, and its ability when sealed is to inflict cuts on its own time delay. Hajime, being able to foresee the timing, can then release it at the correct time for maximum damage.

Shitsume Kyoufu: Death claw gale, or four claw gale. It depends on the kanji used. One of Takumi's attacks.

Eienkagetsuru: Translates to "eternal shadow crane," the product of Hajime's two shikai melding together. It provides him with a substantial increase in kidou strength and speed.

Hateshinai fukkatsu: United collapse, the highest stage of Haru's bankai, wherein she breaks her bow into two swords.

Next chapter is the finale! Huzzah! ...and maybe a short epilogue. And by short, I mean under 10 typed pages. Because for me, that is short.

But the good news is, the next chapter is super long. ^_^

Until then, take care, and thank you again to all!


End file.
